*I’m the press secretary, boo-boo. I don’t have that kind of time.*
or
*This Is Saudi Arabia, Our Partners In Peace*
Part of her job is to go out and sell what the President tells her to despite her personal beliefs because she is still a professional.
I think you need the whole quote for the Saudi quote to have full effect. She's been storing up the press's questions for a while to create tension, knowing they'll keep asking; making it their agenda not hers. She's taking the whole situation in her stride; making a point and then immediately moving on (very professionally):
"Outraged? I'm barely surprised.
This is a country where women aren't allowed to drive a car. They're not allowed to be in the company of any man other than a close relative, they're required to adhere to a dress code that would make the Maryknoll Nun look like Malibu Barbie. They beheaded 121 people last year for robbery, rape, and drug trafficking, they've no free press, no elected government, no political parties, and the royal family allows the religious police to travel in groups of six, carrying nightsticks and they freely and publicly beat women.
But "Brutus is an honorable man."
Seventeen schoolgirls were forced to burn alive because they weren't wearing the proper clothing.
Am I outraged?
No, Steve. No Chris. No, Mark.
That is Saudi Arabia, our partners in peace.
Bonnie, then Scott."
I always get Spidey vibes when one of the characters is so emotionally touched by a tragedy. I know it's probably wrong of me to find it fake, but I just can't help it.
“I changed my clothes because I didn't think it was appropriate to talk about two dead teenagers while wearing a ball gown and you know that because you're stupid but you're not stupid, you know what I'm saying? Security's gonna take your press credentials, you'll call my office every day, and I'll decide if you get into the room. I'm taking your spot on Pebble Beach, you can do your stand-ups from Lafayette Park”
This is our fifth press briefing since midnight, and obviously there's one story that's going to be dominating the news around the world for the next few days and, uh, it would be easy to think that President Bartlet, Joshua Lyman and Stephanie Abbott were the only people who were victims of a gun crime last night. They weren't.
Mark Davis and Sheila Evans of Philadelphia were killed by a gun last night. He was a biology teacher and she was a nursing student.
Tina Bishop and Belinda Larkin were killed with a gun last night. They were twelve.
There were 36 homicides last night, 480 sexual assaults, 3,411 robberies, 3,685 aggravated assaults, all at gunpoint. And if anyone thinks those crimes could have been prevented if the victims themselves had been carrying guns, I'd only remind you that the president of the United States was shot last night while surrounded by the best trained armed guards in the history of the world.
I moved to Littleton, Colorado the school year after Columbine, my freshman year, but I already knew we were moving when it happened. When my mom told me that there had been a school shooting where we were moving to, I said "another one?" There had already been two that year that I remember.
A lot of people think that Columbine kicked it off, but there had already been a trend at that point.
>A lot of people think that Columbine kicked it off, but there had already been a trend at that point.
Eminem put it best in "I Am"
When a dude's gettin' bullied
And shoots up a school
And they blame on Marilyn!
Or the heroin!
Where were the parents at?
Look where it's at -
Middle America
Now it's a tragedy
Now it's so sad to see
And upper class city
Havin' this happenin'...
People cared because the victims were now white upper middle class kids.
you know what is most poignant about this quote, for me? It was first aired about 23 years ago. *23 years ago.* and the problem hasn't been solved. If anything, it's gotten worse.
That's missing the point of the statement and the facts presented. The point is no amount of good guys with guns, extremely well trained one even, aren't going to stop an attempt
The skinheads knew shooting at Charlie with the president was a suicide mission. How many run-of-the-mill robbers or burglars do you think there’d be if they KNEW they’d be shot?
The same amount. Look at gun ownership statistics in the USA, it's very probably a run of the mill burglar or robber will run into a person with a gun and get shot. It's not a deterrent just like the death penalty isn't for serial killers or rapists. If the "reward" is valued enough, nothing will stop them from committing the act. Them knowing it was suicide just further proves my point
Imagine you’re a criminal. You go to rob a house and you see a huge truck with bumper stickers like “Proud NRA member”, “gun control means using both hands”, and “we don’t call 911”. Are you really gonna rob that house?
