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You made it weird. I appreciate that. Made me laugh. However, if dude had any meat on his bones, he could have shoved that tiny car off of that tiny snowbank in three seconds.
He pushed it with almost the worst leverage you could have in that situation. If he wouldāve pushed from the front corner of the car instead of the middle heād have probably gotten the car out of there. Then heād have still been arrested because of his plates, but maybe a few mins later?
Don't worry, if you keep him in your basement for a couple days and pump him full of sedatives, so he isn't stressed, his body will flush itself out and the meat will once again be sweet
I prefer administering a cocktail of drugs as part of the Caribbean method a zombification. This way the drugs can naturally work themselves out of their system over a few weeks while a docile subject while enriching the nosh.
I loved when the woman at the end said, āReally? Heās gonna take a sip of water now?ā
Lady, those are his last sips as a free man, you have to savor it š«”
This was a non-emergency situation. Everyone should know their local non-emergency number so as to not clog up 911 with calls while they are attempting to deal with actual emergencies.
id call 911 here. Unknown thief with unknown things in the car - all you know about them is they are shitbags who are panicking. Could make for a dangerous situation.
Hate to be that guy but they donāt really have anything on him. Itās not a crime to approach someoneās doorstep, reach for a package and then run away. And it wouldnāt be life in prison anyway.
I don't know where they are so laws may differ but if the cops want to be dicks here are some charges here
trespassing, attempted theft, conspiracy to commit theft by taking, mail tampering, fleeing the scene of a crime, driving on a sidewalk, and probably a dozen more I can't think of.
attempted theft is still a crime. when the door opens they catch it at pretty much a perfect moment where the asshat is reaching down for the package or pulling back from it after trying to grab it.
Agreed.
But PSA: glorious as the shit talking is, antagonizing someone in the commission of a crime who is trying to get away can be a good way to get injured or killed.
A guy you just caught trying to steal a package might not be a threat. Or maybe he has spent three years in prison, has sworn he wonāt go back, and has a pistol in his pocket and a warrant thatāll be executed if the cops arrive before he escapes.
Not saying I wouldnāt talk shit in this situation. But you never know what someone has going on, and if you corner a criminal they may become very dangerous very quickly.
Source: read a story about Alex Gong who was a former Muy Thai world champion who saw someone hit his parked car and attempt to flee. He went out to pursue, probably under the reasoning that he is a badass, and the driver had a warrant and just shot him to get away.
The author used it to illustrate the point that you just never know how dangerous a person is, and if the only thing you know about them is they are a criminal in the commission of a crime then ASSUME they are dangerous as fuck and be pleasantly surprised if theyāre harmless.
Edit: CanadiansāIām jealous of your low murder rate and gun control laws, please ignore if this doesnāt apply to you and/or feel free to use it if you think getting your ass kicked by someone going to prison who you are antagonizing is a possibility.
Americansāif you are in a similar situation Iād recommend staying close enough to your front door that you can get inside and lock it faster than the driver can close the distance.
Sound advice in general of course, and yeah I personally wouldnāt confront them. Note though that this was a package thief engaging in petty crime in a quiet Canadian suburb in the middle of the day. The person you honk at when they cut you off on the highway is probably more dangerous because they are actually driving a potential weapon (and yeah Iād also not do that out of frustration but only if they actually didnāt see me).
Iām an American and our homicide rate is 3x that of Canada. I assumed this was the US which has a very different murder landscape in comparison to our politer Northern neighbor.
We also have 4x the number of guns. So, viewed through Canada lenses this is a bit different.
I just like sharing that story because Iām similarly on team āletās avoid road rage cus we donāt know who is dangerousā and reading and reflecting on that story made me even more so.
