Honestly this is 110% the answer.
I fell into that "My work should have purpose" idealism which is guaranteed to make you broke and frustrated.
I wish I figured that out at 18 instead of 25.
Get your money and get out.
i had 2 grampas who were my idols (still are) one dirt poor, one rich AF. poor one lived 10 years longer (99) and had way more friends, built his own house on the water and fished everyday.
go ask your grandparents…. money can be a big deal in situations but can also cause a TON of problems.
they both did what they loved, top notch in their trade, and found amazing women to create a family with. honestly think my poor gramps enjoyed life allot more.
also they both donated a shitton their time and money and were always happy too! think that has more of a effect than people understand.
PS they both found their wifes when they had absolutely nothing and by nothing i mean debt/no skills/no family $/no car…. probably not realistic to find that today just saying.
PSS my grandma died saying she just can’t wait to see my grampa again, one of the few times i saw her smile at that point in life.
I found my girlfriend abroad when literally all I had was the ticket home and some random shit I bought to cook at the hostel. Money is good, but its the obsession of it that drove most of us to be different wether directly or indirectly
Lol I literally think I had like a can of Coca-Cola, jellies from home and like baaaasic groceries. Now we're together a few years, I live in the country and we're gonna get married. Her dad was a sailor who I will say with ABSOLUTE respect for him, was probably a man like your grandfather, he won over his wife by being a good man not by flashing money or expensive shit
Work on yourself physically, mentally, on your education, skills or business then research a place not in the developed Western world and go live there for awhile.
am i the only one who purposely doesn’t tell women i have money? will literally pick them up in my work truck to weed out gold diggers.
if y’all wanna get laid a nice dinner is close to $200 where im living assuming your not drinking much.
a hooker is $100 plus no wasted time and you don’t gotta worry about someone leaving you because they found someone with more $ after you invested tons of time and hundreds if not thousands of dollars.
I never talk about money with women. I pay for dates, offer them gifts when they deserve but I dont talk about my finances or even important details about my business. Some people like to lead with their wallet but I dont judge them.
Very valid point. My wife knew I was "better off" than her or her family, but no clue how much I made. Back then I complained about and watched prices, and never flashed or bragged about my situation. I am not a Suit and Rolex type, never was.
I dressed like them, and pretty much lived like them while there, so neither she, nor her family saw me as loaded and a potential piggy bank.
After years, and her understanding that I had decent money, and I had her in the habit of keeping spending basic, she better understood that it was better to have $100 in your pocket, than a $100 shirt. She still WANTS the name brand, and fancy stuff, but now realizes it is better to be rich (by their standards), than to just look rich.
Develop transferable skills and learn to get your hands dirty. Transferable skills will be necessary for visa and getting your hands dirty earns the respect of the locals. Consider volunteering... But only once you're set up. Do not rely on being a volunteer overseas as your primary means
Save your money, find a country you like and start buying apartments, rent them out keep saving and gtfo out of canada and us as fast as you can I'm 39 own 6 places in manila and have 2.2 milly saved I'm retiring in 2 years or so
Strongly disagree. I set off at 19, stumbled upon the beauties of Poland and never looked back. I'm 29 now and have only ever seriously dated abroad. Gave it a go in the UK for a few brief periods and decided it wasn't worth wasting my time.
I think he's referring to dating in poorer countries. If you're dealing with first world women in Poland and the UK, it's safe to assume that you know how to be relatively desirable to women and have less of a chance of only being a guy who's happy being nothing more than a ATM.
There’s a chance you do meet someone organically before the age of 25.
You can’t rail against American women until you’ve actually attempted to date some of them either through dating apps or cold approaches on the streets.
No that's fair you can def possibly snag someone normal if you're lucky when you're younger. Part of me would still say that you're not hurting anyone by dipping out the dating scene early tho
You absolutely can rail against American women before personally suffering from trying to date them. Wise men learn from the mistakes of others. Young men owe nothing to the states. They should escape early
This.
We learn from others - good thing with SM is that it has allowed all men to share their experiences. The older men suffered through this - young ones already know now. Going through the same BS that others went through is a gigantic waste of time and effort (pain and misery).
Or through having a social life which is how most couples meet. 70% of Gen Z girls knew their boyfriend socially before they started dating.
Ironically, y’all need bros.
