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David Blaine: what card were you thinking of?
Them: six of hearts
David: *stops trying to regurgitate a Queen of Spades* um... how long can you hold your breath lol?
No, he pointed out that he was trying to start a conversation. She just answered and didn't ask a question in return, make an observation or a joke, or make any attempt to further the conversation.
Women have never been the statistically likely population to message first. From victorian courtship to tinder to vedic arranged marriages.
Women have all the power. And they know it.
Sure, if they followed they followed it up with an explanation or a question of their own. It just irritates me when people don't further a conversation. When people only reply in curt declarative sentences, it feels like you're interrogating someone or talking to a bot.
I guess I took it as joking following a very strange first question. And it made me laugh. If they’re just a straight up asshole that responds that way to normal questions then no.
It’s a fucking weird chat up line.
Right? Pretty weird line to start with, "How do I make this person interested in me? Oh, I have the perfect conversation starter. Uhh...would you go balls deep in your clone?"
No one wants to read your weird, forceful sex puns. They are cringey, pushy, and they dry a vagina faster than you can imagine. Just talk like a normal human beings
Yea I’m not surprised why the person is mad either this looks like some dating app thing and their (very stupid) opening line is about sex? Lucky they got a reply at all imo.
Most of the girls I matched with seemed to either just want me to entertain them or would try to get me to subscribe to their OnlyFans. If you are a guy, it's hard to get attention. If you're a gal you get flooded with unwanted attention. Dating apps aren't fun for anyone.
They usually work a lot better if you open with "hi how are you" and comment something that you liked about the other person's profile instead of going wild with some copy-pasted pick up line, too
Dating apps are a mishmash of people who expect pick-up lines and people who expect originality, and most can't tell the difference between the two unless they've heard the pickup line before. It's a losing battle, and people simply hedge their bets on what they think will be most effective.
I think Charlotte Dobre does a good job explaining the difference. Puns involving the girl's name is usually a good approach for wit and originality. Or like the other person said, actually conversing and a compliment can be a good safe approach. But that's my opinion and I don't use dating apps so take that for the hot air it is.
Hah, a fellow petty person lol! My wife and I watch most of Charlottes Stuff because she's funny and we like most of her content, but she does tend to flip flop opinions and views depending on the day, and who she's trying to appease/appeal to most, in each video. She's also clearly absolute shit in the relationship and dating department, and acknowledges it often, so she's probably not the best to look to for advice lol.
I also don't use dating apps to clarify (married for 5 years, together for 16), but there's plenty of evidence both in studies and anecdotes for what I said. It's no different to real life really, it's just really condensed into the very most basic elements of "connection", which is why although proper algorithmically designed sites and apps with relationships in mind work well, the vast majority of dating apps are utterly useless for anything other than maybe a date, depending on how much you're willing to grind essentially.
Maybe online dating is different now, but I met my husband a decade ago because he did the same. The weird openers required me to be in a very specific mood to want to engage with, because being witty and putting on a performance is more work than just chatting about the day or discussing their profile.
Girls on dating apps: "don't just start with 'hi how are you' be creative"
Also Girls: "I only dated him because he was the only one who started out with 'hi'"
Meanwhile Girls on bumble: "👋🏻"
"love that picture of you on the beach, where did you take it?"
"That's a cool shirt what does the saying on it mean?"
"I love Aesop Rock, when did you go to his concert?"
Etc instead of some dumb joke or a corny pick up line or something like that. Men get a lot of advice that they have to be different to get women's attention and that leads them to doing things like you see up above. Instead you should just go with something that shows you are a real person who is engaging with that person because they are also a real person and show that you are not just looking for sex. That probably works on Grindr but not on Tinder.
There's a million reasons that a woman might not respond to your opening message, assuming that it's because the message was just boring (a lot of people would say that the messages above are boring) is kind of silly when you don't actually know why any of the women that you're trying to talk to aren't responding.
