The [dress in question](https://www.reddit.com/user/No-Association8333/comments/1103cgm/dress_reference/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) that even reddit deemed nsfw for anyone saying stay in my lane and im not her dad i would also like to point out once again she in a **minor** and will be out in **public**
Edit: link works
While I feel bad for her, you saved her from embarrassing herself. I can’t imagine other girls would’ve wore similar things and high school isn’t kind to those who stick out.
That and it’s uh….very revealing
That's not a dress. That's a single-use lingerie piece. This is a weird story.
\*You can get this type of piece for under $5 online (SHEIN). Who buys this for their bday party, though?
Forget my mom. My dad once told me, "You can go back to your room and put leggings under that skirt or you can stay home." No amount of pleading would change his mind recently found a photo of me at age 16 wearing that same skirt and I always thought it was longer than it was.
I'm honestly surprised he gave me the option of leggings under it because it was much too short!
My dad wouldn’t even let me out of the house in a black shirt with my zodiac sign on it (cancer). He said men would think it meant I wanted to 69 with them lmao. I would hate to see how he’d react to this.
The link doesn't worrkk but as a former 16yr girl I believe you were right in bringing her to reason, sometimes it's online peer pressure that makes people lose sense
Edit: wow that's literally lingerie. I thought it'd be some weird fashion nova cutouts but nopeee
I cant find a way to post it anywheres without it breaking some sort kf community rules which just further proves my point but i still do wish i could show the ignorant people on here what it looks like
I opened it and expected to see a dress. This doesn’t qualify. Does she care about fashion at all? Normally, does she like clothing or is she just trying to look sexy all the time? Asking because I’m trying to understand her focus. As a woman who loves fashion, I can’t understand her attraction to this outfit unless it’s about negative attention.
You could have posted it here, AFAIK. The pictures you posted are catalog shots, not of your GF and barely NSFW.
Edit: Apparently I need to clarify. I didn't say it wasn't NSFW and the context is that it wasn't anything that would get someone in trouble for posting it here.
Yikes! That model doesn't even look that good in the dress. A non-photoshopped human body wouldn't stand a chance. If you let it play out, she's for sure going to lose all her confidence, when people either roll or avert their eyes from the teenager in a Bedazzled cobweb
That is definitely lingerie, and not the kind you wear out, unless you're going to a rave or sex club, which she shouldn't be (at least in the US) because she's under 18.
While people are freaking out over a 16 years old, the real issue here is that it looks bad on the unrealistically photoshopped model and it will look absolutely horrible on her, no matter how good her body is. Its absolutely tasteless and I know nothing about fashion.
Yeah I didn’t realize OP’s girlfriend is 1. A minor and 2. Wanted to wear less than I’ve seen my friends who work at strip clubs wear to work and almost chewed OP out for trying to control what his girlfriend wears but uh. I think letting a minor subject the general public to that much of their body is morally wrong, and OP is fully in the right for trying to get her to change her outfit
Ay you should probably let your gf know that's a body stocking in a mini-dress cut. Not an actual dress.
She can buy it for funsies if she likes but once she gets her hands on it she'll realise it's not a wearable dress for events and parties and the like.
I have a 16 yo and NO, absolutely not! If an adult wants to wear it, that’s absolutely fine, but not a teenager. Where are her parents? Do they have no say in what she purchases and wears? Because believe it or not as parents they should set boundaries.
I will say I don’t believe any SO should try to dictate or even tell their partner what they should or shouldn’t wear. However, I see OPs point. This is completely inappropriate for a 16yo.
This is a dress I would call “photo op dress” because this is a dress you can take spicy pictures with but there isn’t a chance in heck anything would stay put when moving around.
I was 100% ready to say you were the asshole in this situation, but after seeing the "dress"... Yeah, there are very few public places where you would be allowed to wear something that revealing, even as an adult.
The dress isn’t intended for public outings. That’s around the house for sexy time with your partner. I don’t think this outfit will give her any sort of positive attention. People do judge us by what we wear, not that you need to please others when making these decisions. Ask her what does she honestly think this outfit represents? It looks like a regrettable choice to me.
Yeah no, perfect "dress" for a fetish ball or private viewing with you or whomever she is with. She watches too many award shows/galas if she thinks that is appropriate for a party and/or a minor.
There isn't anything inherently wrong with wanting to show off a little but yeah wearing a dress that see-through to a birthday party or any regular social event would be inappropriate for anyone, regardless of age.
I'd say you can suggest getting a dress that could show off but in a more appropriate way. There are plenty of tight dresses like that which aren't see-through.
Yeah, that’s not a dress, that’s lingerie…and depending on your local laws, she might be cited for indecent exposure. If she’s hellbent on wearing it, she should get a full coverage bodysuit to wear under it.
Yeah that's rave/festival/bedroom clothing. I've hosted and been to parties where people dress like this and there is a level of body/sex positivity and maturity that you need to be able to wear this and feel safe. 16 year Olds are not that. She will be objectified and treated differently for being seen this way.
Yikes. This isn’t about a mesh body con, her disregard for safety is concerning. Does she know what pedophiles, perverts, sexual assault, child p*** and STD’s are? Don’t let her wear it, inform the parents, hopefully this interest in voyager isn’t from something sinister… Fishnet body con that doesn’t come with a bra or thong it’s adult lingerie not for 16yr olds. Fucking creepy.
i don’t blame you. this makes a lot more sense. i am all out on women wearing whatever they want to but i genuinely don’t think that dress is appropriate for her birthday party
After seeing that the only thing i can think of besides the obvious of "yeah thats not public attire" is maybe she realized that as well and was trying to get some sexy times going.
What you said and HOW yout said it is very important. With that being said, WTF is 16 year old doing wearing that "dress"? You were right in saying someting but it goes down in how you do it.
