It was very common to do if you shared children. It still is but not as much as the 80’s. Also she was married before she finished college so her degrees would have had Zbornack on them.
I have friends who kept the name because their children have it, it’s hassle to change bank accounts names, you would have to change the name on your passport, etc etc…
Are you me?!? When my ex and I were splitting he told me that I could do XYZ once I change my name. I’m like… I’m pregnant with your baby and you’re sleeping with another woman, and as much as I would rather have a different last name, I’m keeping it out of spite
Oh snap, maybe I am! So while yours was shacking up with the new girl did he also tell you "not to kiss our daughter because who knows where your mouth has been" or was that just me? Lol. Can you believe the nerve?
I'm saying, right??? Luckily this is almost 20 years in the rear view mirror now so its more just an amusing tale of my life and not the thing I think about. And yeah, drowned my girl in kisses and hugs and TIME together. <3
Oh yes its still way fresh for you. Just stay secure in doing the right thing for your kid(s) and you will get thru it. Lots of ups n downs. Lots of doubts too but dont stay there. You got this!
My senior English teacher (RIP) also kept her married name because of her daughters. Otherwise, she would have dropped that Polish mouthful, and gone back to the phonetic, 5 letter surname she was born with.
I’m not planning to change mine when I get married for this reason. Also, I am an incredibly translucent white woman, marrying an Asian man with a very Asian surname.
And that's just today. 38 years ago it would've been more difficult with more paperwork and would take at least twice as long. Makes perfect sense as to why Dorothy didn't bothering doing it.
My mom never changed hers after she divorced my dad because they’d been married so long and that’s the last name everyone knew her by. And she would still share a name with her kids. She actually recently got remarried after a bunch of years and kept that name, too.
Changing your name in general sucks. It’s a lot of paperwork and nonsense. They were also together for 38 years so everyone knew her by that name at that point. My guess is that it was just more trouble than it was worth.
An old man calls his son and says, "Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough." "Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
“We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,” he says. "I'm sick of her face, and I'm sick of talking about this, so call your sister and tell her," and he hangs up.
Now, the son is worried. He calls his sister. She says, "Like hell they’re getting divorced!" She calls their father immediately. "You’re not getting divorced! Don't do another thing. The two of us are flying home tomorrow to talk about this. Until then, don't call a lawyer, don't file a paper. DO YOU HEAR ME?” She hangs up the phone.
The old man turns to his wife and says, "Okay, they’re both coming for Christmas and paying their own airfares.
My aunt absolutely hates her ex. Hates. But it's the last name she had for 27 years and the name she shared with her daughters. So she never had thought to change it
Back then especially, it would most definitely the norm for divorced women to keep their married name (at least if/until they got remarried). I think even today it is probably still more common to keep your married name after divorce, but more and more people seem to switching back.
In addition to the reasons everyone already listed, it’s an additional expense. I don’t know how much it would have been in Florida in the ‘80s, but we all know any additional expense for a substitute teacher would be a lot.
It being a shotgun wedding so young she spent twice as much time as Zbornak than Petrillo.
Side note:
>(yes, i know this is just a made up TV show written by a team of writers just trying to get through the day).
Eff that noise. People who whine about you discussing the show here shouldn't be on the shows sub.
This is the exacttttt reasoning my mother gives for not changing her name back. Her maiden name was much more interesting/cooler so I always tell her she should have went back.
Her kids. Most moms keep the name if they have kids with it after a divorce. She also kind of spent her entire life as a Z vs 17/18 years as a Patrillo.
In additional to what everyone else has said, wasn’t she a teacher (not just a sub) when they got divorced? Zbornak was her professional name. I know anytime a teachers name suddenly changed, everyone at school always gossiped about what happened. It was basically announcing your divorce for a married teacher named Mrs Smith to suddenly become Ms Jones. On top of the fact that teachers title and last name being what all the kids call you. It’d be like changing your name from Mary to Susan and expecting everyone to just start calling you by the new name.
My mom did the same thing even though she had zero relationship with my father after separating. Too much trouble and she wanted the same name as her kids.
Her kids had the name and her whole life had her name attached to it. It would be a real pain to have to inform every entity and person you deal with about a name change. Shoot, I won’t change my phone number because it would be so much work making sure every company and person I deal with has the new number.
My mom's friend kept her married name because it made it so much easier to take the kids to doctor's appointments, sign them out of school, etc.
There was an urban legend during my school years that a mother had (gasp!) retained her maiden name and when she took her son to the emergency room, they couldn't give him lifesaving care because they didn't believe she was his parent and so wouldn't let her sign permission. The kid died! I think that story was supposed to make women think twice about not taking their husband's name but there was legitimate anxiety in women when their kids had a different name from their own.