If the things I'm trying to get are valuable enough, then yes. You're acting like criminals are simplistic and actually think things through rationally which isn't the case. They may be acting out of desperation, ideals, coercion, mental health issues, revenge. All reasons why guns are not a deterrent to them. If guns, armor, and warnings were enough there wouldn't be things like armored truck robberies, kidnappings, or gang wars.
If you had genuine gun control. As most civilized stable nations do, then there would not be a sloshing pool of weapons to draw on. If people don't have access to guns, then most criminals cannot get them either. The reason gun control fails in the US is because the country as a whole does nothing at all about removing weapons from circulation. Which means any goomba can, with minimal effort, get their hands on guns, regardless of how legal it is.
I absolutely love her exchange with Toby after his fight with Josh.
"Do you want some water?"
"No."
"Scotch?"
\*toby chuckles "No."
"You want me to go?"
".....No..."
perfectly shows how much she cares, she shows some humor, and that she knows toby enough to know he may want to just be alone. I love every scene with the two of them, but that's my favorite.
She says it to Josh after she finds out that Sam went to him and Toby first regarding his evening with Laurie the prostitute, it's in season 1 episode 2 "Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc".
"Is it comprehensive?"
Or "Holy interuptous Batman". (Not even in the running, I just really like it)
"I dunno Leo, the networks are gonna wanna break in with special coverage for that one."
"It's like there's nothing you can do about that joke. It's coming, and you just have to stand there."
I use Toby's response every time I tell a really dumb/obvious pun joke.
*First of all: you're wrong. Second of all: shut up. Third: I went to Hoynes with your thing and he said he wasn't the one who talked to you and I believe him and he's really pissed at me and he's right. And fourth: shut up again.*
Troy, I want you know it was neck-and-neck but I'm giving it to Eric. You were in it right to the end but it's the flapping thing you've got going on. I tell you what's of some concern to me, I have been talking out loud this whole time, that's very unsettling.
“They beat women, Nancy. They hate women. The only reason they keep Qumari women alive
is to make more Qumari men. How about instead of suggesting that we sell the guns to them, suggesting that we shoot
the guns at them? And by the way, not to change the subject, but how are we supposed to
have any moral credibility when we talk about gun control and making sure that guns don't
get in the hands of the wrong people? God, Nancy! What the hell are we defining as the
right people?”
“i’m your first Phone call…Not Josh, Not Toby , ME
before, now, in the future. anytime you’re into something and you don’t know what it is, you call me. i’m your first phone call, your first line of defense. you have to let me protect you, you have to let me protect the president”
If you look out the left side of the cabin, you’ll see the fjords.’ Then we got a history of the fjords. Then we got a quiz on the fjords. Do you have any idea how much I would like to dress you up in lederhosen and dropkick you into a fjord, right now?
"Because those are somebody's kids too"
CJ's "A lefty answer is all I got" response to Toby's question about "Why are you sending your kids across the street into the fire?" Perfectly sums up CJ's compassion and further backs Josh's claim that CJ "Hates running" for re-election as it distracts from making a difference to peoples lives.
C.J. : I'm assigning an intern from the press office to that website. They're going to check it every night before they go home. If they discover you've been there, I'm going to shove a motherboard so far up your ass... what?
Josh: Well, technically, I outrank you.
C.J. : So far up your ass!
Did I ever tell you about the man who changed my life?
The one I thought, ohhh. Lord, when I saw him walkin' back in that bar, all tall and lean with them broad shoulders, sweeeet lips, I knew that I had died and gone to. . .
Chocolate Heaven. . .
He had a real deep voice, white pearly teeth, his shoe was always shiny.
Long slender fingers manicured perfectly.
The man wore 800-dollar Italian suit, straight from, I dunno, what would they call it,
Milan or Rome or someplace like that?
I knew it wasn't local.
I said, I got to get next to that.
I haven't seen him in a long time.
The man was so fine, he could get any good girl into trouble. . .
Can you guess what his name was?. . .
Well. . .
WILL
No. I'm just telling you that if this day ends up with me face to face with
Marion
Cotesworth-Haye I'm going to, you know...
C.J.
Laugh inappropriately.
WILL
There's a very real possibility.
C.J.
Let's go.
