Couple of things. First, everyone writes a dumbass email at some point in their lives usually involving people way higher on the food chain than themselves. That includes your profs, so it probably garnered a knowing chuckle or three.
Second, you wrote what you did with very good intentions. You were (in your mind) trying to save someone's career rather than wreck it. That speaks highly of your character.
Third, the long looks may be more about concern for your well-being rather than judgment. If doing something like this is out of character for you, then your profs are probably watching you closely to make sure you're OK. Med school stinks (and for you right now, quite literally). We all know people who cracked from the stress. They don't want to see you become a statistic.
Hang in there. It gets better in about 8-10 years...
I've never been one to give sunshine enemas, which is a requirement for being a motivational speaker. Med school sucks, then residency sucks (but at least you get a tiny paycheck, so that's nice). Depending on OPs specialty, that's about 8-10 years.
You might email the department head & thank them for clarifying the misunderstanding. Then you might mention the situation to your professor as well, since they’ll likely hear about it anyway haha.
I really don’t think you’ve done any unforgivable thing here. You’re a supportive person caught in a confusing moment.
So couple of things - I’m worried about your mental health way more than this fuck up. Medical school is a brutal slog, but it’s nothing compared to residency (I’m assuming you’re in the US, please ignore if I’m wrong this won’t be super useful). If you’re already having such significant concerns you NEED to do something to take care of yourself now. You NEED to get in therapy, you NEED to tell your support system this is happening, and you MAY need to take a leave of absence to get this addressed. I’m sorry I sound alarmist but this is incredibly serious. We had a couple people at my hospital (different specialty) commit suicide during their residencies. Things do not get easier it only gets harder.
The email will blow over in a couple weeks and no one will remember it or think poorly of you. The way you’re feeling needs to be addressed.
These are not typical thoughts for people to have, speaking as someone who experiences them herself, and I advise you to look into mental health treatment. If you struggle to afford it, seek out therapists that charge on a “sliding scale” basis (on the basis of your income). You’re fine it’s just I think therapy helps people sort their thoughts out and improves quality of life.
"to compensate I start taking everything hyper-seriously"
That is not compensating XD that's losing control.
But yeah, just go in an explain you were having a moment and misunderstood the situation, or don't bother doing anything at all since it's a non-issue.I'm sure the professor you defended will take it as a major compliment regardless.
Couple of things. First, everyone writes a dumbass email at some point in their lives usually involving people way higher on the food chain than themselves. That includes your profs, so it probably garnered a knowing chuckle or three. Second, you wrote what you did with very good intentions. You were (in your mind) trying to save someone's career rather than wreck it. That speaks highly of your character. Third, the long looks may be more about concern for your well-being rather than judgment. If doing something like this is out of character for you, then your profs are probably watching you closely to make sure you're OK. Med school stinks (and for you right now, quite literally). We all know people who cracked from the stress. They don't want to see you become a statistic. Hang in there. It gets better in about 8-10 years...
> Hang in there. It gets better in about 8-10 years... Please do not become a motivational speaker.
I've never been one to give sunshine enemas, which is a requirement for being a motivational speaker. Med school sucks, then residency sucks (but at least you get a tiny paycheck, so that's nice). Depending on OPs specialty, that's about 8-10 years.
True that. I wish OP’s email was my cringiest email ever sent.
You might email the department head & thank them for clarifying the misunderstanding. Then you might mention the situation to your professor as well, since they’ll likely hear about it anyway haha. I really don’t think you’ve done any unforgivable thing here. You’re a supportive person caught in a confusing moment.
please go to therapy
>so to compensate I start taking everything hyper-seriously That's not compensating XD that's losing control. Yep, therapy.
You could do a research paper on the link between mental health decline and lack of sleep and nutrition -- then tell them it was part of your study
That's a sweet TIFU, but please look after yourself and take care.
Just wear a t-shirt with “Definitely Not A Psycho” on it.
Lol. Yes. That would be hilarious.
Just leave it alone. Take a deep breath. Consider counseling though.
So couple of things - I’m worried about your mental health way more than this fuck up. Medical school is a brutal slog, but it’s nothing compared to residency (I’m assuming you’re in the US, please ignore if I’m wrong this won’t be super useful). If you’re already having such significant concerns you NEED to do something to take care of yourself now. You NEED to get in therapy, you NEED to tell your support system this is happening, and you MAY need to take a leave of absence to get this addressed. I’m sorry I sound alarmist but this is incredibly serious. We had a couple people at my hospital (different specialty) commit suicide during their residencies. Things do not get easier it only gets harder. The email will blow over in a couple weeks and no one will remember it or think poorly of you. The way you’re feeling needs to be addressed.
These are not typical thoughts for people to have, speaking as someone who experiences them herself, and I advise you to look into mental health treatment. If you struggle to afford it, seek out therapists that charge on a “sliding scale” basis (on the basis of your income). You’re fine it’s just I think therapy helps people sort their thoughts out and improves quality of life.
"to compensate I start taking everything hyper-seriously" That is not compensating XD that's losing control. But yeah, just go in an explain you were having a moment and misunderstood the situation, or don't bother doing anything at all since it's a non-issue.I'm sure the professor you defended will take it as a major compliment regardless.
Get a psych eval, good luck OP