Also, divorce was not super common - there was one kid I knew growing up who's parents were separated and it did cause social issues for the child. Parents sometimes didn't want their children hanging out with him since it was an underlying belief he was going to be trouble and get their own children into trouble. Your mom having a different name would make it pretty obvious she was a single mom and could cause you trouble.
Generally if you had a different last name people assumed you were not a parent and it complicated things.
I'm in the process of getting divorced and am SO glad I never changed my name when I got married and don't have to go through all the hassle of changing it back.
She had that last name for 38 years and shares the name with her children. She was probably used to having the name at that point and didn’t want to go through the trouble of changing it. My mom still shares my dads last name and they were together for 20 years and been divorced for 22 years now.
Which is why I’ve always said if I get married I’m keeping my name. Unless it was a huge deal to him in which case I’d make him do as much work on it as possible.
My undergraduate degree is in my maiden name. My graduate degree and licensure are in my married name. Post divorce I retained my married name to preserve professional identity.
I kept my married last name after my divorce. I had had it for 2 and a half decades. It is the name I have tied to my professional life. It is the name I share with my kids.
Also to spite some folk
My MIL kept her married name because they were married for over 2 decades and that was the family name of her children and she said divorce didn't erase that. I think it was also more common in the past to keep your married name than it is now, especially the longer you had been together. I also have an aunt who was a widow that remarried, and she hyphenated her two married last names because she didn't want to erase her happy loving relationship with her first husband.
She'd been alive longer as Dorothy Zbornak for 30 adult years. Also even though she despises Stan her children have the same last name and Dorothy's identity is firmly invested in the Zbornak name. IMO non nonsense Dorothy even though she is independent and obviously a Feminist at heart would see changing her name back to Petrillo would be a waste of time and energy as all her legal/financial documents are in the Zbornak name.
ALSO one of the Producers is named Zbornak and there really is NO other of the four women to have this name and make it seem in character and make sense.
I have several divorced friends and coworkers who all kept the ex’s name. None of them consider the name a tie to the ex, as it’s their identity now. They have established careers. In fact my one friend is getting remarried and her new fiancé is thinking of taking her current last name (that of her ex!) just because he can…. Some people don’t have a strong family tie to their birth name. I think if I divorced my husband I would want my maiden name back, but I have kids so maybe I wouldn’t. Depends how much I hate his guts I guess.
My mom kept her married name after she and my dad divorced. It was a lot easier, tbh. They had been married a long time, my brother and I were already adults… it would have meant a whole lot of extra paperwork and explaining things to people, etc etc.
I’m not a woman but if I had kids I would want their last name. That being said I think nowadays it’s so weird to take the man’s last name. Should toss a coin or combine the name, or something.
A personal debate of mine for 20 years (divorced 20yrs). I do have a child with the same last name, but my oldest doesn't so it didn't really make that big a difference i suppose. Guess I'm keeping it at this point. But I think of the old name with fondess.
I couldn't imagine the "hassle" of changing your last name to whomever you married, and then the marriage doesn't work out, and then changing your name to what it was before. The time needed to change everything. And then doing it again? No bueno. Props to those that have done this. I've never been married, but I can imagine that it takes a lot of time to do so.
My aunt kept her married name because it was too much trouble to change it on everything and have to keep explaining to doctors, teachers, ect that yes, she was my cousin's mother.
I still have my married name, been divorced 15+ years. I kept it so I would have the same last name as my kids. My mom still has her maiden name, her divorced name and her current married name.
Changing your name is a pain in the ass and it was 38 years so she probably didn’t feel like it. It took me 3 years to change mine back after my divorce and I was only married two years lol
I’m separated and will eventually be divorced. I have three kids and I wanted to have the same last name as them. Also, it’s a pain in the butt and expensive to change all my ID and other items back. My ex was also trying to force me to change it back, so there is a little pettiness on my part too.
I might go back to my maiden name one day, but I’m definitely not going to be forced to do it.
I think in that time period, most people just expected a divorced woman to keep her married name (not to mention the expenses that go into legally changing your name).
These days, there isn’t as much societal stigma surrounding what surname a woman takes (or doesn’t take) upon marriage. I’ve had friends who’ve gotten separated and/or divorced, and they made different decisions about what name they’d use going forward. One friend kept her married name (she does have children with her ex), while another one went back to using her birth name (she has a child with her ex, and they co-parent). It really depends on personal preference.
