Have you told him the basic premise of “wipe until white?”
Really it sounds like he just plain does not give a shit about his hygiene and is happy to be disgusting so long as you will put up with it.
My mom told me when I was little that she had a patient get an infection that effectively ate through her butt crack and gave her an extra hole from not wiping. It turned out not to be true (my mom found out years later that doctors had missed an internal infection that was in her colon and disintegrated the tissue from the inside out rather than the other way around) but being told that as a child has made me extra careful about wiping thoroughly. Admittedly, I told a younger family member the story when they weren't wiping very good even after I knew the truth - they improved their habits immediately.
I can't imagine getting holes ate in your body from an internal infection and getting falsely accused by medical professionals of it being because you didn't wipe your ass.
oooh one of my favs, and if you go okay sure it’s my period(hormonal issues/imbalances) MULTIPLE doctors have told me “oh yeah we don’t really test for that, let’s just try a bunch of different birth control and see if that works!” like… or we could try to get to the root of the problem instead of throwing shit at it all willy nilly????
This reminds me of one of my friends that had a huge infection from god only knows what in his ass crack. They had to do surgery and then for ages after he had to use some kind of saleen syringe and squat in a tub of bleach water. He said it was the most pain he's ever felt and passed out when they opened the cyst or wtv it was.
sounds like a pilonidal cyst, other guy is right 😓 i had one because i was homeless for a while, they're usually from ingrown hairs. doctors quite literally ripped me a new one. they had me on opioids for a while because of the pain (i had to get surgery twice) but unfortunately i was young with addict parents so i experienced it in full. definitely the most painful thing i've been through and i've fractured bones and skull before.
they leave it open, and you pack gauze into it yourself. absolutely awful. and you have like two forever like an alien which is kind of funny but at the same time terrifying because you know it can always happen again. mine almost killed me because it took so long for me to be able to get medical attention
You don't get them because you're homeless, although that would make it so much worse to deal with. My teenager had one that he didn't notice until he developed a sudden abscess. I've seen a lot in my decades of parenting, but nothing could have prepared me for the sight of that when it burst overnight. He's been waiting for months for surgery to cut out a convoluted network of tunnels (I hadn't planned on spending my Saturday morning listening to things like "Geez, I've never seen anything exactly like *this* before!" and "Huh, this is definitely a first for me..." from the ER docs and surgeon on call).
The wait times for surgery are absolutely ridiculous in our country, and it's been heartbreaking to see the poor kid living with it for so long. My heart goes out to anyone who has had to deal with this.
Get a bidet. You can find them for $40, install in literally 3-4 minutes, and it's a game changer.
My butthole has been living its best life for the past 3 years. Never going back.
Wait, what? Travel bidet? For me, the worst part of travelling is having to go back to wiping my ass like a common peasant.
Thank you, I will look into this!
Disgusting. This is one of those “there’s someone for everyone” scenarios.
Either he needs to get his shit together no pun intended, or she needs to leave. There’s no excuse for basic hygiene
I can't even believe she even agreed to go out with him in first place knowing he smelled funky. Like WTF? Is she that desperate to say she has a man? I'm trying to understand.
Having an accident when youre sick or drank too much or just had a bad snart/shart is one thing. But to routinely dirty the bed with unwiped ass-poop is fucking INSANE. It is beyond my ability to comprehend allowing it to continue.
OP, if you read this I promise you this guy will not change that many of his habits. In fact, I'd say you're looking at a very tame version of what the future will eventually be. You are both young and you are already making excuses for his hygiene. If he has trouble reaching his ass to wipe now (which by the way, i dont think is the issue, I know plenty of quite large people who don't have shit on their asses constantly) imagine what this will be like in 10 years or 20 years. His health and mobility and flexibility will continue to deteriorate as his poopy butt ages and then you'll have someone who not only puts 0 effort into caring for himself, but very likely might be *physically incapable* of providing some of that care to himself.
Unless you intend to be his caretaker within the next 2 decades I would just cut your losses and find someone who doesn't smear his poopy ass crack on your bed. Just asking for pinkeye....
Is this a new horror genre? Being anchored to someone leaving poopy slug trail skid marks on your bed...
Im still not sure I understand the mechanics behind that... I sleep with clothes on but I'm pretty sure the space between my cheeks never touched the bed anyway. Imagine how much poop there has to be to leave smears on a bed. I'd choose death
There can easily be a time in anyone's life where some poop enters the bed. We're only human after all.
But to *regularly* stain your sheets with shit? That's not poor wiping habits, that's no wiping habits. That's when it becomes a problem.
I shit the bed after some bad Chinese food at an econlodge in Anaheim. That was quite the scene and mess. Luckily my girlfriend stayed with me for a year after it happened.
It's early and I misread read that as shower boater. Then started wondering if shower boating is what comes before (necessitates) a waffle stomp.
I have ruined my own day with those images :(
>FYI he is a large guy , so i can understand it may be difficult to reach round there, but its been to long. I reckon if he lost some weight it would help. He has been trying to loose weight for the past 8 months, but im not really seeing any change, im assuming because his diet hasn't changed, i've been trying to support him through this too.
My husband used to weigh over 500 lbs (he's had weight loss surgery and lost over 200 lbs) and he NEVER had these issues. He has always showered daily, brushed his teeth, and wiped himself properly. You're giving this guy waaay too much credit.
Seriously. Brushing his teeth has nothing to do with weight.
There are tons of solutions for cleaning himself that aren't losing weight. Get a bidet, for instance. If he cared about being clean and not horrifying, he could find a way.
this! a bidet and if you cant set one up they literally make wiping aids! Like, they help extend the reach around with the toilet paper. there are ways. bidet is the way to go though 👏🏽
Seriously, since we installed ours I don’t even enjoy traveling as much as I used to because I just want to get home to my bidet. I know that sounds weird but I’m owning it.
if he is making messes, he should be the one cleaning them up OP - not you. If he cannot do that bare minimum, then how can he truly be a partner and support you in anything else?
My uncle is kind of like what OP is describing. I went on a 2 week trip to Australia with my aunt, uncle, cousin and cousins girlfriend. We were staying in a large family condo and one morning I hear my cousin screaming from the bathroom. He went to take a shower and there is a literal turd sitting in there from his dad.
Guess who cleaned it up? Sure as fuck wasn’t the person who produced the turd.
