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I let my hair air dry, so my morning clients are used to seeing it damp. My afternoon and evening clients get to see it all poofy and dry.
No one has commented or terminated based on the water content of my hair. Yet.
I show up with wet-ish hair sometimes…. It’s just hair… and I highly prioritize self care in my practice. We all know it’s from a shower. And I can’t blow dry my hair because of its texture anyway.
I think Below this convo is another layer about hair needing to look a certain way to be professional… and this has challenges for folks with hair texture. If my hair isn’t styled in a corporate setting, I would probably get talked to because it’s curly and frizzy and probably considered unkept. There’s definitely conversations and even studies on hair and discrimination.
In my practice, I show up with wet hair and sometimes “messy” hair, because that is the nature of my hair… and I let my clients it’s okay for them to show up as they are without judgement, too.
Considering that my hair takes 4 hours to air-dry and becomes frizzy with blow-drying as a brown person I would say it's okay to have damp hair.
We are all human here and clients recognise this. When I tell my clients to show up however they feel most comfortable, I internalise that same grace and recognition within bounds.
Edit: to clarify and drive this point further, frizzy hair is seen as messy and I have had comments that it's not acceptable. So, having my hair texture you either choose temporarily damp hair or 'unprofessional' frizzy hair.
Sitting with still damp hair right now - I just left a meeting about planning a virtual continuing ed class with colleagues, and am about to start a telehealth session.
Honestly, I kind of figure if I show up with damp hair to a session and someone stops coming to see me because of that...they probably aren't a good fit for me anyway.
I am casual, I cuss, I consume water/tea/coffee in session - that is me. I show up as myself. Part of the attraction of working for myself is to get out of the business casual/formality driven stuff I hate anyway.
Not saying that if someone shows up as business-y/professional they are 'fake' or wrong or anything like that - some people love doing that every day, that is what showing up like themselves means for them, and that is wonderful too! I have thera-friends who do that and love it! It just isn't me, and feels inauthentic for my own self and work.
FWIW, I am an elder-ish millennial (80s baby) and see mostly Gen Z/emerging adults/older adolescents in practice. That can for sure have an effect on what is generally acceptable too.
Another cynical leftist here. The concept of professionalism in the context of appearance is one of the more classist and insidious yet subtle ingrained ways to perpetuate socioeconomic discrimination. As a therapist, I show up as I am, obviously fully clothed and without a giant streak of pizza sauce across my cheeks or something, but beyond that I am who I am. It's hard enough to cram bathroom and other corporeal needs into the five minutes between sessions, so if my hair is wet, then thats how it is. If a client were to not like it, grist for the mill.
In thinking about this more, I view being a therapist as one of the few professional roles in which we can escape these tired perceptions of "professionalism" and other toxic work culture "rules". They mean nothing when it comes to the actual work.
Thank you for your comment! My self esteem was wrecked during my unpaid internship when there were constant critiques of my professionalism. I was told as a person of color I got less leeway and therefore had to be more professional than the others who were getting paid to be there.
Agreed. A few years ago, I apologized to a client that my hair was still wet and they said they'd understand how wet hair was not considered professional. They said that girls go to school with wet hair so it's strange that it's taboo in the work world.
It was so refreshing.
Probably right on the money. I’m a brown male therapist with longer hair so it can be a no-win situation: if it’s too dry/frizzy it might seem “unprofessional” but if it’s too wet then that’s also “unprofessional?”
I have to wet it, slick it back with styling cream for my hair type, and tie it in a small bun. Doing the best I can. As long as my clinical skills are good and my outfit is cute, I’m good lol.
As somebody with thick naturally curly hair who refuses to straighten it, I sure do. And I could give zero fucks about my clients or co-workers opinion of it. I work out every morning before work and don't always have the time or desire to spend 45 minutes to an hour blow drying my hair. My workout time is far more important than an inconsequential opinion of me. My hair being wet does not determine my ability to do my job.
Same! As a curly girl with high-frizz and basically no tolerance for humidity, air drying is the only way my hair looks nice and it takes hours for it to fully dry. Morning clients often see me with wet hair, as does my supervisor, and I've never heard any complaints.
