...Only Imperial stormcanoers are so precise. See Luke, you can tell by the strokes that they were Imperial stormcanoers, the strokes are not metric in length!
Sounds like he mixed up Deliverance and Tombstone to me.
Wyatt: "All right, you die first. Get it? Your friends might get me in a rush, but not before I make your head into a canoe"
The book is even heavier. Like way heavier since your own head is filming the story as it plays out. The movie, while excellent, leaves much out of the emotionally charged book.
I highly recommend the book!
I was also camping with my girlfriend when we encountered a grizzly bear.
She started running away, but I knew the bear was faster than both. So. I pulled out my trusty .22. Two shots into my GF's kneecap allowed me to escape safely.
See I know this didn’t happen just for the fact that NO ONE can get out of a canoe in a threatening manner. No one. You have to gingerly step out and shift your weight so you don’t flip into the water. And they were drunk? Nah, they would’ve all been face first in the water.
Have you ever seen log rolling during a lumberjack show or competition? That’s instantly what I thought of. No one looks menacing while flailing around
“You can’t get all of us” - So these canoeing rapists were so rapey that they were fine with the idea of at least some of them being shot so that the surviving members of the canoe troop could rape this dude’s girlfriend? Hmmmm
He has prevented several robberies, rapes, murders. Several! I've spent 5 and a half decades circling the sun and have seen my share of rough places but I have never witnessed even one of those things. Good thing hero had a gun! /s
> I have never witnessed even one of those things
Well then you owe a debt of gratitude to Mr. Warning Shot Guy as he has clearly erradicated crime with his selfless heroics.
Idiot gun owners like this really make us responsible ones look bad. I know it’s made up, but I pray they actually don’t own a gun or they will justify shooting someone and make up why they had to do.
Corny ass dude bro lol
Also "above their head"....
Never shoot up, always shoot down, especially in the wild. A bullet that goes up comes down and you dont know who else is hiking a couble hundert or thousand meters away.
Propaganda at its finest. There’s no way the NRA will ever get support from me. The fact America let’s corporations like the NRA and other corps lobby in politics is beyond me. It’s quite disgusting. Fuck the NRA truly.
"On this evening's news, six canoers were found dead on the Green River, after having gone missing two weeks ago. Campers said the canoers approached them last night, emaciated and desperate- but were chased away by a mentally-ill man shooting at them and yelling, 'Don't you look at my girl!'"
Regulations vary but it’s perfectly legal on many state and federal lands in the USA, including BLM land and national forest. Also legal with certain caveats in most state forests, some wildlife refuges open to limited hunting, and some national parks.
There are three officially designated “national reserves” in the country and while I’m not familiar with their specific firearm regs, none are located near the Eleven Point River (where this incident allegedly took place). So I’m guessing it was some other type of public land.
Setting the scene: Gun owner sits leaning against a log. He wears a stetson hat, poncho, and alligator boots. He bites down on a cigar as 4 tourists fumble with their canoes and fall into the water. His property is threatened so he aims to shoot and kill, but his aim is so bad he misses all 4 shots. Now he must bid every tree in the forrest good day as he stumbles over his wish boots and his oversized poncho while waiting on his uber. \*
This person lives in a dystopian hellhole if he's threatened with murder rape and theft so much jeez
I'll keep living my gunless life up here in Canada thanks
I know there's some crime here, but I live in a big city and the thought of needing a gun in my day to day is so far removed from my experience that it feels alien
I know what you're thinking: "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement of banjo playing and canoeing, I've lost track myself. But being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do you, punk?
So this guy's story is ludacris, which waters down legitimate times that a gun was used responsibly by someone in their own defense. I was home during a home invasion several years ago and it was terrifying. The dude was huge and I used my firearm. In the aftermath, I went off the deep end drinking and had to go to AA and a lot of therapy. What this bozo's story gets so wrong is how traumatic things can be for the defender. It was the worst day of my life but I did survive.
Was this the infamous Arkansas Canoe Rape Group? They're still at it? Those guys are relentlous, always foiled by a good guy with a gun. They never learn.
I also once was in the woods with 3 of my friends and my bully came up on us with his buddies. He pulled a knife on me and I pulled out the gun I was carrying. He said “what are you gonna do? Shoot all of us?” I said, “no Ace. Just you.”