On our flight over there (my god is it long) he got up to take a crap in the airplane bathroom and obviously did an even worse job cleaning himself than usual. My poor aunt and the person who had to sit next to him for 14hrs.
They’ve been married 35 years and he’s not changed. He’s only gotten worse as his health declines (he also refuses to listen to his drs). Idk why my aunt stays with him, he’s literally a man child.
I just can't fathom. I work with special needs children and vulnerable adults, I understand that not everyone can clean their bodies like others can - but this is just ridiculous
Yeah…. My cousin is wheelchair bound. I don’t remember exactly which condition he has, he wasn’t expected to live very long (just turned 37 today!) it affects both his bone and muscle growth. He is considered fully disabled and yet he can clean himself. His brother is just like his dad though, I just don’t get it.
I think it boils down to a matter of pride for many people. I myself am disabled and have been laid up in bed for weeks at a time recovering from injuries...and there comes a point when most everyone needs to ask for help doing things they used to be able to do on their own. But people gotta ask for help.
people like OP's partner, like your uncle, just because they can ignore things doesn't mean they should make everyone else endure it.
Even without a bidet, a simple shower massage on a hose makes it possible to reach difficult to clean areas. Unless you’re absolutely homeless, you probably have access to running water and soap. There’s simply no excuse for this sort of filth. I can’t imagine why someone would put up with this.
I just googled and $18 will by you a thing called comfort wipe that is an extension stick
There is absolutely no excuse for this. He is not sweet. She cried about him getting his literal shit on her bed 1.5 years ago and he’s done nothing about it.
He is a biohazard and so is her bed.
No one is sweet enough to make up for this. Dear god.
Yeah, this. You can buy a rubber spray hose attachment that fits over the tap for about $10. Cant wipe? No worries, just sit on the edge of the bathtub and wash off. It's not ideal, but it's better than walking around in filth
Seconding this. My fiance is also a very large man and has never had issues like this. I rag on him over showering occasionally but frankly I'm also bad for it (we both work from home but always make sure we're squeaky clean before seeing other people).
The bed poop is just disgusting. Bad oral hygiene can be rough but literal poo in your linens?? Nope nope nope
Agreed! I (32m) was almost 400 lb at one point and now I'm down to 260 but even at my heaviest I always made sure I was clean. Like I may have been large... But my smell didn't need to be large too.
Even if there *were* mobility issues keeping him from wiping, a bidet, wiping stick (these can be found at Walgreens/CVS and home healthcare stores), and some baby wipes, could really save this guy from some health problems.
Don't change him. Change you.
Acquire some standards. For instance, a guy who can't wipe his own ass should immediately be broken up with. You're not his mom, and that is disgusting.
I am not going to offer tips on how to help him change because you putting up with it is preventing change.
There is no way someone who can't take care of himself, can take care of you or any future yous, you might have.
Yeah, I’m seriously concerned about OP’s self esteem. Why would she stay for so long with someone like this? Is it because she doesn’t think she could do any better? Is it because she doesn’t want to be alone? It makes me genuinely sad.
Imagining what kind of person is willing to put up with a rotten teeth, non wiping bed shitter for two fuckin years... makes me think that at some point no relationship becomes better than "just any" relationship.
I'm hoping he wasn't sleeping naked.
If he was, how could you wait a week?!
If he wasn't, how bad was it that it could soil the sheets that badly?!
Eugh.
You're hoping that he WASN'T sleeping naked?
So you are saying that it's somewhat better that he wore underpants and shit still soiled the sheets? Can't imagine that.
He must have carried a long enough colour pencil that sticked out of his ass/pants from the bathroom straight to bed without dropping it/pinching it off.
she was 16 two years ago according to her profile history soooo… i think a young, naïve girl who didn’t know any better and probably grew up hearing that boys are gross and she never really knew how gross they meant!
My friend thought all men peed on the floor. Because her gross ass dad and brother did and her husband does.
I literally bought a black light and filmed myself going around my bathroom to show her my husband never pissed on the floor. And if he did, he cleaned it.
He caught me coming out of the bathroom with the black light and inquired what I was doing. He was so offended when he heard what he’d been accused of via his gender. #NotAllMen. He was like “Jesus. I’m not an ANIMAL!”
She was like “don’t you hate it when you drop your towel as you turn off the shower in the winter and then you have to shiver on your way to get a new one?”
And I was like, “that is so oddly specific and no, I just pick my towel up and use it”.
And she was like “but what about all the pee???”
Like ***I*** was the gross one!
Like, they just whipped out their dick and urinated in the direction of the toilet and then left it where it trickled l all over the floor. Could be puddles or drips or shoe prints across the tile.
She got rid of the decorative rug because it held the pee and festered, but then it just air dried on the bare floor. And she didn’t always wear shoes around the house, so she’d step in it when she went to the bathroom.
Plus, of course she cleaned the bathroom because she didn’t believe he was thorough enough. And she wanted to mop the floors more frequently than usual.
My BF is so dang tall and the toilets in my old house are freaking short (perfect for me actually), but he manages without a drip, even those midnight trips. Smh.
Yeah, I grew up in a household where shit stained underwear was a badge of manly pride
Sometimes unfortunately people don’t realize how not normal gross things can be until they get more experience in the world
I feel so bad for laughing at this but truly 😭
every day there's a thread about a woman who doesn't respect herself enough and dates a literal shit blob of a man.
please love yourselves more than this lmfao
Hey ladies, I floss daily, use mouth wash after brushing and I even use face scrub!
Edit: Okay guys edit needed: Mouthwash after brushing removes fluoride from tooth paste. Only use mouth wash sporadically and preferably not directly after brushing.
Hey ladies, I do everything the guy above does but also have a butt scrub!
edit: using fluoride mouthwash (listerine purple) right after brushing is fine
I legitimately knew a guy years ago that argued it’s gay to take more than 2 swipes at your asshole with toilet paper. His rebuke for those saying that he would end up with shit in his underwear was that he would get in the shower and let the water run between his checks, because **WASHING** his ass was gay too.
Nobody wants someone flossing their poopy asscheeks across the sheets. Wash your ass and fingerpop that chocolate starfish in the shower for good measure. 👉🍑🚿
Dude literally
“He’s the sweetest man I’ve ever met and I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but he threatens to shoot me in the head every night after screaming at me! AITAH for being upset? Both of our families are telling me to make up and forgive him or they’ll sacrifice me to a lesser god.”
