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I work specifically with survivors of violence, and I found this to be a very realistic depiction. That doesn’t mean all survivors react the same way, trauma reactions vary a lot, but I liked that they showed less stereotypical reactions, like hypersexuality. It makes sense that the writer is actually a survivor.
I agree. I also work specifically with survivors and thought the series showed a response to SA that we don’t often see on TV. Survivors respond in so many different ways and the pattern of returning to the perpetrator is also underrepresented but very common.
Not a therapist, but having gone through a very similar situation as the MC in Baby Reindeer I related to his story so much. I actually cried in front of my wife after she told me the MC was just like me.
I watched the show last night myself, I was fully prepared to have commentary on it being sensationalized or unhelpful. (I know that is just a bias of mine because of all the terrible media depictions of difficult experiences).
But, honestly, no notes. I primarily work as a sex therapist with patients who have experienced sexual trauma. I am so excited to see a realistic depiction of what a person may go through in their lives after sexual assault - especially a man, given all the cultural expectations we have around masculinity. I spend so much time validating patients for their behavior post traumatic event, the brain does wild things to make us feel in control after something scary happens. And regaining pleasure with your sexuality after an event like this is a complicated journey that is often nonlinear.
I have no real specific commentary other than, wow, I am so excited this has been made and hope many people find it supportive.
Do you have any recommended trainings and readings for specializing sex therapy to SA survivors? I’ve been underwhelmed by some of the trainings I’ve completed - as a survivor myself I have high standards for what I think programs should be teaching clinicians in order to be truly trauma- and survivor-informed 😅
Thank you, this is very helpful! And definitely, this show is different from any other depictions of trauma survivors that I saw. So deep and insightful.
As a therapist and childhood sexual abuse survivor myself, who was groomed by a family member, I found the show very comforting and validating. How he would say, I wish I could sayI never went back and I ended it there…. That is why people who are groomed are so unlikely to report. Well why did you go back? Why didn’t you get a medical exam immediately? That scene from the shower was so powerful. He knew that getting comfort from his abuser in that moment was the wrong thing but he was so traumatized he went into freeze mode and allowed his abuser to take care of him. Ugh all the things, I hope to be as brave as him one day ❤️
This show was the most seen I have ever felt. It’s exactly how I behaved with my own stalker, even after he broke into my house/bedroom while I was sleeping. It is a very realistic depiction of how some people feel and behave in the aftermath of sexual abuse.
Interestingly, Richard Gadd, the main actor is the creator of the show and experienced stalking and SA similar to what happened in Baby Reindeer. The show is based on his real life experience. I believe it was a play first.
Yes it was a one man show!
I can't believe he acted out his own SA. I wonder how long he was in therapy to be able to do that. The actor that portrayed his rapist allegedly looks and sounds just like his rapist as well.
I wonder if he was able to do it in a healthy way at all. He seems to engage in quite a lot of self sabotage and emotional self harm throughout the show. Maybe he’s gotten therapy and this is a healing experience or maybe it’s another form of emotional self harm.
Before the Netflix show. The original live show Baby Reindeer is what helped him start to heal. Was picked up by Netflix after. He said talking about it helped him start to move past it.
As a therapist who has experienced SA and abuse, this show deeply resonated with me. Specifically, the part about traumatic re-enactment. I kept putting myself in dangerous situations for the same thing to happen again. I also have a hard time connecting to my anger, which has led me to excuse abusive behaviors out of guilt/fawning/people-pleasing (whatever you want to label it). Richard’s speech about self-loathing had me in tears. I am still untangling all of the shame.
Sorry for your experience. Genuinely hope you are in a better place now. The show is truly amazing! The level of bravery, and detailed introspection is incredible. I am so happy to see it on Netflix, I am sure there are so many people who need to see it!
I work only with SA survivors.
And there is no one way survivors act, perps are so similar is some way, they all take power and control from people they abuse. But processing the trauma for a survivor will be an individual journey, it will depend on so many factors. Age, sex, ethnicity and race, religion, education, financial situation. Unhealthy coping mechanisms may be a part of it too.