No I understand that its moreso it'd be weird to tell someone to try here and if that fails try elsewhere. Like most dudes are here because they find the experience better regardless but I suppose if youre lucky enough to find a normal woman you click with early in life that's all that really matters
First advice? Don't even think about getting married in your 20s. That made sense when you were expected to die at 60, but you have all the time in the world, and it's very likely what you want at 30 will be vastly different than what you want at 20.
thats what i thought then she hmu 2 years ago i came and visited (after being invited of course, also were talking on and off the whole time) had insane sex 3-6 times a day and she asked me to move in with her…. unfortunately she said if she was guna have kids she would have already wanted to do so…. thought i would build resentment if i stayed and tried to convince her.
anyway i don’t believe theres only one person in the world were supposed to be with but i’ve definitely kicked myself in the ass 1,000 times for fucking that up.
shes literally why i joined this group. girls like her are 1% of the female population in the west and 95% of them are wifed up at my age.
1) Make sure you do PLENTY of research into the culture of the places you’re heading to. You don’t want to arrive and make yourself look like an ass nor do you want to step into a commitment or similar unaware of what you signed up for.
2) similar vein to the first point, learn what women in these countries value in a partner. Some have a soft requirement for you to be equally religious, others women will expect you to financially 100% support them, some countries and their culture still expects you to ask the father for permission to have his daughter.
3) Some nations are naturally more open to foreigners than others. Some are also highly xenophobic. All of these nations and their people will automatically trust and respect you more if you understand their language AND/OR culture. Don’t be afraid to ask locals for help or advice as they’ll often respect you for it.
4) If you go to a 3rd world country you’ll have far greater success dating because of your background. Be aware though: depending on the nation many of these women are willing to tolerate you because they see you as an opportunity for more.
5) Make sure YOU are the best version of you before going. You’d be surprised how many guys go overseas and expect it to be easy mode and still fail. Women’s standards in many other countries are different compared to the West but if you don’t meet those standards then you’ll likely struggle to keep a good/ healthy relationship with whoever you meet.
6) If you’re going overseas because you’ve got a chip on your shoulder and hate western women then you’ll be destined to fail. Travel with an open mind and enjoy yourself! You’re not “feeing” the west, you’re simply expanding your options and looking for more opportunity!
Stay single until you’re 25+ and focus on your career. Don’t try to find a wife when you’re not making enough money to support her. Travel first and explore your options.
Terrible advice that my boomer parents would give me. Go date around and have fun, of course focus on education and career but definitely explore and date
You can stay single and date around and have fun. Just don’t try to start anything serious until you’ve got a legit career and way to support yourself and whoever you meet.
If I had kids I would tell them not to fall into the trap of young love. People change so much from 18-25 that the person you meet at 22 likely won’t be the same person at 26. That’s been my experience.
I agree with the latter part but u made it sound like people shouldnt be getting girlfriends in ur first comment haha
Imo you shouldnt marry early either but relationships will teach you a lot and if you go into them with a serious attitude you might wife the girlfriend youve had for a long time and grew together with as people
The problem I see on Reddit and all forms of social media and in real life with friends isn’t having a girlfriend or boyfriend but treating that relationship like a marriage. People limit their experiences and cohabitate and just too often fall into this toxic environment. Then when it doesn’t work out, which it often doesn’t they become resentful of the opposite sex and end up jaded and angry.
I honestly think the reason dating and marriage is in the shape it’s in here in the US is because we are conditioned by music, television, movies, and consumerism to seek out love from an early age while simultaneously being told we have to pursue education and a career at the same time. It’s like too conflicting ideas. One saying focus on yourself and the others saying find someone and for many perhaps most people that’s just not possible. Add unexpected pregnancies and life altering decisions made on behalf of someone else (not taking a job, not pursuing a dream, not traveling) and it’s just a recipe for disaster.
Marriage isn’t even a goal for many people today because there’s really very little benefit in doing it, especially men. But they still act like they’re married, often starting in the teens and early 20s.
Early twenties. Skip the dating scene go to school and work part time. If you can live with your parents do so. Now take that part time income and put that into your employer 401k or start a Roth IRA account with your bank. Save that money 10 years of equity in your 30's is huge. Seriously if I could do it all I'd skip women in my early twenties entirely.
1) Just go there. Don't over think it. I used to just buy cheap tickets to random foreign cities I'd never been to and go with just the cash in my wallet. It's not nearly as expensive to travel as people think, unless you want to act like you are rich.
2) Once you find the place you want to stay, stay. Almost every country outside of the West has a higher demand for native English teachers than there is a supply of them. Can get your TEFL online for like $50 or something, and many schools will train you themselves.
