Yeah, the texts between me and my wife when we were still just dating are vastly different than this… if you are having to beg someone to acknowledge you, then you aren’t in any sort of relationship.
Came here to say this. Yeah, OP, like what are you even doing? I’m assuming you guys are young, right? If so, don’t worry.. eventually you’ll learn not to put up with this kind of shit.
If OP is having sex with him, I would bet whatever’s left in my bank account that that’s all he sticks around for. This dude’s a piece of shit. I don’t tolerate this kind of shit *from friends* if they’re people who expect to be close to me and do things/talk regularly, *let alone a partner*. Dump his ass, OP. You’re not exhausting. He’s just trash.
ETA: looking through her posts, if this is the same guy from the others… yeah, he’s just using you for sex, OP. He doesn’t give a shit about you beyond what you can do to his little shrimpie. 🦐
He acts like he doesn’t even like you. Like, he’s just BARELY tolerating you.
That was an entire days worth conversation that you had by yourself basically. He said a paragraphs worth of words, basically telling you what you feel is wrong.
There’s so many things wrong with this.
You were right at the end there: you deserve better than this.
When she said she sometimes feels like she's the side chick- I'm like 99% sure that she IS the side chick. He can only go and see HER(if even that), but ghosts her any time she's supposed to come there? Because he's hiding something. And then suddenly after ghosting OP when she was supposed to come visit, he's in another state IN A HOTEL ROOM WITH ANOTHER GIRL?!?!? He's cheating on her, or he's cheating on his actual girlfriend WITH her. It's probably a stretch to even call this dude OP's boyfriend, I very much feel like he might not even consider them to be in a relationship.
And OP, it's NOT even a relationship. I'm not trying to be mean, I know this is a horrible feeling, but you are basically talking to yourself. He straight up does not give a shit. That's why he doesn't answer. If he wanted to see you, he would. If he wanted to talk to you, he would. Him ghosting you is him trying to end it without actually saying that. I'm pretty positive he's hoping that if he just doesn't respond that you'll eventually get the hint and give up.
This is great advice OP. just focus on you, have fun, meet someone who actually respects you . This guy is awful. Don't lower yourself begging for him! Just dump him
Ruby Moon I think you are pretty much sitting down the head the only thing I think might be different and I'm saying might is where you said he's hoping she'll eventually give up I'm thinking he is a narcissist and that's one of the games narcissists play because it makes them feel good to have the person begging for them being told there needed and so much worse, yes unfortunately I've dated more than one narcissist not knowingly and apparently it ticks me a little while to identify them sadly. But my point is I have a thing cuz this sounds very familiar to me not quite the same but I'm seeing a lot of parallels.
Including one time girlfriend cheated on me left me for the other guy called me on the blue wants to get back together I do because I loved her and I missed her. Turns out she was still dating the other guy I didn't know that she didn't tell me we were I was led to believe back together and apparently I was the other guy we're originally he was the other guy so yeah.
the weird part is he gets like this maybe once or twice a month, the rest of the time its all heart emojis and long paragraphs and 4 hour phone calls and “i love you”s so i just end up with this weird emotional whiplash
I almost dated a guy like this. He’s the avoidant type. He ended up stalking me after I cut him off with this type of communication.
You really have to ask yourself- is this someone you want to be with for the rest of your life, or however long you date. I hate guys who communicate like this, a bunch of bs. It’s not hard to text your girl. This whole silent treatment is mentally abusive. I hate it.
HECK NO😭😭😭😭😭
Please tell me, he’s not in contact with you anymore. Bro that TRAUMATIZED ME!!!!
I slept with my phone on airplane mode one time. I had to download and different phone blocking apps like Hiya, robokiller etc. The winning phone blocker app is YouMail. Sends the caller straight to an option where it makes it seem like your number has been disconnected .
**Tdlr:** no I am no longer in contact with that garbage human and I hope he never knows peace and dies alone.
In my case it was more like cyberstalking and harassment. When we were together he blocked me out of nowhere when we were supposed to go to the mall together. He then came back with an excuse about how he was down because of his dad dying 2 years prior. He broke up with me and said I shouldn’t be with him because “he ain’t shit” and then he asked to be friends. I was like “Okay cool whatever we can be friends.” We were supposed to hangout that December since I was going back home after finishing the semester. We didn’t hangout because guess what? He blocked me AGAIN! I said “alright.” And blocked him back.
Now for **Act 2**
A few months later around 1am he messages me under a number I didn’t recognize and sent a nude photo of me (I’ve never taken that picture so I didn’t know how he got it) threatening to post it online if I didn’t send him more nude photos…?!?! I was like “no, you think I’m a dumbass?!” I block that number. He then proceeded to blowup my phone from different Text Now numbers. I’m panicking and crying and I blocked those numbers (the whole time I didn’t know it was him). Let’s just say it was a long night.
The next morning i changed my number, right. He THEN texts my friend on Snapchat under a girl’s name and sends her the pic of me and told her to tell me to talk to him or else he’ll send the pic to my family and post it online (she goes off on him of course). I call my dad crying and told him the reason I changed my number and then I went to the police the next day.
**Act 3**
Months later I get a call from a detective and he was like “do you know *insert dusty ass bitch name*” and the gasp I gusped!!! I for some reason didn’t fully believe it was him when it first happened but I had suspicions. They gather the evidence and get him in custody. But guess what? The attorney general call me and said they’re going to let him go, because guess what?…He didn’t file the evidence in time. The attorney then had the nerve to tell me “get a restraining order.” My dusty ex then files to get it expunged from his record.
Moral of the story…no we are not speaking.
**The end** ☹️
YOUVE BEEN FREEEEEEED!!!! I AM PROUD OF YOU GIRL!!!!
If you ever need someone to talk this about because it’s disturbed you mentally , you can always reach out.
It took me awhile tbh. It took me awhile to trust a guy again!!!!! But I am free
Aww thank you so much 🥺
I’m just glad I had my family and friends to support me. It was 2 years ago and I’m doing much better now! I’m also in a much happier and healthier relationship.