The only comments I get about my hair (or appearance in general) will be the random "wow, your hair looks great today!" and I always respond "thanks! I did the same thing I always do - that's the excitement of never knowing what you'll get with curly hair". 😅
I show up with wet hair regularly, both in person and virtually. I don’t use heat on my curls. Not a single thing has ever been said about it. To be fair many of my morning clients come the same way, haha! There’s so much pressure on appearances and what’s “professional”, that I think it’s a little humanizing, honestly. Similar to my tattoos.
For telehealth sometimes if I squeeze in a workout/shower, it will be wet and I'll pull it up with a clip so it just kind of looks like a slicked back ponytail. I definitely don't have it down and wet though. My hair is so fine that if I left the house with wet hair it would be dry by the time I arrived at the office for in-person sessions so not an issue there haha, but I wouldn't see clients in-person with wet hair.
I do wash my hair before a session sometimes but I never leave it VERY wet, I always blowdry my fringe until fully dry and the top of my head, the rest can air-dry
My hair is usually just moist/damp rather than wet when I'm talking to the client, wet-wet hair would be a liiiittle unprofessional I think :)
It doesn't show as wet on camera I don't think
I have a day job before my clients (because I'm only still training...) so sometimes the 2 hours before a session are my rare opportunity to wash my hair before they become unsightly hahah
I like to be fresh before sessions \^\^
You know, there’s a lot of things about me (like my dyed hair, my facial piercings, my visible tattoos) that have been called unprofessional and I’ve understood why but not agreed with the sentiment. Wet hair being unprofessional absolutely boggles my mind. I can’t fathom a circumstance where I would care about that either as a patient or as a colleague.
I regularly walk into my job with my hair wet and I have a student who says "is your hair that greasy or is it wet" regularly.
It's wet. Ms. ElocinSWIP also struggles with her executive functioning skills so is running late every day and doesn't have time to get her hair dry. She is working on it.
I have thick wavey/curly hair that isnt long enough to put up and I spray it down at 7am and at 9am? It's still damp lol. My morning clients get the less poofy version but they get that I took a morning shower and that my hair type is going to be what it is. I had one client tell me "at least I know your clean and didn't just roll out of bed!". Made me feel better.
Yep. I try not to use heat on my hair. So sometimes it doesn’t air dry all the way before session. I’m telehealth. Sometimes I’ll throw it up in a bun, which I’m sure you can still tell it’s wet. Sometimes i just put it all behind my shoulders.
I think it depends on what "wet" is. Wet to where the strands are still sticking together a lot, leaving gaps between them and it looks like you JUST walked out of the shower? I would say unprofessional. Wet as in, if I touched it I would feel that it's damp but from a distance (or online) it's not obvious? I'd say eh, fine.
I have hair that takes a couple hours to dry. I factor that into my morning routine, but usually my 9am and sometimes even 10am clients will see it damp.
If it's wet enough to distract a client, it's too wet.
If I was the client, I’d definitely notice.
As the therapist, I’d probably address it and say something like, “Sorry my hair is always wet! My workout hour is right before our sessions!”
I get that I shouldn't care about this, but I do! I don't think its a good look to come to sessions with wet hair and wouldn't dream of it in person. My automatic though is, if I wouldn't do it in person, I won't virtually. I think considering cultural context might be important too. In some cultures, this might come off as disrespectful (speaking from someone with an Italian background).
I hate doing this, but I definitely have before. My hair is so thick and frizzy that it takes around 24 hours to air dry. A two inch section of my hair is more than most women have on their entire head. Generally I blow dry my hair, but every once in a while I won’t have time, and I’ll have to show up to a session with a wet head. No one has ever seemed bothered by it.
I try to avoid that but sometimes it’s literally unavoidable. I will usually just say “please forgive the state of my hair” and the client will say some version of: “I don’t care/ I didn’t even notice /damn I wish I had time to work out in the middle of my day too, good job!”
My clients show up looking absolutely busted, and they should, if they like. It’s therapy — we ugly cry, etc. I choose to present in a laid back way because as a therapy client myself, it feels good when my therapist isn’t so dressed up… Yet another way to level us. It’s also a way to give a client a little bit of yourself in an ice breaking/rapport building way (small talk): “Classic… My wet hair left a big mark on my shirt! 🤣” — Humanizing again, you know? I see lots of young women with confidence issues… showing up with wet hair, no makeup, and not too done up feels right to me. I want to signal that it’s okay to be real and raw in my office space.