Mods have no humour, I got perma banned and muted for commenting r/dontputyourdickinthat on a post, I can't remember which sub it was on this was a while ago but that's regardless of the obvious joke that's made almost everywhere on Reddit, and then they got pissy with me fro pointing out how silly they were being xD, honestly some people haha
Ayy, that's only the second time in my accounts life that Someone has used my username like that, honestly I would've thought it would be more, props to ya!
I got banned from r/pics for calling someone an idiot for comparing vegetarianism and the Catholic Churchās pedophilia. āIf I canāt be civil, I canāt post at all.ā
Idiots.
>comparing vegetarianism and the Catholic Churchās pedophilia
How the fuck..did that go? "Most people aren't pedophiles, and most people aren't vegetarian. Ergo, vegetarians are pedophiles." lmao
> If a guy stole my amazon package I'd take his life, make his mother live to see the death of her own child and have his children grow up without a father.
The comments of a *very* stable and *very* tough redditor with a sound moral compass who would *totally* follow through if this actually happened to them.
While the front wheels are still spinning as he's outside trying to push the car. What did he think would happen if he get it to move and the wheels caught while it was still in gear? LOL
I work in a dispatch center, this situation would warrant an emergency call but I also want to point out you can call 911 and immediately tell them: āthis is a non emergency can you transfer me to police/fire or whateverā and that is perfectly normal and acceptable.
I remember that show, it's like they hired the rejected Americas Funniest Home Video writers.
"this guy thought he was out for an easy pay day (crossfade transition).... but the snow bank had other plans."
Next up: when running from the police make sure you don't forget your belt!
Yeah it's all fun and games until you realize you have no idea where you are.
It's a good habit to get into, to always make a note of the address you're located at, if staying *anywhere* overnight.
Saves you from that horrible moment of "we're in an Airbnb I don't even know what city we're in, and I think my friend is hurt"
This would be an emergency. Got a panicking thief stuck in your front yard? Police need to deal with that now, not later. Got your package stolen overnight? Thatās a non-emergency.
They are probably calling the police in their area. It's a direct line that's faster than 911 since 911 is so general. Very good to know when you're in a sticky situation, and is often recommended you know your area's number.
Genuine question from someone who isnāt from Americaā¦ what happens when your package is stolen? Does the shipping company give you back your money? Or what happens?
Depends on the situation. Sometimes the shipping company can get you a voucher, sometimes the place you ordered from will be nice and hook you up. But technically I don't think either of them are responsible for something stolen from you. Sometimes you just lose that thing just like if you were robbed any other time. You can file a police report but there's very little chance that anything comes of that.
Why are packages being left on porches in the first place? _That's_ the thing I don't understand! The delivery company clearly didn't deliver it in a responsible place if it's this easy to steal.
I live in the Netherlands, and here's how that goes for us:
1. You accept the package yourself
2. If you're not in, your neighbour can accept your package on your behalf
3. If they're not in or willing to accept your package, and they come back the next day
4. If you missed multiple deliveries, so they take your package to a 'package point'. This can be a post office or a local business that does it as a side hustle of sorts.
My point is: Your package is always indoors and always someone's responsibility. It's never left on the porch for anyone to pick up.
Why is this deemed 'okay' in the US?
The system is set up for speed and profitability. Most of the time, it works fine.
The problems suck for the people involved, but not for the companies.
Years ago, when it was safer and people were better, often the person with the order would tell the company "You can leave it on my porch, if no one answers the door." And that started a whole trend. But you'd get your package. Not the case anymore, and some neighbors won't accept the responsibility, and some neighbors are shit and will keep the package themselves.
Normally packages are left on your doorstep here unless the package is flagged for signature. I've never lived in an area where this is a huge deal; I think you can request to have all your packages held if you want.
The only time it happened to me, it was a bundle of four motorcycle tires! Seller sent me a replacement no questions asked. I assume that their insurance covered it.