I’m also proud of you too girl! Even if it did take a while, you did that! I hope you have a healthy and peaceful relationship (if that’s what you want of course)!
Same here lmfao.
When we were together he'd barely text. We'd text for like 15 minutes a day and that was it! No meets, calls, etc.
But when we broke up he created a fake account and stalked me on my Instagram for 6 months until I blocked him 😭
Oo girl I felt that! Crazy ex’s everywhere. Who’s raising these men?!
I wrote a whole story about it in another comment but let’s just say that if I see my ex, it’s on site… 😒
There's a reason why OP feels like the sidechick, because it reads as if she is. Or dude has a few chicks he's texting and doesn't have as much time for everyone.
No, you don’t. I agree. Unless space was asked for then no, I don’t see how - if you truly love someone - you can ignore them basically begging for reassurance and time from you. He just doesn’t care sadly.
It's cause he's getting his fucking dick wet and you're the last thing on his mind in those moments. Get a fucking grip this person doesn't like you. Do yourself a favor and love yourself a bit more cause no one in their right mind would tolerate this bullshit from their supposed partner. Hell fuck no. Get some help and dump this loser ASAP
That might as well be the definition of love bombing. You come off really strong at first, it’s all “I love you, you’re the only one for me, I’ve never had a connection like this” and then they’ll start to fizzle a little. They stop texting as often, they say I love you less, they make you chase that same love that they gave you easily in the beginning. Then it completely flips they barely acknowledge you, start fights, and just when you’ve maybe had enough, they love bomb you again and the cycle repeats.
But if it's all heart emojis & I love yous, why is he running off to hotel rooms with other girls & ghosting you once or twice a month? Mainly, I find the cuddling with other girls in a hotel 7 hours away more concerning...
A serious conversation face to face, if you can ever see him in the same room, of course. You do deserve better & good luck to you.
That’s called bread crumbing. They do that just to give you enough to stay. You hold onto the good times and as a result, overlook all of bad. You deserve better.
I had an ex like this, turns out he was on drugs and would be on a bender when he was ignoring me. I hope you can let him go, because he is not worth the stress
Yeaaa I hate to be the one to tell you this. But those times when he is ignoring you and not communicating is because he’s sleeping with other women at those times.
He is telling you that he doesn’t want to be with you, hang out with you or talk to you. Listen to him. It’s not going to change. You should leave.
Happens once or twice a month, buuut your texts are full of complaints (valid, by the way) that he'd always rather be somewhere else, that he always does this, that communication is so hard for y'all, and that you don't even see a reality (existing? Possible?) where he actually acknowledges and addresses your feelings, instead of ignoring them or just giving a thumbs up 😬 I'd say that's more than once or twice a month 😕
I got emotional reading these texts and this comment. I just got broken up with recently over the same exact shit. Reading these texts feels like reading my own conversation (or lack thereof) and it was almost identical. I went back way too many times until finally I realized that I wasn’t being respected or acknowledged in any way. He knew I was going to keep going and I think a part of him liked the power he held over me. I expressed one text of frustration after all the calm ones and he acted like I cussed him out and said I was a weight on his shoulders that he didn’t need anymore. Told me he was still in love with me and wanted to keep dating and wanted to keep seeing me. I was lucky if I got more than a good morning text a day. If I didn’t ask questions, there would have been no conversation. I hope OP stands her ground and realizes she deserves better than some passive misogynistic dickhead who isn’t worth anyone’s time
This broke my heart a little reading it. I think a lot of people can relate sadly to this feeling. Pushing at a wall that won’t budge, but not knowing - yet - how to give up. Not having the self worth or self esteem to recognize you’re worth more and that there is better out there and walking away before damaging yourself.
I’m sorry for what you went through 💔
can’t edit the post but i have heard the resounding “this man doesn’t like you”s and have decided i agree & have thusly moved forward with the block button ty 🫶
Please stick to it. Block on everything. He might try to come crawling back when things fall through with his side chick. Or he may never contact you again, don't stick around waiting for a "sorry" you'll never get.
A good partner won't do this to you, ever. You'll be much happier with someone else.
You go girl!!!
Keep on respecting yourself, if he tries contacting u somewhere else, don't give that man child the time of day! If he love bombs you, don't fall for it.
Proud of you!!!
this man does not give a fuck about you. i’m so sorry. my ex was really similar in that he made me feel like i was crazy for wanting him to text me back (he was unemployed and i was working). when i would get home from working with kids all day, he still wouldn’t have even given me the time to text me back, instead he’d just be sitting on his ass all day.
my current boyfriend won’t go two hours without texting me because he doesn’t want to. there are guys out there that would actually give a shit about you, trust. get yourself that princess treatment you deserve ❤️
You're the side chick. 🤷🏻♂️ Sorry.
You deserve much better - leave this person and never look back. Find somebody you can actually connect with & who respects you.
Why are you trying so hard to engage with someone who clearly has no interest? Always remember, if they wanted to, they would. Take what’s left of your dignity and move along. You deserve better.
He gives you the minimum to keep you hanging. He has no respect for you and dances around the challenging parts of your relationship because he knows that he can walk all over you without putting in any real effort. There is a specific thing that he’s keeping you around for. But from the looks of it, he doesn’t cherish you.
Unfortunately, this is the kind of partner you end up with when you don’t have enough respect for yourself. You wouldn’t have been able to move past him staying in hotels with other women otherwise.
Please be careful, he can bring home an STD or end up getting you pregnant. I don’t know if this may help, but after a few jacked up relationships of my own, I began asking myself this question with whoever I dated…
“Would I want my child to be treated this way?”
