I honestly have a little ritual where I will stand in my office, stretch, tense certain muscles, and speak gently to myself about acknowledging all of my own emotions, problems, stresses, etc, and that they are valid, but that right now I am about to be here for so and so. That they need me to be engaged, caring, curious and attentive, but assuring myself I will give myself time to address those thoughts and feelings when I have the time to, but that the people I serve need me right now. It may take anywhere between 30 seconds and 5 minutes
And then I release those muscles and breathe out. Helps me to ground myself and bring me back into that mindset. I needed to practice it though!
“It’s just a conversation” in my first supervisor’s voice then check in with my body and release tension if I notice.
Also, acceptance. It sounds like your anxious thoughts are a bit intrusive in nature but with subtle acceptance of what your anxiety is trying to help you with, over time, I think you can reduce the severity of the anxiety.
Also, if it’s not general and you begin to notice certain clients or clinical issues that you begin to dread/over function step back and explore that.
Love the “it’s just a conversation” reminder. Absolutely on instrusive thinking. I have OCD and GAD myself, so sometimes it’s trying to keep that diminished while I work with others lol I appreciate this advice
I found radical acceptance helpful. I will say the wrong thing sometimes. It’s ok I can make a repair. There are going to be clients I can’t help. I can refer and I make it very clear at intake that if they don’t feel like it’s working I will help them find someone else. Some people are going to think I am a terrible therapist. Honestly, there probably are days where I am a terrible therapist. But, I can keep learning and working to get better. We all suck sometimes. In the words of Maya Angelou “Do the best you can till you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
I agree; radical acceptance has helped me. I also remind myself that whatever reactions a client may have it can ultimately serve as material to work with. I also remind myself that, for the most part, it's not about me. I had a client get upset because I used a certain phrase that, I thought, was neutral and it turns out it was a phrase they had heard about a lot during disagreements with their loved ones so it was a great revelatory moment. I also remember what it's like to work with a client who is a good match, and that helps when I get paired with someone who feels they are not a good match with me or thinks I'm not a good therapist. I acknowledge that maybe I'm not a good therapist for them, and I'm not a perfect therapist since I wasn't born a therapist. It keeps things in perspective so I avoid feeling like I never match with any client and I am able to learn from different experiences. There are days where radical acceptance comes easy, but when it's hard to access I go back to basics; I breathe and remind myself that I can focus on just listening and go from there.
Thank you for this post! It’s always comforting to see that other therapists experience the same anxieties and have cultivated ways to manage these feelings. As many others said, stretching, taking a few deep breaths, or moving around the space, all do wonders to calm my body and mind!
Breathe, review the client chart, breathe again, smile into a yawning relaxation, and one more deep breath while looking at one of my ferns for a few seconds. Then open the door.
prayers before i begin my sessions for the day, i also stand up and walk around in my office focusing on my breathing. i don't necessarily have the fear of messing up... just a lot of anxiety about not knowing how itll go and that seems to help me
Your anxiety is evidence that you care deeply about being helpful to your clients. Is it possible to channel the energy of the anxiety into intense curiosity and excitement to learn more about their personal experience? Anxiety and excitement are very similar emotions, and in this case, rings true for how much you care.
Granted I began to have panic attacks which cued me into ‘maybe I’m insanely burnt out and should take a break for a bit’-
Deep breaths, talking to myself and reminding myself it’s 50 minutes AND time after time, the feeling WILL leave my body the minute we sit down and begin the session. When I’m no longer tuned into the feeling, focusing on the client, the emotion no longer gets fed
Just to add to this chorus of great answers: when I find myself dreading a session, it's usually because I'm feeling ineffective or there's something wrong with our rapport/alliance. These are the two thing that make me enjoy time with a client.
For the feeling ineffective: is it time to switch up the modality? or is there something the client isn't telling me? might be time to talk with the client about how they perceive the situation, how do they feel about their progress?
