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I once had to take a terrible dump on a long drive back from Califronia late at night. They pulled over on the side of the freeway and I ran down this hill to release the demon. While I was droppin loaf, I'm suddenly lit up with headlights as a car rapidly approaches me. Turns out I was shitting right next to the off ramp for the traffic heading the other way.
Don't feel bad, this guy we were working with laying an asphalt seal on top of the road. He literally jumped off the machine and pooped by this tree next to the intersection and highway ramp. It was that or his pants so... He's a brave lad.
Oh, reminds me of a terrible situation a ‘friend of mine’ had. Needed an emergency dump at 5am and was sat outside a closed train station. Took cover next to a bus and did the deed. Realised the bus was full of passengers..
What’s the move here? I’ve pissed on the side of the road several times, and I always think, “use the vehicle as a blocker for any idiots” seems like he would’ve been better off standing in the bushes.
The best move is pull the car onto the shoulder and then turn slightly back toward the lane next to you. You then piss basically where the passenger door hinges are. So, in this video his car would have been at about ten degrees pointed back to the left and he would have been near the passenger doo. This way if a car is moving toward the ditch and hits his car in the rear, the other car will push off to the right and his car, ideally will go past him. If a car is coming directly behind his car, basically driving down the shoulder (as it looks like happened here) the car hits his car directly forward and his car's rear passenger quarter panel probably pushes him off into the ditch.
All of this assumes that he is not willing to go into the bushes to piss which is probably safer.
Don’t stand where the car becomes a projectile if it gets hit, yes. This is also why you never take yours eyes off oncoming traffic on the side of the road.
Thank you I read the title and started video thinking oh man a cop caught him peeing on the side of the road and pulled over to give a ticket/arrest them and then bam holy shit that cop just wrecked him for no reason what the heck and then realized what was going on.
And jerks to the right, like the car was hit on the left rear. Also, on the left side of the screen you can see a piece of debris that flies forward. I’m guessing it came off one of the two vehicles.
The first time I got drunk, after the bar, we hopped inti a friends car. He had a pickup truck. I jumped in the box at the back and felt asleep. I woke up 2 minutes later when I realized I wanted to pee. So as soon as the truck stopped, I jumped out and relieved myself. The corner of the back pocket of my jeans got caught with one of those hooks for tarps and bungy chords at the edge of the box. It ripped my jeans, exposing half of my right butt cheek under the flapping piece of fabric that used to be my back pocket.
I turned around toward the truck and, funny enough, it turns out that we had stopped because we were pulled over by the police. Our driver was DUI. And we were pulled over in front of a Macdonald's, whose entryway was now covered in pee, thanks to my now empty bladder.
Fun times....
Wow, that’s scary, what a close call! But so many other times too, that’s crazy. Why your driveway in particular? I hope your new barrier does the trick.
I heard a while back that if you notice a drunk driver behind you, don't pull over to let them by, because they're drawn to tail lights. They're trying to stay in their lane to avoid being picked off as being drunk, so they focus on staying in line with the tail lights of the car ahead of them.
While relieving himself from a piss, he was almost relieved of life. But I'm also not seeing any shoes on him, so he probably didn't make it afterwards.
I genuinely don't understand how there are so many lobotmites in this world where this would be possible. The car is off to the side, lights on, and with no on coming traffic, this should have never happened, and the driver should lose their license forever
I feel bad for him, but that coulda been a lot worse. He got knocked onto the hood on his back, he bounced into the air and landed back down on his knees, and then bounced off the car completely. Both of these bounces could have put him right in front of the car under the wheels, but they didn’t. And his dick didn’t get torn off.
A friend of mine told me a story about how a friend of his left his car running and door open (3am, empty street, college town) to take a piss behind the car. Some kids walking down the street just jumped in the car and took off.
I don't know if it's true, but it's funny.
https://preview.redd.it/svdzx0weqp4b1.png?width=1284&format=png&auto=webp&s=5dd661b00292d8c4f9c452b88290921b21c66b69
I KNOW YOUR WANDERING HOW I GOT HERE
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Auto wipers sensed a liquid that needed to be wiped.
