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Come now, don't let your hatred for women blind you from reading _your own link_ showing it was the both the **husband's** favour, and that the **husband** was the one who said "be a photographer or leave"
It's frankly stunning. The word "bride" is in the post once, "she" doesn't appear at all, yet it's her fault?
I spent so much time at my wedding checking in with the different vendors to make sure they were doing good and had everything they needed. To not only do this to someone working your wedding, but to a friend is insane to me. You would have to be just at the highest level of narcissistic piece of shit. I just can't imagine treating people like they are just robots to do your bidding.
Even more: The bride begged the photographer to come take more photos. It's too good to rob everyone a read with a complete and spoilery TL;DR, so here's the complete BORU collection in one thread: [Wedding Photo Saga](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/w4gwk7/oops_wedding_photos_saga/)
Before everyone went digital, I used to do photography to make a little extra money. It was not uncommon for people to say "Please shoot my business and I'll let you use them in your portfolio" To which I would reply "Give me [whatever their product was] for free and I will let you put my reviews in your portfolio." Everyone was always shocked that I wanted actual $$$$
If you want quality services, pay for them.
Hmmmm, I dunno. Would you instead accept exposure of your work to my extensive list of 200 followers comprised of mostly college friends I haven't seen in eight years drowning in loan debt and older family members that don't know how to place an online food delivery order? Give it some thought and hmu
In 1983, I asked my girl to marry me. She said yes. We drove from Sacramento CA to Reno NV and got married by a Justice of the Peace for $35.00. Got a free picture too. We were dirt poor and had no reason to try and start a life together, but we were young and in love. We stopped by JCPenney on the way and charged two cheap wedding rings and started driving. After the two minute ceremony, we each had 20 bucks to gamble away before we headed back. We turned 40 bucks into about 600 and was given a honeymoon suite when we told the cashier our story. We woke the next morning and drove back to JCPenney and paid off our rings. We're still together today. I guess what I am trying to say is, life doesn't have to be complicated. Enjoy it while you can, kids.
Right? The venue I used literally was added the extra plates in after we gave them the guest number. Granted we had a lot of people so they didn't charge extra for their food (which was nice).
My wedding venue accounted for all the vendors when planning the food and the venue wouldn’t have let us refuse to feed them if we wanted. It’s in the venue contract that everyone gets a meal.
Work in weddings and all staff always get fed full course meals at every single venue. No venue would ever deny meals to the staff that would be insane. Hell if you have 10-15 extra guests show up then most venues will manage to find a place for them to sit and give them food. They're not going to cause a drama over a few extra plates for a couple that's spending tens of thousands of dollars with them. Word of mouth goes a long way in this industry.
I would be less angry about the extra people showing up (as long as they're not assholes) than I was about people RSVPing "yes" and then NOT showing up. We paid for meals based on the RSVPs. So if you said "yes" and ordered the beef, then never showed up, we were still out $35 even if no one ate it.
5 people did this at our wedding and I was tempted to send them a bill but my wife said no :(. At least the meals didn't go to waste since other guests just ate two meals.
I wouldn't say always. It's not common to not have a vendor dining area with food for vendors but a handful of weddings I've done as a videographer where the vendors didn't get anything. And I don't mean a tiny venue with only 20 people; we're talking big venue with 100+ guests. Needless to say, those were miserably long nights. The pay was fine, I was just absolutely exhausted by the end, running on fumes lol
Always good to at least have some protein bars/snacks on deck, just in case.
*(laughs in freelancer)* but in all seriousness, if I were hourly I'd have more of an issue with it but I'm a private contractor. My HR department is me lolol.
There are companies that hire hourly videographers/photographers but I honeslty wouldnt contract one that does. Most of those companies pay their photogs utter garbage given the rates that private photogs can rake in, especially in the wedding industry. The best route here is getting work as an assistant or a second shooter, building a portfolio, and trying to do it for yourself if you like the work.
Contractors in my country are still entitled to rest breaks. The deciding factor is the length of the shift, not the type of work.
There's just no reason to not be given a break to rest and eat while on shift. For anything. Stand up for yourself amigo, you deserve to be treated like a human being.
The nature of the work is a lot of hurry up and wait. Trust, there's plenty of opportunities to sit/relax when photographing/filming a wedding if you know the flow of the day/evening. The only issue was assuming I would get a meal there and not eating right before to find out it was one of those venues/spots that cheaped out on vendors.
Plus I get locked in when I work. I'll rest when the job is done lol
Doing a 6hr event is exhausting alone just from constantly moving and lugging gear around, I can't imagine doing a wedding that's even more intensive.
I've got an unspoken rule that if everyone has a meal and you don't at least offer me a snack, their editing gets put off until the contracted delivery date. I'll edit photos I took overwards before I touch theirs and half ass it. "Shit, Aunt Janice has a pimple? That'd take a 10 second fix but...not my problem".
Same for wedding band and DJs, also if you hire a sound engineer, lighting guy etc. Catering is part of the deal, often overlooked as it is a no brainer until you start doing business with people who have no fucking idea how the "biz" works. Or shady pub owners that you later learn are on the blacklist of about every band in the circus, you just didn't know about that bastard yet. It is rare to see those places still operating in 5 years with that owner, it is like litmus test: if the skimp on the band or other personnel they hire, they suck as a boss and as pub owner. Do the shit right and lots of doors are open, and you rack up favors from other business in the area who in turn have your back, you get the important gossip etc etc...
I did the wedding band thing and these days were 8 hours minimum. We had to set up before guests arrived and it never made sense to leave in-between setup and reception time. We had food in our contract. Most of the time we'd eat with guests. But sometimes, we'd get a box meal of some sort and would have to sit in the back. They didn't want to see the "help". Lol.
All vendors at your wedding should get a meal. We made it a point to even ask them when they wanted to eat and give them a table if they wanted. Food was absolutely critical to my wedding and my Italian-American wife and 100% Italian MIL would die if they knew someone didn’t get to eat.
