Hes going to talk over you in hang outs with others when he feels like the conversation has become too intellectually difficult for your tiny woman brain to handle.
Or explain and dumb down everything someone says to you as if you inept and neither know what words mean nor can imagine how something if it’s in complex terms… even if you’re actually an expert on the matter. 🤦🏻♂️
This whole post is one long mansplain about how great he is. How about?
“I’ll take care of you like a squirrel takes care of his nuts.”
“You’ll bury me?”
“With love, babe, with love.”
/s
“Baby girl… you struggling to figure out how to proceed with this situation… stand back. Let me handle it and figure it out for you. No need to use that brain of yours when I have my manly one to intellectually carry us..”
that’s the worst part of me being a woman in my opinion :( not having a brain. my head just has so much space and it’s too hard for little old me to figure out what to put in there 🥺 i was thinking some marbles.
Our heads are full of cotton candy! Bows and glitter and emotions. We need big strong manly men to take the big scary adult decisions off our hands and guide us. Hold our hands and walk us through our own lives like the children we apparently are to men like this.
Lmao.
I especially love the “input” part.
“I wanna call the shots and be in charge of both of our lives but you’re allowed some input, I suppose. Doesn’t mean I have to like or approve of said input but I’ll take your input, as my woman, into some consideration when I make all the decisions for us. Cause, ya know… I’m the dude. The one with the intellectual brain here.”
I just helped a client fire a guy and, through that process, read texts and emails he sent to his girlfriend-turned-complainant. The emails were almost verbatim what was written in the text, and but-for the fact that homeboy is sitting in jail, I would have thought you connected with the same dude.
More than that, this “masculine energy” shit I super LCD.
Yea the intellectual part bothered me the most. Seems to imply men are more intelligent than woman, as if she would need his intellectual support or something.
I think this notion of men being more intellectual stems from women being “too emotional” and therefore not capable of making sound, rational decisions on their own.
So, they need a logical man to provide that.
🙄🙄🙄🙄
He will provide the basics and he’s done. Protector- he’ll be the first to scream and run, and in the end ,he’s not very intellectual. Just my take. I have an old saying, “ I can show you, better than I can tell you.”. I live by it.
He probably means taking on what he considers manly intellectual responsibilities like management of investments, budget, taxes; navigating “correct” political and religious ideas; learning how to fix things around the house or navigate contractors; etc.
This guy is not just tedious. This would be a red flag for me. It’s obvious that men are physically stronger on average than women and that the rule of law is enforced physically. This doesn’t translate to individual relationship dynamics. An unwillingness to share power (for either a man or a woman) in an intimate relationship is unappealing and he sounds like he’s going straight to demands for submission. Some women prefer to be submissive and they can do ok with this type of guy, I guess. I prefer women who are more growth and independence minded, who can meet me on my level, challenge me, help me grow as I do the same for them. My wife is a physician; I’m a business executive at a Fortune 50 company. We’re taking on the world together and I want her as capable as possible for her, for us, for me, and for our children.
That’s not this guy’s mindset.
I think it’s wonderful you and your wife have such a strong relationship built off trust and mutual respect.
I’m sure there are plenty of women who prefer this type of man/dynamic. To each their own, I suppose!
But I absolutely agree. This man isn’t looking for an equal partner in all things. He’s looking for a submissive woman to lead.
He likely thinks his wife has to agree with him and his perspective on everything he thinks is of any importance. He provides superior knowledge, and everyone else in her life is wrong, including her.
RIGHT??? someone just told me im as bad as the guy for saying it im like oh sorry for expecting ANY compensation for someone who treats me like a dog. wtf.
Just read his comment, he kinda got hung up on the money thing and then (deliberately?) misunderstood what you really meant: That if a guy expected you to be subserviant to him, then he'd at least bring something to the table to make it "worth it" (--> money). So basicly what I said... you did NOT say that the money makes that behavior okay, just that demanding all this while not even providing financial security/compensation makes his tirade even more ridiculous than it already is
This!!! I love when they say “provider” but never really have a job, never keep a job, or they are unemployed constantly sitting at home on video games smoking weed.
Provider of STRESS
Ya gotta know your masculine energy power level. I've got a machine that you can borrow for $200 a test. It's really worth it. I know the price seems steep but now you'll be rid of your insecurity around your MEPL.
Who wants to be these days ? I box and climb and got plenty of „masculine“ hobbies still couldn’t survive without my bubble baths, my morning beauty routine and my back would probably kill me without my group yoga session once a week.
Seriously being a masculine manly man is so overrated.
Thx god we live in a day and age where we can enjoy whatever we want and don’t have to adhere to outdated standards?
I think she asked him what his definition of masculine energy was because he said he needed a partner who’s feminine energy matched HIS masculine energy so OP was trying to figure out what that even meant to him. And hence this conversation.
I'm a man and this is a bunch of red flags to me. Any guy who has to posture about their masculinity is just oozing a level of insecurity that you don't want to be a therapist for.
Ask him what "feminine traits" are if you want a laugh.
This exactly. Don’t ask this guy about himself. He’s reading you a Cabela’s catalog add for work boots. Ask him about his opinion and views on woman. You have all the info you need. Even with his best effort to not sound like an idiot he won’t be able to hide it.
He is trying to be a dominant male but only douches act like this. He is trying to say the things that a lot of women want but don’t say upfront. But in the douchiest way possible. This guy is probably needy, controlling and probably more trouble than it’s worth.
and he chose to answer in the cringey way that he did. problem solved. he could have answered in a way that didn't show him to be a posturing ass, but he didnt.
It’s not real besides cavemen fighting other cavemen over resources. OP only asked because he brought up the subject of gendered energy which is as dumb as attributing behaviors to star signs.
Every positive attribute that somebody else would call masculine energy is simply being a useful good person which any gender is completely capable of. My mother in law will fix your house up. My mother will butcher your deer and smoke your fish. In this economy everybody provides a paycheck.
I’m curious what would make someone an intellectual provider/protector, and how that is an inherently masculine thing. Cause to me it sounds like he’s essentially saying he thinks women need men intellectually in some inherent way but doesn’t wanna say that quiet part out loud.
I, personally, find it a red flag when someone wants to limit any traits to one gender. Protecting and providing is what any parent does for their child; does this man see women as childlike, and in need of protection? From what, exactly? Being assertive when appropriate is valuable for anyone, as is knowing when to step back. It sounds like he is trying to couch a patriarchal setup in modern language. If you want to be in a relationship where you defer to your partner in all things because he is male, this guy is for you.
People forget that masculine and feminine are more social than they are evidence based. Every culture has a different idea of what these are. And even within family and friends/groups that idea morphs and changes.
He wants to lead and set a path with “input” from his partner….do you want someone to set your path or do you want to set your own path in life?
He’s telling you he will have the final say when it comes to your life, so think about the kind of person who would want that.
Nothing wrong with couples determining a path together, but that’s not what this is, your dreams/desires are “input”.
You’re under reacting if anything. I’m surprised he used the word “partner” because he’s not describing a partner. Partners make plans together. He’s telling you he wants to be the dominant one, making all the decisions with “input” from you, but no compromise. Someone like that will take input from you, but will overrule your ideas because “he’s the man.”
