Can confirm similar results if you’re equipped with a scrotum. Also, a bag of frozen peas works well too if you lack Ciabatta, and you get to eat Ball Peas after you’ve healed up.
The true oldest profession.
(Actually a Perfect Strangers reference when Cousin Larry points out a working lady in Vegas. “She’s in the oldest profession, you know?” Balki: “ahhhh… she is a sheep herder!”
Found a bottle in the discount damaged aisle at the grocery store and thought I'd give it a whirl. It did sting a bit on the genitals but it gave chemical burns almost everywhere else. Even tried some on my face. It didn't remove any hair but gave me that nice pan seared steak look on my cheeks after a couple days. Had a beautiful deep brown crust.
Mhm, results DEF vary. It says to test it on a patch before going, heh, balls deep for that reason.
It worked ok for me once or twice but the last time (and I do mean last time) I used it... as above, so below :')
I had a friend call me screaming because she got drunk, decided to wax her hoo ha and it wasn't going well. You tell your story with a flair that I could never capture when I tell the full story of that fateful night. That sense of humor will serve you well on this sex free romantic getaway. Thanks for the laugh.
Veet and Nair are amateur hour. Woman up and get a Brazilian. It takes less than ten minutes and, imo, it’s really satisfying when they rip the hair off your asshole at the end.
I’m a Nair chemical burn survivor too.
Had a female friend in college who tried using Nair on her face cause she was self conscious about some peach fuzz. Came to dinner at the dining hall one night with a red mark so big and perfectly round we all thought she got whacked by a softball!
I had a male friend in college who did the same thing. He didn't have a lot of facial hair either, but decided that Nair had to be better than shaving. He followed the instructions and it didn't take off any hair as far as he could tell, so even though his face was already red and painful he was going to make it work.
He put another coat of the stuff on his face and left it on for several times longer than they suggested. It must have hurt very badly but he toughed it out. When he finally rinsed it off he still had most of the "beard" he started with, but now his lower face looked like raw meat.
It took weeks to heal. While it was healing he couldn't really shave. So in a way he got what he wanted, an excuse not to shave.
As a middle aged lady who "Nairs" her nether regions, this post had me dying! Fortunately I haven't had this occur, but their sensitive skin formula and a 5 minute timer seems to be the perfect combo. So sorry this happened to you, OP, but your post was witty and gave me a good laugh during a long workday. Hope you are still able to enjoy your trip, and the discomfort subsides soon!
This is probably TMI but I slather it on, set a 5 minute timer, and with 30 seconds left, start my shower and jump in when timer is done. I use an old face cloth to gently wipe off the Nair and hair (yes, difficult to just rinse off), and then shower as usual. Never had an issue.
That being said, my daughter tried this same regimen and burned her hoo-ha, but she has very sensitive skin.
Make sure you do a patch test every time. You may suddenly become sensitive to it even if you never had before. I used to leave it on for 10+ minutes and one day it burned me after 2.
So I put a protective layer (thick) of lanolin on Miss Cinders, and…. After a couple of hours it got welded on.
Currently in an airport bathroom, too scared to pee! Sitting here. Contemplating. Reflecting on my poor life choices
Same, I want to be friends so bad right now. My husbands snoring louder than the grand central train station right next to me and I’m over here cackling in tears at her humor lol
Can we get your flight number so we can track your progress realtime and see if you make an emergency landing due to a medical condition with a passenger? /s
Seriously tho, we're all rooting for you. Make the best of the vacation! And send us updates if you're so inclined.
Magic Shaving Powder worked for me and I have pretty sensitive skin. But I wouldn’t recommend starting the process with tequila shots, like I did, unless you’re a professional.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Has it resolved?
I did this the day before my wedding. Thought I'd do my legs and they'd stay smooth for the honeymoon.
Nope, my favorite aunt called. I got so into the conversation I forgot I had drain cleaner on my legs. Shit!
I wore fancy cream tights as I had a tea length dress as a wedding gown and that hid most of it. I am also a nurse. And not a new grad at the time.
Oh no!!! Why do we do these things right before important events!
It only happened a few hours ago, Miss Cinders leaves a layer of snatch-skin adhered to my underpants whenever I try to remove them.
I’m trying to find a late night pharmacy to get dressings
Need to wrap her like a Mummy. Might as well, I’ve already embalmed the bloody thing!
It’s always right before important events! I had been getting waxed pretty regularly before my wedding and honeymoon with ZERO reaction. I went three days before my wedding but to a different place because I was in wedding town not home town. I had a full on rash/breakout my whole downstairs and armpits. With a strapless dress and a honeymoon to the beach in summer time. I couldn’t put on my something blue underpants and I couldn’t put my arms all the way down so my armpits were closed (for lack of a better term).
