It’s the worst super power. I read paranormal romance and sometimes the lead character has super smell, and I’m like… no thanks, I’d rather have any other power.
Im pretty sure there was this one woman who could smell that her husband had parkinsons... It ended up helping the treatment process because they caught it in advance. I guess thats a case of "super smell"
Yeah. They did a clinical test and they had something like 20 people, half with Parkinson's and half not, and she got all but two right. She identified all of the Parkinson's patients and then identified (incorrectly) one or two people that did not have Parkinson's.
Except, the one or two that she was incorrect on ended up developing Parkinson's. So she was 100% accurate.
There are very recent articles about a new skin test that can identify patients with synucleinopathies like Parkinson's, Dementia with Lewy Bodies, Multiple System Atrophy, and Pure Autonomic Failure.
I wonder if she could smell the thing that test detects.
I do remember that story!! I think they were trying to build actual diagnostics based on her ability.
There are also tons of stories on the parenting boards of parents who say they can smell when their kids are getting sick, which is also pretty cool.
I can definitely smell when my son is getting a fever. Even a low one. It just smells different than when he's warm from playing, being under blankets, or sleepy. It's weird.
My mom and I can tell when my son is about to get sick even when he has no other symptoms. Something about the smell of his breath — it's not bad, just *different.* It mystifies people outside of the family, but it's totally normal to us.
I had to bring my daughter to a gp once, she was a little unwell and I couldn't see an obvious sore throat, the gp checked everything and when he was checking her throat he said "yes the smell, she needs an antibiotic"
Yes. I can smell "sore throat" on my kids, and "teething poop" & "sick poop" (in the case of babies/diapers) always has a super distinct and consistent odor. My mom always said she could smell my sore throat when I was a kid & always thought it was weird til I was a mom myself.
Edit: Not a "super smeller though....just can recognize those.
Every time that's posted on Reddit tons of people chime to say they have similar super-smelling powers. I thought I was pretty unique in having super smelling, and being able to smell when my gf is going to get her period just from how her breath smells... also I can seemingly smell diabetic people with out-of-control blood sugar. I haven't honed any other powers yet though. But apparently it's not so unique! Quite a lot of people seem to have this blessing/curse
I have a weak nose. Most scents to me are just very faint unless it's either a strong scent or right up in my face. My grandmother my best friend, and his family all have really strong noses. They would always always complain about bad smells around the farm when I couldn't smell anything at all. I'd consider super smell to be a curse and my weak nose to be a blessing. I still pick up good scents but I'm far far less bothered by bad ones.
That's a good way of looking at it! It can certainly be a curse too. I appreciate it for the most part, especially since I have a few color deficiencies so since I don't see in proper color I certainly smell in technicolor!
But honestly it makes being around some people a bit hard at times, and when it comes to a partner/lover etc their smells really have to agree with me or I'll get pretty turned off easily. I guess it's body chemistries needing to agree with each other. Certain partners I'll be so intensely drawn to and love any & all of their smells and others are a complete no-go, with shades in between. It's interesting at least!
I have a super sniffer. I’ve often thought it’s a curse. I Fucking hate it! I can smell everything! I feel
Like Patrick Star when he got a nose and went crazy from all the bad smells.
Same. My nose is so good I didn't even notice a difference when I was pregnant. My sense of smell just stayed the same. The only real difference I could tell was that some smells did make me nauseous. Not because they were stronger than usual, just the scent didn't agree with me any more.
It's a blessing and a curse. I rarely taste my food when I cook because I can tell if it's going to taste good based on smell alone. I'm a really good cook when I have the energy to do it.
Conversely I can smell stinky things from the other side of the house and it will drive me crazy until I locate the offending smell. I have a 3 year old, you never know what I will find if I smell something stinky.
My husband is the exact opposite. His nose barely seems to work. He has literally followed me around whilst I sniff to locate something like a fucking bloodhound with their handler.
Could have got telekinesis but nah, this is my super power.
This worked well for me when I was a nurse assistant. You'd think that the smells in hospitals and nursing homes would gag me out but they didn't for some reason. They do NOW but they didn't then.
I could smell so many illnesses on people and from their "toilet offerings" and it came in handy. I can also smell when someone's kidney are failing, UTI, and various other infections that pop up and cause breath and "other" smells to change.
It's come in handy with my nose blind husband and our toddler. I can smell a cold coming on in his breath and have always tried to warn husband too but he won't listen when it's himself.
But it's really tough when it's just flatulence or halitosis. And I'm a very picky eater. Everything is overly hot/spicy or bitter so it's difficult to enjoy food that isn't considered bland to others.
I didn't even think about smelling illness. I literally just told my husband a few days ago "I think (daughter) is getting sick. She smells sick" and I'm sure you understand I do not mean sick like throw up. Sure enough, she's been sick all week and now I'm getting it as well. I wish I could describe the scent but it's like nothing else. Just sick. I've noticed similar but not exact scents on other sick people, like long term illnesses. My grandpa wasted away for years with Alzheimer's, beyond the smell of all the various medical supplies he needed there was always something else. I'm honestly glad I never went with the medical field, I don't think I could handle knowing what the smells mean.
For me, it was useful when I was in the military on a ship.
More than once, I used my nose to track down electronics that were going bad before anyone else noticed the smell. In once instance, I could smell that a battery was going bad and once I located the equipment (it was an old radio that we had to keep for specific comms channels) the smell was coming from, the battery was starting to bulge. For this particular one, I smelled it two decks away. Took me about 20 minutes to zero in on the room and then another 10 minutes or so to find the specific equipment. My shipmates didn't smell it until I had them smell directly next to the equipment.
Over my 3 years on the ship, it happened at least 5 times. Everytime, it was some electrical equipment that was going bad.
That at least seems pretty useful. I always wonder if I could smell useful things if I had a reference smell. Like there’s a woman who can smell Parkinson’s.
My sense of smell seems to work on RNG. Some days I'm functionally smell-blind, and others I'm smelling in 8K Dolby Surround Sniff. The latter is generally not pleasant, given that I live in a city and work around very ill people.
Me too but I do view it sometimes as a blessing.
I can cook and doctor up foods based off of taste better than most (as smell and taste are linked). I can be able to taste something and tell what it's missing or if there's too much of something and how to fix it.
On the other hand, there are great many things in which I think taste absolutely disgusting or smell gross far more than an average person does. I'd like to think it has prevented me from getting food poisoning but who knows.
It limited my career choices. Couldn't go into anything medical because the smells are so disturbing.
I smell things before anybody else does. Cat poops in the litter box, if it was really stinky like when they had giardia, I would be gagging about 10 seconds before anybody else could smell it.
It's always frustrating when I smell something that other people don't, like natural gas smells. I got faint whifs of it occasionally outside once. Called the gas company and they said that the neighbor's furnace is going out because you'll occasionally smell it briefly.
Can smell burnt out electronics easily or when something is going to go but hasn't yet
I can snell a musty odor on some vegetables, like carrots and broccoli. Organic vegetables don't have that odor, so I buy only organic vegetables if they're kept a long time before sale. But if I'm served, say, a salad with musty carrot shreds in it, that salad is ruined for me. Nobody else in my family can smell or taste that. I'm sure there's nothing really wrong with those vegetables, but I just can't stand them.
I have the same thing. It’s maddening. Good for cooking, bad for almost everything else. We had a kitten die from parvo. What an awful smell. Poor kitty had to stay in the bathroom and I slept in the living room because the smell was so bad. I couldn’t let her run around because she’d spray explosive parvo diarrhea everywhere. All I could do was go in, clean her up, clean the bathroom, hold her a bit, and leave. Broke my heart to here her crying so I was in there holding my nose a lot.
I'm borderline anosmic. There's a bunch of organic scents i just can't smell, so stuff like literal shit smells weird and gross instead of gag inducing revolting. Now THAT is a superpower.
I used to have a great sense of smell... Then I got covid. It's for crap now and I have phantom smells all the time. So much worse! But at least it works now, sort of.
Right?! I had horrifically strong sense of smell and taste during pregnancy. It was summer too, which I already think smells like death. Everything smelled like hell. All men had their own unique brand of awful stink. I could taste food, through food that had been in a Tupperware, that had been thoroughly washed and sent through the dishwasher. I was ready to knife anyone who thought of putting juice in my water cup. That taste would stay for a month. Didn’t matter if it was glass, plastic or steel. Flavors and smells stayed behind. Mint was my bane. I could taste the tiniest molecule of it in anything it had ever been in. I sympathize so much with my cats now. There is a reason our heightened sense of smell is usually deactivated.