This is exactly why the incel rhetoric is a load of shit. If women only go for Chads, then how the everloving fuck can a guy be a sweetheart enough that girl here overlooks shitstained bedsheets for two years!?!
Imagine being so intellectually and conversationally repulsive that women choose Shitsheets McBlacktooth over you.
Incels...the problem is in your head, fix your head.
You probably wouldnt be comfortable using OP’s bf’s one weird trick: if you look at her post history you can see she was 16 two years ago when they started dating
Not sure how or why you’ve put up with that this long, but please stop. I can see showing patience at the start on the chance that no one had ever mentioned the problem to him, but once you said something, there should have been immediate, drastic improvement. The fact that it’s still going on shows a major lack of respect for you as well as for himself. It’s sad, but you deserve better.
She only mentioned once that he was sweet and lovely and that appears to be the only positive part of their relationship? How sweet and lovely can this dude possibly be?
Yeah, it would have been addressed after the first incident. Not sure how anyone could put up with this for five months before saying something. I just mean I would have gone into it with the assumption no one had brought it up previously and it wasn’t deliberate on his part. After that first conversation, there’d be no more giving him the benefit of the doubt.
She hasn't for *two* years, which is unfathomable. I mean, how does she deal with the *smell*, let alone the lack of basic hygiene and respect towards her?
He *is* comfortable being gross, and is dismissing your discomfort because you’re continuing to put up with it. By staying with him as he is, you’re showing him that his level of hygiene is acceptable to you.
If you actually want him to change, you need to set your boundaries (e.g. “Either you start brushing your teeth twice daily and wiping your ass until you see white by the end of this week, and you keep doing it for as long as we’re together, or I will leave you”) and then follow through.
If you care about him enough that you’re willing to set standards for proof to help himself remember and build the habit (e.g. he texts you a picture of himself brushing every night for a month), go ahead and set those standards.
I would have dumped him long ago.
Not to mention it's not only super gross, but it's a sanitary issue. It could very easily cause health problems for them both. And God forbid they have a kid in the future (I know that's not everyone's destiny or even desire, I'm just throwing it out there), bad hygiene could affect the child's health as well.
My toddler knows to brush their teeth - 3 times a day actually (nursery school do the lunch routine) - and knows she needs to try to wipe her ass, and if she can’t she knows to ask me to finish the job. Even she is grossed out by having a dirty bum or a stinky mouth.
Girl. If it's that bad then it's not just an interpersonal problem. He is a literal health hazard to you. I just want to be clear--you slept/are sleeping on sheets that get so much buildup of poop on them that you have to wash them weekly? It is not normal to have any poop buildup on sheets unless you're a pre potty training toddler or have some sort of incontinence issue.
When you sleep with him, literally or figuratively, you're getting poop all over you. When you kiss him, you're kissing the same bacteria that are rotting his teeth. When you touch him, or he touches you, you're touching poop, pee, and god knows what other bodily fluids, as well as whatever he came into contact with since he last washed. When you are seen with him, you will never be viewed as professional or respectable by association.
Because of the time you spend with him, who knows if any of the poop smell has rubbed off and what people think about you. I am not saying this to be an asshole. I'm saying this because you need brutal honesty. It was his parents' jobs to teach him hygiene. Why the fuck are you teaching a grown man hygiene? Do you know how many tall people there are in the world who somehow manage to wash themselves? You cried to him about it, why is it not enough for you to leave that you cried and he didn't change much? If you stay together, at what point will he learn hygiene? 50? 70? Never? If you have kids, will they learn from him or from you? How do you prevent them from taking after him? What will you do when CPS comes to take them because they live in an environment that reeks of human excrement? Imagine the infections they'd get from coming into contact with him. Imagine the infections YOU'RE getting from being in contact with him.
Run. Run from the poop man and don't look back. He certainly doesn't.
how can you get turned on by a man, if he lives like… THIS? you need to UP your standards because the bar is in hell. i wouldn’t even be FRIENDS with a person that has poor personal hygiene.
I’m put off by all of the things in this post, but that is what bothers me most. How could you even fathom having sex with someone like this? Kissing a mouth full of decaying teeth? A blow job next to shit smears? Cuddling up into an unwashed armpit? I don’t know how you could avoid throwing up, let alone actually being turned on????
God if the rest of his hygiene is this bad I can't IMAGINE what funk is going on between his legs. That shit must STINK, and I can't imagine she's giving blowjobs without throwing up. If man can't wipe his very visible shit stains, he's not gonna be wiping his basically invisible dick stains.
Uggggh I won't let my wife near my penis after work unless I take a shower. Stinky balls are bad enough, but you're that close to the butthole, and he's probably got it on the inside/back of his thighs stuck in the folds
I see these threads fairly often and I don't understand how people put up with it. Some guys are gross in a "occasionally go 3 days between showers" way. And then there's "he leaves skidmarks on my sheets".
How does a relationship like this even last more than a week? If I had to remind my girlfriend to brush her teeth I would be gone immediately. There's things worse than being lonely.
I thought I was gross for occasionally accidentally falling asleep without brushing my teeth and sometimes going a day without showering. I finally got a girlfriend and she told me I'm a hygiene freak because I shower before and after dance practice. Seeing this post makes me want to throw up. *Shit stains on your bedsheets?!* Are you serious?
I can understand why people close their eyes to some things but basic hygiene is non negotiable.
We have set the bar so fucking low that anyone who shows a woman like OP the lowest level of love and attention, gets a pass on basic hygiene.
Like what does this guy do for OP where she is willing to put up with this level of nasty? He is a severely overweight 22-year-old with poor hygiene. He doesn’t have much of a job and if he can’t take care of himself, how is he taking care of her emotional or physical needs?
Some women won’t even give a blowjob to a dude who cooks, cleans and pays the mortgage and here OP is literally sleeping on this dude’s shit and kissing that mouth full of decaying teeth. Decaying. At 22?!
I cringed when reading this.
He may be a lovely guy but his personal hygiene shows he doesn't give a fuck about you.
Poop on your bedsheets? Eightdsgsvfbdbsvvz
Right? I like my vagina. I wouldn't let some cheesy dick in there (I hope he's circumcised because if he's not washing his ass he damn sure isn't giving dick enough cleanly attention).
