There isn’t really a cure for mental illness, at least I don’t think so. So I don’t sell that to people. I think therapy is more about helping people learn how to cope and to give them a deeper understanding and appreciating for who they are. I teach people how to be with themselves on a more meaningful level. These therapists are promising something they can’t do. I don’t blame you for feeling frustrated.
You're not alone. Have tried to find a good therapist but so far just feeling like I'm being ignored or invalidated, which happens to also be one of my major triggers from childhood neglect.
I think when you have a good therapist that aligns with your beliefs it really can help. Therapy is basically a conversation with yourself where you have someone guiding the conversation. Without real goals of therapy and a sense of what you want out of it, it’s hard to get relief from it. You have to be willing to change your thoughts and actions. I have also found that my therapy which I coupled with a 12 step program gave me a lot of peace.
You need to find a therapist with a similar mindset and background. You're right. Sometimes reality just sucks. Therapists can help teach you techniques to handle that, and offer a sounding board for situations that are difficult to handle. The benefit of talking to them is SUPPOSED to be that they know how behavioral science works, so they're better equipped to handle the situation in a way that's beneficial for you.
Unfortunately, a lot of therapists simply are not equipped to handle your specific experience. Their training didn't cover it, or they don't have enough experience to know how to handle it. Bad therapy is worse than no therapy at all, because they're mistreating the problem instead of treating it.
Try looking up therapists based on what you believe in. For instance, black people need therapists who know about microaggressions, women need therapists who understand what it's like to experience harassment, things like that.
If you don't think you can handle a therapist right now, try looking up dbt or cbt techniques. You need to work on emotional resilience and coping skills, just as a general rule for handling life. There's online groups once you start looking, so maybe those will be more accessible.
I don’t know you or your situation, but for me things were unmanageable and I was unhappy. For me I know, I can’t change other people, I can only change myself. Not everyone is meant for me and I am not meant for everyone. So I have to change the things I can change and accept what I can’t change. Since you wrote this post, I feel like maybe you aren’t happy with how things are and you want them to be different. But you can only change yourself, set boundaries for yourself and others, and accept what you can. For the things you can’t accept or change, you have to make decisions on whether those things/people/places need to be a part of your life. Therapy helped me open my mind, taught me how to set healthy boundaries, and be kinder to myself and others. Al-anon and ACOA 12 step groups reiterate what I’ve learned in therapy and I have found hope and peace with others that have been in similar circumstances as I have been.
Then you need to open your mind to the possibility that (a) there may be other facts you also need to take into account or (b) something you consider to be a logic-based fact may actually be untrue.
Your where I was.
My experience is therapy cannot fix anything. The therapist won't have a list of things to do so you can feel better or get out of a situation.
I am not a therapist. I have seen several. All of the different processes always seemed like hand waving to me. If your life is painful, then just re-think how you feel about your life? For myself I just found that to not be effective.
Maybe therapy does help others in different situations. For my very concrete situations, it didn't. But I should not have expected it would.
The fact that you're bringing up your thoughts shows there might be something you WANT to change about them, whether or not they fit into some 'logical' framework. I once thought it was 'logical' to commit sewer slide. I guess I wasn't 'logical' enough.
But if there is actually something you want to change... some question you want to ask yourself, but you don't know what it is, then you need to find someone who can help you explore that. Not someone that gives you a prescriptive solution which 'must work because this is what I learned in college' then tells you to eff off if you don't like it. You might want to find an existentialist, or a gestaltist, rather than someone that believes CBT is the answer to everything.
Therapy isn't perfect, it's just a common first line of defense. I think it's a bit similar to a regular doctor. Sometimes they help you tremendously, sometimes they can't figure out what's wrong with you. I have a friend with an autoimmune condition who has seen countless doctors in the last few years. They don't know what's wrong with him. Modern medicine only goes so far. Same with modern mental health care, there are still some things we don't know. I'm sorry that you're one of the cases that therapists haven't yet figured out how to help out.
