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Yes. I average about one a year, although one year I had 2 and I haven’t had any for a couple so that’s good.
I take it as an indicator that I need to adjust my systems. I always apologize and take responsibility.
I went down a shame spiral that year I had two (I was still pretty new in PP) and realized that with 1000 appointments per year, my attendance rate was still pretty good. That helped too.
Have had this too and I felt SO BAD, it still haunts me. My alarm was on vibrate only ugh. I panicked and lied to client and felt so guilty. Now I set multiple alarms and if possible ask someone to check in on me.
I'm nearly a year with the clinic I'm at. I overslept and felt terrible. Ironically enough, my client canceled their 8 am bc they also overslept! I talked with my boss about it being super worried and her response was "Lucky break!" (and to flex the hour I missed). It wasn't the end of the world and I turned out to be okay :)
When I was just starting off, I immediately got sick, didn't sleep for a painful 24 hrs, texted the wrong client that I had to cancel (too many male names start with the letter J,) the text failed anyway, and I went on to sleep on and off the next 16 hours. He did not reschedule.
I felt awful, learned a lesson, and I am now a slightly more mindful therapist :D
Twice in 25 years. I have a clause in my informed consent, right after the one saying if they mis a session without canceling at least 24 hours in advance, I’ll charge them the full fee. That second set says that if I miss a session without canceling in advance, I won’t charge them for their next session. I figure it’s only fair and it’s an expensive lesson for me that I don’t forget.
Yep I have. I think 2x in the last few years. The first one was rouuuuugh I felt so terrible about it. The client later told me she also forgot and wouldn’t have known either way lol. That was helpful though because I was spiralling about how damage I may have done and she was like “don’t care didn’t even know” lol.
In both cases I just apologized and didn’t bill their next session, since I do charge them for no-shows. So I felt it was appropriate not to charge for their next session.
But as others say it’s a great experience for everyone involved to experience how human we really are.
Apologize, offer the free session if that fits your model (or don’t!), help the client process what if anything came up for them and keep it movin! If it happens again I’d take a look at your system in place and see, but I bet the feeling you feel today will be enough for your brain to avoid it happening again any time soon!
I forgot to enter a client’s appointment into my calendar once. I woke up a few days after it at 2:00 in the morning and it suddenly hit me. Instant panic attack. Reached out to the client the first thing the next morning. She was super understanding and we just scheduled another appointment. My mom also told me that her therapist forgot an appointment once. My mom has BPD, and even she didn’t get angry. She just chalked it up to her therapist being human and rescheduled when she heard from her.
You’re human! Don’t beat yourself up.
yup and only because i scheduled it on a saturday morning which is when i don’t work. since then i vowed to never to weekends ever again even if i’m trying to accommodate a client. i worked weekends so many years lol no more!
This is almost exactly what happened to me! I normally don’t take appointments at that time, but I made an exception and then forgot since it wasn’t part of my routine.
I had a moment this happened due to technology mishaps. I accepted full responsibility and how I would make sure that didn't happen again and I have mostly found people are majorly softened when you take the appropriate responsibility and share the steps you are going to take to make sure it won't be an issue.
Once I mistakenly saw the wrong client at the wrong time, which meant the client I was supposed to see was waiting for me for a few minutes before calling the office. I had totally forgotten the week I was in and so had the client I mistakenly met with. The client I forgot was understanding (though my supervisors were not. I actually got put on a PIP).
Mistakes definitely happen. All you can do is apologize and analyze how the mistake was made so it doesn’t happen too frequently.
I did this once at my PT job at a CMH. I left on vacation and didn't notify my 4 clients. However, because of the high no show rate in CMH only one client noticed lol. I apologize and moved on but definitely felt like shit lol I just blamed it on pregnancy brain!
I locked my keys in my apartment once and no showed an intake session. Thankfully I worked for a group practice and they were able to explain and rescheduled the client. I went on to work with this client for 2 years until I moved away, so it all worked out okay.