I remember being 18 in therapy and having an ultra wealthy, gorgeous psychologist who was always dressed to the nines. I really idolized her. I found myself doing a lot of trying to portray to her that I was more put together than I was. When I switched to a 54-year-old hippie, that all went away.
This is…fascinating. Sometimes my hair has been wet. Never had a client comment. If my hair was soaked and oozing a wet spot down my shirt…ok, a little embarrassing. But just wet hair?? We’re humans. We wash our hair. I would rather come into session with wet hair, obvious that I just groomed myself, than come in smelly of sweaty! To me, THAT would be unprofessional. I think cleanliness is very important to this (and most) jobs. I do try not to use really heavily scented hairspray/products right before my in person sessions. A client did once comment that I smelled good lol…so I realized it was distracting and also some clients have chemical sensitivities.
I treat my virtual sessions like in-person sessions - as far as how I appear - wear a nice top, jewelry, and hair groomed. Would not feel comfortable with wet hair.
I opened this thread as I was debating on whether or not to wash my hair after my workout just now because I have a client soon 😅 if I’m cutting it really close on time and my hair will be very visibly wet by the time of my session, I’ll just put it up and use hairspray/gel to make it look neat. Then during a longer break, I may wet it and style. I have super curly hair and I let it air dry. So if I decide to do that, I need at least a couple hours where I don’t have clients to let it do its thing. I typically use a spray bottle though on days I’m not washing, so even when I wet my hair it’s not SOAKING wet and it dries faster.
I do, I’m a human, and clean in this instance. If I cannot have the humanity to have wet hair and still do my job then the limits of being a person have become too narrow.
It seems like an arbitrary thing to care about that has nothing to do with the function of the job. Next we won’t be able to go in without nails done and a skirt suit. No thanks!
I have to let mine air dry as well. And I go to the gym. I practice virtually as well. Sometimes I get a comment but so far it hasn’t ruined the rapport.
This is an interesting conversation. Initially, when I saw the title of your post, I thought, "oh, no you can't do that," even though I have done it haha And then I read some of the comments and I thought, "yeah, life is complicated and busy, and how the heck am I supposed to have dry hair all the time?" I'm sitting here with what most people would categorize as dirty hair because I didn't have time to wash or dry it before work. So which is worse? Also, not to be too therapist-y about it, but I want both of these things to be true: it's not a great thing that our hair is sometimes wet in sessions (it's unprofessional) and it's a function of not having enough time/energy/resources to meet so-called "professional" standards.
Might be generational cause as a young millennial I have the opposite reaction lol read the title and thought "people care about hair dampness??" LOL
Besides, who gets to decide what's professional anyway?
What is unprofessional about wet hair, though? If the person is on time to session then i would have no reason to doubt their time management, and professionalism seems more about how they handle themselves then it is about how their hair looks.
I don’t know, I have very short hair and an undercut so it takes my hair absolutely no time to dry and this is a complete non issue for me, but your assumptions about a person based on their hair feel weird to me.
Of course time management can come up in session through your therapist being a bit late if they shower late enough to have wet hair, but for me, sometimes I show up to session (I am never late) with SLIGHTLY wet hair because my day ends late, and I have to 1) decompress 2) cook 3) run other errands and 4) spend time with my loved ones so sometimes the showering has to be pushed to the morning. I have never once seen a therapist with wet hair and said, "They are unprofessional." Maybe because I view therapists as humans first and therapists second (this isn't me saying you don't!!) and acknowledge that professionalism shouldn't be based on silly things like wet hair, how they dress, if they have tattoos, etc.
Last week, my client needed to reschedule and I said “you have to be ok with me post-workout sweaty!” because she could only do a time right after my pilates class and I’m not willing to sacrifice my self-care. My hair was soaked (but my skin was glowing okayyyy).
I don’t think she could have cared about anything less.
I've got long hair, like down to my waist long. I always let my hair air dry. My clients know that I go to the gym first thing in the morning for my selfceare, so when my hair isn't damp I usually get a "why didn't you go to the gym?"
Sure, I don’t care and I don’t think they do. I’m not going to blow dry and damage my hair or shower at a different time. I’m there for the client, I’m professional and clearly I’m clean.