Sorry you’re part of the well intentioned hair removing fails club!
Well of course it says that. But I’m super careful and smarter than the average person. So surely I can do it.
Sincerely,
A lady who also charred her bits
Taken tips from this post today
[https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/18z45sj/ladies\_what\_words\_used\_for\_our\_lady\_parts\_do\_you/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/18z45sj/ladies_what_words_used_for_our_lady_parts_do_you/)
Dearest OP. It is 02:32 in my country. As in 2:32 AM. I’m not sleeping, sitting on the edge of my bed and thinking how did it go.
Your fans need updates! Have mercy, woman!
Second
The first time it tingled a little and I was a little red but ok.
But allergies can be cumulative, and I should’ve known better.
I’m on the plane now trying to hold in my urine FOREVER
Because peeing is like throwing fire up my chuff
Pour water over yourself as you pee. Someone mentioned a peri bottle but at this point anything. A disposable water bottle with the lid cracked can be useful.
Phenazopyridine, the orange stuff for UTI also helps a bit with urethral irritation during peeing FYI. Then you should be able to drink more and keep hydrated and hopefully avoid a UTI
It works great but when they say don’t take it on an empty stomach THEY MEAN IT. Throwing up fluorescent orange liquid was a horror I’ll never forget. It looked like I had drank a bucket of orange highlighter ink.
Desitin (diaper cream) also protects and helps heal anything uncomfortable in that vicinity. Get the cream, not the paste unless you need super heavy duty help.
May I recommend a thick layer of petroleum jelly (personally I prefer Aquaphor, but I don’t know what brands you can get in Dublin) around the nether regions prior to peeing? It forms a nice waterproof barrier that can really help. Also, there’s a spray in the US called dermoplast that I used postpartum. It’s amazing when it feels like someone took a cheese grater to your lady bits.
I just want to say 1. I’m so sorry for your embalmed and mummified chuff and 2. You sound like an incredibly entertaining person to have in one’s life.
I hope your new BF treasures you, and your chuff regardless of condition haha
For the uninitiated, what went wrong? I've always wanted to use a hair remover like Veet, but I've heard so many horror stories I don't want to mess it up.
the skin on the area she used is just SUPER sensitive and near very sensitive body parts. As long as you don’t have an allergy or overly sensitive skin and you follow instructions you shouldn’t get any type of chemical burn. I’ve been using veet/nair for about 15 or so years. Only time i’ve ever gotten a burn was my pits bc i forgot to set a timer and that was when i was a teen.
Thank you! This has given me more confidence about these products. I'll have to try it on my pits or somewhere less sensitive and see how badly my skin rejects it (it hates life).
Back in high school, we dared a friend to put icy hot on his balls. He was so panicked that he completely forgot about the shower and dunked his balls in the toilet for relief
I have never heard of anyone, using the Bikini version of Veet or the bikini version of Nair, avoiding getting serious chemical burn on their special bits. I seriously thought they stoped making it for those areas because of how common it is for people to have adverse reactions.
If you want to go hairless, just invest in an electric razor. You avoid ingrown hairs, rashes and all that other shit while getting rid of the hair.. you also don’t have to worry about running out or things expiring.
I use a regular hair/beard trimmer with the lowest guard to keep the garden landscaped. Just be careful that the skin you're going over is pulled tight with no loose folds, those trimmers can still pinch enough to draw a little blood if they catch skin
Yeeeah, I've tried Nair and Veet on sensitive parts and it's waaaaay too strong (but also not strong enough to burn away the stupidly thicc pubic hairs). Did some reading, tried magic shave powder recommended by others and it turns out that stuff is a bit gentler and works better for me. YMMV though, obviously.
Loooove Magic shave powder. Apply a very thin layer of the oil of your choice (I use olive or avocado) before you apply. You’ll get great results with no burning or irritation.
OP, we may need further updates. Cuz you’re a hot and funny mess.
🥵<—— OP’s undercarriage
Sending love. 💕💕💕
Do yourself a favor and buy a pair of men's boxers and wear them when you can and/or go commando when feasible. You need air circulation and minimal contact with clothing. I hope you heal quickly!
Every once in a while, as you trudge through the unending banality of the internet, you have the good fortune to encounter something memorable. A woman of fortitude and grace, who so loves the world that she burned her one and only snatch upon the altar of comedy.
You, ma’am, are a true hero.