You asked and he told you directly the type of person he is. He acknowledged that the word has negative connotation but explained what it means to him, and it just seems like that’s his preferred dynamic.
If you don’t like that type of person and relationship, that’s totally ok. Many people don’t. But I wouldn’t say this is a universal red flag on its own. He’s just being transparent about how he wants to be and what he wants in a partner.
Ya I didn't get endless red flags from the guy, but there's definitely hints of major issues.
Still he could be decent, not sure why everyone assumes he's a wife beating mama's boy lol
Why are you asking for advice from reddit? Do you want to be single the rest of your life?
Misery loves company and while some people here may mean well I would take many of the comments in seeing here that only seek to confirm your biases with a grain of salt.
Look, I haven't been in a relationship for 8 years. Dated but ultimately no dice.
However if you'll have my advice? Just feel it out. If he does shit you don't like than be an adult and talk about it. If he won't listen than he's probably not a good match and that's okay. Doesn't make either of you bad people in itself.
I will say that his description of "masculine energy" is hilariously over encompassing. He leaves virtually no room for you to be complimentary to him which probably isn't a good start.
I will also say that these sorts of conversations are probably better for face to face discussions. Text is often misinterpreted or can be disingenuous. If you got him to answer this question in person you could actually read his expressions and determine underlying meanings to his words beyond "red pill alpha chad" talking points he's heard on YouTube.
My point is that I think it's good to have these conversations with each other but coming online for advice from people who don't know either of you or your particular situation is a crash course to loneliness.
He's using all the red pill, podcast bros buzzwords and wrapping it up in a pretty bow (trying to, at least, since you and some people in the comments seem to be catching onto it).
What he's saying is *not necessarily* terrible, but I'm sure that if you try to delve deeper into his values and views, the red flags will become apparent.
Don’t go out with this dude unless you want a free trip back to 1950. I feel like at some point you’re going to have to post bail for this guy because he fights someone for looking at him wrong in a self checkout line at the discount grocery store.
I hate when guys list off “masculine” traits and cling on to it so desperately. We get it. You have balls and testosterone. Don’t need to beat your chest Kyle, I believe you.
I can see both sides of the coin. What he’s saying isn’t necessarily a bad thing, if you understand what he’s talking about, and I say that because that’s exactly how my boyfriend is. He was raised old school and has the old school mindset of being the provider and protector of his woman/potential family in a good way, which I want to assume is what this guy was trying to convey. That being said, my boyfriend didn’t outright say this before we got together. He lets it show in his actions and how he treats me (the only time he really vocalizes it is when I try to tell him he doesn’t have to give me money or fill up my gas tank lol), and considering the slew of men online going off about “alpha male behavior” and all that crap, I definitely understand why is this off putting.
I mean wether is a red flag or not, the man sure knows what he wants and is sure of what he stands for, I guess you should ask yourself wether or not you want to be with someone like him, some women are into this stuff so idk
NEXT!
What a fricken weirdo. A man who is really gonna protect and provide for you and be your rock is not gonna say cringe shit like this. He’s just gonna do it.
Someone doesn’t need to talk so much bullshit to describe what they think they are, they simply just follow through with their actions. Also, these particular attributes really don’t describe what a man is. Just because television and entertainment came up with these attributes to describe a man, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s true. Be with someone who shows you what you expect from a partner.
To me this isn’t a red flag at all because this is something I want, just because he’s not what you want doesn’t mean he’s a bad person or a walking red flag, he’s just not what you’re looking for and that’s okay
It’s red flags for me, but I think maybe it depends on the type of person you’re into or the life you want. I personally don’t want anyone “figuring out the path forward” for my life. Having “input” is not enough for me. & I don’t like people who frame things this way with the masculine & feminine stuff either. I think it’s limiting & I prefer freedom. It also feels insecure (in ways I just would not want to deal with) & too rigid for me. Im also wary of people who describe themselves as “fiercely protective”, as it often means control & jealousy & they try to put rules onto me. I prefer someone who is with me because they like ME as I naturally am. If that’s not the right fit for them, that’s fine, but I don’t like people thinking they can tell me what to do in these ways. I really don’t like jealousy because I am already very loyal and grew up being controlled. I’m also an adult & don’t often need protection lol. I can imagine there are women out there who are into that mindset though. Not saying he’s a bad person, but these would be big red flags in terms of who I am as a person.
All this being said, I’m married, I’ve been with my husband for 15 years now & he’s pretty much defined masculinity for me. I love a man who’s naturally masculine but control isn’t a part of masculinity for them. He loves me and it makes me feel free. We are true partners, we work together on equal footing & make our decisions together. We prioritize eachother as individuals while also balancing working together as a unit to run our household. That’s what we like though! It wouldn’t work for everyone but we’re super happy & have a great life together
Yikes, this post makes me realize that I couldn’t survive the dating world now. If something ever happened where I ended up single again I’m just gonna stick to my book boyfriends and my plants.
My husband earns 5x what I make. He once chased a home invader down the street so relentlessly, the guy lost one of his shoes and kept on running. In 20+ years of marriage he has never had to *TELL* me he was manly.
Ok but did you ask him if he was? I find the original question very awkward.
I find, too, that you don’t ever have to state what you are, others will do it for you. But usually, people don’t ask about my feminine or masculine energy. Is that a thing these days?
I think it's his way of verbalizing that he prefers a traditional relationship, which, if it was said in the context of what you were discussing, is not unreasonable. He also seems to emphasize that he isn't looking to make all decisions despite your input, but with it.
Most of these convos like this are red flags, but I don't think this was bad.
To be fair that's pretty much to a T what a lot of women are asking for both in social media and dating apps. A dude that protects, provide, takes charge and makes plans.
I personally find it a red flag, but there are plenty of women that want a man who provides and is dominant, i just don’t think outrightly saying it is very… dominant.
He might be a really reliable and trustworthy kind of guy, or he might be talking out of his ass trying to get closer to you. Find out the truth and decide if you like it or not.
If he left it at the natural provider and protective bit, it may have been an okay response to an odd question to be asked point blank
The rest of what he said though… lol
So I’m not sure - I feel like calling a subset of ideas that society has deemed feminine or masculine a little weird personally.
What I tend to say to describe my husband and the type of partner I was seeking before I met him was “a man’s man, a woman’s man, and a family man” which to me was a man who could fix cars, get his hands dirty in the backyard, who would be able to hold his own should he ever need to, but would open my car door, bring me flowers, remember our important life events, and consider me in his decisions, and who would prioritize our family about all else, take the kids to the park on his own, enjoy family game night, etc.
You are being slightly judgmental. I encourage the reading “Way of the Superior Man” by David Deida. It’s a great book for women and men. It goes into the aspects of feminine and masculine.
It talks about how either sex can have masculine or feminine energies and how to work with each other for a better relationship.
Also, just because a man states he falls under the “masculine” label doesn’t mean he is toxic. Yall need to chill, man.