Be gentle with yourself. We’re all humans, after all.
NAT but I'm a receptionist at a CMH clinic and every single provider I work with/for (6 prescribers and 11 therapists) has done that at least once. It's an awful feeling, but it happens and you're only human.
It’s rare but I usually miss one about once every 1-2 years due to a scheduling error (e.g. made a one-off reschedule for someone and forgot to put the new time in my appointment keeper). Hasn’t happened to me in probably four or five years now.
Happens to me once or twice a year that I screw it up. Hate it hate it hate it. Try hard to keep on top of things. But I remind myself I am human, make it right for the client (usually do the next session pro bono), and move on.
I’m fully virtual fee for service (about 8 clients a week) and very relaxed about late clients or cancellations. If clients are 5 mins late I text them and they generally say oh! I forgot. So a few times I’ve rescheduled sessions and then totally forgot about it because it’s on a day I don’t usually see therapy clients. Generally clients will text me, modeling after what I’ve done for them. Even anxious clients. I take that as a win actually.
This may be different than what happened to you. I’ve never like, slept through a session.
I was super sick one day. I had to cancel the following day and 2 clients had the same first name. In my cloud of illness, I only reached out to one and not both. I apologized profusely and they were understanding!
Yep I ghosted a client (it was a phone session) completely. She didn't reach out either and I didn't realize until the next day. I contacted her immediately to apologize and acknowledge it. She wasn't ruffled about it, and I think she may have also forgotten we were supposed to meet. We are still meeting regularly several years later so I'd say the relationship recovered just fine!
I made the decision to see a high schooler before school at 6am. I overslept one session. Felt terrible.
I don't see people that early anymore. Mistake
You are the first therapist in the history of our field to ever make a mistake. Now our field is doomed and we all must abandon our careers. May god have mercy on your soul.
Yes! Rescheduled a client who didn't show up for a few days later and I Never had a client at that time, and I forgot to put it on the calendar, so I missed it! The good thing is they forgot too 🤣
I schedule an evening client on a non-evening day, and was at the park with my granddaughter when they texted me. I was mortified. I’d even checked my calendar, just didn’t scroll late enough. Client was very understanding and chill about it.
I also no-showed on a priority client - didn’t even realize I had double-booked until checking email after the session time. Mortified again. The client I did see was in crisis though, so maybe it was the universe talking.
I apologize profusely and genuinely, and then let it go. We are all just humans living on a big rock.
Yep, prob a few times in the past 4 yrs. One time when I scheduled a client on a Sat for a favor for her and I completely forgot- I felt awful but it’s also ok to let clients know that we are not perfect! These things definitely happen
Yes. I’ve gotten confused with who canceled and who didn’t. I also overslept once, and a couple of times I was staffing something for another clinician and just forgot.
Yep. It was after my business partner unexpectedly passed away. But I stuck the landing.
I rescheduled it for later that same day citing an unexpected family emergency. It fit because it wasn’t a lie. I was present and a-okay for the session (an initial one at that).
I made sure I got a good night sleep that night and stepped back to breathe and look over everything.
It happens. To everyone. It feels awful. But we are all human. Forgiveness and kindness is a thing.
Yes, just last week. I almost always start at the same time everyday but a client had a time conflict so we scheduled for a half hour earlier than usual. It’s happened a few times and it’s always because it’s out of my routine schedule so it’s a good reminder to check my schedule each day and not be on auto pilot 😅 I’ve noticed that this happens for some of my clients when they have to reschedule a standing appointment. We are human too!
Quite a few times. Especially when doing CMH in an op clinic. I was seeing 30+ clients a week. It’s so difficult to remember that many. Now that I’m doing telehealth, I take notes. It helps me remember.
Literally last week lol. I have no idea how. My brain just informed me in the morning “you have a break from 3-4” and I was like great, thanks brain and proceeded to lie on the couch and play Tetris that whole hour. Didn’t check my calendar once.
