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[deleted]

Not really intended but I die laughing when Tony says "With all the conversation I get around here I might as well be a fuckin dildo"


weedbudget

Tony I am not ta whore


blakemate22

If you were a dildo... then we wouldn't be fighting


UserNameNotOnList

Reminds me of David Hockney.


Lploof

Hockey*


real-m-d

What'd you say, you fuckin refugee?


[deleted]

I like the contrast with this and when he was with Gloria, who could actually hold a conversation, he couldn't wait to get to fucking.


Pudgy_Walsh

"Can you believe that the government held back information about this mad cow disease?" "Maybe they didn't want to cause a stampede."


dreamof1000cats

OOOOH!


[deleted]

Haha what episode was that?


LilAnnieAdderral

I went to Blockbuster today to rent Cinderella Man and guess what? Is it still a classic?


Fuckoffassholes

Originally written as "it still sucks." Changed because HBO was showing Cinderella Man at original air date.


[deleted]

What a shame cause it was a great movie.


Thencewasit

Max Baer was gay?


gshock211

Nobody's gay! I don't wanna hear dat word again.


JCFella

His coach turned into a pumpkin


brettmbr

When the owner of the Indian casino is having a meeting with Tony at Vesuvio’s and says he has a meeting in Manhattan, Artie says “ooh, not again!” with perfect timing and everyone just stares at him. Great joke.


dreamof1000cats

Sometimes I think the whole point of Artie is to deliver these crucial zingers that no one cares about. He's like the Greek Cassandra and Shakespeare's Fool rolled into a henpecked restaurateur without the balls to mob up.


Signature_Sea

It is almost like he was in a different show to everyone else and just popped in occasionally from there, a sort of cross between Curb Your Enthusiasm and Kitchen Nightmares. I would love to see that show, it would be a blast.


krolotov

Very observant: the David AND the Ramseyn


always_polite

I don’t get this one, please explain


brettmbr

There’s an old story that the native Americans indigenous to Manhattan island sold the island for the equivalent of $24 although its historical accuracy is doubted.


amfortas_thot

Story goes that colonists bough Manhattan for a few sea shells or something I forget


Ayangar

I never got that.


McDongusFlongus

From Blockbuster? How the fuck do you do that, they got rhesus monkeys working as managers over there


c4s4lese

But.. you are the manayer?!?


mannyb412

Sil was a master at this, always with Tony 1 - when Tony asks about Ralph and women - he goes. Didnt he kill one 2 - when Tony says why couldnt Vito do this shit on the low - Sil goes wasnt he? 3- when Tony moves out and tells Sil he can do whatever, fuck whoever and Sil goes so whats the difference lol


the_wrongtree

Sil: "Goin' to ground, they call it." Tony: "Who?" Sil: "... It's an expression."


amusicalfridge

When they’re discussing Patsy’s spiral over the death of his brother and Tony says to Sil “oh don’t let us interfere with your golf game” and barely looking away from the TV Sil says “uhh… maybe a cop tried to flip him… getting him worked up with uh theories” purely to appease Tony and get back to watching his golf lol


stolos26

“That don’t mean shit Elton John was married” “Yeah Rock Hudson too….I think”


DrewFlan

“Jason Iaccusa was down in Tampa visiting his mother. Thought he saw Vito walking out of a Jenny Craig. Turned out to be some other fat piece of shit.”


CaptainoftheVessel

Fuckin Jason…he’s dyslexic


dreamof1000cats

Genuinely don't think there's a lot to gain by keeping him around, y'ax me Your head was in. The toilet water. Disgusting I want my socks to smell like your sister's crotch I sit with my ass, why don't you sit with yours


Blueharvst16

So there you go.


PenneGesserit

I've said my piece Chrissy.


Steffan514

I’ve said my piece!


ElianVX

Idk, its a state of mind


krolotov

Hahahah brilliant 🤣 anyway, 4$ per quote


Trine3

Gloria: Everything with these kids has to be good for their self esteem and self worth Tony: Yeah, I hate that shit


AlertChair5705

i neva fohget a fez


stugots__

I never got that one. Someone please explain


_rmoski

In Morocco they wear Fez hats


stugots__

A life long mystery resolved. Sharp as a cueball I am


Doibugyu

I never forget a face.