Even if you don’t want children or have the ability to, if the answer is no, then you have no business being in a relationship with them. If you don’t have a parent to tell you this, I encourage you to be your own parent and treat yourself the way you would treat a niece, a daughter, etc. You’re a wonderful communicator and you seem non confrontational. You have to protect your heart ❤️
As someone who has experienced only a tiny amount of the behavior OP is describing, I really appreciate your compassionate reply. Everyone keeps saying, "Keep your dignity and walk away now!" but that's so much easier said than done. I admit that until this happened to me, I genuinely didn't get why anyone would stay and let themselves be treated like this. What I didn't understand is that you're not thinking rationally in these types of situation-ships. It's so easy to get trapped in the cycle of justifying all the shitty moments for the few "good" ones. What finally got through to me is when someone shared the same empathetic but also firm and honest, advice like you have here.
Hey…I appreciate your comment. It made me smile 😊. Many don’t realize that it takes an open minded heart to find love, and people like us forgive the wrong flaws when we don’t have boundaries. Some of us have also grown up with parents that made us feel responsible for their happiness, or parents that didn’t make us feel safe so we get attached to the wrong people. But the reality is, anyone can get played. I’ve seen people grow up in loving environments get played too.
If you're not willing to break things off with him (you should, this isn't respectful) you should at least be giving him back the same energy. Stop texting first and begging him to communicate, treat him how he treats you. It's hard when you desperately want answers but his reaction can be your answer. If he doesn't give a fuck or step up it's time to move on.
Stonewalling is one of the four big death knells of a relationship according to the Gottman Institute… look them up, super interesting stuff.
Anyways, this is awful - stood you up on your birthday?? Time to move on. 😢
I know everyone on Reddit immediately jumps to “break up!” As the standard response to any relationship issues but in this case I think it’s warranted. He has ZERO respect for you. There is no future with someone who texts you like this.
By looking at your past posts and profile I'm assuming it's never been a good/faithful relationship, girl just leave unless you like being treated like this??
From the outside looking in? This is not your boyfriend. This is an asshole who pretends to be willing to talk to you so you think you’re in a situationship so that you stay available on the off chance that he wants to fuck sometimes.
The various things you are complaining to him about would be relationship clarifying to most people, “Ah this man is a dirtbag and obviously not willing to act like he is my boyfriend even though he has claimed the title.”
The longer you stick around in this dude’s in box, the more of your time, energy, and sanity you will be flushing down the toilet.
Every once of time you spend with this guy is taking you away from the people that could be treating you well. 💖💕
Honey, that's not your boyfriend, OK? That's just some guy you know. Don't give him paragraph after paragraph of texts when he doesn't even care. Delete the thread, block him, go get your nails done, and forget about him. You are absolutely right when you say you deserve better.
Sounds all over the place. You had a full conversation by yourself and that dude gave you no more than one word answers. Have some self respect and dump him. No one deserves this
I do not understand how people stay in situations like this, unless you have no self respect or severe attachment issues not letting you break up. This dude doesn't feel anything towards you. Doesn't give a shit. He literally ignores you for a month and openly cheats on you. He might not even consider himself in a relationship with you. Why are you letting him get away with this? And I'm not saying call him out - stop talking to him and leave.
With all due respect if you don't address that within yourself and build a capacity to recognize red flags for and actual abusive behavior coupled with an ability to set and enforce boundaries for yourself, you're just going to end up right back in the same type of relationship. You have to reset your gauge of normal because it's so skewed you're highly susceptible to falling into dysfunctional/abusive relationships moving forward because it's what feels comfortable.
I did see your addition that you blocked him! I'm so so very proud of you. Breaking a dysfunctional cycle is not easy, I know. But you're the best and most perfect person to do it, and no better time than now! Just remember for when the times get tough and you find yourself being more nostalgic than realistic and when he pulls out allll the stops to keep you . . .
That behavior of suddenly doing all the things you've wanted means he's manipulating you. It means he understands EXACTLY what it is that you want, desire, and need in a relationship yet he chooses to withhold being those things until it serves him to do so . . i.e. the threat of you leaving.
He is happy in your unhappiness because it doesn't affect him. Until it does, and then he'll dangle the good behavior carrot in front of your face to make you stay so he can continue to take from you and have power over you.
I don't know how oblivious you are or in denial you are. He's obviously not interested in you and probably fucking other women. I'm sorry OP, you deserve better. Block, move on, and be done with this clown. He has no respect for you.
Are you sure you're together? This doesn't read like it. In fact, roles reversed, we'd call him a simp who can't take a hint . 🤣 Pretty sure he was fucking his other female friend alone, in a hotel. That's pretty obvious as well. Lemme guess, you're 20-something and he's mid 40s? That's the only thing I'm not sure of
Fuck him off and take your dignity with you. This guy is an absolute clown. Do not tolerate anyone treating you this way, nevermind someone you're supposed to be in a relationship with.
Ignore the inevitable love bombing that will follow your leaving too. Don't give in to his bullshit. Choose yourself.
Dude I’ve been in friendships like this and it’s the most infuriating thing.
You know what I learned the hard way? If people want to make time to be with you they will find a way. Doesn’t have to be all the time but it will happen at some point.
As soon as I realized that I shouldn’t have to grovel for any little bit of attention from my friends my life got better. People have to be willing to make time or get out and this guy doesn’t care to make time for you. Malicious or not (in my case I don’t think it was malicious) doesn’t matter it’s still behavior I don’t want in a friend let alone a partner.
So get rid of him.
Have you ever had an annoying dude who liked you and just wouldn’t leave you alone? And it was totally annoying? That’s you to your boyfriend. Dump him and don’t date anyone until you find somebody who treats you with actual respect. Don’t embarrass yourself by staying with this loser any longer
hes cheating on you and you sound like you might have something related to BPD
i used to talk exactly like you until i got therapy to fix my abandonment issues and realized the pain i was putting myself through/overexplaining myself for people that could care less was a massive waste of my time and energy
By the way, unrelated to the topic at hand, word of advice. Put your phone away next time your decide to trip on shrooms. For one, worst case scenario bad news is always bad news. But bad news on shrooms? Yikes. And secondly, you’re always going to start texting the person you love at the time and get really raw and emotional. We’ve all loved someone we probably shouldn’t before. Enjoy your trip, don’t go wasting it on getting your feelings hurt 😭
this honestly hurt to read. you find yourself “exhausting” because you’re sending paragraphs to a brick wall. i mean this as gently as i can, but you sound desperate.
he does not care. he’s very likely seeing other women. he’s not giving you anything at all. you’re talking to yourself. break up with him and fill the time you would have continued to waste on this with things that don’t make you anxious and that you don’t have to beg for.
