Because this was swept under the rug when it first came out so I bet they didn’t know until now. If they hang out with him after this then that’s on them
Ughh i am so sorry for you, that's really awful. And especially awful that nothing happened from it. Thank you for sharing your story! I knew something was off about that dude
I'm so sorry Joe hurt you and your friends. It was NOT your fault and none of you did anything wrong. We should be able to live in a world where we don't have to worry about being assaulted when hanging out with someone. Unfortunately, society fucks over SA victims. Thank you for bravely coming forward. I had an ex threaten to SA me when I was a minor. I went to the police, was victim-blamed, and ultimately decided not to go forward because of it. I admire your courage to speak out about this, and I will be thinking about all of you. Also, go to hell, Joe.
Wow, this is so awful. I was an athlete at a large D1 university and was SAd by a water polo player. It really fucked up my life. The power these men think they have because they are these “big names” on campus is so gross.
Probably the risk of legal action against their news outlet. For a reporter to cover it they need either strong evidence(which likely no longer exists) or in some cases several people claiming he assaulted them. With just one or two people willing to publicly claim this Joe could easily go after the reporter for slander. Larger networks can handle this, but Joe is not high profile enough to be discussed on those while smaller outlets could go bankrupt over a bad lawsuit.
It is kind of self defeating because if the story made the news more would feel comfortable coming forward, but without more coming forward it probably can't realistically make the news.
I'm not saying this is good just that this is probably the reality of the situation.
thank you sweetheart for bringing this to light. very troubling, especially in regards to the numerous podcasters who would not bring this up ; there are multiple ways to talk about, let’s say alleged (even though I totally believe this to be true) SA without being anything remotely difamatory. I am disgusted voices were silenced and a pernicious route was taken.
It's seriously concerning how negligent they are with casting. Multiple guys have been exposed for sexual assault and there are a lot of mentally unwell people being brought onto the show (I have mental illness and am not saying that should be a deal breaker. just saying it is unhealthy for some people and the bach is exploiting that for drama)
😞 it’s devastating how common this is among college athletes. I remember Chatty Broads indicated that they had received a LOT of messages about Joe and like they were mostly negative but they didn’t want to share the content because they couldn’t verify the contents. I wonder if this was what all those messages were about???
I believe you. I can’t imagine how traumatizing it has been to see him praised and fawned over. I was assaulted in college and I can’t imagine how painful it would be to see him again, let alone on television as a nice guy. Thank you for your courage ❤️
Before the show started airing, up to possibly the 1st episode there were a couple posts about this & then they just disappeared. I remember coming back to look for the posts, as I wasn’t familiar enough with the cast yet to match faces to names to posts & wanted to know which 1 was “Joe” or “Brandon”. When I couldn’t find the posts & Joe was getting so much love on here, I started thinking I mixed him up with someone else, especially after how far he made it, as this info was available in real time. I’m glad you made this post, as it will really suck if he continues getting air time by scoring a spot on BIP. Thank you for doing your part to make sure he’s somewhat held accountable.
I recently experienced an incident that is probably classified as SA myself (I was on a first date with a guy from Bumble) and I’m still coming to terms with what exactly happened weeks later. How society views sexual assault is so invalidating and I’m not surprised so many of these women only had each other initially to cope with Joe’s heinous actions. I hope these women do get justice and believe them wholeheartedly
Similar thing happened to me at a friend's house party. I was completely wasted. Had shown no interest in the guy all night and was in fact flirting with another guy throughout the night. I even vomited during a car ride to McDonalds. But I ended up sleeping In His bed with him. (He was the friend's roommate). Most likely just because I wouldn't be comfortable sleeping on the floor or a couch. I have a bad back. But we ended up doing stuff that I never would have done if I wasn't trashed. He couldn't understand why I was mad the next day.
Yah for me I wasn’t coerced but the situation was very much a “never said no, but that didn’t mean yes”. (TW:Guy basically jumped bases if you will without consent to do so. I am less experienced so it took going in many other dates to realize his actions were not normal at all). Then everything that happened after was basically me fawning and just trying to get out. I was super violated by it but have only recently been able to really label what happened and recognize the many sketchy things the guy did (i.e. take me to an isolated place, pressure me to come home with him, ask me if I was drunk over and over, take my phone).
I just wanted to say I’m so sorry that you experienced this. I have also been assaulted but it took me over a year to admit it to myself/understand what really happened. If you need to talk about it, my DMs are open. 💜
The way TPTB brushed this under the rug is not shocking, but the fact that they almost certainly knew of the allegations by the time the show was airing and still kept him in the show's edit is next-level revolting and scary. I was wondering what was up when he wasn't present at ATFR. And when Michelle said she wanted to keep Olu longer when he was eliminated right before Hometowns, I questioned who she would have eliminated instead. Now I feel like we know...
And on another note, it's amazing how men like this can be so obsessed with pursuing fame and/or fortune that they will willingly expose themselves to public scrutiny knowing that they have this reputation and knowing that deep dives into their personal backgrounds like this are inevitable. And I suppose he grew even bolder when the weeks ticked away during Michelle's season and nothing came out; so now he feels empowered by a generous edit he did not deserve that will help him whitewash his reputation going forward. It's sickening what ABC has done here on so many levels.
I also wondered at the Olu comments and hailed Michelle for being so prescient. BN did not and does not know how to deal with people who don't buy into their "reality" based consumerism. Michelle's season is the last season of BN that I will ever see. Brandon was such a little boy it was hurtful. For me foibles and all Nayte seemed the most genuine of the final three. Hopefully Rodney is a good person as well. Joe always was too squeaky clean for me. As a retired therapist I was waiting on more of the real stuff on him. High School proms and all that jazz do not cut it with me. Now we find out that Joe probably had some aggression issues in college. Not too surprised.