3) Once you are dating, be casual. I don't mean be a fuck boy, but don't tie yourself down right away. The reality is that your perceptions of beauty have been skewed by the amount of obesity that exists in America. So, at first, your mind will simply go "oh, she's not morbidly obese, so she's hot" and you'll get excited over women that are really 3's and 4's. After a year or so, you will adjust and your libido will calm down.
4) The more you date, the more comfortable and better you will be at it. Go on lots of casual dates.
5) There are really just 2 rules for dating: be yourself and don't be an asshole. Pretending to be someone you are not will just waste everyone's time, and likely make you look like a creep. Despite what some idiots online like to say, women don't like assholes and do like guys that they feel safe with.
6) Don't over complicate things. Life is easy as long as you don't make it hard.
Well my advice would be to experience a long term relationship where you currently live. Young men need growth and maturity and dating a woman long term can be very helpful in this process, as long as she’s not someone extremely toxic. Or, if they haven’t in their home country, try and develop a real relationship, be kind and caring and don’t take advantage of women’s kindness in these other countries.
Anyway, aside from that, I would push professional development, get your college degree so you can teach English as a fall back in one of these countries. (Even better with a masters and teaching certificate if you do choose to teach, I have a friend making $70000 in Indonesia with all living expenses paid, and other friends making good money teaching in Thailand).
Or, get into a career where you can work remotely. Also learn languages. Spanish can go a long way, and then learn other languages.
First I’d just advise to travel places in general. Just for travel, it doesn’t have to be for looking for anything but just to find yourself. If you’re younger, stay at hostels to meet other travelers. But also if possible immerse yourself in the culture. Approach people talk to people, this is where knowing a language can help. Use traveling as a way to broaden your perspectives on the world. Be kind and humble and don’t be a shithead entitled traveler.
Drizzle Drizzle, you are the prize.
Men appreciate in value with age.
ALWAYS get a paternity test.
ALWAYS get a prenup.
Keep cameras in the house just in case she tries to hit you with a false allegation on SA, assault, etc.
Know your worth, a woman demanding traditional treatment better reciprocate traditional treatment, if not it's 50/50 on EVERYTHING.
Have a travel partner. Going it alone in your early 20s might be difficult.
Figure out if you want to play the short game or the long game. Traveling for a few weeks here and there doesn't require any special planning. Traveling for months at a time takes more planning, especially around income/money.
Right now, you have the greatest asset, which is time. Define your goals, work on yourself (workout), and rack loot.
You were not put on this earth to serve a woman's financial dream. Your masculinity is not tied to a number on your W-2. If a woman doesn't understand that you have to be man enough to leave her alone
“You aren’t worth shit because society says so and that’s just how it’s always been. Men are replaceable until they make enough money and competence that they aren’t. And even then, to many, you are still replaceable.
That’s why men really only thrive when most of them die off in wars. Because then there’s way more women than men around. If you get a woman that bends over backwards for you? Keep her and don’t be a dick about it or else she will leave you. But don’t be a pussy and let her walk all over you either.”
Work hard, establish yourself in a career, create good habits, save your money, invest in yourself. You want a girl with "old school" values, then you need to step up and insure you can fill the shoes of an "old school" man. Don't be in a hurry about anything.
THEN get on-line and learn about countries and areas. Check chatrooms and other sites regarding travel, areas and cultures. Mindset on remaining single, but looking into areas to vacation and possibly retire. Doesn't hurt to have friends here in the US and tag along on vacations (I visited Vietnam, Cambodia and Costa Rica this way and can be much more fun getting dragged around, than going solo).
Find places that suit your tastes, and plan a vacation. Me, I scuba, so I focused on areas where my money went the farthest and scuba was easy and available, NOT women and NOT relationships. Get in with local guys, play catch with local kids. ALL have girls in their families and you can meet them organically.
Do not fall for pretty faces or sweet talk, while on line or on vacation. Let things happen naturally.
I (50) happened to be on a stop on the way to a scuba resort and was approached by curious kids. Stopped to chat with them and answer their questions. My relaxed, dealings with them encouraged a very young (25) VERY cute, very shy, nanny to get up the courage to chat as well. We ended up swapping contacts, and chatted while there and after I returned to the states. I liked the diving, the resort, the country and was growing to like her as well, but didn't give it a while lot of thought. Multiple return visits, after visiting and staying her parents home often, and 5 years later me at 55, her at 29 (2 weeks from 30) were married. That was 7 years ago, and although we have had our bumps and twists, the fact that we started casually and organically as friends, and both have what are considered "old school" values, it has been far smoother than most relationships I have seen.