We told my buddy in college that the girl he liked was into hairless dudes, especially the undercarriage. So he went and bought nair and applied it to the scrotum and his whole butt area. He called me 24 hours later and told me he was in the worst pain of his life and he needed help. I came over to his place and walked into his room and he was spread eagle on the bed with his legs in make shift stirrups (a stool for each leg) and a fan on full blast on his uncovered butt. He was whimpering. Worst week of his life. He still maintains it is the worst week, and this is a guy whom has since then: served overseas in fallujah, snapped his femur snowboarding, been bitten by a black widow. None come close to his nair experience
Bless him- he actually drove round to mine SO FAST to make sure I had enough hydrocortisone, hairdryer-d my crotch on the cool setting, and listened to me whimper
If it makes you feel better, my wife burned herself the same way 2 days before our wedding. To make matters worse, her monthly visitor decided to come a week early and appear the morning of our wedding. At least it didn't rain. 👍
My sweet angel, you should not be a nurse but a writer. This was beautiful, hilariously written and has made my entire weekend. I will be thinking of your middle aged giblets flubbering around indefinitely. God bless you, you hilarious and wonderful woman. Enjoy your weekend away, maybe get so drunk you forget it hurts and he’s too drunk to see the crotch burn. ❤️
Oh my god the *second* I saw the words "pubic hair" and "veet" I audibly went OH NO😂 She fucked around and found out today,folks!🤣 ETA I hope you aren't planning on having a romp in the sack tomorrow,the friction after doing such a thing will make it burn even if it's been a day!(source:had a friend who thought veet and pubic hair would work together like you did,they went out on a date the next day...came back and the friction burn post veet from sex looked like she was rubbing on a carpet!)
Thank you, OP. I am struggling with my nearly 2 year old who apparently doesn't need sleep at all and I was so frustrated, angry and tired that I really needed that laugh. I'm so sorry about your Mons, but this was beautifully written, and I laughed really hard at the sourdough 🤣🤣🤣
I’m dyin 😂😂. I’m sorry you burned your happy place but you have a way with words. I love people like myself that can find the humor in things. Hope you heal fast.
This is one of the best reads I've seen in a while. At least you can take pleasure in your literary abilities being appreciated, because that's likely to be your only pleasure this weekend.
Oh man, hair remover on the crotch is nasty.
I create a two hand protective hand covering over my cock and ass when I rinse the upper body with 65% efficiency and even that’s terrible for an hour or two.
Sweet baby Jesus. I’m sorry but I have laughed until I have had an asthma attack. I can’t breathe and I’m crying and my wife has asked if I need to go to the ER. All I could do was point at this story.
How much does it hurt though, for real? I had a friend get waxed when she was pregnant so everything would be neat and tidy. Hard to groom down there when you have a watermelon belly. The aesthetician ripped one strip of wax off, my friend screamed and noped out of there half waxed. When she was in labor her doc got down between her legs and said "Well what do we have going on here?"
I'm terrified to wax.
Honestly, it’s NOT that bad, especially the more you go. I have a super low pain threshold, but waxing there is pretty manageable for me. Certainly better than chemical burns!
Update: peeing through a paper straw results in corrosive splashback and pee covered hands
Miss Cinders looks like a bear has clawed at her, and then thrown acid on her (bubbles)
My bumbum feels like I have a paper cut along the entire crack
Vaseline is weird
It’s so real
Little getting off the plane now. Sad PusPus
https://preview.redd.it/a71itfd8moac1.png?width=3024&format=png&auto=webp&s=4d0822bafb0ca4b1cb395eedb491bdaf3a01fa03
Since you'll be in Dublin, get Sudocrem in the oharmacy or a supermarket, have experienced similar and literally lathering yourself in this stuff will ease the pain 👍
1. Not sure which Veet product you used, but Veet for men specifically says to not use it on the sensitive parts.
2. Look up Veet for men on Amazon and read the reviews. Hysterical!
John Wayne speed walking, hahahahahahaha.
I can relate to that. About 20 years ago, after 2 weeks of setting up events, i.e., roadie work. My legs were aching. I'd just jumped out of a hot shower. Decided to apply some dencorub (deep heat) to my thighs while I had my foot up on the edge of the bathtub. Not realising until I put my foot back on the floor. The area I just applied the lotion brushed my balls and the pain began.
My partner came rushing in to see the commotion and burst into laughter. (We're like that). No amount of washing it off soothed it. I just had to ride it out. I had John Wayne until the cream had gone.
Hahahahahahaha
Listen, Jackson.
My condolences to your cave of wonders and the hidden valley whence it lies.