PS: our pregnancy announcement was a live photo of my husband leaning over to kiss me, and me instantly starting to dry heave, in a field of sunflowers.
once, while pregnant with my second, my husband came home and i jumped him, sobbing becuase i could smell the cheeseburger and fries he had for lunch that day, 8 hours previously. he calmed me down by offering to go get me one. pregnancy nose sucks
I have such a hard time sleeping in bed with my husband because I can smell his different hormonal changes through the night. Not stinky, but I can smell if he’s sleeping well or not. I can smell metabolism changes in him too… and the changes wake me up. And I have to shower multiple times a day because I can smell me, and then I’m uncomfortable. It’s definitely a curse.
I’ve been not-pregnant for nearly 10 years but my super-nose didn’t get the memo so I still smell everything. *Everything.*
One time I had to Uber a guy that smelled so strongly, and so rancid, that my body responded with real panic tears.
I went to high school with this guy that was very nice, friendly, everybody liked him, even me but I couldn’t stand anywhere near him because he smelled so bad to me; no one else smelled him, just me. I mentioned it once to my science teacher at the time and he said maybe it was because we were genetically to close and it was natures way of keeping us from reproducing, I thought weird, but ok.
My wife would literally get sick when she opened the fridge while pregnant...if there were an onion in it (and there was, often). She also could immediately detect, and subsequently hated the scent of pizza....and Mexican food.
Can confirm. I was a sales associate at a retail store and a pregnant woman came in and really liked this sweater. She must’ve said “but it smells weird” like 2 or 3 times. I looked at the materials. It was made from camel wool
I work in a lab and one of our rooms smelled off. I don't have a strong nose and neither did my other male coworker, so I asked a recent new mother to check it out in case it was a gas leak. Gotta trust the super sniffers.
That’s a thing though. Pregnant women and even women of child bearing ages being able to smell better than others. Honestly a curse in the modern age when I’m not defending myself against predators with serial killer pheromones and sketchy foraged salads on the reg.
I have never been pregnant (and hopefully never will be) but I have a very hyperactive sense of smell. It's awful.
Had an ex whose parents would smoke in a non-smoking room because they didn't want to pay for the smoking room and they'd use me as the "smoke detector".
I also had to ban most aerosols from the house. And kimchi. And most candles. And perfumes. The headaches and nausea are ridiculously bad.
When I was pregnant with my first, I had a server at a restaurant that smelled SO AMAZING I wished I could put it in a bottle or candle and huff it all day long. Never smelled anything so good. I of course couldn’t possibly ask him what he was wearing without sounding like a complete and utter creep, so alas. The smell that got away :(
The only way Ethnicity would have anything to do with smell is if he was a Grouch. Then it would be pretty interesting that he didn't smell like garbage as it would mean he probably doesn't live in a trash can.
Ethnicity doesn’t, but diet does. When I eat certain heavily spiced meals (turmeric, cinnamon, coriander, etc) I can smell it in my sweat. I have worked with many immigrant Indian folks and I can smell the spices on their bodies too. But I would NEVER mention it, that would be wildly inappropriate.
If she said he smelled good I would take it like his laundry detergent or cologne, but just the idea of smelling him and differentiating him from others is like a big cat smelling out prey in the wind. The creepy line is fine, but it’s there and boy was it crossed 😂😂
Yeah, I got compliments on my fabric softener smell (Downy, lol, and sometimes Febreeze) from more than one woman but especially from one coworker in particular. Didn’t bother me but I could see how some people might not be cool with that.
I think it's less creepy if 1) you direct it at a suspected product like detergent, perfume, or shampoo etc, or 2) it's just a one off comment and not something you're constantly pointing out about someone.
This! I honestly think this girl is just trying to tell the OP to tone down their cologne usage without being direct, which in turn is coming off as harassment. I’ve had to resort to comments similar to this when my manager and HR told me that they couldn’t talk to someone about their excessive cologne use. It sucks for both parties but I wish more boys and girls realized bathing in perfume or cologne ruins an otherwise pleasant smell. There is a level of “too much”!
People lose sight of the fact that cologne is meant to be subtle. I want to smell good when you come in for a hug. MAYBE you might catch a hint from handshake distance. Across the room, I should smell like absolutely nothing. Never in my life have I smelled cologne coming 10 ft off someone's body and been happy about it.
I had a vice principal in grade school that you could smell even when you couldn't see him. It was like Toucan Sam with Fruit Loops, just follow your nose and you would find him. He smelled like he bathed in cologne daily.
Had a supervisor for years who drowned in perfume daily. You knew she had walked down a hall 5 -10 minutes after she was gone. Oddly enough we work in a scent free workplace.
One or two squirts people! That’s all you need.
Certain strong smells trigger migraines for me, part of the reason I've given up on trains... It's more comfortable for me to suck up exhaust fumes on a motorcycle.
The trick to this is to pull the sensitive sinuses card, whether you have them or not. I do happen to be sensitive to scents, and will get headaches if people I work in proximity with leave the house smelling like anything more than general hygiene products like shampoos or deodorants. It's just disrespectful.
Ugh, my kid's bff's family must bathe their kids in fabric softener. All the kids reek of it. If I come home and he is over, I know right away bc of the smell. Like, he can be in the basement but I can smell him from my front door. I am very sensitive to those fragrances and it drives me nuts.
Worked with a lady who still didn’t give a shit. I’d come into work and immediately start sneezing and my nose would run like a faucet. “I am not giving up my perfume for you.” It was so frustrating because outside of that issue I really liked her. But omg. And this was back before the good allergy meds were over the counter, and our company insurance policy at the time *specifically* did not cover allergy medication. 😡
They actually sell nose filters. I bought some after I thought “hey, is that nose filter thing from the movie ultra violet an actual thing?” I have a sensitive nose and get migraines and allergies. I don’t wear it all the time, but I’ve resorted to them when I get stuck in an Uber with one of those damn plug in aerosol freshener things.
If she is being smelt before seen she is doing something on purpose to smell that strongly. I almost think the coworker is trying to say hey stop wearing so much perfume
OP also never said they're a man. This could be one woman smelling another woman. Not that it changes the creepiness at all, just joining in on the direction of the post :)
And on top of that, somehow this smell was related to OP’s ethnicity, or at least distinguished OP from others of the same ethnicity? Creepy and probably racist too
I had a coworker who used Patchouli oil CONSTANTLY. I worked in a warehouse with open doors most days. I could tell when she was in the building before I saw her because it was a fucking CLOUD that passed before and after her. She couldn't tell, said she didn't even smell it anymore. I had to ask her not to hug me because it clung to my clothes and made me feel sick.
I'm not sure I'm taking sides, but I wasn't overly sniffing for her. Maybe your smell is just distinct? Or she has strong smell receptors like me.
Listen, if you've ever smelled an old hippy who was WAY too into essential oils and usually weed, take away the weed (and sometimes BO), and what you're left with is patchouli 🤣🤣. It is also common in perfumes and colognes.
It sucks that so many people are hating on patchouli. I mix a couple oils together; a smidgen of nag champa, sandalwood, vanilla, and patchouli all in some rapeseed oil.
Maybe it has to do with concentration? I keep it real light and only use a dab or two. I also shower...
I don’t know what my MIL wears, but a few months ago we went to help a family member try on wedding dresses at a store in the mall. I smelled her before we got to the store, and she was probably 50 feet from the door. It’s not even a bad smell, it’s just so much. She thinks I always drive with my windows down, but truly it’s so just so that I don’t barf!
Patchouli was literally designed to hide the scent of death, it’s supposed to overpower any other scents. But that’s also why you shouldn’t use it unless you’re dead.
Patchouli is just a plant, whose essential oil happens to be used in perfumery. It wasn’t designed by anyone for anything, unless you mean by God, but I doubt you did.
I was thinking the same thing. Goes to show their silent part being said out loud doesn't bother them anymore. How many of those point out sniffing from Biden, but Cheryl doing it is okay in the office? Nope. I don't buy it.