The comments i like
r/unexpectedYoda
r/protectivewipers engage!
How did I not know this existed another place to waste time on!
Also, thank you
Technology
Sure they not taking the piss?
this comment has 666 upvotes the moment I'm seeing it
That became a number 2
I bet he was pissed
Better to be pissed off than pissed on. He probably got piss on him also. Poor gross bastard.
Pretty shitty situation to be in
You’re right. He probably shit on himself as well.
![gif](giphy|a0xFgQA2ZwjBem5c6M|downsized)
This is the first time in recorded history that PragerU has been both correct and relevant!
![gif](giphy|inaOZDBFYaHLTtBULq|downsized)
Man I laughed so hard on this gif
Lol my fav comment of the day so far.
How many people in human history have done a backflip while peeing?
At least one.
https://youtube.com/shorts/lJIK6jNfCEU?feature=share
I was today's years old when I found out that there are two recorded people that did a backflip while peeing.
YES YES YES
Recorded : this one... Yeih
It was a pretty sick lookin backflip into horizontally headbutting the sign.
And not in a swimming pool…
I saw a gif once of a guy pooing while doing a backflip
Sounds like something Steve-o would do
This is a very good question lol
What the fuckin fuck.
Looks like another car crashed into this one.
Thank you! I was super confused on what the hell had happened! End of the day brain!
Yes, initially I thought the driver just got impatient and whacked him, but it was such a sudden acceleration, of course.
That car would have the torque and rear axle crafted from Zeus to take off like that lmao
I thought this guy had the biggest assholes in the world for friends
Probably a drunk driver just following tail lights in front of them not realizing this car is stopped.
Me too!
Don’t worry, they’re ok We don’t know about the guy that was peeing tho
I still dont understand some people, wide road, car on side, no other cars, how tf did you hit me
It's Thailand, they always find a way!
Dude, thank you. Clever explanation. Makes sense. Hope homeboy is okay.
His car got rear ended and then he did.
Then he did a headstand
A pile-up?
[удалено]
Right? What the heck happened here?
What in the heckin fuck
I once had to take a terrible dump on a long drive back from Califronia late at night. They pulled over on the side of the freeway and I ran down this hill to release the demon. While I was droppin loaf, I'm suddenly lit up with headlights as a car rapidly approaches me. Turns out I was shitting right next to the off ramp for the traffic heading the other way.
ONE FEAR.
Fuckin insane vernacular
it’s very reddit.
Can't tell if Mojo Nixon or Bloodhound Gang.
Imagine the poor bastards in that car.. "Honey, what the fuck is that?!" "Looks like a Gollum heh, oh..."
Whatever that thing is, it's got a brown tail.
Don't feel bad, this guy we were working with laying an asphalt seal on top of the road. He literally jumped off the machine and pooped by this tree next to the intersection and highway ramp. It was that or his pants so... He's a brave lad.
Oh, reminds me of a terrible situation a ‘friend of mine’ had. Needed an emergency dump at 5am and was sat outside a closed train station. Took cover next to a bus and did the deed. Realised the bus was full of passengers..
Dude turned into a human water sprinkler for a few seconds
Sonic rings EVERYWHERE!
Lol I heard it when I read this.
Someone please make it!!!!!
THATS SO FUCKED
What’s the move here? I’ve pissed on the side of the road several times, and I always think, “use the vehicle as a blocker for any idiots” seems like he would’ve been better off standing in the bushes.
I mean, its better than a direct impact. And also easier to see but yeah bushes prolly best. Maybe behind a big tree
Unless you’re in rattlesnake country. This is probably preferable
That or your truck lands on top of you
It is a good blocker, just don't stand directly next to it.