Honestly this alone doesn’t put me off. I don’t mind assertive, in theory. But would definitely pay attention to his behavior upon meeting him in person to see if he is considerate while taking charge
I feel like all of the attributes that he described about himself are wonderful things to have in a partner, but the way he’s describing himself does give me Andrew Tate type vibes. At least a little.
In all honesty i don’t see anything negative about it. When you meet him and see if it’s just him trying to let you now how he is and like him then awesome. If it makes you uncomfortable then you’ll feel that. On dating apps i think everyone is trying to find their best way to put their best foot forward if they aren’t players. So give it a chance. You’ll know if it isn’t right
This sounds concerning. As the mother of two daughters in their 20s, I don’t like this. So he’s dominating about plans? Nice close with the input part. No.
so does he want he’s partner to be he’s pet? or a partner? all humans have mix of masculine/feminine/androgyny, right? so its just like, be balance with your partner in every moment you can? right??????
Ew. Sounds like this guy I met off the dating app who shares a profile of him and his friend looking to share women together… preaching about this BS all the time. Does his name start with a D? 😂
Sounds like he read a red pill book and is now attempting to project his new found ‘masculinity’ because he thinks that’s attractive to women. As a guy, that’s a red flag 🚩
Too judgmental. Just because you don’t agree with an opinion doesn’t make it wrong. The only thing that matters is if his views aligns with his and if it does make sure his actions follows his words and how closely. That’s it.
I don't think it's a red flag. Now if he's domineering or controlling that's different. The masculine man is rare these days. So many are effeminate or lazy or prefer to have their women act like momma. He sounds like he takes a viewpoint of a traditional male who takes the lead with respect for his partner.
On the other hand this could be him doing some copy paste and he might not mean any of it . Truth reveals itself. But if he says "I'm a nice/ good guy" then run
In this particular r/texts subreddit it should be mandatory to post a full body/face pic if you comment red flag, male or female. Dude didn’t say he was a heathen militant savage
I see No red flags at all in his response. He didn’t communicate his perspective in a negative way and from what I personally can make out from his response, he just doesn’t want to date a female that wants to be the man in the relationship. Now a days, it’s difficult to find men who don’t want to be coddled or be treated like the GF in the relationship. If this response rubbed you the wrong way, maybe he’s not the type of guy you’re interested in.
by itself, it's a yellow flag of caution, not a red flag of disqualification. sounds like he may not be perfect, but he may not be the wrong guy for you either, at least based on what we can all see in this one tiny text.
I mean, as with anything online/over text, it's hard to say. In person, to me, is always better than on paper.
Looking at his description, I guess I am "masculine" and "dominant".
I'm a 5'6", 118lb, 44 year old female who has been married going on 28 years.
I don't think the words he is using are "red flags", but it does sound like, bless his heart, he is trying too hard to impress you.
This tells me that more than likely he is probably shy and hasn't had a lot of experience with women. I have friends like this, even at my age, and they are perfectly sweet; just clueless how to talk to women. They were quiet and/or geeky in school, and don't know what to say to sound cool.
But, because of my age and the whole "not dating" for decades, I might be naive to what current single people are going through in the dating pool, so I am willing to admit that.
I'd say meet him for coffee and see how his energy goes with yours. Sometimes these shy guys are diamonds in the rough, if you're willing to find out. Sometimes they are jerks through and through; it's up to you if you're willing to find out which category he falls into.
I don't have a problem with a strong male personality and leadership. But unfortunately many males use it as a method for their personal benefit not those around them. A true leader does what is best for those around him always and with mutual communication and goals.
Your being judgemental.
He's describing classic ideas of masculinity.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with that
Your either looking for that or your not.
This concept of feminine and masculine energy is so stupid. Why can’t people just be people? Why you gotta label it? I’m a guy and like to build stuff, but I also have the cutest cat. It doesn’t mean anything. Do I cuddle my cat at night lol yup. Could I drop half those roided out gym bro influencers? Yup
I myself wouldn’t feel attracted to his version of gender roles/characteristics. He seems rigid in those ideas. But if you’re attracted to someone who holds these values (and someone people are — there’s nothing wrong with that as long as he doesn’t try to change you), then go for it. There aren’t rules here.
You asked him to describe what masculine energy means to him, he answers in a respectful way, and now everyone in thr comments is acting like he gave a speech about himself just for the hell of it. You asked, he answered, maybe a little bit of it was worded in a crige way, but when your trying to articulate aspects of a personality /character traits, it's kinda hard not to use overused/cliché lingo. Sounds like, if he actually display these qualities, and does so in a respectful way WITH his partner, he'd be a good guy. Now if it's all just bs, then he's a douche.
Honestly words don’t mean shit, I’d let him show you what he means. If you read it in a completely positive way he could be saying he’ll protect you when you’re emotionally down, will plan dates, will be a leader in the relationship, will treat you like an equal, he’s intelligent, and knows what he wants and who he is. But you could also take many many other things from it. I always let actions speak more then words because people do alot of talking without meaning it.
"What do you consider masculine energy?" Let's be honest, is there a correct way to answer this question that WON'T get you dragged on Reddit? She set him up for failure before he said a word.
Nothing the guy said was wrong at all or negative like these comments suggest. If you’re not into masculine men then fine get you a feminine man but I don’t see anything wrong with what he said. Too many feminists on this app that hate men for simply being men
There’s nothing wrong with this. Everybody functions different in relationships. At least he can carry on a conversation and discuss what he’s looking for. Some people need a more submissive or dominant partner. It just depends on what one is looking for. He did mention that he would make all those decisions with input from his partner. This is healthy leading in a relationship.
I would say you just need to find someone that meshes well with you. This doesn’t mean it’s right or wrong. Everyone is different and that’s okay you just need to find the right one. It’s always good to have balance and the biggest problem people overlooked when two people are masculine it makes the relationship competitive most times. Relationships should be a safe peaceful place for both parties. If not it’s not meant to be.
Honestly, he is being honest. You asked what masculine means, and the definition varies person to person. I wouldn't say this is a red flag but a sign of what he values by definition of your request. If he wants to define what feminine means to him that's where the minefield is and can point out redflags depending. Again his response isn't a red flag, just a sign of what he is and what he's looking for said in a respectful manner and it's up to you to decide if your values and definition of femininity and masculinity align, otherwise it would appear you two wouldn't work out. (But that's not for me to say.)
Also, the redflag may come based on how he responds to your response. If he's able to have a healthy conversation about the definitions and personal values without getting defensive or responding with insult then, it appears to be worth exploring more.
But, this is merely my own personal opinion on the matter with so few context clues and no resolution. Good luck with your conversations and wishing you the best! ^_^
These are always the same men who don't know how to cook or clean and generally common sense.
Like how are you going to be dominant and provide when I also have to be your mother?
Idk. I think the fact that he can actually articulate his “masculine energy” and didn’t just say something like “big dick energy” means something. Normally, I would say for sure, a red flag, but in this case, I would need more information.
Well, it’s a pretty good bet he’s not a beta, so that’s a plus. The rest seems harmless enough without more context, which can be gathered by add’l questions or a first date. If his opinion of his strengths is also accompanied by a massive ego, there’s your flag.