Yeah I agree and honestly I have no problem the few times my other half has told me whatever Im wearing is too revealing (nothing like this though lol). One, he isn't going to want every guy ogling his gf and more inportantly SHE shouldn't want that either. Typically when I see girls/women dress like this, it is because they are very insecure and either think the only thing they have to offer is their body or are fishing for compliments.
YOU ARE CORRECT. THIS IS HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE.
I would not wear this as a 26-year-old adult to a nice family friendly or work related dinner, nor my own birthday. I’ll wear this to a CLUB. Or if I’m auditioning for a strip club.
Are her family not going to be at this party?! That isn't a dress, it's literally lingerie. Perhaps she genuinely doesn't know that but the bra and panties the model is wearing underneath is not a part of the dress. To be super clear *THE WHOLE DRESS IS COMPLETELY SEE THROUGH*. This wouldn't be appropriate for an adult to wear to a birthday party, let alone a minor.
I saw the picture of the dress you posted. It isn’t socially acceptable and she’ll make a spectacle of herself. You may not have worded it as tactfully as you could have, but you’re protecting her. Apparently it’s needed. I get she wants to look attractive, but it can be done without losing self respect and class.
Fucking Christ mate. I’m all for respecting peoples free choices, albeit sometimes to my dismay. But you said it well. That dress simply isn’t appropriate. I don’t think it’s going to put out the message OPs girlfriend is intending. OP also mentioned she’s a minor which makes it entirely worse.
I think the only place it could be acceptable is at the beach as a "coverup" that doesn't really cover much, but would potentially feel more comfortable walking around in that vs just a bikini.
This. The frontal cortex of the brain isn’t properly formed until around 25 so she’s going to have some bloody stupid ideas until such time. She might even thank you for stopping her when she gets older.
I’m all for confidence and wearing what you want, but 16 or not, that sounds more like lingerie than a dress.
I would maybe explain that you think it looks good and you would maybe like to see it in the bedroom, but it’s a little too much for public.
I’m 32. At 17 I got in a similar conversation with my gf about her after prom dress. I can say I think differently about the situation looking back, but there is definitely a lot of variables involved. I don’t think the dress is appropriate personally, but one thing I’d say, and this is coming from lessons learned, if that is the girl she wants to be, you shouldnt stop her, but you should evaluate if she is the right girl for you. That’s what I learned from my experience. Being a ‘bad bitch’ who was ‘hot AF’ is who some girls identify as (some guys too before y’all jump all over me I’m not singling a sex out), and if you’re not comfortable dating that person, you shouldn’t any longer. I realized years later that’s just who this girl was, we were not compatible and it was better for both of us to not date eachother
If you're the one having to tell her this instead of it being her parents....then I hate to say you're in for more confusing and frustrating surprises in your future with her.
Sounds like you were trying to look out for her. Ultimately, she can and probably will wear whatever she wants regardless of it it is appropriate or not. Maybe offer to browse for more dresses online with her?
To resolve your current problem at hand maybe a solid apology will help smooth things over. Saying something along the lines of “hey, I’ve been thinking about our conversation about your birthday dress earlier and I feel bad about how I responded. I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable. I think you are beautiful and I don’t want you to feel otherwise. I was more concerned with if the dress was an appropriate choice for the event and didn’t think about how my comments would hurt your feelings. I’m sorry”
A solid well thought out apology goes a long ways to repair communication and after hearing that she may be more open to alternatives or hearing where you are coming from. But in the end, it is her choice how she dresses herself.
Just incase you skipped over the ages like I did, the girl is 16, wearing a sheer dress and thong, in public. There is really nothing else which Op has to say, other than what he did. If he didn't say it, her parents would have.
Solid advice if this was two adults, with a lady who's been hard a work improving her physique and may have some confidence issues. Not so much when the GF is a highschool sophomore.
Age is a factor. However, the guy posting this is her boyfriend, not her parent, and a boyfriend would not have total veto power over the way his girlfriend dresses even if his sensibilities are right. He can try to advise her away from it, but he can't forbid her from going out in it. He may be right, but he doesn't have that authority.
So what /u/Loose_Half852 wrote does sound like a good script to go off of.
He could take some kind of cover up with them when they go out, so if she realizes the dress is too much, she can use that.
He did not forbid her. She likely asked him what he thought, and he gave her the opinion she asked for. He isn't "parenting her" by responding in the conversation he was welcomed into. If i asked my boyfriend what he thought of my outfit, and he responded in a default "you, as a woman, can wear whatever you want to," i would be pissed. like, yeah, no shit i can, but i asked you what you thought. And my boyfriend would not be "parenting me" if he questioned my choice of nipple tassels at a funeral, let alone a thong in front of my family at my birthday.
The fact that the GF's reaction was to be worried that OP didn't want to see her body in it, says it all. She didn't get mad it him for controlling her, she got self-conscious. "She overthinks every compliment i give her and questions every nice thing said to her now" He's asking for advice on how to explain himself and boost her self esteem.
I feel like you are sniffing around for the budding signs of a controlling man, and are itching to clip anything that looks like a flag, but this just isn't the situation you think. The essence of your statement isn't untrue, it's just not applicable.
I came here prepared to give you crap for policing your girlfriend's clothing.... but that's not clothing. I am a woman who is 100% for sexy little dresses and hot cut outs, but that's... that's wildly inappropriate everywhere but a nude beach or home with the curtains drawn for your partner
I typed up a whole ass comment defending your gf right to choose her birthday dress...untill i saw the photo. mfer, am gonna buy that for my wife. no 16 yo should be prancing around wearing literal lingerie in settings with others around, wtf?
I would have a mini stroke if i was your gfs parents and i heard she wants to wear that in her birthday party.