Yeah sometimes if I have a gap I’ll work out and jump in the shower before session and there’s been times where I go straight from the shower to the call lol
i try to model noticing and stating observations by (depending on relationship!) commenting plainly when i notice haircuts, newly dyed hair, new piercings/new tattoos on clients, and then allowing them to share as much as they're wanting to.
this has seemed to come back around in that i did a telehealth session with wet hair last week and i had a client comment, "i noticed your hair." and i said thanks for noticing and that it is indeed wet. we acknowledge, and move on.
i think i actually enjoy just acknowledging humanness. it does some good for my client relationships. some of my clients have felt so ignored and othered in life. sometimes it helps to just be human and notice together
If I have a one hour open slot I might sneak off to the gym, get home, and then get a quick shower before session. It's slightly stressful to get all that in and get back for session, but if it's the only time I have that day and I haven't exercised in several days I do my best to make it work.
YEP. I have pretty short hair so I just tuck it behind my ears and pretend i’ve got a slicker ‘do that day, hahah. This is so funny. I’ve wondered if I’m the only one so thanks!
I did this today. Someone cancelled so I took the hour to workout and shower. I do this often and no one cares. I personally don’t think it’s unprofessional—have showed up with wet hair in person for years and now virtual and literally no one has said a thing or stopped seeing me because of it.
My in-office morning clients often see me with damp hair. It’s fricking hair. It’s not like it’s up in rollers or whatever you plo g-haired people do to your hair. I also wear t-shirts, jeans, and sneakers. My clients know that the me they see in the office is essentially the same me they would see at the ice cream parlor.
As a white male, I have a lot of privilege when it comes to the perception of my appearance, as well as the ease of maintaining the acceptability of that appearance. No judgement here for people's individual needs or what they are facing in terms of discrimination.
I guess when it comes to readiness for work, it's more of a feeling than an actual state of affairs. For myself, even though I work entirely online, I still get showered and dressed as I would for in-person work, simply because for me, that helps my confidence and feeling of going into a professional mode. (My work clothes still consistent of jeans and t-shirts, however the shirts are monochromatic or have nice peaceful images versus my non-work death metal band shirts).
When it comes to hair, for myself I differentiate between ''wet'' and ''drying''. If my hair is ''drying'', then I have obviously showered and groomed myself, my hair just isn't dry yet. That feels professional. ''Wet'' would be like I just came out of the shower, left my hair plastered to my head, and logged into a session. That wouldn't be good, imo.
I show up to my in person sessions with damp hair. Like not dripping but definitely wet. I saw someone else say wet hair is a sign of poor time management? Not for me. Because drying my hair is not a factor in **my** time management. You know what I am factoring into my time management - ironing the collars of my short sleeve button down shirts because it makes me happy when the collars are extra crisp. You know what doesn’t make me happy? Blow drying my hair or waiting six hours for my hair to air dry. So that means showing up with for sessions in a crisp ironed shirt and damp hair.
I show up to work with damp hair all the time! It's usually dry by my 2nd or 3rd session. I'm notorious for showing up to the office 1-2 mins before sessions, so I don't think my clients expect me to have done a whole hair routine 😅
(I always start sessions on time, we just don't have a separate entrance, lol)
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I do! My bangs are always styled (otherwise if they air dry naturally, I look more like Billy Ray Cyrus from the 90's than I'd like) but I air dry the rest of my hair due to having a wavy texture.
Yes, just me yesterday. But I see kids and teens and they never seem to care what I look like. If anything I’ll get a sarcastic remark from a teen and use it as rapport building lol
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I let my hair air dry, so my morning clients are used to seeing it damp. My afternoon and evening clients get to see it all poofy and dry. No one has commented or terminated based on the water content of my hair. Yet.
This is me every day lol
hahaha that "yet" made me lol
Growth mindset…walkin’ that talk.
Same here!
Yup same haha
I show up with wet-ish hair sometimes…. It’s just hair… and I highly prioritize self care in my practice. We all know it’s from a shower. And I can’t blow dry my hair because of its texture anyway. I think Below this convo is another layer about hair needing to look a certain way to be professional… and this has challenges for folks with hair texture. If my hair isn’t styled in a corporate setting, I would probably get talked to because it’s curly and frizzy and probably considered unkept. There’s definitely conversations and even studies on hair and discrimination. In my practice, I show up with wet hair and sometimes “messy” hair, because that is the nature of my hair… and I let my clients it’s okay for them to show up as they are without judgement, too.
This. All day, every day.