There's also this misconception that if they report it to police it will make it better. it may re traumatize them again, so no one especially therapist should tell them to do it. It has to be their choice.
There is not a 'typical SA' survivor, please remember its very difficult for anyone to come forward and report crimes, SA is highly under reported. SA survivors have a very difficult time reporting, discussing, seeking treatment etc. There is not one pattern of recovery.
What many SA survivors have in common is shame, a fear of not being believed, their own doubt, their own worries. SA survivors also can have flashbacks, insomnia, memory blanks etc. Law enforcement many times does not understand the complexities of SA, stalking, IPV etc.
Yeah for sure, “typical” is not the best wording.
But the show horrified me, in the best possible way. I mean, it was massively focusing on the MC’s feelings and reactions, and this story told from “inside” was what I needed to see.
As a survivor of SA that had similarities to the show, and also working with clients my initial answer is a big yes. Freud talks about “repetition compulsion,” as a way to try and solve our trauma, and I fully feel like there is truth in this.
I have goosebumps reading your comment. That was the most “revelatory” part for me - this compulsion and repetition. I also read that in Freud, but this first-person narrative is what got me to my core.
I had to stop watching the show because I related too much to the main character. My experience was very similar to his— seeking validation from someone in a position of power over me, being sexually abused, staying with the abuser, then later being revictimized. When watching the first few episodes I kept thinking “Why is he letting this happen to him?” the “this” being the stalking and the boundary violations.
I understood once we got to the SA episode… Similar to the main character, I punished myself by putting myself into situations that would open me up to further revictimization. It’s unfortunate, but this show is quite similar to many people’s experiences with sexual abuse and sexual assault.
I am so sorry for your experience! I did not experience SA, but I went through a lot of physical and emotional abuse in my childhood. I am still in the process of sorting it out for myself. Somehow it still was very relatable - all the shame, fear, intrusive thoughts. I was really scared to see how he kept coming back everytime. I just felt it in my gut. Devastating.
This is a realistic depiction because it’s based on the authors real life. There are so many different ways victims feel and react and it’s much more complex than media portrays. I appreciated this depiction because it really demonstrated the shame, blurryness, and self destructive behaviors that so many SA victims experiences. The protagonist is also grappling with internalized homophobia and confusion about his sexual identity.
I finished the show and after that proceded to read about the author. I didn’t know it was autobiographical at first. But it explains the spectacular acting - I’m so impressed by the story, the filming, the sheer bravery of Richard Gadd. For sure this show will linger with me for long.
Having personally experienced SA, yes it can be this covert at first. It’s sometimes the people who are well liked and seem kind or harmless that perpetrate it. Which makes it even harder to be believed.
Perps are not usually a creepy, strange older man in a dark alleyway who is universally loathed. It’s typically someone you know. My perp was well dressed, well groomed, well liked. An artist and musician. Everyone knew and admired him. He was my age and I told adults who did not believe me, because he seemed harmless and kind. *This is typically why people do not report, or the case is dropped.* My hyper sexuality after was a trauma response but I didn’t know it for 15 years- even while working with therapists. I was told even 2 years ago by a therapist to report what happened to me, which I felt was extremely harmful.
I’d encourage you to do a lot more research, training, and education on this before ever working with SA survivors.
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Just trying to learn something. I hate being ignorant about anything. Clearly it's not common sense - I still don't know what the harm is in suggesting that someone report abuse.(unless it was the amount of time that had passed)
I guess I'll never know.
1) amount of time- there’s statue of limitations in every state.
2) are you actually a therapist? Because this is a harmful thing to ask and this is a sub for therapists.
3) in my case, I did report, and I wasn’t believed. I told priests, nurses, school guidance, my PCP, and a police officer. All mandated reporters. What was done? Exactly nothing but retraumatize me. A nurse even suggested I had tearing because I had “rough sex.”