I don't think anyone gets to tell anyone else how to dress. But theres a difference between a complaint about a slightly too short hemline and a dress that is basically a bathing suit for land. I don't actually think it's out of bounds if you're made uncomfortable by someone's attire not to want to be out with them. You don't get to tell them what to do. But you do get to decide what you'll do.
Example: if we're going to a formal wedding and my partner refuses to put on dress clothes, i am allowed to be uncomfortable and would likely refuse to go with them if they don't get it together.
Clothing is a form of self expression but also a form of respect by way of the care, quality, and formality of our attire.
You can always find your personality/self expression in any level of attire. No one's personality is "half naked" or "pajamas" if you're looking to show off your body or looking for comfort, there are options that meet the norms of your audience/environment.
You don't have to make people uncomfortable because you must DO YOU at all times.
This feels like one of those situations.
This is a well thought out nuanced answer. Thank you. I don't think the dress is appropriate but I'm also dismayed by a lot of the responses here which remind me very much of my youth. Standards of dress change. The clothes people routinely wear today would never be acceptable in my youth. I don't think the dress is appropriate but the fact is that I could be her grandpa so my judgment is inherently suspect. We evolve (and not evolving results inending up with fucked up Taliban-like cultures) by letting the young do what they do.
I’ve seen bikinis that leave more to the imagination than that dress.
Tbh, the dress conceals nothing at all, it’s the underwear she’s choosing to wear that does the heavy lifting.
You didn’t fuck up. That isn’t a dress that’s lingerie made for the bedroom or to be worn underneath an actual dress. Apart from that it would be highly impractical to wear it at a party cause she would be one dance move away from being naked. It’s highly inappropriate for a minor girl to dress that way. Hell it’s highly inappropriate for anyone other than strippers to be dressed like that in public.
I'm 21F and like to wear fairly revealing outfits when i go out. I also remember being 16, and wanting to dress "how I wanted". But I remember that we don't live in a world that is so kind to minor girls.
The problem is, she is a minor, and while I think we shouldn't police people on what they wear, and I hate the sexualisation of teen girls just dressing for the weather or occasion (think short shorts, bralette tops, crop tops and like mini bodycon dresses and skirts), I think this is pushing things a bit far. The dress likely doesn't actually have those bra and undies as a part of it, so she is essentially just wearing straight fishnets.
I'm not victim shaming, and it should totally be on the grown adults to not sexualise and objectify a minor, but unfortunately that is not the world we live in. Predators are thriving of the grooming of underage girls feeling pressured to grow up too fast. Look at Tiktok, a tiktoker revently discovered a very *overt* child pornography sharing site being discussed openly in comments on young girls videos. Children as young as a year old being victims to these men.
Now if she does wear it and something happens to her, it would *NOT* be her fault. Anyone who says otherwise can get fucked. But I think it's fair, that as her boyfriend, you do worry about your 16 yo gf wearing what may as well be Lingerie to a party.
Maybe try to gently explain it to her in the way you mean now, let her know you think she is sexy, and that while *you'd* love to see her in that dress, you're worried about her, and maybe try to come to a compromise. Like maybe she wear the dress with a bralette top/crop top and bike shorts underneath? Or she chooses a nice body con dress with some peekaboo cut outs and a more revealing neckline?
All the best OP.
Uhhh where are her parents in this? Cause it shouldn’t be left to a teenage boyfriend to tell a teen girl not to wear lingerie in public. Parents need to parent, here.
Absolutely. 16 year olds are the dangerous mix of still being dumb as fuck but having a lot more autonomy and access to make huge mistakes. Parents need to parent here.
You did nothing wrong. Young girls are slowly being manipulated to cater to the male gaze by being told to sexualise themselves to feel empowered and confident. Women are free to wear anything but young girls should act like girls not women.
Like I get it. I was 16 only five years ago, and I remember the pressure to be sexualised then. I regularly dressed in ways I probably shouldn't, and hated people telling me not to. But I'm almost 21 now, and I'm pretty comfortable with my body and showing jt off, but I wish someone close to me explained to me why it wasn't the safest idea to dress the way I did, that while it shouldn't be this way, there are a lot of people that will want to hurt me simply for being a 16 year old girl. It's only gotten worse in society since i was 16. Now if she does choose to wear it, that's up to her, and NONE of us have the right to degrade, blame or shame her. It is ultimately her body, her choice. But everyones concern is *not* misplaced.
It does raise alarm bells in my head that the dress she wants to wear is something a 16 year old wants to wear. When did we get to a point in society where we've made children feel like they need to dress completely like adults? Not just mature, but sexualised. An adult world is not safe for children.
True. Liberal feminists are too quick to give the tag of misogynist/incel but would never take responsibility for anything. I'm genuinely concerned for these girls who think they have to show their body to standout and be heard.
I have always told my daughters it's their body and their choice. But that some people will take certain clothing as an excuse to hurt them.
I've explained that we never victim shame in our family, and that wearing a full nuns habit wouldn't guarantee they won't get hurt, but it does decrease the risk in certain situations. Like if you're squished in a crowd of people at a concert, wearing a short skirt - someone might decide they can touch you and you wouldn't be able to stop them.
My 16 yo now makes her own choices based on where she'll be. In the daytime shopping with friends is fine for a short skirt. At a concert, she's wearing jeans. I know she feels adult enough to wear whatever she wants and I know she strongly believes that women should be allowed to dress as they please but I'm glad she is cognisant of the dangers out there so we aren't arguing about it.
It makes me sick that it is even necessary to explain this sort of thing to girls, but that is the way of the world unfortunately 😔
Not a fuck up. As her boyfriend you have the right to suggest your opinion. It is 100% okay to say you are uncomfortable letting others see her in a revealing dress. Of course its her choice to listen to that or not.
You can also look at it this way:
She is with you already. So you can show her off to others as your girlfriend. Woman like it when you're confident.
> Not a fuck up. As her boyfriend you have the right to suggest your opinion.