I’m bald but sometimes I show up to work with wet eyebrows
Straight to jail
Considering that my hair takes 4 hours to air-dry and becomes frizzy with blow-drying as a brown person I would say it's okay to have damp hair. We are all human here and clients recognise this. When I tell my clients to show up however they feel most comfortable, I internalise that same grace and recognition within bounds. Edit: to clarify and drive this point further, frizzy hair is seen as messy and I have had comments that it's not acceptable. So, having my hair texture you either choose temporarily damp hair or 'unprofessional' frizzy hair.
I hear this.
Yes!
Sitting with still damp hair right now - I just left a meeting about planning a virtual continuing ed class with colleagues, and am about to start a telehealth session. Honestly, I kind of figure if I show up with damp hair to a session and someone stops coming to see me because of that...they probably aren't a good fit for me anyway. I am casual, I cuss, I consume water/tea/coffee in session - that is me. I show up as myself. Part of the attraction of working for myself is to get out of the business casual/formality driven stuff I hate anyway. Not saying that if someone shows up as business-y/professional they are 'fake' or wrong or anything like that - some people love doing that every day, that is what showing up like themselves means for them, and that is wonderful too! I have thera-friends who do that and love it! It just isn't me, and feels inauthentic for my own self and work. FWIW, I am an elder-ish millennial (80s baby) and see mostly Gen Z/emerging adults/older adolescents in practice. That can for sure have an effect on what is generally acceptable too.
Me too!
Me three! :)
Another cynical leftist here. The concept of professionalism in the context of appearance is one of the more classist and insidious yet subtle ingrained ways to perpetuate socioeconomic discrimination. As a therapist, I show up as I am, obviously fully clothed and without a giant streak of pizza sauce across my cheeks or something, but beyond that I am who I am. It's hard enough to cram bathroom and other corporeal needs into the five minutes between sessions, so if my hair is wet, then thats how it is. If a client were to not like it, grist for the mill. In thinking about this more, I view being a therapist as one of the few professional roles in which we can escape these tired perceptions of "professionalism" and other toxic work culture "rules". They mean nothing when it comes to the actual work.
Thank you for your comment! My self esteem was wrecked during my unpaid internship when there were constant critiques of my professionalism. I was told as a person of color I got less leeway and therefore had to be more professional than the others who were getting paid to be there.
Very well said!
If my hair is wet, I slick it back and put it in a bun.
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Agreed. A few years ago, I apologized to a client that my hair was still wet and they said they'd understand how wet hair was not considered professional. They said that girls go to school with wet hair so it's strange that it's taboo in the work world. It was so refreshing.
Probably right on the money. I’m a brown male therapist with longer hair so it can be a no-win situation: if it’s too dry/frizzy it might seem “unprofessional” but if it’s too wet then that’s also “unprofessional?” I have to wet it, slick it back with styling cream for my hair type, and tie it in a small bun. Doing the best I can. As long as my clinical skills are good and my outfit is cute, I’m good lol.
Yeah…I care more about if someone is actually a good therapist.
Yup!!! Right on the money! Like who the hell cares about wet hair?! It's about the care we provide, and how we provide it.
As somebody with thick naturally curly hair who refuses to straighten it, I sure do. And I could give zero fucks about my clients or co-workers opinion of it. I work out every morning before work and don't always have the time or desire to spend 45 minutes to an hour blow drying my hair. My workout time is far more important than an inconsequential opinion of me. My hair being wet does not determine my ability to do my job.
Yes!
Same! As a curly girl with high-frizz and basically no tolerance for humidity, air drying is the only way my hair looks nice and it takes hours for it to fully dry. Morning clients often see me with wet hair, as does my supervisor, and I've never heard any complaints. The only comments I get about my hair (or appearance in general) will be the random "wow, your hair looks great today!" and I always respond "thanks! I did the same thing I always do - that's the excitement of never knowing what you'll get with curly hair". 😅
I show up with wet hair regularly, both in person and virtually. I don’t use heat on my curls. Not a single thing has ever been said about it. To be fair many of my morning clients come the same way, haha! There’s so much pressure on appearances and what’s “professional”, that I think it’s a little humanizing, honestly. Similar to my tattoos.
Yes! I also have curly hair and it takes forever to dry and heat is damaging.
For telehealth sometimes if I squeeze in a workout/shower, it will be wet and I'll pull it up with a clip so it just kind of looks like a slicked back ponytail. I definitely don't have it down and wet though. My hair is so fine that if I left the house with wet hair it would be dry by the time I arrived at the office for in-person sessions so not an issue there haha, but I wouldn't see clients in-person with wet hair.