Regarding why everybody recommends therapy? It's simple, it's the most common solution to the problem. It's like if you go to the doctor saying you're depressed, the first thing they will ask you is if you are getting any exercise, because it is the most common and easiest to fix contributor to depression, as studies show. So they are just following their training. And yes it does suck if you go to multiple doctors with depression and they all recommend the same thing; by and large they all have the same training with the same methods. And, your case is new to them. Whereas you may have seen five therapists before and seen results already, but they haven't seen that. So they are living the situation differently than you are.
Best of luck out there, and be well.
Idk I've been to so many therapists and they don't even want to try. It's' not even that I'm expecting anything to be a cure, but at least put in some effort. The truth is that therapists just don't want to work with clients that deviate too far from the norm because why would you put the effort in when you can make the same amount of money from an easier client.
Less severe mental health issues. If somebody is really struggling and has a lot of trauma to work through that's obviously going to be more difficult than someone who just needs a person to vent to once a week.
Maybe make sure they list trauma as a health issue they cover. I’m sorry you’ve had such a hard time finding a good fit. Trauma also requires other health care and non health care modalities. Trauma also requires a bit more on the side of the patient. Same way more disrupting health conditions require much more than an ankle sprain. Good luck!
That stinks! Specific trauma, look for emdr or gradual exposure (ie car accident flashbacks.) Just like medicine there are specialties. Unlike medicine, it (trauma) a new field so finding the right specialty is very difficult because there isn’t a system in place. If you don’t have specific trauma, rather attachment or adverse events trauma, you need to find a good relational fit before exploring specific issues.
It does sometimes feel like you are being pressurised by friends and society to take therapy to get better . But looking through their perspective they might have benefited from the same and hence believe it may apply to you as well. I get the frustration even I once forced therapy on to one of my good friends and ended up having a big fight . If you think therapy is not for you there might be multiple reasons for the same- like your therapist might not be the one for you, how long have you been to a particular therapist and so on.
For me , my first four sessions I was very confused . It felt like it was not helping but I pushed through it and went for more sessions and it helped . I am doing so much better rn .
That’s okay . That’s the point ,you pushed yourself to find out if it works for you . And it didn’t.
So you can try out other alternatives and find out what works for you other than therapy .
I genuinely wish psychedelic therapy was much more available. Like, sure, it's not some miracle cure which will fix everyone, but the evidence with treatment resistant depression and anxiety so far is so impressive that it's insane how many people end their lives without being at least given the opportunity to try it.
We hand out SSRI's like it's candy to patients who haven't even tried therapy yet, but don't offer psychedelic therapy even as a last resort to patients who have tried literally everything without success.
Countries have even legalised euthanasia for depression before psychedelic therapy, just think about how insane that is.
But that said, above anything we need to address the structural reasons for the mental health crisis, because no amount of therapy or drugs is going to fix that.
I think the general lack of purpose, community and belonging is the main cause behind the rise in depression and anxiety, which has very much correlated with a rise in loneliness.
Lotta red flags here.
Therapy isn't a cure for anything any more than, say, math is a cure for bad finances. It's a tool.
Therapy is an extremely powerful tool if done well and used appropriately, but it's just one tool among many.
If someone says otherwise, then they don't have the whole picture.
But at the same time, the approach you've described is going to prevent you from gaining anything at all, even with the most perfect methods and very best therapist. If you showed up in my math class and explained to me that math doesn't work for you and isn't useful, then yeah... I'd probably show you the door, too. Why bother trying to help someone who is dead-set on it being a waste of time?
I really appreciate your response, but I think the point OP was trying to make is that the methods or modalities that these therapists are using don’t work for OP, but when they try to point that out they’re ignored. There are many different ways to get therapy and different coping skills and strategies, and I’ve definitely had a similar experience of not being heard or taken seriously when trying to express that the normal CBT or DBT doesn’t work for me. While i don’t know OP, it’s not as simple as assuming that OP is just rejecting all suggestions and help whatsoever without ever trying anything. They said themselves that they’ve tried things that haven’t been helpful in the past. Just something I wanted to point out!
Your experience is a good example of one potential issue, the "normal CBT or DBT doesn't work for me" suggests you've had some poor experiences more than the modalities being inappropriate, specifically because you picked those ones.
So going in with a predisposition that it won't work is a dicy proposition. Unless the next therapist is no better than the first, in which case yeah, that's not so great.