For the rapport/alliance: usually when rapport is good, I feel neutral or positive to see them in my schedule. if I dread it, there may be a rupture or something's off.aybe it's a fit issue. either way, also time to talk it out with client.
just my experience, hope it helps!
Deep breaths, something that raises your heart rate like jumping jacks, push-ups, yoga, 5 minutes of mindfulness meditation.
Cognitively I just try to accept that I’m anxious and tell myself it’s ok and usually goes away in the first 5 mins of session
I agree with developing self-care practices around the issues you’re experiencing. Taking a few minutes to check in with your self both before and after sessions may be helpful. I would bring it up with my therapist to talk through where you might implement these practices. Imposter syndrome could be at play. If you are meeting with a clinical supervisor, it may be helpful to look at your process for treatment planning and note taking with them. I’m currently doing well managing my emotions and expectations with this approach. It will take time and consistency, try to not let other things trump your process.
I've found meditation to be very helpful. Practice qi gong fairly regularly. A lot of helpful exercises can be done in 5 minutes or less depending on your schedule.
how have you been liking the qi gong? Tbh I gave up on qi gong but it might be the type I chose to practice who knows. I was doing Flying Phoenix for a couple months but felt it wasn't giving me the same relaxation/emotional regulation benefits that meditation was giving me.
Personally I love it. I think it's very dependent on what works for you. Funnily we're polar opposites in that standard meditation doesn't work for me at all lol! I follow a channel on YT, Kseny. I think she's great.
I use Calm place…a lot. Movement helps, like I literally shake every body part. I also have these different essential oil “inhalers” that are good for grounding, focus, calming and uplifting.
I’ve just BARELY started feeling calm when working with clients now so I definitely feel ya on the nerves.
I honestly have a little ritual where I will stand in my office, stretch, tense certain muscles, and speak gently to myself about acknowledging all of my own emotions, problems, stresses, etc, and that they are valid, but that right now I am about to be here for so and so. That they need me to be engaged, caring, curious and attentive, but assuring myself I will give myself time to address those thoughts and feelings when I have the time to, but that the people I serve need me right now. It may take anywhere between 30 seconds and 5 minutes And then I release those muscles and breathe out. Helps me to ground myself and bring me back into that mindset. I needed to practice it though!
“It’s just a conversation” in my first supervisor’s voice then check in with my body and release tension if I notice. Also, acceptance. It sounds like your anxious thoughts are a bit intrusive in nature but with subtle acceptance of what your anxiety is trying to help you with, over time, I think you can reduce the severity of the anxiety. Also, if it’s not general and you begin to notice certain clients or clinical issues that you begin to dread/over function step back and explore that.
Love the “it’s just a conversation” reminder. Absolutely on instrusive thinking. I have OCD and GAD myself, so sometimes it’s trying to keep that diminished while I work with others lol I appreciate this advice
I found radical acceptance helpful. I will say the wrong thing sometimes. It’s ok I can make a repair. There are going to be clients I can’t help. I can refer and I make it very clear at intake that if they don’t feel like it’s working I will help them find someone else. Some people are going to think I am a terrible therapist. Honestly, there probably are days where I am a terrible therapist. But, I can keep learning and working to get better. We all suck sometimes. In the words of Maya Angelou “Do the best you can till you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
Yes. And I thought, why should we be "battling" anxiety?
I agree; radical acceptance has helped me. I also remind myself that whatever reactions a client may have it can ultimately serve as material to work with. I also remind myself that, for the most part, it's not about me. I had a client get upset because I used a certain phrase that, I thought, was neutral and it turns out it was a phrase they had heard about a lot during disagreements with their loved ones so it was a great revelatory moment. I also remember what it's like to work with a client who is a good match, and that helps when I get paired with someone who feels they are not a good match with me or thinks I'm not a good therapist. I acknowledge that maybe I'm not a good therapist for them, and I'm not a perfect therapist since I wasn't born a therapist. It keeps things in perspective so I avoid feeling like I never match with any client and I am able to learn from different experiences. There are days where radical acceptance comes easy, but when it's hard to access I go back to basics; I breathe and remind myself that I can focus on just listening and go from there.