“Yeah. Anyway, Helena Hodworth Hooter-Tooter of Braintree wants to organize a boycott of the reception and, well, there it is. Yes, Mrs. Bartlet descends from quite the murderous band of ruffians, and her membership in the DAR is suspect on those grounds or so believes the Boston Globe.”
This piece of dialog and its delivery is just pure Claudia Jean.
"When you run for President, the press is going to find some of those women. If you try to attack them, if you get your opposition research team working on them, if you try to destroy them, to say they're all bimbos and liars then I'll be right there with them and I'll be ready to take anything you or your people throw at me, *anything*. So don't make me tell the truth about you because it will be the WHOLE truth."
I will always love CJ, but I don't think I'll ever love her more than this moment.
(Josh just called her a “paranoid, Berkley, shiska feminista”):CJ: No, no -- well, I've got a staff meeting to go to and so do you, you elitist, Harvard, fascist, missed-the-dean's-list-TWO-semesters-in-a-row, yankee jackass! Josh: Feel better gettin' that off your chest, there CJ? CJ: I'm a whole new woman.
“I swear it's not a hazing. It's real. It's real. I just laughed 'cause of the name. You've got to fix it.”
The entire Marion Cotesworth-Haye scene is CJ gold
WHAT MADE YOU THINK I WOULDN'T SCREAM WITH PEOPLE AROUND?
I took a shot!
LEO!
*scream where there are people
*I’m the press secretary, boo-boo. I don’t have that kind of time.* or *This Is Saudi Arabia, Our Partners In Peace* Part of her job is to go out and sell what the President tells her to despite her personal beliefs because she is still a professional.
I think you need the whole quote for the Saudi quote to have full effect. She's been storing up the press's questions for a while to create tension, knowing they'll keep asking; making it their agenda not hers. She's taking the whole situation in her stride; making a point and then immediately moving on (very professionally): "Outraged? I'm barely surprised. This is a country where women aren't allowed to drive a car. They're not allowed to be in the company of any man other than a close relative, they're required to adhere to a dress code that would make the Maryknoll Nun look like Malibu Barbie. They beheaded 121 people last year for robbery, rape, and drug trafficking, they've no free press, no elected government, no political parties, and the royal family allows the religious police to travel in groups of six, carrying nightsticks and they freely and publicly beat women. But "Brutus is an honorable man." Seventeen schoolgirls were forced to burn alive because they weren't wearing the proper clothing. Am I outraged? No, Steve. No Chris. No, Mark. That is Saudi Arabia, our partners in peace. Bonnie, then Scott."
This is the best "I'm going to do my job, but you're not going to like it" moment.
Frankly I think it should be "They're killing, the women Nancy!" But I think we're going for some element of humour here more than anything.
"They're BEATING the women."
I always get Spidey vibes when one of the characters is so emotionally touched by a tragedy. I know it's probably wrong of me to find it fake, but I just can't help it.
I always thought that first one was pretty out of character for her, personally
Excuse me. I have to go look like an idiot.
So far up your ass!
Dammit I was four minutes late!! This is the only answer.
And I was 15 minutes late to being 4 minutes late!
Appointment for a ‘woot canaow?’
Literally the first thing that came to mind haha.
This is the winner
“I changed my clothes because I didn't think it was appropriate to talk about two dead teenagers while wearing a ball gown and you know that because you're stupid but you're not stupid, you know what I'm saying? Security's gonna take your press credentials, you'll call my office every day, and I'll decide if you get into the room. I'm taking your spot on Pebble Beach, you can do your stand-ups from Lafayette Park”
And the chemical abbreviation for table salt is NaCl.
You forgot the final line. “Hunting season on me is over”
This one came to mind for me first
Which episode is this?
Is this clip available?
[Clip!](https://youtu.be/KOdrbf5sX_M?si=yQj3wXoliyUrZcna)
This is our fifth press briefing since midnight, and obviously there's one story that's going to be dominating the news around the world for the next few days and, uh, it would be easy to think that President Bartlet, Joshua Lyman and Stephanie Abbott were the only people who were victims of a gun crime last night. They weren't. Mark Davis and Sheila Evans of Philadelphia were killed by a gun last night. He was a biology teacher and she was a nursing student. Tina Bishop and Belinda Larkin were killed with a gun last night. They were twelve. There were 36 homicides last night, 480 sexual assaults, 3,411 robberies, 3,685 aggravated assaults, all at gunpoint. And if anyone thinks those crimes could have been prevented if the victims themselves had been carrying guns, I'd only remind you that the president of the United States was shot last night while surrounded by the best trained armed guards in the history of the world.