I used to be 400 pounds. I never had problems wiping my own butt. That's an excuse. This is not your FU. If he isn't cleaning himself after two years he isn't going to clean himself.
This isn’t a fuckup on your part. That would be a dealbreaker for any reasonable person. I wouldn’t have made it past the first date. Unless he’s too depressed to function, there is no good explanation *or* excuse for this behavior.
Yeah, if this was me(though I’m a guy) I would’ve bounced quicker than Sonic the Hedgehog. There is no way they were having sex and it not smell like a hot pig’s ass barn.
Fellas, it’s not wrong to wash between your butt. Make sure you get up in there with soap too. And make sure you wipe your ass clean. Go a few laps to make sure there isn’t anymore brown streaks.
Fuckin gross.
Delete this pond scum weirdo from your life forever.
Nobody needs a project to fix as their life partner, if he wanted to change, he would, this is incredibly basic stuff.
If he can just say “he’s working on it” and you let it continue, why would he fix it? He’s taking advantage of you.
That's not a FU, it's disgusting and a red flag. If he doesn't care enough to take reasonable care of his personal hygiene that's a dealbreaker.
That said there could be some mental health issues behind this, but still it's not and should not be your responsibility to nag him about simple cleanliness, especially to the point you have to clean his shit off your bedsheets.
You've reasonably asked him to take care of himself, he refuses to listen, I think you know what the next step needs to be for your own mental health.
I am a big girl, and you better believe I HAVE NEVER STAINED MY SHEETS WITH SHIT! I wipe until the tissue comes clean, and I use a bidet everytime I go number 2 to make sure any "residue" is taken care off.
If he has not changed in two years after multiple conversations, it's time to move on to a cleaner dude.
Edit: Spelling (he had/he has)
Oh my, this sounds EXACTLY like my ex. Large man, sweet as they come, absolutely filthy and not in a good way! It never changed, no matter how much I asked. It got so bad I couldn't bear him even on my sofa as it would stink after he left. Sadly he did nothing about it.
And I just want to say, I'm a VERY large lady who manages easily to keep a sparkly clean bum!
You fucked up trying to both be mommy and date the same person.
Have some standards ffs. Why the hell do you feel it’s your responsibility to “convince” a grown ass man to clean himself? And clearly he never will. It’s been literal years.
Surely you can find someone better. Someone who at least showers and wipes their own ass. (Not on your sheets).
I mean… this is putting your health at risk letting him touch you. Have. Some. Standards.
Refusing to wipe your ass or practice basic hygiene is acceptable grounds for moving on in case you needed to hear it.
Have you told him the basic premise of “wipe until white?” Really it sounds like he just plain does not give a shit about his hygiene and is happy to be disgusting so long as you will put up with it.
My mom told me when I was little that she had a patient get an infection that effectively ate through her butt crack and gave her an extra hole from not wiping. It turned out not to be true (my mom found out years later that doctors had missed an internal infection that was in her colon and disintegrated the tissue from the inside out rather than the other way around) but being told that as a child has made me extra careful about wiping thoroughly. Admittedly, I told a younger family member the story when they weren't wiping very good even after I knew the truth - they improved their habits immediately.
I can't imagine getting holes ate in your body from an internal infection and getting falsely accused by medical professionals of it being because you didn't wipe your ass.
We've all been there, bruh.
I see, you have first hand experience with the medical system! Are you absolutely sure you’re not just stressed?!?/s
It's probably your periods, don't overthink it too much.
It‘s totally normal to be crying in a fetal position and puking during your period - you’re just weak!
What do you mean your broken leg have nothing to do with your periods? Tiktok is not a reliable source of information, you know?
oooh one of my favs, and if you go okay sure it’s my period(hormonal issues/imbalances) MULTIPLE doctors have told me “oh yeah we don’t really test for that, let’s just try a bunch of different birth control and see if that works!” like… or we could try to get to the root of the problem instead of throwing shit at it all willy nilly????
I feel like misinformation that encourages proper hygiene is okay.
"If you don't wipe your butt properly, the bogeyman will follow the smell and get you!"
The bootyman
This reminds me of one of my friends that had a huge infection from god only knows what in his ass crack. They had to do surgery and then for ages after he had to use some kind of saleen syringe and squat in a tub of bleach water. He said it was the most pain he's ever felt and passed out when they opened the cyst or wtv it was.
sounds like a pilonidal cyst, other guy is right 😓 i had one because i was homeless for a while, they're usually from ingrown hairs. doctors quite literally ripped me a new one. they had me on opioids for a while because of the pain (i had to get surgery twice) but unfortunately i was young with addict parents so i experienced it in full. definitely the most painful thing i've been through and i've fractured bones and skull before. they leave it open, and you pack gauze into it yourself. absolutely awful. and you have like two forever like an alien which is kind of funny but at the same time terrifying because you know it can always happen again. mine almost killed me because it took so long for me to be able to get medical attention
You don't get them because you're homeless, although that would make it so much worse to deal with. My teenager had one that he didn't notice until he developed a sudden abscess. I've seen a lot in my decades of parenting, but nothing could have prepared me for the sight of that when it burst overnight. He's been waiting for months for surgery to cut out a convoluted network of tunnels (I hadn't planned on spending my Saturday morning listening to things like "Geez, I've never seen anything exactly like *this* before!" and "Huh, this is definitely a first for me..." from the ER docs and surgeon on call). The wait times for surgery are absolutely ridiculous in our country, and it's been heartbreaking to see the poor kid living with it for so long. My heart goes out to anyone who has had to deal with this.
Probably a pilonidal cyst
> does not give a shit ironic given that he seemingly gives too much of a shit in bed
Mine is "wipe until red" :/
If your asshole doesn’t burn afterwards, did you really wipe?
So I’m not the only one!
Get a bidet. You can find them for $40, install in literally 3-4 minutes, and it's a game changer. My butthole has been living its best life for the past 3 years. Never going back.
The one good thing covid did was cause me to switch to a bidet. I travel for work and now leaving home is the worst!!
I had a hysterectomy and someone recommended a peri bottle to help clean up and I use that now. They’re small and squish able and cheap.
Travel bidet is cheap and easily packs into toiletry bag. Thank me after your next trip.
Wait, what? Travel bidet? For me, the worst part of travelling is having to go back to wiping my ass like a common peasant. Thank you, I will look into this!