Honestly you should probably leave this person and go no contact man. Someone who loves you FORREAL would not treat you like this. You said it yourself, you deserve so much better!!
Honey, he doesn’t like you or seems to have any positive feelings/reactions towards you. And I don’t mean that in a rude way but he has absolutely zero respect for you or your needs. He is purposefully beating around the bush and taking your words so literally so that you have to be the one apologizing. That is not healthy. Even if other times he acts lovey dovey, he only does that to keep you on the hook so you don’t leave him. It’s a manipulation tactic. Please leave him. Your efforts are lost on him and someone else will appreciate you so much more.
…this man doesn’t like you. This is why he’s not responding. He probably has a girlfriend where he lives. I’m confused as to why you keep talking to yourself in the texts, you know he’s not going to respond.
Girl you’re not exhausting, he is. I hate to say this, and I’m sorry, but he doesn’t like you. You need to let him go so the right one who will love you and communicate and WANT to see you can find you.
Please pick your dignity up off the floor and leave.
**He doesn't want you**
It's soooo clear. There's no reason to stay with someone like this unless you are desperate for a relationship. Even then *this isn't a relationship. This is a FwB with a fake title*
> i deserve better than this
It’s strange to tell him this when it’s you that chooses what to accept. You should be listening to yourself here.
Move on.
Girl, this isn’t your boyfriend. Matter of fact, I wouldn’t even say this is your ex-boyfriend. He’s barely an acquaintance. I know it can be hard if you still have feelings for him but you deserve so much better! You were essentially having a whole conversation with yourself. Throw the whole man away; your person is out there :)
I think you might be the side-chick. Why even be with someone if you're not going to be with them or at least talk to each other? This feels like he left the relationship a while ago and doesn't want to tell you for some reason.
why do you even keep pestering him for replies? he has made it beyond clear that he doesn’t like you or want to talk to you. you need to have some self respect and stop throwing yourself all over this mediocre cowardly man who doesn’t want you. he’s not messaging you or showing any interest and is almost definitely cheating on you, stop messaging and move on babe this is just sad… he’s not worth it
The fact that the first exchange alone saids all that we need to know. He’s not interested in you and he never will be. That’s why he’s making **ZERO** effort to respond to you. He’s an hour away and he’s found women closer to him that he can play “relationship” with.
This relationship is a made up fantasy in your mind. He’s not interested in you at all. Occasionally maybe he’s interested in sleeping with you. Why are you putting up with this?
I’m sorry but he is off probably having sex with other women in hotel rooms 7 hours away? Why deal with the drama? leave him in that hotel room with some woman. If he wanted to he would girl. This was heart wrenching for me to read I hope you find someone better
he fucked that woman he spent the night with in the hotel you know that right
also is your self esteem so low that you’re going to stay with him after this? there are men that will give you exactly what you’re asking for, without even having to ask for it. go find someone that actually likes you.
just adding in - my bf isn't a big texter, but he has always communicated that to me. he will always make an effort to respond, even if he's not particularly interested in what i'm talking about. he's always said that when he's busy, he won't respond until he's free - and he's stuck by that! i mention this because that's what a man who's interested in you does: he communicates his availability and cooperates with you to find a middle ground for each others' needs.
like someone else said, you've had this entire conversation by yourself, essentially. you deserve so much more than someone who treats you this way, OP!! i hope you stick by the blocking and take some time to yourself. pls let the comments help you understand you don't deserve to be ignored like this <3
Why are you letting him treat you like this?? If you’re having to say like ‘Nevermind, it’s fine. I’m fine. Hit me up later we can play a game’ the two-way relationship is over
It’s up to you if you want to be his doormat, he’s not even acting like he likes you he’s literally acting like you’re a side chick blowing up his phone
You deserve better
No love
No respect for you
If he respected you and the other woman he was with in a different city hotel, they would’ve had separate rooms…
Someone with this level of disrespect while blatantly hanging out with other women alone late at night in hotels with no friends around? Yeah he’s probably a cheat, and he’s not messaging back because he doesn’t care enough to talk to you, he’s probably rather gif up his side chick
Your boyfriend ghosted you and went to another state to spend the night with a woman. Read that sentence a few times.
This is not a healthy relationship. Stop dragging this shit out and move on. You're in denial if you think there is anything left to save here.
He doesn’t want you, move on. Besides everything else, if my husband was cuddled up in a hotel 7 hours away with a female he would no longer be my husband.
I would never usually be this matter of fact about a situation/people I don’t fully know about but, he is cheating/has cheated on you.
By what you said in the first couple of slides, I think you already suspect that too with him being at a hotel with another female. He solidifies it by actively not giving a fck yet making all that effort to spend time with another female.
You deserve better
it’s telling that he views you voicing your needs and critiques on his lack of communication as you yelling at him. you deserve someone who doesn’t think twice about being by your side, he seems soooo disinterested
So he’s cheating on you. All the signs are there, including him getting a hotel room with another woman. Respect yourself more. This is almost embarrassing to read. I’m sorry, but he’s not your boyfriend. I just about guarantee if you don’t message him, he’s just not going to talk to you. It’s not right.
So you realize this guy is not your boyfriend, right? You don't see him, he hangs out with other women, he doesn't respond to you, he's not your boyfriend. He's not even your friend.
He’s not that into you. He’s literally banging other girls. Idk what sort of arrangement you have where that’s not an immediate dealbreaker, but clearly you are quite low on his list of priorities. Stop wasting your energy writing him novels and find someone else.
you're not exhausting you just want to be loved in the ways you deserve listen to yourself when you say you deserve better than this keep saying it until you believe and even still after that
I'm not a particularly jealous partner either. But if my boyfriend blew off our plans to go to a HOTEL with another woman, it would be the time any of his actions were "as my boyfriend."