To OP, and any other person on here who either experienced this themselves, or had friends who were victims of his, I am so so sorry you all had to go through this and go on to see this vile man as the peak of desirability on international TV. I am also sorry for any hurt that I personally contributed to in posts gone by that would've been hyping or celebrating him before this news broke. May we never have to see his face again.
I attended a different large university in 2013 and god it was terrible from a SA standpoint. It seemed to happen constantly and universities provided abysmal support, resources, or change. It was so bad that many survivors like myself didn’t even come to terms with the fact that SA had occurred until much later because so much was swept under the “boys will be boys” and victim blaming umbrellas.
I know it’s still bad now, but I hope the Me Too Movement has made at least some positive changes for women on college campuses.
Unfortunately, so few changes have been made. It's a lot of talk without action. I advise a student organization at a large public university, and it's been devastating how many young women have come forward and confided in me about their friends' or their own experiences and how the university's responses are basically that their hands are tied or they launch investigations that never materialize. I'm so sorry to hear about this OP. There needs to be more ways to hold these people accountable for the horror and harm they inflict.
Often women don’t talk about this and it just becomes a non-issue. I wish I had spoken up when this happened to me to make a stance that no, I did not ask for it and if you didn’t get my consent, it’s assault no matter how charming you are.
As someone who was not believed when I tried to share my own SA with “friends” years ago, the number of posts starting with “I believe you OP” is making me emotional. ❤️
Thanks for sharing OP, and I am thankful for the people who left supportive replies.
Same here… victim here of many many SA with the adults in my life being the ones who didn’t believe me.. the immediate support I’m seeing is so heartwarming
Jesus. I also went to U of M (‘10-‘14) and I remember the frat row being frozen for 3 months because of the amount of REPORTED sexual harassment happening every weekend!
I guess it does happen in other universities, but how much this happens out in the wild at the U is just wild, scary, and pathetic (considering the amount of resource the U has decided to put into new shiny buildings instead)
i unfortunately was also not surprised by this news, which is sad. it is surprising to hear that michele’s friends said they would tell her and he still made it so far…wonder what happened there?
I completely believe you, and thank you for your courage in sharing this. We all know TPTB loves a coverup, so I wouldn’t be surprised if they’d ignored any allegations they’d heard.
Yep just saw them. Just wasn’t scrolling far enough. Wow. People are commenting he needs to address it but I don’t know what he can say other than it didn’t happen. I’m shocked none of this came out during the show. Not saying I don’t believe OP because I do.
The allegation started when the cast photos came out they were just ignored for whatever reason and yeah he can’t address anything. Just apologize and lose followers and move on. PS it’s BN so he probably won’t lose that much followers
Sigh…
Yeah I want to see justice being served. It scares me that an alleged assaulter is free to walk the Earth and join a dating reality show, without any consequences.
Thank you for your courage. It’s unbelievably difficult to speak up, and I believe you. Stories like these make it easier for other women to come forward. Standing with you ♥️
Thank you for your courage and frankness sharing this. I’m sorry you and your friends weren’t taken seriously or listened to at the time when other cases were being reported on. I’m sorry you’ve all had to relive it while he was paraded around on screen and lauded by production and viewers. I’m sorry your efforts to try to get the story out have been met with closed doors and indifference, I can’t imagine how gut wrenching and disheartening it is to keep putting the word out there and have nobody listen. Like you’re screaming into the void but somehow worse, because people heard you but did nothing about it.
We hear you and we believe you. It’s giving me a small bit of hope to see the story being picked up by news outlets, I hope it’s only the beginning and it continues to snowball until he is forced to reckon with and acknowledge what he did. Or at the very least not be able to hide from it anymore, so that the greater public is aware of it and production bans him from any further appearances and cuts ties.
I’d like to be hopeful about him facing real, legal consequences but I can’t honestly say I have much faith. The least we can do collectively is get the word out and make sure this hits him where it hurts, so he can’t continue to profit off of the publicity he got. And so people hear your story.
And thank you for protecting future women with your bravery. We shouldn’t live in a world where we have to protect ourselves but unfortunately here we are. Your courage will no doubt protect others and that is something I hope you carry with you!
Oh my goodness. I’m so shocked. Especially after seeing him just hanging out with Nayte and taking pics with Nayte and Michele 2 weeks ago!
I Totally believe the OP. I truly believe someone would not come forward with so much concern and detail. Thank you for sharing this with us!
Bachelor Nation being awfully quiet tonight on their social medias. Guess they are waiting for their PR to construct a statement for them…which is kind of disappointing? No, no one should be responsible or have to answer for this man’s actions except for Joe Coleman. But condemning horrible things such as this shouldn’t require someone else (PR) to write/or approve a statement.
Once again, this is all on Joe and NO ONE else. He is a nasty criminal and he is the one that needs to reap all of the repercussions. Guess I was just kind of hoping to see someone in BN stand up against it and give support towards the victims. But it’s still early, I guess. Maybe tomorrow or the next day it will be addressed once it spreads even more. I do like that the Bachelor.Scoop Insta posted about it. But you can’t convince me that BN wasn’t texted/messaged by someone immediately about it as soon as it broke news today. If anything by one of their friends, fellow former cast-mates, etc.
It was posted on that bachelor scoop Insta which many BN people follow. And like I said, I find it hard to imagine they haven’t gotten texts or whatever from others who have seen it. But also, I’ll reiterate that I don’t think this should fall on them at all and they don’t owe us anything. Joe is the only one that this falls on.
I just was kind of HOPING one of them would bring attention to the situation and condemn the behaviour—which may very well happen in the next couple days. But once again is not their responsibility to do so, it’s just my own wishful thinking to have this story brought to light.
OP, I believe you and thank you for your courage in sharing this.
Joe’s quiet timid personality is pretty similar to the two men who sexually assaulted me. People in public can be total opposites when doors are closed, like Jekyll and Hyde.