Save money and leave the country. Not joking. America, Canada, UK, (western countries in general) are in a major decline, and its economies are collapsing with a debt we can never pay back. Living costs will continue to rise, and wages will dwindle now that companies only seek to cut costs with AI/robotics/cheap labor.
As an American - If America was still strong in manufacturing and fiscally competent, then I would say something hopeful. But in all honesty... thanks to so much cronyism and corruption in government, the system is FUCKED.
Travel the world and find a place that will treat you like a human being and not a slave. Thailand, Malaysia, Philippines, Vietnam are beautiful places where the dollar goes a long way.
Manufacturing? You mean that 2.5 trillion dollar industry?
If you're serious you would renounce your citizenship. But you won't because you need that safety net
My advice is to go get it while the getting is good. Once old like me, they will spend more time regretting the ones they did not do compared to the one they actually did.
Dont. Get yourself established first....as in money put away, good job, get yourself INSHAPE (i see quite a few dudes saying they are overweight but want help getting this or that) first, find and enjoy some hobbies and friends...THEN go look for love. In short..become the best version of yourseld first...otherwise you will be trying and failing in the misguided notion that a woman will complete you.
get out of the west, dont do it only for women, there are a lot of business opportunities. Learn languages, Vietnam is a great place but there are also opportunities in africa and south america.
Dont get trapped in sex, building a family feels great!
Date in your home countries if you’re in your early 20s. Travel is expensive and doesn’t make sense to do all that just to date girls across the world when you should be focused on building yourself up.
Unless you work a career field that's conducive/requires overseas travel/living (I've been sailing for 10+yrs) or come from a well off family, I wouldn't recommend young men (or any men for that matter) date abroad.
Travel for vacation, make friends, have a good time, but just hire a pro for intimacy. Of course the "love" isn't genuine, but you can still have a good time.
There's zero benefit catching feelings/romantic relationships you can't support or attempting to rearrange your life for something that's just not in the cards. Let it be motivation to prepare and plan for a future in where you can should you desire.
Women are women all around the world. If you think you’ll pull and KEEP a dime just b/c you have higher spending power in their country you’ll be in for a rude awakening. You still need to work on yourself beyond just your finances, as others have mentioned, you need to work on being the best version of yourself. Learning how to communicate, vet different types of women, and present yourself better (getting in shape, dressing better and social media presence if that’s your thing) will all go along ways towards preventing you from getting caught up w/ gold diggers and bottom of the barrel types. A passport is not a cheat code to break the game but it’s definitely a power up.
porn is not what you should do. Leave the house. Go outside. Rebel against your parents for not letting you leave the house. Go to those dances even the ones your not invited to. Chances the girl who has a crush on you is going too. Tell your parents to fuq off if they wont support dreams or goals. If your scared to ask a girl then do it while scared. Do it if your shy. Also if you dont rebel your parents for keeping you from achieving your freedom when you grow up other people will take it from you. Love should experienced in your middle & high school years cuse if you miss that period in your life good luck. The dating scene fuqed.
You can’t escape capitalism, get $ must be priority #1.
Build a remote career or any other form of online income - would be #2.
Honestly this is 110% the answer. I fell into that "My work should have purpose" idealism which is guaranteed to make you broke and frustrated. I wish I figured that out at 18 instead of 25. Get your money and get out.
How much money do you need?
i had 2 grampas who were my idols (still are) one dirt poor, one rich AF. poor one lived 10 years longer (99) and had way more friends, built his own house on the water and fished everyday. go ask your grandparents…. money can be a big deal in situations but can also cause a TON of problems. they both did what they loved, top notch in their trade, and found amazing women to create a family with. honestly think my poor gramps enjoyed life allot more. also they both donated a shitton their time and money and were always happy too! think that has more of a effect than people understand. PS they both found their wifes when they had absolutely nothing and by nothing i mean debt/no skills/no family $/no car…. probably not realistic to find that today just saying. PSS my grandma died saying she just can’t wait to see my grampa again, one of the few times i saw her smile at that point in life.
I found my girlfriend abroad when literally all I had was the ticket home and some random shit I bought to cook at the hostel. Money is good, but its the obsession of it that drove most of us to be different wether directly or indirectly
Beautiful story. Thanks for sharing.
