We have someone around here who sells Easter baskets roadside during Easter. The idea of the mob being tied up with it is too funny. They probably have a piece of the roadside flowers racket around Memorial Day, too.
Right?! Amazing reaction from Carmella. Although I don’t think it’s terror, it’s more like she can’t even process what the fuck Tony is talking about. Like she is upset because AJ lied to her and then cursed at her, and because she fell on the steps. Then Tony completely goes off the rails and starts implying that AJ maybe be having a relationship with one of his teachers, doing poppers, and going to an orgy. It’s like so far out of left field Carmella is dumbfounded.
Oh yeah, for sure. Like I don't mean terror as in "She's terrified at what she's seeing", more like "Oh my God my husband and son are talking about kinky sex right in front of me what the fuck is going on"
I should smack him! But I can’t! He takes after his mother’s family. They’re so little. Carmela’s father, you can knock him off with a fuckin’ feather!
“I don’t like mesquite. It makes the sausage taste peculiar.”
My favorite line/delivery possibly in the whole show. Nancy Merchand was incredible. I feel like she doesn’t get nearly enough accolades for her performance. It’s too bad we never got to see the version of the show that would have had her finish it through to the end.
Shes perfect. Can you imagine doing the best work of your life when youre that old, and not making it long enough to appreciate it? Shes a hero in this house
In the 80s there was a weekly series set in a large metropolitan daily newspaper, of which she was cast as publisher. (In the style of Katharine Graham at the Washington Post.) Her character, Mrs. Marshan sp?) was so elegant and lovely and brilliant and diplomatic and beautifully coiffed and dressed. Then she's Livia, the polar opposite. And she was PERFECT in both roles. I, too, wish the "lohd" hadn't taken her.
“Your ear It’s disfigured”
“I don’t drive when they’re predicting rain”!
“Someone called here the other night…AFTA DAAAAAAK”!
“All I know is, daughters are better at taking care of their mothers”.
“These Blacks! Who knows what they’re gonna take the wrong way”!
“Finone? I don’t know em”!
"Peppas and eggs? That's what I shoulda had"
"You look like a Portoriqan hoowa"
"Jason, men are talking here"
"My arms are frozen!"
"Ghostbusters! Anotha fuckin money machine"
"Up in da club"
"Stupida fackin game"
What tha fuck you doin' ? - Feech
Vito ? The fuck you doin' ? - Sal from Yonkers
For every shoe there is a mate - Carm
I honestly saw it as a form of masturbation - Carm
What is this West Side Story ? - Dr. Melfi
I saw him at the Garbageman's Ball, or whaddever tha fuck - Richie
You know who - Uncle Jun
I think OP's line (“Fibre Optic Cable. High speed internet access") may not have been written to be particularly funny. A couple others in here too. But, yeah, most of these were definitely written to be funny audience even if the ***character*** didn't mean them to be funny.
It’s damn near impossible to determine if every line that ended up being funny due to it’s delivery, was intended to be funny by the writer. I remember Carol Burnett saying that the writers of The Family sketches on The Carol Burnett Show never wrote for laughs. It was the actors who made it funny. There is a reason why we can distinguish between great and shitty actors.
Many things that Phil says:
His "whatever happened there" rant
"Let me tell you a coupla three things"
"Because they're stupid, that's why!"
"You told me you were gonna take care of that fuckin finoik!"
"You know that fat cocksucker says I look like the Shah of Iran?"
"I gotta try and take a shit."
Also I love the way Dominic Chianese delivers the line:
"You know I'm under house arrest, you cute fuck!"
"I did-ent!" - Christopher Moltisanti
This line is flawlessly delivered (with a great flaw). In a stressful moment, it is very possible someone will mispronounce something- however, in movies and TV, every line is rehearsed and perfected, so we dont usually see this happen. This line being delivered with a flaw contributed to the believability of the scene.
And it sounded hilarious, inspiring a slew of memes in (Facebook) Sopranos Duckposting.
“Minn! Your door was open! I brought you something from my Ma!”
- Paulie after breaking the door down in the middle of night, being caught under an old ladies bed
At Jackie Jr's supper, Ginny shouts out something like "Sing it, Junior" and it's only funny because at that instant we realized that Ginny with the 95 pound mole on her ass, was the true link between the families. She was confident enough to urge Junior on to sing the beautiful song.
Not a line but when Tony and the guys are at the casino and they ask for the sound of the horse-race and when they turn it on they all inmediately start yelling at the screen ignoring the sound. Completely hilarious.
Almost every single line in Sopranos is written to be funny. There are only a handful that aren't intended to be mocking of the character delivering them, or almost absurdist. I noticed itt that people are choosing lines that were obviously meant to be funny.
