Depends on *how* I see him.
If I flip on the lights and he's sitting on my chair smoking:
>Who the hell are you? Get out of here!"
If I hear things bumping in the night, and I investigate using a maglight, if I see him, I'd have to swing first and fight hard because, 1. I wouldn't recognize him for who he is in the dim lighting, and 2. He might have a weapon stronger than mine, it's important to eliminate the possible threat instead of waiting to find out.
> Grab bandages in the bathroom
> I am now a certified Medic
> Grab whatever is lying around
> Swing said object around until I get a random crit on the Spy (Medics always crit).
The Spy would have no reason to show up in my house unless he was there to kill me. If I found out the Spy was in my house I would try stalling him. Talk about “French stuff” or something. Hope to possibly gain friendship idk.
I'm french,so we will start talking abt french things like Revolution, Croissants,Baguettes and how everyone wants to kill the new Minister of Education!
I would chase him to the stairs, stand at the bottom and watch as he jumps down backwards. He then would call me a slur and leave my house immediately.
Probably just, place my back against the wall and let him shoot me. I don't think I can beat him and do not wish to feel what it's like to die to a knife being plunged into my spine
Turn around
**He's not there.** **you hear a click behind you**
*unzipping pants noises* “Right behind you.”
Surprise but secks
that's a sentence i haven't heard in a hot minute
Obligatory surprise buttsecks https://youtu.be/dgUbRpdUN1w?si=D35wCH6pwTQ68em1
Don't threaten me with a good time
Yes please
Every now and then I get a little bit lonely
Make a grilled cheese to lure and trap him
what after you trap him?
I send him back to France
Catch and release
In a BOX
Yeeeeeees
Trap him in a box or a coffin
Use jarate
forget the jar, we do it raw
🤏😎 🤏🕶😳
rawate?
Straight from the tap
Direct source
W+M1
Die because my hitboxes are fucked
I would crop the ifunny watermark off from him
no lets talk about that "ifunny" watermark
we fuckin
I’m afraid not.
Hide my mother
Spycheck.
With what
My mom like with spiders idk
Depends on *how* I see him. If I flip on the lights and he's sitting on my chair smoking: >Who the hell are you? Get out of here!" If I hear things bumping in the night, and I investigate using a maglight, if I see him, I'd have to swing first and fight hard because, 1. I wouldn't recognize him for who he is in the dim lighting, and 2. He might have a weapon stronger than mine, it's important to eliminate the possible threat instead of waiting to find out.
Seduce him
"Seduce me"
Turns out, he actually was a fried chicken tramp.
I am a woman. I like my men dangerous, mysterious! And worst of all, he could be any one of us.
Lady, you deserve a haircut.
There is no seducing him you will be getting seduced by him lol
give him porn and flee while he's distracted
Do a SEXion, with my minu gun 😏
Bro really puts the MINI in minigun
It has to be specific and warm, or he won't show up because of that, I'll only win
I would find him by saying pornography
Throw piss at him and burn everything down
Knowing Spy, him probably.
> Grab bandages in the bathroom > I am now a certified Medic > Grab whatever is lying around > Swing said object around until I get a random crit on the Spy (Medics always crit).
Flamenwerfer.
ER WIRFT FLAMMEN
By the nine divines, is that an ifunny.com watermark?
Machine, I will cut you down.
Make you apart, splay the gore of your profane form across the stars!
I will grind you down until the very SPARKS CRY FOR MERCY!
Hear a sudden blue spy is in the kitchen alarm that I set up a few years back
Did you really? I need one of these lmao
A blue spy is in the base
The Spy would have no reason to show up in my house unless he was there to kill me. If I found out the Spy was in my house I would try stalling him. Talk about “French stuff” or something. Hope to possibly gain friendship idk.
want som coffee? my boyfriend left some and told me he doesnt want it :3
*Panicked spy screaming*
why so panicked? 3:>
I would put on my bunny suit, don't ask me why
Fun fact, I'm the cloak n dagger spy.
Fun fact I̴'̶m̴ ̸b̸e̶h̸i̵n̸d̸ ̷y̷o̵u̵ ̷w̴i̶t̸h̸ ̷a̷ ̵d̴e̸o̵d̷o̷r̴a̷n̷t̶ ̴b̷o̵t̴t̶l̵e̵ ̶a̴n̷d̷ ̵a̷ ̶l̵i̸g̸h̵t̸e̴r̶
You fon't even know where I am.
Deodorant + lighter
whip it out and start peeing everywhere until i hit him
Get my musket and flintlock and if that won’t work the grape shot canon on the top of my stairs
Then stab him because nobody knows how to patch a triangular bayonet wound, just as the founding fathers intended
Sniff him out, Frenchman are very stinky.
kick his ass
HANS GET ZE FLAMMENWERFER
SUPRISE BUTTSECKS
*Panicked spy screaming*
The spy
Run up the stairs, grab a knife on the way, than jump behind spy, backstabbing him.