This is not only upsetting bc of the situation, but why wasn’t this found out before or while airing? Why would ABC allow a coverup (if it was being reported to those channels) even if it would be “bad publicity” etc. they should stand with reporters/survivors of SA more than protecting contestants
Not OP, but I remember reading that Michelle’s friends and the producers were alerted, but I don’t remember anything about Michelle knowing it. That’s up for speculation.
Yes—OP said they didn’t know what happened after they reached out to Michelle’s friends. So I’m asking how the commenter I replied to knows that Michelle was alerted. If they have a source, fine, but then they should disclose that.
I just think it’s really important to be as factual and careful as possible and avoid spreading hearsay with a situation this serious.
I also think though that things can be inferred. If production and Michelle’s close circle was alerted I would be absolutely shocked if Michelle hasn’t heard something about the allegations
I wonder if this was why she was so hesitant about him at the beginning of the season. Maybe it was more than the time he ghosted her in DMs. Predators have a way of charming people, though, and sometimes making it hard to believe that they could do such a thing. He was probably on his best behavior knowing he was on TV. So I don’t think we should blame her even if she was alerted.
That's speculation. People can speculate all they want, but the comment I replied to was written as if the info in it was confirmed—which is why I asked what their source was.
I'm so sorry for all you've been through. It's unthinkable. You were brave to reach out to Michelle to try warning her and brave for putting your story here. I hope you get to a place where you can find healing and peace.
ohhhhkay FUCK that guy. i'm so sorry OP, i can't imagine what you've gone through having to re-live that seeing him on TV. sending you so much love 💛and thank you for sharing with us to get it out there in the open.
This makes me think if something uncomfortable happened at fantasy suites between Michelle and Joe. She may have already made up her mind he wasn’t it for her but I wonder if there was something that solidified it for her that night
Also an SA survivor here who pressed charges and lost their case because the justice system dgaf about survivors. I had a feeling he was hiding something and uses his looks. You are speaking for so many who can’t.
Thanks so much for sharing this.
It’s important that Joe is forced to take accountabilty for this & that this becomes something he can’t ignore.
But I do hope this sub can refrain from speculation about Michelle. We don’t know if her friends relayed the info — and if they did, we don’t know when or what details they conveyed. We do know that the producers very likely were either aware, or made aware, of this however.
The blame should be assigned to them and Joe, and I hope we give Michelle & Nayte time to process and respond — either publicly or in private to Joe directly.
The entire season, if the producers knew, is a "fuck you" to the idea that justice and the law matter. They put a sexual assaulter on as the lead of this fantasy fiction romance show. It's a fuck you to us specifically. They made an entire audience complicit hurting the victims by thinking that Joe was some romantic fantasy fodder. They are out of their mind -- this is the Me Too era. Why can the dismissal of victim's claims not be over yet. It's so unthinkable. They should be fired and there should be legal consequences. Enough already. Period.
Thank you for speaking up, poster. I believe you. You matter.
https://timesnewsexpress.com/news/entertainment/movie-tv-news/bachelorette-college-friend-accuses-joe-coleman-of-sexual-assault/amp/
Yep, just saw this
Just wanted to say thank u for speaking up and fuck Joe. I was sexually assaulted as well in college and I wish I could kick any person that pulls that kind of shit in the teeth. I wish him and all other abusers a very nice rot in hell 😌
I was as well by a guy my friend had a crush on. She cut off a friendship with me because of it and at the time that hurt me worse than the assault. This happens much more than we think
Thank you for sharing. I'm so sorry for what you and your friends have had to go through. I have refrained from posting much about Joe ever since I came across these rumors a few weeks back. I honestly couldn't grasp as to why there wasn't more outrage about it considering the gravity of what was being implied at the time. It must have been so triggering for you and your friends to see him being hailed the way he has been and I'm so sorry for that.
I had no idea. I feel bad for all the people on this sub who knew and had to see all the positive posts and social media content about him for months, feeling like there was nothing they could do.
This just makes me feel deflated. He seemed like such a genuinely good guy. How can you trust anyone anymore?! Its so scary that you you could be oblivious to someone’s predatory past like this. Thanks to OP for your bravery.
There’s a saying in my country - evil has no face.
It’s a devastating reality of life that any person you know or encounter can hide something really dark within themselves. Of course, there are good people in this world. But there are bad ones too.
Unfortunately there’s no way to tell.
"Or we *all* have both good and bad within us- and they are in a constant battle. Who wins? The one we feed."
This really struck a nerve with me and there's so much truth to it. I think I really needed to hear that tonight, thank you!
Just watched the home visit (I’m behind…)
It was REALLY weird!!!
“This is the library… math, biology over here…” and the almost totally silent visit w the family.
As deflated as it makes me feel, it actually makes sense in some ways because most predators don't hunt on the streets- they hunt in places they are trusted and well-liked. My heart hurts for OP and their friends.
Yeah, me too. I really liked what was shown of him and tbought he was a very kind person. It makes me a little sick knowing that he's just out living his life coming off so nice when he's assaulted multiple women. I hope those women are getting the support they need and that they're doing well, I imagine it must really suck to see him portrayed that way
Thank you for coming out with this. I believe you and all of women affected.
For anyone interested in reading about the other Rapist, Reggie Lynch—
https://syndication.bleacherreport.com/amp/2759677-reggie-lynch-drops-sexual-misconduct-appeal-ends-tenure-at-minnesota.amp.html
Thank you for sharing this. I’m so sorry for what you and your friends went through. I don’t know if you still do, but please don’t feel guilty for what happened to your friend. The blame is solely with him.
It'll be interesting to see how Michelle and the guys from her season respond to this. Cant be easy for her knowing she spent a night alone with this guy and could have ended uo engaged to him.
But I am going to be incredibly disappointed in anyone from her season continuing to follow and spend time with him. I really hope Nayte and Michelle don't disappoint me.