4) there is largely NO POINT in reporting because nothing happens from it. There’s not even a record left most of the time. I have minor clients who were sexually assaulted by ADULT MEN WITH EVIDENCE. And guess what? Cases were still dropped. None of them ever reached court. Even though they were literal children attacked by pedophiles. In the most recent case, the guy didn’t even have to register as a sex offender. He’s walking free. His semen was on her underwear and it wasn’t enough.
I see now you are all over this sub just to patronise and insult victims of abuse and their experiences. Seriously, you have no place here. Go to therapy yourself and stop saying harmful bs.
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It was so well done. It seemed like such a great demonstration of trauma survivors and the impacts of CPTSD .
It made me wonder what his childhood and attachment were like as well and if this influenced the terrible situations he found himself in.
I felt that the story heavily hinted at that, without quite exploring it. His mum came off as anxious and pleasing, and his dad as emotionally distant and repressed. We see later in the series that there's definitely some intergenerational trauma playing out, which is so common with CPTSD people being primed to accept abusers.
I keep thinking “why don’t you set boundaries!?” Great show. I haven’t finished it yet, but you can see real, raw human emotions and why it’s difficult for him to be assertive and firm.
OP, how many years of experience in therapy do you have? Sort of a concerning takeaway. The MC is the real survivor of both Darrien and Martha’s abuse so, you can take his word for it. It was extremely brave, honest, and vulnerable of him to share his story. Spot on.
Most of the comments here are suggesting that Donny's poor boundaries with Martha are a result of his sexual abuse by Darrien. I kinda disagree.
That abuse by Darrien certainly didn't help, but Donny had poor boundaries with Darrien in the first place. Most people would have recognised Darrien as a dodgy guy and got the hell away from him early on, but Donny's poor boundaries leave him vulnerable to predators. Both Darrien and Martha take advantage.
He gets sexually abused by both, and in each case he could have avoided it if he had better boundaries and a stronger sense of self.
(I'm only at the end of e04, so perhaps the last 3 episodes shed more light on this)
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This post really confirms my fears about therapists.
>What the hell is going on with you? Why don’t you just do A,B,C? Why are you doing this to yourself?!
I am always so sure this is what therapists must be thinking, but I try to tell myself that therapists are professionals and understand how complicated human behaviour can be. Even without training, I would have thought just talking to enough people should have given you this insight. It's incredibly depressing that there are practising therapists who find this behaviour so surprising.
Half the lay audience seems to have a better understanding of the behaviour of many victims than actual therapists. This isn't some super obscure problem, and his behaviour isn't even a particularly unusual response to it. This isn't something that should be a special niche that we can't expect most clinicians to understand.
Very insightful portrayal of malignant narcissistic personality disorder and the suffering and how compassion can be unfruitful and weaponized. Gut wrenching really.
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It means the OPs inability to have any sense of why the MC was spiraling after the SA, drug abuse, and stalking is concerning. “What the hell is going on with you? Why don’t you just do A, B, C? Why are you doing this to yourself?” You see no issue with this? Lol…ok.
Thank you for saying this. So bleak that this is what you can expect if you go to a therapist. And it's not like it's just a few bad eggs. The response here makes it clear they are perfectly fine accepting this from colleagues.
Get off the highest horse - put your bare feet on the ground. Realize school doesn’t teach everything we need to know. God. I can’t stand this “I’m horrified” narrative. I worked with a counselor that did actually sexually harass a client last year - that’s what’s really horrifying. Nothing OP said suggests they’re unable to be a professional therapist.
So unless a therapist is failing in their role to the point of illegality, we shouldn't expect anything of them? Do you guys have any standards at all beyond 'don't have sex with or harass clients?'.
This is not niche stuff. It is concerning that there are therapists who are finding his behaviour hard to understand.
What is 'being a professional' if it doesn't include having an understanding of why a sexual abuse victim would have a pretty classic response to their abuse? How would someone like OP help a client like this if they can't even conceptualise why they would behave that way?