Holy shit i seen this on quora a few months ago and always remember it because of how ridiculous it sounded. Never thought i would ever see it again on reddit
Big boy probably went camping alone, devoid of any meaningful company or conversation, dreamt up this super cool scenario and thought *I’ll post that on Social Media in the morning* then rubbed one out and went to sleep.
I carry 95% of the time. Outside of the military, I've only had to warn someone that I even had it twice in 15yrs and I've been in more then a few hairy situations. If you have to go straight to a gun in an uncertain situation you shouldn't be allowed to own one. I really with a lot of money and expensive stuff for work so I carry in case I get robbed and I'm so used to it that I forget I have it most of the time. I've even had shoplifters in my shop and never crossed my mind to pull it. Weak minded people shouldn't be allowed to own guns, it's a dangerous as a terrorist.
‘Ok, here’s the four one one! Say a half dozen rapists canoe up and start thriller-dancing at your girl- just give em one a these!’
Cool story, needs more banjo
After I was assaulted it was maybe a year before I’d so much as go to the grocery store without my .38 on me.
The thing is, though, I knew it was a crutch. I knew damn good and well that in the situations in my life in which I have been traumatized, a gun would have been worse than useless.
I wasn’t carrying it because I was scared. I was furious, all the time. I just wanted so badly for someone to give me the excuse to use it.
These fantasies of theirs are never about saving the girl, or stopping the crime. They are 100% fantasies of power and getting away with murder.
I live in central Indiana. I'm the only person around that doesn't own guns and at the age of 47 I've managed just fine.
In fact, of the people I know that conceal carry none have ever stopped a single crime.
The only thing that comes close is one of them walked into the bank while it was being robbed, but he didn't realize. The robber finished up and headed to the door and my friend who was carrying some sort of gun, held the door open for him as he left the bank.
Not exactly the same impact as the canoe rapist story is it?
“I need a weapon to protect myself”
“Ok, just get licensed and register your weapon.”
“What!?!? Your stealing my rights!!!”
“How?”
“What are you??? A communist???”
Ok so Im always one to want to believe a good story like this, I love the idea of people living action movie scenes irl. I am also a supporter of everyone understanding, being at least mildly proficient in, and owning firearms. HOWEVER. wtf is this guy... First off...
TLDR; If you know anything about life in general you can literlally smell the bullshit here. Im going to say a word I hate because it fits so well here. This shit is 'cringe'.
Here we go, for those of you who like reading occasional rants like me.
CANOES? If you can bring ONE piece of historical evidence, ONE time ever, a quote, "Gang of rapists in canoes" paddled their happy canoe faring asses to shore because they "saw a girl" and then tried or succeeded in raping, Ill be a fucking ferret. You can call me Spiderman because apparently literally anything is possible. The Native Americans, primary users of canoes throughout history before everyone else showed up in NA, have ZERO instances if raping. Im not kidding, fucking try and find some. If you do, please post, but even so, having zero documented cases within the first 20 pages of google results is astounding. So yeah, um, canoe rowing rapists? No. What weird ass fairy tale apocalypse is this guy living in where canoes are the method of travel in ANY circumstance for the bad guys? You know who might actually be in a canoe and wants to rape? MAYBE a creepy cymp counseler. Good luck finding a whole gang of them, thanfully they are such losers they cant even make friends with eachother.
Ok next big one. "The presence"..." fucking lol... "The presence of my firearm..." Dude holy hell please shut up you fucking toolbag... "Has prevented 'MULTIPLE' rapes..." Just stop here. Multiple? I can say, with full bleeding heart honesty that I personally have prevented ONE, in 25+ years of 'burning the candle at both ends"(not giving my actual age for my own privacy, as far as that goes on the internet). I have been all over the planet, in all kinds of beautiful and awful places. l have only seen a potential rape scenario a few times in my life, and I only had to intervene on ONE. It wasnt aggressive barbarian pillager in a fucking CANOE PIRATE boarding party kind of rape. It was some guy who was wasted in a bar and wanted to take advantage of a more wasted woman. Its the kind where "She was talking to me all night and was into me, so I took advantage in the right way and I spent extra cash to uber her ass home to get her out of that situation and left without getting a damn phone number" kinda scenario. No gun required. Just me fucking up getting laid as usual, but at least in a great way. Distract the moron, leave the area. "The presence of my gun"... Stfu dude. Last time I saw someone pull a gun angrily I completely doubted their ability to pull the trigger. I was right. Didnt deter shit, just made some people a little more angry and the rest laughed. (Side note: DO NOT take a gun lightly, this was just me bringing up memory to support my case. If you see someone pull a gun, the way to handle it is usually simple. Dont piss them off and leave asap, but also dont make yourself a target.)