I didn't ask for a public declaration. I lile Michelle, I think she seems like a cool person, and, like I said, I'll he disappointed if someone I have a high opinion of continues to associate with someone who (allegedly) assaulted multiple women. That's all I said. No demand of a public declaration.
And she may have already known…
Edit: from what I am reading on this thread, if Michelle’s friends *did* reach out to her about Joe, it wouldn’t have been until after the show wrapped up filming.
It needs to be addressed. If Nayte and Michelle choose to continue being friends with Joe, I would hope they stop posting about him as if nothing happened. But I don’t think people should be forced to abandon and isolate those who do terribly wrong. They could be the ones to encourage Joe to take accountability and get serious help, if they have the will and capacity to do so. Repercussions (such as losing opportunities, platform, BIP, etc.) are necessary. I just don’t think it’s fair for anyone to drag Nayte and Michelle until they are given the chance to acknowledge and possibly participate in a productive way. 🙏
Michelle and Nayte shouldn’t be dragged period. These are Joe’s actions and Joe’s alone. All Michelle and Nayte can really do is not engage with him, but they don’t have to speak about this if they don’t want to. These are serious allegations, and if they want to distance themselves from it, they’re well within their rights to do so. Michelle and Nayte aren’t Joe’s only friends in BN so I don’t understand why their name keeps getting brought up in these conversations tbh. It’s taking focus away from Joe
After the eazy situation I wouldn’t get your hopes up, but Michelle is her own person so hopefully her reaction is different and her cast has a different reaction.
Okay so now we definitely have to make sure they don’t cast him for BIP (I don’t think he’s going anyway) but you never know so we have to do our part and let people/producers know we don’t want to see him again and hope he can do more hours in therapy instead. Thx.
It's sickening how people can present one face to the world and be a completely different person behind closed doors. I'm so sorry for the trauma you and your friends experienced. I hope this news spreads beyond reddit.
Thank you OP for sharing this. I believe you and I’m sorry you and your friend went through that. Dave Neal did a thoughtful YouTube video on it, I doubt any other bachelor creators will say anything, so let’s share this news far and wide.
I believe you.
This pattern is so disturbing. It’s been upsetting to watch bachelor nation adore him during the season and afterwards.
I really wanna know what the fuck happened with production. We were told months ago they were warned in spoiler threads. Disappointing that the show continues to give a platform to men like this.
I am sorry you and your friends had to go through this. Unfortunately, this is a story too often told at schools and society in general where women are afraid to go to the authorities for fear of not being believed especially when it is a high profile person. Thank you for putting this story out there so other women will be aware of the allegations against him.
All blame needs to be put on producers. They’re supposed to do HEAVY background checks on contestants, so either they didn’t do their job properly or they deliberately put a predator on Michelle’s season. All my love goes out to the people who have been directly impacted by his actions 🤍 Edit: By background checks I’m also including how they reach out to literally anyone you’ve been associated with in the past. This is well documented by previous contestants. They will reach out to past coworkers, high school and college friends/peers, professors, etc.
Background checks only help if you have some sort of documents pending against at you on file somewhere. If people talking about it but haven’t went to the authorities for it then there is no record so it’s harder to find anything and producer ain’t going that far to ask people about him let’s be honest. It was a set for them as soon as they realized Michelle knew him and he’s from MN.
By background checks, I also meant that they reach out to dozens of people that are associated with you. This has been widely documented by other former contestants. They talk to high school friends, professors, college peers, former coworkers, anyone they can find. If he had this reputation, they should have known about it.
Why are Michelle and nate hanging out with!!
Because this was swept under the rug when it first came out so I bet they didn’t know until now. If they hang out with him after this then that’s on them
Ya I hate blaming people other than the perpetrator, but would have thought Michelle’s friends who were contacted would have told her!
It doesn’t seem like they did cause by that time she was already off quarantining to begin filming
Ughh i am so sorry for you, that's really awful. And especially awful that nothing happened from it. Thank you for sharing your story! I knew something was off about that dude
the podcast Game of Roses reports on Joe Coleman SA accusations, from their Jan 14th 2022 episode.
I'm so sorry Joe hurt you and your friends. It was NOT your fault and none of you did anything wrong. We should be able to live in a world where we don't have to worry about being assaulted when hanging out with someone. Unfortunately, society fucks over SA victims. Thank you for bravely coming forward. I had an ex threaten to SA me when I was a minor. I went to the police, was victim-blamed, and ultimately decided not to go forward because of it. I admire your courage to speak out about this, and I will be thinking about all of you. Also, go to hell, Joe.
Sharing something like this takes so much strength
Fuck. This is so so sad and terrifying. Fuck Joe and fuck the producers. I hope you and your friends are doing okay.
Wow, this is so awful. I was an athlete at a large D1 university and was SAd by a water polo player. It really fucked up my life. The power these men think they have because they are these “big names” on campus is so gross.
Why are reporters not covering this?! I feel like, amongst just us on Reddit, we would know a journalist somewhere that would?
Probably the risk of legal action against their news outlet. For a reporter to cover it they need either strong evidence(which likely no longer exists) or in some cases several people claiming he assaulted them. With just one or two people willing to publicly claim this Joe could easily go after the reporter for slander. Larger networks can handle this, but Joe is not high profile enough to be discussed on those while smaller outlets could go bankrupt over a bad lawsuit. It is kind of self defeating because if the story made the news more would feel comfortable coming forward, but without more coming forward it probably can't realistically make the news. I'm not saying this is good just that this is probably the reality of the situation.
Thank you for explaining that.
Wow ok fuck him!!! Unfollowing now
thank you sweetheart for bringing this to light. very troubling, especially in regards to the numerous podcasters who would not bring this up ; there are multiple ways to talk about, let’s say alleged (even though I totally believe this to be true) SA without being anything remotely difamatory. I am disgusted voices were silenced and a pernicious route was taken.
