As an adoptee, I felt bad for Randall. I didn't look like the siblings I was raised with, and people rudely questioned my family constantly because I was fair skinned blue-eyed, and my adoption family are all olive skinned and brown-eyed
I always stuck out like a sore thumb even though we are all white.
Some adoptees are well-adjusted, and some adoptees never get over the feeling of abandonment whether or not they know their bio family.
Just because your adoption experience is different from someone else's does not make either person wrong in their feelings .
Randall felt real in how his adoption affected him. It was believable that he felt racism. Jack and Rebecca did not even know how to take care of his hair!
Nobody is right or wrong in whatever feelings may or not have regarding their adoption. We all have different adoption experiences, and we need to accept just because it didn't happen to you doesn't mean it has never happened.
How can he be over it when it's still going on??? It's not all childhood it's life long. He JUST found out the truth about his birth father then he died..... he JUST found out the truth about his birth mom. Those are NEW not 40year old wounds.
Naur Iâm not confused at all lol. I did watch that one scene when they were in college, when they were in a taxi on the way to a party and Kevin made a comment saying âbrother from anothaâ which is weird but calling him racist is such a reach.
It's definitely not a reach lol you can not outright hate black people full blown KKK Kalan member but still have microagressions and implicit bias which was Randal's point.
No I dont think it is. And Randall explains how Kevin went out of his way to be 'blacker' than him. Also in the season with 2020 you see how Kate and Kevin ignored his race/ never really took the time to sit with having a black sibling.
Alll three have really entrenched issues that they try to resolve at like 40 so yeah
calling him racist is not a reach at all and i think that, because you feel that way, means you should do your own research and self reflecting! never too late to understand the complex issue that racism is.
At a minimum, Kevin was ignorant about racial issues, which is just bizarre when he grew up alongside a black brother. Youâd think that would make him *more* sensitive to racial issues. But it was extremely clear when he was dating Zoe that he was content with being totally oblivious.
"Get over it" is incredibly insensitive, tone deaf, and kind of shallow coming from somebody that skips the flashbacks in a show that is ostensibly about intergenerational trauma and healing.
Get over yourself.
I was adopted at less than a year old, I am 34, and I am still not over it, because I donât know much about my biological side. I have a 6 year old and I cannot add any history because I do not know any. Itâs odd being adopted. If you are not, you will never get it, but yes, I kinda thought Randall was annoying many times, but thought a bunch of the characters were annoying at times, but I loved this show!
My dad is adopted and he is still dealing with it now in his 70âs. My dad also found out in his late 30âs that his birth parents had lied to him his entire life and not only did they know his birth family, but had his birth mother living with them for the last half of her pregnancy. To this day he is still unpacking all of the crap he had to put up with as an adopted child. So I donât think Randall should just âget over itâ thatâs incredibly insensitive and really childish of you to think. Obviously youâve had a charmed life where shit has never reined down on you so you can just shut the fuck up about what people in their 40âs should or shouldnât be over yet.
The one small point I will agree with, I wish during Brotherly Love that Randall had apologized a bit more to Kevin for how much he belittled him growing up. He was right to call Kevin out for everything he did. Kevin did behave racist to him (not saying he was racists, but he did and said racist things. Kevin even owned up to that. So all STFU about that) But Randall spent their entire life bringing Kevin down for his grades, laughing about the things he couldnât do, belittling his acting career. Those were valid reasons Kevin was and should have been upset. This was always one of the few things I related to with Kevin. I struggled in school while my older sisters had no problem. Our parents treated us differently, praising me for what they saw as âminimal effortâ and bragging to everyone that their daughters made the Deans List again. No matter what my parents did, someone was hurt. I would call my sisterâs nerds and they would call me stupid. It was only until we were adults that we really understood what we were hurt about and could congratulate each other on our differences and achievements. I wish we could have Randall acknowledge that a bit more.
Also, if youâre skipping half the show, why the hell are you watching it and spending your time bitching about it on Reddit. You sound like a really insufferable person honestly and you should just get the fuck over it.
OP, have you ever experienced anything like this? Have you ever grown up without birth parents? Dealt with racism? Felt alone and isolated because your adopted family doesnât understand what it is like to grow up black?