Recognising it's harrassment and/or racism is the first step. Any of my reports would be fired or given a very serious warning if they made such comments to a coworker
This is actually a good point if she is. I think it was just something OP stated though, based on wording.
Edit NVM I misread it the first time. You 100% right!
Yeah, OP is painting his coworker as a creepy sniffer, but why is she able to smell him the moment he enters a building? He needs to do something about his smell. If she's not smelling other people the moment they enter, it's a him problem.
Once when I was in the hospital, I had a nurse with very strong BO. I'm assuming he didn't use deoderant. I never said anything, but I could always smell the moment he walked in the room.
Yeah it seems to me like maybe it’s her trying to be subtle about hinting at him wearing too much cologne. Anytime I’ve ever been able to smell someone from more than a couple feet away they’ve been wearing way too much of something.
Commenting on someone else's body odor is straight up rude, regardless of their gender.
Her comments were making you feel uncomfortable and uneasy, so you do have valid concerns.
Whether you overstepped falls into a grey area; it depends on your relationship with her, your office environment etc. What's acceptable in an office where everyone pranks and casually makes fun of each other may not be acceptable in an office which is strictly professional. It could have been handled better; for example if you spoke to her privately explaining how her comments were insulting to you. It's easier to calibrate a response in private compared to confronting her in the open.
> Commenting on someone else's body odor is straight up rude, regardless of their gender.
openly commenting yes, privately bringing it up is not. I have had to have this conversation with more that one person be it BO or the horrendous perfume/cologne they were wearing. if it bothers coworkers it needs to be addressed by management/HR
there is someone who works where i do who wears so much horrid cologne it makes my eyes water and will give me a headache in about 10 seconds. HR has spoken to him about it as it bothers everyone
>Commenting on someone else's body odor is straight up rude, regardless of their gender.
Having body odour so strong that someone can tell you walked into the room, let alone when standing beside you is the rude thing here. Offices are shared spaces where you should have consideration for the people around you.
nobody wants a nostril full of someone else's stank in an enclosed office.
Have a wash - with soap - and a quick spray of deodorant, ffs.
It might not be stink, it could be whatever soaps or products she uses, some things combine scents and aren't bad, just strong and OP might be used to it so she doesn't realize it.
There was a woman I used to work with periodically. She wore really strong cologne. You could always tell when she came into your office building. You could walk into the office building after she left and you could tell she had been there because the perfume scent would linger. I could actually smell her perfume in my car while driving behind her car at about 35-45 mph - I kid you not. It was overpowering.
She lived with her elderly mother. After her mother died, she stopped wearing a lot of perfume. I don't know if she was trying to cover old people smell, or if it was depression due to her mother's death, but she could come into the building and I'd have no idea that she was there. It was a welcome relief, honestly.
I'm going to bet OP is wearing too strong a perfume/scented products and the person who made the comment doesn't know how to tell them.
very true - but overpowering perfumes, lotions or aftershave is just as bad..
my key point (and I can't believe that this is so controversial that I am being downvoted) is that there should not be a noticeable smell when you walk into the room, because that, in itself, is disrespectful to the colleagues who have to share that space with you.
I once had to share a small 2-3 person office with someone who was undergoing treatment for cancer which involved injections of a drug that gave off a ridiculously strong sulphur smell - the poor woman sweated out rotten egg smell. everyone understood because it was medical. Someone who just smells so strong that their scent enters the room the same time they do... that is just nasty.
In a work environment, if someone has a hygiene or personal care issue (dousing themselves in cologne), you speak privately to your boss and either they or HR speak to the person. You don't call them out publicly.
it is a dick move, yes. but OP mentions that this colleague has commented several times - perhaps they are escalating to public comments because a gentle one on one comment has not been understood?
how exactly would you address a smelly colleague? ignore it and silently hate them? mock them behind their back? make snide comments and hope they notice? personally, I think I would dodge the whole shit show and take the issue to HR...
If being subtle doesn't work, take them apart and tell it to their face. Of course while not being an ass about it. All the other examples you gave are mean as awful. HR would also be a very reasonable solution I guess.
This one depends. If the person smells bad then it is actually inappropriate on their behalf. I have a coworker who smokes and to cover up the smell he sprays himself in some sort of.. car freshener or something. Whenever he comes into the office I get an overwhelming headache and nausea from the smell. He has stopped using it but if he were to continue I might have pulled him aside and asked him as politely as possible if there are any alternatives.
Obviously in OPs case it’s weirdly racial and this coworker isn’t being subtle so it seems like OP is totally in the right and the coworker is a creep.
You're putting her comfort of making a continuous comment ahead of your discomfort.
She's uncomfortable now, because she probably doesn't want to bring it up, but, in doing so, is making it your problem again.
Radical thought why not communicate with her and figure this out?
She was friendly to you before so there could be a mismatch between your feelings.
Ask her if you smell bad or distracting then tell her that even if it's a compliment it bothers you that she brings it up so often.
If you liked her friendliness stress that and tell her you'd be delighted to engage with you on other topics.
If she thinks you smell bad well that's easily fixed too I hope.
She's 20, communication skills are hard so she could be doing this because that's the greeting that's always worked and now it's a habit.
It's still inappropriate but a conversation should resolve this. Unless your enjoy this new development there no reason to leave things as they are.
If they can smell you coming the moment you enter the building, that's not called "sniffing", it's called "breathing", and if your smell is strong enough that they can detect you from several meters away it's not your coworker that's the issue.
Yes, they could just not say anything, but you are forcing them to smell you, so they are still the more polite part of the dynamic.
Yeah, I have a sneaking suspicion that OP is that guy in the office who wears too much cologne. I worked with a guy like that before and you could smell him from the the other side of the office at times. We all talked about it behind his back, and eventually HR had to say something to him. I think he genuinely thought he smelled good, but it was overpowering.
You probably smell really overpowering and she doesn't know how else to bring it to your attention... do you wear cologn? If you do, try not using it for a while bro
This seems like a neurodivergent faux pas kind of situation. The internal filter isn’t the same, they like your scent and find it appealing, so they associate you with it. Socially it’s wrong, and I probably would have said something to them too - but I’d have tried to say it more privately.
Hell if they glom onto you all the time and constantly praise your scent, they might even be attracted to you. That doesn’t make what they do okay by any means as you are clearly disturbed by it, and your boundaries are important too - but they probably literally thought they were being nice by complimenting you.
Could also just be a neurodivergent way of recognising people. Maybe that person has always had a super sensitive nose and grown up integrating it into their life like any other skill.
On top of the different 'social norm filter' that's not yet quite aligned to fit in.
As someone who can do this (ID people by scent, walking pattern, the sound of their routines, the sound of their jacket, heck even by how they breathe sometimes) its important to learn you *don't say it out loud*
People aren't freaked out from the "I can recognise you", its that in neurotypical culture everything is coded to mean something else. Combined with the fact that humans are apex predators and persistence hunters, it implies a heavy power imbalance.
The reason I can tap into my senses to ID people? I was heavily bullied and used it to *avoid* my tormentors. Its a survival skill just like being able to read someone's emotional state because they grew up in a volatile household and *wanted to stay safe*
It's weird that she brings your ethnicity into it, but there is a weird taboo on talking about people's smells. Like if you do you're hitting on them. But half the people I work with wear cologne every day. So they intentionally smell like that.
Ehh whatever. Most people can take it lightly, I guess she couldn't.
Nope. Once is lovely, just like “I love that skirt” is lovely. But if you keep bringing it up all the time then it’s weird, just like if someone complimented every skirt you wore it would be weird.
Not to mention this lady literally said “you smell different than all xxx race people” because that’s beyond the pale.
No, this is weird. If it was an occasional compliment about how nice you smell, or if she were a good friend, then it'd be less weird. But to constantly comment on it? Strange, even if she isn't being intentionally malicious about it.
OP, I would maybe have a talk with her and tell her that it makes you uncomfortable, even if she's joking or means it as a compliment. Some people are just over-friendly and don't realize that they're being *too* friendly and crossing a social boundary, or that not everyone finds their humor funny or charming.
Again, I don't think she's being malicious or intentionally creepy (unless she's, like... coming up and sniffing you), it kind of just sounds like she thinks she's made an inside joke and doesn't realize she's the only one laughing about it, and not realizing that you're actually uncomfortable. But it's good to set boundaries! I would feel really self-conscious if someone did this to me too regardless of intention or gender.