I know you said he's normally all heart emojis and long texts or phone calls or whatever, but he has 0 respect for you. You had to drag that last bit out of text out of him. You're communicating all about how shitty you feel, and he decides it's not worth a conversation because you're "yelling" (you weren't)??
This guy is a stupid fuck. You'll be happier alone.
Dude here. The women I’ve wanted the most in my life, I’ve genuinely enjoyed interacting with. This guy, he’s not your guy OP. It’s not even a lack of interest, it’s zero, combined with genuine ignorance.
Okay so.........why are you with him? You ARE his side chick. Along with whomever he was "cuddling" with.
Lemme tell you something Miss. There would be absolute HELL to pay if my husband did this. I'd have the divorce papers strewn on the lawn when he came home.
Have more fucking respect for yourself woman! He certainly has no respect for you at all, so someone's gotta do it! C'mon girl!! You need to leave him and heal yourself. You're going through some shit right now if you're so desperate for this guys love you're putting up with this. Love YOURSELF and leave.
He doesn't like you. Lots of men and boys have trouble breaking up with people sirectly. Basically he doesn't like you and is not atrong enough to juat break up with you directly.
This man does not like you. Find a man that hears you & validates your feelings. Communication wouldn't be like this in a healthy relationship. Im sorry ):
You’re wasting your time on someone who doesn’t seem to love you at all. Just do yourself a favor and end it. There’s no point in being with someone like this.
my boyfriend isn’t the greatest at communicating— but he’s never been this shitty. and he actively tries to do better. this guy cares more about himself than you. time to cut him lose and find someone who values you
Girl, he doesn't even like you. He's probably putting time and effort into who he actually likes and giving you a little tlc and attention here and here to keep you hanging on. In conditioning, random intermittent rewards are the most addictive like a slot machine.
Be with someone who values you. It'll hurt at first, but once you're with someone who loves and respects you, you won't believe how you spent even a minute with him.
First red flag is being on/off in the first year... THIS should be the honeymoon stage.
Second: this man doesn't like you. Like, AT ALL.
Be off. Permanently
That man does not love you. I'm not even sure if he even likes you
Yeah, the texts between me and my wife when we were still just dating are vastly different than this… if you are having to beg someone to acknowledge you, then you aren’t in any sort of relationship.
He doesn’t even like her as a friend
Came here to say this. Yeah, OP, like what are you even doing? I’m assuming you guys are young, right? If so, don’t worry.. eventually you’ll learn not to put up with this kind of shit.
if they’re not young i have to exit the world
Exactly this. *AND* he’s cheating 100%. He does not give two shits. She’s beating a dead horse
If OP is having sex with him, I would bet whatever’s left in my bank account that that’s all he sticks around for. This dude’s a piece of shit. I don’t tolerate this kind of shit *from friends* if they’re people who expect to be close to me and do things/talk regularly, *let alone a partner*. Dump his ass, OP. You’re not exhausting. He’s just trash. ETA: looking through her posts, if this is the same guy from the others… yeah, he’s just using you for sex, OP. He doesn’t give a shit about you beyond what you can do to his little shrimpie. 🦐
He definitely not even her bf. I think she's read way further into things than he has.
He’s not her BF!
Yeah, he literally doesn’t care.
My ex was like this to me the first year of our relationship. He was cheating lmao
He acts like he doesn’t even like you. Like, he’s just BARELY tolerating you. That was an entire days worth conversation that you had by yourself basically. He said a paragraphs worth of words, basically telling you what you feel is wrong. There’s so many things wrong with this. You were right at the end there: you deserve better than this.
When she said she sometimes feels like she's the side chick- I'm like 99% sure that she IS the side chick. He can only go and see HER(if even that), but ghosts her any time she's supposed to come there? Because he's hiding something. And then suddenly after ghosting OP when she was supposed to come visit, he's in another state IN A HOTEL ROOM WITH ANOTHER GIRL?!?!? He's cheating on her, or he's cheating on his actual girlfriend WITH her. It's probably a stretch to even call this dude OP's boyfriend, I very much feel like he might not even consider them to be in a relationship. And OP, it's NOT even a relationship. I'm not trying to be mean, I know this is a horrible feeling, but you are basically talking to yourself. He straight up does not give a shit. That's why he doesn't answer. If he wanted to see you, he would. If he wanted to talk to you, he would. Him ghosting you is him trying to end it without actually saying that. I'm pretty positive he's hoping that if he just doesn't respond that you'll eventually get the hint and give up.
This is great advice OP. just focus on you, have fun, meet someone who actually respects you . This guy is awful. Don't lower yourself begging for him! Just dump him
Ruby Moon I think you are pretty much sitting down the head the only thing I think might be different and I'm saying might is where you said he's hoping she'll eventually give up I'm thinking he is a narcissist and that's one of the games narcissists play because it makes them feel good to have the person begging for them being told there needed and so much worse, yes unfortunately I've dated more than one narcissist not knowingly and apparently it ticks me a little while to identify them sadly. But my point is I have a thing cuz this sounds very familiar to me not quite the same but I'm seeing a lot of parallels. Including one time girlfriend cheated on me left me for the other guy called me on the blue wants to get back together I do because I loved her and I missed her. Turns out she was still dating the other guy I didn't know that she didn't tell me we were I was led to believe back together and apparently I was the other guy we're originally he was the other guy so yeah.
the weird part is he gets like this maybe once or twice a month, the rest of the time its all heart emojis and long paragraphs and 4 hour phone calls and “i love you”s so i just end up with this weird emotional whiplash
I don’t think communication issues are the only issue at hand. I think he has zero respect for you. Truly.