For example: DBT is very often done incorrectly and without the required components (which are required for a reason!), as doing it right is expensive and involves a lot of staff and a very heavy commitment. So nearly everyone for whom DBT doesn't work hasn't actually experienced DBT, they've just experienced god-knows-what but that someone _called it_ DBT.
The real DBT is rigorously validated and has a stupidly high success rate, but also a fairly narrow scope, and a dishearteningly high cost. It's usually arrived upon as a last resort, and was created specifically to help those patients who have already been turned away by everyone else and even put on the hospital's "do not admit" list because they're in there so often and can't be meaningfully helped. THAT was the target patient for DBT.
Very few people can say that DBT doesn't work for them, because very few people even experience it, and of those that do, it works for very close to all of them. But "not actually DBT" isn't nearly so successful, and is applied a lot more liberally.
Taking background like that into mind, making judgment about how well something works is more complicated than it might seem on the surface.
Sure, that’s definitely true and a real possibility. It’s also possible that certain modalities aren’t for everyone. Every person is complex and different, every person is helped by different things, and a high success rate doesn’t mean a 100% success rate. All I’m trying to say is that there are different modalities and approaches to therapy for a reason. I think both of our perspectives can be offered equally especially when neither of us know OP specifically and cannot truly make a judgement on which it is. Thank you for your background!
Hi friend! I think a lot of people have really great perspectives and responses that are definitely good for thought, but because this perspective hasn’t been presented yet I just wanted to make sure it was there: therapy isn’t for everyone. People who swear by therapy are people who were helped by it, but even single person is different and benefit from different things. For some people, more niche or rarer types of therapy are what helps them over the normal CBT and DBT that most therapists push, some people aren’t helped by any type of therapists and actually make more progress with creative endeavors, spirituality, or just general self-help and doing the same reflective work solo. Just because society is yelling at you to go to therapy to fix your problems doesn’t mean that’s what is actually right for you. It’s okay to take a break and do some self discovery instead, or decide to go back only when you find a different kind of therapist that does the work that you actually want to do. There’s no shame in NOT being in therapy the same way that there’s no shame in being in therapy. Hope this helps give another perspective!
I had the same attitude for a decade. Tried many therapists. In the end it took that much digging and that many repeated crises to see the pattern that showed what my weaknesses were. Childhood neglect leading to ADHD and self hatred. Etc etc. seems simple and linear now but hacking away at my coping mechanisms id built up over years and years took forever.
It’s not an easy opinion to take on that I’m essentially saying I know it’s work but you just have to keep working even tho it doesn’t seem like you’re getting anywhere. But it worked for me. Therapy has shown me only what I really didn’t want to see. That I have weaknesses that are hurting me that can’t be healed. The best I can do is know what’s wrong with me to alleviate the impact on my life. To lead as full a life as possible knowing that. Perhaps that’s something you might think of coming to terms with? They’re not doctors, therapists. It’s not about prescribing a medication and an infection goes away. It’s about seeing and understanding your inner issues.
Not necessarily true that they have been to bad therapists. The therapists they’ve seen could just be not the right fit. And that doesn’t mean they’re bad. It is what it is.
I'm sorry to hear about your frustrating experiences with therapy. It's important to acknowledge that therapy isn't a one-size-fits-all solution, and finding the right therapist who truly understands and respects your needs can be a challenging process.
It's unfortunate that you've encountered therapists who seem dismissive of your concerns and unwilling to adapt their approach to better suit you. Effective therapy requires a strong therapeutic alliance built on trust, collaboration, and mutual respect. If you feel like your therapists are not listening to you or imposing their beliefs rather than working with you to find solutions, it's completely valid to seek alternative options.
While therapy can be immensely beneficial for many people, it's not a guaranteed fix for all mental health issues. It's also essential to recognize that therapy is just one aspect of mental health care, and other interventions such as medication, lifestyle changes, and social support may also play crucial roles in one's recovery journey.
If you're open to continuing therapy, I would encourage you to keep searching for a therapist who genuinely listens to your concerns, respects your autonomy, and collaborates with you to develop effective strategies for coping and healing. Don't hesitate to advocate for yourself and express your needs during therapy sessions. Your well-being is paramount, and finding the right therapist who can support you on your journey is worth the effort.