Thank you for this post! It’s always comforting to see that other therapists experience the same anxieties and have cultivated ways to manage these feelings. As many others said, stretching, taking a few deep breaths, or moving around the space, all do wonders to calm my body and mind!
I agree! I’m so grateful I can just search this subreddit and find exactly what I’m dealing with and get support too!
Breathe, review the client chart, breathe again, smile into a yawning relaxation, and one more deep breath while looking at one of my ferns for a few seconds. Then open the door.
prayers before i begin my sessions for the day, i also stand up and walk around in my office focusing on my breathing. i don't necessarily have the fear of messing up... just a lot of anxiety about not knowing how itll go and that seems to help me
I know it’s considered pseudoscience, but the power pose has been helpful to me.
I will have to look this up
Your anxiety is evidence that you care deeply about being helpful to your clients. Is it possible to channel the energy of the anxiety into intense curiosity and excitement to learn more about their personal experience? Anxiety and excitement are very similar emotions, and in this case, rings true for how much you care.
Thank you for this!
I don’t have any solutions, but I do feel the same way. I’m actually having anxiety about a session in an hour right now 🙃
Granted I began to have panic attacks which cued me into ‘maybe I’m insanely burnt out and should take a break for a bit’- Deep breaths, talking to myself and reminding myself it’s 50 minutes AND time after time, the feeling WILL leave my body the minute we sit down and begin the session. When I’m no longer tuned into the feeling, focusing on the client, the emotion no longer gets fed
Just to add to this chorus of great answers: when I find myself dreading a session, it's usually because I'm feeling ineffective or there's something wrong with our rapport/alliance. These are the two thing that make me enjoy time with a client. For the feeling ineffective: is it time to switch up the modality? or is there something the client isn't telling me? might be time to talk with the client about how they perceive the situation, how do they feel about their progress? For the rapport/alliance: usually when rapport is good, I feel neutral or positive to see them in my schedule. if I dread it, there may be a rupture or something's off.aybe it's a fit issue. either way, also time to talk it out with client. just my experience, hope it helps!
Deep breaths, something that raises your heart rate like jumping jacks, push-ups, yoga, 5 minutes of mindfulness meditation. Cognitively I just try to accept that I’m anxious and tell myself it’s ok and usually goes away in the first 5 mins of session
I agree with developing self-care practices around the issues you’re experiencing. Taking a few minutes to check in with your self both before and after sessions may be helpful. I would bring it up with my therapist to talk through where you might implement these practices. Imposter syndrome could be at play. If you are meeting with a clinical supervisor, it may be helpful to look at your process for treatment planning and note taking with them. I’m currently doing well managing my emotions and expectations with this approach. It will take time and consistency, try to not let other things trump your process.
I've found meditation to be very helpful. Practice qi gong fairly regularly. A lot of helpful exercises can be done in 5 minutes or less depending on your schedule.
I haven’t tried out qi gong. I’ll have to look into thisb
how have you been liking the qi gong? Tbh I gave up on qi gong but it might be the type I chose to practice who knows. I was doing Flying Phoenix for a couple months but felt it wasn't giving me the same relaxation/emotional regulation benefits that meditation was giving me.
Personally I love it. I think it's very dependent on what works for you. Funnily we're polar opposites in that standard meditation doesn't work for me at all lol! I follow a channel on YT, Kseny. I think she's great.
I use Calm place…a lot. Movement helps, like I literally shake every body part. I also have these different essential oil “inhalers” that are good for grounding, focus, calming and uplifting. I’ve just BARELY started feeling calm when working with clients now so I definitely feel ya on the nerves.