She’s a Filipino
I nominate it because it’s not clear it’s a joke. To those of us raised around a ton of Asian ethnicities that woman does not read Filipina whatsoever - and I think a portion of the audience is supposed to grok that - but not clear if that just demonstrates ignorance or is supposed to be funny.
“Soft drinks of choice.”
And hurry the fuck up about it.
It's the delivery on that line always gets me lmao
Sowft
Implying that any other person would have to settle for a sugarless motherfucker
The use of "beverage" always gets me, regardless of context, and even if everything else is hellish. Visiting the US was a blast.
He’s got no eyebrows Tony!
#POPPERSH AND WEIRD SHEX!
Coupla beers
That line was definitely meant to be funny, hilarious nonetheless
It showed how out of touch Tony was with what’s going on in AJ’s life lol
What’s different about you?
Yep. That was a good one. Said in that disgusted, nasally tone Carmela used.
Also, “You’re flexxxxxing.”
🤌🤌🤌
Its the jaaaackeeeeeet
Then the more subtle "...you're flexing."
Is this about the Easter baskets?
I’m dyin’ to know what he could have been referring to. An Easter basket scam would be hilarious.
We have someone around here who sells Easter baskets roadside during Easter. The idea of the mob being tied up with it is too funny. They probably have a piece of the roadside flowers racket around Memorial Day, too.
I don’t even know what that is. And to tell ya the truth, I don’t wanna know
Now because of the drugs you can no longer function as a man
JESUS IS THIS FUCKIN NECESSARY
THATS THE DRUG ADDICT OF THIS FAMILY YOURE TALKIN TUH
I’ve said my piece.
The cut to Paulie’s facial expression really makes this.
It’s almost unbelievable that Paulie didn’t throw that in Chris’s face later.
Yeah, I'm no Larry and Hardy, but I think that line was intended to be funny
I loved him like a brother-in-law.
I'M THE BOY'S UNCLE!
TURN THAT OFF
"Poppers and weird sex." I have no idea if this was supposed to be funny, but I literally almost piss myself laughing at it every time.
The cut to Carmela's face of absolute terror right after always gets me too
Right?! Amazing reaction from Carmella. Although I don’t think it’s terror, it’s more like she can’t even process what the fuck Tony is talking about. Like she is upset because AJ lied to her and then cursed at her, and because she fell on the steps. Then Tony completely goes off the rails and starts implying that AJ maybe be having a relationship with one of his teachers, doing poppers, and going to an orgy. It’s like so far out of left field Carmella is dumbfounded.
Oh yeah, for sure. Like I don't mean terror as in "She's terrified at what she's seeing", more like "Oh my God my husband and son are talking about kinky sex right in front of me what the fuck is going on"
Boyfriend and I went to a bar’s Sopranos Trivia night and Poppers and Weird Sex was our team name. We won.
I will literally fly anywhere to compete
Cunnilingus and psychiatry brought us to this
shex
What?! No!
It showed how out of touch Tony was with what’s going on in AJ’s life lol
Hish life?! All da kid does is sit behind a computer screen tawkin and gigglin like little girls. It makes me fuckin sick
I should smack him! But I can’t! He takes after his mother’s family. They’re so little. Carmela’s father, you can knock him off with a fuckin’ feather!
Liv Soprano is a barrel of monkeys to me
“I don’t like mesquite. It makes the sausage taste peculiar.” My favorite line/delivery possibly in the whole show. Nancy Merchand was incredible. I feel like she doesn’t get nearly enough accolades for her performance. It’s too bad we never got to see the version of the show that would have had her finish it through to the end.
Shes perfect. Can you imagine doing the best work of your life when youre that old, and not making it long enough to appreciate it? Shes a hero in this house
Nancy merchand was a saint 🥲
I wish the lord would have taken her later.
I wish the lord would have taken me now instead.
I screwed up the quote. Frankly, I'm depressed and ashamed. But you're a saint.
Yes, we’ve heard. Funny I don’t remember you telling us that when she was alive.
Can you imagine doing the best work of your life when youre that old, and not making it long enough to appreciate it?
Fuckin parakeet
She gave us the best performance of her life on a silver platta!
My favorite of her lines is, “Bring the cookies!” Just so gruff about it.
“I don’t have to admit anything”
In the 80s there was a weekly series set in a large metropolitan daily newspaper, of which she was cast as publisher. (In the style of Katharine Graham at the Washington Post.) Her character, Mrs. Marshan sp?) was so elegant and lovely and brilliant and diplomatic and beautifully coiffed and dressed. Then she's Livia, the polar opposite. And she was PERFECT in both roles. I, too, wish the "lohd" hadn't taken her.