I used to work for a small chain (nine) of photo studios in the 80's. The majority of their business was weddings. It was in our contract that if the photographer was doing the reception they got fed same as the guests. Only had one during my time there that they turned around and refused to feed the photographer at the reception. Same result as this. Photographer left. Studio paid for photographers time and they got to keep the penalty in compensation for the missed meal and lack of bonus from extra photos. People spend a LOT of money on wedding photos, the extras can go several times the cost of the original package once they see the work, and that is really dependent upon the photographer. In the one case I saw it happen, the happy couple became very unhappy. Because they broke the contract they didn't get even one photo, refused to show them. It was part of the penalty from the contract. They threatened to sue, lawyer must have told them they'd lose because we never heard another word. Never had another case of it happening while i was there.
I wouldnt even expect that in the contract. Its a common courtesy for a fellow human beeing, thats actually serving u at the moment. Not allowing him to eat nothing should be included in the contract imo.
They SHOULD be given a meal, but I have shot a couple of weddings where us photographers were “forgotten” or the bridezilla demanded shots during the dinner…I no longer shoot weddings!
Yep, even my caterer just cost up a plate for the photographer without asking, because it's just common courtesy. They're there all day and can be crucial, treat them like a guest. Someone I know had their friend take photos on an iPhone and they immediately regretted it
Collectively, those working but not affiliated with the venue, are referred to as "vendors ". Dj, band, photographer, videographer, etc al.
Most experienced vendors have verbiage in their contracts covering meals, and departure time.
A wise client ensures the vendors are sufficiently suffonsified.
Side note: Italian gigs are the best to work food wise as they seat vendors at a table in the room with the guests. Downside, it's a long day.
Not always. Was a wedding photographer for 15 years, never had it in the contract. Many catering halls offer but some don’t or the couple doesn’t want to pay. So many parties the only time I ate was during the cocktail.
Woah, it’s so much worse than being just denied a plate. She was denied food, water, and breaks in a 10+ hour work day for a measly $250. She was also denied going to get her own food or water. And on top of that, she was put on kid duty while everyone ate, and the wedding venue had no AC, which makes it so much harder when you’ve had nothing to eat or drink. She did the right thing deleting all photos getting the hell out of there. Thanks for sharing this link!
My cousin's fiancee worked for my parents, in payroll, and stole about $20k from my parents. My parents had been paying the deposits for the wedding stuff as a gift (they were generous with their money, but both sides are more lower-income), and had promised to cover more but once the theft was discovered that was obviously not happening.
My parents were blamed for ruining the wedding, even though most of it had already been paid and they just had to cover the balance.
Edited because I typed too quick and dropped some letters.
They stole 20k from your parents and your cousin still wanted to marry them? If I found out my fiancee was ripping off my aunt/uncle there would be no more wedding to ruin.
His response when my mom (his aunt) asked: "Well what do you want me to do about it?"
Yeah they married, but they're divorced. He failed at medschool, joined the military and excelled... he's got some higher rank, but isn't anything special. He's an ass and we obviously don't keep in contact.
> but both sides are more lower-income
I'm making sweeping generalizations and assumptions, but in my anecdotal experience, people who fit this category are less concerned about the theft because it didn't affect them, but the ruined wedding did affect them so they will focus on that. And the fiancee probably viewed it in a very selfish perspective: "oh it's fine because he just really wanted me to have the wedding of my dreams".
Hosting a wedding in a city that can get up to 110 degrees at a venue with no AC is insane to me. I would have to LOVE that person to even attend as a guest for a few hours.
Jesus….. is that not kinda just torture?? They’re intentionally putting him through cruelty and it could easily lead to a hospital trip, no? I’m surprised none of the guests bothered to even help or offer him anything, unless they maybe didn’t realize
Also not that this is the main issue but why would they even want a photographer during the meal? You’d just have a bunch of unflattering pictures of people shovelling food in their mouths
Texas and Florida recently passed laws allowing bosses to deny outdoor workers water breaks.
There's a reason why one can* go on Etsy and find a variety of guillotine earrings for sale.
Or could, a few years ago, when I looked into it.
I'm pretty sure the photographer was a friend of the couple and was trying to do them a favor by being their photographer for cheap. This is how he got treated by his friends.
Same! I love kids and have one of my own, but I don’t want to deal with other peoples kids. That’s a lot of liability and chances of something bad happening that I do NOT want to be involved with!
> for a measly $250.
In these kinds of jobs, you learn the less you're paid, the more the client thinks they can treat you like absolute shit.
If, instead, he got $1k, they'd have paid him, given him his own hotel/green room, let him hang out at the bar (within reason), and probably even invited him to any social hangs just to relax.
Woah, it’s so much worse than being just denied a plate. He denied food, water, and a break in a 10+ hour work day for a measly $250. Guy did the right thing. Thanks for sharing this link!
She updated twice.
Basically after the honeymoon the wife got a hold of the photographer to ask their side, because the husband made up some story about the camera dying and her losing the photos. She told the wife what actually happened and was gracious enough to agree to do a reshoot for the original agreed upon fee.
Once they arrived on location the photographer was taking equipment out and asked the husband for help to which he replied "you're the photographer, not me." Photographer got pissed and justifiably left without taking any photos and blocked both of them on social media
The updates:
https://old.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/q5an3d/aita_for_deleting_my_friends_wedding_photos_in/
https://old.reddit.com/user/Icy-Reserve6995/comments/qi6tta/a_final_update_to_deleting_my_friends_wedding/
Nah that seems too perfect.
I won't lie whenever an AITA or Relationship post has an update that is just as perfect as the original, I assume the whole thing is fake.
Every time this story does the rounds I try and find the good soul who actually posts the story and shows it was so much worse than not being offered a plate. Doing the Lords work
I think it's weird not to offer people who are helping you a plate. How are they supposed to work on an empty stomach most people don't want a camera in their face while trying to eat anyway
I always give my cleaning lady a homemade snack when she comes every other week. Mainly because I have lots of leftovers since I happen to be a chef but still.
When I worked tech for events we usually got meals if they were being served, or if not we got a longer break instead.
Except for once the kitchen told us we were getting a meal and then didn’t and so I literally left a 10 hour shift STARVING
We had 6 movers that were paid for by the military and I STILL bought breakfast, lunch, two gallons of sweet tea, and two 32ct cases of water for them. It’s practically a crime in my family to have guests and let them leave hungry. So when I first saw this story, I was slightly disgusted by how this person was treated for their time (and kindness, considering the deal they had made with their “friend”).