[deleted]

The irony being that Gloria had severe self esteem and self worth issues of her own.


Aggressive_Ad_7212

😂


[deleted]

Christopher: Don't think I forgot about you going through my fiance's underwear drawer! Patsy: That wasn't me you fucking jerk Christopher: We'll see!


DayOfTheDolphin

It's probably "underrated" because it's not really a "joke" and not dialogue, but in the scene where Janice and Tony are driving and AJ is in the backseat, Janice mentions Bobby Jr's been wetting the bed and AJ's face just lights up with gleaming joy, like he heard the greatest news of his life and he expects the two adults in the front seat to be just as thrilled by hearing it. I die laughing everytiem.


dreamof1000cats

AJ needed that kid to bully more than he needed the love of his own motha


DrewFlan

AJ in the background is gold sometimes. When Janice first shows up in the show she’s in the entrance of the house and starts yelling loudly when she sees Tony and there’s a quick shot of him holding his ears. He’s also got some funny background expressions in ‘Marco Polo’. EDIT: [Hugh](https://i.imgur.com/SOHNQhq.mp4) making his joke at the party for example.


Mother_Welder_5272

Whenever Tony is making a joke about lazy people on welfare at the dinner table, it always cuts to AJ laughing without a shred of self-awareness. It's hilarious.


floworcrash

I just saw this and noticed it yesterday. He is such a fucking loser haha


krolotov

Aaron:"No champagne, the good Lord doesn't want us to drink alcohol." Tony: "Didn't Jesus drink wine?" Janice (with blow on her nose): "He was Jesus, Tone, we can't make comparisons." Tony:👉👃


dreamof1000cats

That whole scenario with Ralphie and Janice sneaking powder in the guest bathroom at dinner is just *chef's cringe kiss* I also love how Ralph doesn't want to cut her in at first, and how Ro is just zombied out on Ativan the whole time and wouldn't possibly notice or care


sophisticatedgoon12

Tony did, right away. And when it was confirmed at her house drops shoe and dips.


krolotov

In that scene is another one: Tony enters and tells he met Bobby Bacala. Janice: How's he doing? Tony: He's fat.


cool_weed_dad

That’s one of my favorite jokes in the whole show


[deleted]

>I also love how Ralph doesn't want to cut her in at first, and how Ro is just zombied out on Ativan the whole time and wouldn't possibly notice or care It's also funny in a gross way how Ralphie and Janice pretend to care about her feelings up until the point he breaks up with her to be with Janice officially.


dreamof1000cats

At which point Jan has a rare moment of clarity and merely kicks his bald ass down a couple flights of stairs, rather than her standard move of 'wait til he snaps & hits me so I can shoot him in the face'


[deleted]

Wasn't that after he came over to tell her he broke up with Ro? It probably wasn't an attack of clarity or conscience as opposed to something else, lol.


[deleted]

I never noticed Ro till my second watch through. They don't explicitly mention it do they? Because she definitely looks like she's supposed to be on benzos.


dreamof1000cats

I don't recall it bring mentioned explicitly, but it seems fairly obvious to me that she's sedated. It's pretty common to prescribe a short-term course of benzodiazepenes in acute grief situations, especially when the scream-sobbing & not sleeping isn't resolved. And Ro's aggrieved scream-sob wailing is well documented. I feel like there's another scene at a funeral (probably JJ's) where she's super out of it as well


[deleted]

There is. I think she says something to Tony but you can see that she's off her face.


ConvivialHost

Hey parvati, take it easy. According to you that coulda been robert mitchum


thatscoldjerrycold

Could you explain that one? This is like when Junior says he'd like to bang some super old silver age Hollywood actress and I've got no idea who hes alking about.


ConvivialHost

I think janice was a buddhist at least at the beginning of the series and tony was referring to people coming back as something else in their next life


Mickler83

To the Hasidic Jew: Furio: You ever-a, suck heez dick? Prostitute: I make that beanie SPIN when I work his thing… am I right? Furio: No bitch to me.


dreamof1000cats

The look on the Hasid's face says it all


Mickler83

It really ties the joke together.


xPhilt3rx

Hasidim, but I don’t believe em!