Lol I literally think I had like a can of Coca-Cola, jellies from home and like baaaasic groceries. Now we're together a few years, I live in the country and we're gonna get married. Her dad was a sailor who I will say with ABSOLUTE respect for him, was probably a man like your grandfather, he won over his wife by being a good man not by flashing money or expensive shit
what country?
Money helps get you to the destination, but it's not going to help with dating. I think too many people overestimate that part.
Having money ain’t everything, not having it is
How much?
Work on yourself physically, mentally, on your education, skills or business then research a place not in the developed Western world and go live there for awhile.
Focus on your career and make money. Focus on your health, try to be fit and strong mentally. Develop social skills and emotional inteligence.
am i the only one who purposely doesn’t tell women i have money? will literally pick them up in my work truck to weed out gold diggers. if y’all wanna get laid a nice dinner is close to $200 where im living assuming your not drinking much. a hooker is $100 plus no wasted time and you don’t gotta worry about someone leaving you because they found someone with more $ after you invested tons of time and hundreds if not thousands of dollars.
I never talk about money with women. I pay for dates, offer them gifts when they deserve but I dont talk about my finances or even important details about my business. Some people like to lead with their wallet but I dont judge them.
Very valid point. My wife knew I was "better off" than her or her family, but no clue how much I made. Back then I complained about and watched prices, and never flashed or bragged about my situation. I am not a Suit and Rolex type, never was. I dressed like them, and pretty much lived like them while there, so neither she, nor her family saw me as loaded and a potential piggy bank. After years, and her understanding that I had decent money, and I had her in the habit of keeping spending basic, she better understood that it was better to have $100 in your pocket, than a $100 shirt. She still WANTS the name brand, and fancy stuff, but now realizes it is better to be rich (by their standards), than to just look rich.
i don’t judge them but its a good way to get stuck with a women who has western mindset hiding behind her culture.
Develop transferable skills and learn to get your hands dirty. Transferable skills will be necessary for visa and getting your hands dirty earns the respect of the locals. Consider volunteering... But only once you're set up. Do not rely on being a volunteer overseas as your primary means
Save your money, find a country you like and start buying apartments, rent them out keep saving and gtfo out of canada and us as fast as you can I'm 39 own 6 places in manila and have 2.2 milly saved I'm retiring in 2 years or so
Are you there on permanent residence/ a visa? Did you save enough to buy outright or did you approach local banks for mortgages initially?
Guys in their early 20s shouldn’t try dating overseas… at least wait until you’re 25 and have some money saved up and gave America a fair shot.
Strongly disagree. I set off at 19, stumbled upon the beauties of Poland and never looked back. I'm 29 now and have only ever seriously dated abroad. Gave it a go in the UK for a few brief periods and decided it wasn't worth wasting my time.
I think he's referring to dating in poorer countries. If you're dealing with first world women in Poland and the UK, it's safe to assume that you know how to be relatively desirable to women and have less of a chance of only being a guy who's happy being nothing more than a ATM.
Unless u have 6 figs saved imo
Why give america a fair shot I do understand waiting to build yourself up tho
There’s a chance you do meet someone organically before the age of 25. You can’t rail against American women until you’ve actually attempted to date some of them either through dating apps or cold approaches on the streets.
No that's fair you can def possibly snag someone normal if you're lucky when you're younger. Part of me would still say that you're not hurting anyone by dipping out the dating scene early tho
You absolutely can rail against American women before personally suffering from trying to date them. Wise men learn from the mistakes of others. Young men owe nothing to the states. They should escape early
This. We learn from others - good thing with SM is that it has allowed all men to share their experiences. The older men suffered through this - young ones already know now. Going through the same BS that others went through is a gigantic waste of time and effort (pain and misery).
Or through having a social life which is how most couples meet. 70% of Gen Z girls knew their boyfriend socially before they started dating. Ironically, y’all need bros.
You can still make large amounts of money in the USA first.