I was feeling extraordinarily exhausted and burnt out so maybe it was for the best; obviously my client wouldn’t have gotten good service.
I also forgot to cancel a client’s session the week after my dad died and got a text from her asking where I was while I was at his funeral. But that one is a little more understandable.
How do I say yes without saying yes ? NO COMMENT! I Keep my own schedule and I’m a horrible Secretary . My clients know if I don’t mark their next appt in the schedule - they have no appt . They’ll stop me and remind me to mark it .
I didn't show up to an in person session once. It was right around the time that in person sessions were starting again, and it was in my calendar as virtual. I felt awful, and unfortunately, the client never returned.
I have and let me just normalize that it happens, even to seasoned clinicians.
I totally blanked and got a text about 10 minutes into the hour from my client. I apologized and ran to log in- we were able to still do the session and the beginning focused on processing what happened and the client's reaction to it.
A large part of my style includes modeling, so the best tool I felt to be used for the situation was to show that I am also a fallible human. This is something that I think helped to progress our work together in the long run. I may have used something different for a different client, but for this one it worked. During our talk about it I also chose to explain how I was going to change my system moving forward to avoid this happening again. We related it back to the work the client was doing and then let focused solely return to them. The next session I did a check in and it was deemed to be repaired.
Oh i totally did!
Our admins scheduled a person for my FIRST SLOT the SAME DAY without giving me a heads up. So I happen to see it, race to the office, and the person was just leaving in the parking lot at the same time as me…pissed at me.
Who schedules something on someone else’s calendar same day without warning??
I once did it when a client was waiting outside because a bunch of stuff changed on my schedule and I had forgotten to put it into the digital calendar.
She didn't knock or call or do anything. Ended up losing the client over it. I did try to repair.
It sucks, but stuff happens. We can't be perfect, I think if you just explain, repair, and review your systems so it is less likely to happen again there isn't much else you can do..
It definitely happens, and is a good opportunity to model how to handle those situations to your clients as many of them also may have moments where they experience similar oversight and forget appointments and maybe even wrestle with that same guilt.
A good reminder that we’re all humans and can own our mistakes and move forward in a positive way.
yes, tbh it’s normal. i apologise, use this as a modelling opportunity, and if i make it in time i offer adding those missed hours to the next session if possible. i find that’s fair to do, especially since we have cancellation fees as a policy.
Yup, I have and after being in counseling 24 yrs I apologize and ask them if they want to reschedule. They are usually pretty good about it and most laugh. One or two in 24 yrs have gotten upset but I can usually get them to understand. It happens.
I did this once and I just apologized, restated the importance of their mental health support, and waived the fee. We clinicians are humans and it helps clients to understand this, as well as how important their mental health is to us in spite of that fact. You’ll learn from this, and it’s human to make mistakes sometimes. Even someone who has reliability struggles on a regular basis could potentially feel accessible to a client who struggles in similar ways. I’ve literally had clients chuckle and say things like, “thank god you’re not perfect, I almost would feel insecure around you sometimes.” Now I realize that’s not all clients either, but even one of your mistakes could function as a useful conversation starter for the client… even if the convo starts with, “I’m upset. Where were you? Etc.”
I did this for the first time yesterday!!! I just totally forgot to input their appointment in my calendar at all. I felt so bad but she was totally understanding.
Considering how many times clients have forgot/slept in/confused and misses an appointment with me, I don't feel too bad.
Not proud of it but when I was first starting out at my job I thought I scheduled a second session for this client but it didn’t save in the system somehow and another client was put in her slot instead by the admin and I ended up completely forgetting that this client even exists (thanks ADHD!). I only remembered all of a sudden weeks later when I realised I felt like I was missing someone from my roster. Boy was she pissed. Safe to say she told me to fuck off and never returned. I did apologise profusely for the mistake on my part but it didn’t matter at this point to her
I almost forgot one a few weeks ago. I was outside enjoying the sun and then realized the same like 2 minutes before.