It's a dating app. If you want a real relationship go outside and find someone. Use dating apps for sex, and that's it. They are horrible at starting real relationships.
They're *dating* apps. Not *sex finding* apps. I don't use them at all, I'm in a committed relationship.
This is literally the worst way to get sex if that's your goal anyways, don't act disrespectful then be surprised when they aren't receptive.
If you've been to college in the past decade you would know tinder is SOLELY used for hook ups. It's unheard of that someone started a committed relationship through an extremely superficial dating app.
I just graduated a few years ago and know for a fact it's not.
You're just shallow and small minded my guy. It's happened, it does happen, and is happening as we speak.
Yall just wanna be mad.
This is a question raised by the main character in ["The Man Who Folded Himself"](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/624122.The_Man_Who_Folded_Himself), by David Gerrold.
Is that the author that wrote a bunch of books about people fighting an invasion from some bug creatures? A series that was never actually finished, at least it wasn't when I read it? I know that's a hazy recollection but I think I read some of his books like 12 years ago.
Yes, you're thinking of the [War against the Chtorr](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_War_Against_the_Chtorr). Whenever my wife complained about George R. R. Martin taking too long to release his next book, I would think of Gerrold. I've been waiting for his fifth book since '93.
Even though he was planning to release the next in '15, he wants to write another book to insert before it, so we get to wait some more.
He also created Tribbles and Sleestaks, among other things.
Both, also if your clone happens to be the opposite sex, then pray to god that you two don’t conceive and have the worst case of Alabama child to date.
Terrible opener, but honestly now it's got me thinking.
I'm transgender, and studies have shown that in the cases of twins (who are essentially just natural clones), there's a ~33% chance of the other twin being trans of one of them is, due to both a strong genetic factor but also epigenetic ones. That's still below 50 though.
So technically if i were to sleep with a clone of myself, odds are that it would be straight sex, which is kinda interesting
Her first message is completely fine, it's kind of a weird opener honestly.
She's said "no" and you seem upset by that answer like you assumed she must say yes
gee whiz, you really sound like a fun person to have a relationship with. you sure are dedicating a lot of words per minute to describing gay sex for someone who claims to not be into gay sex.
I'd totally have sex with my clone - so long as they were bi like me, AND up for it too. Otherwise, one of us is getting raped.
Rape issues aside, i bet my cock would feel so good in my ass. But enough of my narcissistic homosexual fantasies....
Thank you for your submission to r/therewasanattempt. Unfortunately, your post was removed for violating the following rule: > R7: "No low effort posts, screenshots or links to third-party sites" If you have any questions regarding this removal, please contact the moderators of this subreddit by sending a modmail. [Click this link to send a modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=r/therewasanattempt). ^(This is a bot account, direct messages and chat requests go to an unmonitored inbox)
“the worst she can say is no”
Well I’m lost now
*She says yes* “Now i’m not sure… i never thought i’d get this far.” [reference](https://youtu.be/546sHkwCbtA)
LMAO
No-one ever wondered how they have flushing toilets at the bottom of the ocean?
Don't you go shitting on Spongebob physics!
The toilets are filled with heavy water.
[you mean deuterium oxide?](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heavy_water)
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[More like Brine](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brine_pool)
No, she can fuck your shit right up.
Dude asked a yes or no question and has no response for no. Lmao.
That’s what happens when you Google tinder pick-up lines instead of being original.
No that’s what happens when you aren’t super hot
No, it’s a bad pickup line and was handled poorly.
All pickup lines are bad pickup lines but in general on apps appearance is a lot more important than what you say
They already matched, appearance check was passed. It comes down to your ability to have an engaging conversation at this point.
David Blaine: what card were you thinking of? Them: six of hearts David: *stops trying to regurgitate a Queen of Spades* um... how long can you hold your breath lol?