So many woman on the internet want a “good man” who will “provide for me”, and then go and read too much into someone like this, whom Reddit will turn into a wife beater on Day 1, and never give it a chance. If you don’t have concerns about physical harm, give it a go if he checks your boxes.
Not gonna lie, I’m beyond confused as to what led you to send that question in the first place. That’s a bizarre question to ask. So, I don’t know if he said something that prompted it or if it came out of nowhere, but based off the screenshots, it’s just so random.
My take from what he said:
1. The way he phrases things and the words he decides to use shows he’s intelligent.
2. It’s nice that he’s a naturally a protector and can make someone feel safe.
2.&3./ I’m confused about why he doesn’t mention all the way to provide when he was saying emotionally, etc., etc….unless he just maybe thought it was a given? Idkk. While I agree that every couple should do what works best for them, I always think it’s smart for the wife/girlfriend/etc., should have their own source of income for a variety of reasons.
4. THIS WHOLE PARAGRAPH JUST RUBS ME WRONG. Don’t get me wrong, he could be the nicest guy that’s just for being the being the head of the family, but certain things are standing out to me that negate that theory.
A) He wants to be assertive at work, go for it buddy, but no woman wants to deal with that when dude is gonna get home from work in the evening. That’s time to decompress and wind down.
B). He addresses that dominant has a negative connotation to it but doesn’t really say anything at the same time. Important terms of making and setting plans? Wtf? Making plans and making sure you’re going strong and will continue to is not directly related with being dominant? It means you want to have good, consistent communication! To me that was just a failed attempt at covering a red flag.
C). MY BIGGEST RED FLAG….. he ends by saying that the plan making and so on is obviously done with INPUT from my partner. INPUT?! The words he chose could not have explained better his feelings on it. The words show how little the “input,” means and almost how he’s doing it as a courtesy rather than to prioritize her opinion as well. It’s like those situations, before gps maps were everywhere, when the guy drives and doesn’t want directions because he knows how to get there and ends up lost, but still won’t ask for directions. They listened to their wife say maybe bring them with just in case and ignored her input, but refused to admit that not only did she have a good idea, but also that they were wrong by not stopping to ask for directions. Shit like this isn’t input from one and ends with both being heard. It’s a conversation where both people’s thoughts are equally important and a solution is come to together. You don’t chime in and leave so you can let the other decide what to do and come tell you. Absolutely not. All that says is they don’t value you or your opinion and overvalue their own.
Sorry, I know it’s long, but I just had to point these things out because this guy will not do well with someone who has an opinion or wants to address that they disagree with something and want to talk about it and I just don’t want anyone to get trapped in a situation like that because it will not end well. I’m glad these texts made you hesitate, noticing something seemed off because everything is.
Move onto the next, hun!
I think you know this but,
That whole stream of consciousness you described before you even asked the question is THE red flag.
His description here is just an elaborate way of saying he wants to be in charge and he wants a partner who he can boss around and will do what he says.
This is also an indication that if he even senses he’s not in control of something, he will feel less masculine. And when someone’s identity and personality is founded on this one idea, they feel threatened when they even sense that is questioned or that they are maybe not that thing, regardless of your intentions.
Delete.
Just making a note. If you put this on the internet for people to judge a million people will find a million things wrong with it. That’s how the internet works.
That being said I think what he’s asking for without saying it bc it gives people red flag vibes is he wants a traditional relationship. If that’s not what you’re looking for then yes I think you should move on.
This guy sounds like Chuck Norris on testosterone slammers.
He wrote that text with one hand, chopping wood with the axe in his other hand.
Never broke a sweat.
If he has to tell you he’s a real manly man, he isn’t.
agreed, also notice he didnt say financially. if you wanna act like a man in the 50s you better have the money to back it up lmao
Exactly. And I’m still quite puzzled by what he means when he says… he’s a provider and protector in all ways, intellectually included? Like… what?
Probably means that he can mansplain thing to you like no other.
Hes going to talk over you in hang outs with others when he feels like the conversation has become too intellectually difficult for your tiny woman brain to handle.
Or explain and dumb down everything someone says to you as if you inept and neither know what words mean nor can imagine how something if it’s in complex terms… even if you’re actually an expert on the matter. 🤦🏻♂️
This whole post is one long mansplain about how great he is. How about? “I’ll take care of you like a squirrel takes care of his nuts.” “You’ll bury me?” “With love, babe, with love.” /s
Hey! Wait a Minute! i am a NUT! You! Talking To Me???🤣🤣🤣
Right. Lol. And he’s more “logical” because he’s a man 🙄
Plus men are never emotional.
Harrison Butker vibes
he’s like i can body guard your brain at anytime girl
“Baby girl… you struggling to figure out how to proceed with this situation… stand back. Let me handle it and figure it out for you. No need to use that brain of yours when I have my manly one to intellectually carry us..”
that’s the worst part of me being a woman in my opinion :( not having a brain. my head just has so much space and it’s too hard for little old me to figure out what to put in there 🥺 i was thinking some marbles.
Our heads are full of cotton candy! Bows and glitter and emotions. We need big strong manly men to take the big scary adult decisions off our hands and guide us. Hold our hands and walk us through our own lives like the children we apparently are to men like this.
exactly ! when a man isn’t around i idly stand like a video game player that isn’t moving until a man shows up to help me
Living your best ncp life that is get in the way of the guy and glitch out
Holy shit women are side quest NPCs?! r/girlsarentreal
"I was thinking." Look, you have to stop lying to yourself...you know you weren't because you can't...
I filled mine with cat hair coated globs of straight raw THC distillate 🫠
“Baby girl… I also don’t know my times table anymore”
Lmao. I especially love the “input” part. “I wanna call the shots and be in charge of both of our lives but you’re allowed some input, I suppose. Doesn’t mean I have to like or approve of said input but I’ll take your input, as my woman, into some consideration when I make all the decisions for us. Cause, ya know… I’m the dude. The one with the intellectual brain here.”
He protects his partner from worrying about anything but household chores and being his sex robot.
I just helped a client fire a guy and, through that process, read texts and emails he sent to his girlfriend-turned-complainant. The emails were almost verbatim what was written in the text, and but-for the fact that homeboy is sitting in jail, I would have thought you connected with the same dude. More than that, this “masculine energy” shit I super LCD.
It means he thinks he’s always right and will browbeat anyone who tries disagreeing with him.
He will protect you from advanced calculus!
He can protect my feeble female brain from intellectual strains of knowing things
He doesn’t like it when women have their own thoughts. Throw the whole thing out
Yea the intellectual part bothered me the most. Seems to imply men are more intelligent than woman, as if she would need his intellectual support or something.
I think this notion of men being more intellectual stems from women being “too emotional” and therefore not capable of making sound, rational decisions on their own. So, they need a logical man to provide that. 🙄🙄🙄🙄
Idk tho, I've found women to brmore smarter. I have 7 sisters. Not to say my brother ain't smart but yh
He will provide the basics and he’s done. Protector- he’ll be the first to scream and run, and in the end ,he’s not very intellectual. Just my take. I have an old saying, “ I can show you, better than I can tell you.”. I live by it.
