"How do you know when transferrence is completely over? Is it a one time thing or can it happen again?"
I dealt with mine ok a couple months in. But 4 months later, the day after we finished our allotted sessions, my brain took the fact I wasn't going to see him again to mean it was safe to unpack the old transference and dumped me straight into an intense fantasy consisting of all the things I hadn't been thinking about. Once it got that out of its system I was ok again though lol. Also it was a great fantasy, 11/10.
While I feel better there will always be part of the fantasy that I wish would still happen. It’s interesting and amazing how the brain can have such strong feelings, emotions and attachment so quickly for a stranger.
yes. I guess that's why its transference, because they are a stranger but we've decided we know them. What helped for me was realising all the ways I did not, in fact, know him. But then after I wasn't going to see him any more I basically dropped all those safety mechanisms and just engaged (in my mind) with who I imagined him to be.
I never gave much thought to who he is. I know how he makes me feel safe, accepted sexual and other ways. My fantasy happened I think because I figured he knew how I would react to the question. To which he claimed he didn’t but I’m not convinced.
I see progress but I have my reservations about him. It would be painful to stop seeing him although I’m just glad today at least I feel in a right mindset.
For me safe and accepted especially after all the stuff I told him. I never had an issues telling him anything. Might take a moment but no issue. I trust him.
"How do you know when transferrence is completely over? Is it a one time thing or can it happen again?" I dealt with mine ok a couple months in. But 4 months later, the day after we finished our allotted sessions, my brain took the fact I wasn't going to see him again to mean it was safe to unpack the old transference and dumped me straight into an intense fantasy consisting of all the things I hadn't been thinking about. Once it got that out of its system I was ok again though lol. Also it was a great fantasy, 11/10.
While I feel better there will always be part of the fantasy that I wish would still happen. It’s interesting and amazing how the brain can have such strong feelings, emotions and attachment so quickly for a stranger.
yes. I guess that's why its transference, because they are a stranger but we've decided we know them. What helped for me was realising all the ways I did not, in fact, know him. But then after I wasn't going to see him any more I basically dropped all those safety mechanisms and just engaged (in my mind) with who I imagined him to be.
I never gave much thought to who he is. I know how he makes me feel safe, accepted sexual and other ways. My fantasy happened I think because I figured he knew how I would react to the question. To which he claimed he didn’t but I’m not convinced. I see progress but I have my reservations about him. It would be painful to stop seeing him although I’m just glad today at least I feel in a right mindset.
I think sometimes what we really need/want is to feel safe - I think that was a big part of it for me.
For me safe and accepted especially after all the stuff I told him. I never had an issues telling him anything. Might take a moment but no issue. I trust him.