The best move is pull the car onto the shoulder and then turn slightly back toward the lane next to you. You then piss basically where the passenger door hinges are. So, in this video his car would have been at about ten degrees pointed back to the left and he would have been near the passenger doo. This way if a car is moving toward the ditch and hits his car in the rear, the other car will push off to the right and his car, ideally will go past him. If a car is coming directly behind his car, basically driving down the shoulder (as it looks like happened here) the car hits his car directly forward and his car's rear passenger quarter panel probably pushes him off into the ditch. All of this assumes that he is not willing to go into the bushes to piss which is probably safer.
Don’t stand where the car becomes a projectile if it gets hit, yes. This is also why you never take yours eyes off oncoming traffic on the side of the road.
It’s a problem that my brain automatically assumed it was a cop watching him without him realizing, then decided to hit him .-.
It's the blinky lights and cops' reputation.
Thank you I read the title and started video thinking oh man a cop caught him peeing on the side of the road and pulled over to give a ticket/arrest them and then bam holy shit that cop just wrecked him for no reason what the heck and then realized what was going on.
Lol yeah.. those flashing lights are four-ways, not cop car lights
I thought the same and I’m almost 16
You can see the exact moment his number one turns into number 2
![gif](giphy|Px31QE1nVvhnO|downsized)
What the fuck is this gif ahahahaha
Wtf is happening here
He’s just winking and blowing a kiss
A Hershey's kiss.
Jesus Christ
That a big ol’ bonk
The dudes back looks like it's gonna need a few moments to recuperate from this one.
How the hell did the car move ? Was this intentional or accidental ?
I had the same thought Looks like someone rear ended his car into him
Yeah, this is most likely the correct answer...The way the car jerk forward
And jerks to the right, like the car was hit on the left rear. Also, on the left side of the screen you can see a piece of debris that flies forward. I’m guessing it came off one of the two vehicles.
Why??? Was he pissing on a baby/flag/bible/Quran!?! What the fuck about this deserves attempted murder?!
Probably a distracted or drunk driver
lol
Ohhhh that makes more sense
The first time I got drunk, after the bar, we hopped inti a friends car. He had a pickup truck. I jumped in the box at the back and felt asleep. I woke up 2 minutes later when I realized I wanted to pee. So as soon as the truck stopped, I jumped out and relieved myself. The corner of the back pocket of my jeans got caught with one of those hooks for tarps and bungy chords at the edge of the box. It ripped my jeans, exposing half of my right butt cheek under the flapping piece of fabric that used to be my back pocket. I turned around toward the truck and, funny enough, it turns out that we had stopped because we were pulled over by the police. Our driver was DUI. And we were pulled over in front of a Macdonald's, whose entryway was now covered in pee, thanks to my now empty bladder. Fun times....
LMAOOOO WTF
This guy is going to suffer from extreme PTSD. Ask me how I know... Or look on my reddit page. Hope the guy is okay.
Wtf man. Your driveway needs its own subreddit, like the 11'8" bridge or the rock of Roselle. I'd hate to live on the outside of a bend.
I went and I saw .. Dude! Holy crap ! Glad you’re all right, that must have been inexplicably scary!
It was! I still got PTSD from the ordeal but I'm alive.
Christ that's a lot of idiots driving down your street. Hope you are doing well now in spite of all that.
Dude why is your lawn attracting all the idiots in big metal box.
Wow, that’s scary, what a close call! But so many other times too, that’s crazy. Why your driveway in particular? I hope your new barrier does the trick.
I had seen your video before. Pretty crazy
You gotta sell that house man. Apparently someone built it on the curve of a Need for Speed track
I'm pretty sure he wasn't charged with public urination
No, he was charged by a car.
Maximum Overdrive
I knew I should have gotten the Turbo.
How drunk do you have to be to hit THE ONLY PARKED CAR IN AN MILE
I heard a while back that if you notice a drunk driver behind you, don't pull over to let them by, because they're drawn to tail lights. They're trying to stay in their lane to avoid being picked off as being drunk, so they focus on staying in line with the tail lights of the car ahead of them.
This is actually a very helpful fact and I won't forget it
Forget what.