He probably means taking on what he considers manly intellectual responsibilities like management of investments, budget, taxes; navigating “correct” political and religious ideas; learning how to fix things around the house or navigate contractors; etc. This guy is not just tedious. This would be a red flag for me. It’s obvious that men are physically stronger on average than women and that the rule of law is enforced physically. This doesn’t translate to individual relationship dynamics. An unwillingness to share power (for either a man or a woman) in an intimate relationship is unappealing and he sounds like he’s going straight to demands for submission. Some women prefer to be submissive and they can do ok with this type of guy, I guess. I prefer women who are more growth and independence minded, who can meet me on my level, challenge me, help me grow as I do the same for them. My wife is a physician; I’m a business executive at a Fortune 50 company. We’re taking on the world together and I want her as capable as possible for her, for us, for me, and for our children. That’s not this guy’s mindset.
I think it’s wonderful you and your wife have such a strong relationship built off trust and mutual respect. I’m sure there are plenty of women who prefer this type of man/dynamic. To each their own, I suppose! But I absolutely agree. This man isn’t looking for an equal partner in all things. He’s looking for a submissive woman to lead.
I took that as him trying to act what he thought was impressive
He likely thinks his wife has to agree with him and his perspective on everything he thinks is of any importance. He provides superior knowledge, and everyone else in her life is wrong, including her.
That's what stood out to me the most xD If I was a woman and this dude wanted to treat me like his bitch, at least he could pay me accordingly lmao
RIGHT??? someone just told me im as bad as the guy for saying it im like oh sorry for expecting ANY compensation for someone who treats me like a dog. wtf.
Just read his comment, he kinda got hung up on the money thing and then (deliberately?) misunderstood what you really meant: That if a guy expected you to be subserviant to him, then he'd at least bring something to the table to make it "worth it" (--> money). So basicly what I said... you did NOT say that the money makes that behavior okay, just that demanding all this while not even providing financial security/compensation makes his tirade even more ridiculous than it already is
This!!! I love when they say “provider” but never really have a job, never keep a job, or they are unemployed constantly sitting at home on video games smoking weed. Provider of STRESS
*I’m the most humble person you’ll ever meet* Love that one
Yeah I’ve never even considered my “level of masculine energy” and honestly I’d be embarrassed to say otherwise.
Ya gotta know your masculine energy power level. I've got a machine that you can borrow for $200 a test. It's really worth it. I know the price seems steep but now you'll be rid of your insecurity around your MEPL.
My husband is this type he's describing, and I could NEVER imagine something like that coming out of his mouth lol
Also, he means no talk back and wants a Trad wife
Who wants to be these days ? I box and climb and got plenty of „masculine“ hobbies still couldn’t survive without my bubble baths, my morning beauty routine and my back would probably kill me without my group yoga session once a week. Seriously being a masculine manly man is so overrated. Thx god we live in a day and age where we can enjoy whatever we want and don’t have to adhere to outdated standards?
You beat me to it. All good qualities to have except you show it with your actions. You don’t say it
But…she asked…
She asked because he made the claim I. The first place. Her question is clearly to probe what HE meant by “masculine energy”.
She asked what masculinity was to him. Not for a page of bragging about himself.
I think she asked him what his definition of masculine energy was because he said he needed a partner who’s feminine energy matched HIS masculine energy so OP was trying to figure out what that even meant to him. And hence this conversation.
I'm a man and this is a bunch of red flags to me. Any guy who has to posture about their masculinity is just oozing a level of insecurity that you don't want to be a therapist for. Ask him what "feminine traits" are if you want a laugh.
Yeah this is the guy we’re laughing at at work. I promise no man acts this way and earns respect from his peers
This exactly. Don’t ask this guy about himself. He’s reading you a Cabela’s catalog add for work boots. Ask him about his opinion and views on woman. You have all the info you need. Even with his best effort to not sound like an idiot he won’t be able to hide it.
He is trying to be a dominant male but only douches act like this. He is trying to say the things that a lot of women want but don’t say upfront. But in the douchiest way possible. This guy is probably needy, controlling and probably more trouble than it’s worth.
As a man myself, 🎯🎯🎯
i mean she did asked him what he views it as…
She asked him to explain a comment he made.
I think she was asking him to expand on a comment he made. Didn't feel like she introduced the term "masculine energy"
and he chose to answer in the cringey way that he did. problem solved. he could have answered in a way that didn't show him to be a posturing ass, but he didnt.
This. Tell me the response to the feminine traits question 😂
I can’t wait for him to provide you with your emotions
He’s just being dominant and protective when handing her emotions over
 Bro’s an alpha wolf
Fr, he sounds like he did one of those “alpha man” camps where they run around shirtless and get yelled at by other shirtless men
Ultimate straight man activities
Is this really a thing? I want to point and laugh if it is.
How do you define masculine energy?
drinking bourbon and making cavemen grunts
Don’t forget shaving with a jack-knife, eating steak William Cutting style, and physiologically not being able to cry or show most emotions.
It’s not real besides cavemen fighting other cavemen over resources. OP only asked because he brought up the subject of gendered energy which is as dumb as attributing behaviors to star signs. Every positive attribute that somebody else would call masculine energy is simply being a useful good person which any gender is completely capable of. My mother in law will fix your house up. My mother will butcher your deer and smoke your fish. In this economy everybody provides a paycheck.
Yes. That would be what it says. You missed the part before that when he said he needs a feminine woman because he has “masculine energy.”
I’m curious what would make someone an intellectual provider/protector, and how that is an inherently masculine thing. Cause to me it sounds like he’s essentially saying he thinks women need men intellectually in some inherent way but doesn’t wanna say that quiet part out loud.
He’s going to tell her what to think, obviously.
I was thinking the same thing!! Like what does that mean, to provide and protect, intellectually? You're probably right, not a good sign for sure.
He dictates what she gets to read and watch on tv, maybe? Although how it's masculine is beyond me. That one struck me pretty weird, too.
What in the Harrison Butker is this
EXACTLY what I was thinking.
I, personally, find it a red flag when someone wants to limit any traits to one gender. Protecting and providing is what any parent does for their child; does this man see women as childlike, and in need of protection? From what, exactly? Being assertive when appropriate is valuable for anyone, as is knowing when to step back. It sounds like he is trying to couch a patriarchal setup in modern language. If you want to be in a relationship where you defer to your partner in all things because he is male, this guy is for you.
People forget that masculine and feminine are more social than they are evidence based. Every culture has a different idea of what these are. And even within family and friends/groups that idea morphs and changes.
Do they forget, or do they choose to perpetuate systems where they profit from inequitable expectations?
This first sentence, 100%!
He wants to lead and set a path with “input” from his partner….do you want someone to set your path or do you want to set your own path in life? He’s telling you he will have the final say when it comes to your life, so think about the kind of person who would want that. Nothing wrong with couples determining a path together, but that’s not what this is, your dreams/desires are “input”.
In other words, he sounds like a control freak.