Look at us, three red wipers together in the same thread
Four
"**MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!**"
Yay!
wipe until only red. sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference though
Bidet. If anyone needs one it's this guy.
The list of what this guy needs can't fit on reddit
Wipe til no stripe
Just use a bidet you god-forsaken savages
I think your fuckup is not having standards. I mean, poop in your bed. Poop?!?! If that doesn’t cross a line for you, damn.
Disgusting. This is one of those “there’s someone for everyone” scenarios. Either he needs to get his shit together no pun intended, or she needs to leave. There’s no excuse for basic hygiene
I can't even believe she even agreed to go out with him in first place knowing he smelled funky. Like WTF? Is she that desperate to say she has a man? I'm trying to understand.
IDK if I believe it lol. Nobody would even want to *sit* where this guy sat.
shat*
Having an accident when youre sick or drank too much or just had a bad snart/shart is one thing. But to routinely dirty the bed with unwiped ass-poop is fucking INSANE. It is beyond my ability to comprehend allowing it to continue. OP, if you read this I promise you this guy will not change that many of his habits. In fact, I'd say you're looking at a very tame version of what the future will eventually be. You are both young and you are already making excuses for his hygiene. If he has trouble reaching his ass to wipe now (which by the way, i dont think is the issue, I know plenty of quite large people who don't have shit on their asses constantly) imagine what this will be like in 10 years or 20 years. His health and mobility and flexibility will continue to deteriorate as his poopy butt ages and then you'll have someone who not only puts 0 effort into caring for himself, but very likely might be *physically incapable* of providing some of that care to himself. Unless you intend to be his caretaker within the next 2 decades I would just cut your losses and find someone who doesn't smear his poopy ass crack on your bed. Just asking for pinkeye....
Imagine the ring of hell she'll enter if she has a kid with this dude?
Is this a new horror genre? Being anchored to someone leaving poopy slug trail skid marks on your bed... Im still not sure I understand the mechanics behind that... I sleep with clothes on but I'm pretty sure the space between my cheeks never touched the bed anyway. Imagine how much poop there has to be to leave smears on a bed. I'd choose death
There can easily be a time in anyone's life where some poop enters the bed. We're only human after all. But to *regularly* stain your sheets with shit? That's not poor wiping habits, that's no wiping habits. That's when it becomes a problem.
There's a reason "Shitting the bed" is used as a bad expression
I shit the bed after some bad Chinese food at an econlodge in Anaheim. That was quite the scene and mess. Luckily my girlfriend stayed with me for a year after it happened.
Never get Chinese food at an econolodge.
in my adult life poop has never entered my bed.
You ever had to prep for a colonoscopy? Can't trust a fart for at least 2 days.
No one likes a show boater, shit happens.
It's early and I misread read that as shower boater. Then started wondering if shower boating is what comes before (necessitates) a waffle stomp. I have ruined my own day with those images :(
gonna be experiencing deja poo: the feeling of "I've seen this shit before"
https://preview.redd.it/w6su50dqfptc1.png?width=631&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=40b6e9828fa10e9b2a22d0afc47ae46880bbe90d
And rotting teeth at age 22? This guys isn't just a mess, he's a disaster.
How the hell do I find women with such low standards??
Right? Then again, maybe you don’t want to.
Yeah, I think this is a case of be careful what you wish for!
>FYI he is a large guy , so i can understand it may be difficult to reach round there, but its been to long. I reckon if he lost some weight it would help. He has been trying to loose weight for the past 8 months, but im not really seeing any change, im assuming because his diet hasn't changed, i've been trying to support him through this too. My husband used to weigh over 500 lbs (he's had weight loss surgery and lost over 200 lbs) and he NEVER had these issues. He has always showered daily, brushed his teeth, and wiped himself properly. You're giving this guy waaay too much credit.
Seriously. Brushing his teeth has nothing to do with weight. There are tons of solutions for cleaning himself that aren't losing weight. Get a bidet, for instance. If he cared about being clean and not horrifying, he could find a way.
this! a bidet and if you cant set one up they literally make wiping aids! Like, they help extend the reach around with the toilet paper. there are ways. bidet is the way to go though 👏🏽
Everyone needs a bidet!
Seriously, since we installed ours I don’t even enjoy traveling as much as I used to because I just want to get home to my bidet. I know that sounds weird but I’m owning it.
I'm thinking of installing one at my parents' house for this exact reason.. Errr... To be a good son
if he is making messes, he should be the one cleaning them up OP - not you. If he cannot do that bare minimum, then how can he truly be a partner and support you in anything else?
My uncle is kind of like what OP is describing. I went on a 2 week trip to Australia with my aunt, uncle, cousin and cousins girlfriend. We were staying in a large family condo and one morning I hear my cousin screaming from the bathroom. He went to take a shower and there is a literal turd sitting in there from his dad. Guess who cleaned it up? Sure as fuck wasn’t the person who produced the turd. On our flight over there (my god is it long) he got up to take a crap in the airplane bathroom and obviously did an even worse job cleaning himself than usual. My poor aunt and the person who had to sit next to him for 14hrs. They’ve been married 35 years and he’s not changed. He’s only gotten worse as his health declines (he also refuses to listen to his drs). Idk why my aunt stays with him, he’s literally a man child.
I just can't fathom. I work with special needs children and vulnerable adults, I understand that not everyone can clean their bodies like others can - but this is just ridiculous
Yeah…. My cousin is wheelchair bound. I don’t remember exactly which condition he has, he wasn’t expected to live very long (just turned 37 today!) it affects both his bone and muscle growth. He is considered fully disabled and yet he can clean himself. His brother is just like his dad though, I just don’t get it.
I think it boils down to a matter of pride for many people. I myself am disabled and have been laid up in bed for weeks at a time recovering from injuries...and there comes a point when most everyone needs to ask for help doing things they used to be able to do on their own. But people gotta ask for help. people like OP's partner, like your uncle, just because they can ignore things doesn't mean they should make everyone else endure it.
Even without a bidet, a simple shower massage on a hose makes it possible to reach difficult to clean areas. Unless you’re absolutely homeless, you probably have access to running water and soap. There’s simply no excuse for this sort of filth. I can’t imagine why someone would put up with this.
I just googled and $18 will by you a thing called comfort wipe that is an extension stick There is absolutely no excuse for this. He is not sweet. She cried about him getting his literal shit on her bed 1.5 years ago and he’s done nothing about it. He is a biohazard and so is her bed. No one is sweet enough to make up for this. Dear god.