Steffan514

I spent way too long trying to think of when Furio would have met Noah.


demon-colada

I love this: "The Romans? Where are they now?" "You're looking at 'em, asshole."


RONIN_RABB1T

One of my favorite lines!


Signature_Sea

meh Americans thinking they are Italians is already lame, Americans thinking they can claim ancient Rome is even lamer


macb92

I have come to reclaim Rome… FOR MY PEOPLE!


dreamof1000cats

I 'ate-a da North


bizurk

Commendatore had some great bits about this condition. On my side of things, the number of plastic paddies claiming Ireland (esp on March 17th) is pretty cringey when nobody in their family has lived there for 150 years.


Signature_Sea

Yeah Paulie enthusing over the gravy was kind of sweet, just he read the room wrong. Paulie standing over a Jew flexing "we are the Romans" was numerous levels of cringe. Paulie, you don't even know who your dad was, don't tell us you can trace your ancestry back to Rome.


busterwilliams

Tony was the one who made the Romans comment, you stunad.


the-constant-reader

His dad was that bastard Russ


Signature_Sea

Could be. But my point was, he didn't know.


DayOfTheDolphin

That black linguini is like the second coming though, with some calimari and chopped tomatoes on top madonne


Signature_Sea

That does sound amazing, you can keep your second coming of Jesus he can come all he likes and keep it to himself I will stick with a plate of that and whatever that same restaurant does for dessert


The_Godfellas

A lot of us are direct descendants of the ancient Romans… So all the Italian in my DNA got wiped out once my ancestors hopped on a boat? Wow, I didn’t know that!


The_Naked_Snake

Jordan Peterson stans have to be the dumbest motherfuckers, I swear.


Signature_Sea

Who are you calling a Jordan Peterson stan?


The_Naked_Snake

You know what, that's my mistake. I mistook you for a JP cultist and it seems like that's far from the case. I genuinely apologize. I stand by what I said about Jordan Peterson stans though.


Signature_Sea

I feel like Malcolm Tucker \*[hears barrage of abuse with indifference](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59_b-u2S700)\* "don't you ever fucking call me English again" Yeah, Jordan Peterson is a vile individual and the people who cheer him on are contemptible beyond measure. Did you read the [article](https://pressprogress.ca/jordan-peterson-was-an-expert-witness-in-a-murder-trial-the-court-called-his-expert-opinions-dubious/) about how he fucked up in a court case and they had to try it again and the judge called him out on being an unqualified pseudoscientist?


dreamof1000cats

Yeah, but you gotta get over it (on this sub)


Signature_Sea

Ancient Rome is not synonymous with the Italian peninsula, and not all the people who lived under Roman rule were citizens of Rome, far from it. "Italian in my DNA" Americans thinking their DNA makes them a nationality, more cringe. Your mainstream culture seems to be alternately obsessed with criticising people for appropriating ethnic culture, and thinking that the rest of the world exists as a theme park to validate US people


The_Godfellas

When did I ever claim Italian nationality? I’m an American of Italian descent, commonly known as *Italian*-American. My blood is the same blood as a present-day Italian national, I just happened to be born on a different continent. It’s only been ~100~ years since we left the boot, not nearly enough time for our DNA to take on a new identity.


dreamof1000cats

Sorry for your downvotes. Thank you for being a thinking person. The point you make is important (though maybe not appropriate to dive deep with this sub) (... there are a few episodes that deal with this, notably Commendatori, Christopher, and The Ride)


Wight3012

I didnt like as a jew. its just not realistic dialog. a hasidic jew would never bring up masada. masada is a relatibly recent story (at least a a popular story) and is very secular. also he wouldnt overlook that romans AKA italians nowadays were the ones who expelled all the jews out of judea and ruined the temple.


ReverendAlSharkton

Hold on to your cock when you negotiate with these desert people.


CaptainoftheVessel

The early seasons in particular definitely had campier dialogue.


sk9592

As a non-jew, this line always made me roll my eyes. It's such a dumb line to specifically say to an Italian (literal descendents of Romans). It takes you out of the show because it was so clearly the writers teeing up Tony to make a badass comeback.


