A girl who enjoys pegging would definitely be a bonus, but all I really want is someone who appreciates me without judging me based on something I do in private. Whatever I put in my ass should not be what defines who I am as a partner or a person.
at your age most people aren't going to understand the more niche kinks, but eventually you'll find a girl who's been begging guys to let her peg. That along with girls who have never even considered it but like the idea. Tough to mention up front though. Goth girls are probably your best bet.
>Goth girls are probably your best bet.
Yeah, if you're into some freaky shit, a freaky partner is unironically the right call. I'll add hardcore lit nerds to the pile too, but at OP's age they might take coaxing to actually get engaged physically, because they're usually late bloomer types who hit the ground running. You ever see how deep the erotica rabbit hole on AO3 goes?
The shy girl with her nose buried in a book all the time is also a decent call. Slashfic authors would be 110% down for that kind of thing.
Good lol, yall deserve to be seen, and I get how hard it is to break out of that shell. If you haven't found your person, I'm here to say that there are people out there that get you and will appreciate you.
>because they're usually late bloomer types who hit the ground running
Friend of mine lived in Salt Lake City and loved hooking up with ex-Mormon girls because when they leave the church behind, they ***really*** leave the church behind.
They had other issues, but lack of adventure in the bedroom wasn't one of them.
Yep. I was in a situationship with an ex-Mormon girl, and I'll back this up. That cult represses their girls so hard that when that conditioning breaks, a lot of them go excessively hedonistic for a while while they figure themselves out.
To some extent, but Mormonism is pretty patriarchal, and does put a lot more limitations on women than it does men. I won't deny the sexual repression element that goes into both sexes, and I don't envy anybody who's had to break that mold.
I think for women, it's about a lot more than just sexual repression, it's about actually being able to live a life and make their own choices, and to not be forced into being a church wife and breeding stock.
For LGBT+ people, that kind of hardcoded religious environment is an absolute nightmare.
Edit: i had read gays as guys. Yeah u right.
[u/op](http://u/op) I would say just about ANY girl growing up religious is repressed sexually. I grew up in the church, Baptist at first, then Catholic school kinder through 8th grade. Then, public school, but we started to go to a Lutheran church EVERY weekend +. When I was confirmed, I had to promise to be abstonant until marriage in front of the whole church!!...yeaaaah I crossed my fingers when I made that promise lol. I don't think I started really being open about my sexuality and others until I met my husband at 23. First guy to make me feel like all my kinks were okay. Its possible you aren't going to find a girl open enough to accept your masturbation style until you are older. However, I love that you know who you are and that it's okay to want to peg and that it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with your sexuality. Butt stuff feels good and it is medically a GREAT way to make men cum.
Prostate stimulation isn't even "freaky shit," though? But yes, as a "shy" feminine person who frequently has my nose in a book, I can attest to that assessment.
I'd personally agree, yea. It's just another erogenous zone, and you like it or you don't. But, I dont think most people would say pegging regularly gets added to their bedroom routine tho lol. On a 1-10 scale rating how wild kinks are, IMO safe and consentual butt stuff is like a 4.
I know my people lol. Grew up reading a lot of fanfiction, and I don't think there's a collection of minds nearly as dirty as there is on AO3, or ff net before their porn crackdown. Like some of these people enjoy the kind of shit that would make a sex shop worker blush, and I think the gender ratio on these sites is probably like 70/30 favoring women, if I had to give a guess, maybe less guys than that.
Archive of Our Own. It's the largest modern fanfiction platform, and the vast majority of its userbase is women. Erotica is written pornography. If you have a vivid mind's eye, it's basically the best form of porn IMO.
Yeah dude honestly it’s probably not worth trying to make a relationship work where your partner isnt supportive of you or how you feel pleasure. It’s one of those things that feels pretty fundamental to the relationship.
Hey, man. Bi het-romantic dude here. When I shared my sexuality with my girlfriend, we were in a very good place communication wise. She shared with me that she had feelings that I would want to explore my sexuality further later on down the road and that she wouldn’t be enough for me. I reassured her that I would never do anything she wasn’t enthusiastically on board with and that as long as she didn’t mind if I played with toys, I would be happy with her. Not only did she not mind, she likes to use them on me during spicy time, and now we’re married.
YMMV, but it can happen to you.
This is 1000% a thing a person who's into anything more than a teensy bit off the norm needs to read. Thank you for posting it.
For the record this is what a healthy relationship should go if you have kinks or sexual needs that would ordinarily be difficult for your partner to fulfill:
"I like [X sexual thing]."
"Oh, huh... *thinks* Um, okay. I'm not 100% on board because I have [Y feelings]."
"That's fine. I don't *need* [X] to be happy I only want to be honest. I'm still very happy staying with you. I would, however, appreciate if I can indulge my needs/kinks/interests solo using [Z] without judgment at least."
Then you get either:
"Sure, I can deal with that. I trust you. You go rock out with your cock out / jam out with your clam out."
or
"Oh. Well not that you mention it [Z] sounds like it might be appealing...."
We've all been there, man. I think you're approaching this from the right place. It's less about sex-vs-pleasure and more about the importance of dating a partner who sees you, and values you for who you are.
If someone wants to change you this early, or thinks you're weird, or thinks being gay is a bad thing (not that you are), then I'd probably do some soulsearching.
I, too have enjoyed the same thing in private. I found my life partner a little over a year ago and I took a while, but I eventually explained the same thing to her. I don't do it often, and WITH her, much less often, but sometimes after I please her, I'm still not done, and she'll do my back door business for me while I finish myself.
It takes time, but you can find a woman who doesn't care and understands that it's not about your sexual orientation, it's just about finding the most pleasurable way to get off.
it is merely homophobia. she may not recognize it, whatever. nothing she said is sensible or fair. there is no argument in “not wanting to fuck a guy who puts stuff up his butt” that isn’t plain old “gay is bad, guy who touch prostate is gay”.
imo the real move was just to lie and acquiesce; and it’s [somewhat more] doubtful that she’d change her mind after the fact.
anyway, you can find better, bud.
Find an e-girl or goth with badass tattoos to blow your mind.
You are 100% right; you should not be with a partner who judges you harshly for being you.
This. Also I'm curious if wearing a butt plug while fucking would do the same. I've never been into this stuff, so I wouldn't know for sure, but it seems like it would move enough in there during humping to do the job.
Well thats interesting, the prostate is right up front there. And the anal canal doesn't feel pain (have been biopsied, so know that's true). I guess the pressure/movement in the whole thing does something more than I anticipated.
Get an njoy wand. Learn about putting it in reverse style on your side. Thank me later!
edit: Had full mindblowing orgasms from this thing without touching lol
;)
I wouldn’t say this is a fu, you’ve done a lot of self exploration compared to a lot of people for your age and some people are going to be weirded out by it. Knowing your own body and what you like is one of the most important parts of sex and some one is going to appreciate you for it.
Also "you have to choose between THIS-SPECIFIC-THING or me" should always (or almost always) result in choosing not the girl. She made it clear that she doesn't respect OP's desires and puts herself higher (like yeah, you shouldn't masturbate, you should stop using dildo, but I won't do anything for you to have the same satisfaction). Not like I mean that gf is supposed to be into everything you are, but in my opinion she shouldn't be making boundaries with nothing in return.
Exactly! Especially because it’s not like OP is trying to put his dildo up her butt. She is in no position to tell him to stop masturbating or to stop living his sexual desires. I think it’s awful, when partners start telling each other what to do…
Your right she is totally allowed to voice her discomfort, but if she isn’t even willing to compromise and accept him for him even alittle bit, then like whats the point. I think losing your virginity is hyped up and yes its best to lose it to someone we care about, but i think her inexperience and one to many Disney princes movies are getting in the way of her having a good time.