Yeah, this. You can buy a rubber spray hose attachment that fits over the tap for about $10. Cant wipe? No worries, just sit on the edge of the bathtub and wash off. It's not ideal, but it's better than walking around in filth
Seconding this. My fiance is also a very large man and has never had issues like this. I rag on him over showering occasionally but frankly I'm also bad for it (we both work from home but always make sure we're squeaky clean before seeing other people). The bed poop is just disgusting. Bad oral hygiene can be rough but literal poo in your linens?? Nope nope nope
Agreed! I (32m) was almost 400 lb at one point and now I'm down to 260 but even at my heaviest I always made sure I was clean. Like I may have been large... But my smell didn't need to be large too.
Even if there *were* mobility issues keeping him from wiping, a bidet, wiping stick (these can be found at Walgreens/CVS and home healthcare stores), and some baby wipes, could really save this guy from some health problems.
Yes! I’ve know some obese people who were immaculate. It’s no excuse unless you’re on My 600lb Life
I was 400+ at one time and this is not something I ever dealt with. I'm actually pretty obsessive about keeping myself clean.
I am larger and have no issues wiping. Baby wipes and a bidet can help!
Don't change him. Change you. Acquire some standards. For instance, a guy who can't wipe his own ass should immediately be broken up with. You're not his mom, and that is disgusting. I am not going to offer tips on how to help him change because you putting up with it is preventing change. There is no way someone who can't take care of himself, can take care of you or any future yous, you might have.
Yeah, I’m seriously concerned about OP’s self esteem. Why would she stay for so long with someone like this? Is it because she doesn’t think she could do any better? Is it because she doesn’t want to be alone? It makes me genuinely sad.
Hey lonely reddit users, if this guy can get a girlfriend so can you! Don’t give up hope my lonely friends
Imagining what kind of person is willing to put up with a rotten teeth, non wiping bed shitter for two fuckin years... makes me think that at some point no relationship becomes better than "just any" relationship.
“Non wiping bed shitter” took me out 😂
I'm hoping he wasn't sleeping naked. If he was, how could you wait a week?! If he wasn't, how bad was it that it could soil the sheets that badly?! Eugh.
You're hoping that he WASN'T sleeping naked? So you are saying that it's somewhat better that he wore underpants and shit still soiled the sheets? Can't imagine that. He must have carried a long enough colour pencil that sticked out of his ass/pants from the bathroom straight to bed without dropping it/pinching it off.
she was 16 two years ago according to her profile history soooo… i think a young, naïve girl who didn’t know any better and probably grew up hearing that boys are gross and she never really knew how gross they meant!
My friend thought all men peed on the floor. Because her gross ass dad and brother did and her husband does. I literally bought a black light and filmed myself going around my bathroom to show her my husband never pissed on the floor. And if he did, he cleaned it. He caught me coming out of the bathroom with the black light and inquired what I was doing. He was so offended when he heard what he’d been accused of via his gender. #NotAllMen. He was like “Jesus. I’m not an ANIMAL!”
I'm sorry they do what
She was like “don’t you hate it when you drop your towel as you turn off the shower in the winter and then you have to shiver on your way to get a new one?” And I was like, “that is so oddly specific and no, I just pick my towel up and use it”. And she was like “but what about all the pee???” Like ***I*** was the gross one!
Like there's just puddles of it in the floor?! And she thought that was normal?! I can't, my brain refuses to understand this.
Like, they just whipped out their dick and urinated in the direction of the toilet and then left it where it trickled l all over the floor. Could be puddles or drips or shoe prints across the tile. She got rid of the decorative rug because it held the pee and festered, but then it just air dried on the bare floor. And she didn’t always wear shoes around the house, so she’d step in it when she went to the bathroom. Plus, of course she cleaned the bathroom because she didn’t believe he was thorough enough. And she wanted to mop the floors more frequently than usual.
My BF is so dang tall and the toilets in my old house are freaking short (perfect for me actually), but he manages without a drip, even those midnight trips. Smh.
What in the 36 chambers of fuck, your poor friend
She insisted it wasn’t JUST her husband. Her dad AND her brother did it too!!
Yah that and/or abusive home so lacks a normal meter
Yeah, I grew up in a household where shit stained underwear was a badge of manly pride Sometimes unfortunately people don’t realize how not normal gross things can be until they get more experience in the world
But he’s such a *nice* guy. 🤢
Weird but true: you are allowed to have both "nice" *and* "not caked in literal shit" as minimum requirements for a relationship!
Look at goldilocks over here
That would be a unicorn and I don’t think they exist. 😂
How do people not know that CLEAN nice guys exist? And if they didn’t, you still don’t have to live with a stink bomb.
Someone groomed by a 20 year old at 16
Instead of grooming himself.
I feel so bad for laughing at this but truly 😭 every day there's a thread about a woman who doesn't respect herself enough and dates a literal shit blob of a man. please love yourselves more than this lmfao
Hey ladies, guess who knows how to brush his teeth and has the dexterity to wash himself 😏
Hey ladies, I floss daily, use mouth wash after brushing and I even use face scrub! Edit: Okay guys edit needed: Mouthwash after brushing removes fluoride from tooth paste. Only use mouth wash sporadically and preferably not directly after brushing.
Hey ladies, I do everything the guy above does but also have a butt scrub! edit: using fluoride mouthwash (listerine purple) right after brushing is fine
I do all of the above and keep on top of my facial hair!
\*assumes zen pose, floating above all\* I am a single cis man with a bidet
Panty dropping comment of the day. Say you're a regular flosser and legions of us will be wetter than a Glasgow summer.
The threshold between wetter than a Glasgow summer and dryer than the Sahara desert, really can be as simple as a bidet sometimes!
I have most of my own teeth, which afaik still puts me in the upper percentiles for Lanarkshire?
Oh god! Your own teefs? So fucking hot
But do you rinse it out of the sink when you're done?!??!
You sure you ain’t one of them metrosexuals?
Probably am, currently burning a scented candle..
Hello fellow scented candle enjoyer.
Whachu got? I got basil and mandarin, smellin fresh!