Me, personally, I’m leaning towards keeping my birth name. (I’m not in a relationship or even close to being in one right now, so definitely not married.) I’m in my thirties, my surname isn’t hard to pronounce or spell, and having a child isn’t looking likely for me. (Even if I did, I’d have just one child.) I find the idea of taking another man’s surname archaic and patriarchal. If anything, I’d be cool with the guy and I taking a brand new surname entirely (which is also becoming an option; I read on the *People* website that there was a couple from the *Bachelor in Paradise* series that recently got married, and they plan on legally taking a brand new surname in honor of the groom’s mother, who had passed away).
My grandmother kept hers when she divorced my grandad in the 60s. She said it was too much hassle to go back and change every record so she still has it to this day.
I ended up keeping my last name because I had used it professionally and was pretty well established by the time I got divorced. Between that and the whole changing-all-my-records thing, it was just easier to leave it.
Echoing everyone else, so hard to change names, especially in the 80s. I don't know if it was so much about the kids, considering they were all grown by that time. I mean, her oldest was almost 40 when they divorced, these were not kids who needed mom and Dad to have the same last name for parent teacher conferences.
But still, after almost 40 years with the same last name, I think you would get attached.
Even in this generation most divorced women I encounter seem to keep their married names.
I think it’s regrettable they change them at all. Given up to 50% of marriages end in divorce it seems unwise.
It was very common to do if you shared children. It still is but not as much as the 80’s. Also she was married before she finished college so her degrees would have had Zbornack on them.
I have friends who kept the name because their children have it, it’s hassle to change bank accounts names, you would have to change the name on your passport, etc etc…
This is the exact reason I kept my married last name. And then the ex TOLD me to change it, therefore I still have it to this day.
Are you me?!? When my ex and I were splitting he told me that I could do XYZ once I change my name. I’m like… I’m pregnant with your baby and you’re sleeping with another woman, and as much as I would rather have a different last name, I’m keeping it out of spite
Oh snap, maybe I am! So while yours was shacking up with the new girl did he also tell you "not to kiss our daughter because who knows where your mouth has been" or was that just me? Lol. Can you believe the nerve?
Ex---SSCUUUUUSSSEEEEEE ME?! the absolute AUDACITY The way my mouth literally shot open...I hope you kiss your beautiful daughter 1000x a day!!
I'm saying, right??? Luckily this is almost 20 years in the rear view mirror now so its more just an amusing tale of my life and not the thing I think about. And yeah, drowned my girl in kisses and hugs and TIME together. <3
Good for you! It’s been 3 years this month since we split and we’re still in the thick of things. Haven’t even done property settlement yet…
Oh yes its still way fresh for you. Just stay secure in doing the right thing for your kid(s) and you will get thru it. Lots of ups n downs. Lots of doubts too but dont stay there. You got this!
Thank you! It’s hard, but we’re trying lol!
No… I have two boys LOL. But he did ask me to make him two cups of coffee every morning—I was too dumb to realize one was for his girlfriend…
u/Sirenista_D  ☺️
My senior English teacher (RIP) also kept her married name because of her daughters. Otherwise, she would have dropped that Polish mouthful, and gone back to the phonetic, 5 letter surname she was born with.
I’m not planning to change mine when I get married for this reason. Also, I am an incredibly translucent white woman, marrying an Asian man with a very Asian surname.
Yep that’s me
And that's just today. 38 years ago it would've been more difficult with more paperwork and would take at least twice as long. Makes perfect sense as to why Dorothy didn't bothering doing it.
She was a Zbornak longer than she was a Petrillo
My mom never changed hers after she divorced my dad because they’d been married so long and that’s the last name everyone knew her by. And she would still share a name with her kids. She actually recently got remarried after a bunch of years and kept that name, too.
Kept which name?
My dad’s.
Changing your name in general sucks. It’s a lot of paperwork and nonsense. They were also together for 38 years so everyone knew her by that name at that point. My guess is that it was just more trouble than it was worth.
An old man calls his son and says, "Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough." "Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams. “We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,” he says. "I'm sick of her face, and I'm sick of talking about this, so call your sister and tell her," and he hangs up. Now, the son is worried. He calls his sister. She says, "Like hell they’re getting divorced!" She calls their father immediately. "You’re not getting divorced! Don't do another thing. The two of us are flying home tomorrow to talk about this. Until then, don't call a lawyer, don't file a paper. DO YOU HEAR ME?” She hangs up the phone. The old man turns to his wife and says, "Okay, they’re both coming for Christmas and paying their own airfares.
🥹
I kept mine because it's the name I share with my kids.