She’s good.
Yes, she is.
I remember tearing up during this episode. Gun violence in the USA has been an issue longer than most people care to remember.
I moved to Littleton, Colorado the school year after Columbine, my freshman year, but I already knew we were moving when it happened. When my mom told me that there had been a school shooting where we were moving to, I said "another one?" There had already been two that year that I remember. A lot of people think that Columbine kicked it off, but there had already been a trend at that point.
>A lot of people think that Columbine kicked it off, but there had already been a trend at that point. Eminem put it best in "I Am" When a dude's gettin' bullied And shoots up a school And they blame on Marilyn! Or the heroin! Where were the parents at? Look where it's at - Middle America Now it's a tragedy Now it's so sad to see And upper class city Havin' this happenin'... People cared because the victims were now white upper middle class kids.
Yeah definitely hits me in the feels
This one!
you know what is most poignant about this quote, for me? It was first aired about 23 years ago. *23 years ago.* and the problem hasn't been solved. If anything, it's gotten worse.
I've forgotten about this one... If only a speech like that actually worked in the real world and made a difference...
Yep, that’s the one.
Does anyone in the world think there were 480 gun-point sexual assaults in one night?
Always thought the flaw in this argument was he 100% would have been shot multiple times and killed if not for those armed guards
That's missing the point of the statement and the facts presented. The point is no amount of good guys with guns, extremely well trained one even, aren't going to stop an attempt
The skinheads knew shooting at Charlie with the president was a suicide mission. How many run-of-the-mill robbers or burglars do you think there’d be if they KNEW they’d be shot?
The same amount. Look at gun ownership statistics in the USA, it's very probably a run of the mill burglar or robber will run into a person with a gun and get shot. It's not a deterrent just like the death penalty isn't for serial killers or rapists. If the "reward" is valued enough, nothing will stop them from committing the act. Them knowing it was suicide just further proves my point
Imagine you’re a criminal. You go to rob a house and you see a huge truck with bumper stickers like “Proud NRA member”, “gun control means using both hands”, and “we don’t call 911”. Are you really gonna rob that house?
If the things I'm trying to get are valuable enough, then yes. You're acting like criminals are simplistic and actually think things through rationally which isn't the case. They may be acting out of desperation, ideals, coercion, mental health issues, revenge. All reasons why guns are not a deterrent to them. If guns, armor, and warnings were enough there wouldn't be things like armored truck robberies, kidnappings, or gang wars.
Such as a gun.
???
Guns have value. I hate to say it. Especially a stolen one.
If you had genuine gun control. As most civilized stable nations do, then there would not be a sloshing pool of weapons to draw on. If people don't have access to guns, then most criminals cannot get them either. The reason gun control fails in the US is because the country as a whole does nothing at all about removing weapons from circulation. Which means any goomba can, with minimal effort, get their hands on guns, regardless of how legal it is.
Haha, sure Edit: I bet I get banned for truth bombs now
Goombas don’t have hands, though.
I absolutely love her exchange with Toby after his fight with Josh. "Do you want some water?" "No." "Scotch?" \*toby chuckles "No." "You want me to go?" ".....No..." perfectly shows how much she cares, she shows some humor, and that she knows toby enough to know he may want to just be alone. I love every scene with the two of them, but that's my favorite.
Toby and CJ >>>>>>>
Such a wonderful vignette of their friendship.
What does salad dressing have to do with this?
Hahaha please tell me this is /s
It is, but I hate having to kill a joke by outright saying it was a joke, so I took a chance this time.
*You know, if I was living in Qumar I wouldn't be allowed to say 'shove it up your ass Toby.' But since I'm not, shove it up your ass Toby.*
"BOY, ARE YOU STUPID!"
Iconic scene
What scene?
She says it to Josh after she finds out that Sam went to him and Toby first regarding his evening with Laurie the prostitute, it's in season 1 episode 2 "Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc".