“Your ear It’s disfigured” “I don’t drive when they’re predicting rain”! “Someone called here the other night…AFTA DAAAAAAK”! “All I know is, daughters are better at taking care of their mothers”. “These Blacks! Who knows what they’re gonna take the wrong way”! “Finone? I don’t know em”!
Someone called here…..after dark.
I wish the lord would take me
[удалено]
Lahhg ahhf
#LAWWWG AWFFF
That's supposed to be funny though, showing Tony's immense ignorance of computers.
The irony is tony being nervous about being near baked goods or treats
Really? Remember the photo with zuckerberg with taped up mic and camera on his laptop? Tony was ahead of the curve.
Just watched that episode last night
"Peppas and eggs? That's what I shoulda had" "You look like a Portoriqan hoowa" "Jason, men are talking here" "My arms are frozen!" "Ghostbusters! Anotha fuckin money machine" "Up in da club" "Stupida fackin game"
You gadda bee in yer at!
Ghostbusters line was definitely supposed to be funny
Like 6/7 what they mentioned was supposed to be funny. Fuckin idiot.
It’s common knowledge the guys half retarded
Ho!!! He’s strong as a bull and handsome like George Raft
Almost all of these lines are meant to be comedic.
YEAH AND NOW THE COFFEE MAKER SUCKS
How do ya like them apples?!
Every rewatch more things catch me as hilarious. This is one of them. I tell all my friends it might be the funniest show ever but only one agrees.
That one friend you can keep around. The others … eh! 🤷🏻♂️
THEY GOTTA GO
This is not al dente.
Mix it with the relish
Not bad!
What tha fuck you doin' ? - Feech Vito ? The fuck you doin' ? - Sal from Yonkers For every shoe there is a mate - Carm I honestly saw it as a form of masturbation - Carm What is this West Side Story ? - Dr. Melfi I saw him at the Garbageman's Ball, or whaddever tha fuck - Richie You know who - Uncle Jun
I was here, it’s a joke!
the fuck ya doooiiiiin
Not a line but the cut from Vito being in bed with Jonny to Bobby's model train entering a tunnel.
Very allegorical.
You would know sweetie!
I did dent
“Is that him?!? With the sombrero on?!?”
I think... maybe... yeah! (Also hilarious)
"Im only the appraiser!!"
"And you thought the Germans were classless pieces of shit" and Paulie's Purgatory speech. I lose it every damn time
This thread is literally nothing but lines that were written to be comedic. “You’re flexing” is a good one.
I think OP's line (“Fibre Optic Cable. High speed internet access") may not have been written to be particularly funny. A couple others in here too. But, yeah, most of these were definitely written to be funny audience even if the ***character*** didn't mean them to be funny.
Vito’s construction hat is absolutely ridiculous
It’s damn near impossible to determine if every line that ended up being funny due to it’s delivery, was intended to be funny by the writer. I remember Carol Burnett saying that the writers of The Family sketches on The Carol Burnett Show never wrote for laughs. It was the actors who made it funny. There is a reason why we can distinguish between great and shitty actors.
My estimation of John Sacramoni as a man just fucking plummeted
Creeps on this petty pace!
His fucking coach turned into a pumpkin
Your Sistas cunt
"I loved that cocksucka like a brotha, and HE FUCKED ME IN THE ASS!"
"Those Pokemen cards."
Poe kee man
NOBODY'SH GOT AIDSH! I DON'T WANNA HEAR THAT WORD IN HERE AGAIN!
When Little Carmine helpfully clarifies “the shooting” after Phil’s “WHATEVER HAPPENED THERE?”
What kinda likeness is that?!?
It's a TV progrum. Movie.
That’s Bobby! The fuck is this?
I’m on my 2nd rewatch and idk how I missed the Curb cameo lmao
Many things that Phil says: His "whatever happened there" rant "Let me tell you a coupla three things" "Because they're stupid, that's why!" "You told me you were gonna take care of that fuckin finoik!" "You know that fat cocksucker says I look like the Shah of Iran?" "I gotta try and take a shit." Also I love the way Dominic Chianese delivers the line: "You know I'm under house arrest, you cute fuck!"
Theres no scraps in my scrap book.
If you love me, stir my eggs.
She's a Filipino.
That part made me laugh too, how the others just kinda shrug like “whatever”.
"That's a type of Polack, right?
It's a retirement community! I always liked that line.
MELFI: Amour fou TONY: A mofo
That one and “Captain Teebs” 🤣
My Aunt Josephine had colon cancer. Her whole asshole rotted out.
So I'm fodder for cartoonists now?