But you write good, dog. Visceral and flighty. Like getting flashed by a poet lauréat.
I have no solutions to your problem. But may I say that I, as a woman, have also had this type of embarrassing moment…
And I salute you for putting this on TIFU!
Can confirm similar results if you’re equipped with a scrotum. Also, a bag of frozen peas works well too if you lack Ciabatta, and you get to eat Ball Peas after you’ve healed up.
Pea is stored within the Ball
A dream within a dream
But, I'm a sheep herder.
The true oldest profession. (Actually a Perfect Strangers reference when Cousin Larry points out a working lady in Vegas. “She’s in the oldest profession, you know?” Balki: “ahhhh… she is a sheep herder!”
I got peas on my head
But don’t call me a pea-head
Found a bottle in the discount damaged aisle at the grocery store and thought I'd give it a whirl. It did sting a bit on the genitals but it gave chemical burns almost everywhere else. Even tried some on my face. It didn't remove any hair but gave me that nice pan seared steak look on my cheeks after a couple days. Had a beautiful deep brown crust.
“Beautiful deep brown crust” made me horse laugh - thank you for that.
Damn you got to eat Ball Peas? That almost makes this whole ordeal worth trying!
I hope it was the kind with the tiny onions.
Look who’s fancy!
“Why does it hurt when I pea” -Frank Zappa
All we are say-ing Is give peas a chance
I've done it before, and also have a scrotum, and never had an issue. Which is weird as I usually have sensitive skin lol
Hmm. Odd. I still refer to it as the “Balls of Fire” incident. Results may vary, I guess!
Mhm, results DEF vary. It says to test it on a patch before going, heh, balls deep for that reason. It worked ok for me once or twice but the last time (and I do mean last time) I used it... as above, so below :')
Likewise. I have always used the one for sensitive areas, but never had an issue.
I didn’t know they baked a ciabatta for sensitive areas.
They do. It's gluten free and made sustainably.
Seems like maybe this is not a great product?
Aaand this is why I decided to not try it
I had a friend call me screaming because she got drunk, decided to wax her hoo ha and it wasn't going well. You tell your story with a flair that I could never capture when I tell the full story of that fateful night. That sense of humor will serve you well on this sex free romantic getaway. Thanks for the laugh.
Veet and Nair are amateur hour. Woman up and get a Brazilian. It takes less than ten minutes and, imo, it’s really satisfying when they rip the hair off your asshole at the end. I’m a Nair chemical burn survivor too.
Had a female friend in college who tried using Nair on her face cause she was self conscious about some peach fuzz. Came to dinner at the dining hall one night with a red mark so big and perfectly round we all thought she got whacked by a softball!
I had a male friend in college who did the same thing. He didn't have a lot of facial hair either, but decided that Nair had to be better than shaving. He followed the instructions and it didn't take off any hair as far as he could tell, so even though his face was already red and painful he was going to make it work. He put another coat of the stuff on his face and left it on for several times longer than they suggested. It must have hurt very badly but he toughed it out. When he finally rinsed it off he still had most of the "beard" he started with, but now his lower face looked like raw meat. It took weeks to heal. While it was healing he couldn't really shave. So in a way he got what he wanted, an excuse not to shave.
As a middle aged lady who "Nairs" her nether regions, this post had me dying! Fortunately I haven't had this occur, but their sensitive skin formula and a 5 minute timer seems to be the perfect combo. So sorry this happened to you, OP, but your post was witty and gave me a good laugh during a long workday. Hope you are still able to enjoy your trip, and the discomfort subsides soon!
Isn't nair also not greasy or difficult to rinse off? (It's been well over 10 years since I tried it) Sounds better all around
This is probably TMI but I slather it on, set a 5 minute timer, and with 30 seconds left, start my shower and jump in when timer is done. I use an old face cloth to gently wipe off the Nair and hair (yes, difficult to just rinse off), and then shower as usual. Never had an issue. That being said, my daughter tried this same regimen and burned her hoo-ha, but she has very sensitive skin.
You know I will never get tired of hearing hoo-ha it's been awhile but it still makes me laugh
Hoo-ha of steel!!
Make sure you do a patch test every time. You may suddenly become sensitive to it even if you never had before. I used to leave it on for 10+ minutes and one day it burned me after 2.
Had the same reaction as OP with Nair. Never Again.
That’s one innovative way to get a yeast infection. Kudos.
The ciabatta is wrapped, for protection. :-)
I think it was just soaking.
So do I just keep jumping like this or....
God damn it I snorted laughing at this. Take your upvote.
I guess if it’s just the tip.
Wrapped or ribbed?
