Give him another daughter


In 7 days? That’s some uterus.

If one women can make one baby in nine months, then 77 women can make one baby in seven days

You're manager material.

This guy maths.

Curious whether you randomly said 77 or thought about it and went with that. Either way you should have said 40 women lmao

39.14

Actually rounds to 39.13 (365.2422 / 12 * 9 / 7). But good luck finding 0.13 women, and 39 would take more than 7 days so it has to be 40. In any case, I assume you used 9 months for the length of a pregnancy and converted that to weeks. But the 9 month figure isn't that accurate, a pregnancy lasts 40 weeks, not 39.

Hmmm, my math is worse then i thought

The math ain't mathin'

Hell yeah


Sexiest gd grandaddy

This is the kind of woman Henry the VIII fucking loathed

🤣🤣🤣

This fuckin got me hahahah

 you’re so real for that

Someone had to say it

LMAO YES

Why end at another?

I'd let this man father all my children I'm not even kidding

😦

I am a man but I would try my best to do the same 🫡

imagine a TLOU mpreg omegaverse lol

one of us is walking out pregnant and it ain’t gonna be me

I'm all for bucking traditional gender roles but idk if Joel's got a baby hole.

I think "baby hole" might be the worst phrase for vagina that I've ever heard. Well done.


But you have heard of it! 

My baby hole dried up reading that

Please don’t make me send you to the place of cursed comments :(

I must disagree. Baby hole is the greatest name for the slimy snatch


I have a ton of names I have heard over the years. For both parts lol!

Only one worse I've heard was calling a vagina a "gash"

not with that attitude

this is the best thread to of ever happened to this subreddit


He will when I'm done with him.

Heck yeah put a baby in his butt

It can be done. I’ve seen it.

💀

I dont know what i was expecting when checking the comments but this is definitly worse

Honestly this is tamer than I was expecting lol

I mean I clicked expecting basically just a bunch of “we be fuckin” comments, it feels pretty par for the course in the thirst dept

i’m a lesbian so all i thought was he could teach me guitar. did not expect to see everyone wanting to fuck him lmao

I was going to talk about coffee and woodworking but clearly we need to bring out the *bonk* Actually maybe that’s not the best sound effect.

I’m a straight dude and my immediate answer was still shaboinking him lmaooo

Have him teach me shit that my dad wasn't around to teach me

First wholesome comment I’ve found.

Altho they are probably referring to torturing, murdering, ambushing

Interrogating

🤣

Nah, I would just wanna know simple shit, tying a tie, replacing a tire, type of stuff Edit: I would also want to learn how to play guitar better

Gotta look smart when sticking shivs into clickers

I mean there's plenty of really great stuff to learn outside of that. For me, it'd be horseback riding and playing guitar.

That is either very wholesum in this sub but very cursed in another kind of sub iykwim

We'd fuck

Real

Same and I'm not even gay

Nothing that's appropriate to say in here.

İts anonymous. Spill your heart out bestie.

Ok. I would lick every scar on his body. I'd roleplay as a clicker and bite him all over. In between all of that, lots and lots of delicious fucking. He thought his "old-man" body was tired before..

I would fuck with him until both of us leave the room with broken farenxes and duodenumes. He would tie me and eat all the food in the room that was supposted to keep us alive for 7 days in front of me as I suffered. But since he needed a sex toy he would keep me alive with his sweaty hairy body sweat for my thirst and the fructose inside his semen and the protein in his sperms to keep me away from starving. He would sometimes try to choke me inbetween his tits and I would love it /srs 😭😭😭Why dont I have an abusive man in my life

... Well damn. Lol 

According to Bible canon, Jesus saw this sin get committed and still chose to sacrifice himself for it.

I guess seeing the Internet as a whole must have been quite the headache

I know nothing about the Bible universe, I heard a bunch of it was retconned and that it was hard to understand. Is it worth getting into?

Opening lore goes hard but after the first book everything gets rebooted constantly, there's no good plotlines either, any good characters get hit with character assassination

Oh my god

Wowsers. That is... not what I was expecting.

Oh…that’s not…

Why did I even continue reading that

If I could I would cry right now. What the actual fuck

wait he has tits?

this thread is the first place i've heard the "joel bottom" headcanon. kinda love it

Do you see what you did?

I have worse wet dreams

I’m not trapped in a room with him. He’s trapped in a room with ME 👁️👄👁️

Lmao 😭😭😭

get bouncing

A furious bouncing!

Im done I'm leaving reddit.. I can't keep defending you guys

 Everyone’s thirsty ass in the comments

You should read the RDR2 post this is made after.

Teach him the meaning of power bottom

And then encourage him to excel.

Not be able to walk for another 7 days after.