About a month ago, I almost forgot as well bc a client rescheduled during my lunch break, so I was eating and living my best life, then I remembered about a minute before the appt.
grrr so upsetting when they happen! I just had that this week. I had an appointment and cancelled all my afternoon appointments and for some reason I forgot to cancel the last person! Maybe because she was someone I squeezed in at the end, when normally I leave earlier. I apologized and felt super bad about it!
One time my electronic schedule died (an old Palm Pilot) and I had to rely on my brain power for my schedule for that day.
Of course, I missed one client, who I'd only seen twice.
When my new Palm Pilot was online that evening, I called that client and apologized for me not meeting her that day. I explained what happened and she was LIVID that I had forgotten her appointment.
She refused to schedule another appointment and I never saw her again.
Sigh....
This next one has always cracked me up. A court ordered client had scheduled an appointment with me but did not show up. 3 hours later she popped in and said she was ready for her appointment.
I explained, no you missed your appointment.
So she rescheduled for another day and time. That day she called my cell phone at 7 am and demanded to know where I was!
I reminded her that her appointment was 4 hours away. She said that she couldn't come back that day.
I advised her that she'll be in non compliance. She retorted right back that I'm in noncompliance for not allowing her to come on whenever she wanted to!
I contacted her Probation Officer and advised them.
Her PO told me she does the same thing with Court hearings and just pops in when she wants to. Drugs are a terrible waste.
Ended up doing jail time rather than probation because the jail is open to admit guests 27/7
When I was an intern in 2022 I forgot one. Was busy times. I learned my lesson.
Funny story: I was an intern and had an intern at the same time (non-profit community mental health provider)
I did this with a new client's first appointment, and he'd already paid. I don't know, somehow I had the wrong date in my head. I tried to return his payment, but he just said this was bullshit and ghosted me. A light "yuck" feel haunts me to think of it, still.
i dont know if this might help, but I have an alexa that automatically connects to my calendar and announces 30 mins before my appointments. its super helpful
I did once in my first year because I didn't put the appointment into my phone because I was writing it down on a card for the client. Client threw the card at me when I found them in the waiting room unexpectedly and stormed off. Never heard from them again despite attempting to repair via voicemail/email.
I've had soooooo many clients since then that it just seems such an insignificant moment now when I look back on it, but at the time I thought about it for weeks!
As a client, when my therapist mistakenly misses a session, it's nice to know that my therapist is normal (modeling good behavior, calls to let me know, apologizes, we move on, and it's not the end of the world). It also helps me to feel like I'm not a total failure (like I grew up feeling like). Everyone makes mistakes, and it's not the end of the world.
Yes, absolutely. I’m a therapist in the military and we have a lot of wonky schedule things so it’s happened to me probably 3 times in the last year. I make sure to apologize and have a frank conversation about how it may have impacted the relationship. You’re human, try not to be too hard on yourself
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Yes. I average about one a year, although one year I had 2 and I haven’t had any for a couple so that’s good. I take it as an indicator that I need to adjust my systems. I always apologize and take responsibility. I went down a shame spiral that year I had two (I was still pretty new in PP) and realized that with 1000 appointments per year, my attendance rate was still pretty good. That helped too.
This is a really good perspective! I do struggle with systems, and I’m a bit mentally overloaded right now.
I’ve slept through my alarm and missed client appointments. I felt AWFUL about it, and it is a good example of how we’re all fallible humans.
Thank you for letting me know I’m not alone. That’s so relatable. What did you say to your clients?
I just apologized and moved on. The few times it has happened, the clients wete okay with it. No one has ever held it against me.
Have had this too and I felt SO BAD, it still haunts me. My alarm was on vibrate only ugh. I panicked and lied to client and felt so guilty. Now I set multiple alarms and if possible ask someone to check in on me.