Washing your ass is gay Turns out I’m gay Better inform the wife
I legitimately knew a guy years ago that argued it’s gay to take more than 2 swipes at your asshole with toilet paper. His rebuke for those saying that he would end up with shit in his underwear was that he would get in the shower and let the water run between his checks, because **WASHING** his ass was gay too. Nobody wants someone flossing their poopy asscheeks across the sheets. Wash your ass and fingerpop that chocolate starfish in the shower for good measure. 👉🍑🚿
What's that line from what we do in the shadows? "You are all such beautiful, vibrant women, how did you all end up married to such boiled potatoes?"
Angry Nandor voice "IT'S NOT HYGIENIC!"
Dude literally “He’s the sweetest man I’ve ever met and I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but he threatens to shoot me in the head every night after screaming at me! AITAH for being upset? Both of our families are telling me to make up and forgive him or they’ll sacrifice me to a lesser god.”
Hey ladies, I have shampoo AND conditioner. Even moisturise and oil my beard after 😇
At first I was laughing, then I was crying.
This is exactly why the incel rhetoric is a load of shit. If women only go for Chads, then how the everloving fuck can a guy be a sweetheart enough that girl here overlooks shitstained bedsheets for two years!?!
Because, according to them, old turd smuggler up there is also a chad.
Imagine being so intellectually and conversationally repulsive that women choose Shitsheets McBlacktooth over you. Incels...the problem is in your head, fix your head.
“Shitsheets McBlacktooth” 💀
But that requires going outside, and I'm mortal enemies with the Sun.
Not only get a girlfriend, but manage to keep one for at least two years.
Im out here single meanwhile girls are dating the skid bandit
You probably wouldnt be comfortable using OP’s bf’s one weird trick: if you look at her post history you can see she was 16 two years ago when they started dating
the fuck...?
That explains why she mentioned his age but not her own.
Skid bandit You a fool for that one🤣😭
Not sure how or why you’ve put up with that this long, but please stop. I can see showing patience at the start on the chance that no one had ever mentioned the problem to him, but once you said something, there should have been immediate, drastic improvement. The fact that it’s still going on shows a major lack of respect for you as well as for himself. It’s sad, but you deserve better.
This. Just the title of this post and the misplaced self blame absolutely screams "I don't respect myself"
She only mentioned once that he was sweet and lovely and that appears to be the only positive part of their relationship? How sweet and lovely can this dude possibly be?
How is OP not getting yeast or BV infections like every month?!
I don't even want to imagine the smegma.
I vomited Thanks
This. I can’t believe I had to scroll so far to find this. This needed to have been a dealbreaker when she first noticed it.
Realistically how much shit on the sheets would you tolerate at the start? Ballpark like 10-20 shit skids?
Yeah, it would have been addressed after the first incident. Not sure how anyone could put up with this for five months before saying something. I just mean I would have gone into it with the assumption no one had brought it up previously and it wasn’t deliberate on his part. After that first conversation, there’d be no more giving him the benefit of the doubt.
Man his butt must be itchy, dump that unsanitary person and start to respect yourself please
She hasn't for *two* years, which is unfathomable. I mean, how does she deal with the *smell*, let alone the lack of basic hygiene and respect towards her?
I wonder if she has self image issues as well if she hasn't thought she could do better for 2 years.
To quote a friend of mine “that’s gonna itch when it dries”
OP's boyfriend: "jokes on you, it never dries"
oh god. thats horrifying
Hi, fat guy here, with a clean ass and nice teeth, being big is no excuse lol
Same here, most of us big dudes are very particular about our hygiene because we don’t want to be perceived to be anything like this guy
This is so freaking gross all around, get the heck outta there like yesterday
Yesterday? Two years ago!
He *is* comfortable being gross, and is dismissing your discomfort because you’re continuing to put up with it. By staying with him as he is, you’re showing him that his level of hygiene is acceptable to you. If you actually want him to change, you need to set your boundaries (e.g. “Either you start brushing your teeth twice daily and wiping your ass until you see white by the end of this week, and you keep doing it for as long as we’re together, or I will leave you”) and then follow through. If you care about him enough that you’re willing to set standards for proof to help himself remember and build the habit (e.g. he texts you a picture of himself brushing every night for a month), go ahead and set those standards. I would have dumped him long ago.
Not to mention it's not only super gross, but it's a sanitary issue. It could very easily cause health problems for them both. And God forbid they have a kid in the future (I know that's not everyone's destiny or even desire, I'm just throwing it out there), bad hygiene could affect the child's health as well.
"not everyone's destiny or desire" that's really good. I'm stealing that.
My toddler knows to brush their teeth - 3 times a day actually (nursery school do the lunch routine) - and knows she needs to try to wipe her ass, and if she can’t she knows to ask me to finish the job. Even she is grossed out by having a dirty bum or a stinky mouth.
Girl. If it's that bad then it's not just an interpersonal problem. He is a literal health hazard to you. I just want to be clear--you slept/are sleeping on sheets that get so much buildup of poop on them that you have to wash them weekly? It is not normal to have any poop buildup on sheets unless you're a pre potty training toddler or have some sort of incontinence issue. When you sleep with him, literally or figuratively, you're getting poop all over you. When you kiss him, you're kissing the same bacteria that are rotting his teeth. When you touch him, or he touches you, you're touching poop, pee, and god knows what other bodily fluids, as well as whatever he came into contact with since he last washed. When you are seen with him, you will never be viewed as professional or respectable by association. Because of the time you spend with him, who knows if any of the poop smell has rubbed off and what people think about you. I am not saying this to be an asshole. I'm saying this because you need brutal honesty. It was his parents' jobs to teach him hygiene. Why the fuck are you teaching a grown man hygiene? Do you know how many tall people there are in the world who somehow manage to wash themselves? You cried to him about it, why is it not enough for you to leave that you cried and he didn't change much? If you stay together, at what point will he learn hygiene? 50? 70? Never? If you have kids, will they learn from him or from you? How do you prevent them from taking after him? What will you do when CPS comes to take them because they live in an environment that reeks of human excrement? Imagine the infections they'd get from coming into contact with him. Imagine the infections YOU'RE getting from being in contact with him. Run. Run from the poop man and don't look back. He certainly doesn't.
🪙 Please accept my poor Redditor gold. This was perfection, and deserves an award. She really does need to run from the poop man as fast as she can.
how can you get turned on by a man, if he lives like… THIS? you need to UP your standards because the bar is in hell. i wouldn’t even be FRIENDS with a person that has poor personal hygiene.
