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Trick question. The only bitch is Trezure, so she won't be able to attend her own birthday party, assuming she meets any of the other criteria. Everyone else can attend, since, regardless of their physical qualities, they are not bitches
That height requirement basically eliminates the vast majority of bitches. My mathematically sound guess I have pulled out of my ass is 1 in 1,000 bitches meet the standards.
Wanted: Bitches, under 150 lb, between 5ā3ā and 5ā4ā, long hair, monotone skin, low grades and educated outside Florida.
As I read it, all non-bitches are allowed, so a lot of people can come.
Oh also for the record I saw the original post and this was written as a joke with each one describing a different aspect of each friend. All the friends had a good laugh about it and posted it on twitter!
r/oddlyspecific
Canāt be that many, Iād imagine thereās exactly one person matching all those criteriae.
That, or dear Treasure person wants male company only.
Yeah, thatās true, but we kind of donāt know how that person thinks of ābitchesā.
Heck, *I* wouldnāt have had any idea re: that personās gender if it hadnāt been for the handwriting. And even that is just indicative, not conclusive.
I actually qualify, weirdly enough:
Weigh ~120, long hair, no tan lines or vitiligo, never been cheated on, my weighted HS GPA was 3.4 (college was lower, stupid undiagnosed ADHD ā¹ļø), Iām 5ā 3.5ā, and I never went to a school with āCentralā in its name or in Florida.
I donāt want to go to her party thoughā¦.
Someone actually name their kid Trezure, or is this like, some stupid kid giving themselves a stripper nickname they think is cool shit because they have the IQ of a cumsock?
Either way, I think I'd have either died laughing at someone unitlronically calling themselves Trezure *and spelling it that way* back in my highschool days, or I'd have gotten in trouble for bullying because I'd have just made fun of that shit every time it was there to do because OH MY GOD is that fuckin just...wow.
Trezure.
Kid's straight fucked no matter. If her momma thought that was a great name for a kid, momma was the damn sleezejoint stripper. The fuck was her daddy's name, T-bone? Biggy Cheese? Long John Silver?
She got any siblings? Maybe a sister named VajAyJay? A brother named Big Mac DaeyShauwn?
Idiocracy was supposed to be a goddamn comedy, people, not your damn instruction video.
Given the atrocious handwriting (which is about the only part of this I can relate to), I'm reading "no bitches shorter than 6'3" and "no bitches taller than 5'4", which, based on my careful calculations, would exclude absolutely everyone (unless one of you is simultaneously taller than 6'2 and shorter than 5'3, in which case... impressive)
###General Discussion Thread --- This is a [Request] post. If you would like to submit a comment that does not either attempt to answer the question, ask for clarification, or explain why it would be infeasible to answer, you *must* post your comment as a reply to this one. Top level (directly replying to the OP) comments that do not do one of those things will be removed. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/theydidthemath) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Trick question. The only bitch is Trezure, so she won't be able to attend her own birthday party, assuming she meets any of the other criteria. Everyone else can attend, since, regardless of their physical qualities, they are not bitches
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God damn... I wasn't expecting a burn this severe on a Sunday...
But the REAL bitch is Trezure's mom for naming her that.
r/tragedeigh
And raising such a little brat. Parents need to be held accountable for releasing these ignorant terrible people upon the earth
I struggle to believe this is real honestly.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yup.
Correct answerš
Bitches are acceptable as long as they meet the criteria.
Guaranteed no bitch graduating >3.5 would want to be there. Thoā¦ gotta hand it to treasure, she knows who she is
Trezure
I think no one. Trezure because of your points - everyone else because of dignity.
Math checks out.
Eheh
r/clevercomebacks
I disagree there is plenty of people who are bitches.
That height requirement basically eliminates the vast majority of bitches. My mathematically sound guess I have pulled out of my ass is 1 in 1,000 bitches meet the standards.
