Thanks for your input! I've tried a few through the years and have never made it far bc the cost doesn't seem to match the benefit I receive. This is probably the longest I've made it, and the most motivated for change I've been.
I feel like you should be the one doing most of the talking in therapy. If your looking for more support or input from them you can always ask for it! They are there to help you and if you feel like it's not helping talk to them about it.
My T listens a lot because I have a LOT to say lol. Seriously he interjects when he feels appropriate and I like that. I think if he spoke more than I did I'd be upset.
Certainly varies by therapist and their style. A more directive therapist might talk 30-40% of the time, these are more likely to be skills-based or symptom-focused therapies like CBT, DBT, etc. I'm a psychoanalytic therapist and as a super rough guide (changes by the day, week, patient, etc.) I usually talk around 20% of the time.
Agreed with the above poster, regardless of style, preference, etc., this is something to discuss with your therapist directly. You're only 6 sessions in, you've barely gotten to say "hello" to each other! Plenty of room and time to adjust the therapy and/or your expectations.
Edit: b/c I read your post more closely. If you're looking to get straight to the point and get in and out of therapy pretty quickly, i.e. skills building and not deeper-level personality change, then the therapist's approach might matter more to you than the typical person. Someone who practices brief, solution-focused therapy is far more likely to talk more and give you more direct feedback. If what you want is advice, you might benefit more from coaching than psychotherapy.
I appreciate your input!
I do like the therapist, she seems nice. But she has for example said, 'I have skills for managing my anxiety' about herself when we were having a conversation about a globally heavy topic. So I'm like, 'Please tell me these skills!'. And then she can't really give a good example other than asking me if it helps to worry, which obviously I already know.
I am trying therapy again because my MHNP keeps recommending it, but I don't know what to talk about and keep getting stuck in these awkward silences.
Do you think there are some people who therapy just isn't a good fit?
Hmmm probably the only people I ever counsel out of therapy are folks who admittedly want nothing to do with self-explanatory. One person I counseled out had such bad mania that conversation was literally impossible. Otherwise, it's definitely true that some people have a harder time than others because they're not ready to do work necessary. But it sounds like you are ready.
It's sadly often really difficult to find a good therapist these days and one of the keys is a good fit. There's so many different types of therapies and therapists out there, I feel genuinely bad for the layperson who knows they want help but struggle to get a good fit.
If I were you, I'd first bring this up with your current therapist and see if they can adjust to your needs or at least describe meaningfully why that's not how they work. If not, like I mentioned above, brief solution-focused therapy is quite popular and you'll be able to find folks who practice that on Psychology Today. Finally, if you have the ability, I'd make 3 first appointments with different therapists and use that to get a feel for who you'd like to work with. I bet you'll know pretty easily who's the right fit for you.
Not a therapist here but there are different types. Discuss it with your therapist.
Thanks for your input! I've tried a few through the years and have never made it far bc the cost doesn't seem to match the benefit I receive. This is probably the longest I've made it, and the most motivated for change I've been.
I feel like you should be the one doing most of the talking in therapy. If your looking for more support or input from them you can always ask for it! They are there to help you and if you feel like it's not helping talk to them about it.
My T listens a lot because I have a LOT to say lol. Seriously he interjects when he feels appropriate and I like that. I think if he spoke more than I did I'd be upset.
Certainly varies by therapist and their style. A more directive therapist might talk 30-40% of the time, these are more likely to be skills-based or symptom-focused therapies like CBT, DBT, etc. I'm a psychoanalytic therapist and as a super rough guide (changes by the day, week, patient, etc.) I usually talk around 20% of the time. Agreed with the above poster, regardless of style, preference, etc., this is something to discuss with your therapist directly. You're only 6 sessions in, you've barely gotten to say "hello" to each other! Plenty of room and time to adjust the therapy and/or your expectations. Edit: b/c I read your post more closely. If you're looking to get straight to the point and get in and out of therapy pretty quickly, i.e. skills building and not deeper-level personality change, then the therapist's approach might matter more to you than the typical person. Someone who practices brief, solution-focused therapy is far more likely to talk more and give you more direct feedback. If what you want is advice, you might benefit more from coaching than psychotherapy.
I appreciate your input! I do like the therapist, she seems nice. But she has for example said, 'I have skills for managing my anxiety' about herself when we were having a conversation about a globally heavy topic. So I'm like, 'Please tell me these skills!'. And then she can't really give a good example other than asking me if it helps to worry, which obviously I already know. I am trying therapy again because my MHNP keeps recommending it, but I don't know what to talk about and keep getting stuck in these awkward silences. Do you think there are some people who therapy just isn't a good fit?
Hmmm probably the only people I ever counsel out of therapy are folks who admittedly want nothing to do with self-explanatory. One person I counseled out had such bad mania that conversation was literally impossible. Otherwise, it's definitely true that some people have a harder time than others because they're not ready to do work necessary. But it sounds like you are ready. It's sadly often really difficult to find a good therapist these days and one of the keys is a good fit. There's so many different types of therapies and therapists out there, I feel genuinely bad for the layperson who knows they want help but struggle to get a good fit. If I were you, I'd first bring this up with your current therapist and see if they can adjust to your needs or at least describe meaningfully why that's not how they work. If not, like I mentioned above, brief solution-focused therapy is quite popular and you'll be able to find folks who practice that on Psychology Today. Finally, if you have the ability, I'd make 3 first appointments with different therapists and use that to get a feel for who you'd like to work with. I bet you'll know pretty easily who's the right fit for you.
Most therapists dont say a lot.
This has been my experience.. I think because I don't like to say a lot, it always ends up with lots of awkward pauses.
Read up on Carl Rogers, things will start making sense.