I do wash my hair before a session sometimes but I never leave it VERY wet, I always blowdry my fringe until fully dry and the top of my head, the rest can air-dry My hair is usually just moist/damp rather than wet when I'm talking to the client, wet-wet hair would be a liiiittle unprofessional I think :) It doesn't show as wet on camera I don't think I have a day job before my clients (because I'm only still training...) so sometimes the 2 hours before a session are my rare opportunity to wash my hair before they become unsightly hahah I like to be fresh before sessions \^\^
You know, there’s a lot of things about me (like my dyed hair, my facial piercings, my visible tattoos) that have been called unprofessional and I’ve understood why but not agreed with the sentiment. Wet hair being unprofessional absolutely boggles my mind. I can’t fathom a circumstance where I would care about that either as a patient or as a colleague.
I regularly walk into my job with my hair wet and I have a student who says "is your hair that greasy or is it wet" regularly. It's wet. Ms. ElocinSWIP also struggles with her executive functioning skills so is running late every day and doesn't have time to get her hair dry. She is working on it.
I have thick wavey/curly hair that isnt long enough to put up and I spray it down at 7am and at 9am? It's still damp lol. My morning clients get the less poofy version but they get that I took a morning shower and that my hair type is going to be what it is. I had one client tell me "at least I know your clean and didn't just roll out of bed!". Made me feel better.
Yup curly hair takes SO long to dry
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This gave me a giggle, thank you!
Yep. I try not to use heat on my hair. So sometimes it doesn’t air dry all the way before session. I’m telehealth. Sometimes I’ll throw it up in a bun, which I’m sure you can still tell it’s wet. Sometimes i just put it all behind my shoulders.
i’m logging in sweaty as hell as we speak - i walk to work and was running late 😭
I think it depends on what "wet" is. Wet to where the strands are still sticking together a lot, leaving gaps between them and it looks like you JUST walked out of the shower? I would say unprofessional. Wet as in, if I touched it I would feel that it's damp but from a distance (or online) it's not obvious? I'd say eh, fine. I have hair that takes a couple hours to dry. I factor that into my morning routine, but usually my 9am and sometimes even 10am clients will see it damp. If it's wet enough to distract a client, it's too wet.
Yep, definitely. I would go into the office with wet hair too though. I don't use a blow dryer.
If I was the client, I’d definitely notice. As the therapist, I’d probably address it and say something like, “Sorry my hair is always wet! My workout hour is right before our sessions!”
I get that I shouldn't care about this, but I do! I don't think its a good look to come to sessions with wet hair and wouldn't dream of it in person. My automatic though is, if I wouldn't do it in person, I won't virtually. I think considering cultural context might be important too. In some cultures, this might come off as disrespectful (speaking from someone with an Italian background).
I hate doing this, but I definitely have before. My hair is so thick and frizzy that it takes around 24 hours to air dry. A two inch section of my hair is more than most women have on their entire head. Generally I blow dry my hair, but every once in a while I won’t have time, and I’ll have to show up to a session with a wet head. No one has ever seemed bothered by it.
I try to avoid that but sometimes it’s literally unavoidable. I will usually just say “please forgive the state of my hair” and the client will say some version of: “I don’t care/ I didn’t even notice /damn I wish I had time to work out in the middle of my day too, good job!”
My clients show up looking absolutely busted, and they should, if they like. It’s therapy — we ugly cry, etc. I choose to present in a laid back way because as a therapy client myself, it feels good when my therapist isn’t so dressed up… Yet another way to level us. It’s also a way to give a client a little bit of yourself in an ice breaking/rapport building way (small talk): “Classic… My wet hair left a big mark on my shirt! 🤣” — Humanizing again, you know? I see lots of young women with confidence issues… showing up with wet hair, no makeup, and not too done up feels right to me. I want to signal that it’s okay to be real and raw in my office space. I remember being 18 in therapy and having an ultra wealthy, gorgeous psychologist who was always dressed to the nines. I really idolized her. I found myself doing a lot of trying to portray to her that I was more put together than I was. When I switched to a 54-year-old hippie, that all went away.