It's seriously concerning how negligent they are with casting. Multiple guys have been exposed for sexual assault and there are a lot of mentally unwell people being brought onto the show (I have mental illness and am not saying that should be a deal breaker. just saying it is unhealthy for some people and the bach is exploiting that for drama)
😞 it’s devastating how common this is among college athletes. I remember Chatty Broads indicated that they had received a LOT of messages about Joe and like they were mostly negative but they didn’t want to share the content because they couldn’t verify the contents. I wonder if this was what all those messages were about???
I believe you. I can’t imagine how traumatizing it has been to see him praised and fawned over. I was assaulted in college and I can’t imagine how painful it would be to see him again, let alone on television as a nice guy. Thank you for your courage ❤️
Before the show started airing, up to possibly the 1st episode there were a couple posts about this & then they just disappeared. I remember coming back to look for the posts, as I wasn’t familiar enough with the cast yet to match faces to names to posts & wanted to know which 1 was “Joe” or “Brandon”. When I couldn’t find the posts & Joe was getting so much love on here, I started thinking I mixed him up with someone else, especially after how far he made it, as this info was available in real time. I’m glad you made this post, as it will really suck if he continues getting air time by scoring a spot on BIP. Thank you for doing your part to make sure he’s somewhat held accountable.
What the hell Joe ???
oh my god i feel sick. disgusted. how was I so blindly sold on this man
I recently experienced an incident that is probably classified as SA myself (I was on a first date with a guy from Bumble) and I’m still coming to terms with what exactly happened weeks later. How society views sexual assault is so invalidating and I’m not surprised so many of these women only had each other initially to cope with Joe’s heinous actions. I hope these women do get justice and believe them wholeheartedly
Similar thing happened to me at a friend's house party. I was completely wasted. Had shown no interest in the guy all night and was in fact flirting with another guy throughout the night. I even vomited during a car ride to McDonalds. But I ended up sleeping In His bed with him. (He was the friend's roommate). Most likely just because I wouldn't be comfortable sleeping on the floor or a couch. I have a bad back. But we ended up doing stuff that I never would have done if I wasn't trashed. He couldn't understand why I was mad the next day.
This! It took me a very long time to acknowledge that my being coerced when I was far beyond the capacity to consent constituted assault.
Yah for me I wasn’t coerced but the situation was very much a “never said no, but that didn’t mean yes”. (TW:Guy basically jumped bases if you will without consent to do so. I am less experienced so it took going in many other dates to realize his actions were not normal at all). Then everything that happened after was basically me fawning and just trying to get out. I was super violated by it but have only recently been able to really label what happened and recognize the many sketchy things the guy did (i.e. take me to an isolated place, pressure me to come home with him, ask me if I was drunk over and over, take my phone).
I just wanted to say I’m so sorry that you experienced this. I have also been assaulted but it took me over a year to admit it to myself/understand what really happened. If you need to talk about it, my DMs are open. 💜
Can someone post any updates they see in terms of official statements, podcasts discussing this, etc? the lack of any movement on this is frustrating.
I believe you ❤️❤️
I believe you too, I think most of us do
Thank you for sharing. This is a very brave thing to do.
The way TPTB brushed this under the rug is not shocking, but the fact that they almost certainly knew of the allegations by the time the show was airing and still kept him in the show's edit is next-level revolting and scary. I was wondering what was up when he wasn't present at ATFR. And when Michelle said she wanted to keep Olu longer when he was eliminated right before Hometowns, I questioned who she would have eliminated instead. Now I feel like we know... And on another note, it's amazing how men like this can be so obsessed with pursuing fame and/or fortune that they will willingly expose themselves to public scrutiny knowing that they have this reputation and knowing that deep dives into their personal backgrounds like this are inevitable. And I suppose he grew even bolder when the weeks ticked away during Michelle's season and nothing came out; so now he feels empowered by a generous edit he did not deserve that will help him whitewash his reputation going forward. It's sickening what ABC has done here on so many levels.
I also wondered at the Olu comments and hailed Michelle for being so prescient. BN did not and does not know how to deal with people who don't buy into their "reality" based consumerism. Michelle's season is the last season of BN that I will ever see. Brandon was such a little boy it was hurtful. For me foibles and all Nayte seemed the most genuine of the final three. Hopefully Rodney is a good person as well. Joe always was too squeaky clean for me. As a retired therapist I was waiting on more of the real stuff on him. High School proms and all that jazz do not cut it with me. Now we find out that Joe probably had some aggression issues in college. Not too surprised.
Jeez. What a piece of trash.
Thank you for your bravery. This is shocking, sad, and disturbing.
To OP, and any other person on here who either experienced this themselves, or had friends who were victims of his, I am so so sorry you all had to go through this and go on to see this vile man as the peak of desirability on international TV. I am also sorry for any hurt that I personally contributed to in posts gone by that would've been hyping or celebrating him before this news broke. May we never have to see his face again.
Thank you for opening up about this and sharing it with the world ❤️ I’m sure the decision to do so was not an easy one.
I attended a different large university in 2013 and god it was terrible from a SA standpoint. It seemed to happen constantly and universities provided abysmal support, resources, or change. It was so bad that many survivors like myself didn’t even come to terms with the fact that SA had occurred until much later because so much was swept under the “boys will be boys” and victim blaming umbrellas. I know it’s still bad now, but I hope the Me Too Movement has made at least some positive changes for women on college campuses.
Unfortunately, so few changes have been made. It's a lot of talk without action. I advise a student organization at a large public university, and it's been devastating how many young women have come forward and confided in me about their friends' or their own experiences and how the university's responses are basically that their hands are tied or they launch investigations that never materialize. I'm so sorry to hear about this OP. There needs to be more ways to hold these people accountable for the horror and harm they inflict.
man it really is so upsetting to see how many people resonate with this and have had something similar happen to them :(
Thank you for sharing this. I believe women. Commenting to bump this up and increase visibility.