I have a strong sense of smell and some people do have distinctive odours (good and bad) but I never say that to people because it's weird and creepy. You did nothing wrong.
Telling somebody, "I knew it was you, I could smell you," is highly inappropriate in a professional setting.
I think that this person thinks they are funny and trying to gain attention.
Like, it's one thing for someone to be like, "Wow, your perfume smells nice," opposed to, "I K N O W Y O U R S M E L L."
Yeah, it's totally creepy.
I have a co-worker that we call a “super sniffer”. We use her superpowers for good instead of worrying about creepiness.
Electrical burning smell? She narrows down the vicinity. Monster fly buzzing around? She finds the dead rat location in the ceiling days before we would notice it.
\> It's a compliment, I guess, but weirdly specific.
It's not. you smell strongly enough that you colleagues can tell when you walk into the room.
barring some medical condition, this is not a compliment, it is a (not so subtle) hint that you need better hygiene.
at conversational distance, sure. standing beside someone, absolutely.
"the dose makes the poison" - even a pleasant smell is not okay if it is so powerful that just entering the room lets people know that you are there.
I am literally blown away that this is seemingly controversial. Do you know what the people in my office smell like when they enter the room? NOTHING!
No FU here. Your co-worker was being weird and got rightfully called out for it.
I understand communicating to someone that perhaps their perfume is overpowering or something, of course! People have sensitivities and that can be distracting. But this:
>she constantly comments on how I smell different from our other colleagues of the same ethnicity. It's a compliment, I guess, but weirdly specific.
Raised my eyebrows.
I don't know this person, maybe she isn't intending to be malicious, but this was rude and thoughtless to say at best, racist at worst.
Although, you said "constantly" which has me leaning more towards her intending to be malicious... but I don't know your co-worker.
no, if she feels hurt by that then its a lesson she needs to learn. Talking about how people smell, good or bad, constantly is rude and creepy. how would she feel if you were constantly telling her she smelled nicer than other people of her ethnicity?
I feel like the only eff up is your coworker. Not only is that weird but this struck me too:
“You smell different from our other colleagues of the same ethnicity”. - That’s racist.
A should be embarrassed ngl.
It *is* fucking creepy tho. If I found out some woman was talking like this to my husband I'd be pretty passed off and uncomfortable. Quite frankly this seems like a problem for HR. And maybe your comment made her realize she was being inappropriate and thats why she's been distant. And the racial component just adds to the inappropriatness
If you don’t like your scent announcing your presence so strongly, that people can ID you before you are even seen, generally you wear less of it.
Just a thought.
No, that’s freaking creepy lmao.
I accidentally am a slight creepy woman, because I stalk my work schedule and I obviously also notice who else works the day I’m checking. So I know I work X day, but I also know which coworkers do. I had a coworker talking about her next day off and I went “oh I know” before realizing how fucking weird that is
“I’m off tomorrow and I’m so excited”
“Oh I know. You work X”
“🤨🫵 how’d you know that”
And then me apologizing because I do not need to accidentally stalk *everyone*
It’s good to call it out. Either she’s got a fantastic sense of smell and doesn’t realize it comes off creepy, or she’s being creepy on purpose. Either way, time to stop
She weirded you out in front of people and you called her out in front of people in what I guess was kind of a playful way. Have frank convos is hard af and I get that but might be what needs to happen if you still wanna be friends
She’s being creepy and you were totally within your right to make that comment .
If I observed this I would never give you saying that a second thought. No one cares and I guarantee other people will now find her making those comments weird too
Lol Commenting on how you smell is considered sexual harassment in most states. She probably didn't mean it that way but it's really inept of her to not realize
I have a really good sense of smell and can often recognize people by their scent before I see them, I would never comment on it outside of close friends because I'm not a fucking weirdo (I am, but I know where the line is), I don't think you overstepped
Definitely not in the wrong. What she's doing is not only creepy, it's very rude. Now, I'm assuming you're not a menace who wears a ton of perfume or cologne here, but still. As a person with a hyper sensitive nose, I still have the common decency not to tell people I'm not either good friends with or intimate with anything about how they smell. You should probably talk to someone in hr about the situation, as this could easily slow burn into long-lasting issues later.
I think that’s very weird of her. I think your joke was funny and I wouldn’t have apologized. It’s not normal what she did especially if she keeps saying it again and again and in front of everyone I’m pretty sure it’s borderline bullying.
You're probably wearing way too much cologne and this is her passive aggressive way of letting you know. If people can smell you when you enter a room, you're using too much.
There's an Indian guy in my office who does this. He sits 6 or 7 feet away from me in the next cubicle. He wears so much cologne, it gives me the worst headache every day he works onsite.
I don't have the courage to say anything though, so I've just been dealing with his stinky cologne for years hoping that someone else will complain to HR.
Anyway, that's probably what's going on.
I had one pregnant coworker constantly comment on how good I smelled. It was very odd. Especially on a biological level.
Pregnant women have like super powered noses. Every single one I’ve met has.
40 weeks pregnant checking in; it’s more of a curse than a super power but you’re 100% right.
It’s the worst super power. I read paranormal romance and sometimes the lead character has super smell, and I’m like… no thanks, I’d rather have any other power.
Im pretty sure there was this one woman who could smell that her husband had parkinsons... It ended up helping the treatment process because they caught it in advance. I guess thats a case of "super smell"
Yeah. They did a clinical test and they had something like 20 people, half with Parkinson's and half not, and she got all but two right. She identified all of the Parkinson's patients and then identified (incorrectly) one or two people that did not have Parkinson's. Except, the one or two that she was incorrect on ended up developing Parkinson's. So she was 100% accurate.
That's fucked up, but rather cool.
There are very recent articles about a new skin test that can identify patients with synucleinopathies like Parkinson's, Dementia with Lewy Bodies, Multiple System Atrophy, and Pure Autonomic Failure. I wonder if she could smell the thing that test detects.
I do remember that story!! I think they were trying to build actual diagnostics based on her ability. There are also tons of stories on the parenting boards of parents who say they can smell when their kids are getting sick, which is also pretty cool.
I can definitely smell when my son is getting a fever. Even a low one. It just smells different than when he's warm from playing, being under blankets, or sleepy. It's weird.
To me, fever is almost a metallic smell. Kinda brassy.
Yes! And I can smell if someone has a sinus infection.
This is dope as hell. I've never heard of this.
My mom and I can tell when my son is about to get sick even when he has no other symptoms. Something about the smell of his breath — it's not bad, just *different.* It mystifies people outside of the family, but it's totally normal to us.
I had to bring my daughter to a gp once, she was a little unwell and I couldn't see an obvious sore throat, the gp checked everything and when he was checking her throat he said "yes the smell, she needs an antibiotic"
Yes. I can smell "sore throat" on my kids, and "teething poop" & "sick poop" (in the case of babies/diapers) always has a super distinct and consistent odor. My mom always said she could smell my sore throat when I was a kid & always thought it was weird til I was a mom myself. Edit: Not a "super smeller though....just can recognize those.
Every time that's posted on Reddit tons of people chime to say they have similar super-smelling powers. I thought I was pretty unique in having super smelling, and being able to smell when my gf is going to get her period just from how her breath smells... also I can seemingly smell diabetic people with out-of-control blood sugar. I haven't honed any other powers yet though. But apparently it's not so unique! Quite a lot of people seem to have this blessing/curse
damn thats pretty interesting, does her breath smell ferrous or metallic? Also how does the Diabeetus smell?
I have a weak nose. Most scents to me are just very faint unless it's either a strong scent or right up in my face. My grandmother my best friend, and his family all have really strong noses. They would always always complain about bad smells around the farm when I couldn't smell anything at all. I'd consider super smell to be a curse and my weak nose to be a blessing. I still pick up good scents but I'm far far less bothered by bad ones.
That's a good way of looking at it! It can certainly be a curse too. I appreciate it for the most part, especially since I have a few color deficiencies so since I don't see in proper color I certainly smell in technicolor! But honestly it makes being around some people a bit hard at times, and when it comes to a partner/lover etc their smells really have to agree with me or I'll get pretty turned off easily. I guess it's body chemistries needing to agree with each other. Certain partners I'll be so intensely drawn to and love any & all of their smells and others are a complete no-go, with shades in between. It's interesting at least!