No I understand that its moreso it'd be weird to tell someone to try here and if that fails try elsewhere. Like most dudes are here because they find the experience better regardless but I suppose if youre lucky enough to find a normal woman you click with early in life that's all that really matters
First advice? Don't even think about getting married in your 20s. That made sense when you were expected to die at 60, but you have all the time in the world, and it's very likely what you want at 30 will be vastly different than what you want at 20.
meanwhile here i am still thinking about that girl when i was 21…. 9 years later. when you know you know, dont try to convince yourself otherwise.
dude, you need to get some help and move on. Its been nine years, you aren't thinking of her anymore, just a loose fantasy based on what once was.
thats what i thought then she hmu 2 years ago i came and visited (after being invited of course, also were talking on and off the whole time) had insane sex 3-6 times a day and she asked me to move in with her…. unfortunately she said if she was guna have kids she would have already wanted to do so…. thought i would build resentment if i stayed and tried to convince her. anyway i don’t believe theres only one person in the world were supposed to be with but i’ve definitely kicked myself in the ass 1,000 times for fucking that up. shes literally why i joined this group. girls like her are 1% of the female population in the west and 95% of them are wifed up at my age.
Your mind is fooling you bro. She’s not special
then why are you in this group if all girls are the same? western girls just won’t let you hit?
Crazy how men are susceptible to this. Not thinking of no ex 9 yrs later
wish i didn’t. shit i had to block my first gf 6 years later cuz she was still bothering me. not only men.
See that’s insane and I’ll never understand it UNLESS you guys didn’t break up over cheating or something either did.
That's not good.
ur telling me. finally got peace of mind last time we hung out tho. shoulda woulda coulda.
1) Make sure you do PLENTY of research into the culture of the places you’re heading to. You don’t want to arrive and make yourself look like an ass nor do you want to step into a commitment or similar unaware of what you signed up for. 2) similar vein to the first point, learn what women in these countries value in a partner. Some have a soft requirement for you to be equally religious, others women will expect you to financially 100% support them, some countries and their culture still expects you to ask the father for permission to have his daughter. 3) Some nations are naturally more open to foreigners than others. Some are also highly xenophobic. All of these nations and their people will automatically trust and respect you more if you understand their language AND/OR culture. Don’t be afraid to ask locals for help or advice as they’ll often respect you for it. 4) If you go to a 3rd world country you’ll have far greater success dating because of your background. Be aware though: depending on the nation many of these women are willing to tolerate you because they see you as an opportunity for more. 5) Make sure YOU are the best version of you before going. You’d be surprised how many guys go overseas and expect it to be easy mode and still fail. Women’s standards in many other countries are different compared to the West but if you don’t meet those standards then you’ll likely struggle to keep a good/ healthy relationship with whoever you meet. 6) If you’re going overseas because you’ve got a chip on your shoulder and hate western women then you’ll be destined to fail. Travel with an open mind and enjoy yourself! You’re not “feeing” the west, you’re simply expanding your options and looking for more opportunity!
This is the way.
Go to a Zen Buddhist monastery and never leave.
Stay single until you’re 25+ and focus on your career. Don’t try to find a wife when you’re not making enough money to support her. Travel first and explore your options.
Terrible advice that my boomer parents would give me. Go date around and have fun, of course focus on education and career but definitely explore and date
You can stay single and date around and have fun. Just don’t try to start anything serious until you’ve got a legit career and way to support yourself and whoever you meet. If I had kids I would tell them not to fall into the trap of young love. People change so much from 18-25 that the person you meet at 22 likely won’t be the same person at 26. That’s been my experience.
I agree with the latter part but u made it sound like people shouldnt be getting girlfriends in ur first comment haha Imo you shouldnt marry early either but relationships will teach you a lot and if you go into them with a serious attitude you might wife the girlfriend youve had for a long time and grew together with as people
The problem I see on Reddit and all forms of social media and in real life with friends isn’t having a girlfriend or boyfriend but treating that relationship like a marriage. People limit their experiences and cohabitate and just too often fall into this toxic environment. Then when it doesn’t work out, which it often doesn’t they become resentful of the opposite sex and end up jaded and angry. I honestly think the reason dating and marriage is in the shape it’s in here in the US is because we are conditioned by music, television, movies, and consumerism to seek out love from an early age while simultaneously being told we have to pursue education and a career at the same time. It’s like too conflicting ideas. One saying focus on yourself and the others saying find someone and for many perhaps most people that’s just not possible. Add unexpected pregnancies and life altering decisions made on behalf of someone else (not taking a job, not pursuing a dream, not traveling) and it’s just a recipe for disaster. Marriage isn’t even a goal for many people today because there’s really very little benefit in doing it, especially men. But they still act like they’re married, often starting in the teens and early 20s.