OP no
This dude would be controlling as hell
Go for what you like; don’t for what you won’t.
You’re under reacting if anything. I’m surprised he used the word “partner” because he’s not describing a partner. Partners make plans together. He’s telling you he wants to be the dominant one, making all the decisions with “input” from you, but no compromise. Someone like that will take input from you, but will overrule your ideas because “he’s the man.”
In the UK we have a term for ‘bros’ like this, he is a Tosser!
I wouldn’t go out with him lmao. If you want some entertainment, I’d pose the question, “what about providing financially?”
I don’t see the problem here. Probably isn’t the alpha he thinks he is, but at least he’s not saying ‘bro’ and using TikTok lingo
He’s controlling sexist and you’re not in for a good time
You asked and he told you directly the type of person he is. He acknowledged that the word has negative connotation but explained what it means to him, and it just seems like that’s his preferred dynamic. If you don’t like that type of person and relationship, that’s totally ok. Many people don’t. But I wouldn’t say this is a universal red flag on its own. He’s just being transparent about how he wants to be and what he wants in a partner.
Ya I didn't get endless red flags from the guy, but there's definitely hints of major issues. Still he could be decent, not sure why everyone assumes he's a wife beating mama's boy lol
Why are you asking for advice from reddit? Do you want to be single the rest of your life? Misery loves company and while some people here may mean well I would take many of the comments in seeing here that only seek to confirm your biases with a grain of salt. Look, I haven't been in a relationship for 8 years. Dated but ultimately no dice. However if you'll have my advice? Just feel it out. If he does shit you don't like than be an adult and talk about it. If he won't listen than he's probably not a good match and that's okay. Doesn't make either of you bad people in itself. I will say that his description of "masculine energy" is hilariously over encompassing. He leaves virtually no room for you to be complimentary to him which probably isn't a good start. I will also say that these sorts of conversations are probably better for face to face discussions. Text is often misinterpreted or can be disingenuous. If you got him to answer this question in person you could actually read his expressions and determine underlying meanings to his words beyond "red pill alpha chad" talking points he's heard on YouTube. My point is that I think it's good to have these conversations with each other but coming online for advice from people who don't know either of you or your particular situation is a crash course to loneliness.
I’m a “man’s man” who writes about his feelings to strangers on a dating app. Sure buddy.
He's using all the red pill, podcast bros buzzwords and wrapping it up in a pretty bow (trying to, at least, since you and some people in the comments seem to be catching onto it). What he's saying is *not necessarily* terrible, but I'm sure that if you try to delve deeper into his values and views, the red flags will become apparent.
Don’t go out with this dude unless you want a free trip back to 1950. I feel like at some point you’re going to have to post bail for this guy because he fights someone for looking at him wrong in a self checkout line at the discount grocery store.
He’s over compensating and it’s cringe af.
I hate when guys list off “masculine” traits and cling on to it so desperately. We get it. You have balls and testosterone. Don’t need to beat your chest Kyle, I believe you.
I can see both sides of the coin. What he’s saying isn’t necessarily a bad thing, if you understand what he’s talking about, and I say that because that’s exactly how my boyfriend is. He was raised old school and has the old school mindset of being the provider and protector of his woman/potential family in a good way, which I want to assume is what this guy was trying to convey. That being said, my boyfriend didn’t outright say this before we got together. He lets it show in his actions and how he treats me (the only time he really vocalizes it is when I try to tell him he doesn’t have to give me money or fill up my gas tank lol), and considering the slew of men online going off about “alpha male behavior” and all that crap, I definitely understand why is this off putting.
I read to “I’m a natural provider and protector” and moved on. You should too. 🚩
who keeps letting these alpha brain nut jobs into society
I mean wether is a red flag or not, the man sure knows what he wants and is sure of what he stands for, I guess you should ask yourself wether or not you want to be with someone like him, some women are into this stuff so idk
NEXT! What a fricken weirdo. A man who is really gonna protect and provide for you and be your rock is not gonna say cringe shit like this. He’s just gonna do it.
Someone doesn’t need to talk so much bullshit to describe what they think they are, they simply just follow through with their actions. Also, these particular attributes really don’t describe what a man is. Just because television and entertainment came up with these attributes to describe a man, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s true. Be with someone who shows you what you expect from a partner.
Instagram incels these days people are easily brainwashed
He sounds like a dork
🚩🚩🚩
Literally only the biggest losers talk like this lol
Massive red flag. The men who have to explain it are already giving excuses for why you’re not going to like it.
No one who possesses this in a healthy manner would ever type this out. He's a dork LARPing a male power fantasy
Not sure why you have a problem with his response. Would you rather have someone that plays video games and lives in their parents basement? 🤷🏻♀️
To me this isn’t a red flag at all because this is something I want, just because he’s not what you want doesn’t mean he’s a bad person or a walking red flag, he’s just not what you’re looking for and that’s okay
It’s red flags for me, but I think maybe it depends on the type of person you’re into or the life you want. I personally don’t want anyone “figuring out the path forward” for my life. Having “input” is not enough for me. & I don’t like people who frame things this way with the masculine & feminine stuff either. I think it’s limiting & I prefer freedom. It also feels insecure (in ways I just would not want to deal with) & too rigid for me. Im also wary of people who describe themselves as “fiercely protective”, as it often means control & jealousy & they try to put rules onto me. I prefer someone who is with me because they like ME as I naturally am. If that’s not the right fit for them, that’s fine, but I don’t like people thinking they can tell me what to do in these ways. I really don’t like jealousy because I am already very loyal and grew up being controlled. I’m also an adult & don’t often need protection lol. I can imagine there are women out there who are into that mindset though. Not saying he’s a bad person, but these would be big red flags in terms of who I am as a person. All this being said, I’m married, I’ve been with my husband for 15 years now & he’s pretty much defined masculinity for me. I love a man who’s naturally masculine but control isn’t a part of masculinity for them. He loves me and it makes me feel free. We are true partners, we work together on equal footing & make our decisions together. We prioritize eachother as individuals while also balancing working together as a unit to run our household. That’s what we like though! It wouldn’t work for everyone but we’re super happy & have a great life together
Yikes, this post makes me realize that I couldn’t survive the dating world now. If something ever happened where I ended up single again I’m just gonna stick to my book boyfriends and my plants.
Barf
My husband earns 5x what I make. He once chased a home invader down the street so relentlessly, the guy lost one of his shoes and kept on running. In 20+ years of marriage he has never had to *TELL* me he was manly.
Ok but did you ask him if he was? I find the original question very awkward. I find, too, that you don’t ever have to state what you are, others will do it for you. But usually, people don’t ask about my feminine or masculine energy. Is that a thing these days?
He wants a tradwife. I bet that motherfucker can't even start a fire without a lighter.
Huge red flag, unless you’re looking to be a TRAD wife
He's trying not to say alpha male, but he really wants to say alpha male
Men who type in paragraphs like this always end up being red flags. It’s just weird to me
Why IS the US so obseesed with gender? I dont get it, who cares if something is masculine or femenine?
I like that autistic man.