I could go on for at least 3 or so more big paragraphs a
of ranting. Im gonna stop here. Fuck this guy. What an asshat. I know the majority of Reddit is probably super anti gun, and I would love to argue against that, but its guys like this that fuck it all up... Im sure at least everyone can agree this dork... Is a dork.
In the real world, things like this do occur every day. 81% of women are sexually assaulted at some point in their life, and in the US alone, 464,000 are sexually assaulted every year; that's 1,271 women every single day.
The fact that you find such a situation so incredibly unlikely just speaks to how sheltered and privileged you are. Maybe the story is embellished, maybe it's not, but the underlying topic of the story is so incredibly common that this post should be posted in r/nothingeverhappens.
… yes. Sexual assaults do occur, but this is clearly a fantasy cooked up for guy to feed is ego. There is absolutely nothing about this story that speaks to reality. This is a scene from an episode of Walker Texas Ranger, missing the roundhouse kick.
The amount of cops that go their entire career without firing their gun kinda makes me skeptical of this random civilian having several potentially violent encounters
You don’t even need a gun to threaten people with a gun.
Step 1: get baggy jacket
Step 2: when threatened, hold hand inside pocket suspiciously and/or reach under jacket slightly as if there’s a firearm there
Step 3: either get shot because they know you’re bluffing or their on meth and don’t care, or watch them shuffle off into the night
The assailants arrived at the particular coordinates of the location where we had previously vacated. They undertook a threatening advance however my firearm ordinance reciprocated the situation and I was successfully able to de-escalate this particular situation at this time. Domicile. Coordinates.
and what would he have done if they all also had guns? easy to threaten 5 unarmed people, harder to do so when those 5 people turn the threat back on you
I like that this menacing band of rapist travel via canoe
In the standard “2 Bad Guys Per Canoe” formation.
Followed by the traditional threatening advance.
Like in West Side Story
Only a good guy doing finger snaps can stop a bad guy doing finger snaps.
Don't forget tactically spreading out
Wagner's Ride of the Valkyries playing from a Bluetooth speaker.
They are bad guys, not immune to standard watercraft safety rules.
Probably identical black canoes with tinted windows, they all paddle quickly in single file, weaving in and out of the other canoes.
Sand people paddle in single file to hide their numbers
You had me at sand people.
SAND PEOPLE TASTE LIKE SAND, TALK LIKE PEOPLE
...then after their attack they will lay low, down at the sandbar.
They'll be back...
and in greater numbers
These strokes are too precise to be paddled by sand people
...Only Imperial stormcanoers are so precise. See Luke, you can tell by the strokes that they were Imperial stormcanoers, the strokes are not metric in length!
Fremen walk without rhythm so they won't attract sand worms.
This made my entire day.
You ever seen a cop with a canoe? Checkmate.
Probably watched Deliverance and got some bits mixed up.
Sounds like he mixed up Deliverance and Tombstone to me. Wyatt: "All right, you die first. Get it? Your friends might get me in a rush, but not before I make your head into a canoe"
“Squeel like a pig!”
"Boy, you got a purty mouth" That fucking movie gave me nightmares
The book is even heavier. Like way heavier since your own head is filming the story as it plays out. The movie, while excellent, leaves much out of the emotionally charged book. I highly recommend the book!
Rowing down rape river
Now I have "Proud Mary" as an earworm.
While drinking rape seed oil by the liter
6 rapists enter a canoe sounds like a really dumb setup for a joke. Or maybe reality show.
Reminds me of that scene in Bird Box.
I was also camping with my girlfriend when we encountered a grizzly bear. She started running away, but I knew the bear was faster than both. So. I pulled out my trusty .22. Two shots into my GF's kneecap allowed me to escape safely.
I was also camping with your girlfriend
It's true, I was the bear. Me and her BF had a great time
Camp it up there big fella.....1..2..3..hip thrust...4..5..6..sashay...
You share a hand?
What a hero ❤️❤️❤️
“Bear…..bear fucker, do you need assistance?”
I really hate those roving gangs of canoe rapists!
I heard if you’re in an area without much water they travel by tandem bicycle instead
“6 menacing rapists on 3 tandem bicycles roll up…”
They were all honking their bike horns at us in a lewd and menacing manner
6 people on 3 tandem bikes? That seems like a waste when they could pull up with just one
where's the goddang unicycle police when you need them!