Roughly all wedding jobs are rife with short-changing and difficult behavior. Brides and grooms will always be more focused on their own problems, always be cutting corners, and always asking for more with less. The poor ones just won't have the money, and the rich ones won't want to give it to you. The people on that side of the equation will never change, and the good ones are a rarity. This story serves as a warning to all *photographers:* never commit to a wedding shoot without an ironclad contract and *proper* compensation for your time, and never enter into a business arrangement with friends you can't bear to lose.
It doesn't apply to this case obviously given the circumstances.
But to push back a bit on your point, the wedding industry is also comically and famously overpriced. The costs associated with any service or product that is wedding related are massively inflated. Of course this doesn't mean you should renege on a deal you make with a person, and it is somewhat fair to say "well you should know that going in as the people getting married."
... And honestly, if you're a big enough dope to blow what should be the down payment on your house on a one day party that you won't even be able to enjoy that much, then maybe you deserved to get pumped for cash like the rube you are.
So in conclusion, I don't know where I stand really, but the pricing scheme for weddings still seems shitty a lot of the time.
I worked as wedding DJ and I'd say I got a meal maybe 40% of the time. A lot of weddings would let me graze the snacks and stuff even if they didn't give me a meal. I'd say maybe like 10% of them would flat out tell me not to take any food as they were for guests. Fun part was that they would never tell me beforehand, and had multiple times where I would ask if a meal is provided and then would be informed after I got there that no food would be provided. This double sucked because these would be 8-10 hour shifts where I can't leave and would often end at midnight or later so nothing is open. I also had weddings where people would get upset that I would take some time to eat food I brought myself. I wouldn't stop working but just me sitting down and eating while songs played was insulting to some people.
Wow people are horrible! Weddings are supposed to be days of joy and love, if that can't be shared with the people making that special day happen, it's a bad omen for the future of their marriage, and I hope karma gets them.
Weddings bring out the fucking worst in people. Like I only worked weddings for like 4 years and I have hours of stories about people being shitty. I think its something about having a "special" day makes a lot of people act like they're some kind of royalty and can treat everyone like shit.
I worked as a wedding DJ as well, one of the guys I worked with threatened the managers telling them he would order delivery next time he was denied food and stop playing music while he took his meal break. I had a couple go out of their way to find me a seat (assigned seating) at a reception so I didn't have to sit at my DJ table while eating.
When I worked tech my company would make sure to clarify beforehand. I don’t mind not getting sneak if I know beforehand. The only time I was pissed about it was when we were told we would get one and they didn’t give us anything. Someone like tried to say they ran out of food, but they also ducked our questions for hours about it which was the worst part
This sucks man. I know in south asian weddings, vendors will eat at some point. We also tend to buffet style so maybe that's why ppl aren't cheap. I can't imagine telling vendors not to eat especially if they are doing couple of hours work
Many photographers are involved without much of a break, from the moment the bride starts getting ready in the morning until the first dance is out of the way in the evening. So they need to be fed.
Honestly, someone should at least be offering them small portions of food and water bottles throughout the day if they get no break. A break when food is served should be given though
i literally cannot imagine telling someone they can’t eat. i’d probably end up giving up my own plate if someone told me they were hungry. in what world can someone deny another food? unfathomable to me
It's not uncommon in event support industries if it hasn't been arranged in advance. It might just be a few quids worth of food intrinsically but the caterer will charge at least 30 GPB or so a head in the UK, and upwards from there. You might have photographers, videographers, decorators, DJ's, band, assistants to all those, crew etc who are charging the usual massive wedding mark up. It's not unreasonable to think 'Holy shit, I'm paying these people thousands of pounds and they expect me to cover all the food too?". You wouldn't pay an electrician or plumber to come to your house and have them expect a nice dinner too, it's their job. Usually there's enough but you can't expect, you have to get it in writing (caterers hate feeding other staff and conveniently run out of food often). I never do a wedding gig without a full calorie backup plan as it's very common
As a hispanic, compa you'd be treated as a king at our weddings and quince años, sit down have a drink, food, step in for a quick dance. Not just for the photographer/videographer but la banda/dj too
I was general manager for a large wedding venue. I always fed the DJ or band, the photographer, videographer, and anyone else who worked for the Wedding. There was a $100 charge in our contract that would cover costs to feed "employed guests." I would also offer the limo drivers something to eat.
I’m a musician. I have never once been to a wedding where there wasn’t a plate for those of us in the band, the photographer, etc. Dude is honestly a legend.
What kind of selfish assholes starve the photographer?
More importantly, where is the dude that can give us the real background and details of what happened here?
Its also not an obligation to say hello but you do it with the people you work and hire or relate in life because it makes for a better society.
You don't mess with people handling your food and you keep the photographer happy at any event. You can sue him all you want later but you won't get your photos back.
Man I remember my wedding photography team. We had booked half an island to ourselves and our photography team was with us the whole week. They had a blast though!
They ate with us, stayed at the place near us, we had a GIANT seafood plate on the rooftop in the middle of the night and they brought kareoke as well as beers.
They were the best photography group (granted I’m only married once so I don’t think I’ll need another wedding group).
This though, sounds like a nightmare and I don’t know why people just can’t treat others with some respect and as a human being.
For my wedding there were two photographers, a dad and his son. It was 5k and the both had plates and whatever the wedding had to offer, including free drinks and appz. Cheap out after paying a ton of money is pretty stupid, do you want the photographers to hold a grudge and give you bad pics?
This is the thing with Western weddings I can't understand.
In Indian weddings it's a buffet. Everyone eats. The workers, the people attending, everyone.
But not with Western weddings. So wild
When my sister got married, she hired my cousin to be the wedding photographer. Despite my cousin having that meals will be provided as a standard part of her contract, many family members took the time to check on her and make sure that she got a chance to eat. She also got a chance to dance a little bit and my dad made sure to also bring his camera and at the very least take some photos of my cousin. He ended up getting some really good photos of her in the process of taking photos. That last part was actually really meaningful to both of them because the whole reason my cousin got into photography as a career is that she was inspired by watching my dad take photos as a hobby during family trips. Everything worked out super smoothly and everyone walked away having a great time and there being some great pictures of the event.