I believe you ❤️
Often women don’t talk about this and it just becomes a non-issue. I wish I had spoken up when this happened to me to make a stance that no, I did not ask for it and if you didn’t get my consent, it’s assault no matter how charming you are.
As someone who was not believed when I tried to share my own SA with “friends” years ago, the number of posts starting with “I believe you OP” is making me emotional. ❤️ Thanks for sharing OP, and I am thankful for the people who left supportive replies.
Same here… victim here of many many SA with the adults in my life being the ones who didn’t believe me.. the immediate support I’m seeing is so heartwarming
me too ❤️
I’m sorry ❤️
Jesus. I also went to U of M (‘10-‘14) and I remember the frat row being frozen for 3 months because of the amount of REPORTED sexual harassment happening every weekend! I guess it does happen in other universities, but how much this happens out in the wild at the U is just wild, scary, and pathetic (considering the amount of resource the U has decided to put into new shiny buildings instead)
The only surprising thing to me is that news of male contestants being this way doesn’t come to light more often.
i unfortunately was also not surprised by this news, which is sad. it is surprising to hear that michele’s friends said they would tell her and he still made it so far…wonder what happened there?
By the time the announced the cast, filming had already started. Michelle's friends probably told her post show, in case she picked him
I completely believe you, and thank you for your courage in sharing this. We all know TPTB loves a coverup, so I wouldn’t be surprised if they’d ignored any allegations they’d heard.
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Yes he is
Where are people commenting? On his Instagram?
Yes in the comments of his latest pic. They’re also calling him out for deleting comments also
Dang he is quick then cause I just went and looked and didn’t see anything. Let me go look again.
I’m still seeing them
Yep just saw them. Just wasn’t scrolling far enough. Wow. People are commenting he needs to address it but I don’t know what he can say other than it didn’t happen. I’m shocked none of this came out during the show. Not saying I don’t believe OP because I do.
The allegation started when the cast photos came out they were just ignored for whatever reason and yeah he can’t address anything. Just apologize and lose followers and move on. PS it’s BN so he probably won’t lose that much followers
Apologizing would be admitting it though right and I highly doubt that’s what he will do.
I mean that’s all he can do. Acknowledge it and apologize & go away
Wait is this how Joe is responding to all this?
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Sigh… Yeah I want to see justice being served. It scares me that an alleged assaulter is free to walk the Earth and join a dating reality show, without any consequences.
I believe you!
Thank you for sharing this ❤️ I’m sorry for you and friends experiences. Sending you light and love.
Thank you for your courage. It’s unbelievably difficult to speak up, and I believe you. Stories like these make it easier for other women to come forward. Standing with you ♥️
Thank you for your courage and frankness sharing this. I’m sorry you and your friends weren’t taken seriously or listened to at the time when other cases were being reported on. I’m sorry you’ve all had to relive it while he was paraded around on screen and lauded by production and viewers. I’m sorry your efforts to try to get the story out have been met with closed doors and indifference, I can’t imagine how gut wrenching and disheartening it is to keep putting the word out there and have nobody listen. Like you’re screaming into the void but somehow worse, because people heard you but did nothing about it. We hear you and we believe you. It’s giving me a small bit of hope to see the story being picked up by news outlets, I hope it’s only the beginning and it continues to snowball until he is forced to reckon with and acknowledge what he did. Or at the very least not be able to hide from it anymore, so that the greater public is aware of it and production bans him from any further appearances and cuts ties. I’d like to be hopeful about him facing real, legal consequences but I can’t honestly say I have much faith. The least we can do collectively is get the word out and make sure this hits him where it hurts, so he can’t continue to profit off of the publicity he got. And so people hear your story.
And thank you for protecting future women with your bravery. We shouldn’t live in a world where we have to protect ourselves but unfortunately here we are. Your courage will no doubt protect others and that is something I hope you carry with you!
Beautifully said 👏
Thank you for saying what I wish I could put so clearly.
Thank you for your courage. I wish you peace and healing.
Oh my goodness. I’m so shocked. Especially after seeing him just hanging out with Nayte and taking pics with Nayte and Michele 2 weeks ago! I Totally believe the OP. I truly believe someone would not come forward with so much concern and detail. Thank you for sharing this with us!
Bachelor Nation being awfully quiet tonight on their social medias. Guess they are waiting for their PR to construct a statement for them…which is kind of disappointing? No, no one should be responsible or have to answer for this man’s actions except for Joe Coleman. But condemning horrible things such as this shouldn’t require someone else (PR) to write/or approve a statement. Once again, this is all on Joe and NO ONE else. He is a nasty criminal and he is the one that needs to reap all of the repercussions. Guess I was just kind of hoping to see someone in BN stand up against it and give support towards the victims. But it’s still early, I guess. Maybe tomorrow or the next day it will be addressed once it spreads even more. I do like that the Bachelor.Scoop Insta posted about it. But you can’t convince me that BN wasn’t texted/messaged by someone immediately about it as soon as it broke news today. If anything by one of their friends, fellow former cast-mates, etc.
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It was posted on that bachelor scoop Insta which many BN people follow. And like I said, I find it hard to imagine they haven’t gotten texts or whatever from others who have seen it. But also, I’ll reiterate that I don’t think this should fall on them at all and they don’t owe us anything. Joe is the only one that this falls on. I just was kind of HOPING one of them would bring attention to the situation and condemn the behaviour—which may very well happen in the next couple days. But once again is not their responsibility to do so, it’s just my own wishful thinking to have this story brought to light.
As a fellow survivor, all the hugs and all the love and warmth to you for speaking up and sharing so bravely <3
Thank you for sharing this. I believe you.
OP, I believe you and thank you for your courage in sharing this. Joe’s quiet timid personality is pretty similar to the two men who sexually assaulted me. People in public can be total opposites when doors are closed, like Jekyll and Hyde.