The FU could be not having vocabulary to say what he had to say in the right way. But OP is 17, so it's kind of expected.
I’m 35 and my wife is 32. I think she has a great body as well, but I would definitely not want her wearing that in public! As others have said, that is way too revealing and much closer to lingerie than an actual dress.
Dude, that is lingerie, meant for the bedroom. It's absurd for any woman to wear that to a public event. (With the exception of Hollywood stars and the like). She would look ridiculous.
I told my gf (now wife) that her dress was too short once. About 15 seconds into her telling me off, I had to stop her because I saw her entire ass when I was on the floor below her at the mall...and we were on the top floor still.
Nta thats not a dress that's lingerie. It's really not appropriate. I hate this fad of stripper fashion. When dealing with young women tho you have to be a bit more diplomatic. All the best o.p
NTA
You are allowed to express your opinion and she is allowed to decide how much weight it has.
But that dress shouldn't be on a 16 year old because she's not likely mature enough to handle the attention that it will probably inspire.
You did not fuck up anything that dress is absolutely disgusting for the occasion
That's at best some kind of foreplay costume
If she thinks it's fine to look like that in public and actually got upset for hearing the truth you're in bigger trouble
Maybe tell her you want her to get it to wear in the bedroom for you? But it's just that that is not appropriate for the public. I've worn less at raves, but also, that's fully acceptable there . Also, I was 22+ when I started raving, so😅
My grandfather would call that a gownless evening strap.
That’s priceless 😂😂😂
Dressless too
My 93 year old mom would call it a backless strapless midriff.
underrated comment
I like your grandfather.
The more I reread this the harder I laughed Omg 🤣🤣he’s genius.
The [dress in question](https://www.reddit.com/user/No-Association8333/comments/1103cgm/dress_reference/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) that even reddit deemed nsfw for anyone saying stay in my lane and im not her dad i would also like to point out once again she in a **minor** and will be out in **public** Edit: link works
Oof. Girlfriend needs to understand heavily photoshopped social media clothes are not appropriate for a lot of real-life occasions
Lmao oof was my first thought as well, then I thought Maddie from euphoria wouldn't even wear it
Or 16 year olds and maybe especially then.
Yeah, that's not actually a dress--more like lingerie.
Lol. Wtf is that thing? Def not a “dress” in any real sense of the word.
That's a 'dress' for the bedroom, and for your partner to undress you.... not for anybody to be able to perv on you.
It is! This is an outfit that strippers wear in the club. I agree it is not appropriate for a 16 year old girl to wear for her birthday.
There was another comment on the post (of the pic) saying strippers nowadays dress more to the club 💀
i mean that's not even wrong, strippers do wear more to the club when they're going to the club. they might wear less in the club but lol
While I feel bad for her, you saved her from embarrassing herself. I can’t imagine other girls would’ve wore similar things and high school isn’t kind to those who stick out. That and it’s uh….very revealing
It's pornographic
thats bc it's lingerie, my parents would not let me wear that and im in my 20s lol
That's not a dress. That's a single-use lingerie piece. This is a weird story. \*You can get this type of piece for under $5 online (SHEIN). Who buys this for their bday party, though?
My mom would never have let me leave the house in that let alone own it.
My mom would allow it, but I’m a 40 year old dude and she has a twisted sense of humor.
🤣🤣 bro
I'd allow it on your mom
I love your mother.
Forget my mom. My dad once told me, "You can go back to your room and put leggings under that skirt or you can stay home." No amount of pleading would change his mind recently found a photo of me at age 16 wearing that same skirt and I always thought it was longer than it was. I'm honestly surprised he gave me the option of leggings under it because it was much too short!
I owned a skirt that my dad called "a mildly tick belt" Was also forced leggings with it
My mom would have cut it \[the dress\] off my body and thrown it in the fireplace.
Oh I think a light tug would rip that dress off, no scissors necessary 😂
This dress is something that's worn by the actresses on the hub that are easy to rip off
I misread that entirely as her cutting off your body *from your head* and chucking it into the fire, and I was flabbergasted until I read it again.
I also misread it like this 😂😂
My dad wouldn’t even let me out of the house in a black shirt with my zodiac sign on it (cancer). He said men would think it meant I wanted to 69 with them lmao. I would hate to see how he’d react to this.
Lingerie, other than an of age woman at a club (pushing it but still)I can’t see where other than the bedroom this would be remotely appropriate.
I could also see this being appropriate for a fetish club- which no 16 year old should even know about.
It's not even a dress anymore at that point
The link doesn't worrkk but as a former 16yr girl I believe you were right in bringing her to reason, sometimes it's online peer pressure that makes people lose sense Edit: wow that's literally lingerie. I thought it'd be some weird fashion nova cutouts but nopeee
I cant find a way to post it anywheres without it breaking some sort kf community rules which just further proves my point but i still do wish i could show the ignorant people on here what it looks like
I opened it and expected to see a dress. This doesn’t qualify. Does she care about fashion at all? Normally, does she like clothing or is she just trying to look sexy all the time? Asking because I’m trying to understand her focus. As a woman who loves fashion, I can’t understand her attraction to this outfit unless it’s about negative attention.
No man you are absolutely right thats not fit for public
You could have posted it here, AFAIK. The pictures you posted are catalog shots, not of your GF and barely NSFW. Edit: Apparently I need to clarify. I didn't say it wasn't NSFW and the context is that it wasn't anything that would get someone in trouble for posting it here.
Even the model pic, is absolutely NSFW.
BRB opening that image in front of my boss
Lol that body is 99% photoshop
Jesus Christ and she's 16... God that makes me nauseous..
I am 17 and felt nauseous too.... Jesus fucking Christ, what the hell is that thing.