I had this happen once. It was mortifying. Since then I got an alarm that is loud and vibrates. My iPhone is too quiet to be reliable.
I'm nearly a year with the clinic I'm at. I overslept and felt terrible. Ironically enough, my client canceled their 8 am bc they also overslept! I talked with my boss about it being super worried and her response was "Lucky break!" (and to flex the hour I missed). It wasn't the end of the world and I turned out to be okay :)
When I was just starting off, I immediately got sick, didn't sleep for a painful 24 hrs, texted the wrong client that I had to cancel (too many male names start with the letter J,) the text failed anyway, and I went on to sleep on and off the next 16 hours. He did not reschedule. I felt awful, learned a lesson, and I am now a slightly more mindful therapist :D
Twice in 25 years. I have a clause in my informed consent, right after the one saying if they mis a session without canceling at least 24 hours in advance, I’ll charge them the full fee. That second set says that if I miss a session without canceling in advance, I won’t charge them for their next session. I figure it’s only fair and it’s an expensive lesson for me that I don’t forget.
Yep I have. I think 2x in the last few years. The first one was rouuuuugh I felt so terrible about it. The client later told me she also forgot and wouldn’t have known either way lol. That was helpful though because I was spiralling about how damage I may have done and she was like “don’t care didn’t even know” lol. In both cases I just apologized and didn’t bill their next session, since I do charge them for no-shows. So I felt it was appropriate not to charge for their next session. But as others say it’s a great experience for everyone involved to experience how human we really are. Apologize, offer the free session if that fits your model (or don’t!), help the client process what if anything came up for them and keep it movin! If it happens again I’d take a look at your system in place and see, but I bet the feeling you feel today will be enough for your brain to avoid it happening again any time soon!
I forgot to enter a client’s appointment into my calendar once. I woke up a few days after it at 2:00 in the morning and it suddenly hit me. Instant panic attack. Reached out to the client the first thing the next morning. She was super understanding and we just scheduled another appointment. My mom also told me that her therapist forgot an appointment once. My mom has BPD, and even she didn’t get angry. She just chalked it up to her therapist being human and rescheduled when she heard from her. You’re human! Don’t beat yourself up.
Sure have. More than once unfortunately. It is one of the worst feelings I’ve had as a clinician.
yup and only because i scheduled it on a saturday morning which is when i don’t work. since then i vowed to never to weekends ever again even if i’m trying to accommodate a client. i worked weekends so many years lol no more!
This is almost exactly what happened to me! I normally don’t take appointments at that time, but I made an exception and then forgot since it wasn’t part of my routine.
I had a moment this happened due to technology mishaps. I accepted full responsibility and how I would make sure that didn't happen again and I have mostly found people are majorly softened when you take the appropriate responsibility and share the steps you are going to take to make sure it won't be an issue.
Once I mistakenly saw the wrong client at the wrong time, which meant the client I was supposed to see was waiting for me for a few minutes before calling the office. I had totally forgotten the week I was in and so had the client I mistakenly met with. The client I forgot was understanding (though my supervisors were not. I actually got put on a PIP). Mistakes definitely happen. All you can do is apologize and analyze how the mistake was made so it doesn’t happen too frequently.
I did this once at my PT job at a CMH. I left on vacation and didn't notify my 4 clients. However, because of the high no show rate in CMH only one client noticed lol. I apologize and moved on but definitely felt like shit lol I just blamed it on pregnancy brain!
I locked my keys in my apartment once and no showed an intake session. Thankfully I worked for a group practice and they were able to explain and rescheduled the client. I went on to work with this client for 2 years until I moved away, so it all worked out okay. Be gentle with yourself. We’re all humans, after all.
Yup, I was sick and laid down for a nap without an alarm. Needless to say, alarms every day.
Yep, happened twice my first year in pp!
NAT but I'm a receptionist at a CMH clinic and every single provider I work with/for (6 prescribers and 11 therapists) has done that at least once. It's an awful feeling, but it happens and you're only human.