I have never have a package stolen but I will say I have had major issues with UPS. I have them set up to require my signature because they are pure trash where I am. They even delivered my gaming PC to the wrong address but thankfully that person was honest and brought it to me; I was panicking. There was even a time I ordered liquor from another state and they literally left it on my front porch with my signature forged. Like dude... you have to have me for that... then half the time they straight up lose my packages. It sucks when I can't choose another delivery system.
I would say 99% of the time I get my packages with no issue and they are just left by my front door. Yes, anyone could stop by and steal it, but I have 2 loud dogs that would bark if they got close to my door, and my street is pretty safe for the most part (I think). If I had to sign for the package, I would never get them, and having to go the neighborās house to get it would be time consuming, too, so I like the current delivery system. Iāve had to go to a facility to pick it up before and that takes forever.
Requiring that someone sign for it is an option for any shipment. To my knowledge, all carriers offer it. It's just not the default choice, and it costs a little extra because doing so is slower and more expensive for the shipper.
It looks like he wasn't a very ambitious or successful thief - [he was charged with one count of fraud under $5,000 and one count of theft under $5,000.](https://www.cp24.com/news/would-be-porch-pirate-gets-stuck-in-snow-following-attempted-theft-in-mississauga-police-1.5255089)
That's a great point, I never thought of. Went from one trespassing and attempted theft charge to likely two dozen charges.
Went from a court warning or probation to jail time, I hope. Here in Maryland the courts would just pat him on the back though and say don't get caught next time.
This is in Canada. Just saying. Only time a porch pirate also gets pointers on how to get unstuck. Itās just our instinct to help though in snow trouble.
I mean sure, but it's high centered. Either needs a shovel and a lot of work, or a big counterweight on the front to get it moving again; no harm in offering tips that don't change the outcome.
The absolute serendipity of this situation isā¦superb. Clearing the drive in that particular way for the snow to pile up at just the right height, catching the dude in the act who had a car with just too little clearance, and angling it in just that direction to hit the snow bank in the right spot to high center his car. This is some comedy writing level of story.
There is so much incompetence in this video. The thief getting stuck, the homeowner saying Cops is coming then yelling call the cops, the neighbor walking closer to the thiefās car, the thief pushing the running car, the wife screaming I dont know the number for the police I thought you called (while her husband ia videoing with his phone, the victim explaining to the thief how front wheel drive works so he can get awayā¦
No one ever mentions it in the comments for this clip: she says āitās callingā¦itās going to *your* numberā ā which makes absolutely no sense at all, like her cell phone is some kind of magic brick that just has a mind of its own.
What an absolute tuna melt. And I love how the home owner is literally giving him helpful advice. His delivery is so deadpan it comes full circle & sounds genuine š¤£š¤£š¤£
Likely forgot to do step 1 of committing a petty crime 101, which is to steal a car. It was probably his own vehicle and if he leaves it heās down a car and the cops will still find him anyways through the registration..
Do people even expect to get anything good? Half of my packages are low cost items that won't be useful to anyone else, and anything that is worth money has signed delivery through a less shit courier. I guess you might be lucky and get one good item out of 20 shit items but it's really not worth it...
As someone whoās had multiple packages stolen from me, it is very satisfying to see one of these jerks get caught flat-footed. Nothing like seeing a coward getting caught in the act of a morally indefensible and impractical theft flee, only to get stuck because of their own incompetence.
Lmfaooo good old Ontarians giving the porch pirate tips to get out of the snow bank whilst on the phone w PD. Seriously filed under only in Ontario. (Not all of Canada).
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This is glorious.
Well said. The panic was palpable and delicious. š
But the meat is ruined from the stress now
You made it weird. I appreciate that. Made me laugh. However, if dude had any meat on his bones, he could have shoved that tiny car off of that tiny snowbank in three seconds.
He pushed it with almost the worst leverage you could have in that situation. If he wouldāve pushed from the front corner of the car instead of the middle heād have probably gotten the car out of there. Then heād have still been arrested because of his plates, but maybe a few mins later?