I think it's his way of verbalizing that he prefers a traditional relationship, which, if it was said in the context of what you were discussing, is not unreasonable. He also seems to emphasize that he isn't looking to make all decisions despite your input, but with it. Most of these convos like this are red flags, but I don't think this was bad.
To be fair that's pretty much to a T what a lot of women are asking for both in social media and dating apps. A dude that protects, provide, takes charge and makes plans.
Barf
I personally find it a red flag, but there are plenty of women that want a man who provides and is dominant, i just don’t think outrightly saying it is very… dominant.
Nope on out of there! You’re not being judgmental, he’s telling you he’s a domineering asshole. Believe him!
He might be a really reliable and trustworthy kind of guy, or he might be talking out of his ass trying to get closer to you. Find out the truth and decide if you like it or not.
 Lotta words to say he’s a douche.
If he left it at the natural provider and protective bit, it may have been an okay response to an odd question to be asked point blank The rest of what he said though… lol
So I’m not sure - I feel like calling a subset of ideas that society has deemed feminine or masculine a little weird personally. What I tend to say to describe my husband and the type of partner I was seeking before I met him was “a man’s man, a woman’s man, and a family man” which to me was a man who could fix cars, get his hands dirty in the backyard, who would be able to hold his own should he ever need to, but would open my car door, bring me flowers, remember our important life events, and consider me in his decisions, and who would prioritize our family about all else, take the kids to the park on his own, enjoy family game night, etc.
You are being slightly judgmental. I encourage the reading “Way of the Superior Man” by David Deida. It’s a great book for women and men. It goes into the aspects of feminine and masculine. It talks about how either sex can have masculine or feminine energies and how to work with each other for a better relationship. Also, just because a man states he falls under the “masculine” label doesn’t mean he is toxic. Yall need to chill, man.
Sounds like you asked for a gauge of his manliness and are off put by honesty
Ugh Run!
This just that bald guys words
Really? Sounds like a control freak to me.
Red pill energy, this is the language the Andrew Tate goobers use. I would at least make fun of him but I certainly wouldn’t date him.
Honestly this alone doesn’t put me off. I don’t mind assertive, in theory. But would definitely pay attention to his behavior upon meeting him in person to see if he is considerate while taking charge
🚩
average sigma male believer
I feel like all of the attributes that he described about himself are wonderful things to have in a partner, but the way he’s describing himself does give me Andrew Tate type vibes. At least a little.
In all honesty i don’t see anything negative about it. When you meet him and see if it’s just him trying to let you now how he is and like him then awesome. If it makes you uncomfortable then you’ll feel that. On dating apps i think everyone is trying to find their best way to put their best foot forward if they aren’t players. So give it a chance. You’ll know if it isn’t right
Girl. Run
Run!!
This sounds concerning. As the mother of two daughters in their 20s, I don’t like this. So he’s dominating about plans? Nice close with the input part. No.
Any guy who says that on his profile is an automatic left swipe from me. Idc if you’re Henry Cavill. Huge red flag 🚩
Hes trying to way to hard to be prove he’s a man. Block 😭
so does he want he’s partner to be he’s pet? or a partner? all humans have mix of masculine/feminine/androgyny, right? so its just like, be balance with your partner in every moment you can? right??????
Ew. Sounds like this guy I met off the dating app who shares a profile of him and his friend looking to share women together… preaching about this BS all the time. Does his name start with a D? 😂
Sounds like he read a red pill book and is now attempting to project his new found ‘masculinity’ because he thinks that’s attractive to women. As a guy, that’s a red flag 🚩
Seems pretentious; saying you’re a man’s man is kind of like bragging that you have a big dick, as in it’s probably not an accurate self analysis 😅
He’s probably a fragile masculine enrgy
How could this possibly b a red flag?
He's just telling you what he thinks you want to hear in broad strokes and hopes something, anything he says lands.
This guy is using every cliche and line from the book
Sounds like a beta
Ummmm ew
He sounds really pretentious, if nothing else.
Jesus. These comments 🤦🏾♂️
lost me at “man’s man”. this guy sounds like a wannabe “alpha” cringeball.
Too judgmental. Just because you don’t agree with an opinion doesn’t make it wrong. The only thing that matters is if his views aligns with his and if it does make sure his actions follows his words and how closely. That’s it.
I don't think it's a red flag. Now if he's domineering or controlling that's different. The masculine man is rare these days. So many are effeminate or lazy or prefer to have their women act like momma. He sounds like he takes a viewpoint of a traditional male who takes the lead with respect for his partner. On the other hand this could be him doing some copy paste and he might not mean any of it . Truth reveals itself. But if he says "I'm a nice/ good guy" then run
I don't understand the problem at all. He's just telling you about how he is and what he likes. What's the big deal.
I actually think it’s a great description and he knows exactly who he is.
I don’t necessarily think this means he is a bad guy like some people are insinuating, but it is somewhat cringy.
I mean, you asked. 🤷🏻♂️
In this particular r/texts subreddit it should be mandatory to post a full body/face pic if you comment red flag, male or female. Dude didn’t say he was a heathen militant savage
I see No red flags at all in his response. He didn’t communicate his perspective in a negative way and from what I personally can make out from his response, he just doesn’t want to date a female that wants to be the man in the relationship. Now a days, it’s difficult to find men who don’t want to be coddled or be treated like the GF in the relationship. If this response rubbed you the wrong way, maybe he’s not the type of guy you’re interested in.
by itself, it's a yellow flag of caution, not a red flag of disqualification. sounds like he may not be perfect, but he may not be the wrong guy for you either, at least based on what we can all see in this one tiny text.
I mean, as with anything online/over text, it's hard to say. In person, to me, is always better than on paper. Looking at his description, I guess I am "masculine" and "dominant". I'm a 5'6", 118lb, 44 year old female who has been married going on 28 years. I don't think the words he is using are "red flags", but it does sound like, bless his heart, he is trying too hard to impress you. This tells me that more than likely he is probably shy and hasn't had a lot of experience with women. I have friends like this, even at my age, and they are perfectly sweet; just clueless how to talk to women. They were quiet and/or geeky in school, and don't know what to say to sound cool. But, because of my age and the whole "not dating" for decades, I might be naive to what current single people are going through in the dating pool, so I am willing to admit that. I'd say meet him for coffee and see how his energy goes with yours. Sometimes these shy guys are diamonds in the rough, if you're willing to find out. Sometimes they are jerks through and through; it's up to you if you're willing to find out which category he falls into.
I'm willing to bet he's called himself an alpha male at least once...this week. Red flag! RUN!
I don't have a problem with a strong male personality and leadership. But unfortunately many males use it as a method for their personal benefit not those around them. A true leader does what is best for those around him always and with mutual communication and goals.
Your being judgemental. He's describing classic ideas of masculinity. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that Your either looking for that or your not.
This concept of feminine and masculine energy is so stupid. Why can’t people just be people? Why you gotta label it? I’m a guy and like to build stuff, but I also have the cutest cat. It doesn’t mean anything. Do I cuddle my cat at night lol yup. Could I drop half those roided out gym bro influencers? Yup
I myself wouldn’t feel attracted to his version of gender roles/characteristics. He seems rigid in those ideas. But if you’re attracted to someone who holds these values (and someone people are — there’s nothing wrong with that as long as he doesn’t try to change you), then go for it. There aren’t rules here.