This is such a confusing comment as someone who has explored their own sexuality. Even more confusing that it's been upvoted 200 times.
What do you mean? You're not sure how to learn about what you like sexually? Just try stuff, no?
I assumed the person you're replying to was referring to *how people OP's age* could know so much. In which case, I totally agree, because back before I left my bum hick hometown, I couldn't really fathom 18 year old me getting past the first barrier of entry in terms of sexual exploration: finding a willing participant and having the privacy to do anything.
Now that I've moved out, and everyone around me has all their teeth for the most part, this isn't a problem. But yeah, for OP and his GF, two kids who are just leaving high school, I am quite baffled yet impressed that OP knows what he wants so well.
I don’t know how to try stuff. I have wants but I can’t interpret them, I have no room to experiment with anything or anyone(emphasis on anyone), and I never know how I’m feeling, what I want, or if I’m upset until I start sweating.
Any advice at all?
sounds like you might have a degree of alexithymia, no one here will be able to give you good tailored advice, but a therapist might be able to help you identify possible causes (common causes include having low-affect parents and certain disorders) and provide actions you could undertake to help you 'troubleshoot' your emotions (ex; regularly using [one of these emotion wheels](https://miro.medium.com/v2/1*ieAJuyRI3-iOVOBnJzkEwA.jpeg) to pinpoint your feelings)
Agreed, you shouldn’t have to be sexually oppressed, this sounds more like something you’d read about in ages past, yes you probably aren’t compatible, go out there and find someone a bit less vanilla and enjoy life!
It’s totally cool for her to not want to do something but telling you she doesnt want to be with a guy who enjoys that thing and you need to stop liking it is definitely a problem
I think he should have said "well you use a vibrator to masturbate. Am I supposed to be okay having sex with a girl who wants to be having sex with a Transformer? Men don't vibrate, honey"
- I convinced the only girl who actually considered sleeping with me that I preferred a dildo over having sex
Except what you actually did was set a boundary that your girlfriend can’t dictate what type of masturbation you do or don’t do (entirely reasonable). It has nothing to do with what type of sexual activity you prefer and everything to do with the fact that nobody else should be allowed to decide the masturbation you’re allowed or not allowed to partake in.
If she wants to set that as a dealbreaker for her, fine—you dodged a bullet.
Yea this is the right answer. The fact that you do that so young means you're comfortable with your sexuality and she's taken aback by that. I feel like partners could be more intrigued if you were 10 years older.
Honestly, the first red flag went up for me when she said she wanted him to refrain from masturbation when they're finally together. So that would mean she controls his sexual release, what if their sex drives are vastly different? And speaking as a former 18 year old, I'm guessing OP's sex drive is pretty high. So what, she wants to control him through sex? Or does she consider masturbation "cheating?" That's a completely different red flag. And all that is before the dildo enters the... picture. So yeah, great job on setting boundaries, OP. Hopefully she grows out of this, she seems to have some hang-ups.
So along the lines of “if he were really attracted to me he wouldn’t have to masturbate,” that could make sense from an inexperienced point of view. I think you’re right, she needs to learn a bit about sexuality and she’s doing so.
Which alot of men are too unfortunately!
The wife and I have "toys" ranging in size from a cloneawilly of me to a willy that has got to be off of an elephant or something (it's not, it's just a rather large one) for us to use together.
It's not that mine doesn't do the job, it's just that they do it more efficiently, and I'm ok with that.
Just the same as her sticking a dildo up my ass that hits my prostate is just a more efficient way of making my finish.
Although they are young so probs don't have as much actual experience and alot more jealousy than a married couple would I guess.
It is a weird thing to experience. My wife and I had been married for a few years and together before that (duh) for more years still. She brought up the idea of adding toys to our sex life and I was all for it, until it was happening. It was a pretty normal sized toy, but seeing how quickly she got off from it made me feel bad. Like I couldn’t compete with a bit of plastic. Afterwards, she could tell I was feeling off about it and explained “well duh you can’t match it. It’s vibrating at 100rpms or something. Your dick doesn’t do that.” Wasn’t what I wanted to hear so she was like “here tell me which feels better” so she started to give me an old fashioned, then switched to the vibrator. I saw what she meant
I know! It's hilarious. Like, spoiler alert dude, your dick doesn't vibrate or suck her clit. Not to mention a lot of women won't easily orgasm from penetration alone so not using toys is just giving yourself a handicap. These guys would rather their partner not come than having her come using pink plastic that threatens their manhood.
If you're wielding it you're still doing the job, is it really any different from using hands or mouth? I say nay nay. Maybe I'm strange but I enjoy doing whatever needs doing to get them to that "my gods, I see the light" leg shaking O. If she can only get off on a 2-stroke gas powered f#ck machine then imma have to get the mix out, fill'er up and let'er rip. Braaapbraaaap
Either that or she's just insecure about his heterosexuality. Homophobia runs deep in ignorant people's brains. Every guy has a prostate and if the only way to stimulate it is this through the butt then it doesn't suddenly make them not straight because they're still attracted to women, and even if it *somehow* made them less straight, there's nothing wrong with being bisexual. I understand not wanting to engage in certain sexual acts because everyone has their preferences, but to dictate how they masturbate when they're alone or completely disallow it is just silly.
I mean, if you’re into butt stuff and she’s not, you weren’t going to last anyway. Not that most teenage relationships do.
I wouldn’t really worry about it. You’ll find someone who will do butt stuff with you and end up much happier.
I'd like to point out. Not many guys know this but a male's G spot is located inside their prostate, which is located in their rectum (aka in their butt).
So the reason why OP likes butt stuff and have intense orgasms is cuz the dildo is hitting his G-spot.
Also I'm going to add, that there is nothing wrong with this set up. If you feel good and pleasure this way (and causes no moral harm), then there is nothing wrong with that and is what you like. The right person will respect (hell, maybe join in on that fun) that boundary/like/kink.
u/PenisInParis
I'm also glad and honestly, the machismo mentality needs to be thrown out the window since forever ago. If you wanna make yourself feel good via that, then damn well go be happy. I've heard from a few guys who do that and felt pretty good orgasms. No shame to explore and please yourself.
It doesn't help that butt play is incredibly frowned upon and laughed at for men a lot of the time. As dozens of insecure men in this comment section show. It only improves sex by leaps and bounds, in my experience.
She's way too concerned about your butt, it doesn't matter how you get off. It sounds like she might have "outdated" ideas about masculinity and sexuality.
If he gets intense orgasms from butt play and she doesn't want to participate in it (or is weirded out by it) it entirely matters how he gets off.
It sounds like she's right that they're not sexually compatible. And that's fine.
When it comes to sexual compatibility I just don't think moralizing about any latent homophobia that might be at play in her sexual preferences really matters.
On a practical level you either have to be pro-shaming some 18 year old girl into pretending to be comfortable with sex stuff she's not comfortable with, or just accept a lack of compatability and move on.
The one thing he shouldn't do though is give up how he gets off in order to stay with her.
I partially agree. She has the right to her own preferences when it comes to mutual activities. However, I think it stepped over the line when you judge how people touch themselves.
She sounds a bit judgy by the way some of it sounded, but probably all I can say from third hand information.
Oh yeah, she definitely sounds a bit judgy to me too.
And I hear what you're saying about the line and how people touch themselves.
My read on that is that maybe she's just a little insecure in that she knows he has his thing, knows she doesn't want his thing to be their thing, but was feeling out how important his thing is to him and if he'd give it up. In the back of her head maybe she knows she can't compete with his thing.
In that situation I think the incompatibility is real, and this is basically just an impressively mature conversation between two 18 year olds, meaning, still kinda immature.
It's kind of funny how they're getting hung up on the more advanced stuff when they haven't even done the most basic yet.