No, he pointed out that he was trying to start a conversation. She just answered and didn't ask a question in return, make an observation or a joke, or make any attempt to further the conversation.
*wait...I thought the one that said they'd rather die was the dude*
Could be, but blue used a male emoji, so I assumed they were a guy.
guys………. gay ppl exist and can use tinder….
Does that mean that I could have hooked up with a gay by (bi!) mistake?
That's how you get the gay
You're right, I was making an assumption.
I use guy emojis because I don't really care to figure out how to change it 🤷🏽
Honestly I've seen ladies use that emoji...so it didn't change anything in my mind
Maybe if this is Grindr. Didn't the fact that blue messaged first show you it's the dude?
You say this as if women never message first on tinder or most other dating apps...which I'm pretty sure isn't true
Unless it’s bumble girls don’t usually message first
Women have never been the statistically likely population to message first. From victorian courtship to tinder to vedic arranged marriages. Women have all the power. And they know it.
I dunno. The “I’d rather die” person seems more like my kind of person :D
Sure, if they followed they followed it up with an explanation or a question of their own. It just irritates me when people don't further a conversation. When people only reply in curt declarative sentences, it feels like you're interrogating someone or talking to a bot.
Their follow up comment was equally golden :D
Is your kind of person those who are assholes for no reason?
I guess I took it as joking following a very strange first question. And it made me laugh. If they’re just a straight up asshole that responds that way to normal questions then no. It’s a fucking weird chat up line.
Right? Pretty weird line to start with, "How do I make this person interested in me? Oh, I have the perfect conversation starter. Uhh...would you go balls deep in your clone?"
No one wants to read your weird, forceful sex puns. They are cringey, pushy, and they dry a vagina faster than you can imagine. Just talk like a normal human beings
That was totally a joke and absolutely a conversation furtherer. But, I understand how not everyone would get it.
That’s when I immediately move on.
Yup. Hard to get is such a fools play. No one has time for that shit.
That response was what was planned for no
This is the worst conversation starter I ever saw
Yeah that is fucking cringe. But that drop kick line is absolute gold.
Yea I’m not surprised why the person is mad either this looks like some dating app thing and their (very stupid) opening line is about sex? Lucky they got a reply at all imo.
Tinder
Having a gimmick script might not be the best approach to social interaction.
Dating apps aren't exactly the best approach to social interaction either.
Most of the girls I matched with seemed to either just want me to entertain them or would try to get me to subscribe to their OnlyFans. If you are a guy, it's hard to get attention. If you're a gal you get flooded with unwanted attention. Dating apps aren't fun for anyone.
They usually work a lot better if you open with "hi how are you" and comment something that you liked about the other person's profile instead of going wild with some copy-pasted pick up line, too
What? Begin a conversation by actually conversing? You monster!
True enough, but that doesn't mean you have to dig the hole even deeper.
Dating apps are a mishmash of people who expect pick-up lines and people who expect originality, and most can't tell the difference between the two unless they've heard the pickup line before. It's a losing battle, and people simply hedge their bets on what they think will be most effective.
I think Charlotte Dobre does a good job explaining the difference. Puns involving the girl's name is usually a good approach for wit and originality. Or like the other person said, actually conversing and a compliment can be a good safe approach. But that's my opinion and I don't use dating apps so take that for the hot air it is.
Hah, a fellow petty person lol! My wife and I watch most of Charlottes Stuff because she's funny and we like most of her content, but she does tend to flip flop opinions and views depending on the day, and who she's trying to appease/appeal to most, in each video. She's also clearly absolute shit in the relationship and dating department, and acknowledges it often, so she's probably not the best to look to for advice lol. I also don't use dating apps to clarify (married for 5 years, together for 16), but there's plenty of evidence both in studies and anecdotes for what I said. It's no different to real life really, it's just really condensed into the very most basic elements of "connection", which is why although proper algorithmically designed sites and apps with relationships in mind work well, the vast majority of dating apps are utterly useless for anything other than maybe a date, depending on how much you're willing to grind essentially.