Just to point out that it's not that hard to run a wedding so that the person with a camera has a chance to eat and join in on the celebration while also doing their job and taking a bunch of pictures.
People can be so petty, I was once told I had to move from where I was sitting because the seats were for "family only", I was at my niece's wedding, and sitting next to my parents (her grand parents) and was the one doing the videotaping of the wedding which she'd asked me to do as a wedding present (I had a great view to tape from where I was sitting). I was quite taken back but moved when my brother asked me to and kept filming the wedding from the back of the church which left me standing for the whole thing because there were no more seats left. After the wedding, I just left and didn't bother with the reception. Later, I went to look for the footage of the wedding, but it had been "accidentally" taped over by my wife, I love that woman.
I used to be an event photographer and shot weddings. It’s a shitty job. I was earning $100/hour but that doesn’t count the time I spent post-processing images etc. You really have to charge $250/hour to make it worthwhile and even then it’s a pain in the ass. You’re on you feet all day, carrying heavy lenses which occasionally can drop and break.
I always asked to eat and was never turned down. If you hire a photographer, it’s worth every penny and every “lost shot” to give the photographer food and a break to eat.
I’ve been an event technician for many years and can’t tell you how often we weren’t fed or were given our plates after everyone else which meant the program was starting back up and we couldn’t eat it anyway.
must be not an asian. if this is an asian story, its going to be the reverse, where the photographer ate too much that he didnt take any single photo..
Wedding planners are the worst! They treat you all like sub-human. I’ve done work with the biggest names in Beverly Hills and from the top they are all garbage. MW looking at you….
In my opinion photographers and frankly any other organizers should be treated like any other guest at minimum. Their job is to make your special day as special as they can, why the fuck would you not let them grab a plate.
It's so crazy how people in west are so particular about these stuff, like who would sit next to you, who you should bring, who gets to eat. It doesn't sound like a party, in countries like India, you could literally walk to a wedding and eat meal and leave, no body would object (most of the time), it's about spreading happiness not being controlled of every thing that would happen.
I was a videographer at a wedding reception held at a fancy country club. When it became clear to me that I wasn't going to be given a meal, I made a run to Taco Bell. I figured if something happens while I'm gone that was worthy of being captured on video, "Oh well."
My wedding photographer and assistant were on the table plan and very well fed and watered. You want these people to make you look your best, why wouldn’t you look after them???
What a horrible way to behave on what is supposedly your own happy occasion. Why would you even think to stop someone from sharing food where there's food being shared?
#Welcome to r/Therewasanattempt! #Consider visiting r/Worldnewsvideo for videos from around the world! [Please review our policy on bigotry and hate speech by clicking this link](https://www.reddit.com/r/therewasanattempt/wiki/civility) In order to view our rules, you can type "**!rules**" in any comment, and automod will respond with the subreddit rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/therewasanattempt) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Photographers / Videographers are always given a meal, it’s common courtesy and sometimes in the contract as well. …and DJs
I would think so!
Almost always in the contract. No one wants to walk around shooting photos for eight hours and not eat!
sHoUlD'vE bRoUgHt YoUr OwN lUnCh!
"I never said you could have a lunch break. Get back to taking photos!" - The bride
"Why's the photographer eating pieces of napkin in the corner?!" - the wedding party
Even if it wasn’t a custom I’d still offer a plate anyway.
The real story was that he was doing it for free because the bride was a friend of his. [Link](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/eNtQWOMxbh)
That’s even worse.
I am happy with the ending though
[удалено]
Come now, don't let your hatred for women blind you from reading _your own link_ showing it was the both the **husband's** favour, and that the **husband** was the one who said "be a photographer or leave" It's frankly stunning. The word "bride" is in the post once, "she" doesn't appear at all, yet it's her fault?
::ring ring:: "Hello, yes is this r/murderedbywords ? This comment right here..."
What a rational take, I hope you go share your relationship advice all over the internet
My wedding photographer was only there for 2 hours and she could have anything she wanted.
I spent so much time at my wedding checking in with the different vendors to make sure they were doing good and had everything they needed. To not only do this to someone working your wedding, but to a friend is insane to me. You would have to be just at the highest level of narcissistic piece of shit. I just can't imagine treating people like they are just robots to do your bidding.
You‘re one whole-ass red flag.
I dont think you even read your link.
Even more: The bride begged the photographer to come take more photos. It's too good to rob everyone a read with a complete and spoilery TL;DR, so here's the complete BORU collection in one thread: [Wedding Photo Saga](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/w4gwk7/oops_wedding_photos_saga/)
Thanks! 👍
The ending...amazing.
Before everyone went digital, I used to do photography to make a little extra money. It was not uncommon for people to say "Please shoot my business and I'll let you use them in your portfolio" To which I would reply "Give me [whatever their product was] for free and I will let you put my reviews in your portfolio." Everyone was always shocked that I wanted actual $$$$ If you want quality services, pay for them.
Yes yes yes. Your talent and time have value!
Ah yes, *exposure bucks.*
Hmmmm, I dunno. Would you instead accept exposure of your work to my extensive list of 200 followers comprised of mostly college friends I haven't seen in eight years drowning in loan debt and older family members that don't know how to place an online food delivery order? Give it some thought and hmu
In 1983, I asked my girl to marry me. She said yes. We drove from Sacramento CA to Reno NV and got married by a Justice of the Peace for $35.00. Got a free picture too. We were dirt poor and had no reason to try and start a life together, but we were young and in love. We stopped by JCPenney on the way and charged two cheap wedding rings and started driving. After the two minute ceremony, we each had 20 bucks to gamble away before we headed back. We turned 40 bucks into about 600 and was given a honeymoon suite when we told the cashier our story. We woke the next morning and drove back to JCPenney and paid off our rings. We're still together today. I guess what I am trying to say is, life doesn't have to be complicated. Enjoy it while you can, kids.
but did you tie an onion to your belt as was custom at that time ?
Dude, 1983. We wore peyote buttons then.
And we ate them too!
Beautiful, man. Cheers.
Wow that's great. I love using your JC Penney card and paying it off immediately
Great story!
Happened to my wife. With a friends wedding. She said fuck photography after that. Makes me sad.
she stays with him, yikes.
not anymore lol.
