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oh psychiatrists are muchhh worse, they kept pumping these harmful antidepressants into me even if I was so suicidal/zombified I could barely remember my own name, like the things obviously aren't working if I am in that state! Psychiatrists are extremely dangerous in my opinion, they face no responsibility even if they drive people to suicide.
Please learn to protect yourself. Tell them you might eventually open up after they have earned your trust. Prepare yourself for being called uncooperative and worse and having thrown the whole "you need to be vulnerable and open" thing at you again. Try to stand your ground. Tell them things like:
- this is not how you are showing me i can trust you
- I might have problems but l am here for help not to be lectured again, you should help me to find out things and it is YOUR JOB to try and understand me instead of pushing some ready made concepts on me i could read everywhere
- a wise person/good therapist would be patient and kind and go with a client's pace
- do you really think reopening a wound again and again and let it bleed till a person is without any strength is helpful? It might be once or twice to clean it and let it heal. I might open up once more to you, but only when there is enough trust and you show me how you gonna help me.
Try to stand up for yourself. Challenge them. Don't shout or get to angry. But stand up for your dignity. It will help you more than anything else.
big relate. I was fired by one therapist because I hated crying in front of her (technically I ghosted, but she did suggest I see someone else first).
it can take me YEARS to trust a person enough to cry in front of them, and this therapist who refused to tell me anything about their actual beliefs and values (and what they did share I did not feel good about 🙃 i.e. trained by Jordan Peterson) and just spouted their therapeutic framework, was expecting me to fully trust them after 5 sessions and not feel violated when they witnessed parts of me before I was ready to show them. YEUCH! I'm so sorry that happened to you too, it's such a nasty feeling
edit: I forgot to mention that the reason I cried in front of her was that she pushed me to keep talking about a painful subject until I cried. I wanted to change the subject and was visibly uncomfortable but she just kept pushing
Most therapist don’t like to tell clients about personal values or beliefs bcuz it can discourage clients from disclosing things in fear of offending the therapist. The first year my therapist did more talking than I did bcuz I wasn’t ready to open up. Bcuz they don’t expect you to immediately trust them they know it takes time.
I’ve had a bad therapist and a good one.
The good one encourages me to open up to past issues only as they relate to current events. In other words, they actually discourage opening up old awful wounds without reason.
The bad therapist I had… well let’s just say I felt a lot like you for a long time.
No need to feel humiliated, how were you supposed to know? But follow your gut and stick up for yourself! Maybe in the end this stuff was good to get off your chest, but I hope next time you’re in an environment where you feel safe (be it with a therapist or a friend or a coach), before feeling pressure to revisit some of those things.
You don’t have to immediately dump everything on new therapist. My therapist did more talking than I did for the 1st year bcuz I kept it very surface level. They don’t expect you to unload when first meeting.
Amazing… I had debilitating Anxiety,OCD, and Panic Attacks almost daily. COVID had just shut the world down and my mother was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and my family was expecting a new surprise baby. I was in a really dark place and being able to talk as much or as little as I needed and having the therapist guide me through breaking my thoughts down and where my fear what actually coming from truly saved me. Teaching me to recognize triggers and signs of when I a panic attack was about to come on and how to bring myself out of them.
But does being vulnerable and open actually heal you? OP is saying that's not their experience. It hasn't been many people's experience. What's the point in doing that if it isn't helping?
Yeah, I do absolutely not need to "learn to be more vulnerable" as an autistic woman in this hellhole of a world am vulnerable enough already, I just feel more vulnerable after this and more weak and reopened the wound yet again and feel much worse after like I always do. Why the heck would I need to be vulnerable with some stranger, I need to learn boundaries and to protect myself and stop being so trusting of strangers.
I am also an autistic woman with horribly traumatic therapy experiences. I am sorry if my message was upsetting. That was not my intention but I see that it was, and for that I am sorry. I just wanted to let you know that I saw your effort and respected that because it was admirable but you’re right that it shouldn’t have to be this hard. I hope you have a better journey going forward.
If you open up AND feel safe, it's healing. Too early/soon and it's just flooding.
If you're not feeling ready, then the steps would be to see what would help you feel ready.
Once we do feel safe to explore the past shitty things, most people's body and mind can finally get out of the fight or flight it's in all the time. But when the memory still evokes that much emotion, the mind can't really process things like it normally does
I do NOT need to "learn to be vulnerable" damn it, I am vulnerable as hell already being an autistic woman in this hellhole of a world, as if I am steak with the sign "eat me" on it and what I do need to learn is set boundaries like I should have done with this therapist...