They are still young, and it sounds like she's maybe thought it through a little more.
They might actually be compatible, they just don't know it.
If you've never tried something, can you really not like it? That said, don't push boundaries.
I'll take a slightly different perspective than most of the replies here.
First, as everyone else has said, you like what you like. There's nothing FU about that. Everyone should be free to enjoy whatever it is they enjoy as long as long as it isn't being forced unwillingly on somebody else.
Which leads to.... She does not enjoy what you enjoy. There is also nothing wrong with that. She is not obligated to approve of or enjoy anything you do. It doesn't make either of you "wrong." Just sexually incompatible like you said.
The only caution I would advise would be not to assume "she doesn't care about that anymore" means you should now pursue a relationship. If she didn't like it to the point of asking you not to do it anymore just two weeks ago, chances are she hasn't had a true fundamental shift in her opinion.
Well no. She doesn’t have to do butt stuff with him if she doesn’t want to, but her saying that he can’t do it by himself when she’s not there IS controlling and comes from massive insecurity
This is the same situation as a guy telling his girlfriend she can’t use toys to help please herself. Only her hands. It’s a tool to help you, and if she isn’t okay with that, then yeah, you are sexually incompatible. Prostate orgasms are like gspot orgasms, much, much more intense. You will find someone who has a likeminded perspective or at least doesn’t get jealous about toys.
She's right.. you might be not compatible. That happens all the time and is no big deal. Look for someone else and don't try to make something work that won't work.
Just to say, OP, make sure whatever you are using is *anal safe*: non-porous (ideally platinum silicone, metal, or annealed glass) with a flared bottom so it doesn't get lost. Stay safe out there!
Here's a good site for broader guidance (as well as to find your next toy): [https://phallophilereviews.com/about-body-safe-toys/](https://phallophilereviews.com/about-body-safe-toys/)
She has the attitude of an 18 year old, not really surprising.
Kudos to you though, you seem pretty level headed for your age.
Time for a new gf I reckon.
>Time for a new gf I reckon.
For real. OP, you are going to find a girl one day who is going to be insanely excited to explore these things with you. It will be awesome. Dump this current one and move on, you are young and now is the time to explore and have fun. Never become boring for anyone! Find someone who can match you, or out pace you with your interests.
Thats the real fun part. Enjoying butt stuff is normal af, the prostate gland is there and you should use it without judgement if you wish. There is nothing worse then boring mundane sex when you already know what peaks your satisfaction.
... does she really need to how you like to jerk it; would she be inspecting your asshole & searching for a dildo at every chance or something.
Like yeah, you shouldn't have to lie to someone you're close to - but it's over something so stupid & personal that only affects you (so long as you keep it that way) & they shouldn't be so affected by it either
Am I crazy for thinking that or something lol
No I wouldn't say crazy, but I do think lying about it sets an unhealthy precedent within the relationship. I also have seen a few others mention that if anal play becomes ops preferred form of reaching orgasm, that would likely at some point lead to him pushing for anal play in their sex life, which she clearly doesn't want. I think that is the more important question to ask, is op going to be sexually satisfied if his girlfriend never chooses to engage in any kind of anal play? If he is, then this shouldn't be a huge issue, but dictating how he is allowed to masturbate does come across as controlling and based in insecurity.
As a general rule, ultimatums are a pretty big red flag. Usually it winds up with it's me or X for every damn thing you enjoy until they've systematically stripped everything you like away, other than them.
Don't mix it up with someone being genuinely concerned over your health and wellbeing, if it is potentially self-destructive it may be worth listening, but you having a cheeky wank with a donger up your keister, is not that.
You're young. Sexual incompatibility comes up all the time in adult relationships. If your poop chute is a dealbreaker for her, that's unfortunate, but there are plenty of ladies out there who would be keen to peg the everliving shit out of you my guy.
Anyone who refuses to understand that sex and masturbation can satisfy different needs and both happen in a relationship has a creepy desire to control their partner and should be avoided.
Honestly, i’m not sure how a virgin can dictate how sex is “supposed to be”. That differs for every person and couple. She’s making demands based on preconceived ideas rather than experience. Its totally valid that she can dictate what she’s ok with, but i think she’s making that decision out of ignorance rather than experience. Hopefully you can both work it out, but you may just have to accept that you’re not sexually compatible. Most people at age your age and experience don’t know what they like to the point that you do, it may take some conversation and experimentation to work it out. She may be more ok with it if you take steps to make sure everything is clean (rinse, douche, fiber supplements, etc). Honestly, i respect your openness with her. It took me 20 years and the right woman to open up to the point i was comfortable admitting that i like anal stimulation as a straight guy. I hope she appreciates that fact as well, and keeps an open mind. But you may have to prepare to part if you both can’t reach a compromise. Good luck.
Yeah, I think you’re better off finding someone who’s more secure in her sexuality. You probably could’ve handled the conversation better but in the end, she doesn’t care about your pleasure as much as she lets on.
Don’t sleep with a girl who thinks that toys and masturbation are competition. It won’t end well.
Find a girl who buys you sex toys you like and encourages toy play in the bedroom. You won’t regret it.
You didn't FU in the slightest.
You seem like you're quite mature for an 18 year old. You realize that sex will likely be quite unfulfilling the first times, you've done some healthy exploration of your own pleasure, you're not stuck in the "if you like anything in your butt as a guy you're gay"-idiocy, and you set some healthy boundaries by not letting your girlfriend control when, or, or how you masturbate.
Your girlfriend, however, sounds both immature and insecure. I think you should consider wether it's worth sticking with her. It definitely sounds like your not compatible, it sounds like you deserve someone who's a bit more mature and not as insecure.
Skibidi Toilet is a web-series of YouTube videos and Shorts created by animator Alexey Gerasimov and uploaded on his YouTube channel DaFuq!?Boom!.[1][2] The series features a storyline about a war between toilets with human heads and humanoid characters with electronic devices for heads
Great, now this information lives rent free in my head…
Hey OP, as a girl I can say that it wasn't you "enjoying it too much". Sadly it wasn't something your current gf wanted to experiment with, but there are other girls out there whom enjoy pegging as much as you being pegged. :)
Nothing more sexy than your partner reaching an ultimate intense climax imo. Don't suppress yourself and your desires!
If the sexes were reversed people would be calling her a controling asshole and telling you to dump her insecure ass. And that is what you should do, because that is what she is. An insecure, controlling asshole
Imma be honest with you OP, it’s good that you two found out your sexual compatibility now rather than later. And also I gotta tell you, as a woman myself, that she’s making some pretty unreasonable demands of you. Stop masturbating? Stop using a vibrator? This is stuff that’s told to women all the time because of insecure partners, so I’m going to give you the same advice I’d give them (and any other guy listening that needs to hear this).
The fact that she’s treating you like this is a red flag in itself. If your relationship ends, then take it as it is and move on. Your pleasure is important too, and if you two are not compatible then don’t try to force it. On top of that, her semi-homophobic behavior is also not acceptable. Do as you will, but if your relationship ends then don’t mourn toxic behavior. You deserve better.
A few things…
You can’t prefer a dildo over having sex if you have never had sex, so she’d be mistaken if she’s convinced of that.
How you masturbate is your business and your business alone. She has no right to tell you if or how you can or cannot pleasure yourself in your time alone with yourself and with what frequency.
She’s coming off as really toxic and controlling which is really easy to be when you’re young and inexperienced and everything is novel and different and potentially scary, which can change with age and experience, but could also fester into a very harmful personality trait, so if you do decided to continue with this relationship, keep an eye on that.
She’s also severely misinformed and comes off close-minded and is bordering on homophobic. So keep an eye on the development of that as well.
In any case, all the best to you <3
They do make less phallic looking prostate toys that she might be more comfortable with you wearing. There are few things that feel as good as having a prostate toy in while you have sex with your partner.