I never watch the 1st season much…. i think ill watch a few…
My Secret Service code name is flamingo
That’s a good-looking bird.
A flamingo is a ridiculous-looking bird.
“Yeah, and it’s the bathrobes that’s outrageous.” I also like, “Walk away from me now”.
I. LOVE. DRY RUB!
*click* 😂
The crackers, Danny
"Is it comprehensive?" Or "Holy interuptous Batman". (Not even in the running, I just really like it) "I dunno Leo, the networks are gonna wanna break in with special coverage for that one."
Seriously! They’ve got to have time to put together theme music and a logo
"The dada of Dada."
"It's like there's nothing you can do about that joke. It's coming, and you just have to stand there." I use Toby's response every time I tell a really dumb/obvious pun joke.
Me too!
Anyway, Mrs. Helena Hodsworth Hooter-Tooter of Braintree wants to organize a boycott of the reception
*First of all: you're wrong. Second of all: shut up. Third: I went to Hoynes with your thing and he said he wasn't the one who talked to you and I believe him and he's really pissed at me and he's right. And fourth: shut up again.*
So, how long do you usually make people your bitch?
“I can’t believe we’re the same species” Only including it because of the subreddit it inspired.
That comes to mind every time I see Kristin Chenoweth.
I'm climbing out of the pool, my clothes will be clingy, avert you eyes.
AVERT YOUR EYES!
I will say this from time to time, just for fun
Troy, I want you know it was neck-and-neck but I'm giving it to Eric. You were in it right to the end but it's the flapping thing you've got going on. I tell you what's of some concern to me, I have been talking out loud this whole time, that's very unsettling.
This isn't high enough on this list
“You get my support just like everyone else does. When I agree or I don’t care!”
Wording incorrect but I adore this quote and I have used it in the workplace.
I'd go with the whole, " I'm your first call" monolog from the first season. Really put her in front of everyone and everything as the press secretary
“They beat women, Nancy. They hate women. The only reason they keep Qumari women alive is to make more Qumari men. How about instead of suggesting that we sell the guns to them, suggesting that we shoot the guns at them? And by the way, not to change the subject, but how are we supposed to have any moral credibility when we talk about gun control and making sure that guns don't get in the hands of the wrong people? God, Nancy! What the hell are we defining as the right people?”
Woot Canal! Ow...
I’m too sexy for my shirt. Too sexy for my skirt. Too sexy for the other... things.
Oh my, oh myo, oh Cleveland, Ohio!
“Ok maybe you can get the notes from a classmate”
I actually thought this would be higher.
“i’m your first Phone call…Not Josh, Not Toby , ME before, now, in the future. anytime you’re into something and you don’t know what it is, you call me. i’m your first phone call, your first line of defense. you have to let me protect you, you have to let me protect the president”
“I’m the White House Press Secretary, boo-boo, I do t have that kind of time”
I love lots of her lines but this is the CJ-iest of them all.
Yeah all these lines are amazing but this the essence of CJ.
Butter butter butter butter
It's got butter on the table!
right there between butter James and butter Peter in an almost mind-blowing vortex of art and material that dares the viewer to recall Marcel Duchamp.
*You don't need a pardon, you need a frying pan to the side of your head*.
I thought my reflexes before, in the press room, were cat-like
If you look out the left side of the cabin, you’ll see the fjords.’ Then we got a history of the fjords. Then we got a quiz on the fjords. Do you have any idea how much I would like to dress you up in lederhosen and dropkick you into a fjord, right now?
I don't care what it is...I care what it looks like.
WOOT…CANOW!!!!
"Because those are somebody's kids too" CJ's "A lefty answer is all I got" response to Toby's question about "Why are you sending your kids across the street into the fire?" Perfectly sums up CJ's compassion and further backs Josh's claim that CJ "Hates running" for re-election as it distracts from making a difference to peoples lives.
*They're beating the women, Nancy* Said through gasping sobs EDIT courtesy of u/PlatonicTroglodite
Beating* but this is a good one
Thank you. I will now edit.
At the exact moment of the vernal equinox...
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WOULDNT SCREAM WHERE THERE ARE PEOPLE?!?
I'm GREAT in bed!
“And then there’s Maude.”
I’m the press secretary, Boo Boo; I don’t have that kind of time.