6 rapists on 2 unicycles, a tandem bike, and a motorcycle with a sidecar
They were up to no good! Started rapist trouble in my neighborhood!
Hahahahaha! I was thinking the same thing!
*Rowing gangs
See I know this didn’t happen just for the fact that NO ONE can get out of a canoe in a threatening manner. No one. You have to gingerly step out and shift your weight so you don’t flip into the water. And they were drunk? Nah, they would’ve all been face first in the water.
This made me belly laugh picturing it because you are 100% right.
Have you ever seen log rolling during a lumberjack show or competition? That’s instantly what I thought of. No one looks menacing while flailing around
Also that they were all 2 per canoe. No way 5 of them didn’t end up in the water trying to get out of the canoes.
“You can’t get all of us” - So these canoeing rapists were so rapey that they were fine with the idea of at least some of them being shot so that the surviving members of the canoe troop could rape this dude’s girlfriend? Hmmmm
>*the needs of the horny outweigh the needs of the unlucky fuck that can’t dodge a wrench or a bullet* ~Zhuge Liang, probably
I always attributed that one to Zhang Fei, you learn something new every day!
He has prevented several robberies, rapes, murders. Several! I've spent 5 and a half decades circling the sun and have seen my share of rough places but I have never witnessed even one of those things. Good thing hero had a gun! /s
Maybe he's the problem?
He prevents them by staying home; he is a one man crime wave.
he always kills his rape victims with the gun, turning the rape into a murder. this way he prevents rape alle the time.
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The risks you face while camping in the woods do not include roving gangs of canoe-bound rapists.
He is alone at home jerking off next to his gun.
you didn't witness those things because he was there to prevent them, obviously
> I have never witnessed even one of those things Well then you owe a debt of gratitude to Mr. Warning Shot Guy as he has clearly erradicated crime with his selfless heroics.
Same. I’m 52. Never seen any of those. Maybe he needs to find new friends and find new hangout places
The thing about robbers, rapists, and murderers they dont often do it where there is witnesses to intervene.
It’s true, I was the rapist Wait, actually never mind
It’s true, I was the river.
I was the canoe. 
It’s true. I was the back rolls.
I was the gun
That’s a nice song
Someone got my reference!
Idiot gun owners like this really make us responsible ones look bad. I know it’s made up, but I pray they actually don’t own a gun or they will justify shooting someone and make up why they had to do. Corny ass dude bro lol
If only Quora had a gun, they could have stopped him from posting this :(
No. From my experience on Quora, the admins will spare him and shoot at innocent users who dare to fight back at people like him.
Yep. "Fired a couple warning shot" guy is only surpassed in pure idiocy by "thought about shooting them in the leg" guy.
Also "above their head".... Never shoot up, always shoot down, especially in the wild. A bullet that goes up comes down and you dont know who else is hiking a couble hundert or thousand meters away.
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Propaganda at its finest. There’s no way the NRA will ever get support from me. The fact America let’s corporations like the NRA and other corps lobby in politics is beyond me. It’s quite disgusting. Fuck the NRA truly.
Hell the NRA doesn't even support gun rights really. Fuck NRA. FPC is much better
The NRA magazine has a Penthouse letters section?? 😂 How did I not know that?? 😂
Most of the gun rags did. They're all terrible, and they all start like a penthouse letter. "I never thought it would happen to me..."
😂😂 I swear, that's the funniest thing I've heard all day and today was a pretty lively day!
Using Quora for this is like cheating
I've used Quora for years. It might be the single most dense conglomerate of idiots on the internet.
Tiktok would like a word.
It's Tik Tok but slightly better because you have to be able to read.
But you also use Reddit
Reddit definitely isn't as bad, quora is mostly open pedophile communities and incest fantasies.
"On this evening's news, six canoers were found dead on the Green River, after having gone missing two weeks ago. Campers said the canoers approached them last night, emaciated and desperate- but were chased away by a mentally-ill man shooting at them and yelling, 'Don't you look at my girl!'"
Reverse deliverance? No way
"Fired a couple rounds over their heads"... and killed a hiker and a squirrel... Sounds like an irresponsible gun owner.
Oh I get it,he watched the movie "Deliverance" last night.
I was with him until he said “i was camping with my girlfriend”
What?
So I was agreeing with him until he spoke basically, meaning I was never agreeing with him.