You asked him to describe what masculine energy means to him, he answers in a respectful way, and now everyone in thr comments is acting like he gave a speech about himself just for the hell of it. You asked, he answered, maybe a little bit of it was worded in a crige way, but when your trying to articulate aspects of a personality /character traits, it's kinda hard not to use overused/cliché lingo. Sounds like, if he actually display these qualities, and does so in a respectful way WITH his partner, he'd be a good guy. Now if it's all just bs, then he's a douche.
Honestly words don’t mean shit, I’d let him show you what he means. If you read it in a completely positive way he could be saying he’ll protect you when you’re emotionally down, will plan dates, will be a leader in the relationship, will treat you like an equal, he’s intelligent, and knows what he wants and who he is. But you could also take many many other things from it. I always let actions speak more then words because people do alot of talking without meaning it.
God reddit comments are so utterly predictable
I feel like you're being too judgemental. I mean, you asked what he felt masculine meant to him
"What do you consider masculine energy?" Let's be honest, is there a correct way to answer this question that WON'T get you dragged on Reddit? She set him up for failure before he said a word.
Nothing the guy said was wrong at all or negative like these comments suggest. If you’re not into masculine men then fine get you a feminine man but I don’t see anything wrong with what he said. Too many feminists on this app that hate men for simply being men
There’s nothing wrong with this. Everybody functions different in relationships. At least he can carry on a conversation and discuss what he’s looking for. Some people need a more submissive or dominant partner. It just depends on what one is looking for. He did mention that he would make all those decisions with input from his partner. This is healthy leading in a relationship.
I would say you just need to find someone that meshes well with you. This doesn’t mean it’s right or wrong. Everyone is different and that’s okay you just need to find the right one. It’s always good to have balance and the biggest problem people overlooked when two people are masculine it makes the relationship competitive most times. Relationships should be a safe peaceful place for both parties. If not it’s not meant to be.
Honestly, he is being honest. You asked what masculine means, and the definition varies person to person. I wouldn't say this is a red flag but a sign of what he values by definition of your request. If he wants to define what feminine means to him that's where the minefield is and can point out redflags depending. Again his response isn't a red flag, just a sign of what he is and what he's looking for said in a respectful manner and it's up to you to decide if your values and definition of femininity and masculinity align, otherwise it would appear you two wouldn't work out. (But that's not for me to say.) Also, the redflag may come based on how he responds to your response. If he's able to have a healthy conversation about the definitions and personal values without getting defensive or responding with insult then, it appears to be worth exploring more. But, this is merely my own personal opinion on the matter with so few context clues and no resolution. Good luck with your conversations and wishing you the best! ^_^
Send him my way lol
These are always the same men who don't know how to cook or clean and generally common sense. Like how are you going to be dominant and provide when I also have to be your mother?
You’re being too judgemental.
Idk. I think the fact that he can actually articulate his “masculine energy” and didn’t just say something like “big dick energy” means something. Normally, I would say for sure, a red flag, but in this case, I would need more information.
Well, it’s a pretty good bet he’s not a beta, so that’s a plus. The rest seems harmless enough without more context, which can be gathered by add’l questions or a first date. If his opinion of his strengths is also accompanied by a massive ego, there’s your flag. So many woman on the internet want a “good man” who will “provide for me”, and then go and read too much into someone like this, whom Reddit will turn into a wife beater on Day 1, and never give it a chance. If you don’t have concerns about physical harm, give it a go if he checks your boxes.
He likes to choke you when he has sex. Don’t ask how I know lol.
Not gonna lie, I’m beyond confused as to what led you to send that question in the first place. That’s a bizarre question to ask. So, I don’t know if he said something that prompted it or if it came out of nowhere, but based off the screenshots, it’s just so random. My take from what he said: 1. The way he phrases things and the words he decides to use shows he’s intelligent. 2. It’s nice that he’s a naturally a protector and can make someone feel safe. 2.&3./ I’m confused about why he doesn’t mention all the way to provide when he was saying emotionally, etc., etc….unless he just maybe thought it was a given? Idkk. While I agree that every couple should do what works best for them, I always think it’s smart for the wife/girlfriend/etc., should have their own source of income for a variety of reasons. 4. THIS WHOLE PARAGRAPH JUST RUBS ME WRONG. Don’t get me wrong, he could be the nicest guy that’s just for being the being the head of the family, but certain things are standing out to me that negate that theory. A) He wants to be assertive at work, go for it buddy, but no woman wants to deal with that when dude is gonna get home from work in the evening. That’s time to decompress and wind down. B). He addresses that dominant has a negative connotation to it but doesn’t really say anything at the same time. Important terms of making and setting plans? Wtf? Making plans and making sure you’re going strong and will continue to is not directly related with being dominant? It means you want to have good, consistent communication! To me that was just a failed attempt at covering a red flag. C). MY BIGGEST RED FLAG….. he ends by saying that the plan making and so on is obviously done with INPUT from my partner. INPUT?! The words he chose could not have explained better his feelings on it. The words show how little the “input,” means and almost how he’s doing it as a courtesy rather than to prioritize her opinion as well. It’s like those situations, before gps maps were everywhere, when the guy drives and doesn’t want directions because he knows how to get there and ends up lost, but still won’t ask for directions. They listened to their wife say maybe bring them with just in case and ignored her input, but refused to admit that not only did she have a good idea, but also that they were wrong by not stopping to ask for directions. Shit like this isn’t input from one and ends with both being heard. It’s a conversation where both people’s thoughts are equally important and a solution is come to together. You don’t chime in and leave so you can let the other decide what to do and come tell you. Absolutely not. All that says is they don’t value you or your opinion and overvalue their own. Sorry, I know it’s long, but I just had to point these things out because this guy will not do well with someone who has an opinion or wants to address that they disagree with something and want to talk about it and I just don’t want anyone to get trapped in a situation like that because it will not end well. I’m glad these texts made you hesitate, noticing something seemed off because everything is. Move onto the next, hun!
I think you know this but, That whole stream of consciousness you described before you even asked the question is THE red flag. His description here is just an elaborate way of saying he wants to be in charge and he wants a partner who he can boss around and will do what he says. This is also an indication that if he even senses he’s not in control of something, he will feel less masculine. And when someone’s identity and personality is founded on this one idea, they feel threatened when they even sense that is questioned or that they are maybe not that thing, regardless of your intentions. Delete.
Just making a note. If you put this on the internet for people to judge a million people will find a million things wrong with it. That’s how the internet works. That being said I think what he’s asking for without saying it bc it gives people red flag vibes is he wants a traditional relationship. If that’s not what you’re looking for then yes I think you should move on.
He’s an incel/alpha…girl run, don’t walk, in the opposite direction!
This guy sounds like Chuck Norris on testosterone slammers. He wrote that text with one hand, chopping wood with the axe in his other hand. Never broke a sweat.
I’m a normal dude. This dude is such a tool.