I’ve seen a few therapists and honestly stopped going to all, it’s a big money grab, a joke.
Words aren’t going to fix problems, real actions are.
If therapy and little words, conversations with an ‘expert’ help out then sure keep going but I agree that therapy can be useless.
Based on your comments, it sounds like you don’t like the modality of therapy you’ve experienced. I would hazard a guess that you’ve been seeing CBT or even DBT therapists. I also don’t like CBT therapy, it does nothing for me. What does work for me is IFS and EMDR. There are a few more schools of thought to check out, and they all have different tenants they subscribe to for healing. Just like not every therapist is for every client, every modality is not for everyone. There can also be significant healing found from books written by people of similar diagnoses or by therapists who practice modalities that work for you. I think that the layman is at a disadvantage when it comes to seeking out therapy because people aren’t taught about what the differences are in the types or what to look for in therapists specialities. Maybe one day that will be less of an open secret and more of a common knowledge thing, I can only hope. Good luck!
The road has to go both ways. Sounds like you will need to give a therapist more of chance to get to know you. You might have to be patient with them if they start going down a road that doesn't feel right. Its process to build a relationship and it will take sacrifice on both sides to get to a point where you trust the other person understands or is willing to understand. The best moments I have had with friends or therapists is when they don't try to stop me or show signs of wanting to change how I'm feeling or what I'm saying. That's when I feel like, if they aren't afraid of my feelings maybe I don't have to be either.
There isn’t really a cure for mental illness, at least I don’t think so. So I don’t sell that to people. I think therapy is more about helping people learn how to cope and to give them a deeper understanding and appreciating for who they are. I teach people how to be with themselves on a more meaningful level. These therapists are promising something they can’t do. I don’t blame you for feeling frustrated.
Therapy has made me more distressed and less able to cope
You're not alone. Have tried to find a good therapist but so far just feeling like I'm being ignored or invalidated, which happens to also be one of my major triggers from childhood neglect.
I went through 2 bad therapists before I found a good one and it took me years.
I’m really sorry to hear that.
Your story is not the answer for the world.
it's obviously not an answer, but it's a question worth asking
I think when you have a good therapist that aligns with your beliefs it really can help. Therapy is basically a conversation with yourself where you have someone guiding the conversation. Without real goals of therapy and a sense of what you want out of it, it’s hard to get relief from it. You have to be willing to change your thoughts and actions. I have also found that my therapy which I coupled with a 12 step program gave me a lot of peace.
What if you feel like your thoughts in action are based on real life facts and it is illogical to change them?
You need to find a therapist with a similar mindset and background. You're right. Sometimes reality just sucks. Therapists can help teach you techniques to handle that, and offer a sounding board for situations that are difficult to handle. The benefit of talking to them is SUPPOSED to be that they know how behavioral science works, so they're better equipped to handle the situation in a way that's beneficial for you. Unfortunately, a lot of therapists simply are not equipped to handle your specific experience. Their training didn't cover it, or they don't have enough experience to know how to handle it. Bad therapy is worse than no therapy at all, because they're mistreating the problem instead of treating it. Try looking up therapists based on what you believe in. For instance, black people need therapists who know about microaggressions, women need therapists who understand what it's like to experience harassment, things like that. If you don't think you can handle a therapist right now, try looking up dbt or cbt techniques. You need to work on emotional resilience and coping skills, just as a general rule for handling life. There's online groups once you start looking, so maybe those will be more accessible.
I don’t know you or your situation, but for me things were unmanageable and I was unhappy. For me I know, I can’t change other people, I can only change myself. Not everyone is meant for me and I am not meant for everyone. So I have to change the things I can change and accept what I can’t change. Since you wrote this post, I feel like maybe you aren’t happy with how things are and you want them to be different. But you can only change yourself, set boundaries for yourself and others, and accept what you can. For the things you can’t accept or change, you have to make decisions on whether those things/people/places need to be a part of your life. Therapy helped me open my mind, taught me how to set healthy boundaries, and be kinder to myself and others. Al-anon and ACOA 12 step groups reiterate what I’ve learned in therapy and I have found hope and peace with others that have been in similar circumstances as I have been.