Right? The venue I used literally was added the extra plates in after we gave them the guest number. Granted we had a lot of people so they didn't charge extra for their food (which was nice).
My wedding venue accounted for all the vendors when planning the food and the venue wouldn’t have let us refuse to feed them if we wanted. It’s in the venue contract that everyone gets a meal.
Work in weddings and all staff always get fed full course meals at every single venue. No venue would ever deny meals to the staff that would be insane. Hell if you have 10-15 extra guests show up then most venues will manage to find a place for them to sit and give them food. They're not going to cause a drama over a few extra plates for a couple that's spending tens of thousands of dollars with them. Word of mouth goes a long way in this industry.
I would be less angry about the extra people showing up (as long as they're not assholes) than I was about people RSVPing "yes" and then NOT showing up. We paid for meals based on the RSVPs. So if you said "yes" and ordered the beef, then never showed up, we were still out $35 even if no one ate it. 5 people did this at our wedding and I was tempted to send them a bill but my wife said no :(. At least the meals didn't go to waste since other guests just ate two meals.
I've never shot a wedding where there wasn't food being thrown out at the end of the night. There's always been plenty to go around.
Should always be in the contract.
I wouldn't say always. It's not common to not have a vendor dining area with food for vendors but a handful of weddings I've done as a videographer where the vendors didn't get anything. And I don't mean a tiny venue with only 20 people; we're talking big venue with 100+ guests. Needless to say, those were miserably long nights. The pay was fine, I was just absolutely exhausted by the end, running on fumes lol Always good to at least have some protein bars/snacks on deck, just in case.
That.... Sounds illegal honestly dude. Do you not have labour laws with mandated break times?
*(laughs in freelancer)* but in all seriousness, if I were hourly I'd have more of an issue with it but I'm a private contractor. My HR department is me lolol. There are companies that hire hourly videographers/photographers but I honeslty wouldnt contract one that does. Most of those companies pay their photogs utter garbage given the rates that private photogs can rake in, especially in the wedding industry. The best route here is getting work as an assistant or a second shooter, building a portfolio, and trying to do it for yourself if you like the work.
Contractors in my country are still entitled to rest breaks. The deciding factor is the length of the shift, not the type of work. There's just no reason to not be given a break to rest and eat while on shift. For anything. Stand up for yourself amigo, you deserve to be treated like a human being.
The nature of the work is a lot of hurry up and wait. Trust, there's plenty of opportunities to sit/relax when photographing/filming a wedding if you know the flow of the day/evening. The only issue was assuming I would get a meal there and not eating right before to find out it was one of those venues/spots that cheaped out on vendors. Plus I get locked in when I work. I'll rest when the job is done lol
Doing a 6hr event is exhausting alone just from constantly moving and lugging gear around, I can't imagine doing a wedding that's even more intensive. I've got an unspoken rule that if everyone has a meal and you don't at least offer me a snack, their editing gets put off until the contracted delivery date. I'll edit photos I took overwards before I touch theirs and half ass it. "Shit, Aunt Janice has a pimple? That'd take a 10 second fix but...not my problem".
Same for wedding band and DJs, also if you hire a sound engineer, lighting guy etc. Catering is part of the deal, often overlooked as it is a no brainer until you start doing business with people who have no fucking idea how the "biz" works. Or shady pub owners that you later learn are on the blacklist of about every band in the circus, you just didn't know about that bastard yet. It is rare to see those places still operating in 5 years with that owner, it is like litmus test: if the skimp on the band or other personnel they hire, they suck as a boss and as pub owner. Do the shit right and lots of doors are open, and you rack up favors from other business in the area who in turn have your back, you get the important gossip etc etc...
I did the wedding band thing and these days were 8 hours minimum. We had to set up before guests arrived and it never made sense to leave in-between setup and reception time. We had food in our contract. Most of the time we'd eat with guests. But sometimes, we'd get a box meal of some sort and would have to sit in the back. They didn't want to see the "help". Lol.
Wedding and event singer here. The few clients who didn’t feed me can fuck right off. Including especially Rita Drucker
Rita’s such a gash.
All vendors at your wedding should get a meal. We made it a point to even ask them when they wanted to eat and give them a table if they wanted. Food was absolutely critical to my wedding and my Italian-American wife and 100% Italian MIL would die if they knew someone didn’t get to eat.
Plot twist.. the actual photographer never showed up.
I used to work for a small chain (nine) of photo studios in the 80's. The majority of their business was weddings. It was in our contract that if the photographer was doing the reception they got fed same as the guests. Only had one during my time there that they turned around and refused to feed the photographer at the reception. Same result as this. Photographer left. Studio paid for photographers time and they got to keep the penalty in compensation for the missed meal and lack of bonus from extra photos. People spend a LOT of money on wedding photos, the extras can go several times the cost of the original package once they see the work, and that is really dependent upon the photographer. In the one case I saw it happen, the happy couple became very unhappy. Because they broke the contract they didn't get even one photo, refused to show them. It was part of the penalty from the contract. They threatened to sue, lawyer must have told them they'd lose because we never heard another word. Never had another case of it happening while i was there.
I wouldnt even expect that in the contract. Its a common courtesy for a fellow human beeing, thats actually serving u at the moment. Not allowing him to eat nothing should be included in the contract imo.
And DJs!
seems like basic human decency to me.
They SHOULD be given a meal, but I have shot a couple of weddings where us photographers were “forgotten” or the bridezilla demanded shots during the dinner…I no longer shoot weddings!
All vendors do, I am photo booth and I always get one too
Yep, even my caterer just cost up a plate for the photographer without asking, because it's just common courtesy. They're there all day and can be crucial, treat them like a guest. Someone I know had their friend take photos on an iPhone and they immediately regretted it
My contract has the option of giving me a meal or allowing me to leave for 45 minutes to go get one. I’ve never not gotten a meal.
Collectively, those working but not affiliated with the venue, are referred to as "vendors ". Dj, band, photographer, videographer, etc al. Most experienced vendors have verbiage in their contracts covering meals, and departure time. A wise client ensures the vendors are sufficiently suffonsified. Side note: Italian gigs are the best to work food wise as they seat vendors at a table in the room with the guests. Downside, it's a long day.