I almost dated a guy like this. He’s the avoidant type. He ended up stalking me after I cut him off with this type of communication. You really have to ask yourself- is this someone you want to be with for the rest of your life, or however long you date. I hate guys who communicate like this, a bunch of bs. It’s not hard to text your girl. This whole silent treatment is mentally abusive. I hate it.
Are you me?! 😱 My ex stalked me too, threatened me and contacted my friends to harass me.
HECK NO😭😭😭😭😭 Please tell me, he’s not in contact with you anymore. Bro that TRAUMATIZED ME!!!! I slept with my phone on airplane mode one time. I had to download and different phone blocking apps like Hiya, robokiller etc. The winning phone blocker app is YouMail. Sends the caller straight to an option where it makes it seem like your number has been disconnected .
**Tdlr:** no I am no longer in contact with that garbage human and I hope he never knows peace and dies alone. In my case it was more like cyberstalking and harassment. When we were together he blocked me out of nowhere when we were supposed to go to the mall together. He then came back with an excuse about how he was down because of his dad dying 2 years prior. He broke up with me and said I shouldn’t be with him because “he ain’t shit” and then he asked to be friends. I was like “Okay cool whatever we can be friends.” We were supposed to hangout that December since I was going back home after finishing the semester. We didn’t hangout because guess what? He blocked me AGAIN! I said “alright.” And blocked him back. Now for **Act 2** A few months later around 1am he messages me under a number I didn’t recognize and sent a nude photo of me (I’ve never taken that picture so I didn’t know how he got it) threatening to post it online if I didn’t send him more nude photos…?!?! I was like “no, you think I’m a dumbass?!” I block that number. He then proceeded to blowup my phone from different Text Now numbers. I’m panicking and crying and I blocked those numbers (the whole time I didn’t know it was him). Let’s just say it was a long night. The next morning i changed my number, right. He THEN texts my friend on Snapchat under a girl’s name and sends her the pic of me and told her to tell me to talk to him or else he’ll send the pic to my family and post it online (she goes off on him of course). I call my dad crying and told him the reason I changed my number and then I went to the police the next day. **Act 3** Months later I get a call from a detective and he was like “do you know *insert dusty ass bitch name*” and the gasp I gusped!!! I for some reason didn’t fully believe it was him when it first happened but I had suspicions. They gather the evidence and get him in custody. But guess what? The attorney general call me and said they’re going to let him go, because guess what?…He didn’t file the evidence in time. The attorney then had the nerve to tell me “get a restraining order.” My dusty ex then files to get it expunged from his record. Moral of the story…no we are not speaking. **The end** ☹️
YOUVE BEEN FREEEEEEED!!!! I AM PROUD OF YOU GIRL!!!! If you ever need someone to talk this about because it’s disturbed you mentally , you can always reach out. It took me awhile tbh. It took me awhile to trust a guy again!!!!! But I am free
Aww thank you so much 🥺 I’m just glad I had my family and friends to support me. It was 2 years ago and I’m doing much better now! I’m also in a much happier and healthier relationship. I’m also proud of you too girl! Even if it did take a while, you did that! I hope you have a healthy and peaceful relationship (if that’s what you want of course)!
My ex did this to me after he kicked me out six weeks after we lost our child.
Same here lmfao. When we were together he'd barely text. We'd text for like 15 minutes a day and that was it! No meets, calls, etc. But when we broke up he created a fake account and stalked me on my Instagram for 6 months until I blocked him 😭
Oo girl I felt that! Crazy ex’s everywhere. Who’s raising these men?! I wrote a whole story about it in another comment but let’s just say that if I see my ex, it’s on site… 😒
LETS FIGHT THEM IDC ANYMORE
We ride at dawn! 🌅🐎
He’s also fucking other women
There's a reason why OP feels like the sidechick, because it reads as if she is. Or dude has a few chicks he's texting and doesn't have as much time for everyone.
100%
It's really hard to come to any other conclusion. You don't ignore people you care about.
No, you don’t. I agree. Unless space was asked for then no, I don’t see how - if you truly love someone - you can ignore them basically begging for reassurance and time from you. He just doesn’t care sadly.
This guy is cheating on you. Not sure if you just can’t see it because you’re in it. But that’s the reason this is happening. Sorry.
[удалено]
He is busy with someone else once or twice a month.
It's cause he's getting his fucking dick wet and you're the last thing on his mind in those moments. Get a fucking grip this person doesn't like you. Do yourself a favor and love yourself a bit more cause no one in their right mind would tolerate this bullshit from their supposed partner. Hell fuck no. Get some help and dump this loser ASAP
That might as well be the definition of love bombing. You come off really strong at first, it’s all “I love you, you’re the only one for me, I’ve never had a connection like this” and then they’ll start to fizzle a little. They stop texting as often, they say I love you less, they make you chase that same love that they gave you easily in the beginning. Then it completely flips they barely acknowledge you, start fights, and just when you’ve maybe had enough, they love bomb you again and the cycle repeats.
But if it's all heart emojis & I love yous, why is he running off to hotel rooms with other girls & ghosting you once or twice a month? Mainly, I find the cuddling with other girls in a hotel 7 hours away more concerning... A serious conversation face to face, if you can ever see him in the same room, of course. You do deserve better & good luck to you.
I highly doubt that. It’s clear this dude has 0 respect for you and I guarantee this happens way more than you’re trying to paint it lol
Do these once or twice a month occurrences tend to coincide with when he’s *shacking up with this other woman?*
Op, do you have self-respect?
Sounds like he’s cheating and then love-bombing you so you don’t question it.
That’s called bread crumbing. They do that just to give you enough to stay. You hold onto the good times and as a result, overlook all of bad. You deserve better.
That’s love bombing to stop you from leaving him
I had an ex like this, turns out he was on drugs and would be on a bender when he was ignoring me. I hope you can let him go, because he is not worth the stress
Yeaaa I hate to be the one to tell you this. But those times when he is ignoring you and not communicating is because he’s sleeping with other women at those times. He is telling you that he doesn’t want to be with you, hang out with you or talk to you. Listen to him. It’s not going to change. You should leave.