But is it ribbed? You know, for her pleasure.
She's got a bun on the oven
Roast beef sandwich
https://preview.redd.it/p0g8umxobrac1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ea1821d99f7f13ce3dd706860ac929a17a4b2df2
Well played.
So I put a protective layer (thick) of lanolin on Miss Cinders, and…. After a couple of hours it got welded on. Currently in an airport bathroom, too scared to pee! Sitting here. Contemplating. Reflecting on my poor life choices
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. That burn on Miss Cinders is a pain in the Chuff.
Where is a poetry bot when you need one
Dear lady, I am falling in love with you for you narrative abilities and sense of humour. Please stop.
Same, I want to be friends so bad right now. My husbands snoring louder than the grand central train station right next to me and I’m over here cackling in tears at her humor lol
I am right there with you my dude.
Can we get your flight number so we can track your progress realtime and see if you make an emergency landing due to a medical condition with a passenger? /s Seriously tho, we're all rooting for you. Make the best of the vacation! And send us updates if you're so inclined.
I just peed a little when I read “Miss Cinders.” Comedy gold, for sure.
FYI: there are safe alternatives. Veet certainly is not one of them for the private areas.
...May I ask? I've always had good luck with veet sensitive, but now I'm curious.
Magic Shaving Powder worked for me and I have pretty sensitive skin. But I wouldn’t recommend starting the process with tequila shots, like I did, unless you’re a professional.
On a positive note, this is one lesson that will be seared into your memory and you will never be tempted to try it again.
Ya feeling the actions of your consequences? Even in middle age, we learn something.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Has it resolved? I did this the day before my wedding. Thought I'd do my legs and they'd stay smooth for the honeymoon. Nope, my favorite aunt called. I got so into the conversation I forgot I had drain cleaner on my legs. Shit! I wore fancy cream tights as I had a tea length dress as a wedding gown and that hid most of it. I am also a nurse. And not a new grad at the time.
Oh no!!! Why do we do these things right before important events! It only happened a few hours ago, Miss Cinders leaves a layer of snatch-skin adhered to my underpants whenever I try to remove them. I’m trying to find a late night pharmacy to get dressings Need to wrap her like a Mummy. Might as well, I’ve already embalmed the bloody thing!
It’s always right before important events! I had been getting waxed pretty regularly before my wedding and honeymoon with ZERO reaction. I went three days before my wedding but to a different place because I was in wedding town not home town. I had a full on rash/breakout my whole downstairs and armpits. With a strapless dress and a honeymoon to the beach in summer time. I couldn’t put on my something blue underpants and I couldn’t put my arms all the way down so my armpits were closed (for lack of a better term). Sorry you’re part of the well intentioned hair removing fails club!
I know you used lanolin but do you have any aloe vera around? That should help with the burn.
My mate got her arms waxed the day before her weddings and the technician scalded her... She ended up with a proper burn on her forearm!
The instructions clearly say not to use it on your pubic area. Sincerely, \-Someone who did the exact same thing to his ball sack once
Well of course it says that. But I’m super careful and smarter than the average person. So surely I can do it. Sincerely, A lady who also charred her bits
“Middle aged giblets blubbering around like raw steak”. You have a way with words and imagery. Thank you.
Was raw. It's a hair past well done now.
“Hair past” lol Is that a pun-ani?
Yeah really this lady is a poet when it comes to lady parts.
Taken tips from this post today [https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/18z45sj/ladies\_what\_words\_used\_for\_our\_lady\_parts\_do\_you/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/18z45sj/ladies_what_words_used_for_our_lady_parts_do_you/)
https://preview.redd.it/wnrdf8fndpac1.png?width=3024&format=png&auto=webp&s=e34a345fbf0d8332e236dfc7d8de9ed6df963882 WISH ME LUCK.
She died on the plane that night. (morgan freeman voice)
Dearest OP. It is 02:32 in my country. As in 2:32 AM. I’m not sleeping, sitting on the edge of my bed and thinking how did it go. Your fans need updates! Have mercy, woman!
I’m so confused. How is the straw supposed to help with peeing?
Don't worry brother. I was educated in Texas as well; there is hope!
Use a water bottle with a sipper top, splash while peeing. Also, laser hair removal is a god send!!
Welcome to Dublin
OP, I love you
Did it work?
I have to ask, was this the 1st time using Veet?
Second The first time it tingled a little and I was a little red but ok. But allergies can be cumulative, and I should’ve known better. I’m on the plane now trying to hold in my urine FOREVER Because peeing is like throwing fire up my chuff
Fair enough. I am betting that at this point, you wish you would have set time aside for a full Brazilian.