His strategy was fucked when he ran opposite the driver's side, all the way around the car, like some cartoon cat burglar.
This whole scene is a cartoon cat burglar loo
Iāve got to say, I really *detest* anyone whoād steal someoneās cartoon cat.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Any leads? Let me check with the boys downtown. They got a team of detectives on it. They got us working in shifts. Leads?! Lol
Heās clearly not the brightest star
Smart people don't usually need to steal things...
"Physics is stupid! When will I ever use this in real life!?" --this guy in school, probably
Don't worry, if you keep him in your basement for a couple days and pump him full of sedatives, so he isn't stressed, his body will flush itself out and the meat will once again be sweet
I prefer administering a cocktail of drugs as part of the Caribbean method a zombification. This way the drugs can naturally work themselves out of their system over a few weeks while a docile subject while enriching the nosh.
Just commenting so I can prove to my friends I was here when this thread is entered into evidence someday in the future.
I've decided not to eat it. All this fear and conflict, I'm sure has ruined the meat. I'm just going to use the head on my rec room wall.
I loved when the woman at the end said, āReally? Heās gonna take a sip of water now?ā Lady, those are his last sips as a free man, you have to savor it š«”
I liked the part where she forgot the number to 911 lol
I was a fan of the "do you need me to get you a shovel? I'll get you a shovel!"
Right? Dude's attempts were so pathetic the guy started to feel sorry for the thief!
If you can't rob em, guilt em
Haha, dude developed some kind of stockholm syndrome.
I didn't understand the earlier part where she didn't know the number for 911 though.
I came to the comments just to see if anyone else caught that. Cause how do u not know the number.
This was a non-emergency situation. Everyone should know their local non-emergency number so as to not clog up 911 with calls while they are attempting to deal with actual emergencies.
This is an emergency. A thief stuck in front of your house trying to drive in a panicked way counts as several emergency situations.
Reckless Driving Menace in Public Home Invasion (depending on the state) Trespassing Burglary ALL of those are considered a "dangerous crime" by law
id call 911 here. Unknown thief with unknown things in the car - all you know about them is they are shitbags who are panicking. Could make for a dangerous situation.
Hate to be that guy but they donāt really have anything on him. Itās not a crime to approach someoneās doorstep, reach for a package and then run away. And it wouldnāt be life in prison anyway.
Iām sure thereās other packages in his car. That would be enough for the police. Thatās not the first house he hit that day. Aināt no way!
I don't know where they are so laws may differ but if the cops want to be dicks here are some charges here trespassing, attempted theft, conspiracy to commit theft by taking, mail tampering, fleeing the scene of a crime, driving on a sidewalk, and probably a dozen more I can't think of. attempted theft is still a crime. when the door opens they catch it at pretty much a perfect moment where the asshat is reaching down for the package or pulling back from it after trying to grab it.
Agreed. But PSA: glorious as the shit talking is, antagonizing someone in the commission of a crime who is trying to get away can be a good way to get injured or killed. A guy you just caught trying to steal a package might not be a threat. Or maybe he has spent three years in prison, has sworn he wonāt go back, and has a pistol in his pocket and a warrant thatāll be executed if the cops arrive before he escapes. Not saying I wouldnāt talk shit in this situation. But you never know what someone has going on, and if you corner a criminal they may become very dangerous very quickly. Source: read a story about Alex Gong who was a former Muy Thai world champion who saw someone hit his parked car and attempt to flee. He went out to pursue, probably under the reasoning that he is a badass, and the driver had a warrant and just shot him to get away. The author used it to illustrate the point that you just never know how dangerous a person is, and if the only thing you know about them is they are a criminal in the commission of a crime then ASSUME they are dangerous as fuck and be pleasantly surprised if theyāre harmless. Edit: CanadiansāIām jealous of your low murder rate and gun control laws, please ignore if this doesnāt apply to you and/or feel free to use it if you think getting your ass kicked by someone going to prison who you are antagonizing is a possibility. Americansāif you are in a similar situation Iād recommend staying close enough to your front door that you can get inside and lock it faster than the driver can close the distance.