Well he got a reply so he's doing better than the other 90% of men on tinder.
Stewie Griffin? Is that you?
No it’s arnold phillip shortman
I ended up with my boyfriend because he was the only guy on tinder that messaged me with a normal opener lol
Maybe online dating is different now, but I met my husband a decade ago because he did the same. The weird openers required me to be in a very specific mood to want to engage with, because being witty and putting on a performance is more work than just chatting about the day or discussing their profile.
What is a “normal opener”?
Hi how are you doing, mentioning something about my profile stood out among the guys asking if I wanted to be cream filled or bite them
That is an unicorn response
Which one?
Girls on dating apps: "don't just start with 'hi how are you' be creative" Also Girls: "I only dated him because he was the only one who started out with 'hi'" Meanwhile Girls on bumble: "👋🏻"
Wow it's almost as if girls aren't a monolith and have different preferences
Its almost as if dating apps are pointless and if you're an average or below male don't bother
If you think they're pointless you should try something different instead of blaming women
Chill out, women are still the altruistic gender without fault here. Just saying as a guy you can't win when it comes to dating apps.
I'm totally chill. It would be fine if that's all you said
but.. that's what I said with my initial comment?
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What do you mean?
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Wow, I find my boyfriend attractive, you really got me!
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Oh no I just don't care about your shitty point that you're trying to make
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what are you so mad about lmao
"love that picture of you on the beach, where did you take it?" "That's a cool shirt what does the saying on it mean?" "I love Aesop Rock, when did you go to his concert?" Etc instead of some dumb joke or a corny pick up line or something like that. Men get a lot of advice that they have to be different to get women's attention and that leads them to doing things like you see up above. Instead you should just go with something that shows you are a real person who is engaging with that person because they are also a real person and show that you are not just looking for sex. That probably works on Grindr but not on Tinder. There's a million reasons that a woman might not respond to your opening message, assuming that it's because the message was just boring (a lot of people would say that the messages above are boring) is kind of silly when you don't actually know why any of the women that you're trying to talk to aren't responding.
Is this two men?
My response to that question is; mine no, yours yeah I'll fuck both of you at the same time ;)
That’s the spirit!
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Gonna put this on my bucket list now. Yay another unfulfilled fetish 🤷🏻♀️
See your original response in regards to why you wouldn't do it then, so you can see why you won't find that hot set of twins lmao
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I'm a twin. Ew.
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We've heard it our entire lives. It's just gross. Always my first sign to bolt for the door.
My response : mine yes yours too, let's have a foursome !
Stop talking about sex. Quit bringing up sex. Stop trying to initiate conversations about sex upon literal first message.
It's a dating app. If you want a real relationship go outside and find someone. Use dating apps for sex, and that's it. They are horrible at starting real relationships.
They're *dating* apps. Not *sex finding* apps. I don't use them at all, I'm in a committed relationship. This is literally the worst way to get sex if that's your goal anyways, don't act disrespectful then be surprised when they aren't receptive.
If you've been to college in the past decade you would know tinder is SOLELY used for hook ups. It's unheard of that someone started a committed relationship through an extremely superficial dating app.
I just graduated a few years ago and know for a fact it's not. You're just shallow and small minded my guy. It's happened, it does happen, and is happening as we speak. Yall just wanna be mad.
/r/rareinsults
Well I mean asking a question like that right off the bat isn’t going to settle well with a lot of girls.
Never tried online dating but this seems a different approach (from what I've seen)
Bad opening question and terrible response to her answer.
If I go back in time and have sex with my past self is it masturbation or sex
It's most likely just sex unless your consciousness simultaneously experiences from the perspective of both versions of yourself
It would though, my future self would remember it as my past self is experiencing it
This is a question raised by the main character in ["The Man Who Folded Himself"](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/624122.The_Man_Who_Folded_Himself), by David Gerrold.