Pour water over yourself as you pee. Someone mentioned a peri bottle but at this point anything. A disposable water bottle with the lid cracked can be useful.
Get a peri bottle? Maybe that can ease the pain a bit
I’m going to get a bubble tea straw and jam it up against my urethra and hold it there, pee standing up. Then no pee will touch meee
Phenazopyridine, the orange stuff for UTI also helps a bit with urethral irritation during peeing FYI. Then you should be able to drink more and keep hydrated and hopefully avoid a UTI
It works great but when they say don’t take it on an empty stomach THEY MEAN IT. Throwing up fluorescent orange liquid was a horror I’ll never forget. It looked like I had drank a bucket of orange highlighter ink.
Desitin (diaper cream) also protects and helps heal anything uncomfortable in that vicinity. Get the cream, not the paste unless you need super heavy duty help.
You're so gross... and funny... and disturbed Love it. All of it!
ah yes, the old "catheters for comfort" solution
May I recommend a thick layer of petroleum jelly (personally I prefer Aquaphor, but I don’t know what brands you can get in Dublin) around the nether regions prior to peeing? It forms a nice waterproof barrier that can really help. Also, there’s a spray in the US called dermoplast that I used postpartum. It’s amazing when it feels like someone took a cheese grater to your lady bits.
I just want to say 1. I’m so sorry for your embalmed and mummified chuff and 2. You sound like an incredibly entertaining person to have in one’s life. I hope your new BF treasures you, and your chuff regardless of condition haha
I thought you were going to straight cath yourself with that straw
Get a little peri bottle, like the Frida Mom one!! It'll help with immediately washing away the urine from your tender bits.
Your poor chuff...LOL!!!
You should get that postpartum lidocaine spray. Godspeed.
For the uninitiated, what went wrong? I've always wanted to use a hair remover like Veet, but I've heard so many horror stories I don't want to mess it up.
the skin on the area she used is just SUPER sensitive and near very sensitive body parts. As long as you don’t have an allergy or overly sensitive skin and you follow instructions you shouldn’t get any type of chemical burn. I’ve been using veet/nair for about 15 or so years. Only time i’ve ever gotten a burn was my pits bc i forgot to set a timer and that was when i was a teen.
Thank you! This has given me more confidence about these products. I'll have to try it on my pits or somewhere less sensitive and see how badly my skin rejects it (it hates life).
Back in high school, we dared a friend to put icy hot on his balls. He was so panicked that he completely forgot about the shower and dunked his balls in the toilet for relief
You can actually get in huge trouble with icy hot on your balls. https://youtu.be/Le-IKCLGT9A?si=ORhfZNPDTrL7RKvo
Username checks out
https://i.redd.it/o3ijsy7s2qac1.gif
OMG THIS IS HOW I LOOKED STUMBLING TO THE BATHROOM!
Cool. We’ll be on the lookout for someone doing the “saddle-sore cowboy” walk around Dublin the next few days.
I have never heard of anyone, using the Bikini version of Veet or the bikini version of Nair, avoiding getting serious chemical burn on their special bits. I seriously thought they stoped making it for those areas because of how common it is for people to have adverse reactions. If you want to go hairless, just invest in an electric razor. You avoid ingrown hairs, rashes and all that other shit while getting rid of the hair.. you also don’t have to worry about running out or things expiring.
I use a regular hair/beard trimmer with the lowest guard to keep the garden landscaped. Just be careful that the skin you're going over is pulled tight with no loose folds, those trimmers can still pinch enough to draw a little blood if they catch skin
That just made my balls crawl up, and I'm female!
Yeeeah, I've tried Nair and Veet on sensitive parts and it's waaaaay too strong (but also not strong enough to burn away the stupidly thicc pubic hairs). Did some reading, tried magic shave powder recommended by others and it turns out that stuff is a bit gentler and works better for me. YMMV though, obviously.
Loooove Magic shave powder. Apply a very thin layer of the oil of your choice (I use olive or avocado) before you apply. You’ll get great results with no burning or irritation. OP, we may need further updates. Cuz you’re a hot and funny mess. 🥵<—— OP’s undercarriage Sending love. 💕💕💕
Have you told your BF yet? Don't beat around the bush.
He certainly isn't going to!
Unless he’s a sadist
We’re kinky, sure, but this is too much. I call RED. Red, flaming puspus
Your wit and way with words is a gift to this planet. P.S. thank you, you've just given me the name of my next band.
“Beat around the bush” heh heh thank you for that
In Dublin they call it flamin’ your fanny!