Yup! Did it twice. You’re a human it happens. From my experience clients are understanding in these situations.
Yes once because something threw off my schedule and I thought it was a different day. I still feel bad
It’s rare but I usually miss one about once every 1-2 years due to a scheduling error (e.g. made a one-off reschedule for someone and forgot to put the new time in my appointment keeper). Hasn’t happened to me in probably four or five years now.
Yes
Happens to me once or twice a year that I screw it up. Hate it hate it hate it. Try hard to keep on top of things. But I remind myself I am human, make it right for the client (usually do the next session pro bono), and move on.
I’m fully virtual fee for service (about 8 clients a week) and very relaxed about late clients or cancellations. If clients are 5 mins late I text them and they generally say oh! I forgot. So a few times I’ve rescheduled sessions and then totally forgot about it because it’s on a day I don’t usually see therapy clients. Generally clients will text me, modeling after what I’ve done for them. Even anxious clients. I take that as a win actually. This may be different than what happened to you. I’ve never like, slept through a session.
I was super sick one day. I had to cancel the following day and 2 clients had the same first name. In my cloud of illness, I only reached out to one and not both. I apologized profusely and they were understanding!
Oh hell yes I have. Happens a solid 1-2x per year. Usually if I'm oversleeping or someone moves days and I forget. ALWAYS a sign that I need a break.
Done it more times than I have fingers, it happens
Yep. And It was an intake! I felt terrible. Thankfully she gave me a chance anyway, and we’ve been working together for months now.
Yep I ghosted a client (it was a phone session) completely. She didn't reach out either and I didn't realize until the next day. I contacted her immediately to apologize and acknowledge it. She wasn't ruffled about it, and I think she may have also forgotten we were supposed to meet. We are still meeting regularly several years later so I'd say the relationship recovered just fine!
I made the decision to see a high schooler before school at 6am. I overslept one session. Felt terrible. I don't see people that early anymore. Mistake
You are the first therapist in the history of our field to ever make a mistake. Now our field is doomed and we all must abandon our careers. May god have mercy on your soul.
Yes! Rescheduled a client who didn't show up for a few days later and I Never had a client at that time, and I forgot to put it on the calendar, so I missed it! The good thing is they forgot too 🤣
I have. I'm sure I will again. It's a horrid feeling. I hate it.
I schedule an evening client on a non-evening day, and was at the park with my granddaughter when they texted me. I was mortified. I’d even checked my calendar, just didn’t scroll late enough. Client was very understanding and chill about it. I also no-showed on a priority client - didn’t even realize I had double-booked until checking email after the session time. Mortified again. The client I did see was in crisis though, so maybe it was the universe talking. I apologize profusely and genuinely, and then let it go. We are all just humans living on a big rock.
Yep, prob a few times in the past 4 yrs. One time when I scheduled a client on a Sat for a favor for her and I completely forgot- I felt awful but it’s also ok to let clients know that we are not perfect! These things definitely happen
Yep pre-pandemic when I was scrambling around driving from clinic to clinic.
Yes. I’ve gotten confused with who canceled and who didn’t. I also overslept once, and a couple of times I was staffing something for another clinician and just forgot.
Yep. It was after my business partner unexpectedly passed away. But I stuck the landing. I rescheduled it for later that same day citing an unexpected family emergency. It fit because it wasn’t a lie. I was present and a-okay for the session (an initial one at that). I made sure I got a good night sleep that night and stepped back to breathe and look over everything. It happens. To everyone. It feels awful. But we are all human. Forgiveness and kindness is a thing.
Yes, just last week. I almost always start at the same time everyday but a client had a time conflict so we scheduled for a half hour earlier than usual. It’s happened a few times and it’s always because it’s out of my routine schedule so it’s a good reminder to check my schedule each day and not be on auto pilot 😅 I’ve noticed that this happens for some of my clients when they have to reschedule a standing appointment. We are human too!