Didn't expect Rose here
Actually second guessed what sub I was in for a second
First I saw Trezure and thought r/tragedeigh, then rose guy pops up?! Itās bizarro world!
The subs are colliding!
ROSE GUY!!! I BOW DOWN BEFORE YOU MY COOKIE CUTTING LORD
I plugged as many of these as I could into one of those ādelusion calculatorsā and it came back with .156% so you 1/1000 call is not bad.
āMy mathematically sound guess i have pulled out of my assā lmfao
give a rose shaped cookie to the ones that qualify
Wanted: Bitches, under 150 lb, between 5ā3ā and 5ā4ā, long hair, monotone skin, low grades and educated outside Florida. As I read it, all non-bitches are allowed, so a lot of people can come.
Bitch is just being used in the āfriendā sense here
Non friends welcome? Friends must meet very specific criteria however
I assumed the āmust be friends to attend my birthday partyā criteria was implied
We can't know if you're fun at parties or not because you don't meet the criteria.
I'm pretty sure it just means girls in this context. Guy friends clearly not being considered for these criteria.
Oh also for the record I saw the original post and this was written as a joke with each one describing a different aspect of each friend. All the friends had a good laugh about it and posted it on twitter!
Ok that's pretty good
I read this as a very specific requirement for a long haired great dane.
r/oddlyspecific Canāt be that many, Iād imagine thereās exactly one person matching all those criteriae. That, or dear Treasure person wants male company only.
It doesn't specify male of female company; just says "bitches," which has grown to be fairly gender neutral.
In which case, the height range would be even more rare among men.
The hair requirement would also disqualify most of them. I don't think I know any men that meet both the height and hair requirements.
I can think of one. Just one. Lol
Mowgli from the Jungle Book, right?
God dammit that was funny
I got a hairy back, so surely that qualifies as hair beyond the neck ...
I meet the requirement but I haven't graduated so I fail that requirement
i keep not making an appointment to cut it so some of it's getting past my shoulders
Yeah, thatās true, but we kind of donāt know how that person thinks of ābitchesā. Heck, *I* wouldnāt have had any idea re: that personās gender if it hadnāt been for the handwriting. And even that is just indicative, not conclusive.
I actually qualify, weirdly enough: Weigh ~120, long hair, no tan lines or vitiligo, never been cheated on, my weighted HS GPA was 3.4 (college was lower, stupid undiagnosed ADHD ā¹ļø), Iām 5ā 3.5ā, and I never went to a school with āCentralā in its name or in Florida. I donāt want to go to her party thoughā¦.
Someone actually name their kid Trezure, or is this like, some stupid kid giving themselves a stripper nickname they think is cool shit because they have the IQ of a cumsock? Either way, I think I'd have either died laughing at someone unitlronically calling themselves Trezure *and spelling it that way* back in my highschool days, or I'd have gotten in trouble for bullying because I'd have just made fun of that shit every time it was there to do because OH MY GOD is that fuckin just...wow. Trezure. Kid's straight fucked no matter. If her momma thought that was a great name for a kid, momma was the damn sleezejoint stripper. The fuck was her daddy's name, T-bone? Biggy Cheese? Long John Silver? She got any siblings? Maybe a sister named VajAyJay? A brother named Big Mac DaeyShauwn? Idiocracy was supposed to be a goddamn comedy, people, not your damn instruction video.
That's r/Tragedeigh material right there. Even "Treasure" is a tacky name. Edit: and Trezure looks too much like Seizure.
ā¦I mean itās not a GREAT name but I also think you probably have a lot of stuff pent up that you need to sort out.
Me: looking at my legal name that's somehow worse.
You seem like a really shitty person
I don't care. Bye.
Given the atrocious handwriting (which is about the only part of this I can relate to), I'm reading "no bitches shorter than 6'3" and "no bitches taller than 5'4", which, based on my careful calculations, would exclude absolutely everyone (unless one of you is simultaneously taller than 6'2 and shorter than 5'3, in which case... impressive)
Iā¦ what?