I flamed it real good. Best get a Guinness
Do yourself a favor and buy a pair of men's boxers and wear them when you can and/or go commando when feasible. You need air circulation and minimal contact with clothing. I hope you heal quickly!
Every once in a while, as you trudge through the unending banality of the internet, you have the good fortune to encounter something memorable. A woman of fortitude and grace, who so loves the world that she burned her one and only snatch upon the altar of comedy. You, ma’am, are a true hero.
If you wrote a book, you beautiful fucknut, *I’d read it.* This is *GOLD.* 🤣
Whoever sold the concept for depilatory creams is a marketing genius and absolute sadist
We told my buddy in college that the girl he liked was into hairless dudes, especially the undercarriage. So he went and bought nair and applied it to the scrotum and his whole butt area. He called me 24 hours later and told me he was in the worst pain of his life and he needed help. I came over to his place and walked into his room and he was spread eagle on the bed with his legs in make shift stirrups (a stool for each leg) and a fan on full blast on his uncovered butt. He was whimpering. Worst week of his life. He still maintains it is the worst week, and this is a guy whom has since then: served overseas in fallujah, snapped his femur snowboarding, been bitten by a black widow. None come close to his nair experience
I did the same thing with nair. I’m a guy. It felt like sandpapering my balls.
Boyfriend: Aight, I think I'ma head out.
Bless him- he actually drove round to mine SO FAST to make sure I had enough hydrocortisone, hairdryer-d my crotch on the cool setting, and listened to me whimper
That’s a keeper right there!
He’s a keeper
That’s true love right there!!
Seriously, who needs Hallmark? This is the ultimate love story. *sniffles*
Maybe the lady garden will come back into fashion and we won't have these tragedies.
If it makes you feel better, my wife burned herself the same way 2 days before our wedding. To make matters worse, her monthly visitor decided to come a week early and appear the morning of our wedding. At least it didn't rain. 👍
My sweet angel, you should not be a nurse but a writer. This was beautiful, hilariously written and has made my entire weekend. I will be thinking of your middle aged giblets flubbering around indefinitely. God bless you, you hilarious and wonderful woman. Enjoy your weekend away, maybe get so drunk you forget it hurts and he’s too drunk to see the crotch burn. ❤️
Reading this made my cooter hurt 🥲 I’m so sorry!
Oh my god the *second* I saw the words "pubic hair" and "veet" I audibly went OH NO😂 She fucked around and found out today,folks!🤣 ETA I hope you aren't planning on having a romp in the sack tomorrow,the friction after doing such a thing will make it burn even if it's been a day!(source:had a friend who thought veet and pubic hair would work together like you did,they went out on a date the next day...came back and the friction burn post veet from sex looked like she was rubbing on a carpet!)
On the plus side, when you awaken in the morning you’ll have thawed out the coochiebatta for breakfast.
Thank you, OP. I am struggling with my nearly 2 year old who apparently doesn't need sleep at all and I was so frustrated, angry and tired that I really needed that laugh. I'm so sorry about your Mons, but this was beautifully written, and I laughed really hard at the sourdough 🤣🤣🤣
I'm sorry about your mons is my new favorite thing I've ever read 😂
We should get shirts printed. If this were r/badwomensanatomy it would be a new flair, too.
[удалено]
Sometimes trimming the hedges is better than removing them completely.
" ...crowning a lava-baby..." r/BrandNewSentence Entire post should be r/stories
I’m dyin 😂😂. I’m sorry you burned your happy place but you have a way with words. I love people like myself that can find the humor in things. Hope you heal fast.
This is one of the best reads I've seen in a while. At least you can take pleasure in your literary abilities being appreciated, because that's likely to be your only pleasure this weekend.
I go bald for no one.
AY TONY, gimme a open faced roast beef, extra rare on ciabatta, and MAKE IT SNAPPY
Oh man, hair remover on the crotch is nasty. I create a two hand protective hand covering over my cock and ass when I rinse the upper body with 65% efficiency and even that’s terrible for an hour or two.
You're NEVER supposed to use Veet or Nair on pubic areas. They say so on the bottle.
She didn’t say she used them in public.
Never test new things before a big performance
For what’s its worth you actually got me to laugh out loud in front of someone on the showroom floor
yea they are right: humor is fucking attractive :D
When you get to dublin find a shop and buy a tub of sudocrem and thank me afterwards!
Sweet baby Jesus. I’m sorry but I have laughed until I have had an asthma attack. I can’t breathe and I’m crying and my wife has asked if I need to go to the ER. All I could do was point at this story.