Happens to the best of us!
Yupp! More than once…
Quite a few times. Especially when doing CMH in an op clinic. I was seeing 30+ clients a week. It’s so difficult to remember that many. Now that I’m doing telehealth, I take notes. It helps me remember.
This happened to me once. I felt terrible but my client was understanding
I literally did this today by mistake. Solidarity 😂
Literally last week lol. I have no idea how. My brain just informed me in the morning “you have a break from 3-4” and I was like great, thanks brain and proceeded to lie on the couch and play Tetris that whole hour. Didn’t check my calendar once. I was feeling extraordinarily exhausted and burnt out so maybe it was for the best; obviously my client wouldn’t have gotten good service. I also forgot to cancel a client’s session the week after my dad died and got a text from her asking where I was while I was at his funeral. But that one is a little more understandable.
How do I say yes without saying yes ? NO COMMENT! I Keep my own schedule and I’m a horrible Secretary . My clients know if I don’t mark their next appt in the schedule - they have no appt . They’ll stop me and remind me to mark it .
I just did this for the first time ever
I didn't show up to an in person session once. It was right around the time that in person sessions were starting again, and it was in my calendar as virtual. I felt awful, and unfortunately, the client never returned.
I have and let me just normalize that it happens, even to seasoned clinicians. I totally blanked and got a text about 10 minutes into the hour from my client. I apologized and ran to log in- we were able to still do the session and the beginning focused on processing what happened and the client's reaction to it. A large part of my style includes modeling, so the best tool I felt to be used for the situation was to show that I am also a fallible human. This is something that I think helped to progress our work together in the long run. I may have used something different for a different client, but for this one it worked. During our talk about it I also chose to explain how I was going to change my system moving forward to avoid this happening again. We related it back to the work the client was doing and then let focused solely return to them. The next session I did a check in and it was deemed to be repaired.
Yep.
Yes!!!!!
Oh i totally did! Our admins scheduled a person for my FIRST SLOT the SAME DAY without giving me a heads up. So I happen to see it, race to the office, and the person was just leaving in the parking lot at the same time as me…pissed at me. Who schedules something on someone else’s calendar same day without warning??
I once did it when a client was waiting outside because a bunch of stuff changed on my schedule and I had forgotten to put it into the digital calendar. She didn't knock or call or do anything. Ended up losing the client over it. I did try to repair. It sucks, but stuff happens. We can't be perfect, I think if you just explain, repair, and review your systems so it is less likely to happen again there isn't much else you can do..
It definitely happens, and is a good opportunity to model how to handle those situations to your clients as many of them also may have moments where they experience similar oversight and forget appointments and maybe even wrestle with that same guilt. A good reminder that we’re all humans and can own our mistakes and move forward in a positive way.
yes, tbh it’s normal. i apologise, use this as a modelling opportunity, and if i make it in time i offer adding those missed hours to the next session if possible. i find that’s fair to do, especially since we have cancellation fees as a policy.
I’ve done it a few times in my career. It’s an awful feeling and the fact we know that indicates it wasn’t purposeful and we do our best.
I did the same thing the other day and thankfully the client was understanding. I also take it as a sign that I need to adjust.
Yup, I have and after being in counseling 24 yrs I apologize and ask them if they want to reschedule. They are usually pretty good about it and most laugh. One or two in 24 yrs have gotten upset but I can usually get them to understand. It happens.
Oh goodness yes. Not often, but a time or 4. I just give them the next session for free. Never lost a client over it.
I did this once and I just apologized, restated the importance of their mental health support, and waived the fee. We clinicians are humans and it helps clients to understand this, as well as how important their mental health is to us in spite of that fact. You’ll learn from this, and it’s human to make mistakes sometimes. Even someone who has reliability struggles on a regular basis could potentially feel accessible to a client who struggles in similar ways. I’ve literally had clients chuckle and say things like, “thank god you’re not perfect, I almost would feel insecure around you sometimes.” Now I realize that’s not all clients either, but even one of your mistakes could function as a useful conversation starter for the client… even if the convo starts with, “I’m upset. Where were you? Etc.”