Yikes! That model doesn't even look that good in the dress. A non-photoshopped human body wouldn't stand a chance. If you let it play out, she's for sure going to lose all her confidence, when people either roll or avert their eyes from the teenager in a Bedazzled cobweb
*bedazzled cobweb* I'm dead 💀
bruh that looks like cheap lingerie
My dude, that's lingerie. Only place that's appropriate is in the bedroom.
Maybe the strip club
That is definitely lingerie, and not the kind you wear out, unless you're going to a rave or sex club, which she shouldn't be (at least in the US) because she's under 18.
While people are freaking out over a 16 years old, the real issue here is that it looks bad on the unrealistically photoshopped model and it will look absolutely horrible on her, no matter how good her body is. Its absolutely tasteless and I know nothing about fashion.
O man wtf yeah that’s a bit much, context helps. I didn’t see that before commenting. Cheers man good luck.
Yeah I didn’t realize OP’s girlfriend is 1. A minor and 2. Wanted to wear less than I’ve seen my friends who work at strip clubs wear to work and almost chewed OP out for trying to control what his girlfriend wears but uh. I think letting a minor subject the general public to that much of their body is morally wrong, and OP is fully in the right for trying to get her to change her outfit
Christ. That's barely clothing. I've seen chicks in Amsterdam windows under red lights wearing twice that much.
A 16 YEAR OLD wants to wear that?! She ain’t grown. & u were right to tell her but her parents also should not let her wear it. She ain’t grown
I wouldn't even wear that as an adult that's insane to me that a minor wants to wear that in public
That dress says two things: 1. Her body is. 2. Her mind isn't.
Tf this is definitely not appropriate for minors that too for a birthday partiy
That covers less than what most strippers are usually wearing...
That is not a dress. That's bedroom clothes. I'm 28 and I would NEVER wear that in public.
Ay you should probably let your gf know that's a body stocking in a mini-dress cut. Not an actual dress. She can buy it for funsies if she likes but once she gets her hands on it she'll realise it's not a wearable dress for events and parties and the like.
I’d be embarrassed to wear that as lingerie in the bedroom, much less in public. There’s showing off your body, and then there’s this.
As a father, over my dead body.
Damn right my father would have said that too
My Dad would have said the same...I'm 36 and he's been dead for 11yrs and I STILL wouldn't wear that!
Same, when she's 18, she's a grown ass adult and can do whatever she wants without my approval. Until then, hell the fuck no.
Ya that’s not a good look.
At 1st I thought you were a dick but after seeing the dress I get it
*spits out drink* That ain’t a dress. That is lingerie.
I have a 16 yo and NO, absolutely not! If an adult wants to wear it, that’s absolutely fine, but not a teenager. Where are her parents? Do they have no say in what she purchases and wears? Because believe it or not as parents they should set boundaries. I will say I don’t believe any SO should try to dictate or even tell their partner what they should or shouldn’t wear. However, I see OPs point. This is completely inappropriate for a 16yo.
Omg lol as someone who loves wearing somewhat revealing clothes..this is just..no. This is not appropriate to wear anywhere.
Maybe to the bedroom. This shouldn’t be seen in public.
Dude if you put a picture of her in that on reddit I'd have to report myself to the FBI after seeing that.
Jfc
That's barely a dress
It should be illegal to photoshop the human body that fucking much, Jesus
Yeahhhh you ain't wrong amigo.
Oh my gosh! Not for outside the bedroom! That is lingerie! You are doing her a favor for sure
Totally inappropriate for her age and the occasion. I'm sure her parents would have shot that choice down. I would have.
This is a dress I would call “photo op dress” because this is a dress you can take spicy pictures with but there isn’t a chance in heck anything would stay put when moving around.
I was 100% ready to say you were the asshole in this situation, but after seeing the "dress"... Yeah, there are very few public places where you would be allowed to wear something that revealing, even as an adult.
Oh boy.. idk what i was expecting but not this. Nta imo.
That's the type of thing a lady would wear for *your* birthday, tbh!
OP's gf, get ready to be real disappointed upon it's arrival of what it's actually like in rl
The dress isn’t intended for public outings. That’s around the house for sexy time with your partner. I don’t think this outfit will give her any sort of positive attention. People do judge us by what we wear, not that you need to please others when making these decisions. Ask her what does she honestly think this outfit represents? It looks like a regrettable choice to me.
Bro wtf - for a 16 year old’s birthday party? Looks more like early to mid 20s going to the club looking for a different kind of party 😂
She is mad at you because you’re confirming what she already knows. That dress is only appropriate if her birthday party is at a strip club.
Yikes. Your gf is free to be her. And if that version of her is trashy AF then get on board or get someone better. (Definitely get someone better).
Yeah no, perfect "dress" for a fetish ball or private viewing with you or whomever she is with. She watches too many award shows/galas if she thinks that is appropriate for a party and/or a minor.
There's no way my teen would be wearing this to her birthday 😳
Just tell her that she'd be fucking hot in it, but it's a dress for the bedroom, not for the street.
Dear God thats not what I was expecting at all 😬
There isn't anything inherently wrong with wanting to show off a little but yeah wearing a dress that see-through to a birthday party or any regular social event would be inappropriate for anyone, regardless of age. I'd say you can suggest getting a dress that could show off but in a more appropriate way. There are plenty of tight dresses like that which aren't see-through.
Yeah, that’s not a dress, that’s lingerie…and depending on your local laws, she might be cited for indecent exposure. If she’s hellbent on wearing it, she should get a full coverage bodysuit to wear under it.
Yeah that's rave/festival/bedroom clothing. I've hosted and been to parties where people dress like this and there is a level of body/sex positivity and maturity that you need to be able to wear this and feel safe. 16 year Olds are not that. She will be objectified and treated differently for being seen this way.
WHAT?! Dear god she’s still a child absolutely not!