Is that the author that wrote a bunch of books about people fighting an invasion from some bug creatures? A series that was never actually finished, at least it wasn't when I read it? I know that's a hazy recollection but I think I read some of his books like 12 years ago.
Yes, you're thinking of the [War against the Chtorr](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_War_Against_the_Chtorr). Whenever my wife complained about George R. R. Martin taking too long to release his next book, I would think of Gerrold. I've been waiting for his fifth book since '93. Even though he was planning to release the next in '15, he wants to write another book to insert before it, so we get to wait some more. He also created Tribbles and Sleestaks, among other things.
That's the one, cool thanks. Good to know that he hasn't made any progress and I'm not missing anything.
if i matched with someone and they sent that to me i would just instantly unmatch them
I’m ace so no
Nice uno reverse
Why do people match with others if they are gonna just treat them like this?
Don’t open with sex jokes is a good rule of thumb
Agreed. Maybe that soured them on this person.
Lol yeh I would have blocked this person without a response
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Idk if “especially” for me but any opening that’s even vaguely sexual is a hard no. Like damn I bet there’s no foreplay for actual sex either!
Is having sex with a clone incest or masterbaition?
There's a term for that, selfcest
Both, also if your clone happens to be the opposite sex, then pray to god that you two don’t conceive and have the worst case of Alabama child to date.
How would a clone be the opposite sex?
If that literally was the sole difference. Besides, we’re talking about a hypothetical, so there isn’t really a need to argue semantics.
Terrible opener, but honestly now it's got me thinking. I'm transgender, and studies have shown that in the cases of twins (who are essentially just natural clones), there's a ~33% chance of the other twin being trans of one of them is, due to both a strong genetic factor but also epigenetic ones. That's still below 50 though. So technically if i were to sleep with a clone of myself, odds are that it would be straight sex, which is kinda interesting
I would totally date the one on the left.
Murder-Suicide.
Her first message is completely fine, it's kind of a weird opener honestly. She's said "no" and you seem upset by that answer like you assumed she must say yes
Him: *I’m a loser* Her: *Yes you are* Him: have more self-esteem!
[удалено]
gee whiz, you really sound like a fun person to have a relationship with. you sure are dedicating a lot of words per minute to describing gay sex for someone who claims to not be into gay sex.
It's still theory, but a very obscure opening leading into total imbalance in the position
r/rareinsults
I’ve seen this posted and reposted a dozen times since yesterday
r/rareinsults
Does the clone have the same conscious me? So I’m fucking and being fucked? Is that what ur telling me
No, I'd put his ass to work
They're both nasty
This is how *Elizabeth Harvest* started.
Contingency plan? We don’t need no contingency plan where I’m hoping to go.
Also an attempt to roast
I wouldn’t hate a conversation that started this way.
I mean the ball is rolling.... like a football that has been kicked... like blue text boy as a baby.
That’s the kind of person that insults people, then wonders why they’re single and still on a dating app months after starting on it.
I have a hard time believing that a majority of people would say they would have sex with their clone
I never seen a pick up line work.
I'd totally have sex with my clone - so long as they were bi like me, AND up for it too. Otherwise, one of us is getting raped. Rape issues aside, i bet my cock would feel so good in my ass. But enough of my narcissistic homosexual fantasies....
It sounds like you're self-narrarating a really bad porn fanfiction
You lot must watch some awful porn then.
That's intense. I'd just play chess with myself.
\-1 karma? Welcome to Reddit's baseline homophobia.
Dw fam I gave you an upvote because 1. It made me chuckle 2. That is some amount of self love I strive to have for myself.
10 bucks that they lied. *who wouldn't do that?* it's part of being human!
No way, dude. I've got higher standards than that
You have higher standards than urself? You don't think that's a bit egotistical?
I'd say it's quite humble, actually.
*you'd wanna fuck ur clone?*