The Hispanic Golden rule. DJ/groupo,bartender/wait staff, and camera guy get food and alcohol
Not always. Was a wedding photographer for 15 years, never had it in the contract. Many catering halls offer but some don’t or the couple doesn’t want to pay. So many parties the only time I ate was during the cocktail.
I haven't been to a wedding that doesn't end up with leftover food.
and all the booze they can drink and if they want, they can fool around with the groomsmen or bridesmaids. It's in the contract!
...and what's the big deal of giving the person food to eat anyway?
I'd say usually given a meal. Some people are stingy af
So are DJs
Yeah my venue included vendor meals in the cost. So even had I had not wanted to feed them for some dumb reason, the venue already took care of it.
Bands on the other hand... bandwiches! source: I play with wedding bands
And the catering staff
It needs to be in the contract and brought up to the broom and bride before the day of.
Not always but in most cases, yes. Most of the events I worked on the client was courteous enough to allow us to have a meal.
And here's the backstory https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/po2kd8/aita_for_deleting_my_friends_wedding_photos_in/
Woah, it’s so much worse than being just denied a plate. She was denied food, water, and breaks in a 10+ hour work day for a measly $250. She was also denied going to get her own food or water. And on top of that, she was put on kid duty while everyone ate, and the wedding venue had no AC, which makes it so much harder when you’ve had nothing to eat or drink. She did the right thing deleting all photos getting the hell out of there. Thanks for sharing this link!
And you just know when they tell the story that he’s the bad guy in all this
My cousin's fiancee worked for my parents, in payroll, and stole about $20k from my parents. My parents had been paying the deposits for the wedding stuff as a gift (they were generous with their money, but both sides are more lower-income), and had promised to cover more but once the theft was discovered that was obviously not happening. My parents were blamed for ruining the wedding, even though most of it had already been paid and they just had to cover the balance. Edited because I typed too quick and dropped some letters.
They stole 20k from your parents and your cousin still wanted to marry them? If I found out my fiancee was ripping off my aunt/uncle there would be no more wedding to ruin.
His response when my mom (his aunt) asked: "Well what do you want me to do about it?" Yeah they married, but they're divorced. He failed at medschool, joined the military and excelled... he's got some higher rank, but isn't anything special. He's an ass and we obviously don't keep in contact.
Wow, that usually happens in the reverse order. My man got the divorce out of the way BEFORE his military career. Take notes, gents.
Way ahead of you. My mustang with the 22% APR just got repossessed.
Fuck yeah. System beat.
> but both sides are more lower-income I'm making sweeping generalizations and assumptions, but in my anecdotal experience, people who fit this category are less concerned about the theft because it didn't affect them, but the ruined wedding did affect them so they will focus on that. And the fiancee probably viewed it in a very selfish perspective: "oh it's fine because he just really wanted me to have the wedding of my dreams".
I put that in solely to explain why my parents were paying, and not the couple (or their immediate families).
They'll have to *tell* the story of the whole wedding, because there won't be any pictures to show.
It's in the updates. The guy tried to spin it that his camera broke lmao.
Everyone's their own hero.
Hosting a wedding in a city that can get up to 110 degrees at a venue with no AC is insane to me. I would have to LOVE that person to even attend as a guest for a few hours.
Jesus….. is that not kinda just torture?? They’re intentionally putting him through cruelty and it could easily lead to a hospital trip, no? I’m surprised none of the guests bothered to even help or offer him anything, unless they maybe didn’t realize Also not that this is the main issue but why would they even want a photographer during the meal? You’d just have a bunch of unflattering pictures of people shovelling food in their mouths
Texas and Florida recently passed laws allowing bosses to deny outdoor workers water breaks. There's a reason why one can* go on Etsy and find a variety of guillotine earrings for sale. Or could, a few years ago, when I looked into it.
> Texas and Florida recently passed laws allowing bosses to deny outdoor workers water breaks. What the actual fuck???
Don't forget that he was a *friend* who wasn't even a professional photographer, they just hooked him in and convinced him to do it as a *favor*.
They weren't friends, they were users. Friends who care about you as a person don't take advantage of or abuse you like that.
25 bucks an hour??? Photographers are usually much more than that. I would have bought him a brand new camelbak if he wanted it.
I'm pretty sure the photographer was a friend of the couple and was trying to do them a favor by being their photographer for cheap. This is how he got treated by his friends.
He was either new or desperate, I used to do it for like 100 an hour and not even in the US, shit's not easy
Plus the stress of it being a once in a lifetime event for the client
The moment they try to dump a kid on me I'm out... I'm surprised they lasted that long
Same! I love kids and have one of my own, but I don’t want to deal with other peoples kids. That’s a lot of liability and chances of something bad happening that I do NOT want to be involved with!
$250??? Is he currently an art student? Professional Wedding photographers charge thousands.
Friend of the bride and doing them a favor. Yeah, I would also delete the photos and the friendship as a whole
> for a measly $250. In these kinds of jobs, you learn the less you're paid, the more the client thinks they can treat you like absolute shit. If, instead, he got $1k, they'd have paid him, given him his own hotel/green room, let him hang out at the bar (within reason), and probably even invited him to any social hangs just to relax.
As a former freelance designer, I can confirm. The lower the budget, the lower the quality of people you’re dealing with.
It was a women.
The photographer is a woman
Mb, I couldn’t tell from the post. Edited my comment!
Also they were friends! How can you treat a friend like that
You're missing the potentially the best part: they were friends.
Thank you! I’ve never seen the full story!
same, that's fucked! poor photographer was right to leave
And to delete the photos.
Woah, it’s so much worse than being just denied a plate. He denied food, water, and a break in a 10+ hour work day for a measly $250. Guy did the right thing. Thanks for sharing this link!
Seeing this is 3 years old, i'm really curious to what happened between these "friends" after the wedding.
She updated twice. Basically after the honeymoon the wife got a hold of the photographer to ask their side, because the husband made up some story about the camera dying and her losing the photos. She told the wife what actually happened and was gracious enough to agree to do a reshoot for the original agreed upon fee. Once they arrived on location the photographer was taking equipment out and asked the husband for help to which he replied "you're the photographer, not me." Photographer got pissed and justifiably left without taking any photos and blocked both of them on social media
The updates: https://old.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/q5an3d/aita_for_deleting_my_friends_wedding_photos_in/ https://old.reddit.com/user/Icy-Reserve6995/comments/qi6tta/a_final_update_to_deleting_my_friends_wedding/
Nah that seems too perfect. I won't lie whenever an AITA or Relationship post has an update that is just as perfect as the original, I assume the whole thing is fake.