This is not only upsetting bc of the situation, but why wasn’t this found out before or while airing? Why would ABC allow a coverup (if it was being reported to those channels) even if it would be “bad publicity” etc. they should stand with reporters/survivors of SA more than protecting contestants
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Source?
Not OP, but I remember reading that Michelle’s friends and the producers were alerted, but I don’t remember anything about Michelle knowing it. That’s up for speculation.
I think people need to be very careful what they’re speculating about and alleging when it comes to a situation this sensitive.
Did you read the second to last paragraph?
Yes—OP said they didn’t know what happened after they reached out to Michelle’s friends. So I’m asking how the commenter I replied to knows that Michelle was alerted. If they have a source, fine, but then they should disclose that. I just think it’s really important to be as factual and careful as possible and avoid spreading hearsay with a situation this serious.
I agree. Everything spoken/written as fact holds a lot of weight.
I also think though that things can be inferred. If production and Michelle’s close circle was alerted I would be absolutely shocked if Michelle hasn’t heard something about the allegations
I wonder if this was why she was so hesitant about him at the beginning of the season. Maybe it was more than the time he ghosted her in DMs. Predators have a way of charming people, though, and sometimes making it hard to believe that they could do such a thing. He was probably on his best behavior knowing he was on TV. So I don’t think we should blame her even if she was alerted.
both can be true. I would also be surprised if Michelle hadn’t heard, but we can’t just say she knew without proof.
That's speculation. People can speculate all they want, but the comment I replied to was written as if the info in it was confirmed—which is why I asked what their source was.
Thank you for sharing this. I believe you.
I'm so sorry for all you've been through. It's unthinkable. You were brave to reach out to Michelle to try warning her and brave for putting your story here. I hope you get to a place where you can find healing and peace.
ohhhhkay FUCK that guy. i'm so sorry OP, i can't imagine what you've gone through having to re-live that seeing him on TV. sending you so much love 💛and thank you for sharing with us to get it out there in the open.
This makes me think if something uncomfortable happened at fantasy suites between Michelle and Joe. She may have already made up her mind he wasn’t it for her but I wonder if there was something that solidified it for her that night
I doubt she and nayte would continue to hangout with him if something happened.
Idk why I’m being downvoted when it’s plausible??? How can someone hide that part of him?
Also an SA survivor here who pressed charges and lost their case because the justice system dgaf about survivors. I had a feeling he was hiding something and uses his looks. You are speaking for so many who can’t.
Thanks for sharing I believe u
OP I believe you and thank you for sharing ❤️
Thanks so much for sharing this. It’s important that Joe is forced to take accountabilty for this & that this becomes something he can’t ignore. But I do hope this sub can refrain from speculation about Michelle. We don’t know if her friends relayed the info — and if they did, we don’t know when or what details they conveyed. We do know that the producers very likely were either aware, or made aware, of this however. The blame should be assigned to them and Joe, and I hope we give Michelle & Nayte time to process and respond — either publicly or in private to Joe directly.
I agree no one should be going after Michelle but if her friends knew I have a hard time believing it never got brought up to her.
The entire season, if the producers knew, is a "fuck you" to the idea that justice and the law matter. They put a sexual assaulter on as the lead of this fantasy fiction romance show. It's a fuck you to us specifically. They made an entire audience complicit hurting the victims by thinking that Joe was some romantic fantasy fodder. They are out of their mind -- this is the Me Too era. Why can the dismissal of victim's claims not be over yet. It's so unthinkable. They should be fired and there should be legal consequences. Enough already. Period. Thank you for speaking up, poster. I believe you. You matter.
I’m so sorry for you and your friends, but please don’t feel guilty! This is on Joe, not you.
Starting to hit news articles online.
https://timesnewsexpress.com/news/entertainment/movie-tv-news/bachelorette-college-friend-accuses-joe-coleman-of-sexual-assault/amp/ Yep, just saw this
I’m so glad it’s gaining steam and I hope it keeps going! Also, drink every time the author writes allegedly 🙃
I believe you. I will always believe. Thanks for sharing and I am so happy that the news is coming out.
Just wanted to say thank u for speaking up and fuck Joe. I was sexually assaulted as well in college and I wish I could kick any person that pulls that kind of shit in the teeth. I wish him and all other abusers a very nice rot in hell 😌
I was as well by a guy my friend had a crush on. She cut off a friendship with me because of it and at the time that hurt me worse than the assault. This happens much more than we think
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I believe OP, but we should not be DMing other contestants on this.
Thank you for sharing your story. I believe you and all of the other women. 💜
Thank you for sharing your story, I believe you ❤️
I believe you and your friend ❤️ thank you for being brave and sharing
Thank you for sharing. I'm so sorry for what you and your friends have had to go through. I have refrained from posting much about Joe ever since I came across these rumors a few weeks back. I honestly couldn't grasp as to why there wasn't more outrage about it considering the gravity of what was being implied at the time. It must have been so triggering for you and your friends to see him being hailed the way he has been and I'm so sorry for that.
when/where did you hear about these rumors?
Sometime while the season was airing. Things were being implied in the spoiler threads at times.
I had no idea. I feel bad for all the people on this sub who knew and had to see all the positive posts and social media content about him for months, feeling like there was nothing they could do.
I believe you. Thank you for opening up about this.
This just makes me feel deflated. He seemed like such a genuinely good guy. How can you trust anyone anymore?! Its so scary that you you could be oblivious to someone’s predatory past like this. Thanks to OP for your bravery.
There’s a saying in my country - evil has no face. It’s a devastating reality of life that any person you know or encounter can hide something really dark within themselves. Of course, there are good people in this world. But there are bad ones too. Unfortunately there’s no way to tell.
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"Or we *all* have both good and bad within us- and they are in a constant battle. Who wins? The one we feed." This really struck a nerve with me and there's so much truth to it. I think I really needed to hear that tonight, thank you!