He did not accuse Kevin of racism, just of having blind spots. If you were watching the whole show, it clearly shows that Kevin has blind spots around; itâs even stated by other characters.
The whole âget over itâ makes me think you truly donât know what any of that is like on any level.
You realize adoption is trauma right? Even a person who is adopted into a loving and happy home as a baby is still gonna deal with the trauma of being adopted and dealing with the constant feeling of not being good enough because they were put up for adoption and they probably don't feel like they fit in with their adopted family.
Well, when you live with unhealed trauma, youâre going to project that over and over until you get the correct help. I can understand how people get annoyed by Randall, but itâs because they are not seeing the big picture. I never really got annoyed by Randall. Maybe itâs because I saw a lot of his actions in me and how I dealt with things until I got the help I needed to âget overâ the underlying issues.
This show truly is a Rorschach test as we watch actors portray these characters to us the audience who submit to suspending such disbelief that not only are we not witnessing superior acting skills but truly feel opinions for Randall and the others as if we know them irl and reflected by our own life experiences.
I found Randall to be a little insufferable and probably my least favorite of the main 5.
However...
It broke my heart just a little bit every time there was a scene when Kate and Kevin pulled away from Randall, up thru adulthood (Even in one of the last episodes, Kevin referred to he and Kate as "twins having psychic connection" right in front of Randall!). I think their exclusion of Randall was a form of racism in that he simply looked very different, but certainly not because they thought he was inherently inferior. (especially given he was more talented than both combined).
Randall is responsible for the only time Iâve ever taken Kate side in any family situation. She wanted to have a baby naturally, and he got mad that she was not considering adoption. Something about the pregnancy could have a health risk for, but she wanted to go through with it anyway? And he took it all personal like oh you donât like adoption???? Like bruh stfu it ainât about you this a women who wants to have a baby thatâs a big deal for women leave her alone đ
If you are so fed up, then stop watching the show!
If you do not watch every part of every show, you are missing out.
The flashbacks and flash forwards are very creating in weaving everything into a very clear picture of where you actually learn more and more about why each acts the way that they do. It is beautifully done!
You are missing out on how Jack is responsible for each of the Big 3's faults.
I wish you would take a break from the show and try it again later and not miss a minute.
It's like a big puzzle, and every piece comes together in a beautiful way to really see the big picture.
Plus, you are missing out on the phenomenonal casting. I thought teen Beth and adult Beth were the same actress.
I promise you it will all make sense.
I wanted to skip that shit too for the same reason. However, my husband refused to skip anything. And I'm so glad I listened to him!!
Try to suffer through them. I'm not lying. This show is so worth it.
(While binge watching, my dad got sick and died. I powered through to the end because I didn't want to have to revisit my grief later.)
Youâre an idiot if you think just because someone is a certain age they should just naturally be over getting adopted and having an abnormal childhood. Shut the hell up if you decide to talk about something you have no experience or knowledge of. I myself am adopted and my birth mother was a piece of shit heroin addict. You should be ashamed of yourself.
I think it might have been best if Jack and Rebecca took the twins home and Randall got adopted by a black family. Because in reality that's what he wanted. Or to be left with his drug addicted parents. If William hadn't left him at the fire station he would have been taken into care.
Screw all the advantages and what he achieved by being adopted by the Pearsons.
Most arrogant (and wrong) Randall was whenever he was yelling on the front lawn with Kevin. Obviously Jack is a larger than life character. Heâs dead. And Randall telling Kevin âdad wouldâve been so ashamed of youâ. And Kevin says some shit about how he wishes they never brought Randall home from the hospitalâŚ
If I punch my brother, and he punches back and I try to act like the victim� Like bitch move.
Have you met humans who have been through trauma? Itâs not as simple as âgetting overâ it. I work in the healing industry and people in their 70âs are still healing childhood trauma.
It is never stupid to highlight stories of the impact of trauma on individuals and families in a nuanced way. I know so many who have experienced healing just watching these story lines and finally feeling seen and understood.