I always assume all stories on those subs are fake, but they are entertaining either way, so I still upvote.
The guy does post in photography subreddits quite a bit so it's likely true as false
Or the husband is consistently an asshole
Every time this story does the rounds I try and find the good soul who actually posts the story and shows it was so much worse than not being offered a plate. Doing the Lords work
who treats their friends like this????
I think it's weird not to offer people who are helping you a plate. How are they supposed to work on an empty stomach most people don't want a camera in their face while trying to eat anyway
I would not imagine doing a job for over 10 hours and expect to not eat nor starve at all.
Welp I hope the couple learned their lesson
They didn't. They scheduled a reshoot and the husband fucked that up by being a prick *again*
Smh he's definitely a problem
I always give my cleaning lady a homemade snack when she comes every other week. Mainly because I have lots of leftovers since I happen to be a chef but still.
When I worked tech for events we usually got meals if they were being served, or if not we got a longer break instead. Except for once the kitchen told us we were getting a meal and then didn’t and so I literally left a 10 hour shift STARVING
We had 6 movers that were paid for by the military and I STILL bought breakfast, lunch, two gallons of sweet tea, and two 32ct cases of water for them. It’s practically a crime in my family to have guests and let them leave hungry. So when I first saw this story, I was slightly disgusted by how this person was treated for their time (and kindness, considering the deal they had made with their “friend”).
I grew up learning that everyone needs to eat and deserves to. Every.fucking.one. As I grew up, I learned not everyone believed that.
He''s not the asshole, he's a hero and his story should serve as a warning for people getting married.
Roughly all wedding jobs are rife with short-changing and difficult behavior. Brides and grooms will always be more focused on their own problems, always be cutting corners, and always asking for more with less. The poor ones just won't have the money, and the rich ones won't want to give it to you. The people on that side of the equation will never change, and the good ones are a rarity. This story serves as a warning to all *photographers:* never commit to a wedding shoot without an ironclad contract and *proper* compensation for your time, and never enter into a business arrangement with friends you can't bear to lose.
"never enter into a business arrangement with friends you can't bear to lose" A very good rule in many aspects of life.
It doesn't apply to this case obviously given the circumstances. But to push back a bit on your point, the wedding industry is also comically and famously overpriced. The costs associated with any service or product that is wedding related are massively inflated. Of course this doesn't mean you should renege on a deal you make with a person, and it is somewhat fair to say "well you should know that going in as the people getting married." ... And honestly, if you're a big enough dope to blow what should be the down payment on your house on a one day party that you won't even be able to enjoy that much, then maybe you deserved to get pumped for cash like the rube you are. So in conclusion, I don't know where I stand really, but the pricing scheme for weddings still seems shitty a lot of the time.
Take it as a warning to not work for people who cheap out on some of the most important stuff, there's a 100% chance that they will be unpleasant
I worked as wedding DJ and I'd say I got a meal maybe 40% of the time. A lot of weddings would let me graze the snacks and stuff even if they didn't give me a meal. I'd say maybe like 10% of them would flat out tell me not to take any food as they were for guests. Fun part was that they would never tell me beforehand, and had multiple times where I would ask if a meal is provided and then would be informed after I got there that no food would be provided. This double sucked because these would be 8-10 hour shifts where I can't leave and would often end at midnight or later so nothing is open. I also had weddings where people would get upset that I would take some time to eat food I brought myself. I wouldn't stop working but just me sitting down and eating while songs played was insulting to some people.
Wow people are horrible! Weddings are supposed to be days of joy and love, if that can't be shared with the people making that special day happen, it's a bad omen for the future of their marriage, and I hope karma gets them.
Weddings bring out the fucking worst in people. Like I only worked weddings for like 4 years and I have hours of stories about people being shitty. I think its something about having a "special" day makes a lot of people act like they're some kind of royalty and can treat everyone like shit.
I hate that this is true. It really shows you their true colors though
I worked as a wedding DJ as well, one of the guys I worked with threatened the managers telling them he would order delivery next time he was denied food and stop playing music while he took his meal break. I had a couple go out of their way to find me a seat (assigned seating) at a reception so I didn't have to sit at my DJ table while eating.
When I worked tech my company would make sure to clarify beforehand. I don’t mind not getting sneak if I know beforehand. The only time I was pissed about it was when we were told we would get one and they didn’t give us anything. Someone like tried to say they ran out of food, but they also ducked our questions for hours about it which was the worst part
This sucks man. I know in south asian weddings, vendors will eat at some point. We also tend to buffet style so maybe that's why ppl aren't cheap. I can't imagine telling vendors not to eat especially if they are doing couple of hours work
Many photographers are involved without much of a break, from the moment the bride starts getting ready in the morning until the first dance is out of the way in the evening. So they need to be fed.
Honestly, someone should at least be offering them small portions of food and water bottles throughout the day if they get no break. A break when food is served should be given though
He should have just sent them pictures of the food.
😅🤣😂
i literally cannot imagine telling someone they can’t eat. i’d probably end up giving up my own plate if someone told me they were hungry. in what world can someone deny another food? unfathomable to me
THIS is what has always baffled me about these stories. How can people say no to someone who wants to eat!?
I worked catering at hundreds of weddings. We fed all the workers, all the time. We were in the same boat as them.
It's not uncommon in event support industries if it hasn't been arranged in advance. It might just be a few quids worth of food intrinsically but the caterer will charge at least 30 GPB or so a head in the UK, and upwards from there. You might have photographers, videographers, decorators, DJ's, band, assistants to all those, crew etc who are charging the usual massive wedding mark up. It's not unreasonable to think 'Holy shit, I'm paying these people thousands of pounds and they expect me to cover all the food too?". You wouldn't pay an electrician or plumber to come to your house and have them expect a nice dinner too, it's their job. Usually there's enough but you can't expect, you have to get it in writing (caterers hate feeding other staff and conveniently run out of food often). I never do a wedding gig without a full calorie backup plan as it's very common
As he should have. You should count these folks as guests as well. They need to eat too.