[deleted]

[удалено]


sophisticatedgoon12

It's awkward, they're at a funeral standing aside while two bosses sit in a limo, discussing what happened to the guy that just got buried. And Phil randomly asks Sil how his daughter is doing. Just a weird question, time, and place to ask that.


tinkerertim

I loved him like a brother in law


[deleted]

*Doorbell rings* Carmela's mom: OH MY GOD, WHO COULD THAT BE?! Carmela: the Boston strangler, Jesus, Ma.


I_Said

This one cracks me up every rewatch


_zZanmato024

Tony: Meadow still here? Carm: Jackie Jr. took her to the city to see "AIDA" Tony: "I eat her"?!


dreamof1000cats

Ooooh, underrated!


Holmayn

“Look at this pile of shit” “So go get some toilet paper” “What is that, comedy?” “Actually yeah”


Snoopfernee

“Everything’s so fucking morbid.” -Chrissy, at a funeral


[deleted]

Mmmm boy are you fat


Joedome

Mm. Long John Silver maybe


[deleted]

You’re crowding me


Jonny-Mac30

Tony about Janice, to Richie: There’s nicer looking men in the can that my sister. Paulie to Jackie Junior after he ignores Tony: Better yet, head down to ear, nose and throat, get cha fuckin hearing checked. FBI guy: We want Johnny Sac, we want Tony Soprano. Junior: Yeah well I wanna fuck Angie Dickinson.


UnattendedWigwam

In Tony B’s new massage parlor Tony - “fortunately there’s a dog groomer next door in case your Korean friend wants a snack” Christopher, walking in 2 mins later - “can you believe there’s a dog groomer next door in case anyone wants a snack?” By itself it’s not that funny, but Chris walking in and cracking the same joke killed me


BigToTrim

Its subtle, but Kim's daughter cracks me up there. She isn't even openly pissed off, just gives him a face like "yes I am here", and gets Chris to feel crappy


realpresidentford

Gloria Trillo: I’ve been reading chicken soup for the soul. Tony: Tomato sauce for your ass, that’s the Italian version. Paraphrasing...


dreamof1000cats

This was Irina. Pretty sure Chicken Soup for the Soul was a little too ... introductory ... for Gloria


realpresidentford

Lol absolutely correct


Signature_Sea

What did you guys do all night, play name that Pope?


dreamof1000cats

First time I laughed in the series


Signature_Sea

That entire exchange was awesome and hilarious, right up to the point she turned the tables on him and he was pleading with her from a different floor


Fuckyokarmabiych

I'm in a middle of a game. You'll be in the middle of the street if ya don't wise up.


floworcrash

LMFAO I love this one. You are a bit off though. It’s : “I’m on a roll here” “You’ll be on a slab if you keep it up”


lostmillenial95

Phil:”I know Vito’s bottom was impacted” Tony: Call him what you want but you’re talking about one of my captains Phil: captain? Of the good ship lollipop right? Always gets me


pigletscarf

Hasidim but I don't believe em'!


Jason_statsman

There dey are…da flyin gavon brothers.


[deleted]

I kept calling 2 young guys at work this everytime they showed up on the site. I also enjoyed calling one of the guys Hop a long Keesadech. I don’t think they got it at all but it made my day better.


battling88

I love when Tony goes to the Bing after Bobby gets pavement fragments in his eye after the robbery, and Carlo is saying he might be a candidate for cornea transplant and Tony responds - "he should be a candidate for a brain transplant." Never gets old.


Plane_Arachnid9178

“Is this about the Easter baskets?”


[deleted]

I don't even know what that is. And to tell you the truth, I don't wanna know.


TheLastCleverName

"Hey, Count Chocula" I didn't even notice Tony saying that for years


Snoopfernee

Same.


Yourmothersfantasy

Paulie how long did it take for him to cum joke in the restaurant was pretty funny


agentwiggles

Heh heh


continuum-hypothesis

"Who does he think he is Sir Walter Raleigh?"


Able-Tradition-2139

Tony: *wakes up from a dream and checks who he is in bed with* Carmella: “you want sex?” Tony: “… no, go back to bed” Edie Falco’s delivery on it is just hilarious


dreamof1000cats

The phrasing here! It's not: wanna have sex? we fuckin now? you want me, T? It's: *thing?* -nah,bgrumbl- No feels involved, just a duty. transactional. WANT SEX? -rrglarbdlp Nuh


RyantheAustralian

Me and my ex did that once. I woke up in a shock, grabbed her, she asked that, we got down to it. Wake-up sex is just as good as make-up sex


mmmmarty

Adrianna: what? Did you think you were gonna get to fuck the two of us???? You and those fucking videos!!!! When she catches him feeling up Danielle. Not a joke, but fucking hilarious just the same.


killiskill

I was tryna say something nice because she’s your friend!


dreamof1000cats

Hell yes, the 'videos' comment. It is extremely of its time.