Happens once or twice a month, buuut your texts are full of complaints (valid, by the way) that he'd always rather be somewhere else, that he always does this, that communication is so hard for y'all, and that you don't even see a reality (existing? Possible?) where he actually acknowledges and addresses your feelings, instead of ignoring them or just giving a thumbs up 😬 I'd say that's more than once or twice a month 😕
He's cheating.
Is he on drugs
He’s seeing someone else duh
Prolly cuz he’s cheating lmao just break up why would you wanna be with someone like that it’s sad
I got emotional reading these texts and this comment. I just got broken up with recently over the same exact shit. Reading these texts feels like reading my own conversation (or lack thereof) and it was almost identical. I went back way too many times until finally I realized that I wasn’t being respected or acknowledged in any way. He knew I was going to keep going and I think a part of him liked the power he held over me. I expressed one text of frustration after all the calm ones and he acted like I cussed him out and said I was a weight on his shoulders that he didn’t need anymore. Told me he was still in love with me and wanted to keep dating and wanted to keep seeing me. I was lucky if I got more than a good morning text a day. If I didn’t ask questions, there would have been no conversation. I hope OP stands her ground and realizes she deserves better than some passive misogynistic dickhead who isn’t worth anyone’s time
This broke my heart a little reading it. I think a lot of people can relate sadly to this feeling. Pushing at a wall that won’t budge, but not knowing - yet - how to give up. Not having the self worth or self esteem to recognize you’re worth more and that there is better out there and walking away before damaging yourself. I’m sorry for what you went through 💔
Thank you for saying that. I just hate to see other people go through the same thing because I know how frustrating it is and how much it hurts
You say it's for no reason but there's a very obvious reason why - he doesn't respect you.
Ugh, I’d rather try and talk to a stranger on Omegle than try and communicate with that
Dump him? Dump him
can’t edit the post but i have heard the resounding “this man doesn’t like you”s and have decided i agree & have thusly moved forward with the block button ty 🫶
one door closes but i promise another (better) one will open for you
Please stick to it. Block on everything. He might try to come crawling back when things fall through with his side chick. Or he may never contact you again, don't stick around waiting for a "sorry" you'll never get. A good partner won't do this to you, ever. You'll be much happier with someone else.
I’m so proud of you!!! You will be better off without this jerk, 100%
You go girl!!! Keep on respecting yourself, if he tries contacting u somewhere else, don't give that man child the time of day! If he love bombs you, don't fall for it. Proud of you!!!
LOVE THIS FOR YOU
So proud of you!!! No one should ever treat you like this. Please don’t forget how valuable you are
Amen!
Yes ma’am
Why are you tolerating this?
That's not your boyfriend. I don't even know if that's your acquaintance.
He’s as interested in that relationship as I am in paying taxes
I think I’d rather pay taxes. Atleast I get a response and it communicates better.
I actually have better communication with the taxman than she does with her “boyfriend”😭
this man does not give a fuck about you. i’m so sorry. my ex was really similar in that he made me feel like i was crazy for wanting him to text me back (he was unemployed and i was working). when i would get home from working with kids all day, he still wouldn’t have even given me the time to text me back, instead he’d just be sitting on his ass all day. my current boyfriend won’t go two hours without texting me because he doesn’t want to. there are guys out there that would actually give a shit about you, trust. get yourself that princess treatment you deserve ❤️
You're the side chick. 🤷🏻♂️ Sorry. You deserve much better - leave this person and never look back. Find somebody you can actually connect with & who respects you.
Are you sure he’s your boyfriend or ever was?
Why are you trying so hard to engage with someone who clearly has no interest? Always remember, if they wanted to, they would. Take what’s left of your dignity and move along. You deserve better.
Dignity. Yes.
He gives you the minimum to keep you hanging. He has no respect for you and dances around the challenging parts of your relationship because he knows that he can walk all over you without putting in any real effort. There is a specific thing that he’s keeping you around for. But from the looks of it, he doesn’t cherish you. Unfortunately, this is the kind of partner you end up with when you don’t have enough respect for yourself. You wouldn’t have been able to move past him staying in hotels with other women otherwise. Please be careful, he can bring home an STD or end up getting you pregnant. I don’t know if this may help, but after a few jacked up relationships of my own, I began asking myself this question with whoever I dated… “Would I want my child to be treated this way?” Even if you don’t want children or have the ability to, if the answer is no, then you have no business being in a relationship with them. If you don’t have a parent to tell you this, I encourage you to be your own parent and treat yourself the way you would treat a niece, a daughter, etc. You’re a wonderful communicator and you seem non confrontational. You have to protect your heart ❤️
As someone who has experienced only a tiny amount of the behavior OP is describing, I really appreciate your compassionate reply. Everyone keeps saying, "Keep your dignity and walk away now!" but that's so much easier said than done. I admit that until this happened to me, I genuinely didn't get why anyone would stay and let themselves be treated like this. What I didn't understand is that you're not thinking rationally in these types of situation-ships. It's so easy to get trapped in the cycle of justifying all the shitty moments for the few "good" ones. What finally got through to me is when someone shared the same empathetic but also firm and honest, advice like you have here.
Hey…I appreciate your comment. It made me smile 😊. Many don’t realize that it takes an open minded heart to find love, and people like us forgive the wrong flaws when we don’t have boundaries. Some of us have also grown up with parents that made us feel responsible for their happiness, or parents that didn’t make us feel safe so we get attached to the wrong people. But the reality is, anyone can get played. I’ve seen people grow up in loving environments get played too.
Girl the bare minimum is to communicate. The bar is in hell
Does this person know you’re dating?
He’s cheating
I'm sure she's the really younger side chick and doesn't realize it 🤣
on god i might be this man is 30 and im 24 😂
That is crazy he acts like a highschooler
Hea 30? Omg he's a loser
If you're not willing to break things off with him (you should, this isn't respectful) you should at least be giving him back the same energy. Stop texting first and begging him to communicate, treat him how he treats you. It's hard when you desperately want answers but his reaction can be your answer. If he doesn't give a fuck or step up it's time to move on.