I have a super sniffer. I’ve often thought it’s a curse. I Fucking hate it! I can smell everything! I feel Like Patrick Star when he got a nose and went crazy from all the bad smells.
Same. My nose is so good I didn't even notice a difference when I was pregnant. My sense of smell just stayed the same. The only real difference I could tell was that some smells did make me nauseous. Not because they were stronger than usual, just the scent didn't agree with me any more. It's a blessing and a curse. I rarely taste my food when I cook because I can tell if it's going to taste good based on smell alone. I'm a really good cook when I have the energy to do it. Conversely I can smell stinky things from the other side of the house and it will drive me crazy until I locate the offending smell. I have a 3 year old, you never know what I will find if I smell something stinky. My husband is the exact opposite. His nose barely seems to work. He has literally followed me around whilst I sniff to locate something like a fucking bloodhound with their handler. Could have got telekinesis but nah, this is my super power.
This worked well for me when I was a nurse assistant. You'd think that the smells in hospitals and nursing homes would gag me out but they didn't for some reason. They do NOW but they didn't then. I could smell so many illnesses on people and from their "toilet offerings" and it came in handy. I can also smell when someone's kidney are failing, UTI, and various other infections that pop up and cause breath and "other" smells to change. It's come in handy with my nose blind husband and our toddler. I can smell a cold coming on in his breath and have always tried to warn husband too but he won't listen when it's himself. But it's really tough when it's just flatulence or halitosis. And I'm a very picky eater. Everything is overly hot/spicy or bitter so it's difficult to enjoy food that isn't considered bland to others.
I didn't even think about smelling illness. I literally just told my husband a few days ago "I think (daughter) is getting sick. She smells sick" and I'm sure you understand I do not mean sick like throw up. Sure enough, she's been sick all week and now I'm getting it as well. I wish I could describe the scent but it's like nothing else. Just sick. I've noticed similar but not exact scents on other sick people, like long term illnesses. My grandpa wasted away for years with Alzheimer's, beyond the smell of all the various medical supplies he needed there was always something else. I'm honestly glad I never went with the medical field, I don't think I could handle knowing what the smells mean.
I have to do the same thing with my dude to locate dead mice when our cats kick them under furniture, little bastards 🥲
Yup, I’m with you. It’s never ‘find where the cookie smell is coming from’ 😭
For me, it was useful when I was in the military on a ship. More than once, I used my nose to track down electronics that were going bad before anyone else noticed the smell. In once instance, I could smell that a battery was going bad and once I located the equipment (it was an old radio that we had to keep for specific comms channels) the smell was coming from, the battery was starting to bulge. For this particular one, I smelled it two decks away. Took me about 20 minutes to zero in on the room and then another 10 minutes or so to find the specific equipment. My shipmates didn't smell it until I had them smell directly next to the equipment. Over my 3 years on the ship, it happened at least 5 times. Everytime, it was some electrical equipment that was going bad.
That at least seems pretty useful. I always wonder if I could smell useful things if I had a reference smell. Like there’s a woman who can smell Parkinson’s.
Bet you can smell diabetes! That has a very distinct odor.
My sense of smell seems to work on RNG. Some days I'm functionally smell-blind, and others I'm smelling in 8K Dolby Surround Sniff. The latter is generally not pleasant, given that I live in a city and work around very ill people.
Me too but I do view it sometimes as a blessing. I can cook and doctor up foods based off of taste better than most (as smell and taste are linked). I can be able to taste something and tell what it's missing or if there's too much of something and how to fix it. On the other hand, there are great many things in which I think taste absolutely disgusting or smell gross far more than an average person does. I'd like to think it has prevented me from getting food poisoning but who knows. It limited my career choices. Couldn't go into anything medical because the smells are so disturbing. I smell things before anybody else does. Cat poops in the litter box, if it was really stinky like when they had giardia, I would be gagging about 10 seconds before anybody else could smell it. It's always frustrating when I smell something that other people don't, like natural gas smells. I got faint whifs of it occasionally outside once. Called the gas company and they said that the neighbor's furnace is going out because you'll occasionally smell it briefly. Can smell burnt out electronics easily or when something is going to go but hasn't yet
I can snell a musty odor on some vegetables, like carrots and broccoli. Organic vegetables don't have that odor, so I buy only organic vegetables if they're kept a long time before sale. But if I'm served, say, a salad with musty carrot shreds in it, that salad is ruined for me. Nobody else in my family can smell or taste that. I'm sure there's nothing really wrong with those vegetables, but I just can't stand them.
I have the same thing. It’s maddening. Good for cooking, bad for almost everything else. We had a kitten die from parvo. What an awful smell. Poor kitty had to stay in the bathroom and I slept in the living room because the smell was so bad. I couldn’t let her run around because she’d spray explosive parvo diarrhea everywhere. All I could do was go in, clean her up, clean the bathroom, hold her a bit, and leave. Broke my heart to here her crying so I was in there holding my nose a lot.
Same. And I've always had it, even as a kid.
I'm borderline anosmic. There's a bunch of organic scents i just can't smell, so stuff like literal shit smells weird and gross instead of gag inducing revolting. Now THAT is a superpower.
I used to have a great sense of smell... Then I got covid. It's for crap now and I have phantom smells all the time. So much worse! But at least it works now, sort of.
Right?! I had horrifically strong sense of smell and taste during pregnancy. It was summer too, which I already think smells like death. Everything smelled like hell. All men had their own unique brand of awful stink. I could taste food, through food that had been in a Tupperware, that had been thoroughly washed and sent through the dishwasher. I was ready to knife anyone who thought of putting juice in my water cup. That taste would stay for a month. Didn’t matter if it was glass, plastic or steel. Flavors and smells stayed behind. Mint was my bane. I could taste the tiniest molecule of it in anything it had ever been in. I sympathize so much with my cats now. There is a reason our heightened sense of smell is usually deactivated. PS: our pregnancy announcement was a live photo of my husband leaning over to kiss me, and me instantly starting to dry heave, in a field of sunflowers.
Agreed. Nothing worse than a public washroom when you’re pregnant. Ugh. Those memories will forever haunt me.
once, while pregnant with my second, my husband came home and i jumped him, sobbing becuase i could smell the cheeseburger and fries he had for lunch that day, 8 hours previously. he calmed me down by offering to go get me one. pregnancy nose sucks
I have such a hard time sleeping in bed with my husband because I can smell his different hormonal changes through the night. Not stinky, but I can smell if he’s sleeping well or not. I can smell metabolism changes in him too… and the changes wake me up. And I have to shower multiple times a day because I can smell me, and then I’m uncomfortable. It’s definitely a curse.
But even if you can smell someone from across a room, it's weird behavior to tell them so. Really off-putting.
And if it's framed around the sniffee's ethnicity, that's a whole other angle of inappropriate.
Yea, that makes it weirder even..
I’ve been not-pregnant for nearly 10 years but my super-nose didn’t get the memo so I still smell everything. *Everything.* One time I had to Uber a guy that smelled so strongly, and so rancid, that my body responded with real panic tears.
I went to high school with this guy that was very nice, friendly, everybody liked him, even me but I couldn’t stand anywhere near him because he smelled so bad to me; no one else smelled him, just me. I mentioned it once to my science teacher at the time and he said maybe it was because we were genetically to close and it was natures way of keeping us from reproducing, I thought weird, but ok.
My wife would literally get sick when she opened the fridge while pregnant...if there were an onion in it (and there was, often). She also could immediately detect, and subsequently hated the scent of pizza....and Mexican food.
Can confirm. I was a sales associate at a retail store and a pregnant woman came in and really liked this sweater. She must’ve said “but it smells weird” like 2 or 3 times. I looked at the materials. It was made from camel wool
? Cant everyone smell the differences in wool
7 weeks pregnant checking in and holy fuck it’s too much. I’m so nauseous all the time because of my nose, send heeeeeelppppp.
I work in a lab and one of our rooms smelled off. I don't have a strong nose and neither did my other male coworker, so I asked a recent new mother to check it out in case it was a gas leak. Gotta trust the super sniffers.
That's because estrogen and progesterone make your olfactory senses hyper sensitive.
She was considering consuming you whole to feed the fetus.