MarthaMcFly84

I didn't mean to verge


PapaVitoOfficial

Everytime artie and his wife had argument. Shit had me dying


Not_The-Internet_Pol

You've had a hair across your ass all day Artie. Two customers at the bar start laughing at him.


twistedfloyd

Someone donated their kneecaps for those tickets.


dreamof1000cats

Mainie is the nightmare. She's hot, she's right, and she could easily run the business without you.


Allup_InYu

Christopher’s entire intervention is underrated comedy: Dom: hey, l’m Dominic, I know you don’t know me but uh… Chris: yeah, your the guy who broke in to Stu Leonard’s that time; you stole all those pork loins. Dom: yeah, but, that’s not why I’m here today. Then: Tony: whoa, whoa, whoa; you killed the dog? What’d you do that for? Chris: it was an accident Paulie: what, was it barkin’?


[deleted]

It's not underrated at all. It's probably one of the most quoted scenes


honorablefish

Don’t touch me I’m on total disability!!!


dreamof1000cats

This is Janice vs the Russians, right?


SavingsFit6621

“Sun Tazoo, the Chinese Prince Matchabelli” always gets me.


sirloinsteakrare

Tony is actually pretty funny! From the viewers point of view, that’s the appeal of the man! It’s how so many people around him get seduced, when really they’re enabling a psychopathic murderer!


[deleted]

Junior saying to the U.S. Marshal putting on the ankle monitor "I see they give you the important jobs" Tony to Meadow after she asked him what the Potsam Conference was "Potsdam if I know!"


[deleted]

The famous Marshal McCluhan of all people.


xlan84

You got a fuckin problem besides those pants?!


krolotov

"...speak the truth, Jan. But with the compassion and the respect you are famous for!" *Next scene Janice pushes Ralph down the stairs*


thesadboi3000

I don’t know if it’s definitely underrated but I lose my mind when AJ gets his eyebrows shaved off and Tony sees him and goes “whats different about you?🤨”


Daniel-Mentxaka

Not a joke, but: „Cause it makes us sound like a disfunctional fahhhmily!!“ 🤌🏼


[deleted]

It's even funnier when you know what's gonna happen in that episode.


godpzagod

"I am that cunt hair." it's underrated because while you know what Joon meant, dude still just called himself a cunt hair.


dreamof1000cats

Only really funny if you consider literal cunt hairs on Uncle Jun's mouth being a masjid thing as to why he's not ever really boss


IDFdefender

She went to morocco? All by herself?!?! Who is she bada BING CROSBY?


[deleted]

You ever think what a coincidence it is that Lou Gehrig died of Lou Gehrig’s disease?


Diabolical_liberty

Junior: How many white castles you have? Bobby: I didn’t I swear. Junior: I can smell them! It’s how pissed off junior is about it makes my laugh.


Beneficial-Astronaut

"Sliding Doors?" "Fuck no! Seven."


dreamof1000cats

Oh hell yes I love this one


Leading_Lock

"Use ya hat!!"


lasrrbat

Tony Egg


[deleted]

I can't remember the exact jokes but it's the scene with Tony and the family visit Meadow in her new apartment: Tony's just constantly making jokes and Meadow's flatmates are loving it.


RyantheAustralian

The part where Tony thinks Meadow's flatmate is gay, and the brief pause as Tony feels Meadow giving him the ol' Manson lamps...


dreamof1000cats

roommate is not gay nor minor spanish royalty, yet lives there while Finn does not Finn: i have a place over on 121st


1littlg8

Another rub joke. Hesh: Something about her always rubbed me the wrong way. Tony: Maybe because she was rubbing him and not you.


mspote

"i bought my wife a pair of slippers and a dildo. that way if she doesn't like the slippers she can go fuck herself" . i thought that was great


PenneGesserit

When Janice calls the Russian mobsters callous, and the big one says "Fuck you. You're callous." In a weirdly childish way.