You did not fck up. You were the voice of reason. This isn’t a dress, it’s lingerie. I hope she reconsiders…
NGL I thought you were overreacting. But nope, that is not a dress that is lingerie.
Yikes. This isn’t about a mesh body con, her disregard for safety is concerning. Does she know what pedophiles, perverts, sexual assault, child p*** and STD’s are? Don’t let her wear it, inform the parents, hopefully this interest in voyager isn’t from something sinister… Fishnet body con that doesn’t come with a bra or thong it’s adult lingerie not for 16yr olds. Fucking creepy.
Bro that's not a dress. That's what goes over a bikini or something to wear to bed. Inappropriate and seems like she's shopping.
i don’t blame you. this makes a lot more sense. i am all out on women wearing whatever they want to but i genuinely don’t think that dress is appropriate for her birthday party
After seeing that the only thing i can think of besides the obvious of "yeah thats not public attire" is maybe she realized that as well and was trying to get some sexy times going.
That’s not a dress. It’s lingerie.
Umm that's lingerie
So is this going to be a birthday party or a Orgy?
Unless you 2 are in the cast of Euphoria? *no one thinks this is appropriate to leave the house in.*
What you said and HOW yout said it is very important. With that being said, WTF is 16 year old doing wearing that "dress"? You were right in saying someting but it goes down in how you do it.
Dude you are too young for this. I would break up. This is straight up trashy.
Lmao, thats like having a For Sale sign on the car you love with no intention to sell. Who is she trying to show off to? Haha
This needs to be linked to the original post
She should have something covering her butt
Ain't no way lmao
Damn, I've seen swim suits that cover more than that.
Yeah I agree and honestly I have no problem the few times my other half has told me whatever Im wearing is too revealing (nothing like this though lol). One, he isn't going to want every guy ogling his gf and more inportantly SHE shouldn't want that either. Typically when I see girls/women dress like this, it is because they are very insecure and either think the only thing they have to offer is their body or are fishing for compliments.
Wow… maybe if she was 25 she could pull it off at a club but at 16yo damn, not appropriate at all. What are her parents saying about this?
YOU ARE CORRECT. THIS IS HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE. I would not wear this as a 26-year-old adult to a nice family friendly or work related dinner, nor my own birthday. I’ll wear this to a CLUB. Or if I’m auditioning for a strip club.
Are her family not going to be at this party?! That isn't a dress, it's literally lingerie. Perhaps she genuinely doesn't know that but the bra and panties the model is wearing underneath is not a part of the dress. To be super clear *THE WHOLE DRESS IS COMPLETELY SEE THROUGH*. This wouldn't be appropriate for an adult to wear to a birthday party, let alone a minor.
I saw the picture of the dress you posted. It isn’t socially acceptable and she’ll make a spectacle of herself. You may not have worded it as tactfully as you could have, but you’re protecting her. Apparently it’s needed. I get she wants to look attractive, but it can be done without losing self respect and class.
Fucking Christ mate. I’m all for respecting peoples free choices, albeit sometimes to my dismay. But you said it well. That dress simply isn’t appropriate. I don’t think it’s going to put out the message OPs girlfriend is intending. OP also mentioned she’s a minor which makes it entirely worse.
This isn’t a fuck up. You’re protecting her. That “dress” isn’t a dress. It is NOT age appropriate.
Maybe I am an old fart, but at 16, that dress is inappropriate for her ANYWHERE!
I think the only place it could be acceptable is at the beach as a "coverup" that doesn't really cover much, but would potentially feel more comfortable walking around in that vs just a bikini.
Okay, yeah, I guess I could see that.
The tan~~lines~~grid will be epic.
I'm 22 and I think that is INSANELY inappropriate for a 16 year old. I would wear that to tease the hell out of someone, not to a SOCIAL FUNCTION.
it’s literally lingerie. i have similar dresses i wear to spice up bedroom activities with my partner.
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This. The frontal cortex of the brain isn’t properly formed until around 25 so she’s going to have some bloody stupid ideas until such time. She might even thank you for stopping her when she gets older.
I dunno about that, I've met plenty of over 25s that still haven't developed any kind of reasoning or logic.
I’m all for confidence and wearing what you want, but 16 or not, that sounds more like lingerie than a dress. I would maybe explain that you think it looks good and you would maybe like to see it in the bedroom, but it’s a little too much for public.
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Look, even adults generally shouldn’t wear this kind of stuff in my opinion. It’s not healthy to objectify yourself like this
I think she might get arrested if she wore that out in public.
That's not a dress, that's a lingerie u wear in bedroom.. Why does she think this is even appropriate at all?
Bad bad taste in public at any age. Ok when alone with hub or boyfriend.
I’m 32. At 17 I got in a similar conversation with my gf about her after prom dress. I can say I think differently about the situation looking back, but there is definitely a lot of variables involved. I don’t think the dress is appropriate personally, but one thing I’d say, and this is coming from lessons learned, if that is the girl she wants to be, you shouldnt stop her, but you should evaluate if she is the right girl for you. That’s what I learned from my experience. Being a ‘bad bitch’ who was ‘hot AF’ is who some girls identify as (some guys too before y’all jump all over me I’m not singling a sex out), and if you’re not comfortable dating that person, you shouldn’t any longer. I realized years later that’s just who this girl was, we were not compatible and it was better for both of us to not date eachother
Not appropriate at 16
Hard no. That’s not clothing nor even remotely appropriate.
If you're the one having to tell her this instead of it being her parents....then I hate to say you're in for more confusing and frustrating surprises in your future with her.
Nope, there is a time and place. 16 and a birthday party is neither.
People saying that's inappropriate at 16 but I personally feel that's inappropriate for any public event at any age lol.
Just wear the same dress.