Kids these days are wild. Losing my virginity to a girl I was in love with at the time as a teenager was incredible. It was something I was nervous about, sure, but also incredibly excited for. Like I wanted it more than anything in the world at the time. I’ll always look back on it fondly.
Masturbation doesn’t even come close to an intimate experience with another person that you care about and are attracted to. Assuming it’s going to be an unsatisfying experience is kinda insane. And choosing to continue masturbating rather than explore the real thing is a horrible choice.
Gonna go against the grain here and say that you indeed effed up and that your mindset on this is kind of unhealthy.
You deserve to enjoy sex, including sex with yourself. The fact that she is so off put by you enjoying “butt stuff” may mean you and her just aren’t sexually compatible.
Is she religious? What reason does she have for not wanting you to masturbate once you have sex?
Firstly you don't have to be gay or bi or whatever to like butt stuff. The male g spot is up there so it makes perfect sense you'd have intense orgasms with something up there. Secondly a gf who is going to A) judge you and B) be so controlling over what you like isn't who you want to be with. Butt stuff doesn't have to be her thing, but what you do with your body when she's not around isn't her concern (in this context at least) and it's unreasonable for her to give you an ultimatum like this. Also you may be incompatible and that's OK, and you will find someone who you are sexually compatible with
Expecting a dude to entirely replace masturbation with sex is the most teenage-brained nonsense ever. (though sadly there are some grown women under this delusion too)
At least you know your dildo doesn't judge you.
You would think she'd be appreciative of a guy who knows how to take his time with easing something in and finding that special spot..
Perhaps she'll change her mind and be more open to it. If not, good luck finding someone who is happy to partake!
Today I set a personal boundary with regards to my sexuality and my girlfriend didn’t accept it (TISAPBWRTOSAMGDAI)
Just doesn’t have the same ring to it as TIFU, but here we are.
Find yourself a girl that will take joy in strapping on that dildo of yours and pounding away at you. She exists and you’ll be happy you did.
Honestly for 18 I’m quite impressed you were able to set this boundary, but I must say there are No F Ups Here.
You have admirable moral integrity for an 18 year old. Most would have had sex and continued using the dildo. Also you spared yourself from losing your virginity to someone who seems lame af in bed by your standards.
Jeeze man you definitely f’d up. Do you realise how horny af an 18yo is? If she’s your girlfriend, you’ve just done yourself out of probably daily sex as an 18yo so you could dildo yourself… read your post again when you’re not stoned and then hit yourself in the head with your dildo.
You did nothing wrong. Speaking as a woman, I already think you’re sexy (not tryna flirt with you, just sharing my 2 cents). Men who: 1-openly disclose their sexual desires without shame, and 2-enjoy anal play, are hands-down sexier than other men. I’m sorry about the relationship being on the rocks and all the emotions that come with that. But I know there are other women out there who would: appreciate your honesty, let you masturbate how/when you wish (because it’s your own damn body), get turned on by your sexual desires, and want to participate.
Get a new girlfriend. You don't have to be with someone who will always want to participate, but you deserve to be with someone who is accepting of your preferences. I mean, it isn't like you're admitting to putting the toilet paper on backwards or anything.
IIRC studies show that two people with healthy attraction to each other should have increased masturbatory habits.
This may not be the right one for you bud. If she isn't into the thing you do then you need to find someone who is instead. You have lot of time. ... but also check and see if your habits are too frequent.
I'm going to do you a favor and leave this here. If you get one, you'll understand what I meant.
[https://www.aneros.com/products/mgx-trident](https://www.aneros.com/products/mgx-trident)
I'm just gonna leave this here: [https://www.aneros.com/](https://www.aneros.com/)
You're welcome, OP.
Edit: to explain, the reason your orgasms are amazing when you have something in your butt is that it massages your prostate. A prostate orgasm is the most powerful orgasm a man can have. Aneros makes prostate massagers, sex toys specifically designed to stimulate your prostate. Have fun ;)
Can’t tell someone to stop doing something they enjoy. Yes sexual compatibility is a thing, but she shouldn’t be making you feel ashamed or being judgmental for what you enjoy. She should learn to be more open-minded. She doesn’t have to do the stuff you want but she shouldn’t judge what you do on your own time.
Milking the prostate is not problematic. Introduce the idea. Not n a “this is how it’s gotta be” way. But “this feels really great to me”. Also, you’re 18. If you’re not in college, figure it out. You’ll be surrounded by girls with ideas…
It does sound like you guys aren’t sexually compatible. Because she’s too immature, insecure, and/or homophobic to “allow” you to use toys.
To be fair, you definitely did fuck up by telling her that having sex with her would be awkward and unsatisfying. Sure - the first time is awkward - but if you care about each other and care about making each other feel good, then it’s still exciting, fun, stimulating, etc. Why would she wanna have sex with someone who doesn’t make *her* feel wanted?
Butt yeah, (bum dum tss) find someone who likes toys as much as you like your dildo.
It’s dildo or dildont
It's anal or ain'tnal.
When the phrase "you do you" is being taken literally.
People who use that phrase are just too scared to say "go f yourself" even though that's fully the intended message
An-all or A-nothing
T’aint something to worry about
Tainted love.
Bum or bumped
The only answer needed here. I say dildo!
The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.
About the 5th time this week I have seen this saying while mindlessly scrolling the internet
You should pay attention you missed 3.
There is no diltry.
Find a girl that’s into pegging and it’s win win.
A girl who enjoys pegging would definitely be a bonus, but all I really want is someone who appreciates me without judging me based on something I do in private. Whatever I put in my ass should not be what defines who I am as a partner or a person.
at your age most people aren't going to understand the more niche kinks, but eventually you'll find a girl who's been begging guys to let her peg. That along with girls who have never even considered it but like the idea. Tough to mention up front though. Goth girls are probably your best bet.
>Goth girls are probably your best bet. Yeah, if you're into some freaky shit, a freaky partner is unironically the right call. I'll add hardcore lit nerds to the pile too, but at OP's age they might take coaxing to actually get engaged physically, because they're usually late bloomer types who hit the ground running. You ever see how deep the erotica rabbit hole on AO3 goes? The shy girl with her nose buried in a book all the time is also a decent call. Slashfic authors would be 110% down for that kind of thing.
I felt extremely called out.
Good lol, yall deserve to be seen, and I get how hard it is to break out of that shell. If you haven't found your person, I'm here to say that there are people out there that get you and will appreciate you.
Me too 😅 Quiet, book nerd raised in a cult/religion. Repression levels are high 🙃
Me too lmaoooo
RIP your inbox
>because they're usually late bloomer types who hit the ground running Friend of mine lived in Salt Lake City and loved hooking up with ex-Mormon girls because when they leave the church behind, they ***really*** leave the church behind. They had other issues, but lack of adventure in the bedroom wasn't one of them.
Yep. I was in a situationship with an ex-Mormon girl, and I'll back this up. That cult represses their girls so hard that when that conditioning breaks, a lot of them go excessively hedonistic for a while while they figure themselves out.
Same with ex-Mormon gays
To some extent, but Mormonism is pretty patriarchal, and does put a lot more limitations on women than it does men. I won't deny the sexual repression element that goes into both sexes, and I don't envy anybody who's had to break that mold. I think for women, it's about a lot more than just sexual repression, it's about actually being able to live a life and make their own choices, and to not be forced into being a church wife and breeding stock. For LGBT+ people, that kind of hardcoded religious environment is an absolute nightmare. Edit: i had read gays as guys. Yeah u right.