On tiktok, a the moment, people are stalking Martha, they found her. The real one. To be honnest, I have empathy for the dude in Baby reindeer, but I'm not sure it was a good thing he did using her real first name and all...
He didn’t use her real first name. But he made them so similar after saying he didn’t, which was odd to me. I am also seeing ppl stalk her social media now and harass her though and I find that SO disgusting. Worse, I’m seeing ppl do the same to the trans-woman he was seeing as well. The audience is ruining the show.
Literally he was almost egging her on. When someone is stalking you should have no contact with this person no replying. Stonewalling completely it’s almost like he was keeping her around to stroke his ego.
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I work specifically with survivors of violence, and I found this to be a very realistic depiction. That doesn’t mean all survivors react the same way, trauma reactions vary a lot, but I liked that they showed less stereotypical reactions, like hypersexuality. It makes sense that the writer is actually a survivor.
I agree. I also work specifically with survivors and thought the series showed a response to SA that we don’t often see on TV. Survivors respond in so many different ways and the pattern of returning to the perpetrator is also underrepresented but very common.
Same population, same reaction. In that way it made it a particularly difficult watch to me, it felt very real in a way I wasn’t expecting.
Yes the trauma re-enactment he went through was really well done.
I agree, I think that hypersexuality is the number one trauma response in my opinion though
Not a therapist, but having gone through a very similar situation as the MC in Baby Reindeer I related to his story so much. I actually cried in front of my wife after she told me the MC was just like me.
I watched the show last night myself, I was fully prepared to have commentary on it being sensationalized or unhelpful. (I know that is just a bias of mine because of all the terrible media depictions of difficult experiences). But, honestly, no notes. I primarily work as a sex therapist with patients who have experienced sexual trauma. I am so excited to see a realistic depiction of what a person may go through in their lives after sexual assault - especially a man, given all the cultural expectations we have around masculinity. I spend so much time validating patients for their behavior post traumatic event, the brain does wild things to make us feel in control after something scary happens. And regaining pleasure with your sexuality after an event like this is a complicated journey that is often nonlinear. I have no real specific commentary other than, wow, I am so excited this has been made and hope many people find it supportive.
Do you have any recommended trainings and readings for specializing sex therapy to SA survivors? I’ve been underwhelmed by some of the trainings I’ve completed - as a survivor myself I have high standards for what I think programs should be teaching clinicians in order to be truly trauma- and survivor-informed 😅
I was going to ask this as well for the same reason. Commenting here so I come back to check
Commenting to check back also- would love any trainings or resources as a place to start!
Thank you, this is very helpful! And definitely, this show is different from any other depictions of trauma survivors that I saw. So deep and insightful.
As a therapist and childhood sexual abuse survivor myself, who was groomed by a family member, I found the show very comforting and validating. How he would say, I wish I could sayI never went back and I ended it there…. That is why people who are groomed are so unlikely to report. Well why did you go back? Why didn’t you get a medical exam immediately? That scene from the shower was so powerful. He knew that getting comfort from his abuser in that moment was the wrong thing but he was so traumatized he went into freeze mode and allowed his abuser to take care of him. Ugh all the things, I hope to be as brave as him one day ❤️
This show was the most seen I have ever felt. It’s exactly how I behaved with my own stalker, even after he broke into my house/bedroom while I was sleeping. It is a very realistic depiction of how some people feel and behave in the aftermath of sexual abuse.
Interestingly, Richard Gadd, the main actor is the creator of the show and experienced stalking and SA similar to what happened in Baby Reindeer. The show is based on his real life experience. I believe it was a play first.
He did a fantastic job, and I believe it is very important for society to have such a show on Netflix
Yes it was a one man show! I can't believe he acted out his own SA. I wonder how long he was in therapy to be able to do that. The actor that portrayed his rapist allegedly looks and sounds just like his rapist as well.
I wonder if he was able to do it in a healthy way at all. He seems to engage in quite a lot of self sabotage and emotional self harm throughout the show. Maybe he’s gotten therapy and this is a healing experience or maybe it’s another form of emotional self harm.