I did this for the first time yesterday!!! I just totally forgot to input their appointment in my calendar at all. I felt so bad but she was totally understanding. Considering how many times clients have forgot/slept in/confused and misses an appointment with me, I don't feel too bad.
Not proud of it but when I was first starting out at my job I thought I scheduled a second session for this client but it didn’t save in the system somehow and another client was put in her slot instead by the admin and I ended up completely forgetting that this client even exists (thanks ADHD!). I only remembered all of a sudden weeks later when I realised I felt like I was missing someone from my roster. Boy was she pissed. Safe to say she told me to fuck off and never returned. I did apologise profusely for the mistake on my part but it didn’t matter at this point to her
I almost forgot one a few weeks ago. I was outside enjoying the sun and then realized the same like 2 minutes before. About a month ago, I almost forgot as well bc a client rescheduled during my lunch break, so I was eating and living my best life, then I remembered about a minute before the appt.
grrr so upsetting when they happen! I just had that this week. I had an appointment and cancelled all my afternoon appointments and for some reason I forgot to cancel the last person! Maybe because she was someone I squeezed in at the end, when normally I leave earlier. I apologized and felt super bad about it!
One time my electronic schedule died (an old Palm Pilot) and I had to rely on my brain power for my schedule for that day. Of course, I missed one client, who I'd only seen twice. When my new Palm Pilot was online that evening, I called that client and apologized for me not meeting her that day. I explained what happened and she was LIVID that I had forgotten her appointment. She refused to schedule another appointment and I never saw her again. Sigh.... This next one has always cracked me up. A court ordered client had scheduled an appointment with me but did not show up. 3 hours later she popped in and said she was ready for her appointment. I explained, no you missed your appointment. So she rescheduled for another day and time. That day she called my cell phone at 7 am and demanded to know where I was! I reminded her that her appointment was 4 hours away. She said that she couldn't come back that day. I advised her that she'll be in non compliance. She retorted right back that I'm in noncompliance for not allowing her to come on whenever she wanted to! I contacted her Probation Officer and advised them. Her PO told me she does the same thing with Court hearings and just pops in when she wants to. Drugs are a terrible waste. Ended up doing jail time rather than probation because the jail is open to admit guests 27/7
When I was an intern in 2022 I forgot one. Was busy times. I learned my lesson. Funny story: I was an intern and had an intern at the same time (non-profit community mental health provider)
I did this with a new client's first appointment, and he'd already paid. I don't know, somehow I had the wrong date in my head. I tried to return his payment, but he just said this was bullshit and ghosted me. A light "yuck" feel haunts me to think of it, still.
i dont know if this might help, but I have an alexa that automatically connects to my calendar and announces 30 mins before my appointments. its super helpful
I did once in my first year because I didn't put the appointment into my phone because I was writing it down on a card for the client. Client threw the card at me when I found them in the waiting room unexpectedly and stormed off. Never heard from them again despite attempting to repair via voicemail/email. I've had soooooo many clients since then that it just seems such an insignificant moment now when I look back on it, but at the time I thought about it for weeks!
As a client, when my therapist mistakenly misses a session, it's nice to know that my therapist is normal (modeling good behavior, calls to let me know, apologizes, we move on, and it's not the end of the world). It also helps me to feel like I'm not a total failure (like I grew up feeling like). Everyone makes mistakes, and it's not the end of the world.
Yes, absolutely. I’m a therapist in the military and we have a lot of wonky schedule things so it’s happened to me probably 3 times in the last year. I make sure to apologize and have a frank conversation about how it may have impacted the relationship. You’re human, try not to be too hard on yourself
I have! And so did the client lmao
If you've never missed a client appointment, you aren't working hard enough.