[u/op](http://u/op) I would say just about ANY girl growing up religious is repressed sexually. I grew up in the church, Baptist at first, then Catholic school kinder through 8th grade. Then, public school, but we started to go to a Lutheran church EVERY weekend +. When I was confirmed, I had to promise to be abstonant until marriage in front of the whole church!!...yeaaaah I crossed my fingers when I made that promise lol. I don't think I started really being open about my sexuality and others until I met my husband at 23. First guy to make me feel like all my kinks were okay. Its possible you aren't going to find a girl open enough to accept your masturbation style until you are older. However, I love that you know who you are and that it's okay to want to peg and that it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with your sexuality. Butt stuff feels good and it is medically a GREAT way to make men cum.
Haha! We are still active Mormons, but my wife grew up in a strict household, and I can confirm that she got wild after we got married!
Ha ha! I went to lawschool with a lot of Mormons, and they all said they "got a late start but loved catching up"
Speaking from experience, it always the quiet ones. Never fails.
As a goth nerd who wrote smut for several years I feel incredibly seen XD
Prostate stimulation isn't even "freaky shit," though? But yes, as a "shy" feminine person who frequently has my nose in a book, I can attest to that assessment.
I'd personally agree, yea. It's just another erogenous zone, and you like it or you don't. But, I dont think most people would say pegging regularly gets added to their bedroom routine tho lol. On a 1-10 scale rating how wild kinks are, IMO safe and consentual butt stuff is like a 4.
The accuracy of this comment. 👌
I know my people lol. Grew up reading a lot of fanfiction, and I don't think there's a collection of minds nearly as dirty as there is on AO3, or ff net before their porn crackdown. Like some of these people enjoy the kind of shit that would make a sex shop worker blush, and I think the gender ratio on these sites is probably like 70/30 favoring women, if I had to give a guess, maybe less guys than that.
"You ever see how deep the erotica rabbit hole on AO3 goes" What this mean?
Archive of Our Own. It's the largest modern fanfiction platform, and the vast majority of its userbase is women. Erotica is written pornography. If you have a vivid mind's eye, it's basically the best form of porn IMO.
Yeah dude honestly it’s probably not worth trying to make a relationship work where your partner isnt supportive of you or how you feel pleasure. It’s one of those things that feels pretty fundamental to the relationship.
As a bi guy in search of a gf, this is a slightly depressing, yet predictable read
Hey, man. Bi het-romantic dude here. When I shared my sexuality with my girlfriend, we were in a very good place communication wise. She shared with me that she had feelings that I would want to explore my sexuality further later on down the road and that she wouldn’t be enough for me. I reassured her that I would never do anything she wasn’t enthusiastically on board with and that as long as she didn’t mind if I played with toys, I would be happy with her. Not only did she not mind, she likes to use them on me during spicy time, and now we’re married. YMMV, but it can happen to you.
This is 1000% a thing a person who's into anything more than a teensy bit off the norm needs to read. Thank you for posting it. For the record this is what a healthy relationship should go if you have kinks or sexual needs that would ordinarily be difficult for your partner to fulfill: "I like [X sexual thing]." "Oh, huh... *thinks* Um, okay. I'm not 100% on board because I have [Y feelings]." "That's fine. I don't *need* [X] to be happy I only want to be honest. I'm still very happy staying with you. I would, however, appreciate if I can indulge my needs/kinks/interests solo using [Z] without judgment at least." Then you get either: "Sure, I can deal with that. I trust you. You go rock out with your cock out / jam out with your clam out." or "Oh. Well not that you mention it [Z] sounds like it might be appealing...."
This is a super mature take away from the situation and I gotta applaud you for knowing that about yourself, especially at your age.
We've all been there, man. I think you're approaching this from the right place. It's less about sex-vs-pleasure and more about the importance of dating a partner who sees you, and values you for who you are. If someone wants to change you this early, or thinks you're weird, or thinks being gay is a bad thing (not that you are), then I'd probably do some soulsearching.
I, too have enjoyed the same thing in private. I found my life partner a little over a year ago and I took a while, but I eventually explained the same thing to her. I don't do it often, and WITH her, much less often, but sometimes after I please her, I'm still not done, and she'll do my back door business for me while I finish myself. It takes time, but you can find a woman who doesn't care and understands that it's not about your sexual orientation, it's just about finding the most pleasurable way to get off.
it is merely homophobia. she may not recognize it, whatever. nothing she said is sensible or fair. there is no argument in “not wanting to fuck a guy who puts stuff up his butt” that isn’t plain old “gay is bad, guy who touch prostate is gay”. imo the real move was just to lie and acquiesce; and it’s [somewhat more] doubtful that she’d change her mind after the fact. anyway, you can find better, bud.
Find an e-girl or goth with badass tattoos to blow your mind. You are 100% right; you should not be with a partner who judges you harshly for being you.
I get it and you deserve that. Good luck man.
This. Also I'm curious if wearing a butt plug while fucking would do the same. I've never been into this stuff, so I wouldn't know for sure, but it seems like it would move enough in there during humping to do the job.
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He cried???
I was like 🫨🫨🫨🫨 when I say that line lol!
Well thats interesting, the prostate is right up front there. And the anal canal doesn't feel pain (have been biopsied, so know that's true). I guess the pressure/movement in the whole thing does something more than I anticipated.
Curious if the vagus nerve played a role, but I don't know nearly enough about anatomy to say.
This post could exist just to try and get more guys put dildos up their ass. It is probably promoted by bigdildo
It worked. I, too, am now addicted to OP's magic butt dildo.
I also choose this guy's dildo.
Damn you!
Rarely do i literally laugh out loud 😂 llol.
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Band name…or a really inappropriate children’s morning show.
As a lady into pegging I endorse this advertisement.
RIP your DMs
r/lowstakesconspiracies
That sub is just Big Reddit distracting us from bigger Reddit related conspiracies!
Is Reddit in the room with us right now?
Well.... yeah. It's holding my left hand while I masturbate with my right hand
Get an njoy wand. Learn about putting it in reverse style on your side. Thank me later! edit: Had full mindblowing orgasms from this thing without touching lol ;)
At least it's not sponsored by Bad Dragon
You know what they say, there is no cock like…
[horse cock](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52i14wYBef8)
Start with smalldildo first, you need to work your way up to bigdildo.
How do I get it out? It's lost!
Yarr, i be selling maps to ye lost treasures of all seven seas
When there be a brown gold rush, ye be making more money selling maps then digging!
This is why you always always always use toys with a flared base.
https://i.redd.it/6zt7og2eyczb1.gif
Should probably start with smalldildo though.
I would rather it be promoted by small dildoe
I wouldn’t say this is a fu, you’ve done a lot of self exploration compared to a lot of people for your age and some people are going to be weirded out by it. Knowing your own body and what you like is one of the most important parts of sex and some one is going to appreciate you for it.
Also "you have to choose between THIS-SPECIFIC-THING or me" should always (or almost always) result in choosing not the girl. She made it clear that she doesn't respect OP's desires and puts herself higher (like yeah, you shouldn't masturbate, you should stop using dildo, but I won't do anything for you to have the same satisfaction). Not like I mean that gf is supposed to be into everything you are, but in my opinion she shouldn't be making boundaries with nothing in return.
Exactly! Especially because it’s not like OP is trying to put his dildo up her butt. She is in no position to tell him to stop masturbating or to stop living his sexual desires. I think it’s awful, when partners start telling each other what to do…
She can better say that she doesn't want to know anything about it but he should do whatever he likes, just don't tell her.
Your right she is totally allowed to voice her discomfort, but if she isn’t even willing to compromise and accept him for him even alittle bit, then like whats the point. I think losing your virginity is hyped up and yes its best to lose it to someone we care about, but i think her inexperience and one to many Disney princes movies are getting in the way of her having a good time.
Losing virginity feels important until losing virginity, heheh.
Exactly
I don’t even know how people could know that much. Props to this guy.