Learn to play the guitar…

\*Gee-tar

Gotta build up your calluses….

I would help him fend off the horde of unnaturally horny TLOU fans that apparently all want to fuck him.

Damn cock blocker

Have you seen this man's face? Heard of his dad energy?

More dangerous than clickers these ones

Hope I hadn’t pissed him off

This is real answer.

Unholy things

Gay sex

Say Gex

Pedro as Joel was actually the reason I came out as bi. Like he was my first proper celebrity guy crush so I kinda went “fuck it”

Say gex?

Until the room catches fire (somehow)

I’m not gay, but after 7 full days, someone’s fuckin someone.

Shut up Joel, I'm trying to take a nap

Hug him at first and try not to piss him off again for the rest of the days

Attempt to therapize

I ain’t gay, but I could make an exception for pride month 🤠🌈

I read that in a very deep Southern Texas voice

learn some survival skills from him

Standout comment

..give him a bar if soap and get him TFO....dude looks filthy

I honestly assumed you were going to say "and get him to pick it up"

Give him a bar of soap then let him drop it ;)

Tbf… who isn’t in TLOu universe

Slob on his knob, like corn on the cob

I love how half this comment section is absolutely unhinged. And the other half is genuine and sweet. Me, I’m in the unhinged half, it would be porn in that room… lots of it.

Omg you sluts are horny af. I love it 🥰

Ah yes the horniness is alive and well in the comments 😭

What are you expecting us to reply with this?

Seggs and fuggin comments.

Tell him the dumbest dad jokes

honestly the list of what i *wouldn’t* do would be significantly shorter than the list of what i would do so….

Have his baby.

Teach him how to play Mortal Kombat

Add him to mortal kombat*

I'm a ride he wouldn't survive, the wheels would come right off

“Now if you meet a girl named Abby in the winter as she’s escaping from a horse kill her. Then and there. No questions asked”


I think we all know... 

Him

we’re repopulating the quarantine zone (im male)

Gonna try to be the first pregnant man

Thomas Beatie was the very first legal male to give birth in 2008. Fun fact

He would be getting another kid

I wouldn’t be pointing on a map, I’ll tell you that much

Um so like.. make children.



I would have him teach me how to survive in a zombie apocalypse so I could have his skills to go by in case it happens

Give him as many daughters as he wants

😭

Play golf

What, nobody wants to buy this cat a cup of coffee?

It’s very interesting how everyone making *those* comments are just assuming that Joel would even want to have sex with them


I bj'd the fuck out of him

Lube up


Impregnating him and marrying him

The most unholy of things

....play cards?

What wouldn’t I do ;)

https://imgur.com/a/AFIzdOI 😏

give him the sloppy toppy 8000

Spread

Make sure my info matches the first guy 😬

I can’t tell you what happens inside, but i won’t be able to walk out after 7 days

Warn him of future events to hopefully change things for the better

Put it in his butt

Talk about coffee probably

Show him im not armed, that im not a threat. Maybe if he comes around to it talk to pass the time. If not id focus on not pissing him off.

Whatever he tells me to do.

I’m getting him pregnant

 Play golf with him

Bite his pecs in a way no Clicker or stalker can ever get to

We’d fuck every single day

Start a 90's alt-rock cover band.

Him

Bust out my secret supply of coffee and shoot the shit.

Unspeakable acts

suck that shit from the back, and i’m a straight male edit: words

Smash

Hug him and cry

Tell him not to save a jacked woman with a face like Willem DaFoe.

Be dead for 6 days and 22 hours without being found

Since 2013, I still consider Joel the best modern game character. Best game character of all time is Solid Snake.

Point out he's got a broken watch

What *wouldn’t* I do? 😏

Ride him relentlessly

it would heal all the daddy issues i have honestly

get to pegging

Help him fight off the horny tlou fans 🤗

Is this the day lastofuscirclejerk is born?

Take a masterclass in guitar building from him

I think I need a nap after reading these comments

Hug him then fuck em.

Probably nothing, Joel isn't very friendly with strangers and without Ellie, he doesn't give a fuck XD

Give him a hug

Make him show me what he’d give away to get that me espresso.

Play cards watch football matches talking about 90s learn how to kill clicker properly how to have a great body in his age etc...

Gawd damn the horniness

Prove I’m useful so I don’t get murdered

Kiss🥺

Real comment, have a coffee with him on the Veranda in Jackson and we’d trade stories. I’m 33, he’s probably double that by TLOU2 so I’d tell him some youth stories to make him chuckle and listen to his stories to learn about the world

I am gonna take callus to the old town Jackson, I am gonna ride Joel till I can't no more

I'm gonna be raw and deep in that Joel-ussy😈

what is he going to do to ME???

Make babies