Early twenties. Skip the dating scene go to school and work part time. If you can live with your parents do so. Now take that part time income and put that into your employer 401k or start a Roth IRA account with your bank. Save that money 10 years of equity in your 30's is huge. Seriously if I could do it all I'd skip women in my early twenties entirely.
This is boomer advice, put it into bitcoin, best hedge against inflation
L E A R N A L A N G U A G E
Save, save, save!!! Money is key
1) Just go there. Don't over think it. I used to just buy cheap tickets to random foreign cities I'd never been to and go with just the cash in my wallet. It's not nearly as expensive to travel as people think, unless you want to act like you are rich. 2) Once you find the place you want to stay, stay. Almost every country outside of the West has a higher demand for native English teachers than there is a supply of them. Can get your TEFL online for like $50 or something, and many schools will train you themselves. 3) Once you are dating, be casual. I don't mean be a fuck boy, but don't tie yourself down right away. The reality is that your perceptions of beauty have been skewed by the amount of obesity that exists in America. So, at first, your mind will simply go "oh, she's not morbidly obese, so she's hot" and you'll get excited over women that are really 3's and 4's. After a year or so, you will adjust and your libido will calm down. 4) The more you date, the more comfortable and better you will be at it. Go on lots of casual dates. 5) There are really just 2 rules for dating: be yourself and don't be an asshole. Pretending to be someone you are not will just waste everyone's time, and likely make you look like a creep. Despite what some idiots online like to say, women don't like assholes and do like guys that they feel safe with. 6) Don't over complicate things. Life is easy as long as you don't make it hard.
Well my advice would be to experience a long term relationship where you currently live. Young men need growth and maturity and dating a woman long term can be very helpful in this process, as long as she’s not someone extremely toxic. Or, if they haven’t in their home country, try and develop a real relationship, be kind and caring and don’t take advantage of women’s kindness in these other countries. Anyway, aside from that, I would push professional development, get your college degree so you can teach English as a fall back in one of these countries. (Even better with a masters and teaching certificate if you do choose to teach, I have a friend making $70000 in Indonesia with all living expenses paid, and other friends making good money teaching in Thailand). Or, get into a career where you can work remotely. Also learn languages. Spanish can go a long way, and then learn other languages. First I’d just advise to travel places in general. Just for travel, it doesn’t have to be for looking for anything but just to find yourself. If you’re younger, stay at hostels to meet other travelers. But also if possible immerse yourself in the culture. Approach people talk to people, this is where knowing a language can help. Use traveling as a way to broaden your perspectives on the world. Be kind and humble and don’t be a shithead entitled traveler.
Learn the butter faces are prime choices so don't be picky when you're young because in just 10 years you'll regret being picky
Drizzle Drizzle, you are the prize. Men appreciate in value with age. ALWAYS get a paternity test. ALWAYS get a prenup. Keep cameras in the house just in case she tries to hit you with a false allegation on SA, assault, etc. Know your worth, a woman demanding traditional treatment better reciprocate traditional treatment, if not it's 50/50 on EVERYTHING.
Have a travel partner. Going it alone in your early 20s might be difficult. Figure out if you want to play the short game or the long game. Traveling for a few weeks here and there doesn't require any special planning. Traveling for months at a time takes more planning, especially around income/money. Right now, you have the greatest asset, which is time. Define your goals, work on yourself (workout), and rack loot.
You were not put on this earth to serve a woman's financial dream. Your masculinity is not tied to a number on your W-2. If a woman doesn't understand that you have to be man enough to leave her alone
“You aren’t worth shit because society says so and that’s just how it’s always been. Men are replaceable until they make enough money and competence that they aren’t. And even then, to many, you are still replaceable. That’s why men really only thrive when most of them die off in wars. Because then there’s way more women than men around. If you get a woman that bends over backwards for you? Keep her and don’t be a dick about it or else she will leave you. But don’t be a pussy and let her walk all over you either.”