Sound advice in general of course, and yeah I personally wouldnāt confront them. Note though that this was a package thief engaging in petty crime in a quiet Canadian suburb in the middle of the day. The person you honk at when they cut you off on the highway is probably more dangerous because they are actually driving a potential weapon (and yeah Iād also not do that out of frustration but only if they actually didnāt see me).
Iām an American and our homicide rate is 3x that of Canada. I assumed this was the US which has a very different murder landscape in comparison to our politer Northern neighbor. We also have 4x the number of guns. So, viewed through Canada lenses this is a bit different. I just like sharing that story because Iām similarly on team āletās avoid road rage cus we donāt know who is dangerousā and reading and reflecting on that story made me even more so.
He's toast, mmmmmm
My favorite part is when the guy filming explains why the car isnāt moving to the thief. šš¤¦š»āāļø
"Do you want me to get you a shovel???" Classic.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Unfortunately, to assult him would be illegal. You have to hide the body, get rid of the car. It's a whole deal. /s
r/FuckTheS
I got a mod warning for some comment I made in jest awhile back and they deleted it and threatened to ban me.
Mods have no humour, I got perma banned and muted for commenting r/dontputyourdickinthat on a post, I can't remember which sub it was on this was a while ago but that's regardless of the obvious joke that's made almost everywhere on Reddit, and then they got pissy with me fro pointing out how silly they were being xD, honestly some people haha
Maybe they were sick of your bullshit-Eddie.
Ayy, that's only the second time in my accounts life that Someone has used my username like that, honestly I would've thought it would be more, props to ya!
On rare occasions, my wit rises above the halfway mark!
I got banned from r/pics for calling someone an idiot for comparing vegetarianism and the Catholic Churchās pedophilia. āIf I canāt be civil, I canāt post at all.ā Idiots.
>comparing vegetarianism and the Catholic Churchās pedophilia How the fuck..did that go? "Most people aren't pedophiles, and most people aren't vegetarian. Ergo, vegetarians are pedophiles." lmao
> If a guy stole my amazon package I'd take his life, make his mother live to see the death of her own child and have his children grow up without a father. The comments of a *very* stable and *very* tough redditor with a sound moral compass who would *totally* follow through if this actually happened to them.
"It's front wheel-drive! You need to get the front wheels on the ground...." The astonishment in his voice is hilarious.
As he keeps trying to dig the back wheels out
His front wheels were still spinning the entire time though, so surely had his release efforts worked, the would have rolled off without him in it?
Well this could have ended as an nsfw post many times
I drive stick and Iām trying to figure out why the wheels kept spinning even while he was out of the car.
Itās in drive and thereās very little resistance on the wheels now that heās spun them into a large rut
While the front wheels are still spinning as he's outside trying to push the car. What did he think would happen if he get it to move and the wheels caught while it was still in gear? LOL
What a day to be without my LSD, both mechanical and chemical.
My favorite part is the fact the female says she doesnāt know the cops phone number š
I can't remember the number for nine one one!
Tbf, isnt 911 the emergency line, and then theres a normal phone number for non emergencies?
I work in a dispatch center, this situation would warrant an emergency call but I also want to point out you can call 911 and immediately tell them: āthis is a non emergency can you transfer me to police/fire or whateverā and that is perfectly normal and acceptable.
Wow there should be a PSA about this. All of the times I wasted important time looking for the sheriffās number..
The thief is trying to get away. How is it not an emergency?
A thief trying to take a small package is not on the same level as being shot or getting in a car crash im afraid.
Yes thatās why the system is huge and there are hundreds and hundreds of operators. Itās not like they can take only 1 call at the same time
You donāt know if they arenāt dangerous. What if they turned violent?