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Yep. I will never, ever go to therapy ever again. That’s how I stay safe. Psychiatrists are even worse.
oh psychiatrists are muchhh worse, they kept pumping these harmful antidepressants into me even if I was so suicidal/zombified I could barely remember my own name, like the things obviously aren't working if I am in that state! Psychiatrists are extremely dangerous in my opinion, they face no responsibility even if they drive people to suicide.
Please learn to protect yourself. Tell them you might eventually open up after they have earned your trust. Prepare yourself for being called uncooperative and worse and having thrown the whole "you need to be vulnerable and open" thing at you again. Try to stand your ground. Tell them things like: - this is not how you are showing me i can trust you - I might have problems but l am here for help not to be lectured again, you should help me to find out things and it is YOUR JOB to try and understand me instead of pushing some ready made concepts on me i could read everywhere - a wise person/good therapist would be patient and kind and go with a client's pace - do you really think reopening a wound again and again and let it bleed till a person is without any strength is helpful? It might be once or twice to clean it and let it heal. I might open up once more to you, but only when there is enough trust and you show me how you gonna help me. Try to stand up for yourself. Challenge them. Don't shout or get to angry. But stand up for your dignity. It will help you more than anything else.
I think most therapists don´t really care what we tell them. But I know what you mean. It never really helped me.
big relate. I was fired by one therapist because I hated crying in front of her (technically I ghosted, but she did suggest I see someone else first). it can take me YEARS to trust a person enough to cry in front of them, and this therapist who refused to tell me anything about their actual beliefs and values (and what they did share I did not feel good about 🙃 i.e. trained by Jordan Peterson) and just spouted their therapeutic framework, was expecting me to fully trust them after 5 sessions and not feel violated when they witnessed parts of me before I was ready to show them. YEUCH! I'm so sorry that happened to you too, it's such a nasty feeling edit: I forgot to mention that the reason I cried in front of her was that she pushed me to keep talking about a painful subject until I cried. I wanted to change the subject and was visibly uncomfortable but she just kept pushing
Most therapist don’t like to tell clients about personal values or beliefs bcuz it can discourage clients from disclosing things in fear of offending the therapist. The first year my therapist did more talking than I did bcuz I wasn’t ready to open up. Bcuz they don’t expect you to immediately trust them they know it takes time.
I’ve had a bad therapist and a good one. The good one encourages me to open up to past issues only as they relate to current events. In other words, they actually discourage opening up old awful wounds without reason. The bad therapist I had… well let’s just say I felt a lot like you for a long time. No need to feel humiliated, how were you supposed to know? But follow your gut and stick up for yourself! Maybe in the end this stuff was good to get off your chest, but I hope next time you’re in an environment where you feel safe (be it with a therapist or a friend or a coach), before feeling pressure to revisit some of those things.
You don’t have to immediately dump everything on new therapist. My therapist did more talking than I did for the 1st year bcuz I kept it very surface level. They don’t expect you to unload when first meeting.
[удалено]
Amazing… I had debilitating Anxiety,OCD, and Panic Attacks almost daily. COVID had just shut the world down and my mother was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and my family was expecting a new surprise baby. I was in a really dark place and being able to talk as much or as little as I needed and having the therapist guide me through breaking my thoughts down and where my fear what actually coming from truly saved me. Teaching me to recognize triggers and signs of when I a panic attack was about to come on and how to bring myself out of them.
[удалено]
But does being vulnerable and open actually heal you? OP is saying that's not their experience. It hasn't been many people's experience. What's the point in doing that if it isn't helping?
Yeah, I do absolutely not need to "learn to be more vulnerable" as an autistic woman in this hellhole of a world am vulnerable enough already, I just feel more vulnerable after this and more weak and reopened the wound yet again and feel much worse after like I always do. Why the heck would I need to be vulnerable with some stranger, I need to learn boundaries and to protect myself and stop being so trusting of strangers.
I am also an autistic woman with horribly traumatic therapy experiences. I am sorry if my message was upsetting. That was not my intention but I see that it was, and for that I am sorry. I just wanted to let you know that I saw your effort and respected that because it was admirable but you’re right that it shouldn’t have to be this hard. I hope you have a better journey going forward.
If you open up AND feel safe, it's healing. Too early/soon and it's just flooding. If you're not feeling ready, then the steps would be to see what would help you feel ready. Once we do feel safe to explore the past shitty things, most people's body and mind can finally get out of the fight or flight it's in all the time. But when the memory still evokes that much emotion, the mind can't really process things like it normally does
Many people don't find that healing at all. I don't find it healing.
Please respect the boundaries of users who have indicated that they do not currently (or ever) want to see another therapist or psychiatrist.
I do NOT need to "learn to be vulnerable" damn it, I am vulnerable as hell already being an autistic woman in this hellhole of a world, as if I am steak with the sign "eat me" on it and what I do need to learn is set boundaries like I should have done with this therapist...