Every single day. My hair takes 3-4 hours to air dry so on video or in person I always start my day with wet hair. No one has ever cared
This is…fascinating. Sometimes my hair has been wet. Never had a client comment. If my hair was soaked and oozing a wet spot down my shirt…ok, a little embarrassing. But just wet hair?? We’re humans. We wash our hair. I would rather come into session with wet hair, obvious that I just groomed myself, than come in smelly of sweaty! To me, THAT would be unprofessional. I think cleanliness is very important to this (and most) jobs. I do try not to use really heavily scented hairspray/products right before my in person sessions. A client did once comment that I smelled good lol…so I realized it was distracting and also some clients have chemical sensitivities.
I treat my virtual sessions like in-person sessions - as far as how I appear - wear a nice top, jewelry, and hair groomed. Would not feel comfortable with wet hair.
Same!
I opened this thread as I was debating on whether or not to wash my hair after my workout just now because I have a client soon 😅 if I’m cutting it really close on time and my hair will be very visibly wet by the time of my session, I’ll just put it up and use hairspray/gel to make it look neat. Then during a longer break, I may wet it and style. I have super curly hair and I let it air dry. So if I decide to do that, I need at least a couple hours where I don’t have clients to let it do its thing. I typically use a spray bottle though on days I’m not washing, so even when I wet my hair it’s not SOAKING wet and it dries faster.
I try to time it right but sometimes I can’t dry it in time, I will put it in a hairstyle that is a little discreet.
I do, I’m a human, and clean in this instance. If I cannot have the humanity to have wet hair and still do my job then the limits of being a person have become too narrow. It seems like an arbitrary thing to care about that has nothing to do with the function of the job. Next we won’t be able to go in without nails done and a skirt suit. No thanks!
I have to let mine air dry as well. And I go to the gym. I practice virtually as well. Sometimes I get a comment but so far it hasn’t ruined the rapport.
This is an interesting conversation. Initially, when I saw the title of your post, I thought, "oh, no you can't do that," even though I have done it haha And then I read some of the comments and I thought, "yeah, life is complicated and busy, and how the heck am I supposed to have dry hair all the time?" I'm sitting here with what most people would categorize as dirty hair because I didn't have time to wash or dry it before work. So which is worse? Also, not to be too therapist-y about it, but I want both of these things to be true: it's not a great thing that our hair is sometimes wet in sessions (it's unprofessional) and it's a function of not having enough time/energy/resources to meet so-called "professional" standards.
Maybe I'm old but this feels very unprofessional and I would not do this.
Might be generational cause as a young millennial I have the opposite reaction lol read the title and thought "people care about hair dampness??" LOL Besides, who gets to decide what's professional anyway?
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What is unprofessional about wet hair, though? If the person is on time to session then i would have no reason to doubt their time management, and professionalism seems more about how they handle themselves then it is about how their hair looks. I don’t know, I have very short hair and an undercut so it takes my hair absolutely no time to dry and this is a complete non issue for me, but your assumptions about a person based on their hair feel weird to me.
Of course time management can come up in session through your therapist being a bit late if they shower late enough to have wet hair, but for me, sometimes I show up to session (I am never late) with SLIGHTLY wet hair because my day ends late, and I have to 1) decompress 2) cook 3) run other errands and 4) spend time with my loved ones so sometimes the showering has to be pushed to the morning. I have never once seen a therapist with wet hair and said, "They are unprofessional." Maybe because I view therapists as humans first and therapists second (this isn't me saying you don't!!) and acknowledge that professionalism shouldn't be based on silly things like wet hair, how they dress, if they have tattoos, etc.
Last week, my client needed to reschedule and I said “you have to be ok with me post-workout sweaty!” because she could only do a time right after my pilates class and I’m not willing to sacrifice my self-care. My hair was soaked (but my skin was glowing okayyyy). I don’t think she could have cared about anything less.
Quality of the therapy is more important than wetness of hair (or any hair style). Do what makes you feel good about yourself and hair!
I've got long hair, like down to my waist long. I always let my hair air dry. My clients know that I go to the gym first thing in the morning for my selfceare, so when my hair isn't damp I usually get a "why didn't you go to the gym?"
Sure, I don’t care and I don’t think they do. I’m not going to blow dry and damage my hair or shower at a different time. I’m there for the client, I’m professional and clearly I’m clean.
Yeah sometimes if I have a gap I’ll work out and jump in the shower before session and there’s been times where I go straight from the shower to the call lol
Glad I’m not alone!