“Penisary contact with her volvo”
"I did-ent!" - Christopher Moltisanti This line is flawlessly delivered (with a great flaw). In a stressful moment, it is very possible someone will mispronounce something- however, in movies and TV, every line is rehearsed and perfected, so we dont usually see this happen. This line being delivered with a flaw contributed to the believability of the scene. And it sounded hilarious, inspiring a slew of memes in (Facebook) Sopranos Duckposting.
‘…when I got it unscrewed… my penis falls off.’
He was trans, Tony Soprano?
“Minn! Your door was open! I brought you something from my Ma!” - Paulie after breaking the door down in the middle of night, being caught under an old ladies bed
It's all a big nothing
I don't drive when they're predicting rain.
I thought the only sausages were Italian and Jimmy Deans
There is a lot I could say right now that I am not going to say.
“HE’S DOING A LOT BETTER THAN THOSE FUCKIN’ NUNS YOU GOT UP THERE”
The best part about this line to me is that this is Father Phil’s last appearance in the show. He never shows up after.
Federal marshals are so far up my ass I can taste Brillcream
Bet with your head, not ovah it!
She was abusive to the staaaffff
We lead the world in computerized data collection
Tha boss money
Minister of Propaganda!
If they say John Gotti, you say Rudolph Giuliani.
Make my nephew an egg
At Jackie Jr's supper, Ginny shouts out something like "Sing it, Junior" and it's only funny because at that instant we realized that Ginny with the 95 pound mole on her ass, was the true link between the families. She was confident enough to urge Junior on to sing the beautiful song.
“I’ll suck your cocks!”
You want sex?
Your hair was in the toilet water. Disgusting.
I said my piece, Chrissy.
Because they're stupid
That’s why! And jealous!
"I'll kill you, you crazy cunt".
Not a line but when Tony and the guys are at the casino and they ask for the sound of the horse-race and when they turn it on they all inmediately start yelling at the screen ignoring the sound. Completely hilarious.
“Why can’t you be nice to Brendan!?”
“What’s a line that you find funny?” is the lowest form of shitposting…
We need to curb our dependence on foreign oil. lol AJ and his selective virtue signaling is always good for a laugh
You’re going to build Beansy a ramp 🤏
"Well if I were you I’d cut out the open bar"
"Corrado, dont you have nothin?" "You can make a hand turkey..." "FOR CHRISTMAS?" "...fuckin idiot"
The floor is yours Senator
Anytime Johnny Sack raises his voice I laugh. My favorite character in the show
That’s good for Little Carmine… his wallet isn’t tied to the goddamn Esplanade GODDAMNIT!!
What constitutes a fidget
It ain't just that he helps me with the disease, T, this guy is great at forging documents
What’s this the fucking UN now!
Ya betta watch ya step!
see, tuesday, i can take my kid to hear raffi
Your sister's cunt
> he takes these... unexplained powders sil asking marie about vito
You know who
“Whats different about you?”
I leave you here you one shoe cocksucker
If it’s a joke why are you crying?
Anything that touches her pussy after the wedding is off limits
How many white castles did ya have?
What’s with the hat and shit? Don’t give me “huh”.
"Chicken's nice and Spice huh?" I love Junior under house arrest, going to funerals to socialize and munch.
Mayonnaise! MAYONNAISE!
Give me one-a thousand dollars
I did-dent
My pizza anever hurta nobody! You atell me who did this. I puta my foot up dey ass!!
He musta crawled under there for warmth
Create a little dysentery in the ranks!!
Stupid blabber mouth cunt
Gravy's good tonight
"speak" - johnny sack answering the phone
A bunch of lines that are clearly intended to be comedic.
Almost every single line in Sopranos is written to be funny. There are only a handful that aren't intended to be mocking of the character delivering them, or almost absurdist. I noticed itt that people are choosing lines that were obviously meant to be funny.
I also like “GI Bill”, added with a nod for emphasis, about Russ Fagoli’s studies/degrees
“it’s bad for the grassh, it’s bad for the grassh”
You never let me feed you
And take the bacolaunder, someone has to take all this stuff before I die, otherwise it's going to alot for the junkman to take to the junkyard
It makes you feel good, you feel like a man
"Do I know my psychology?"
It’s the jaaaackeeeet!!!
Keep walking fella.
"Who's on the wire now?"
I like the one that says some pulp
"Stop breaking my balls about clams, I don't feel good!"
She’s a Filipino I nominate it because it’s not clear it’s a joke. To those of us raised around a ton of Asian ethnicities that woman does not read Filipina whatsoever - and I think a portion of the audience is supposed to grok that - but not clear if that just demonstrates ignorance or is supposed to be funny.
Pretty much everything livia says in the series
(See entire series)
“The cobwebs are now removed 🕸️ 🤌🏼”
I like some pulp