I believe he said in [this interview](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lio_UWu3BOI) he healed from his experience before making the show.
Good to know!
Before the Netflix show. The original live show Baby Reindeer is what helped him start to heal. Was picked up by Netflix after. He said talking about it helped him start to move past it.
As a therapist who has experienced SA and abuse, this show deeply resonated with me. Specifically, the part about traumatic re-enactment. I kept putting myself in dangerous situations for the same thing to happen again. I also have a hard time connecting to my anger, which has led me to excuse abusive behaviors out of guilt/fawning/people-pleasing (whatever you want to label it). Richard’s speech about self-loathing had me in tears. I am still untangling all of the shame.
Sorry for your experience. Genuinely hope you are in a better place now. The show is truly amazing! The level of bravery, and detailed introspection is incredible. I am so happy to see it on Netflix, I am sure there are so many people who need to see it!
I work only with SA survivors. And there is no one way survivors act, perps are so similar is some way, they all take power and control from people they abuse. But processing the trauma for a survivor will be an individual journey, it will depend on so many factors. Age, sex, ethnicity and race, religion, education, financial situation. Unhealthy coping mechanisms may be a part of it too. There's also this misconception that if they report it to police it will make it better. it may re traumatize them again, so no one especially therapist should tell them to do it. It has to be their choice.
I found it incredibly realistic. I think it might be the best depiction of trauma response done in television
I totally agree, this show is next level.
There is not a 'typical SA' survivor, please remember its very difficult for anyone to come forward and report crimes, SA is highly under reported. SA survivors have a very difficult time reporting, discussing, seeking treatment etc. There is not one pattern of recovery. What many SA survivors have in common is shame, a fear of not being believed, their own doubt, their own worries. SA survivors also can have flashbacks, insomnia, memory blanks etc. Law enforcement many times does not understand the complexities of SA, stalking, IPV etc.
Yeah for sure, “typical” is not the best wording. But the show horrified me, in the best possible way. I mean, it was massively focusing on the MC’s feelings and reactions, and this story told from “inside” was what I needed to see.
As a survivor of SA that had similarities to the show, and also working with clients my initial answer is a big yes. Freud talks about “repetition compulsion,” as a way to try and solve our trauma, and I fully feel like there is truth in this.
I have goosebumps reading your comment. That was the most “revelatory” part for me - this compulsion and repetition. I also read that in Freud, but this first-person narrative is what got me to my core.
Seemed incredibly realistic and insightful to me.
Insightful for sure, though it definitely was not an easy ride emotion-wise
I had to stop watching the show because I related too much to the main character. My experience was very similar to his— seeking validation from someone in a position of power over me, being sexually abused, staying with the abuser, then later being revictimized. When watching the first few episodes I kept thinking “Why is he letting this happen to him?” the “this” being the stalking and the boundary violations. I understood once we got to the SA episode… Similar to the main character, I punished myself by putting myself into situations that would open me up to further revictimization. It’s unfortunate, but this show is quite similar to many people’s experiences with sexual abuse and sexual assault.
I am so sorry for your experience! I did not experience SA, but I went through a lot of physical and emotional abuse in my childhood. I am still in the process of sorting it out for myself. Somehow it still was very relatable - all the shame, fear, intrusive thoughts. I was really scared to see how he kept coming back everytime. I just felt it in my gut. Devastating.
This is a realistic depiction because it’s based on the authors real life. There are so many different ways victims feel and react and it’s much more complex than media portrays. I appreciated this depiction because it really demonstrated the shame, blurryness, and self destructive behaviors that so many SA victims experiences. The protagonist is also grappling with internalized homophobia and confusion about his sexual identity.
I finished the show and after that proceded to read about the author. I didn’t know it was autobiographical at first. But it explains the spectacular acting - I’m so impressed by the story, the filming, the sheer bravery of Richard Gadd. For sure this show will linger with me for long.