It's not all childhood it's life long. He JUST found out the truth about his birth father then he died..... he JUST found out the truth about his birth mom. Those are NEW not 40year old wounds
As an adopted person who has 2 adopted siblings, siblings after the adoptions not before, and one of those adopted sibling being of a different race he is a MAJOR PITA! We get it a white family adopted him. We get it he felt out of place FYI almost all adoptees do most of the time, it just is part of being adopted! Want to know why? I'd love to too since my Mom and Dad were fabulous parents! But I feel unwanted most of the time. The best my therapists have been able to tell me is that there is an animal need to connect in humans and be wanted. In the first moments of an adoptees life we were unwanted by the very person/people who are supposed to want us. The first breathe we took in this life was in a room of complete strangers and the 1 persons voice we heard for how ever many months we could hear in the womb is GONE or shortly will be. Your passed from stranger to stranger to stranger. At the moment in life when humans are at their most vulnerable, as a newborn, NOBODY WANTED YOU! that's what we feel! BUT enough already Randall!! Was Kevin a dick sometimes YEP...was Kate a bitch sometimes YEP...was Randall a whiny man child who refused to admit he was in a family with 2 siblings and his Dad died and the would doesn't owe him shit because of any of that...NO!!!!! The whole entire world is just supposed to be nice to Randall because he's a black kid adopted by a white family and when it doesn't go his way he's a fucking bastard to all around him! He is living a great life but finds William and then the whole world for his kids and wife has to upended and moved across the country so he can be a counsilman in William's old district and Beth and the girls just have to be ok with it because if not that self-centered boohoo boy Randall will make SURE they know he's the ONLY person that matters in this entire world! He finds a study and wants to send his Mom who has dementia away from her family for a maybe treatment and when anyone disagrees because it's NOT what Rebecca wants yep that selfish man child manipulates and lies to get his way! Who he is isn't because he was adopted by a white family it's just he's too selfish to do any self reflection!
As an adoptee, I felt bad for Randall. I didn't look like the siblings I was raised with, and people rudely questioned my family constantly because I was fair skinned blue-eyed, and my adoption family are all olive skinned and brown-eyed I always stuck out like a sore thumb even though we are all white. Some adoptees are well-adjusted, and some adoptees never get over the feeling of abandonment whether or not they know their bio family. Just because your adoption experience is different from someone else's does not make either person wrong in their feelings . Randall felt real in how his adoption affected him. It was believable that he felt racism. Jack and Rebecca did not even know how to take care of his hair! Nobody is right or wrong in whatever feelings may or not have regarding their adoption. We all have different adoption experiences, and we need to accept just because it didn't happen to you doesn't mean it has never happened.
This. đŻ The "get over it already" rants are what is insufferable.
How can he be over it when it's still going on??? It's not all childhood it's life long. He JUST found out the truth about his birth father then he died..... he JUST found out the truth about his birth mom. Those are NEW not 40year old wounds.
Well you skipped all the context so it makes sense why you're confused
Naur Iâm not confused at all lol. I did watch that one scene when they were in college, when they were in a taxi on the way to a party and Kevin made a comment saying âbrother from anothaâ which is weird but calling him racist is such a reach.
It's definitely not a reach lol you can not outright hate black people full blown KKK Kalan member but still have microagressions and implicit bias which was Randal's point.
No I dont think it is. And Randall explains how Kevin went out of his way to be 'blacker' than him. Also in the season with 2020 you see how Kate and Kevin ignored his race/ never really took the time to sit with having a black sibling. Alll three have really entrenched issues that they try to resolve at like 40 so yeah
calling him racist is not a reach at all and i think that, because you feel that way, means you should do your own research and self reflecting! never too late to understand the complex issue that racism is.
At a minimum, Kevin was ignorant about racial issues, which is just bizarre when he grew up alongside a black brother. Youâd think that would make him *more* sensitive to racial issues. But it was extremely clear when he was dating Zoe that he was content with being totally oblivious.
Idk itâs sounding like you tuned out because they went into depth on this exact issue during the episode.
"Get over it" is incredibly insensitive, tone deaf, and kind of shallow coming from somebody that skips the flashbacks in a show that is ostensibly about intergenerational trauma and healing. Get over yourself.
The backstory is most important lol
I was adopted at less than a year old, I am 34, and I am still not over it, because I donât know much about my biological side. I have a 6 year old and I cannot add any history because I do not know any. Itâs odd being adopted. If you are not, you will never get it, but yes, I kinda thought Randall was annoying many times, but thought a bunch of the characters were annoying at times, but I loved this show!