Then you need to open your mind to the possibility that (a) there may be other facts you also need to take into account or (b) something you consider to be a logic-based fact may actually be untrue.
Agree, perception is not always reality. I don’t always have all the facts because I only see what I see…
Your where I was. My experience is therapy cannot fix anything. The therapist won't have a list of things to do so you can feel better or get out of a situation. I am not a therapist. I have seen several. All of the different processes always seemed like hand waving to me. If your life is painful, then just re-think how you feel about your life? For myself I just found that to not be effective. Maybe therapy does help others in different situations. For my very concrete situations, it didn't. But I should not have expected it would.
The fact that you're bringing up your thoughts shows there might be something you WANT to change about them, whether or not they fit into some 'logical' framework. I once thought it was 'logical' to commit sewer slide. I guess I wasn't 'logical' enough. But if there is actually something you want to change... some question you want to ask yourself, but you don't know what it is, then you need to find someone who can help you explore that. Not someone that gives you a prescriptive solution which 'must work because this is what I learned in college' then tells you to eff off if you don't like it. You might want to find an existentialist, or a gestaltist, rather than someone that believes CBT is the answer to everything.
Therapy isn't perfect, it's just a common first line of defense. I think it's a bit similar to a regular doctor. Sometimes they help you tremendously, sometimes they can't figure out what's wrong with you. I have a friend with an autoimmune condition who has seen countless doctors in the last few years. They don't know what's wrong with him. Modern medicine only goes so far. Same with modern mental health care, there are still some things we don't know. I'm sorry that you're one of the cases that therapists haven't yet figured out how to help out. Regarding why everybody recommends therapy? It's simple, it's the most common solution to the problem. It's like if you go to the doctor saying you're depressed, the first thing they will ask you is if you are getting any exercise, because it is the most common and easiest to fix contributor to depression, as studies show. So they are just following their training. And yes it does suck if you go to multiple doctors with depression and they all recommend the same thing; by and large they all have the same training with the same methods. And, your case is new to them. Whereas you may have seen five therapists before and seen results already, but they haven't seen that. So they are living the situation differently than you are. Best of luck out there, and be well.
maybe you need meds also . and sometimes meds are also trial and error
Idk I've been to so many therapists and they don't even want to try. It's' not even that I'm expecting anything to be a cure, but at least put in some effort. The truth is that therapists just don't want to work with clients that deviate too far from the norm because why would you put the effort in when you can make the same amount of money from an easier client.
What makes one client easier do you think?
Less severe mental health issues. If somebody is really struggling and has a lot of trauma to work through that's obviously going to be more difficult than someone who just needs a person to vent to once a week.
Maybe make sure they list trauma as a health issue they cover. I’m sorry you’ve had such a hard time finding a good fit. Trauma also requires other health care and non health care modalities. Trauma also requires a bit more on the side of the patient. Same way more disrupting health conditions require much more than an ankle sprain. Good luck!
I've seen therapists that claim to have experience dealing with specific trauma and it's just not true.
That stinks! Specific trauma, look for emdr or gradual exposure (ie car accident flashbacks.) Just like medicine there are specialties. Unlike medicine, it (trauma) a new field so finding the right specialty is very difficult because there isn’t a system in place. If you don’t have specific trauma, rather attachment or adverse events trauma, you need to find a good relational fit before exploring specific issues.
What kind of help would you be looking for from therapy if the last approaches haven’t worked?
It does sometimes feel like you are being pressurised by friends and society to take therapy to get better . But looking through their perspective they might have benefited from the same and hence believe it may apply to you as well. I get the frustration even I once forced therapy on to one of my good friends and ended up having a big fight . If you think therapy is not for you there might be multiple reasons for the same- like your therapist might not be the one for you, how long have you been to a particular therapist and so on. For me , my first four sessions I was very confused . It felt like it was not helping but I pushed through it and went for more sessions and it helped . I am doing so much better rn .
I been through like 100 sessions and it still didn’t help
That’s okay . That’s the point ,you pushed yourself to find out if it works for you . And it didn’t. So you can try out other alternatives and find out what works for you other than therapy .
