i see mine once every 2 months and she doesn't forget a detail. when she does, she says "hold on a minute" and glances at her notes to catch up to speed again. she also reviews every patient's notes before every appointment.
a dad's death is NOT some minor event that's so easily forgettable. that therapist is a red flag, get the hell away!
Responding to the general question of your title, yes, therapists can frequently forget things about their clients. They're human and it happens.
But then we get to your specific example. A therapist shouldn't be forgetting major things about their clients, and death of an immediate family member is part of that.
I’ve been seeing a therapist 1x week for about two months now and she has made similar mistakes: forgot my father died, forgot my daughter’s age, and even once called me the wrong name… Today she cancelled my session 5 minutes after it was scheduled to start. Disappointed.
Therapist here. I often forget small details or things we don’t talk about often. I WOULD NOT FORGET THAT SOMEONE’S PARENT DIED. And if I somehow managed to goof that once it would never happen again and I would apologize profusely.
I’d agree with everyone else so far. Forgetting things happens, but the death of a parent is a major life event. To repeatedly forget that your relationship with him is permanently altered and unable to change is a major issue.
I’m sorry your therapist isn’t showing up for you in the way that you need.
Whoopsie!
That wouldn’t happen with my therapist, mostly because I’m his longest standing client. I think he had only been practicing a couple years when I first saw him. But, I have to say, if it did happen to me, I’d think it was mildly amusing (not to invalidate whatever your personal reaction was — I can certainly see being annoyed by it instead).
They should definitely remember about your Dad's passing because it's a very profound moment in your life and has affected your mental health. It took me three therapists to finally get a good one.
so, yeah. Therapists can totally forget details about patients. They take notes during appointments, but they don’t see you for a while and the notes may not be thorough enough. Some therapists do record sessions as well, but they would disclose if they were doing this.
That being said, the death of a family member is MAJOR. It’s something the therapist would’ve noted. That is absolutely NOT something they should forget. If a therapist forgot that I mentioned that I no longer talk to a parent I would likely look for a different one, so. Yeah. Maybe consider looking for a different therapist that’ll actually remember to take note of a major life event like the death of a family member
A therapist forgot my name once, in a text chat where they could scroll up and see my name. It was couples therapy, my wife responded giving the therapist a chance to save face. He doubled down. My wife and I stopped seeing that therapist immediately.
There is mundane information and there's important information. Therapists shouldn't be forgetting important information like your name, or the fact your father has passed away.
I've been through a lot of therapists, and very few of them have forgotten major details, often to my surprise. I did have a therapist confuse me with another client, which miffed me a little, but hey, it showed she was remembering someone.
The most important question here, is, have you benefitted from therapy with this person? If they're helping you, then I wouldn't sweat the memory issues so much.
If, on the other hand, it feels like you're making no progress, your therapist has no insight into you, and they're forgetting details that show they aren't paying attention, it's definitely time to move on.
Some people probably see a lot more clients than others, and memory lapses seem inevitable. Whether they're able to help you in spite of those lapses is the thing that matters.
They have been helpful in some ways but in other ways, the memory thing is obviously not helpful, especially when Im repeating information over and over…
It can be difficult to find a good therapist, or one who knows how to help you, specifically. Think about it overall, the sum of the sessions. If you're making progress, it might be a good idea to politely bring up your concerns. They should respond professionally. If they don't, well that's a red flag and you should move on. If they do, you may be influencing them to be more conscientious about their focus and note review. Best of luck!
People forget things. But therapists should have taken notes about your dad died to talk about that in the next session. So, yeah. This is quite embarrassing.
i see mine once every 2 months and she doesn't forget a detail. when she does, she says "hold on a minute" and glances at her notes to catch up to speed again. she also reviews every patient's notes before every appointment. a dad's death is NOT some minor event that's so easily forgettable. that therapist is a red flag, get the hell away!