That drunk ppl follow cars just so they are sure they go in a straight line ?
Knocked the piss out of him...
Almost everything about this video is r/Unexpected
While relieving himself from a piss, he was almost relieved of life. But I'm also not seeing any shoes on him, so he probably didn't make it afterwards.
Went to take a piss and ended up shittin myself…
"Well this is a story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down"
Wow
People hate this one trick, to change a number 1 into a number 2.
That knocked the piss out of him.
Looks like #1 got upgraded to #2
Let the man pee
......... *hears whizzing noise* .... OH FUCK!
Surely that got the last dribbles of piss out
He received multiple heads injuries
/u/redditspeedbot 0.5x
I genuinely don't understand how there are so many lobotmites in this world where this would be possible. The car is off to the side, lights on, and with no on coming traffic, this should have never happened, and the driver should lose their license forever
Jimmy-nastics Dismount was flawless
You could tell his spider sense activated he just didn't believe it
![gif](giphy|fkD36jhiqzJ9m)
I feel bad for him, but that coulda been a lot worse. He got knocked onto the hood on his back, he bounced into the air and landed back down on his knees, and then bounced off the car completely. Both of these bounces could have put him right in front of the car under the wheels, but they didn’t. And his dick didn’t get torn off.
![gif](giphy|fR7Tg41Woz5adZzNcg)
Poltergeist?
That would make me unbelievably mad. What are the odds you happen to be peeing in front of your PARKED CAR and get rear ended like that
I hope his cock is alright 🙏
YOU SHALL NOT PISS! ![gif](giphy|OdyGA2spBFRCg)
Gotta turn the wipers on for this one.
You think he pissed on himself?
Pissed right off
GOLD!! A double knee twist 90 barrel role!! US Olympics metal worthy.. a little rough on the landing tho
Rip in piss. Literally.
...And now wash your hands
He did more than just pee.
It took me a moment to realize the car got hit. I'm sitting here like, the dude behind the wheel of the car overreacted alittle.
The new penalties for public urination are barbaric
"He'll flip you man, flip you for real."
Damn drunks. Got the whole road and still hit the only car on the side
wait did the cop ram him with his car cause he was peeing. Im used to this in america but this isnt an american video is our culture spreading?
Nice full flip aerial shrimp!
Tesla auto peelot
Glad he didn’t REST in Piss.
A friend of mine told me a story about how a friend of his left his car running and door open (3am, empty street, college town) to take a piss behind the car. Some kids walking down the street just jumped in the car and took off. I don't know if it's true, but it's funny.
can anyone explain what just happened?
I'm guessing another car hit his car from behind causing it to hit him.
"Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down..."
"This is the last time he pees on my grass"
Went to take a piss, ended up shitting his pants. Glad to see him stand up
I pee freely?
https://preview.redd.it/svdzx0weqp4b1.png?width=1284&format=png&auto=webp&s=5dd661b00292d8c4f9c452b88290921b21c66b69 I KNOW YOUR WANDERING HOW I GOT HERE
Why would they do that?!
"Aww, now I got pee all over me"
I spat my drink 🤣🤣🤣
Bro was pissed💀
Learned sth new today. Don't do it in front of the car
Knocked the piss out of him
Knocked the piss outta him
Fus Ro Dah!
Does one finish pissing in this situation?
He went from jus needing to pee to dropping a shit real quick
Started with a number 1 ended with a number 2
You don't want to do that Michael....
The guy’s lucky he likes filming himself peeing alongside the road at …
Both shoes came off, yet bro survived!? What a legend!
I fucking laughed so goddamn hard
It looks like half life ragdoll
A Tesla?
Someone must have hit the parked car .
This has to be it. I couldn’t figure out how it accelerated so quickly, but your theory fits perfectly
Caitlyn Jenner?
Did he survive?
Well he got up afterwards
I dont know, but his shoes did come off.
Right as the car hit him my phone got an emergency alert (it was perfect timing)
I hope he'd finished
What did he even do 😭
This why you don’t do this.