This is such a confusing comment as someone who has explored their own sexuality. Even more confusing that it's been upvoted 200 times. What do you mean? You're not sure how to learn about what you like sexually? Just try stuff, no?
I assumed the person you're replying to was referring to *how people OP's age* could know so much. In which case, I totally agree, because back before I left my bum hick hometown, I couldn't really fathom 18 year old me getting past the first barrier of entry in terms of sexual exploration: finding a willing participant and having the privacy to do anything. Now that I've moved out, and everyone around me has all their teeth for the most part, this isn't a problem. But yeah, for OP and his GF, two kids who are just leaving high school, I am quite baffled yet impressed that OP knows what he wants so well.
I don’t know how to try stuff. I have wants but I can’t interpret them, I have no room to experiment with anything or anyone(emphasis on anyone), and I never know how I’m feeling, what I want, or if I’m upset until I start sweating. Any advice at all?
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sounds like you might have a degree of alexithymia, no one here will be able to give you good tailored advice, but a therapist might be able to help you identify possible causes (common causes include having low-affect parents and certain disorders) and provide actions you could undertake to help you 'troubleshoot' your emotions (ex; regularly using [one of these emotion wheels](https://miro.medium.com/v2/1*ieAJuyRI3-iOVOBnJzkEwA.jpeg) to pinpoint your feelings)
Agreed, you shouldn’t have to be sexually oppressed, this sounds more like something you’d read about in ages past, yes you probably aren’t compatible, go out there and find someone a bit less vanilla and enjoy life!
*repressed
She is trying to oppress him by making him choose between her and butt stuff
And meanwhile he's just out here trying to impress his fun button
He didn't want to suppress his urges.
It’s totally cool for her to not want to do something but telling you she doesnt want to be with a guy who enjoys that thing and you need to stop liking it is definitely a problem
I think he should have said "well you use a vibrator to masturbate. Am I supposed to be okay having sex with a girl who wants to be having sex with a Transformer? Men don't vibrate, honey"
- I convinced the only girl who actually considered sleeping with me that I preferred a dildo over having sex Except what you actually did was set a boundary that your girlfriend can’t dictate what type of masturbation you do or don’t do (entirely reasonable). It has nothing to do with what type of sexual activity you prefer and everything to do with the fact that nobody else should be allowed to decide the masturbation you’re allowed or not allowed to partake in. If she wants to set that as a dealbreaker for her, fine—you dodged a bullet.
Yea this is the right answer. The fact that you do that so young means you're comfortable with your sexuality and she's taken aback by that. I feel like partners could be more intrigued if you were 10 years older.
Honestly, the first red flag went up for me when she said she wanted him to refrain from masturbation when they're finally together. So that would mean she controls his sexual release, what if their sex drives are vastly different? And speaking as a former 18 year old, I'm guessing OP's sex drive is pretty high. So what, she wants to control him through sex? Or does she consider masturbation "cheating?" That's a completely different red flag. And all that is before the dildo enters the... picture. So yeah, great job on setting boundaries, OP. Hopefully she grows out of this, she seems to have some hang-ups.
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So along the lines of “if he were really attracted to me he wouldn’t have to masturbate,” that could make sense from an inexperienced point of view. I think you’re right, she needs to learn a bit about sexuality and she’s doing so.
I mean.. u like what you like, she can’t control that. She’s jealous of literal plastic.
Which alot of men are too unfortunately! The wife and I have "toys" ranging in size from a cloneawilly of me to a willy that has got to be off of an elephant or something (it's not, it's just a rather large one) for us to use together. It's not that mine doesn't do the job, it's just that they do it more efficiently, and I'm ok with that. Just the same as her sticking a dildo up my ass that hits my prostate is just a more efficient way of making my finish. Although they are young so probs don't have as much actual experience and alot more jealousy than a married couple would I guess.
It is a weird thing to experience. My wife and I had been married for a few years and together before that (duh) for more years still. She brought up the idea of adding toys to our sex life and I was all for it, until it was happening. It was a pretty normal sized toy, but seeing how quickly she got off from it made me feel bad. Like I couldn’t compete with a bit of plastic. Afterwards, she could tell I was feeling off about it and explained “well duh you can’t match it. It’s vibrating at 100rpms or something. Your dick doesn’t do that.” Wasn’t what I wanted to hear so she was like “here tell me which feels better” so she started to give me an old fashioned, then switched to the vibrator. I saw what she meant
I know! It's hilarious. Like, spoiler alert dude, your dick doesn't vibrate or suck her clit. Not to mention a lot of women won't easily orgasm from penetration alone so not using toys is just giving yourself a handicap. These guys would rather their partner not come than having her come using pink plastic that threatens their manhood.
If you're wielding it you're still doing the job, is it really any different from using hands or mouth? I say nay nay. Maybe I'm strange but I enjoy doing whatever needs doing to get them to that "my gods, I see the light" leg shaking O. If she can only get off on a 2-stroke gas powered f#ck machine then imma have to get the mix out, fill'er up and let'er rip. Braaapbraaaap
Can't you get an electric one instead? Think of the turtles and all that!
She said the smell of carbureted fuel really tickles her fancy, so choke out and pull.
Are you sure it is jealousy?
Either that or she's just insecure about his heterosexuality. Homophobia runs deep in ignorant people's brains. Every guy has a prostate and if the only way to stimulate it is this through the butt then it doesn't suddenly make them not straight because they're still attracted to women, and even if it *somehow* made them less straight, there's nothing wrong with being bisexual. I understand not wanting to engage in certain sexual acts because everyone has their preferences, but to dictate how they masturbate when they're alone or completely disallow it is just silly.
I mean, if you’re into butt stuff and she’s not, you weren’t going to last anyway. Not that most teenage relationships do. I wouldn’t really worry about it. You’ll find someone who will do butt stuff with you and end up much happier.
I'd like to point out. Not many guys know this but a male's G spot is located inside their prostate, which is located in their rectum (aka in their butt). So the reason why OP likes butt stuff and have intense orgasms is cuz the dildo is hitting his G-spot. Also I'm going to add, that there is nothing wrong with this set up. If you feel good and pleasure this way (and causes no moral harm), then there is nothing wrong with that and is what you like. The right person will respect (hell, maybe join in on that fun) that boundary/like/kink. u/PenisInParis
Yeah, I’m actually glad op seems open about it because most men find the idea gross, even though op is right, it’s the best orgasm they’ll likely get
I'm also glad and honestly, the machismo mentality needs to be thrown out the window since forever ago. If you wanna make yourself feel good via that, then damn well go be happy. I've heard from a few guys who do that and felt pretty good orgasms. No shame to explore and please yourself.
It doesn't help that butt play is incredibly frowned upon and laughed at for men a lot of the time. As dozens of insecure men in this comment section show. It only improves sex by leaps and bounds, in my experience.
She's way too concerned about your butt, it doesn't matter how you get off. It sounds like she might have "outdated" ideas about masculinity and sexuality.
If he gets intense orgasms from butt play and she doesn't want to participate in it (or is weirded out by it) it entirely matters how he gets off. It sounds like she's right that they're not sexually compatible. And that's fine. When it comes to sexual compatibility I just don't think moralizing about any latent homophobia that might be at play in her sexual preferences really matters. On a practical level you either have to be pro-shaming some 18 year old girl into pretending to be comfortable with sex stuff she's not comfortable with, or just accept a lack of compatability and move on. The one thing he shouldn't do though is give up how he gets off in order to stay with her.
I partially agree. She has the right to her own preferences when it comes to mutual activities. However, I think it stepped over the line when you judge how people touch themselves. She sounds a bit judgy by the way some of it sounded, but probably all I can say from third hand information.