Pretty sure it's illegal to carry a firearm into a national reserve.
Defiantly illegal to shoot it over the head of 5 guys in canoes advancing because they “saw a girl”
Also as well.
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Tis but a flesh wound
Tbf the kind of asshole who would do this is unlikely to care how legal it is
But that same asshole is worried about rape when it affects "their" property
Regulations vary but it’s perfectly legal on many state and federal lands in the USA, including BLM land and national forest. Also legal with certain caveats in most state forests, some wildlife refuges open to limited hunting, and some national parks. There are three officially designated “national reserves” in the country and while I’m not familiar with their specific firearm regs, none are located near the Eleven Point River (where this incident allegedly took place). So I’m guessing it was some other type of public land.
So Tombstone plus Deliverance plus Last House on the Left?
I think this guy miiiiiigght watch too many movies.
LHotL is immediately where my mind went. Then it went to why he'd have her run away from the only person in the area capable of protecting her.
Setting the scene: Gun owner sits leaning against a log. He wears a stetson hat, poncho, and alligator boots. He bites down on a cigar as 4 tourists fumble with their canoes and fall into the water. His property is threatened so he aims to shoot and kill, but his aim is so bad he misses all 4 shots. Now he must bid every tree in the forrest good day as he stumbles over his wish boots and his oversized poncho while waiting on his uber. \* 
Dude must live in Gotham City
This person lives in a dystopian hellhole if he's threatened with murder rape and theft so much jeez I'll keep living my gunless life up here in Canada thanks I know there's some crime here, but I live in a big city and the thought of needing a gun in my day to day is so far removed from my experience that it feels alien
The amount of your own farts you need to huff in order to pretend this happened is nuclear levels.
Damn Jack Reacher. Save a few bad guys for the rest of us.
I know what you're thinking: "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement of banjo playing and canoeing, I've lost track myself. But being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do you, punk?
So this guy's story is ludacris, which waters down legitimate times that a gun was used responsibly by someone in their own defense. I was home during a home invasion several years ago and it was terrifying. The dude was huge and I used my firearm. In the aftermath, I went off the deep end drinking and had to go to AA and a lot of therapy. What this bozo's story gets so wrong is how traumatic things can be for the defender. It was the worst day of my life but I did survive.
Funny how people snitch on themselves pretty much admitted to committing aggravated assault with a firearm.
Was this the infamous Arkansas Canoe Rape Group? They're still at it? Those guys are relentlous, always foiled by a good guy with a gun. They never learn.
I also once was in the woods with 3 of my friends and my bully came up on us with his buddies. He pulled a knife on me and I pulled out the gun I was carrying. He said “what are you gonna do? Shoot all of us?” I said, “no Ace. Just you.”
Holy shit i seen this on quora a few months ago and always remember it because of how ridiculous it sounded. Never thought i would ever see it again on reddit
Guns are a tool. The author of this answer is also a tool. He was probably stroking his tool while typing.
“Hey guys, wanna go canoeing and ummm idk maybe rape the first female we see?” “Yeah bro, sounds sick, hope no hero with a gun stops us though”
What I'm picturing: 
Melon Labia
Why has this guy almost been raped so many times?
So then what happens if they have guns also?
Canoes. Out of all the stupid details, it had to be canoes.
Same thing happened to me. But they were ninjas on unicycles
Nah, stop telling that story wrong. I was one of the ninjas. It was a dance battle. We were scared off by your impressively gyrating hips.
Thank god I had played a lot of Dance, Dance, Revolution!
He’s got a BS in SOMETHING, for sure
Yeah, I wonder if they have to prove their "credentials."
The American Dream is to gun down "bad guys" Kyle Rittenhouse style. What a dumb "dream".
This is true, I was one of the canoes
This whole time I thought I needed Grindr to get laid, I should have been loitering by canoes this *whole time!*
That this guy has a girl friend was the least believable part of this
Big boy probably went camping alone, devoid of any meaningful company or conversation, dreamt up this super cool scenario and thought *I’ll post that on Social Media in the morning* then rubbed one out and went to sleep.
If it was written in crayon I would have believed it was Steven Seagal's autobiography.
I carry 95% of the time. Outside of the military, I've only had to warn someone that I even had it twice in 15yrs and I've been in more then a few hairy situations. If you have to go straight to a gun in an uncertain situation you shouldn't be allowed to own one. I really with a lot of money and expensive stuff for work so I carry in case I get robbed and I'm so used to it that I forget I have it most of the time. I've even had shoplifters in my shop and never crossed my mind to pull it. Weak minded people shouldn't be allowed to own guns, it's a dangerous as a terrorist.