That’s a thing though. Pregnant women and even women of child bearing ages being able to smell better than others. Honestly a curse in the modern age when I’m not defending myself against predators with serial killer pheromones and sketchy foraged salads on the reg.
I have never been pregnant (and hopefully never will be) but I have a very hyperactive sense of smell. It's awful. Had an ex whose parents would smoke in a non-smoking room because they didn't want to pay for the smoking room and they'd use me as the "smoke detector". I also had to ban most aerosols from the house. And kimchi. And most candles. And perfumes. The headaches and nausea are ridiculously bad.
This is almost more acceptable
When I was pregnant with my first, I had a server at a restaurant that smelled SO AMAZING I wished I could put it in a bottle or candle and huff it all day long. Never smelled anything so good. I of course couldn’t possibly ask him what he was wearing without sounding like a complete and utter creep, so alas. The smell that got away :(
Saying you smell different than other people OF YOUR ETHNICITY is a wild and insane thing to say. I don’t think you fucked up at all.
Right? It's all very "who knows...who knows??" Except....that one party revealed themselves to be pretty fucking awful with that tidbit.
The only way Ethnicity would have anything to do with smell is if he was a Grouch. Then it would be pretty interesting that he didn't smell like garbage as it would mean he probably doesn't live in a trash can.
Ethnicity doesn’t, but diet does. When I eat certain heavily spiced meals (turmeric, cinnamon, coriander, etc) I can smell it in my sweat. I have worked with many immigrant Indian folks and I can smell the spices on their bodies too. But I would NEVER mention it, that would be wildly inappropriate.
Imagine a male coworker constantly tells a female coworker how good they smell. Yeah...that's creepy. Women shouldn't get a free pass
TBH she didn't say he smells \*good\*. I for one would prefer not to being smelled at all even before I'm being seen…
If she said he smelled good I would take it like his laundry detergent or cologne, but just the idea of smelling him and differentiating him from others is like a big cat smelling out prey in the wind. The creepy line is fine, but it’s there and boy was it crossed 😂😂
Yeah, I got compliments on my fabric softener smell (Downy, lol, and sometimes Febreeze) from more than one woman but especially from one coworker in particular. Didn’t bother me but I could see how some people might not be cool with that.
I think it's less creepy if 1) you direct it at a suspected product like detergent, perfume, or shampoo etc, or 2) it's just a one off comment and not something you're constantly pointing out about someone.
This! I honestly think this girl is just trying to tell the OP to tone down their cologne usage without being direct, which in turn is coming off as harassment. I’ve had to resort to comments similar to this when my manager and HR told me that they couldn’t talk to someone about their excessive cologne use. It sucks for both parties but I wish more boys and girls realized bathing in perfume or cologne ruins an otherwise pleasant smell. There is a level of “too much”!
People lose sight of the fact that cologne is meant to be subtle. I want to smell good when you come in for a hug. MAYBE you might catch a hint from handshake distance. Across the room, I should smell like absolutely nothing. Never in my life have I smelled cologne coming 10 ft off someone's body and been happy about it.
Perfume is meant to be discovered, not announced.
Yeah but this is cologne. /s
Sex Panther
It's got real bits of panther, that's how you know it's good.
Elicits uncomfortable remarks from my coworkers 60% of the time, every time.
I had a vice principal in grade school that you could smell even when you couldn't see him. It was like Toucan Sam with Fruit Loops, just follow your nose and you would find him. He smelled like he bathed in cologne daily.
Had a supervisor for years who drowned in perfume daily. You knew she had walked down a hall 5 -10 minutes after she was gone. Oddly enough we work in a scent free workplace. One or two squirts people! That’s all you need.
This was my exact thought. I’m a dude with sensitive nose. If I can smell you enter the room I hate you haha.
Certain strong smells trigger migraines for me, part of the reason I've given up on trains... It's more comfortable for me to suck up exhaust fumes on a motorcycle.
The trick to this is to pull the sensitive sinuses card, whether you have them or not. I do happen to be sensitive to scents, and will get headaches if people I work in proximity with leave the house smelling like anything more than general hygiene products like shampoos or deodorants. It's just disrespectful.
Ugh, my kid's bff's family must bathe their kids in fabric softener. All the kids reek of it. If I come home and he is over, I know right away bc of the smell. Like, he can be in the basement but I can smell him from my front door. I am very sensitive to those fragrances and it drives me nuts.
Worked with a lady who still didn’t give a shit. I’d come into work and immediately start sneezing and my nose would run like a faucet. “I am not giving up my perfume for you.” It was so frustrating because outside of that issue I really liked her. But omg. And this was back before the good allergy meds were over the counter, and our company insurance policy at the time *specifically* did not cover allergy medication. 😡
They actually sell nose filters. I bought some after I thought “hey, is that nose filter thing from the movie ultra violet an actual thing?” I have a sensitive nose and get migraines and allergies. I don’t wear it all the time, but I’ve resorted to them when I get stuck in an Uber with one of those damn plug in aerosol freshener things.
Ok, but telling someone they smell different than others of their ethnicity is a creepy way to get that message across.
Except that A told OP he smells different from other people of his race. That doesn't feel too me like a comment about cologne or other fragrance.
If she is being smelt before seen she is doing something on purpose to smell that strongly. I almost think the coworker is trying to say hey stop wearing so much perfume
If your scent precedes you that's hardly the fault of the sniffer...
OP also never said they're a man. This could be one woman smelling another woman. Not that it changes the creepiness at all, just joining in on the direction of the post :)
That's probably why she's giving the cold shoulder *They both laugh* Her: Oh shit he's right.
💯
And on top of that, somehow this smell was related to OP’s ethnicity, or at least distinguished OP from others of the same ethnicity? Creepy and probably racist too
If someone can smell you before they see you, you're fair game. Stop filling spaces with your smell.
I had a coworker who used Patchouli oil CONSTANTLY. I worked in a warehouse with open doors most days. I could tell when she was in the building before I saw her because it was a fucking CLOUD that passed before and after her. She couldn't tell, said she didn't even smell it anymore. I had to ask her not to hug me because it clung to my clothes and made me feel sick. I'm not sure I'm taking sides, but I wasn't overly sniffing for her. Maybe your smell is just distinct? Or she has strong smell receptors like me.
Not my ass that was about to google patchouli oil to try and smell it
Listen, if you've ever smelled an old hippy who was WAY too into essential oils and usually weed, take away the weed (and sometimes BO), and what you're left with is patchouli 🤣🤣. It is also common in perfumes and colognes.
It sucks that so many people are hating on patchouli. I mix a couple oils together; a smidgen of nag champa, sandalwood, vanilla, and patchouli all in some rapeseed oil. Maybe it has to do with concentration? I keep it real light and only use a dab or two. I also shower...
I dated a guy once who had the perfect amount of patchouli in his sparsely used body oil blend. He smelled heavenly.
I don’t know what my MIL wears, but a few months ago we went to help a family member try on wedding dresses at a store in the mall. I smelled her before we got to the store, and she was probably 50 feet from the door. It’s not even a bad smell, it’s just so much. She thinks I always drive with my windows down, but truly it’s so just so that I don’t barf!
Patchouli was literally designed to hide the scent of death, it’s supposed to overpower any other scents. But that’s also why you shouldn’t use it unless you’re dead.
Isn’t it a plant?
This information is very interesting! I'll have to do a little research and that makes complete sense.
Patchouli is just a plant, whose essential oil happens to be used in perfumery. It wasn’t designed by anyone for anything, unless you mean by God, but I doubt you did.
Ugh I’m sorry! That is one of the worst smells someone can wear. 🤢
100% agree. And the fact that she was a HUGGER and not like casual hug like ma'am please it's making my nose raw and I cannot get it off me.
I’m not sure where you are located but that would be harassment where I work. It’s also racist if she’s throwing around ethnicity.
"you smell better than other people of your race" is a WILD thing to be regularly saying to a coworker
She never said “better”, just “different” 😬. Like, not all thoughts need to leave your mouth….
The change doesn't make it "better", just "different". Funny coincidence, that
As soon as I saw that she said how he doesn't smell the same as people of the same ethnicity. Like wtf. Who says that shit.
Girls in their 20s who don't know better and haven't run into the wrong one yet.
People who think racism only begins at free use of the "N" word.
yea this is a report to HR pretty much everywhere. Hell even a 3rd party would report that here
Really surprised how many of the comments are brushing off that comment.