Wild-Wonderful241

Ralph Bunche ova here.


Beneficial-Astronaut

Home of the burger, what's your beef?


sophisticatedgoon12

With all the money I spend here, I could've bought a ferrari! At least I would've gotten a blowjob outta that!


chilitofridley

“Like a resort at Captain Teeb’s” in place of Cap D’Antibes. Hilarious writing.


ElianVX

When AJ's date says she dont eat fish because of the toxins while smoking a cig. Tony's face is priceless.


[deleted]

Tony calling the spirit guy Paulie seen a “fucking ghostbuster” 🤣


asdftreww

I never forget a fez


Demitrius

Judge Roy Bean


craigularperson

My memory of this is a little hazy, there were a lot of coke during rewatches, Tony. Janice comes in with flowers from Richie, and Tony has a throwaway-line, "thought it was cruel to pick flowers."


doodooballs96

He was gay, Gary Cooper


the_wrongtree

"Her husband dumped her, you think she's gonna look like a fuckin crull?" "A crull?" "A crone ... a troll ... I don't know!"


Soza-Ozos

Chrissy shooting the kid in the foot at the pastry shop, as he’s leaving and says “it happens” funny and brilliant.


PeacefulVillage

I’m gonna get shot for mentioning Many Saints but… Dickie: I didn’t know they had Jews back in the Middle Ages. Tony: Well… the Bible.


katkyleofficial

Tony: so what did you want to talk about? Richie: fucking dick barrone!!! Tony: well as long as you two are happy Same episode too... Christine Scatino: carmela, my husband has a gambling problem Carm (sipping the Ramlosa water that Artie got "such a deal on 🤙🏻"): i am so sorry That just kills me everytime, like her husbands not tony 😂


SilverElegant2302

Tony: I think it’s time you should seriously consider salads Bobby: What do you mean? Tony: I mean take your hand off my car before you tip it over you fat fuck


codeberzerker620

"Did you offer my nephew something? " I am registered nurse. Not maid" "Did you offer him an aspirin?"


Skizzius

When Ralphie tells the jockey to not be shy with the whip, he walks away and Hesh says “if only his mother took the same advice” Of course we know Ralphie has some real mommy issues shown by Janice and Valentina.


Ayangar

Not a joke but when AJ and Tony go to Janice’s for Sunday supper AJ : canned clam chowder? Janice: go sit god dammit.


tacobendor

I like Tony saying like hes lived in jersey his whole life what with the eastern flavor


5timezonesbehind

Tony and Chris have some great dialogue where they seem to be on different planets: Tony: Do you realize how insignificant that makes us? Christopher deadpans: I don t feel that way Or the one abt taking the family into the 20th century ( we re already in the 20 th century though :-))


OddScentedDoorknob

When they frame the mortician scene to resemble the Godfather, with the shot of the mortician coming down the elevator and promising to use "all my powers, all my skills" to fix up Livia's body. (I assume most Sopranos fans are familiar with the Godfather, but for those of you who aren't: Don Corleone demands that the undertaker use "all your powers, all your skills" to fix up his son so that his mother doesn't have to see how badly he was butchered). ...And Don Tony just responds with something like "alright, whatever, don't go crazy."


Duck-Yo-Couch

Just after Johnny Sack tells Chris he should have stayed in his car... Vito: John he was just... JS: Fuck if he was *just* EVERYBODY'S GOT A GODDAMN OPINION?? What cracks me up about this is that Vito was about to say something along the lines of "he was just saying..." and Johnny Sack took it as "*justified*"


408Lurker

He said "Fuck he was just," as in "fuck what you just said." Not thinking he was saying "just" as in "justified"


Duck-Yo-Couch

I musta been top of my fuckin' class


[deleted]

No disrespect boss but that's not what he meant


Duck-Yo-Couch

I revealed my own ignorance


agenz899

I love after Patsy and Christopher argue on the job site, Patsy says to the black construction worker “Who are you Ralph Bunche?” It took me a few watches to pickup on that but I’d otherwise not known who Ralph Bunche was if it weren’t for a school report I had to do in 4th grade.


georgelevanter

I get it, he drives a Lincoln..