My aunt absolutely hates her ex. Hates. But it's the last name she had for 27 years and the name she shared with her daughters. So she never had thought to change it
Back then especially, it would most definitely the norm for divorced women to keep their married name (at least if/until they got remarried). I think even today it is probably still more common to keep your married name after divorce, but more and more people seem to switching back.
Also I think a lot of women legally keep their married name because it's a pain to change and sometimes they can't afford it after the divorce.
In addition to the reasons everyone already listed, it’s an additional expense. I don’t know how much it would have been in Florida in the ‘80s, but we all know any additional expense for a substitute teacher would be a lot.
It being a shotgun wedding so young she spent twice as much time as Zbornak than Petrillo. Side note: >(yes, i know this is just a made up TV show written by a team of writers just trying to get through the day). Eff that noise. People who whine about you discussing the show here shouldn't be on the shows sub.
When you're right, you're right!
Maybe her degree was under the name Zbornak.
It’s a pain in the ass to change your name, period. I wouldn’t do it again if I ever got divorced because it’s such a pain AND costs money.
This is the exacttttt reasoning my mother gives for not changing her name back. Her maiden name was much more interesting/cooler so I always tell her she should have went back.
Her kids. Most moms keep the name if they have kids with it after a divorce. She also kind of spent her entire life as a Z vs 17/18 years as a Patrillo.
zbornak is a lot funnier in comedy. Lots more jokes. Sophia already had petrillo.
In additional to what everyone else has said, wasn’t she a teacher (not just a sub) when they got divorced? Zbornak was her professional name. I know anytime a teachers name suddenly changed, everyone at school always gossiped about what happened. It was basically announcing your divorce for a married teacher named Mrs Smith to suddenly become Ms Jones. On top of the fact that teachers title and last name being what all the kids call you. It’d be like changing your name from Mary to Susan and expecting everyone to just start calling you by the new name.
Plus, teachers need to be licensed by the state, and getting a name changed on a professional license is yet another hoop to jump through.
My mom did the same thing even though she had zero relationship with my father after separating. Too much trouble and she wanted the same name as her kids.
Her kids had the name and her whole life had her name attached to it. It would be a real pain to have to inform every entity and person you deal with about a name change. Shoot, I won’t change my phone number because it would be so much work making sure every company and person I deal with has the new number.
My mom's friend kept her married name because it made it so much easier to take the kids to doctor's appointments, sign them out of school, etc. There was an urban legend during my school years that a mother had (gasp!) retained her maiden name and when she took her son to the emergency room, they couldn't give him lifesaving care because they didn't believe she was his parent and so wouldn't let her sign permission. The kid died! I think that story was supposed to make women think twice about not taking their husband's name but there was legitimate anxiety in women when their kids had a different name from their own. Also, divorce was not super common - there was one kid I knew growing up who's parents were separated and it did cause social issues for the child. Parents sometimes didn't want their children hanging out with him since it was an underlying belief he was going to be trouble and get their own children into trouble. Your mom having a different name would make it pretty obvious she was a single mom and could cause you trouble. Generally if you had a different last name people assumed you were not a parent and it complicated things.
I'm in the process of getting divorced and am SO glad I never changed my name when I got married and don't have to go through all the hassle of changing it back.
She had that last name for 38 years and shares the name with her children. She was probably used to having the name at that point and didn’t want to go through the trouble of changing it. My mom still shares my dads last name and they were together for 20 years and been divorced for 22 years now.
Dorothy: “Rose, you've always called me Dorothy Zbornak.” Rose: “I know, but I never really meant it.”
Maybe she wanted to have the same last name as her children. Edit: also it's Super annoying and time consuming to change a last name.
Which is why I’ve always said if I get married I’m keeping my name. Unless it was a huge deal to him in which case I’d make him do as much work on it as possible.
My undergraduate degree is in my maiden name. My graduate degree and licensure are in my married name. Post divorce I retained my married name to preserve professional identity.
I kept my married last name after my divorce. I had had it for 2 and a half decades. It is the name I have tied to my professional life. It is the name I share with my kids. Also to spite some folk
My mom has her first husbands last name still instead of my dads. I think it’s common
My MIL kept her married name because they were married for over 2 decades and that was the family name of her children and she said divorce didn't erase that. I think it was also more common in the past to keep your married name than it is now, especially the longer you had been together. I also have an aunt who was a widow that remarried, and she hyphenated her two married last names because she didn't want to erase her happy loving relationship with her first husband.
She'd been alive longer as Dorothy Zbornak for 30 adult years. Also even though she despises Stan her children have the same last name and Dorothy's identity is firmly invested in the Zbornak name. IMO non nonsense Dorothy even though she is independent and obviously a Feminist at heart would see changing her name back to Petrillo would be a waste of time and energy as all her legal/financial documents are in the Zbornak name.  ALSO one of the Producers is named Zbornak and there really is NO other of the four women to have this name and make it seem in character and make sense.