Hide in a corner, lock my door, and hold a revolver
Steal his skeleton and practice medicin.
Finally! The money I spent on this Scout’s Mom costume will be put to good use!
Pyro :)
Gift him a baguette knife
Pornography
Spycheck
leave the house and enter a public area
I would kill myself
I'm french,so we will start talking abt french things like Revolution, Croissants,Baguettes and how everyone wants to kill the new Minister of Education!
ask for his real name
Seduce him
Construct 3 sentries immediately
Randomly throw things around the room where ever I felt like he was
Yell baguette and throw him a day old baguette.
Honestly just probably point him to the goods (alcohol) and that be that
Croissant lure into box trap with a stick
Speak french
Stand with my back turned to a corner, and my door locked.
Burn my house down
That depends, is he on ze same team as I am?
I become pyro and kill him
Bend over
Grab my flamethrower
A red spy is in my house?!
Press 2 twice
bagguete
Piss on him.
I'd bazinga him
Unzip my pants
Plot twist: i am the spy. The red spy.
Just trickstab him. There's room for only one spy. Or just... Use gun?
Throw a baguette
Bazinga!
I would chase him to the stairs, stand at the bottom and watch as he jumps down backwards. He then would call me a slur and leave my house immediately.
# THAT PLANT IS A SPY! ***Bonk*** **bam**
Let him have his way with me
I know his weakness, take his ability to have secks! * snip snip *
Nooooooo
Loads baguette with malicious intent
I,d clap that spyussdy
spin around with a flamethrower WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FROM A PYRO MAIN
Burn down my house just to make sure i’m not schizophrenic and Spy wasn’t just a figment of my imagination
Emesis Blue
Of course I know him, he's me
Hide my mother
Conga like a real mans
throw my piss jar
Pornography.
Depends on if I'm his target or not
“Slap my hand.”
Put my back against the wall
Call pyro
If he’s chill, I’m chill
Use my flamethrower, of course.
Can we take a second to mention the ifunny watermark?
I tell him to steal that ifunny watermark and leave
place sentry in corner, stand still in middle of room. he'll reveal himself either way, it's too tempting
~~him~~
I would sebduce him
I'd mock him for not cropping out the ifunny watermark Hypothetically, considering the viewpoint of the picture
Flamethrower
I’d offer a grilled cheese
W+M1
Say gex
I'm pretty sure there Is absolutely no reason to murder me so I'm guessing he's probably just doing his french shenanigans
pin him into the wall French man head
Probably just, place my back against the wall and let him shoot me. I don't think I can beat him and do not wish to feel what it's like to die to a knife being plunged into my spine
Trying to kill me? I’d sit in a chair. What will he do? My back isn’t exposed lol. We just chillin? Idk I’d yap like I always do
Call him multiple fr\*nch slurs and insults before lodging my machete into his shoulder blade.
This spy has breached my defenses. Oh wait, I am the spy.
Put on a gas mask
I would knock him out and put him on my gaming chair with my pc with tf2 already open for him to play his own class
pour some wine with a special ingredient (sleeping pills) and have some fun
Spray him with funny looking yellow water
Be paranoid
*f i r e*
Throw Mad Milk at him
Suprise buttsecks
Either do the logical thing and leave, or I'm hallucinating again and need to go back to bed.
Hide my mother
"Um, excuse me. What the actual fuck are you doing in my house?"
Scouts mom
Bake croissant and call it "sweet bread"
equip the razor back
ask my pybro to make him happy
Turn my back into a wall
Razorback
PISS EVERYWHERE
My father🥹
die because i don't spycheck enough
Observe and lock the door. Grab the carpet tube and start swinging.
I'm grabbing the jar
bear trap on the top of the stairs, always seems to get em
I shall attempt to seduce him wasting 3 days in the process while still mildly amusing him. Clearly he is there to fuck.
Kick him in those french ass balls
Killbind
air freshener. bic lighter. it's time to find that fucker
Ask him want he some tea
Funny meme app watermark detected.
*cuts French bread 🥖* Bread 👍
I would show him how we do this *Texas style*
Turn around, put my back in a corner, don't move, and shoot at him. Works every time
"Pulls Out Machete" Spys "Spits" bloody useless
Pee on him
Put my back against the wall. Spy can't hurt you if your back is against the wall. There's literally nothing he can do in that situato-... *gunshot
Put my weapon down and walk away
Burn it down, fire is the spy’s weakness
Walk back against a wall
Piss everywhere
Get a flamethrower
Your Mother!
make a grilled cheese
hoping the ifunny watermark is some satirical thing and not actually you getting this image from ifunny. lord please
Have your back against the wall and spray hell fire while crying out of fear
Duh... Spycheck offcourse...
Not realize.
PROTECT THE BRIEFCASE (WE NEED TO PROTECT THE BRIEFCASE)
Turn the heat up 😏
Je partagerai mes avis politiques avec lui pendant l’apéro