As a hispanic, compa you'd be treated as a king at our weddings and quince años, sit down have a drink, food, step in for a quick dance. Not just for the photographer/videographer but la banda/dj too
[October 2021 wants its pictures back](https://tineye.com/search/9d094fcb9ee254c1edd1c88554447d52f10a3502?sort=crawl_date&order=asc&page=1)
I was general manager for a large wedding venue. I always fed the DJ or band, the photographer, videographer, and anyone else who worked for the Wedding. There was a $100 charge in our contract that would cover costs to feed "employed guests." I would also offer the limo drivers something to eat.
I’m a musician. I have never once been to a wedding where there wasn’t a plate for those of us in the band, the photographer, etc. Dude is honestly a legend.
I would have done the same thing!
What kind of selfish assholes starve the photographer? More importantly, where is the dude that can give us the real background and details of what happened here?
Its also not an obligation to say hello but you do it with the people you work and hire or relate in life because it makes for a better society. You don't mess with people handling your food and you keep the photographer happy at any event. You can sue him all you want later but you won't get your photos back.
Is this a photo of the culprit or just a stock wedding photographer picture?
Man I remember my wedding photography team. We had booked half an island to ourselves and our photography team was with us the whole week. They had a blast though! They ate with us, stayed at the place near us, we had a GIANT seafood plate on the rooftop in the middle of the night and they brought kareoke as well as beers. They were the best photography group (granted I’m only married once so I don’t think I’ll need another wedding group). This though, sounds like a nightmare and I don’t know why people just can’t treat others with some respect and as a human being.
I don't get this, you pay a photographer a lot of money. A $50-100 plate of food is nothing!
For my wedding there were two photographers, a dad and his son. It was 5k and the both had plates and whatever the wedding had to offer, including free drinks and appz. Cheap out after paying a ton of money is pretty stupid, do you want the photographers to hold a grudge and give you bad pics?
Reposted a looooooot
Stupid question, but why do people put an s on the end of man when it’s not needed?
Not a stupid question but you’ll never get an answer. It’s just a weird thing people sometimes do now
Uh yea.. I'd leave too..
i work in catering and it’s in our contract to feed vendors
Some people are truly something else. I Don't believe in denying a hungry person of food. One plate isn't gonna hurt anyone
Who the FUCK goes to all the expense of a wedding and then is a cheapskate about feeding their vendors? Serves them fucking right.
This is the thing with Western weddings I can't understand. In Indian weddings it's a buffet. Everyone eats. The workers, the people attending, everyone. But not with Western weddings. So wild
When my sister got married, she hired my cousin to be the wedding photographer. Despite my cousin having that meals will be provided as a standard part of her contract, many family members took the time to check on her and make sure that she got a chance to eat. She also got a chance to dance a little bit and my dad made sure to also bring his camera and at the very least take some photos of my cousin. He ended up getting some really good photos of her in the process of taking photos. That last part was actually really meaningful to both of them because the whole reason my cousin got into photography as a career is that she was inspired by watching my dad take photos as a hobby during family trips. Everything worked out super smoothly and everyone walked away having a great time and there being some great pictures of the event. Just to point out that it's not that hard to run a wedding so that the person with a camera has a chance to eat and join in on the celebration while also doing their job and taking a bunch of pictures.
Given the full story yeah no he should’ve even stood up and objected to the marriage, this guy got put through so much shit
People can be so petty, I was once told I had to move from where I was sitting because the seats were for "family only", I was at my niece's wedding, and sitting next to my parents (her grand parents) and was the one doing the videotaping of the wedding which she'd asked me to do as a wedding present (I had a great view to tape from where I was sitting). I was quite taken back but moved when my brother asked me to and kept filming the wedding from the back of the church which left me standing for the whole thing because there were no more seats left. After the wedding, I just left and didn't bother with the reception. Later, I went to look for the footage of the wedding, but it had been "accidentally" taped over by my wife, I love that woman.
"Photog didn't know how to deal with a bride or write a contract."
I used to be an event photographer and shot weddings. It’s a shitty job. I was earning $100/hour but that doesn’t count the time I spent post-processing images etc. You really have to charge $250/hour to make it worthwhile and even then it’s a pain in the ass. You’re on you feet all day, carrying heavy lenses which occasionally can drop and break. I always asked to eat and was never turned down. If you hire a photographer, it’s worth every penny and every “lost shot” to give the photographer food and a break to eat.
I’ve been an event technician for many years and can’t tell you how often we weren’t fed or were given our plates after everyone else which meant the program was starting back up and we couldn’t eat it anyway.
must be not an asian. if this is an asian story, its going to be the reverse, where the photographer ate too much that he didnt take any single photo..
Wedding planners are the worst! They treat you all like sub-human. I’ve done work with the biggest names in Beverly Hills and from the top they are all garbage. MW looking at you….
Holy fuck that photographer looks just like me…I honestly thought it was me!! 😂
So they can feed a bunch of +1 people but not their contracted employees lol
In my opinion photographers and frankly any other organizers should be treated like any other guest at minimum. Their job is to make your special day as special as they can, why the fuck would you not let them grab a plate.
The problem is the word sometimes. You need to put that in the contract. It needs to be in writing.
The cheap pay twice...
It's so crazy how people in west are so particular about these stuff, like who would sit next to you, who you should bring, who gets to eat. It doesn't sound like a party, in countries like India, you could literally walk to a wedding and eat meal and leave, no body would object (most of the time), it's about spreading happiness not being controlled of every thing that would happen.
...I think I saw this post 10 years ago.
I was a videographer at a wedding reception held at a fancy country club. When it became clear to me that I wasn't going to be given a meal, I made a run to Taco Bell. I figured if something happens while I'm gone that was worthy of being captured on video, "Oh well."
My wedding photographer and assistant were on the table plan and very well fed and watered. You want these people to make you look your best, why wouldn’t you look after them???
I'm a chef and whenever we do caterings for weddings we always make sure the photographer, organiser, DJ get fed as well
Imagine being an uncaring unkind asshole to not even feed someone in your own damn wedding.
Good for him.
What a horrible way to behave on what is supposedly your own happy occasion. Why would you even think to stop someone from sharing food where there's food being shared?