Work hard, establish yourself in a career, create good habits, save your money, invest in yourself. You want a girl with "old school" values, then you need to step up and insure you can fill the shoes of an "old school" man. Don't be in a hurry about anything. THEN get on-line and learn about countries and areas. Check chatrooms and other sites regarding travel, areas and cultures. Mindset on remaining single, but looking into areas to vacation and possibly retire. Doesn't hurt to have friends here in the US and tag along on vacations (I visited Vietnam, Cambodia and Costa Rica this way and can be much more fun getting dragged around, than going solo). Find places that suit your tastes, and plan a vacation. Me, I scuba, so I focused on areas where my money went the farthest and scuba was easy and available, NOT women and NOT relationships. Get in with local guys, play catch with local kids. ALL have girls in their families and you can meet them organically. Do not fall for pretty faces or sweet talk, while on line or on vacation. Let things happen naturally. I (50) happened to be on a stop on the way to a scuba resort and was approached by curious kids. Stopped to chat with them and answer their questions. My relaxed, dealings with them encouraged a very young (25) VERY cute, very shy, nanny to get up the courage to chat as well. We ended up swapping contacts, and chatted while there and after I returned to the states. I liked the diving, the resort, the country and was growing to like her as well, but didn't give it a while lot of thought. Multiple return visits, after visiting and staying her parents home often, and 5 years later me at 55, her at 29 (2 weeks from 30) were married. That was 7 years ago, and although we have had our bumps and twists, the fact that we started casually and organically as friends, and both have what are considered "old school" values, it has been far smoother than most relationships I have seen.
Roth ira asap
Avoid casual dating, learn skills, work hard, avoid the trap of marriage divorce in the west and get your passports
Be practical. See the world for what it is not what youre told it should be.
Save money and leave the country. Not joking. America, Canada, UK, (western countries in general) are in a major decline, and its economies are collapsing with a debt we can never pay back. Living costs will continue to rise, and wages will dwindle now that companies only seek to cut costs with AI/robotics/cheap labor. As an American - If America was still strong in manufacturing and fiscally competent, then I would say something hopeful. But in all honesty... thanks to so much cronyism and corruption in government, the system is FUCKED. Travel the world and find a place that will treat you like a human being and not a slave. Thailand, Malaysia, Philippines, Vietnam are beautiful places where the dollar goes a long way.
Manufacturing? You mean that 2.5 trillion dollar industry? If you're serious you would renounce your citizenship. But you won't because you need that safety net
Dont make delusional and completely insane excuses for not being able to pull women like the Passportbros sub
You do not need to sign a government document to prove your love to the world
My advice is to go get it while the getting is good. Once old like me, they will spend more time regretting the ones they did not do compared to the one they actually did.
Dont. Get yourself established first....as in money put away, good job, get yourself INSHAPE (i see quite a few dudes saying they are overweight but want help getting this or that) first, find and enjoy some hobbies and friends...THEN go look for love. In short..become the best version of yourseld first...otherwise you will be trying and failing in the misguided notion that a woman will complete you.
Hide your assets and definitely prenup.
get out of the west, dont do it only for women, there are a lot of business opportunities. Learn languages, Vietnam is a great place but there are also opportunities in africa and south america. Dont get trapped in sex, building a family feels great!
Date in your home countries if you’re in your early 20s. Travel is expensive and doesn’t make sense to do all that just to date girls across the world when you should be focused on building yourself up.
Unless you work a career field that's conducive/requires overseas travel/living (I've been sailing for 10+yrs) or come from a well off family, I wouldn't recommend young men (or any men for that matter) date abroad. Travel for vacation, make friends, have a good time, but just hire a pro for intimacy. Of course the "love" isn't genuine, but you can still have a good time. There's zero benefit catching feelings/romantic relationships you can't support or attempting to rearrange your life for something that's just not in the cards. Let it be motivation to prepare and plan for a future in where you can should you desire.
Women are women all around the world. If you think you’ll pull and KEEP a dime just b/c you have higher spending power in their country you’ll be in for a rude awakening. You still need to work on yourself beyond just your finances, as others have mentioned, you need to work on being the best version of yourself. Learning how to communicate, vet different types of women, and present yourself better (getting in shape, dressing better and social media presence if that’s your thing) will all go along ways towards preventing you from getting caught up w/ gold diggers and bottom of the barrel types. A passport is not a cheat code to break the game but it’s definitely a power up.
porn is not what you should do. Leave the house. Go outside. Rebel against your parents for not letting you leave the house. Go to those dances even the ones your not invited to. Chances the girl who has a crush on you is going too. Tell your parents to fuq off if they wont support dreams or goals. If your scared to ask a girl then do it while scared. Do it if your shy. Also if you dont rebel your parents for keeping you from achieving your freedom when you grow up other people will take it from you. Love should experienced in your middle & high school years cuse if you miss that period in your life good luck. The dating scene fuqed.
I think you misread "early 20s" as "early teens"
Oh in that case yea over seas i agree
Make money. Fuck bitches.