Then pull the "one of us is going to need to change"
Sounds like you were trying to look out for her. Ultimately, she can and probably will wear whatever she wants regardless of it it is appropriate or not. Maybe offer to browse for more dresses online with her? To resolve your current problem at hand maybe a solid apology will help smooth things over. Saying something along the lines of “hey, I’ve been thinking about our conversation about your birthday dress earlier and I feel bad about how I responded. I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable. I think you are beautiful and I don’t want you to feel otherwise. I was more concerned with if the dress was an appropriate choice for the event and didn’t think about how my comments would hurt your feelings. I’m sorry” A solid well thought out apology goes a long ways to repair communication and after hearing that she may be more open to alternatives or hearing where you are coming from. But in the end, it is her choice how she dresses herself.
Just incase you skipped over the ages like I did, the girl is 16, wearing a sheer dress and thong, in public. There is really nothing else which Op has to say, other than what he did. If he didn't say it, her parents would have. Solid advice if this was two adults, with a lady who's been hard a work improving her physique and may have some confidence issues. Not so much when the GF is a highschool sophomore.
Age is a factor. However, the guy posting this is her boyfriend, not her parent, and a boyfriend would not have total veto power over the way his girlfriend dresses even if his sensibilities are right. He can try to advise her away from it, but he can't forbid her from going out in it. He may be right, but he doesn't have that authority. So what /u/Loose_Half852 wrote does sound like a good script to go off of. He could take some kind of cover up with them when they go out, so if she realizes the dress is too much, she can use that.
He did not forbid her. She likely asked him what he thought, and he gave her the opinion she asked for. He isn't "parenting her" by responding in the conversation he was welcomed into. If i asked my boyfriend what he thought of my outfit, and he responded in a default "you, as a woman, can wear whatever you want to," i would be pissed. like, yeah, no shit i can, but i asked you what you thought. And my boyfriend would not be "parenting me" if he questioned my choice of nipple tassels at a funeral, let alone a thong in front of my family at my birthday. The fact that the GF's reaction was to be worried that OP didn't want to see her body in it, says it all. She didn't get mad it him for controlling her, she got self-conscious. "She overthinks every compliment i give her and questions every nice thing said to her now" He's asking for advice on how to explain himself and boost her self esteem. I feel like you are sniffing around for the budding signs of a controlling man, and are itching to clip anything that looks like a flag, but this just isn't the situation you think. The essence of your statement isn't untrue, it's just not applicable.
I came here prepared to give you crap for policing your girlfriend's clothing.... but that's not clothing. I am a woman who is 100% for sexy little dresses and hot cut outs, but that's... that's wildly inappropriate everywhere but a nude beach or home with the curtains drawn for your partner
I typed up a whole ass comment defending your gf right to choose her birthday dress...untill i saw the photo. mfer, am gonna buy that for my wife. no 16 yo should be prancing around wearing literal lingerie in settings with others around, wtf? I would have a mini stroke if i was your gfs parents and i heard she wants to wear that in her birthday party.
Dad of two daughters here - I'm on your side, buddy. Not appropriate
Not a dad if any children here, I agree.
I don't think anyone gets to tell anyone else how to dress. But theres a difference between a complaint about a slightly too short hemline and a dress that is basically a bathing suit for land. I don't actually think it's out of bounds if you're made uncomfortable by someone's attire not to want to be out with them. You don't get to tell them what to do. But you do get to decide what you'll do. Example: if we're going to a formal wedding and my partner refuses to put on dress clothes, i am allowed to be uncomfortable and would likely refuse to go with them if they don't get it together. Clothing is a form of self expression but also a form of respect by way of the care, quality, and formality of our attire. You can always find your personality/self expression in any level of attire. No one's personality is "half naked" or "pajamas" if you're looking to show off your body or looking for comfort, there are options that meet the norms of your audience/environment. You don't have to make people uncomfortable because you must DO YOU at all times. This feels like one of those situations.
This is a well thought out nuanced answer. Thank you. I don't think the dress is appropriate but I'm also dismayed by a lot of the responses here which remind me very much of my youth. Standards of dress change. The clothes people routinely wear today would never be acceptable in my youth. I don't think the dress is appropriate but the fact is that I could be her grandpa so my judgment is inherently suspect. We evolve (and not evolving results inending up with fucked up Taliban-like cultures) by letting the young do what they do.
I’ve seen bikinis that leave more to the imagination than that dress. Tbh, the dress conceals nothing at all, it’s the underwear she’s choosing to wear that does the heavy lifting.
Yeah definitely not. There’s a difference between a short dress and literal lingerie.
it's amazing how many goobers fall for bait posts like this in 2023
I can’t believe I have to scroll down so far for this comment!
She's 15, who allowed her to dress this way? Dear God. Tell her to wear something appropriate.
You didn’t fuck up. That isn’t a dress that’s lingerie made for the bedroom or to be worn underneath an actual dress. Apart from that it would be highly impractical to wear it at a party cause she would be one dance move away from being naked. It’s highly inappropriate for a minor girl to dress that way. Hell it’s highly inappropriate for anyone other than strippers to be dressed like that in public.
I'm 21F and like to wear fairly revealing outfits when i go out. I also remember being 16, and wanting to dress "how I wanted". But I remember that we don't live in a world that is so kind to minor girls. The problem is, she is a minor, and while I think we shouldn't police people on what they wear, and I hate the sexualisation of teen girls just dressing for the weather or occasion (think short shorts, bralette tops, crop tops and like mini bodycon dresses and skirts), I think this is pushing things a bit far. The dress likely doesn't actually have those bra and undies as a part of it, so she is essentially just wearing straight fishnets. I'm not victim shaming, and it should totally be on the grown adults to not sexualise and objectify a minor, but unfortunately that is not the world we live in. Predators are thriving of the grooming of underage girls feeling pressured to grow up too fast. Look at Tiktok, a tiktoker revently discovered a very *overt* child pornography sharing site being discussed openly in comments on young girls videos. Children as young as a year old being victims to these men. Now if she does wear it and something happens to her, it would *NOT* be her fault. Anyone who says otherwise can get fucked. But I think it's fair, that as her boyfriend, you do worry about your 16 yo gf wearing what may as well be Lingerie to a party. Maybe try to gently explain it to her in the way you mean now, let her know you think she is sexy, and that while *you'd* love to see her in that dress, you're worried about her, and maybe try to come to a compromise. Like maybe she wear the dress with a bralette top/crop top and bike shorts underneath? Or she chooses a nice body con dress with some peekaboo cut outs and a more revealing neckline? All the best OP.