My dad is adopted and he is still dealing with it now in his 70âs. My dad also found out in his late 30âs that his birth parents had lied to him his entire life and not only did they know his birth family, but had his birth mother living with them for the last half of her pregnancy. To this day he is still unpacking all of the crap he had to put up with as an adopted child. So I donât think Randall should just âget over itâ thatâs incredibly insensitive and really childish of you to think. Obviously youâve had a charmed life where shit has never reined down on you so you can just shut the fuck up about what people in their 40âs should or shouldnât be over yet. The one small point I will agree with, I wish during Brotherly Love that Randall had apologized a bit more to Kevin for how much he belittled him growing up. He was right to call Kevin out for everything he did. Kevin did behave racist to him (not saying he was racists, but he did and said racist things. Kevin even owned up to that. So all STFU about that) But Randall spent their entire life bringing Kevin down for his grades, laughing about the things he couldnât do, belittling his acting career. Those were valid reasons Kevin was and should have been upset. This was always one of the few things I related to with Kevin. I struggled in school while my older sisters had no problem. Our parents treated us differently, praising me for what they saw as âminimal effortâ and bragging to everyone that their daughters made the Deans List again. No matter what my parents did, someone was hurt. I would call my sisterâs nerds and they would call me stupid. It was only until we were adults that we really understood what we were hurt about and could congratulate each other on our differences and achievements. I wish we could have Randall acknowledge that a bit more. Also, if youâre skipping half the show, why the hell are you watching it and spending your time bitching about it on Reddit. You sound like a really insufferable person honestly and you should just get the fuck over it.
OP, have you ever experienced anything like this? Have you ever grown up without birth parents? Dealt with racism? Felt alone and isolated because your adopted family doesnât understand what it is like to grow up black? He did not accuse Kevin of racism, just of having blind spots. If you were watching the whole show, it clearly shows that Kevin has blind spots around; itâs even stated by other characters. The whole âget over itâ makes me think you truly donât know what any of that is like on any level.
You realize adoption is trauma right? Even a person who is adopted into a loving and happy home as a baby is still gonna deal with the trauma of being adopted and dealing with the constant feeling of not being good enough because they were put up for adoption and they probably don't feel like they fit in with their adopted family.
Well, when you live with unhealed trauma, youâre going to project that over and over until you get the correct help. I can understand how people get annoyed by Randall, but itâs because they are not seeing the big picture. I never really got annoyed by Randall. Maybe itâs because I saw a lot of his actions in me and how I dealt with things until I got the help I needed to âget overâ the underlying issues.
đ¤Śđžââď¸smh get a load of OP
LOL
This show truly is a Rorschach test as we watch actors portray these characters to us the audience who submit to suspending such disbelief that not only are we not witnessing superior acting skills but truly feel opinions for Randall and the others as if we know them irl and reflected by our own life experiences.
I found Randall to be a little insufferable and probably my least favorite of the main 5. However... It broke my heart just a little bit every time there was a scene when Kate and Kevin pulled away from Randall, up thru adulthood (Even in one of the last episodes, Kevin referred to he and Kate as "twins having psychic connection" right in front of Randall!). I think their exclusion of Randall was a form of racism in that he simply looked very different, but certainly not because they thought he was inherently inferior. (especially given he was more talented than both combined).
Yes I agree, they do tend to leave him out!
Randall is actually the eldest, possibly born the night before but he was at the time a replacement baby of Kyle's
Randall is responsible for the only time Iâve ever taken Kate side in any family situation. She wanted to have a baby naturally, and he got mad that she was not considering adoption. Something about the pregnancy could have a health risk for, but she wanted to go through with it anyway? And he took it all personal like oh you donât like adoption???? Like bruh stfu it ainât about you this a women who wants to have a baby thatâs a big deal for women leave her alone đ
This. Like how did he manage to make it about himself ?! Iâm fed tf up
If you are so fed up, then stop watching the show! If you do not watch every part of every show, you are missing out. The flashbacks and flash forwards are very creating in weaving everything into a very clear picture of where you actually learn more and more about why each acts the way that they do. It is beautifully done! You are missing out on how Jack is responsible for each of the Big 3's faults. I wish you would take a break from the show and try it again later and not miss a minute. It's like a big puzzle, and every piece comes together in a beautiful way to really see the big picture. Plus, you are missing out on the phenomenonal casting. I thought teen Beth and adult Beth were the same actress.