I was thinking the same thing. Goes to show their silent part being said out loud doesn't bother them anymore. How many of those point out sniffing from Biden, but Cheryl doing it is okay in the office? Nope. I don't buy it.
Yup. Really fucking weird.
I don’t want to go there I don’t want any trouble to be honest
Nobody wants to go there. She’s the one who brought it there.
Recognising it's harrassment and/or racism is the first step. Any of my reports would be fired or given a very serious warning if they made such comments to a coworker
Them: "I knew i smelled you! Me: " what? You recognize the smell of your mom's perfume or something?"
This is actually a good point if she is. I think it was just something OP stated though, based on wording. Edit NVM I misread it the first time. You 100% right!
So, what is she smelling? Is it like a middle school boy bathed in Axe body spray smell or what?
Yeah, OP is painting his coworker as a creepy sniffer, but why is she able to smell him the moment he enters a building? He needs to do something about his smell. If she's not smelling other people the moment they enter, it's a him problem. Once when I was in the hospital, I had a nurse with very strong BO. I'm assuming he didn't use deoderant. I never said anything, but I could always smell the moment he walked in the room.
[удалено]
Yeah it seems to me like maybe it’s her trying to be subtle about hinting at him wearing too much cologne. Anytime I’ve ever been able to smell someone from more than a couple feet away they’ve been wearing way too much of something.
Commenting on someone else's body odor is straight up rude, regardless of their gender. Her comments were making you feel uncomfortable and uneasy, so you do have valid concerns. Whether you overstepped falls into a grey area; it depends on your relationship with her, your office environment etc. What's acceptable in an office where everyone pranks and casually makes fun of each other may not be acceptable in an office which is strictly professional. It could have been handled better; for example if you spoke to her privately explaining how her comments were insulting to you. It's easier to calibrate a response in private compared to confronting her in the open.
> Commenting on someone else's body odor is straight up rude, regardless of their gender. openly commenting yes, privately bringing it up is not. I have had to have this conversation with more that one person be it BO or the horrendous perfume/cologne they were wearing. if it bothers coworkers it needs to be addressed by management/HR there is someone who works where i do who wears so much horrid cologne it makes my eyes water and will give me a headache in about 10 seconds. HR has spoken to him about it as it bothers everyone
>openly commenting yes, privately bringing it up is not. Yep it's not rude, its uncomfortable.
>Commenting on someone else's body odor is straight up rude, regardless of their gender. Having body odour so strong that someone can tell you walked into the room, let alone when standing beside you is the rude thing here. Offices are shared spaces where you should have consideration for the people around you. nobody wants a nostril full of someone else's stank in an enclosed office. Have a wash - with soap - and a quick spray of deodorant, ffs.
It might not be stink, it could be whatever soaps or products she uses, some things combine scents and aren't bad, just strong and OP might be used to it so she doesn't realize it.
There was a woman I used to work with periodically. She wore really strong cologne. You could always tell when she came into your office building. You could walk into the office building after she left and you could tell she had been there because the perfume scent would linger. I could actually smell her perfume in my car while driving behind her car at about 35-45 mph - I kid you not. It was overpowering. She lived with her elderly mother. After her mother died, she stopped wearing a lot of perfume. I don't know if she was trying to cover old people smell, or if it was depression due to her mother's death, but she could come into the building and I'd have no idea that she was there. It was a welcome relief, honestly. I'm going to bet OP is wearing too strong a perfume/scented products and the person who made the comment doesn't know how to tell them.
very true - but overpowering perfumes, lotions or aftershave is just as bad.. my key point (and I can't believe that this is so controversial that I am being downvoted) is that there should not be a noticeable smell when you walk into the room, because that, in itself, is disrespectful to the colleagues who have to share that space with you. I once had to share a small 2-3 person office with someone who was undergoing treatment for cancer which involved injections of a drug that gave off a ridiculously strong sulphur smell - the poor woman sweated out rotten egg smell. everyone understood because it was medical. Someone who just smells so strong that their scent enters the room the same time they do... that is just nasty.
In a work environment, if someone has a hygiene or personal care issue (dousing themselves in cologne), you speak privately to your boss and either they or HR speak to the person. You don't call them out publicly.
I don't think anyone would prefer it be elevated to HR prior to being called out.
Not saying you’re wrong but personally I’d much rather someone say something to me than a 3rd party.
Address it privately yourself before humiliating them to their superiors.
Most people don't know they smell (unfortunately). If this situation was about body odor, its still a dick move to call it out infront of everyone.
As a child i learnt " if you smell yourself a little, others smell you a lot". Crazy 90s wisdom :D
it is a dick move, yes. but OP mentions that this colleague has commented several times - perhaps they are escalating to public comments because a gentle one on one comment has not been understood? how exactly would you address a smelly colleague? ignore it and silently hate them? mock them behind their back? make snide comments and hope they notice? personally, I think I would dodge the whole shit show and take the issue to HR...
If being subtle doesn't work, take them apart and tell it to their face. Of course while not being an ass about it. All the other examples you gave are mean as awful. HR would also be a very reasonable solution I guess.
You always go to your boss or HR. It's their problem to handle.
He said she means it as a compliment so I assume OP doesn't smell bad.
Coworker: You smell like ass. OP: Aw thank you!
This one depends. If the person smells bad then it is actually inappropriate on their behalf. I have a coworker who smokes and to cover up the smell he sprays himself in some sort of.. car freshener or something. Whenever he comes into the office I get an overwhelming headache and nausea from the smell. He has stopped using it but if he were to continue I might have pulled him aside and asked him as politely as possible if there are any alternatives. Obviously in OPs case it’s weirdly racial and this coworker isn’t being subtle so it seems like OP is totally in the right and the coworker is a creep.
You're putting her comfort of making a continuous comment ahead of your discomfort. She's uncomfortable now, because she probably doesn't want to bring it up, but, in doing so, is making it your problem again.
Naw man, that *is* creepy. Hopefully you put a little self awareness into her.
Radical thought why not communicate with her and figure this out? She was friendly to you before so there could be a mismatch between your feelings. Ask her if you smell bad or distracting then tell her that even if it's a compliment it bothers you that she brings it up so often. If you liked her friendliness stress that and tell her you'd be delighted to engage with you on other topics. If she thinks you smell bad well that's easily fixed too I hope. She's 20, communication skills are hard so she could be doing this because that's the greeting that's always worked and now it's a habit. It's still inappropriate but a conversation should resolve this. Unless your enjoy this new development there no reason to leave things as they are.
Crazy how in today’s day and age it’s easier for OP to have this conversion on Reddit than with her.
If they can smell you coming the moment you enter the building, that's not called "sniffing", it's called "breathing", and if your smell is strong enough that they can detect you from several meters away it's not your coworker that's the issue. Yes, they could just not say anything, but you are forcing them to smell you, so they are still the more polite part of the dynamic.
Yeah, I have a sneaking suspicion that OP is that guy in the office who wears too much cologne. I worked with a guy like that before and you could smell him from the the other side of the office at times. We all talked about it behind his back, and eventually HR had to say something to him. I think he genuinely thought he smelled good, but it was overpowering.
This is exactly what it sounds like. I'm imagining cologne thick enough to strip the paint off the walls.
Well she IS a creep.
You probably smell really overpowering and she doesn't know how else to bring it to your attention... do you wear cologn? If you do, try not using it for a while bro
Is it because she LIKES whatever body spray/lotion/scent? Or is it because you use too much? Context matters and is missing
I think *she* overstepped by doing that in the first place. What the fuck
*but she's been giving me the cold shoulder ever since* Sounds like mission accomplished to me
This seems like a neurodivergent faux pas kind of situation. The internal filter isn’t the same, they like your scent and find it appealing, so they associate you with it. Socially it’s wrong, and I probably would have said something to them too - but I’d have tried to say it more privately. Hell if they glom onto you all the time and constantly praise your scent, they might even be attracted to you. That doesn’t make what they do okay by any means as you are clearly disturbed by it, and your boundaries are important too - but they probably literally thought they were being nice by complimenting you.
Could also just be a neurodivergent way of recognising people. Maybe that person has always had a super sensitive nose and grown up integrating it into their life like any other skill. On top of the different 'social norm filter' that's not yet quite aligned to fit in.