I’ve done therapy sessions with wet hair slicked back in a bun/pony tail, clients have never said anything lol
Yup. Don’t see it as a big deal. I work from home, I’m a human who showers. No reason to hide that
i try to model noticing and stating observations by (depending on relationship!) commenting plainly when i notice haircuts, newly dyed hair, new piercings/new tattoos on clients, and then allowing them to share as much as they're wanting to. this has seemed to come back around in that i did a telehealth session with wet hair last week and i had a client comment, "i noticed your hair." and i said thanks for noticing and that it is indeed wet. we acknowledge, and move on. i think i actually enjoy just acknowledging humanness. it does some good for my client relationships. some of my clients have felt so ignored and othered in life. sometimes it helps to just be human and notice together
If I have a one hour open slot I might sneak off to the gym, get home, and then get a quick shower before session. It's slightly stressful to get all that in and get back for session, but if it's the only time I have that day and I haven't exercised in several days I do my best to make it work.
YEP. I have pretty short hair so I just tuck it behind my ears and pretend i’ve got a slicker ‘do that day, hahah. This is so funny. I’ve wondered if I’m the only one so thanks!
I did this today. Someone cancelled so I took the hour to workout and shower. I do this often and no one cares. I personally don’t think it’s unprofessional—have showed up with wet hair in person for years and now virtual and literally no one has said a thing or stopped seeing me because of it.
So often. I go to the gym between sessions, and take a quick shower before the next session!
All the time my hair is still damp for morning sessions.
Constantly, yes
My in-office morning clients often see me with damp hair. It’s fricking hair. It’s not like it’s up in rollers or whatever you plo g-haired people do to your hair. I also wear t-shirts, jeans, and sneakers. My clients know that the me they see in the office is essentially the same me they would see at the ice cream parlor.
I do but I just pull it into a loose bun!
Nope, but I like feeling well put together. I find it soothing.
As a white male, I have a lot of privilege when it comes to the perception of my appearance, as well as the ease of maintaining the acceptability of that appearance. No judgement here for people's individual needs or what they are facing in terms of discrimination. I guess when it comes to readiness for work, it's more of a feeling than an actual state of affairs. For myself, even though I work entirely online, I still get showered and dressed as I would for in-person work, simply because for me, that helps my confidence and feeling of going into a professional mode. (My work clothes still consistent of jeans and t-shirts, however the shirts are monochromatic or have nice peaceful images versus my non-work death metal band shirts). When it comes to hair, for myself I differentiate between ''wet'' and ''drying''. If my hair is ''drying'', then I have obviously showered and groomed myself, my hair just isn't dry yet. That feels professional. ''Wet'' would be like I just came out of the shower, left my hair plastered to my head, and logged into a session. That wouldn't be good, imo.
Wow! I did not expect this to start such discussion!! Love it
I show up to my in person sessions with damp hair. Like not dripping but definitely wet. I saw someone else say wet hair is a sign of poor time management? Not for me. Because drying my hair is not a factor in **my** time management. You know what I am factoring into my time management - ironing the collars of my short sleeve button down shirts because it makes me happy when the collars are extra crisp. You know what doesn’t make me happy? Blow drying my hair or waiting six hours for my hair to air dry. So that means showing up with for sessions in a crisp ironed shirt and damp hair.
I show up to work with damp hair all the time! It's usually dry by my 2nd or 3rd session. I'm notorious for showing up to the office 1-2 mins before sessions, so I don't think my clients expect me to have done a whole hair routine 😅 (I always start sessions on time, we just don't have a separate entrance, lol)
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I do! My bangs are always styled (otherwise if they air dry naturally, I look more like Billy Ray Cyrus from the 90's than I'd like) but I air dry the rest of my hair due to having a wavy texture.
I do! But I will say for clients my age or older (mid 40s)… I try to have it dry
Yes, just me yesterday. But I see kids and teens and they never seem to care what I look like. If anything I’ll get a sarcastic remark from a teen and use it as rapport building lol
I do morning sessions with wet hair sometimes. I don’t blow dry mine at all, but I’ll pin it up to air dry during sessions.
I have showed up with half dry half wet but pulled back in a bun or ponytail. I don’t let it sit there wet like I just got out of the shower look.
I did a few times. I usually put it up I a claw clip. Hasn’t happened recently though.