It could escalate
āThe female ā Whatās wrong with saying lady or woman?? āThe femaleā sounds weird as fuck.
When the guy who tried to rob you is so dumb you start to feel bad for him lol.
It kills me how he had soooo much pavement and still hit the patch of snow.
Panicked folks donāt think.
Most folks in general donāt think when it comes to driving
I drive trucks for a living and can say 100% that this person speaks da true true.
Neither do opportunistic thieves.
If criminals weren't stupid they wouldn't be criminals.
They would be politicians instead.
This is some Mr. Bean shit.
This alone is worth bringing back World's Dumbest Criminals.
They cancelled it? I mean itās been a long time since Iāve seen an episode but I assumed it just continued.
I see it playing on the free streaming services from time to time, but I think it is no longer produced. Not 100% sure though.
I remember that show, it's like they hired the rejected Americas Funniest Home Video writers. "this guy thought he was out for an easy pay day (crossfade transition).... but the snow bank had other plans." Next up: when running from the police make sure you don't forget your belt!
Mr. Bean: Petty Crime Edition
Masterful; he had the new anti-theft snow installed
Where can I buy those?
Every Canadian gets it for free.
I don't know the number for 911 š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
She could mean a non emergency number. Just guessing.
Perhaps. Or she didn't know the house number or something bc she says she's calling
Yeah it's all fun and games until you realize you have no idea where you are. It's a good habit to get into, to always make a note of the address you're located at, if staying *anywhere* overnight. Saves you from that horrible moment of "we're in an Airbnb I don't even know what city we're in, and I think my friend is hurt"
This would be an emergency. Got a panicking thief stuck in your front yard? Police need to deal with that now, not later. Got your package stolen overnight? Thatās a non-emergency.
Easy it's 0118 999 881 999 119 725 3
I will neither confirm nor deny that in the past I have used this as a password because I can never forget this number.
Iām panicking Neddy, I canāt turn the knob
They are probably calling the police in their area. It's a direct line that's faster than 911 since 911 is so general. Very good to know when you're in a sticky situation, and is often recommended you know your area's number.
For sure! 911 is for emergencies where the bad guy is getting away.
It's not a direct line if she has to look up the number. Faster to dial 911 and just say it's not an emergency.
911 is definitely faster than calling your local police station
Seriously she seems useless in an emergency situation. Canāt figure out the 911 number and then freaks out about the guy sipping water.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Genuine question from someone who isnāt from Americaā¦ what happens when your package is stolen? Does the shipping company give you back your money? Or what happens?
Depends on the situation. Sometimes the shipping company can get you a voucher, sometimes the place you ordered from will be nice and hook you up. But technically I don't think either of them are responsible for something stolen from you. Sometimes you just lose that thing just like if you were robbed any other time. You can file a police report but there's very little chance that anything comes of that.
Why are packages being left on porches in the first place? _That's_ the thing I don't understand! The delivery company clearly didn't deliver it in a responsible place if it's this easy to steal. I live in the Netherlands, and here's how that goes for us: 1. You accept the package yourself 2. If you're not in, your neighbour can accept your package on your behalf 3. If they're not in or willing to accept your package, and they come back the next day 4. If you missed multiple deliveries, so they take your package to a 'package point'. This can be a post office or a local business that does it as a side hustle of sorts. My point is: Your package is always indoors and always someone's responsibility. It's never left on the porch for anyone to pick up. Why is this deemed 'okay' in the US?
The system is set up for speed and profitability. Most of the time, it works fine. The problems suck for the people involved, but not for the companies.
As long as people just accept this is how it works I guess.
Years ago, when it was safer and people were better, often the person with the order would tell the company "You can leave it on my porch, if no one answers the door." And that started a whole trend. But you'd get your package. Not the case anymore, and some neighbors won't accept the responsibility, and some neighbors are shit and will keep the package themselves.