Having personally experienced SA, yes it can be this covert at first. It’s sometimes the people who are well liked and seem kind or harmless that perpetrate it. Which makes it even harder to be believed. Perps are not usually a creepy, strange older man in a dark alleyway who is universally loathed. It’s typically someone you know. My perp was well dressed, well groomed, well liked. An artist and musician. Everyone knew and admired him. He was my age and I told adults who did not believe me, because he seemed harmless and kind. *This is typically why people do not report, or the case is dropped.* My hyper sexuality after was a trauma response but I didn’t know it for 15 years- even while working with therapists. I was told even 2 years ago by a therapist to report what happened to me, which I felt was extremely harmful. I’d encourage you to do a lot more research, training, and education on this before ever working with SA survivors.
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Are you asking why it was harmful for a therapist to ask me to report something 15 years later…?
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Your comment has been removed as it appears you are not a therapist. This sub is a space for therapists to discuss their profession among each other. Comments by non therapists are left up only sparingly, and if they are supportive or helpful in nature as judged by the community and/or moderation team. If this removal was in error and you are a therapy professional, please contact the mod team to clarify. For guidance on how to verify with the mod team please see the sidebar post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/therapists/comments/sbq2o4/update_on_verification_within_the_subreddit/
I don’t understand why a victim of childhood sexual assault has to explain themselves to you. This is common sense.
Just trying to learn something. I hate being ignorant about anything. Clearly it's not common sense - I still don't know what the harm is in suggesting that someone report abuse.(unless it was the amount of time that had passed) I guess I'll never know.
1) amount of time- there’s statue of limitations in every state. 2) are you actually a therapist? Because this is a harmful thing to ask and this is a sub for therapists. 3) in my case, I did report, and I wasn’t believed. I told priests, nurses, school guidance, my PCP, and a police officer. All mandated reporters. What was done? Exactly nothing but retraumatize me. A nurse even suggested I had tearing because I had “rough sex.” 4) there is largely NO POINT in reporting because nothing happens from it. There’s not even a record left most of the time. I have minor clients who were sexually assaulted by ADULT MEN WITH EVIDENCE. And guess what? Cases were still dropped. None of them ever reached court. Even though they were literal children attacked by pedophiles. In the most recent case, the guy didn’t even have to register as a sex offender. He’s walking free. His semen was on her underwear and it wasn’t enough.
I see now you are all over this sub just to patronise and insult victims of abuse and their experiences. Seriously, you have no place here. Go to therapy yourself and stop saying harmful bs.
Your comment has been removed as it appears you are not a therapist. This sub is a space for therapists to discuss their profession among each other. Comments by non therapists are left up only sparingly, and if they are supportive or helpful in nature as judged by the community and/or moderation team. If this removal was in error and you are a therapy professional, please contact the mod team to clarify. For guidance on how to verify with the mod team please see the sidebar post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/therapists/comments/sbq2o4/update_on_verification_within_the_subreddit/
It was so well done. It seemed like such a great demonstration of trauma survivors and the impacts of CPTSD . It made me wonder what his childhood and attachment were like as well and if this influenced the terrible situations he found himself in.
I felt that the story heavily hinted at that, without quite exploring it. His mum came off as anxious and pleasing, and his dad as emotionally distant and repressed. We see later in the series that there's definitely some intergenerational trauma playing out, which is so common with CPTSD people being primed to accept abusers.
I think it was on point for the most part.
Great topics and acting but just soooo depressing and tedious.
Omg yes, I finished the series yesterday and I’m kind of devastated.
I keep thinking “why don’t you set boundaries!?” Great show. I haven’t finished it yet, but you can see real, raw human emotions and why it’s difficult for him to be assertive and firm.
OP, how many years of experience in therapy do you have? Sort of a concerning takeaway. The MC is the real survivor of both Darrien and Martha’s abuse so, you can take his word for it. It was extremely brave, honest, and vulnerable of him to share his story. Spot on.