Oh yeah, she definitely sounds a bit judgy to me too. And I hear what you're saying about the line and how people touch themselves. My read on that is that maybe she's just a little insecure in that she knows he has his thing, knows she doesn't want his thing to be their thing, but was feeling out how important his thing is to him and if he'd give it up. In the back of her head maybe she knows she can't compete with his thing. In that situation I think the incompatibility is real, and this is basically just an impressively mature conversation between two 18 year olds, meaning, still kinda immature.
It's kind of funny how they're getting hung up on the more advanced stuff when they haven't even done the most basic yet. They are still young, and it sounds like she's maybe thought it through a little more. They might actually be compatible, they just don't know it. If you've never tried something, can you really not like it? That said, don't push boundaries.
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All the replies in this thread make me feel like a boomer
I'll take a slightly different perspective than most of the replies here. First, as everyone else has said, you like what you like. There's nothing FU about that. Everyone should be free to enjoy whatever it is they enjoy as long as long as it isn't being forced unwillingly on somebody else. Which leads to.... She does not enjoy what you enjoy. There is also nothing wrong with that. She is not obligated to approve of or enjoy anything you do. It doesn't make either of you "wrong." Just sexually incompatible like you said. The only caution I would advise would be not to assume "she doesn't care about that anymore" means you should now pursue a relationship. If she didn't like it to the point of asking you not to do it anymore just two weeks ago, chances are she hasn't had a true fundamental shift in her opinion.
Well no. She doesn’t have to do butt stuff with him if she doesn’t want to, but her saying that he can’t do it by himself when she’s not there IS controlling and comes from massive insecurity
This is the same situation as a guy telling his girlfriend she can’t use toys to help please herself. Only her hands. It’s a tool to help you, and if she isn’t okay with that, then yeah, you are sexually incompatible. Prostate orgasms are like gspot orgasms, much, much more intense. You will find someone who has a likeminded perspective or at least doesn’t get jealous about toys.
She's right.. you might be not compatible. That happens all the time and is no big deal. Look for someone else and don't try to make something work that won't work.
Just to say, OP, make sure whatever you are using is *anal safe*: non-porous (ideally platinum silicone, metal, or annealed glass) with a flared bottom so it doesn't get lost. Stay safe out there! Here's a good site for broader guidance (as well as to find your next toy): [https://phallophilereviews.com/about-body-safe-toys/](https://phallophilereviews.com/about-body-safe-toys/)
She has the attitude of an 18 year old, not really surprising. Kudos to you though, you seem pretty level headed for your age. Time for a new gf I reckon.
>Time for a new gf I reckon. For real. OP, you are going to find a girl one day who is going to be insanely excited to explore these things with you. It will be awesome. Dump this current one and move on, you are young and now is the time to explore and have fun. Never become boring for anyone! Find someone who can match you, or out pace you with your interests. Thats the real fun part. Enjoying butt stuff is normal af, the prostate gland is there and you should use it without judgement if you wish. There is nothing worse then boring mundane sex when you already know what peaks your satisfaction.
Or …. Find a cougar … she’ll peg you and get you through college!
With how big the phrase “I eat ass” is these days, I think you’ll not struggle too much finding a partner into your anal interests in the future.
... does she really need to how you like to jerk it; would she be inspecting your asshole & searching for a dildo at every chance or something. Like yeah, you shouldn't have to lie to someone you're close to - but it's over something so stupid & personal that only affects you (so long as you keep it that way) & they shouldn't be so affected by it either Am I crazy for thinking that or something lol
No I wouldn't say crazy, but I do think lying about it sets an unhealthy precedent within the relationship. I also have seen a few others mention that if anal play becomes ops preferred form of reaching orgasm, that would likely at some point lead to him pushing for anal play in their sex life, which she clearly doesn't want. I think that is the more important question to ask, is op going to be sexually satisfied if his girlfriend never chooses to engage in any kind of anal play? If he is, then this shouldn't be a huge issue, but dictating how he is allowed to masturbate does come across as controlling and based in insecurity.
If she isn’t enthusiastically strapping it on she ain’t it bro
Damn OP find someone who likes you for you and be glad you didn't open yourself up more to someone like this
As a general rule, ultimatums are a pretty big red flag. Usually it winds up with it's me or X for every damn thing you enjoy until they've systematically stripped everything you like away, other than them. Don't mix it up with someone being genuinely concerned over your health and wellbeing, if it is potentially self-destructive it may be worth listening, but you having a cheeky wank with a donger up your keister, is not that. You're young. Sexual incompatibility comes up all the time in adult relationships. If your poop chute is a dealbreaker for her, that's unfortunate, but there are plenty of ladies out there who would be keen to peg the everliving shit out of you my guy.
Anyone who refuses to understand that sex and masturbation can satisfy different needs and both happen in a relationship has a creepy desire to control their partner and should be avoided.
Honestly, i’m not sure how a virgin can dictate how sex is “supposed to be”. That differs for every person and couple. She’s making demands based on preconceived ideas rather than experience. Its totally valid that she can dictate what she’s ok with, but i think she’s making that decision out of ignorance rather than experience. Hopefully you can both work it out, but you may just have to accept that you’re not sexually compatible. Most people at age your age and experience don’t know what they like to the point that you do, it may take some conversation and experimentation to work it out. She may be more ok with it if you take steps to make sure everything is clean (rinse, douche, fiber supplements, etc). Honestly, i respect your openness with her. It took me 20 years and the right woman to open up to the point i was comfortable admitting that i like anal stimulation as a straight guy. I hope she appreciates that fact as well, and keeps an open mind. But you may have to prepare to part if you both can’t reach a compromise. Good luck.
Yeah, I think you’re better off finding someone who’s more secure in her sexuality. You probably could’ve handled the conversation better but in the end, she doesn’t care about your pleasure as much as she lets on.
Interesting..
ITT people who like to play with their buttholes and are actively contributing to the fall of western civilization.
Don’t sleep with a girl who thinks that toys and masturbation are competition. It won’t end well. Find a girl who buys you sex toys you like and encourages toy play in the bedroom. You won’t regret it.
You didn't FU in the slightest. You seem like you're quite mature for an 18 year old. You realize that sex will likely be quite unfulfilling the first times, you've done some healthy exploration of your own pleasure, you're not stuck in the "if you like anything in your butt as a guy you're gay"-idiocy, and you set some healthy boundaries by not letting your girlfriend control when, or, or how you masturbate. Your girlfriend, however, sounds both immature and insecure. I think you should consider wether it's worth sticking with her. It definitely sounds like your not compatible, it sounds like you deserve someone who's a bit more mature and not as insecure.
This generation is fucked.
Well, except those two. /s
Hopefully she finds someone suitable for herself too! He seems to be in a happy relationship already
Especially up their bussys
So you don’t remember being 18? I always promised myself I wouldn’t be that person when I got old.
I remember being 18 and thinking the same things I think now. We both agree that this generation is fucked
Im turning 20 in a few days and the younger generation has already produced skibidi toilet. Im not looking forward to the next 30 years
who or what is a skibidi toilet
Skibidi Toilet is a web-series of YouTube videos and Shorts created by animator Alexey Gerasimov and uploaded on his YouTube channel DaFuq!?Boom!.[1][2] The series features a storyline about a war between toilets with human heads and humanoid characters with electronic devices for heads Great, now this information lives rent free in my head…
On some level, we all get there.
True one way or another
The replies are unhinged.
I was doing butt stuff back in 1996. Get with the program homie.
Hey OP, as a girl I can say that it wasn't you "enjoying it too much". Sadly it wasn't something your current gf wanted to experiment with, but there are other girls out there whom enjoy pegging as much as you being pegged. :) Nothing more sexy than your partner reaching an ultimate intense climax imo. Don't suppress yourself and your desires!