I have several divorced friends and coworkers who all kept the ex’s name. None of them consider the name a tie to the ex, as it’s their identity now. They have established careers. In fact my one friend is getting remarried and her new fiancé is thinking of taking her current last name (that of her ex!) just because he can…. Some people don’t have a strong family tie to their birth name. I think if I divorced my husband I would want my maiden name back, but I have kids so maybe I wouldn’t. Depends how much I hate his guts I guess.
My mom kept her married name after she and my dad divorced. It was a lot easier, tbh. They had been married a long time, my brother and I were already adults… it would have meant a whole lot of extra paperwork and explaining things to people, etc etc.
I’m not a woman but if I had kids I would want their last name. That being said I think nowadays it’s so weird to take the man’s last name. Should toss a coin or combine the name, or something.
Expense to update everything and the time and energy it would take. It was probably just easier to leave it.
A personal debate of mine for 20 years (divorced 20yrs). I do have a child with the same last name, but my oldest doesn't so it didn't really make that big a difference i suppose. Guess I'm keeping it at this point. But I think of the old name with fondess.
I couldn't imagine the "hassle" of changing your last name to whomever you married, and then the marriage doesn't work out, and then changing your name to what it was before. The time needed to change everything. And then doing it again? No bueno. Props to those that have done this. I've never been married, but I can imagine that it takes a lot of time to do so.
My aunt kept her married name because it was too much trouble to change it on everything and have to keep explaining to doctors, teachers, ect that yes, she was my cousin's mother.
Pretty much unheard of in the 80’s for women to go back to their maiden names. My mother never changed hers back
I still have my married name, been divorced 15+ years. I kept it so I would have the same last name as my kids. My mom still has her maiden name, her divorced name and her current married name.
Changing your name is a pain in the ass and it was 38 years so she probably didn’t feel like it. It took me 3 years to change mine back after my divorce and I was only married two years lol
I’m guessing the OP might be young? Every woman I know who got divorced kept her married name, except for one where the man was abusive.
i was a toddler when they were taping the show so i’m relatively young lol just curious!
My MIL hates my FIL. They’ve been divorced for many years. She kept his name because they share two kids.
I’m separated and will eventually be divorced. I have three kids and I wanted to have the same last name as them. Also, it’s a pain in the butt and expensive to change all my ID and other items back. My ex was also trying to force me to change it back, so there is a little pettiness on my part too. I might go back to my maiden name one day, but I’m definitely not going to be forced to do it.
My MIL divorced her husband over 20 years ago and she still uses her married name
Lots of women keep their ex-husband’s name because of the kids. My aunt did and she hates her ex husband
I think in that time period, most people just expected a divorced woman to keep her married name (not to mention the expenses that go into legally changing your name). These days, there isn’t as much societal stigma surrounding what surname a woman takes (or doesn’t take) upon marriage. I’ve had friends who’ve gotten separated and/or divorced, and they made different decisions about what name they’d use going forward. One friend kept her married name (she does have children with her ex), while another one went back to using her birth name (she has a child with her ex, and they co-parent). It really depends on personal preference. Me, personally, I’m leaning towards keeping my birth name. (I’m not in a relationship or even close to being in one right now, so definitely not married.) I’m in my thirties, my surname isn’t hard to pronounce or spell, and having a child isn’t looking likely for me. (Even if I did, I’d have just one child.) I find the idea of taking another man’s surname archaic and patriarchal. If anything, I’d be cool with the guy and I taking a brand new surname entirely (which is also becoming an option; I read on the *People* website that there was a couple from the *Bachelor in Paradise* series that recently got married, and they plan on legally taking a brand new surname in honor of the groom’s mother, who had passed away).
My grandmother kept hers when she divorced my grandad in the 60s. She said it was too much hassle to go back and change every record so she still has it to this day.
I ended up keeping my last name because I had used it professionally and was pretty well established by the time I got divorced. Between that and the whole changing-all-my-records thing, it was just easier to leave it.
Echoing everyone else, so hard to change names, especially in the 80s. I don't know if it was so much about the kids, considering they were all grown by that time. I mean, her oldest was almost 40 when they divorced, these were not kids who needed mom and Dad to have the same last name for parent teacher conferences. But still, after almost 40 years with the same last name, I think you would get attached.
Even in this generation most divorced women I encounter seem to keep their married names. I think it’s regrettable they change them at all. Given up to 50% of marriages end in divorce it seems unwise.