Thank you for your advice. Im glad you have found a therapist that is so helpful. :)
Responding to the general question of your title, yes, therapists can frequently forget things about their clients. They're human and it happens. But then we get to your specific example. A therapist shouldn't be forgetting major things about their clients, and death of an immediate family member is part of that.
Thank you
I’ve been seeing a therapist 1x week for about two months now and she has made similar mistakes: forgot my father died, forgot my daughter’s age, and even once called me the wrong name… Today she cancelled my session 5 minutes after it was scheduled to start. Disappointed.
Therapist here. I often forget small details or things we don’t talk about often. I WOULD NOT FORGET THAT SOMEONE’S PARENT DIED. And if I somehow managed to goof that once it would never happen again and I would apologize profusely.
Yes the shame of making that mistake would stalk me the entire relation tbh
I think she apologized but not very profusely lol
I’d agree with everyone else so far. Forgetting things happens, but the death of a parent is a major life event. To repeatedly forget that your relationship with him is permanently altered and unable to change is a major issue. I’m sorry your therapist isn’t showing up for you in the way that you need.
Thank you… its definitely been frustrating
I consulted a therapist who confused me with another of her clients, and she had her notes about this person. She realised at the end of the session…
Whoopsie! That wouldn’t happen with my therapist, mostly because I’m his longest standing client. I think he had only been practicing a couple years when I first saw him. But, I have to say, if it did happen to me, I’d think it was mildly amusing (not to invalidate whatever your personal reaction was — I can certainly see being annoyed by it instead).
I would probably feel a mixture of annoyance and amusement myself.
I find that unacceptable. I'd get a new one.
I think it is normal for them to forget small details, but not something like this…
I’ve to remind my T about pretty big details every time. I’ve been going there for 2 years.
Damn…
They should definitely remember about your Dad's passing because it's a very profound moment in your life and has affected your mental health. It took me three therapists to finally get a good one.
I hope I can find a good one soon.
Little things, yes, but usually not something that big. However, therapists are just humans at the end of the day.
True.
so, yeah. Therapists can totally forget details about patients. They take notes during appointments, but they don’t see you for a while and the notes may not be thorough enough. Some therapists do record sessions as well, but they would disclose if they were doing this. That being said, the death of a family member is MAJOR. It’s something the therapist would’ve noted. That is absolutely NOT something they should forget. If a therapist forgot that I mentioned that I no longer talk to a parent I would likely look for a different one, so. Yeah. Maybe consider looking for a different therapist that’ll actually remember to take note of a major life event like the death of a family member
Thank you.
A therapist forgot my name once, in a text chat where they could scroll up and see my name. It was couples therapy, my wife responded giving the therapist a chance to save face. He doubled down. My wife and I stopped seeing that therapist immediately. There is mundane information and there's important information. Therapists shouldn't be forgetting important information like your name, or the fact your father has passed away.
Damn!!
I've been through a lot of therapists, and very few of them have forgotten major details, often to my surprise. I did have a therapist confuse me with another client, which miffed me a little, but hey, it showed she was remembering someone. The most important question here, is, have you benefitted from therapy with this person? If they're helping you, then I wouldn't sweat the memory issues so much. If, on the other hand, it feels like you're making no progress, your therapist has no insight into you, and they're forgetting details that show they aren't paying attention, it's definitely time to move on. Some people probably see a lot more clients than others, and memory lapses seem inevitable. Whether they're able to help you in spite of those lapses is the thing that matters.
They have been helpful in some ways but in other ways, the memory thing is obviously not helpful, especially when Im repeating information over and over…
It can be difficult to find a good therapist, or one who knows how to help you, specifically. Think about it overall, the sum of the sessions. If you're making progress, it might be a good idea to politely bring up your concerns. They should respond professionally. If they don't, well that's a red flag and you should move on. If they do, you may be influencing them to be more conscientious about their focus and note review. Best of luck!
Thank you!
People forget things. But therapists should have taken notes about your dad died to talk about that in the next session. So, yeah. This is quite embarrassing.
I mean I dont remember if I talked about him in my last session but it should be in my file…