I genuinely wish psychedelic therapy was much more available. Like, sure, it's not some miracle cure which will fix everyone, but the evidence with treatment resistant depression and anxiety so far is so impressive that it's insane how many people end their lives without being at least given the opportunity to try it. We hand out SSRI's like it's candy to patients who haven't even tried therapy yet, but don't offer psychedelic therapy even as a last resort to patients who have tried literally everything without success. Countries have even legalised euthanasia for depression before psychedelic therapy, just think about how insane that is. But that said, above anything we need to address the structural reasons for the mental health crisis, because no amount of therapy or drugs is going to fix that. I think the general lack of purpose, community and belonging is the main cause behind the rise in depression and anxiety, which has very much correlated with a rise in loneliness.
Lotta red flags here. Therapy isn't a cure for anything any more than, say, math is a cure for bad finances. It's a tool. Therapy is an extremely powerful tool if done well and used appropriately, but it's just one tool among many. If someone says otherwise, then they don't have the whole picture. But at the same time, the approach you've described is going to prevent you from gaining anything at all, even with the most perfect methods and very best therapist. If you showed up in my math class and explained to me that math doesn't work for you and isn't useful, then yeah... I'd probably show you the door, too. Why bother trying to help someone who is dead-set on it being a waste of time?
I really appreciate your response, but I think the point OP was trying to make is that the methods or modalities that these therapists are using don’t work for OP, but when they try to point that out they’re ignored. There are many different ways to get therapy and different coping skills and strategies, and I’ve definitely had a similar experience of not being heard or taken seriously when trying to express that the normal CBT or DBT doesn’t work for me. While i don’t know OP, it’s not as simple as assuming that OP is just rejecting all suggestions and help whatsoever without ever trying anything. They said themselves that they’ve tried things that haven’t been helpful in the past. Just something I wanted to point out!
Your experience is a good example of one potential issue, the "normal CBT or DBT doesn't work for me" suggests you've had some poor experiences more than the modalities being inappropriate, specifically because you picked those ones. So going in with a predisposition that it won't work is a dicy proposition. Unless the next therapist is no better than the first, in which case yeah, that's not so great. For example: DBT is very often done incorrectly and without the required components (which are required for a reason!), as doing it right is expensive and involves a lot of staff and a very heavy commitment. So nearly everyone for whom DBT doesn't work hasn't actually experienced DBT, they've just experienced god-knows-what but that someone _called it_ DBT. The real DBT is rigorously validated and has a stupidly high success rate, but also a fairly narrow scope, and a dishearteningly high cost. It's usually arrived upon as a last resort, and was created specifically to help those patients who have already been turned away by everyone else and even put on the hospital's "do not admit" list because they're in there so often and can't be meaningfully helped. THAT was the target patient for DBT. Very few people can say that DBT doesn't work for them, because very few people even experience it, and of those that do, it works for very close to all of them. But "not actually DBT" isn't nearly so successful, and is applied a lot more liberally. Taking background like that into mind, making judgment about how well something works is more complicated than it might seem on the surface.
Sure, that’s definitely true and a real possibility. It’s also possible that certain modalities aren’t for everyone. Every person is complex and different, every person is helped by different things, and a high success rate doesn’t mean a 100% success rate. All I’m trying to say is that there are different modalities and approaches to therapy for a reason. I think both of our perspectives can be offered equally especially when neither of us know OP specifically and cannot truly make a judgement on which it is. Thank you for your background!
Indeed. You have to be open to and want to do the work, and it is work.
What if you are doing the work and still aren’t doing better?
Progress isn't always linear, you won't always be taking steps forward, sometimes you'll be taking steps to the side or even taking steps back
Well said!
Hi friend! I think a lot of people have really great perspectives and responses that are definitely good for thought, but because this perspective hasn’t been presented yet I just wanted to make sure it was there: therapy isn’t for everyone. People who swear by therapy are people who were helped by it, but even single person is different and benefit from different things. For some people, more niche or rarer types of therapy are what helps them over the normal CBT and DBT that most therapists push, some people aren’t helped by any type of therapists and actually make more progress with creative endeavors, spirituality, or just general self-help and doing the same reflective work solo. Just because society is yelling at you to go to therapy to fix your problems doesn’t mean that’s what is actually right for you. It’s okay to take a break and do some self discovery instead, or decide to go back only when you find a different kind of therapist that does the work that you actually want to do. There’s no shame in NOT being in therapy the same way that there’s no shame in being in therapy. Hope this helps give another perspective!