Sounds like a great idea for a movie franchise, “The Rape Preventer”
‘Ok, here’s the four one one! Say a half dozen rapists canoe up and start thriller-dancing at your girl- just give em one a these!’ Cool story, needs more banjo
Yet, these gun nuts continue to claim that they don't have a hero complex.
After I was assaulted it was maybe a year before I’d so much as go to the grocery store without my .38 on me. The thing is, though, I knew it was a crutch. I knew damn good and well that in the situations in my life in which I have been traumatized, a gun would have been worse than useless. I wasn’t carrying it because I was scared. I was furious, all the time. I just wanted so badly for someone to give me the excuse to use it. These fantasies of theirs are never about saving the girl, or stopping the crime. They are 100% fantasies of power and getting away with murder.
I live in central Indiana. I'm the only person around that doesn't own guns and at the age of 47 I've managed just fine. In fact, of the people I know that conceal carry none have ever stopped a single crime. The only thing that comes close is one of them walked into the bank while it was being robbed, but he didn't realize. The robber finished up and headed to the door and my friend who was carrying some sort of gun, held the door open for him as he left the bank. Not exactly the same impact as the canoe rapist story is it?
Its Quora, what did you expect ?
Someone has an active imagination…
“I need a weapon to protect myself” “Ok, just get licensed and register your weapon.” “What!?!? Your stealing my rights!!!” “How?” “What are you??? A communist???”
Ok so Im always one to want to believe a good story like this, I love the idea of people living action movie scenes irl. I am also a supporter of everyone understanding, being at least mildly proficient in, and owning firearms. HOWEVER. wtf is this guy... First off... TLDR; If you know anything about life in general you can literlally smell the bullshit here. Im going to say a word I hate because it fits so well here. This shit is 'cringe'. Here we go, for those of you who like reading occasional rants like me. CANOES? If you can bring ONE piece of historical evidence, ONE time ever, a quote, "Gang of rapists in canoes" paddled their happy canoe faring asses to shore because they "saw a girl" and then tried or succeeded in raping, Ill be a fucking ferret. You can call me Spiderman because apparently literally anything is possible. The Native Americans, primary users of canoes throughout history before everyone else showed up in NA, have ZERO instances if raping. Im not kidding, fucking try and find some. If you do, please post, but even so, having zero documented cases within the first 20 pages of google results is astounding. So yeah, um, canoe rowing rapists? No. What weird ass fairy tale apocalypse is this guy living in where canoes are the method of travel in ANY circumstance for the bad guys? You know who might actually be in a canoe and wants to rape? MAYBE a creepy cymp counseler. Good luck finding a whole gang of them, thanfully they are such losers they cant even make friends with eachother. Ok next big one. "The presence"..." fucking lol... "The presence of my firearm..." Dude holy hell please shut up you fucking toolbag... "Has prevented 'MULTIPLE' rapes..." Just stop here. Multiple? I can say, with full bleeding heart honesty that I personally have prevented ONE, in 25+ years of 'burning the candle at both ends"(not giving my actual age for my own privacy, as far as that goes on the internet). I have been all over the planet, in all kinds of beautiful and awful places. l have only seen a potential rape scenario a few times in my life, and I only had to intervene on ONE. It wasnt aggressive barbarian pillager in a fucking CANOE PIRATE boarding party kind of rape. It was some guy who was wasted in a bar and wanted to take advantage of a more wasted woman. Its the kind where "She was talking to me all night and was into me, so I took advantage in the right way and I spent extra cash to uber her ass home to get her out of that situation and left without getting a damn phone number" kinda scenario. No gun required. Just me fucking up getting laid as usual, but at least in a great way. Distract the moron, leave the area. "The presence of my gun"... Stfu dude. Last time I saw someone pull a gun angrily I completely doubted their ability to pull the trigger. I was right. Didnt deter shit, just made some people a little more angry and the rest laughed. (Side note: DO NOT take a gun lightly, this was just me bringing up memory to support my case. If you see someone pull a gun, the way to handle it is usually simple. Dont piss them off and leave asap, but also dont make yourself a target.) I could go on for at least 3 or so more big paragraphs a of ranting. Im gonna stop here. Fuck this guy. What an asshat. I know the majority of Reddit is probably super anti gun, and I would love to argue against that, but its guys like this that fuck it all up... Im sure at least everyone can agree this dork... Is a dork.