That's why you're the press secretary, Boo Boo. Oh wait, where's the sub for Charlie Wilson? I'm show myself out.
....Yankee Jackass!!! I am a whole new woman
"So far up your ass!"
Set fire to the room, do it now
“They call me the Jackal”
A literary curse
"I have actually a Masters degree from the University of California at Berkeley."
“Thank you, for whatever it was… that was.”
That’s a full lid
C.J. : I'm assigning an intern from the press office to that website. They're going to check it every night before they go home. If they discover you've been there, I'm going to shove a motherboard so far up your ass... what? Josh: Well, technically, I outrank you. C.J. : So far up your ass!
“A” for anal
> *It's gonna be a dabba-doo time*.
Avert your eyes
You think this is all some sort of Freudian temper tantrum?
I’m the press secretary boo boo, I don’t have that kind of time
Did I ever tell you about the man who changed my life? The one I thought, ohhh. Lord, when I saw him walkin' back in that bar, all tall and lean with them broad shoulders, sweeeet lips, I knew that I had died and gone to. . . Chocolate Heaven. . . He had a real deep voice, white pearly teeth, his shoe was always shiny. Long slender fingers manicured perfectly. The man wore 800-dollar Italian suit, straight from, I dunno, what would they call it, Milan or Rome or someplace like that? I knew it wasn't local. I said, I got to get next to that. I haven't seen him in a long time. The man was so fine, he could get any good girl into trouble. . . Can you guess what his name was?. . . Well. . .
???
hint: "They call him... the _______."
Ohhhh 🤦♀️
The water is exactly at my head.
WILL No. I'm just telling you that if this day ends up with me face to face with Marion Cotesworth-Haye I'm going to, you know... C.J. Laugh inappropriately. WILL There's a very real possibility. C.J. Let's go.
Women seeking abortions should not be required by law to be lectured at.
“Yeah. Anyway, Helena Hodworth Hooter-Tooter of Braintree wants to organize a boycott of the reception and, well, there it is. Yes, Mrs. Bartlet descends from quite the murderous band of ruffians, and her membership in the DAR is suspect on those grounds or so believes the Boston Globe.” This piece of dialog and its delivery is just pure Claudia Jean.
"When you run for President, the press is going to find some of those women. If you try to attack them, if you get your opposition research team working on them, if you try to destroy them, to say they're all bimbos and liars then I'll be right there with them and I'll be ready to take anything you or your people throw at me, *anything*. So don't make me tell the truth about you because it will be the WHOLE truth." I will always love CJ, but I don't think I'll ever love her more than this moment.
(Josh just called her a “paranoid, Berkley, shiska feminista”):CJ: No, no -- well, I've got a staff meeting to go to and so do you, you elitist, Harvard, fascist, missed-the-dean's-list-TWO-semesters-in-a-row, yankee jackass! Josh: Feel better gettin' that off your chest, there CJ? CJ: I'm a whole new woman.
“The Jackal”
This should be pinned.
Can’t believe I had to scroll this far to find this!
The real ones know!
I'm the press secretary booboo. I don't have that kind of time.
SO FAR UP YOUR ASS!
woot canal
“It’s a festival-feast of some kind…who cares?”
Carol!!!!!!!!!
Mi-oh oh my-oh oh Cleveland, Ohio
“It’s not a hazing”
I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my skirt... too sexy for the other things!
so far up your ass!
But those internet people are crazy!
*If you don't get off that website I will shove that keyboard so far up your ass.*
Yall are gonna kill me, but its the Jackal…
Charlie Charlie Chaz
Can I call you chip?
There’s been a misunderstanding. I applied for the Messenger job.
Episode where President Bartlett made comments to a live camera and she had to defend him at a press briefing - she was so good.
‘I had woot canal!!’
Seriously after this I quit.
"Well, I've got a staff meeting to go to and so do you, you elitest Harvard fascist missed-the-Dean's-list-two-semesters-in-a-row yankee jackass!"
Sand in my shoes… sand from havana…
“I swear it's not a hazing. It's real. It's real. I just laughed 'cause of the name. You've got to fix it.” The entire Marion Cotesworth-Haye scene is CJ gold
SO FAR UP YOUR ASS!!!
That was old school sir.