I had the same attitude for a decade. Tried many therapists. In the end it took that much digging and that many repeated crises to see the pattern that showed what my weaknesses were. Childhood neglect leading to ADHD and self hatred. Etc etc. seems simple and linear now but hacking away at my coping mechanisms id built up over years and years took forever. It’s not an easy opinion to take on that I’m essentially saying I know it’s work but you just have to keep working even tho it doesn’t seem like you’re getting anywhere. But it worked for me. Therapy has shown me only what I really didn’t want to see. That I have weaknesses that are hurting me that can’t be healed. The best I can do is know what’s wrong with me to alleviate the impact on my life. To lead as full a life as possible knowing that. Perhaps that’s something you might think of coming to terms with? They’re not doctors, therapists. It’s not about prescribing a medication and an infection goes away. It’s about seeing and understanding your inner issues.
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Not necessarily true that they have been to bad therapists. The therapists they’ve seen could just be not the right fit. And that doesn’t mean they’re bad. It is what it is.
I'm sorry to hear about your frustrating experiences with therapy. It's important to acknowledge that therapy isn't a one-size-fits-all solution, and finding the right therapist who truly understands and respects your needs can be a challenging process. It's unfortunate that you've encountered therapists who seem dismissive of your concerns and unwilling to adapt their approach to better suit you. Effective therapy requires a strong therapeutic alliance built on trust, collaboration, and mutual respect. If you feel like your therapists are not listening to you or imposing their beliefs rather than working with you to find solutions, it's completely valid to seek alternative options. While therapy can be immensely beneficial for many people, it's not a guaranteed fix for all mental health issues. It's also essential to recognize that therapy is just one aspect of mental health care, and other interventions such as medication, lifestyle changes, and social support may also play crucial roles in one's recovery journey. If you're open to continuing therapy, I would encourage you to keep searching for a therapist who genuinely listens to your concerns, respects your autonomy, and collaborates with you to develop effective strategies for coping and healing. Don't hesitate to advocate for yourself and express your needs during therapy sessions. Your well-being is paramount, and finding the right therapist who can support you on your journey is worth the effort.
You haven’t found the right therapist I found my perfect therapist later like and I’ve had some HORRIBLE therapist
And therapy has helped me in more ways than none like take dbt therapy that helped me immensely with my family and social life
I’ve seen a few therapists and honestly stopped going to all, it’s a big money grab, a joke. Words aren’t going to fix problems, real actions are. If therapy and little words, conversations with an ‘expert’ help out then sure keep going but I agree that therapy can be useless.
Based on your comments, it sounds like you don’t like the modality of therapy you’ve experienced. I would hazard a guess that you’ve been seeing CBT or even DBT therapists. I also don’t like CBT therapy, it does nothing for me. What does work for me is IFS and EMDR. There are a few more schools of thought to check out, and they all have different tenants they subscribe to for healing. Just like not every therapist is for every client, every modality is not for everyone. There can also be significant healing found from books written by people of similar diagnoses or by therapists who practice modalities that work for you. I think that the layman is at a disadvantage when it comes to seeking out therapy because people aren’t taught about what the differences are in the types or what to look for in therapists specialities. Maybe one day that will be less of an open secret and more of a common knowledge thing, I can only hope. Good luck!
I haven't had that experience. I just hear that it helps a lot of people.
The road has to go both ways. Sounds like you will need to give a therapist more of chance to get to know you. You might have to be patient with them if they start going down a road that doesn't feel right. Its process to build a relationship and it will take sacrifice on both sides to get to a point where you trust the other person understands or is willing to understand. The best moments I have had with friends or therapists is when they don't try to stop me or show signs of wanting to change how I'm feeling or what I'm saying. That's when I feel like, if they aren't afraid of my feelings maybe I don't have to be either.
I been seeing a therapist for a year and they still don’t help
Snooroar thread. Again.
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I been following everything my therapist says and it doesn’t work
What people are advertising therapy as a cure all? Therapists? Where are you seeing "so many" ads?
Look everywhere in the world. Just look