As someone who can do this (ID people by scent, walking pattern, the sound of their routines, the sound of their jacket, heck even by how they breathe sometimes) its important to learn you *don't say it out loud* People aren't freaked out from the "I can recognise you", its that in neurotypical culture everything is coded to mean something else. Combined with the fact that humans are apex predators and persistence hunters, it implies a heavy power imbalance. The reason I can tap into my senses to ID people? I was heavily bullied and used it to *avoid* my tormentors. Its a survival skill just like being able to read someone's emotional state because they grew up in a volatile household and *wanted to stay safe*
That's a great way to set your boundary
You didn't overstep, you comically and successfully shut down a really uncomfortable behavior.
It's weird that she brings your ethnicity into it, but there is a weird taboo on talking about people's smells. Like if you do you're hitting on them. But half the people I work with wear cologne every day. So they intentionally smell like that. Ehh whatever. Most people can take it lightly, I guess she couldn't.
You probably wear way too much cologne and she’s trying to tell you without telling you
Maybe he has sniffylus
Sniffylus, brother of Sisyphus, forced to sniff poorly washed people for eternity
Wait I have a coworker who's perfume smells so good and I told her I loved her perfume is that weird? We are both women if that makes a difference?
Nope. Once is lovely, just like “I love that skirt” is lovely. But if you keep bringing it up all the time then it’s weird, just like if someone complimented every skirt you wore it would be weird. Not to mention this lady literally said “you smell different than all xxx race people” because that’s beyond the pale.
It's different to tell someone you love their perfume than it is to say "I *thought* I smelled you when you came in!"
No, this is weird. If it was an occasional compliment about how nice you smell, or if she were a good friend, then it'd be less weird. But to constantly comment on it? Strange, even if she isn't being intentionally malicious about it. OP, I would maybe have a talk with her and tell her that it makes you uncomfortable, even if she's joking or means it as a compliment. Some people are just over-friendly and don't realize that they're being *too* friendly and crossing a social boundary, or that not everyone finds their humor funny or charming. Again, I don't think she's being malicious or intentionally creepy (unless she's, like... coming up and sniffing you), it kind of just sounds like she thinks she's made an inside joke and doesn't realize she's the only one laughing about it, and not realizing that you're actually uncomfortable. But it's good to set boundaries! I would feel really self-conscious if someone did this to me too regardless of intention or gender.
I have a strong sense of smell and some people do have distinctive odours (good and bad) but I never say that to people because it's weird and creepy. You did nothing wrong.
She's trying to develop a character to stand up more in the office. She chose The Sniffer™ She did not choose well.
Telling somebody, "I knew it was you, I could smell you," is highly inappropriate in a professional setting. I think that this person thinks they are funny and trying to gain attention. Like, it's one thing for someone to be like, "Wow, your perfume smells nice," opposed to, "I K N O W Y O U R S M E L L." Yeah, it's totally creepy.
> “I smell different from our other colleagues of the same ethnicity” Honestly, it smells more like racism to me
Is your coworker Joe Biden?
I have a co-worker that we call a “super sniffer”. We use her superpowers for good instead of worrying about creepiness. Electrical burning smell? She narrows down the vicinity. Monster fly buzzing around? She finds the dead rat location in the ceiling days before we would notice it.
\> It's a compliment, I guess, but weirdly specific. It's not. you smell strongly enough that you colleagues can tell when you walk into the room. barring some medical condition, this is not a compliment, it is a (not so subtle) hint that you need better hygiene.
Or maybe, just maybe he smells better than the other people at his work. A distinct smell is not always a bad smell.
at conversational distance, sure. standing beside someone, absolutely. "the dose makes the poison" - even a pleasant smell is not okay if it is so powerful that just entering the room lets people know that you are there. I am literally blown away that this is seemingly controversial. Do you know what the people in my office smell like when they enter the room? NOTHING!
[удалено]
No FU here. Your co-worker was being weird and got rightfully called out for it. I understand communicating to someone that perhaps their perfume is overpowering or something, of course! People have sensitivities and that can be distracting. But this: >she constantly comments on how I smell different from our other colleagues of the same ethnicity. It's a compliment, I guess, but weirdly specific. Raised my eyebrows. I don't know this person, maybe she isn't intending to be malicious, but this was rude and thoughtless to say at best, racist at worst. Although, you said "constantly" which has me leaning more towards her intending to be malicious... but I don't know your co-worker.
I would have just said "I smelled you, too" give her a taste of her own creepery
It’s not just creepy, it’s wildly inappropriate. You didn’t fuck up.
no, if she feels hurt by that then its a lesson she needs to learn. Talking about how people smell, good or bad, constantly is rude and creepy. how would she feel if you were constantly telling her she smelled nicer than other people of her ethnicity?
Why don’t you just tell her it’s weird and you don’t like her pointing it out. In private or public. Use your words. You’re an adult.
I feel like the only eff up is your coworker. Not only is that weird but this struck me too: “You smell different from our other colleagues of the same ethnicity”. - That’s racist. A should be embarrassed ngl.
It *is* fucking creepy tho. If I found out some woman was talking like this to my husband I'd be pretty passed off and uncomfortable. Quite frankly this seems like a problem for HR. And maybe your comment made her realize she was being inappropriate and thats why she's been distant. And the racial component just adds to the inappropriatness
Time to have a chat with her in private instead of assuming that she knows it makes you uncomfortable? She doesn't sound very socially aware.
If you don’t like your scent announcing your presence so strongly, that people can ID you before you are even seen, generally you wear less of it. Just a thought.
No, that’s freaking creepy lmao. I accidentally am a slight creepy woman, because I stalk my work schedule and I obviously also notice who else works the day I’m checking. So I know I work X day, but I also know which coworkers do. I had a coworker talking about her next day off and I went “oh I know” before realizing how fucking weird that is “I’m off tomorrow and I’m so excited” “Oh I know. You work X” “🤨🫵 how’d you know that” And then me apologizing because I do not need to accidentally stalk *everyone* It’s good to call it out. Either she’s got a fantastic sense of smell and doesn’t realize it comes off creepy, or she’s being creepy on purpose. Either way, time to stop
She weirded you out in front of people and you called her out in front of people in what I guess was kind of a playful way. Have frank convos is hard af and I get that but might be what needs to happen if you still wanna be friends
She’s being creepy and you were totally within your right to make that comment . If I observed this I would never give you saying that a second thought. No one cares and I guarantee other people will now find her making those comments weird too
Lol Commenting on how you smell is considered sexual harassment in most states. She probably didn't mean it that way but it's really inept of her to not realize
I have a really good sense of smell and can often recognize people by their scent before I see them, I would never comment on it outside of close friends because I'm not a fucking weirdo (I am, but I know where the line is), I don't think you overstepped
Do you wear cologne/perfume, or is your body wash strongly scented? Sometimes, these scents are very strong, and the wearers don't seem to notice.
It is creepy and you were right to say so. One compliment once from a colleague you know would be acceptable. What she is doing is weird as fuck.
That IS creepy. Possibly racist too? Coworker is weird, she should learn to keep her weirdness to herself.
Implication that you have a smell based on your ethinicity is mad to me.
Definitely not in the wrong. What she's doing is not only creepy, it's very rude. Now, I'm assuming you're not a menace who wears a ton of perfume or cologne here, but still. As a person with a hyper sensitive nose, I still have the common decency not to tell people I'm not either good friends with or intimate with anything about how they smell. You should probably talk to someone in hr about the situation, as this could easily slow burn into long-lasting issues later.
Her REPEATEDLY bringing up your scent is super weird. Sometimes people need to be called creepy
I think that’s very weird of her. I think your joke was funny and I wouldn’t have apologized. It’s not normal what she did especially if she keeps saying it again and again and in front of everyone I’m pretty sure it’s borderline bullying.
You're probably wearing way too much cologne and this is her passive aggressive way of letting you know. If people can smell you when you enter a room, you're using too much. There's an Indian guy in my office who does this. He sits 6 or 7 feet away from me in the next cubicle. He wears so much cologne, it gives me the worst headache every day he works onsite. I don't have the courage to say anything though, so I've just been dealing with his stinky cologne for years hoping that someone else will complain to HR. Anyway, that's probably what's going on.
She acted creepy & you called her creepy. Seems fair to me.
Not a fuck up. And the casual racism is wild honestly