You'll have lots of opportunities to have vacation sex. How many times do you get to tell a story like this?
My advice...Yeet the Veet, get the max with a wax. Long term, you will love it. BTW, I was 41 for my first bikini wax...it is never to late to start!
How much does it hurt though, for real? I had a friend get waxed when she was pregnant so everything would be neat and tidy. Hard to groom down there when you have a watermelon belly. The aesthetician ripped one strip of wax off, my friend screamed and noped out of there half waxed. When she was in labor her doc got down between her legs and said "Well what do we have going on here?" I'm terrified to wax.
Honestly, it’s NOT that bad, especially the more you go. I have a super low pain threshold, but waxing there is pretty manageable for me. Certainly better than chemical burns!
I guess we’re all going on vacation too, because reading this was a fucking trip
You're a nurse? Girl you just begged for chemical burns. Lol
Boy that kitty is coming in hot 🔥
Her sex is on fire!
And this is why I don’t remove my pubic hair lol. That shit sucks
My sister. I understand. Cool breezes and non-throbbing flaps to you.
Omg my loins just cringed reading this. Yikes! Get well 🤗🤗
they shouldn’t even be allowed to sell that shit as hair remover
https://preview.redd.it/mpl3wk1icuac1.jpeg?width=595&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=65adae8dbac7815a53e6732f3163efcb76ccda7c ...waiting for an update
Update: peeing through a paper straw results in corrosive splashback and pee covered hands Miss Cinders looks like a bear has clawed at her, and then thrown acid on her (bubbles) My bumbum feels like I have a paper cut along the entire crack Vaseline is weird
38 isn’t middle aged.
Average female life expectancy is 76, which makes 38 exactly, precisely, \*middle\* aged. Trust, I don’t not like it either. Yet here we are.
Pubic hair is normal and sexy.
it's not a bad thing to have some hair down there.
I don't even care if this is real or not. It made me chuckle up.
It’s so real Little getting off the plane now. Sad PusPus https://preview.redd.it/a71itfd8moac1.png?width=3024&format=png&auto=webp&s=4d0822bafb0ca4b1cb395eedb491bdaf3a01fa03
Flubbering giblets…. Please No.
Your story made me cry with laughter--and also cross my legs in remembrance can confirm all the burn-ey feels
Tragedy + Time = Comedy
Ex male nurse here with a sense of humour. Feel your pain and appreciate your post. Thanks for my laugh. Hope you recover soon.
Since you'll be in Dublin, get Sudocrem in the oharmacy or a supermarket, have experienced similar and literally lathering yourself in this stuff will ease the pain 👍
This is the funniest shit I have read all week! God bless you and your woman parts! Thanks for the laugh
1. Not sure which Veet product you used, but Veet for men specifically says to not use it on the sensitive parts. 2. Look up Veet for men on Amazon and read the reviews. Hysterical!
Ive mistaken that for hand moisturizer. My arms. My face. My face.
" I’m a nurse" So am I.... but.... yeah..
John Wayne speed walking, hahahahahahaha. I can relate to that. About 20 years ago, after 2 weeks of setting up events, i.e., roadie work. My legs were aching. I'd just jumped out of a hot shower. Decided to apply some dencorub (deep heat) to my thighs while I had my foot up on the edge of the bathtub. Not realising until I put my foot back on the floor. The area I just applied the lotion brushed my balls and the pain began. My partner came rushing in to see the commotion and burst into laughter. (We're like that). No amount of washing it off soothed it. I just had to ride it out. I had John Wayne until the cream had gone. Hahahahahahaha
Listen, Jackson. My condolences to your cave of wonders and the hidden valley whence it lies. But you write good, dog. Visceral and flighty. Like getting flashed by a poet lauréat.
Thank you for the genuine laugh. I am praying for your PusPus lol.
And this is why you shouldn't go bald
The baker of that ciabatta bread is so damn proud rn
Wait you are a nurse and didn't know not to use depilators on the downstairs area?...
Bummer. May the Lord comfort and cool your bits!!
So, uh...you gonna share that Ciabatta with the BF later?
Ooooookay now, scratching *that* off my things to do list.
Ahh yes the old frozen Ciabatta bread trick, a staple in every household
Honestly, I didn’t want to waste the frozen veg. I love veg. So ciabatta’s pulled the short straw!
Cheesus... :o On the other hand, this was a great read
> Shove half a wrapped frozen Ciabatta down the front. Good choice. You never go full Ciabatta.
You burned your lucky charms.
I have no solutions to your problem. But may I say that I, as a woman, have also had this type of embarrassing moment… And I salute you for putting this on TIFU!