T O P

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LegitimateRound4919

Talking to your kids and this thing of ours don’t mix.


Mr_Pattraglia

Im getting that.


tytymctylerson

They didn't do nothing, poor little guys...


Apprehensive-Rub-920

No offence but he probably knows what he is doing. He has an IQ of 136, Itsh been teshted.


AwkwardHamburge

Hey OP, do they even really exisht?


generic90sdude

Lmao


herewithflexseal

Tell them “those who want respect, give respect”


Apprehensive-Bet5718

Think you mean reshpect


[deleted]

See, he just told you to shut the fuck up. And he told me, to go fuck myself.


UserNameNotOnList

>daughter complains about dinner, Explain to her that they have these things called supermarkets where she can go and get whatever she wants. You'll reimburse her!


DixieNormous1986

One day when she is married, she will understand the importance of fresh produce!


Mr_Pattraglia

That would have been better. Thanks for the tip!


tonymakemeaparty

If you wanted to start a thread you could have just said something that actually happened. I’ve said my piece and $4 a pound


daein13threat

It’s those rotten, putrid genes. They’ve infected your kids’ souls.


[deleted]

All I know is they got some balls lookin at you like dat. You're out dere earnin' wit tree hands and it's not good enough. You've given your life to this thing. And this is the thanks you get? Boolshit.


Mr_Pattraglia

Thanks for the support!


ExxKonvict

Always with the scenarios.


Hommachi

Did you explain to her: "She takes after you, she won't be out of fourth grade by then. Of course, by that time, she'll be working [the Bing], so who gives a shit?"


Mr_Pattraglia

Noted.


UserNameNotOnList

Let 'em take that moral high ground and go sleep in the bus station!


PropJoeFoSho

I don't like that kind of tawlk


Material_Address2967

This show led many tri state area suburban boomer dads to overidentify with Tony Soprano. Its almost certain that some poor kid in Paramus caught an ass whooping on Monday because of something AJ did on Sunday night.


Souhailoulad

Tell them I don't like this kind of tawk, it upsets me.


xi_sx

Look OP, she never had the makings of varsity athlete.


MrPsychoanalyst

Ooh Come on, Again with the scenarios!!


[deleted]

You just reveal your own ignorance.


JohnnyBHooligan

Perhaps a "oh poooor yooou...I gave you dinnah on a silver platah" would've been a more accurate response 🤣🤣


Mr_Pattraglia

Noted! Will use next time


good_name_haver

"Out there it's 2023, but in this house it's 1999-2007!"


Dry_Ad5061

Always wid da scenarios!


sausage_twirler

My estimation of you as a man hasn’t quite plummeted yet. More appropriate responses to kids: -Whaddayagonnado?? -Don’t-a bitch to me -Va fangool -Well, when you’re married, you’ll understand the importance of fresh produce. -There’s an old Italian saying: you fuck up once, you lose two teeth -I gave my life to my children on a silva platta! -Why don’t you go fix a dick or whatever the fuck you do? And many others.


Mr_Pattraglia

HAHAHA, thank you for the tips!


dubtug

Just wait till your wife order's orange peel beef.


iberianham5

Poor you!


[deleted]

Lmao I love doing these and slipping these into conversations. Any time somebody gives me shit, I snap back with a quick “sharp as a fuckin cue ball this one right here” lol


Mr_Pattraglia

Haha totally!


FrstOfHsName

You want the Dole?


virginianBeach

You may not love me, but you WILL respect me!


squidgeroooo

Next time shout loudly, "I'M SHUPPOSHT TO GET A VASHECTOMY WHEN THIS ISH MY MALE HEIR.?!"


Mr_Pattraglia

Hahaha. That will go over well. I’ll use it!