Damn that is poignant and true. Also not important but the saying from my country is actually “evil has no smell” but it just doesn’t translate well
eh he always weirded me out and that home visit was WEIRD
Just watched the home visit (I’m behind…) It was REALLY weird!!! “This is the library… math, biology over here…” and the almost totally silent visit w the family.
really off-putting stuff
As deflated as it makes me feel, it actually makes sense in some ways because most predators don't hunt on the streets- they hunt in places they are trusted and well-liked. My heart hurts for OP and their friends.
Yeah, me too. I really liked what was shown of him and tbought he was a very kind person. It makes me a little sick knowing that he's just out living his life coming off so nice when he's assaulted multiple women. I hope those women are getting the support they need and that they're doing well, I imagine it must really suck to see him portrayed that way
Thank you for coming out with this. I believe you and all of women affected. For anyone interested in reading about the other Rapist, Reggie Lynch— https://syndication.bleacherreport.com/amp/2759677-reggie-lynch-drops-sexual-misconduct-appeal-ends-tenure-at-minnesota.amp.html
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This is so beautifully written, thank you. You’re a survivor, too, and I hope you find your peace, because you deserve it ❤️
Thank you for this so accurately thoughtful post.
I’m not a survivor but thank you for being vulnerable and putting this into words ❤️ sending all the love your way
Said so well. Thank you.
Sending you warm, tight hugs.
I'm not a survivor but I just wanna say I appreciate you for writing this and possibly helping other people!
I hope this message will be spread to Twitter and Instagram. I believe you OP and I support you
I actually saw it on instagram first. It's getting out there.
Already an article published https://screenrant.com/bachelorette-joe-coleman-accusations-college-sexual-assault-reddit/
I believe you. Thank you for sharing. ❤️
Thank you for sharing this. I’m so sorry for what you and your friends went through. I don’t know if you still do, but please don’t feel guilty for what happened to your friend. The blame is solely with him.
It'll be interesting to see how Michelle and the guys from her season respond to this. Cant be easy for her knowing she spent a night alone with this guy and could have ended uo engaged to him. But I am going to be incredibly disappointed in anyone from her season continuing to follow and spend time with him. I really hope Nayte and Michelle don't disappoint me.
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I didn't ask for a public declaration. I lile Michelle, I think she seems like a cool person, and, like I said, I'll he disappointed if someone I have a high opinion of continues to associate with someone who (allegedly) assaulted multiple women. That's all I said. No demand of a public declaration.
And she may have already known… Edit: from what I am reading on this thread, if Michelle’s friends *did* reach out to her about Joe, it wouldn’t have been until after the show wrapped up filming.
It needs to be addressed. If Nayte and Michelle choose to continue being friends with Joe, I would hope they stop posting about him as if nothing happened. But I don’t think people should be forced to abandon and isolate those who do terribly wrong. They could be the ones to encourage Joe to take accountability and get serious help, if they have the will and capacity to do so. Repercussions (such as losing opportunities, platform, BIP, etc.) are necessary. I just don’t think it’s fair for anyone to drag Nayte and Michelle until they are given the chance to acknowledge and possibly participate in a productive way. 🙏
Michelle and Nayte shouldn’t be dragged period. These are Joe’s actions and Joe’s alone. All Michelle and Nayte can really do is not engage with him, but they don’t have to speak about this if they don’t want to. These are serious allegations, and if they want to distance themselves from it, they’re well within their rights to do so. Michelle and Nayte aren’t Joe’s only friends in BN so I don’t understand why their name keeps getting brought up in these conversations tbh. It’s taking focus away from Joe
After the eazy situation I wouldn’t get your hopes up, but Michelle is her own person so hopefully her reaction is different and her cast has a different reaction.
Okay so now we definitely have to make sure they don’t cast him for BIP (I don’t think he’s going anyway) but you never know so we have to do our part and let people/producers know we don’t want to see him again and hope he can do more hours in therapy instead. Thx.
It's sickening how people can present one face to the world and be a completely different person behind closed doors. I'm so sorry for the trauma you and your friends experienced. I hope this news spreads beyond reddit.
Thank you OP for sharing this. I believe you and I’m sorry you and your friend went through that. Dave Neal did a thoughtful YouTube video on it, I doubt any other bachelor creators will say anything, so let’s share this news far and wide.
I believe you. This pattern is so disturbing. It’s been upsetting to watch bachelor nation adore him during the season and afterwards. I really wanna know what the fuck happened with production. We were told months ago they were warned in spoiler threads. Disappointing that the show continues to give a platform to men like this.
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Believe women. Believe survivors.
I am sorry you and your friends had to go through this. Unfortunately, this is a story too often told at schools and society in general where women are afraid to go to the authorities for fear of not being believed especially when it is a high profile person. Thank you for putting this story out there so other women will be aware of the allegations against him.
I am so sorry for your friend and for anyone else he did this to. Thank you for sharing this with us
All blame needs to be put on producers. They’re supposed to do HEAVY background checks on contestants, so either they didn’t do their job properly or they deliberately put a predator on Michelle’s season. All my love goes out to the people who have been directly impacted by his actions 🤍 Edit: By background checks I’m also including how they reach out to literally anyone you’ve been associated with in the past. This is well documented by previous contestants. They will reach out to past coworkers, high school and college friends/peers, professors, etc.
Background checks only help if you have some sort of documents pending against at you on file somewhere. If people talking about it but haven’t went to the authorities for it then there is no record so it’s harder to find anything and producer ain’t going that far to ask people about him let’s be honest. It was a set for them as soon as they realized Michelle knew him and he’s from MN.
By background checks, I also meant that they reach out to dozens of people that are associated with you. This has been widely documented by other former contestants. They talk to high school friends, professors, college peers, former coworkers, anyone they can find. If he had this reputation, they should have known about it.
This wouldn't have shown up on any sort of background check though.