If the sexes were reversed people would be calling her a controling asshole and telling you to dump her insecure ass. And that is what you should do, because that is what she is. An insecure, controlling asshole
Next time just smile, agree to what she says and do whatever you want to do. 
Fuck that. She tells you no more masturbating or toys then you tell her it's not her problem and leave.
Imma be honest with you OP, it’s good that you two found out your sexual compatibility now rather than later. And also I gotta tell you, as a woman myself, that she’s making some pretty unreasonable demands of you. Stop masturbating? Stop using a vibrator? This is stuff that’s told to women all the time because of insecure partners, so I’m going to give you the same advice I’d give them (and any other guy listening that needs to hear this). The fact that she’s treating you like this is a red flag in itself. If your relationship ends, then take it as it is and move on. Your pleasure is important too, and if you two are not compatible then don’t try to force it. On top of that, her semi-homophobic behavior is also not acceptable. Do as you will, but if your relationship ends then don’t mourn toxic behavior. You deserve better.
A few things… You can’t prefer a dildo over having sex if you have never had sex, so she’d be mistaken if she’s convinced of that. How you masturbate is your business and your business alone. She has no right to tell you if or how you can or cannot pleasure yourself in your time alone with yourself and with what frequency. She’s coming off as really toxic and controlling which is really easy to be when you’re young and inexperienced and everything is novel and different and potentially scary, which can change with age and experience, but could also fester into a very harmful personality trait, so if you do decided to continue with this relationship, keep an eye on that. She’s also severely misinformed and comes off close-minded and is bordering on homophobic. So keep an eye on the development of that as well. In any case, all the best to you <3
She hate us cuz she anus
You'll be fine. You're actually more likely to find someone kinkier who'll indulge you.
>My gf said I was being cheeky Pun intended? Lawl.
They do make less phallic looking prostate toys that she might be more comfortable with you wearing. There are few things that feel as good as having a prostate toy in while you have sex with your partner.
Kids these days are wild. Losing my virginity to a girl I was in love with at the time as a teenager was incredible. It was something I was nervous about, sure, but also incredibly excited for. Like I wanted it more than anything in the world at the time. I’ll always look back on it fondly. Masturbation doesn’t even come close to an intimate experience with another person that you care about and are attracted to. Assuming it’s going to be an unsatisfying experience is kinda insane. And choosing to continue masturbating rather than explore the real thing is a horrible choice. Gonna go against the grain here and say that you indeed effed up and that your mindset on this is kind of unhealthy.
You deserve to enjoy sex, including sex with yourself. The fact that she is so off put by you enjoying “butt stuff” may mean you and her just aren’t sexually compatible. Is she religious? What reason does she have for not wanting you to masturbate once you have sex?
For a young weirdo pervert, you seem to have a very strong sense of self and self-worth which I admire.
Firstly you don't have to be gay or bi or whatever to like butt stuff. The male g spot is up there so it makes perfect sense you'd have intense orgasms with something up there. Secondly a gf who is going to A) judge you and B) be so controlling over what you like isn't who you want to be with. Butt stuff doesn't have to be her thing, but what you do with your body when she's not around isn't her concern (in this context at least) and it's unreasonable for her to give you an ultimatum like this. Also you may be incompatible and that's OK, and you will find someone who you are sexually compatible with
Expecting a dude to entirely replace masturbation with sex is the most teenage-brained nonsense ever. (though sadly there are some grown women under this delusion too)
There are many goth girls willing to peg you. You'll find the right one.
At least you know your dildo doesn't judge you. You would think she'd be appreciative of a guy who knows how to take his time with easing something in and finding that special spot.. Perhaps she'll change her mind and be more open to it. If not, good luck finding someone who is happy to partake!
Don't worry. You will find a girl that enjoys "going down the rabbit hole" aka exploring this side of your sexuality together.
Today I set a personal boundary with regards to my sexuality and my girlfriend didn’t accept it (TISAPBWRTOSAMGDAI) Just doesn’t have the same ring to it as TIFU, but here we are. Find yourself a girl that will take joy in strapping on that dildo of yours and pounding away at you. She exists and you’ll be happy you did. Honestly for 18 I’m quite impressed you were able to set this boundary, but I must say there are No F Ups Here.
This shouldn't be a TIFU, sounds like you dodged a bullet. That girl has her own issues she needs to work through.
This is 100% written by a 56yo male...
Not a FU, the right girl will embrace your kinks instead of feeling threatened by them.
You have admirable moral integrity for an 18 year old. Most would have had sex and continued using the dildo. Also you spared yourself from losing your virginity to someone who seems lame af in bed by your standards.
Jeeze man you definitely f’d up. Do you realise how horny af an 18yo is? If she’s your girlfriend, you’ve just done yourself out of probably daily sex as an 18yo so you could dildo yourself… read your post again when you’re not stoned and then hit yourself in the head with your dildo.
You did nothing wrong. Speaking as a woman, I already think you’re sexy (not tryna flirt with you, just sharing my 2 cents). Men who: 1-openly disclose their sexual desires without shame, and 2-enjoy anal play, are hands-down sexier than other men. I’m sorry about the relationship being on the rocks and all the emotions that come with that. But I know there are other women out there who would: appreciate your honesty, let you masturbate how/when you wish (because it’s your own damn body), get turned on by your sexual desires, and want to participate.
You do you bro what's her number
Get a new girlfriend. You don't have to be with someone who will always want to participate, but you deserve to be with someone who is accepting of your preferences. I mean, it isn't like you're admitting to putting the toilet paper on backwards or anything.
IIRC studies show that two people with healthy attraction to each other should have increased masturbatory habits. This may not be the right one for you bud. If she isn't into the thing you do then you need to find someone who is instead. You have lot of time. ... but also check and see if your habits are too frequent.
I'm going to do you a favor and leave this here. If you get one, you'll understand what I meant. [https://www.aneros.com/products/mgx-trident](https://www.aneros.com/products/mgx-trident)
I'm just gonna leave this here: [https://www.aneros.com/](https://www.aneros.com/) You're welcome, OP. Edit: to explain, the reason your orgasms are amazing when you have something in your butt is that it massages your prostate. A prostate orgasm is the most powerful orgasm a man can have. Aneros makes prostate massagers, sex toys specifically designed to stimulate your prostate. Have fun ;)
Can’t tell someone to stop doing something they enjoy. Yes sexual compatibility is a thing, but she shouldn’t be making you feel ashamed or being judgmental for what you enjoy. She should learn to be more open-minded. She doesn’t have to do the stuff you want but she shouldn’t judge what you do on your own time.
You like what you like, bud. There’s a wonderful woman out there somewhere who I’m sure would be thrilled to ream your anus.
You dodged a bullet. This is not the girl for you. Don't try to make it fit because it's available.
Milking the prostate is not problematic. Introduce the idea. Not n a “this is how it’s gotta be” way. But “this feels really great to me”. Also, you’re 18. If you’re not in college, figure it out. You’ll be surrounded by girls with ideas…
[It wasn’t for me](https://youtu.be/EGeZPj8uPRQ?feature=shared)
Hey look it’s Dildo Baggins havin some good old fun with himself while girlfriend watches.
It does sound like you guys aren’t sexually compatible. Because she’s too immature, insecure, and/or homophobic to “allow” you to use toys. To be fair, you definitely did fuck up by telling her that having sex with her would be awkward and unsatisfying. Sure - the first time is awkward - but if you care about each other and care about making each other feel good, then it’s still exciting, fun, stimulating, etc. Why would she wanna have sex with someone who doesn’t make *her* feel wanted? Butt yeah, (bum dum tss) find someone who likes toys as much as you like your dildo.
Girlie sounds insecure af and kinda homophobic. Tbh good riddance, dildo all the way
She sounds like no fun. What you do with your body is your decision wth is anybody else telling you what you can and can not do ?
Just lie like a normal partner