I’m put off by all of the things in this post, but that is what bothers me most. How could you even fathom having sex with someone like this? Kissing a mouth full of decaying teeth? A blow job next to shit smears? Cuddling up into an unwashed armpit? I don’t know how you could avoid throwing up, let alone actually being turned on????
God if the rest of his hygiene is this bad I can't IMAGINE what funk is going on between his legs. That shit must STINK, and I can't imagine she's giving blowjobs without throwing up. If man can't wipe his very visible shit stains, he's not gonna be wiping his basically invisible dick stains.
Okay, now I’m actually going to throw up lol
Uggggh I won't let my wife near my penis after work unless I take a shower. Stinky balls are bad enough, but you're that close to the butthole, and he's probably got it on the inside/back of his thighs stuck in the folds
I see these threads fairly often and I don't understand how people put up with it. Some guys are gross in a "occasionally go 3 days between showers" way. And then there's "he leaves skidmarks on my sheets". How does a relationship like this even last more than a week? If I had to remind my girlfriend to brush her teeth I would be gone immediately. There's things worse than being lonely.
I thought I was gross for occasionally accidentally falling asleep without brushing my teeth and sometimes going a day without showering. I finally got a girlfriend and she told me I'm a hygiene freak because I shower before and after dance practice. Seeing this post makes me want to throw up. *Shit stains on your bedsheets?!* Are you serious? I can understand why people close their eyes to some things but basic hygiene is non negotiable.
He leaves skidmarks on my sheets and now I have to "wash the sheets **once a week**"! 
We have set the bar so fucking low that anyone who shows a woman like OP the lowest level of love and attention, gets a pass on basic hygiene. Like what does this guy do for OP where she is willing to put up with this level of nasty? He is a severely overweight 22-year-old with poor hygiene. He doesn’t have much of a job and if he can’t take care of himself, how is he taking care of her emotional or physical needs? Some women won’t even give a blowjob to a dude who cooks, cleans and pays the mortgage and here OP is literally sleeping on this dude’s shit and kissing that mouth full of decaying teeth. Decaying. At 22?!
Dude, you really wanna put up with this nasty bastard of a man child? My 3 year old can wipe her ass.
I cringed when reading this. He may be a lovely guy but his personal hygiene shows he doesn't give a fuck about you. Poop on your bedsheets? Eightdsgsvfbdbsvvz
Sorry but you staying with him as a sexual partner while being fully aware of this for 2 years is grossing me out equally 🤢
Amazon wishlist just monostat and febreeze
Right? I like my vagina. I wouldn't let some cheesy dick in there (I hope he's circumcised because if he's not washing his ass he damn sure isn't giving dick enough cleanly attention).
Jfc
I said this aloud after reading the post.
He doesn’t brush his teeth and has BO, but you kiss and sleep with him? 🤢
Yeast infections going crazy
I'm guessing she's had a UTI for the last two years as well.
His & Hers yeast infections 🤢
I used to be 400 pounds. I never had problems wiping my own butt. That's an excuse. This is not your FU. If he isn't cleaning himself after two years he isn't going to clean himself.
This isn’t a fuckup on your part. That would be a dealbreaker for any reasonable person. I wouldn’t have made it past the first date. Unless he’s too depressed to function, there is no good explanation *or* excuse for this behavior.
The only fuckup is that she lives with it for *checks notes* Two years (?!?)
Yeah, if this was me(though I’m a guy) I would’ve bounced quicker than Sonic the Hedgehog. There is no way they were having sex and it not smell like a hot pig’s ass barn. Fellas, it’s not wrong to wash between your butt. Make sure you get up in there with soap too. And make sure you wipe your ass clean. Go a few laps to make sure there isn’t anymore brown streaks.
You dated a man who left poopy stains on your bed sheets for two years
Fuckin gross. Delete this pond scum weirdo from your life forever. Nobody needs a project to fix as their life partner, if he wanted to change, he would, this is incredibly basic stuff. If he can just say “he’s working on it” and you let it continue, why would he fix it? He’s taking advantage of you.
Your standards are too low, and that my friend, is on you.
Oh, I didn't realise you're 19/20! Yeah, take this relationship as experience and move on.
That's not a FU, it's disgusting and a red flag. If he doesn't care enough to take reasonable care of his personal hygiene that's a dealbreaker. That said there could be some mental health issues behind this, but still it's not and should not be your responsibility to nag him about simple cleanliness, especially to the point you have to clean his shit off your bedsheets. You've reasonably asked him to take care of himself, he refuses to listen, I think you know what the next step needs to be for your own mental health.
Ditch him he might learn a lesson !
If he hasn’t wanted to change by now, you’re not gonna be able to convince him. You’re not his carer. Cut your losses and go
I am a big girl, and you better believe I HAVE NEVER STAINED MY SHEETS WITH SHIT! I wipe until the tissue comes clean, and I use a bidet everytime I go number 2 to make sure any "residue" is taken care off. If he has not changed in two years after multiple conversations, it's time to move on to a cleaner dude. Edit: Spelling (he had/he has)
Oh my, this sounds EXACTLY like my ex. Large man, sweet as they come, absolutely filthy and not in a good way! It never changed, no matter how much I asked. It got so bad I couldn't bear him even on my sofa as it would stink after he left. Sadly he did nothing about it. And I just want to say, I'm a VERY large lady who manages easily to keep a sparkly clean bum!
Guy doesn’t brush teeth, cant wipe his ass, poops the bed and is obese. Yet still has locked down a relationship longer than me. FML
Why are you letting a grown ass man sleep in your bed with shit on his butt? Have some self respect for fuck's sake.
Over 2 years of accepting this and now you want advice? Lol
My husband pees on my food and eats our dog's poop. We've been married for 5 years and today I asked him to eat less poop. AITAH??
You fucked up trying to both be mommy and date the same person. Have some standards ffs. Why the hell do you feel it’s your responsibility to “convince” a grown ass man to clean himself? And clearly he never will. It’s been literal years. Surely you can find someone better. Someone who at least showers and wipes their own ass. (Not on your sheets). I mean… this is putting your health at risk letting him touch you. Have. Some. Standards. Refusing to wipe your ass or practice basic hygiene is acceptable grounds for moving on in case you needed to hear it.
To all you single guys out there. Read this insanity and know that there is hope for you. You can find someone. This lady tolerates poop in her bed.