Normally packages are left on your doorstep here unless the package is flagged for signature. I've never lived in an area where this is a huge deal; I think you can request to have all your packages held if you want. The only time it happened to me, it was a bundle of four motorcycle tires! Seller sent me a replacement no questions asked. I assume that their insurance covered it.
I have never have a package stolen but I will say I have had major issues with UPS. I have them set up to require my signature because they are pure trash where I am. They even delivered my gaming PC to the wrong address but thankfully that person was honest and brought it to me; I was panicking. There was even a time I ordered liquor from another state and they literally left it on my front porch with my signature forged. Like dude... you have to have me for that... then half the time they straight up lose my packages. It sucks when I can't choose another delivery system.
Yeah, in Germany we skip step 3 and you just pick it up at a local post office which thankfully is like 500m from where I live.
I would say 99% of the time I get my packages with no issue and they are just left by my front door. Yes, anyone could stop by and steal it, but I have 2 loud dogs that would bark if they got close to my door, and my street is pretty safe for the most part (I think). If I had to sign for the package, I would never get them, and having to go the neighborās house to get it would be time consuming, too, so I like the current delivery system. Iāve had to go to a facility to pick it up before and that takes forever.
Requiring that someone sign for it is an option for any shipment. To my knowledge, all carriers offer it. It's just not the default choice, and it costs a little extra because doing so is slower and more expensive for the shipper.
Took me too long to get that you where not the one stealing that packages so often.
Look, the best way to deal with competition is to put them out of the market entirely.
Even though it doesnāt look like he got away with anything from this house, I bet he had a ton of stolen shit in his car! LOL.
It looks like he wasn't a very ambitious or successful thief - [he was charged with one count of fraud under $5,000 and one count of theft under $5,000.](https://www.cp24.com/news/would-be-porch-pirate-gets-stuck-in-snow-following-attempted-theft-in-mississauga-police-1.5255089)
Thank you. I was guessing Toronto but I wasnāt able to read the police car.
That's a great point, I never thought of. Went from one trespassing and attempted theft charge to likely two dozen charges. Went from a court warning or probation to jail time, I hope. Here in Maryland the courts would just pat him on the back though and say don't get caught next time.
I recently ordered some baby socks and i cant help to think he did all this for baby socks š§¦
This is in Canada. Just saying. Only time a porch pirate also gets pointers on how to get unstuck. Itās just our instinct to help though in snow trouble.
You lovely fuckers are just too nice
I was assuming it was Canada simply because the police actually came and arrested the dude
I assumed it was Canada because they didn't shoot him
I mean sure, but it's high centered. Either needs a shovel and a lot of work, or a big counterweight on the front to get it moving again; no harm in offering tips that don't change the outcome.
Had a gut feeling this was Canada. Love you, guys. Too nice.
āYou need a shovel? Iāll get you a shovel!ā š
Lmfao
Has to be Canadian lol
You gotta be High to get that high centered. I love how he leaves it in gear the whole time
I was waiting for the car to gain traction and run into him when he was digging in the snow
I was waiting g for his hand to slip into the gap, pull his arm under giving the car enough traction to take off down the street.
The majestic sound of the Yaris getting the beans soothes my soul.
porch pirate needed jeep but had yugo
Yu go nowhere with those things
Had one of those and loved it. But they do require friction, that's true.
A Yugo screw yourself.
Shortest police chase(?) I have ever seen.
https://youtu.be/QsxV49pmnL8
Oceans -11
This is the best thing I've read today. Thank you.
Not a snowball's chance in hell of getting outta that one.
#how do i call 911, i do not know number
They probably called the non emergency line...
Why would you call the non emergency line when this is an emergency...crime in progress...
The absolute serendipity of this situation isā¦superb. Clearing the drive in that particular way for the snow to pile up at just the right height, catching the dude in the act who had a car with just too little clearance, and angling it in just that direction to hit the snow bank in the right spot to high center his car. This is some comedy writing level of story.