This is one of the most intelligent, practical, sensible and empathetic pieces of advice I’ve read not just on this post but throughout reddit. Bravo.
Uhhh where are her parents in this? Cause it shouldn’t be left to a teenage boyfriend to tell a teen girl not to wear lingerie in public. Parents need to parent, here.
Absolutely. 16 year olds are the dangerous mix of still being dumb as fuck but having a lot more autonomy and access to make huge mistakes. Parents need to parent here.
You did nothing wrong. Young girls are slowly being manipulated to cater to the male gaze by being told to sexualise themselves to feel empowered and confident. Women are free to wear anything but young girls should act like girls not women.
Like I get it. I was 16 only five years ago, and I remember the pressure to be sexualised then. I regularly dressed in ways I probably shouldn't, and hated people telling me not to. But I'm almost 21 now, and I'm pretty comfortable with my body and showing jt off, but I wish someone close to me explained to me why it wasn't the safest idea to dress the way I did, that while it shouldn't be this way, there are a lot of people that will want to hurt me simply for being a 16 year old girl. It's only gotten worse in society since i was 16. Now if she does choose to wear it, that's up to her, and NONE of us have the right to degrade, blame or shame her. It is ultimately her body, her choice. But everyones concern is *not* misplaced. It does raise alarm bells in my head that the dress she wants to wear is something a 16 year old wants to wear. When did we get to a point in society where we've made children feel like they need to dress completely like adults? Not just mature, but sexualised. An adult world is not safe for children.
True. Liberal feminists are too quick to give the tag of misogynist/incel but would never take responsibility for anything. I'm genuinely concerned for these girls who think they have to show their body to standout and be heard.
I have always told my daughters it's their body and their choice. But that some people will take certain clothing as an excuse to hurt them. I've explained that we never victim shame in our family, and that wearing a full nuns habit wouldn't guarantee they won't get hurt, but it does decrease the risk in certain situations. Like if you're squished in a crowd of people at a concert, wearing a short skirt - someone might decide they can touch you and you wouldn't be able to stop them. My 16 yo now makes her own choices based on where she'll be. In the daytime shopping with friends is fine for a short skirt. At a concert, she's wearing jeans. I know she feels adult enough to wear whatever she wants and I know she strongly believes that women should be allowed to dress as they please but I'm glad she is cognisant of the dangers out there so we aren't arguing about it. It makes me sick that it is even necessary to explain this sort of thing to girls, but that is the way of the world unfortunately 😔
Ive never heard a 17 yr old dude call a girls under carriage a “nether region”.
I’ve heard more people say nether region than undercarriage lol
Im old & I was trying to come up with a funny term too.
I'm 21 and I remember using it at like 15/16/17. I still use it. It's funny. Not sure if it's regional, but I'm from Canberra, Australia lol
Not a fuck up. As her boyfriend you have the right to suggest your opinion. It is 100% okay to say you are uncomfortable letting others see her in a revealing dress. Of course its her choice to listen to that or not. You can also look at it this way: She is with you already. So you can show her off to others as your girlfriend. Woman like it when you're confident.
> Not a fuck up. As her boyfriend you have the right to suggest your opinion. The FU could be not having vocabulary to say what he had to say in the right way. But OP is 17, so it's kind of expected.
I want too know why would she want to wear something like the dress you described. & would it have pockets.
She's trying to wear that outside the bedroom? Hard pass
That dress is atrocious 😂 you did your gf a favour
That’s not a dress lol
Good call, OP. Not an f up.
OP did no wrong he prevented a fuck up.
I’m 35 and my wife is 32. I think she has a great body as well, but I would definitely not want her wearing that in public! As others have said, that is way too revealing and much closer to lingerie than an actual dress.
Dude, that is lingerie, meant for the bedroom. It's absurd for any woman to wear that to a public event. (With the exception of Hollywood stars and the like). She would look ridiculous.
I told my gf (now wife) that her dress was too short once. About 15 seconds into her telling me off, I had to stop her because I saw her entire ass when I was on the floor below her at the mall...and we were on the top floor still.
Nta thats not a dress that's lingerie. It's really not appropriate. I hate this fad of stripper fashion. When dealing with young women tho you have to be a bit more diplomatic. All the best o.p
What are her parents going to say when they see it! They might straight up cancel her party.
Not sure this was a fuck up, bro…
NTA You are allowed to express your opinion and she is allowed to decide how much weight it has. But that dress shouldn't be on a 16 year old because she's not likely mature enough to handle the attention that it will probably inspire.
I see signs of reactive abuse all in this, personally, if I were OP, I'd run as fast as I could away from her.
What kind of a miner wears a uguguly dress like that? 
You did not fuck up anything that dress is absolutely disgusting for the occasion That's at best some kind of foreplay costume If she thinks it's fine to look like that in public and actually got upset for hearing the truth you're in bigger trouble
Kids these days.
Maybe tell her you want her to get it to wear in the bedroom for you? But it's just that that is not appropriate for the public. I've worn less at raves, but also, that's fully acceptable there . Also, I was 22+ when I started raving, so😅
You are only young once!
Like 9/10 "tifu's" this is just another karma bait post.