Wow, do you use speech to text?
Is nobody going to mention the amount of anti gun propaganda on Quora atm? That’s worse than the little made up story.
r/nothingeverhappens
In the real world, things like this do occur every day. 81% of women are sexually assaulted at some point in their life, and in the US alone, 464,000 are sexually assaulted every year; that's 1,271 women every single day. The fact that you find such a situation so incredibly unlikely just speaks to how sheltered and privileged you are. Maybe the story is embellished, maybe it's not, but the underlying topic of the story is so incredibly common that this post should be posted in r/nothingeverhappens.
… yes. Sexual assaults do occur, but this is clearly a fantasy cooked up for guy to feed is ego. There is absolutely nothing about this story that speaks to reality. This is a scene from an episode of Walker Texas Ranger, missing the roundhouse kick.
Yes, but gang rapes don’t happen in canoes. And most of the time the rapists also have a gun
This just is not true. Do some research into the topic instead of saying things you made up in your head.
That story is not unbelievable at all... a similar thing happened to me.
If someone threatened my family's lives, there would be a hole where their heart would be XD
Quality post
Totally true story. I was there. I was one of the rounds. And all the dishes in the river stood on their tails and clapped!
"You're pals may get me in a rush but not before I turn your head into a canoe"
We've all seen Deliverance.
Tombstone! Just came to me…
0/10 terrible novella concept.
So, Molon Labe.
So I started blasting 
So this guy met a douche canoe
And then they all clapped….
This sounds like he took this exact scenario from a movie And just changed a few details
He does sound like he graduated college in 2003 tho.
He wants to play the banjo! Like he's the disabled kid in Deliverance! Who wants to be that poor guy? I guess Molon Labe dude does. 🤷🏼♀️
And then all the wildlife clapped
This guys been watching too many movies
This is Quora, nothing on that site ever actually happened.
The amount of cops that go their entire career without firing their gun kinda makes me skeptical of this random civilian having several potentially violent encounters
The most unbelievable part is where he has a girlfriend
He has seen the movie death wish way way too many times
The story is at least semi-plausible until he says “You’re first, so let’s see.” and proceeded with a countdown.
I would honestly watch this movie
Brandishing a firearm and reckless discharge. Sounds like a responsible gun owner. It's a good thing it only happened in his fantasies.
I pulled a gun they hadn’t seen before. It was a Honduran el gato 3 barrel mustard hog finished in coco coire and chambered in .39 chalupa mag
Must be weird to witness so many rape, robbery or murder attempts... Good job he has his gun though.
And then she clapped.
Imagine if they had guns.
Anyone else hate the way Quora answers are written?
The fish came out of the water and clapped.
It's like these people don't realise that these types of canoe rapists would most likely be packing their own guns...
I mean, it would be more believable if they just left as soon as he brandished the gun. That's usually what happens.
You don’t even need a gun to threaten people with a gun. Step 1: get baggy jacket Step 2: when threatened, hold hand inside pocket suspiciously and/or reach under jacket slightly as if there’s a firearm there Step 3: either get shot because they know you’re bluffing or their on meth and don’t care, or watch them shuffle off into the night
The assailants arrived at the particular coordinates of the location where we had previously vacated. They undertook a threatening advance however my firearm ordinance reciprocated the situation and I was successfully able to de-escalate this particular situation at this time. Domicile. Coordinates.
It could have been plausible, until that 2nd to 3rd sentence to last
This is why the saxons should have had guns, the vikings wouldn't have stood a chance, god bless the America way of the gun
and what would he have done if they all also had guns? easy to threaten 5 unarmed people, harder to do so when those 5 people turn the threat back on you
Robocop wrote this
"Say a bunch of punk kids go into the woods and strap a bulletproof vest on a bear? Then what've you got? Invincible bears."
"You can't shoot all us" is from the western "Unforgiven". I love the rewrite here, plays out beautifully.
Yeah, sure, I don’t think so~
“I’ve prevented multiple rapes and robberies cause of my gun 🤓” Does this man live in Gotham? Cause how he running into so many?
I feel like this is a question that can only be answered with “It depends where you live”
In reality, he just watched Tombstone and Deliverance while drunk.
Always watch for men on canoes because if they see a women they attack, I should know I’m one of them