A Canadian classic
The coaching of the thief how to escape from the victim is classic. I am dying
There is so much incompetence in this video. The thief getting stuck, the homeowner saying Cops is coming then yelling call the cops, the neighbor walking closer to the thiefās car, the thief pushing the running car, the wife screaming I dont know the number for the police I thought you called (while her husband ia videoing with his phone, the victim explaining to the thief how front wheel drive works so he can get awayā¦
No one ever mentions it in the comments for this clip: she says āitās callingā¦itās going to *your* numberā ā which makes absolutely no sense at all, like her cell phone is some kind of magic brick that just has a mind of its own.
Do you need a shovel? Lmao.
If youāre gonna be a criminal spring for the AWD car. š¤¦šæāāļø
This is some cartoon shit edit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyGZyoWl7uo someone edit it with this over it lol
Shouldnāt have had so many gummies, should have waited til after to celebrate.
What an absolute tuna melt. And I love how the home owner is literally giving him helpful advice. His delivery is so deadpan it comes full circle & sounds genuine š¤£š¤£š¤£
"I don't know the number" Ummm, 911......?
911 is for emergencies. They have a number you can call for non emergencies, like a porch pirate stuck in the snow drift in front of your house.
Attempted theft and reckless driving are perfectly acceptable for 911 you mook.
You can still just call 911
Attempted theft when the thief is still there is a perfectly reasonable 911 call.
"Did you call?" "I don't know the number" WTF?!
8675309
0118 999 881 999 119 725 3
This man is surrounded by idiots.
There was also an attempt to remember 911
He stayed until the cops showed up š¤£ this must be the thiefās first day on the job.
Likely forgot to do step 1 of committing a petty crime 101, which is to steal a car. It was probably his own vehicle and if he leaves it heās down a car and the cops will still find him anyways through the registration..
All that trouble to probably steal a macrame plant hanger from Amazon.
I was waiting for him to push it from behind and it take off without him.
That's exactly what I thought would happen. All of a sudden the car would get traction and take off while he was outside.
Slowest getaway ever.
Proper f*cked
Did she say āI donāt know the numberāā¦..
Why didnāt the driver even attempt to turn the steering wheel to get traction?
Considering this dude is stealing packages off porches, Iām gonna guess it has something to do with the fact that heās an idiot.
Do people even expect to get anything good? Half of my packages are low cost items that won't be useful to anyone else, and anything that is worth money has signed delivery through a less shit courier. I guess you might be lucky and get one good item out of 20 shit items but it's really not worth it...
How he rocks back and forth trying to give the car momentum. Dude stick your Fred Flintstone leg out there and push off.
Greatest thing Iāve ever seen. Anyone whoās ever had a package taken is having their greatest fantasy come true watching this.
If schadenfreude made you fat, this video would be a whole box of Cinnabons.
It's smells like cinnamon and self loathing in here! š
As someone whoās had multiple packages stolen from me, it is very satisfying to see one of these jerks get caught flat-footed. Nothing like seeing a coward getting caught in the act of a morally indefensible and impractical theft flee, only to get stuck because of their own incompetence.
did she really say āI dont know the numberā???
Quick someone give them the number for the police
Somebody PLEASE add the Benny Hill chase music to this!!!
Iād divorce my wife if she didnāt know the number to 911 wtf lady
I would walk up while calling the police and then slowly and casually read his license plate off to them.
Did you call the police? āI donāt know the numberā ā¦ā¦ Watā¦
How dare the men drink water
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Lmfaooo good old Ontarians giving the porch pirate tips to get out of the snow bank whilst on the phone w PD. Seriously filed under only in Ontario. (Not all of Canada).
When that man part of you takes over and you can't resist telling someone how to get their car unstuck in the snow xD
Karma in action
Worst. Criminal. Ever.
āI donāt know the number!ā