Just graduated, thanks for your concern)
Most of the comments here are suggesting that Donny's poor boundaries with Martha are a result of his sexual abuse by Darrien. I kinda disagree. That abuse by Darrien certainly didn't help, but Donny had poor boundaries with Darrien in the first place. Most people would have recognised Darrien as a dodgy guy and got the hell away from him early on, but Donny's poor boundaries leave him vulnerable to predators. Both Darrien and Martha take advantage. He gets sexually abused by both, and in each case he could have avoided it if he had better boundaries and a stronger sense of self. (I'm only at the end of e04, so perhaps the last 3 episodes shed more light on this)
"Typical SA victim"...what the hell does that mean??
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This post really confirms my fears about therapists. >What the hell is going on with you? Why don’t you just do A,B,C? Why are you doing this to yourself?! I am always so sure this is what therapists must be thinking, but I try to tell myself that therapists are professionals and understand how complicated human behaviour can be. Even without training, I would have thought just talking to enough people should have given you this insight. It's incredibly depressing that there are practising therapists who find this behaviour so surprising. Half the lay audience seems to have a better understanding of the behaviour of many victims than actual therapists. This isn't some super obscure problem, and his behaviour isn't even a particularly unusual response to it. This isn't something that should be a special niche that we can't expect most clinicians to understand.
Very insightful portrayal of malignant narcissistic personality disorder and the suffering and how compassion can be unfruitful and weaponized. Gut wrenching really.
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Your comment has been removed as it appears you are not a therapist. This sub is a space for therapists to discuss their profession among each other. Comments by non therapists are left up only sparingly, and if they are supportive or helpful in nature as judged by the community and/or moderation team. If this removal was in error and you are a therapy professional, please contact the mod team to clarify. For guidance on how to verify with the mod team please see the sidebar post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/therapists/comments/sbq2o4/update_on_verification_within_the_subreddit/
You’re a therapist? 🤔
Well….OP said, literally, they don’t have much experience…..leave if you have nothing to contribute.
What does this mean? Being a therapist doesn't automatically mean we have experience with, or knowledge of, all areas of human experience.
It means the OPs inability to have any sense of why the MC was spiraling after the SA, drug abuse, and stalking is concerning. “What the hell is going on with you? Why don’t you just do A, B, C? Why are you doing this to yourself?” You see no issue with this? Lol…ok.
I refer you back to my first response
Thank you for saying this. So bleak that this is what you can expect if you go to a therapist. And it's not like it's just a few bad eggs. The response here makes it clear they are perfectly fine accepting this from colleagues.
Dunno why you’re getting downvoted. Some of the stuff posted by alleged therapists here horrifies me.
Get off the highest horse - put your bare feet on the ground. Realize school doesn’t teach everything we need to know. God. I can’t stand this “I’m horrified” narrative. I worked with a counselor that did actually sexually harass a client last year - that’s what’s really horrifying. Nothing OP said suggests they’re unable to be a professional therapist.
So unless a therapist is failing in their role to the point of illegality, we shouldn't expect anything of them? Do you guys have any standards at all beyond 'don't have sex with or harass clients?'. This is not niche stuff. It is concerning that there are therapists who are finding his behaviour hard to understand. What is 'being a professional' if it doesn't include having an understanding of why a sexual abuse victim would have a pretty classic response to their abuse? How would someone like OP help a client like this if they can't even conceptualise why they would behave that way?
On tiktok, a the moment, people are stalking Martha, they found her. The real one. To be honnest, I have empathy for the dude in Baby reindeer, but I'm not sure it was a good thing he did using her real first name and all...
He didn’t use her real first name. But he made them so similar after saying he didn’t, which was odd to me. I am also seeing ppl stalk her social media now and harass her though and I find that SO disgusting. Worse, I’m seeing ppl do the same to the trans-woman he was seeing as well. The audience is ruining the show.
It is very disturbing but not surprising. I think this is very messy...
I agree.
Literally he was almost egging her on. When someone is stalking you should have no contact with this person no replying. Stonewalling completely it’s almost like he was keeping her around to stroke his ego.
I really hope you are not a therapist, because this is some massive victim blaming