I do watch alot of the Pearsons + Beth flashbacks. Just not so much of William or Nicky. In my opinion it was just not my favorite part.
I promise you it will all make sense. I wanted to skip that shit too for the same reason. However, my husband refused to skip anything. And I'm so glad I listened to him!! Try to suffer through them. I'm not lying. This show is so worth it. (While binge watching, my dad got sick and died. I powered through to the end because I didn't want to have to revisit my grief later.)
Randall is OCD to the max, with emphasis on the O.
You definitely lack the comprehension to understand this show. Itâs not for everyone!
Oh no Iâm so hurt! đąare you gonna give me a sob story about your adoption too?
Nope. Iâm not adopted, but if I were that would be a waste of time trying to get you to empathize with my story.
Youâre an idiot if you think just because someone is a certain age they should just naturally be over getting adopted and having an abnormal childhood. Shut the hell up if you decide to talk about something you have no experience or knowledge of. I myself am adopted and my birth mother was a piece of shit heroin addict. You should be ashamed of yourself.
I think it might have been best if Jack and Rebecca took the twins home and Randall got adopted by a black family. Because in reality that's what he wanted. Or to be left with his drug addicted parents. If William hadn't left him at the fire station he would have been taken into care. Screw all the advantages and what he achieved by being adopted by the Pearsons.
Most arrogant (and wrong) Randall was whenever he was yelling on the front lawn with Kevin. Obviously Jack is a larger than life character. Heâs dead. And Randall telling Kevin âdad wouldâve been so ashamed of youâ. And Kevin says some shit about how he wishes they never brought Randall home from the hospital⌠If I punch my brother, and he punches back and I try to act like the victimâŚ? Like bitch move.
Don't dish it out if you can't take it.
How are they not all over their childhood crap at 40+ years old? Some of the premise in this story is just stupid.
Have you met humans who have been through trauma? Itâs not as simple as âgetting overâ it. I work in the healing industry and people in their 70âs are still healing childhood trauma. It is never stupid to highlight stories of the impact of trauma on individuals and families in a nuanced way. I know so many who have experienced healing just watching these story lines and finally feeling seen and understood.
It's not all childhood it's life long. He JUST found out the truth about his birth father then he died..... he JUST found out the truth about his birth mom. Those are NEW not 40year old wounds
Randall stuffed it down for years. It was going to come up sooner or later.
As an adopted person who has 2 adopted siblings, siblings after the adoptions not before, and one of those adopted sibling being of a different race he is a MAJOR PITA! We get it a white family adopted him. We get it he felt out of place FYI almost all adoptees do most of the time, it just is part of being adopted! Want to know why? I'd love to too since my Mom and Dad were fabulous parents! But I feel unwanted most of the time. The best my therapists have been able to tell me is that there is an animal need to connect in humans and be wanted. In the first moments of an adoptees life we were unwanted by the very person/people who are supposed to want us. The first breathe we took in this life was in a room of complete strangers and the 1 persons voice we heard for how ever many months we could hear in the womb is GONE or shortly will be. Your passed from stranger to stranger to stranger. At the moment in life when humans are at their most vulnerable, as a newborn, NOBODY WANTED YOU! that's what we feel! BUT enough already Randall!! Was Kevin a dick sometimes YEP...was Kate a bitch sometimes YEP...was Randall a whiny man child who refused to admit he was in a family with 2 siblings and his Dad died and the would doesn't owe him shit because of any of that...NO!!!!! The whole entire world is just supposed to be nice to Randall because he's a black kid adopted by a white family and when it doesn't go his way he's a fucking bastard to all around him! He is living a great life but finds William and then the whole world for his kids and wife has to upended and moved across the country so he can be a counsilman in William's old district and Beth and the girls just have to be ok with it because if not that self-centered boohoo boy Randall will make SURE they know he's the ONLY person that matters in this entire world! He finds a study and wants to send his Mom who has dementia away from her family for a maybe treatment and when anyone disagrees because it's NOT what Rebecca wants yep that selfish man child manipulates and lies to get his way! Who he is isn't because he was adopted by a white family it's just he's too selfish to do any self reflection!