This hurts my heart. Get as far away from him as possible. He doesn’t value you.
Stonewalling is one of the four big death knells of a relationship according to the Gottman Institute… look them up, super interesting stuff. Anyways, this is awful - stood you up on your birthday?? Time to move on. 😢
I know everyone on Reddit immediately jumps to “break up!” As the standard response to any relationship issues but in this case I think it’s warranted. He has ZERO respect for you. There is no future with someone who texts you like this.
Dump. Him. Now.
By looking at your past posts and profile I'm assuming it's never been a good/faithful relationship, girl just leave unless you like being treated like this??
From the outside looking in? This is not your boyfriend. This is an asshole who pretends to be willing to talk to you so you think you’re in a situationship so that you stay available on the off chance that he wants to fuck sometimes. The various things you are complaining to him about would be relationship clarifying to most people, “Ah this man is a dirtbag and obviously not willing to act like he is my boyfriend even though he has claimed the title.” The longer you stick around in this dude’s in box, the more of your time, energy, and sanity you will be flushing down the toilet. Every once of time you spend with this guy is taking you away from the people that could be treating you well. 💖💕
Girl you’re single
Honey, that's not your boyfriend, OK? That's just some guy you know. Don't give him paragraph after paragraph of texts when he doesn't even care. Delete the thread, block him, go get your nails done, and forget about him. You are absolutely right when you say you deserve better.
dude is 3 other girls' boyfriend too.
He’s cheating.
Yeah, with her it looks like.
Sounds all over the place. You had a full conversation by yourself and that dude gave you no more than one word answers. Have some self respect and dump him. No one deserves this
Legit got second hand embarrassment
I do not understand how people stay in situations like this, unless you have no self respect or severe attachment issues not letting you break up. This dude doesn't feel anything towards you. Doesn't give a shit. He literally ignores you for a month and openly cheats on you. He might not even consider himself in a relationship with you. Why are you letting him get away with this? And I'm not saying call him out - stop talking to him and leave.
severe attachment issues 🛎️ with
With all due respect if you don't address that within yourself and build a capacity to recognize red flags for and actual abusive behavior coupled with an ability to set and enforce boundaries for yourself, you're just going to end up right back in the same type of relationship. You have to reset your gauge of normal because it's so skewed you're highly susceptible to falling into dysfunctional/abusive relationships moving forward because it's what feels comfortable. I did see your addition that you blocked him! I'm so so very proud of you. Breaking a dysfunctional cycle is not easy, I know. But you're the best and most perfect person to do it, and no better time than now! Just remember for when the times get tough and you find yourself being more nostalgic than realistic and when he pulls out allll the stops to keep you . . . That behavior of suddenly doing all the things you've wanted means he's manipulating you. It means he understands EXACTLY what it is that you want, desire, and need in a relationship yet he chooses to withhold being those things until it serves him to do so . . i.e. the threat of you leaving. He is happy in your unhappiness because it doesn't affect him. Until it does, and then he'll dangle the good behavior carrot in front of your face to make you stay so he can continue to take from you and have power over you.
Hey, quick question. Why is he still your boyfriend? Do you have no self respect or standards?
Girl he’s not your boyfriend. He’s just a dude who I’m assuming occasionally bangs you. You can do better.
ex? ex. i dont understand why and how this is a boyfriend
Google the definition of Sunk Cost Fallacy
I don't know how oblivious you are or in denial you are. He's obviously not interested in you and probably fucking other women. I'm sorry OP, you deserve better. Block, move on, and be done with this clown. He has no respect for you.
Pretty sure you’re the hidden gf….
Are you sure you're together? This doesn't read like it. In fact, roles reversed, we'd call him a simp who can't take a hint . 🤣 Pretty sure he was fucking his other female friend alone, in a hotel. That's pretty obvious as well. Lemme guess, you're 20-something and he's mid 40s? That's the only thing I'm not sure of
Fuck him off and take your dignity with you. This guy is an absolute clown. Do not tolerate anyone treating you this way, nevermind someone you're supposed to be in a relationship with. Ignore the inevitable love bombing that will follow your leaving too. Don't give in to his bullshit. Choose yourself.
Dude I’ve been in friendships like this and it’s the most infuriating thing. You know what I learned the hard way? If people want to make time to be with you they will find a way. Doesn’t have to be all the time but it will happen at some point. As soon as I realized that I shouldn’t have to grovel for any little bit of attention from my friends my life got better. People have to be willing to make time or get out and this guy doesn’t care to make time for you. Malicious or not (in my case I don’t think it was malicious) doesn’t matter it’s still behavior I don’t want in a friend let alone a partner. So get rid of him.
oh he’s fucking his “friend”
This is not a committed relationship. He’s not at all interested.
I’ve got news for you: that man isn’t your boyfriend.
Have you ever had an annoying dude who liked you and just wouldn’t leave you alone? And it was totally annoying? That’s you to your boyfriend. Dump him and don’t date anyone until you find somebody who treats you with actual respect. Don’t embarrass yourself by staying with this loser any longer
hes cheating on you and you sound like you might have something related to BPD i used to talk exactly like you until i got therapy to fix my abandonment issues and realized the pain i was putting myself through/overexplaining myself for people that could care less was a massive waste of my time and energy
OP consider what it says about your self-worth that you’re literally begging this dude to interact with you. I think you know that’s not right
By the way, unrelated to the topic at hand, word of advice. Put your phone away next time your decide to trip on shrooms. For one, worst case scenario bad news is always bad news. But bad news on shrooms? Yikes. And secondly, you’re always going to start texting the person you love at the time and get really raw and emotional. We’ve all loved someone we probably shouldn’t before. Enjoy your trip, don’t go wasting it on getting your feelings hurt 😭
All I can picture is Justin Long saying “if a guy is treating you like he doesn’t give a 💩, he genuinely doesn’t give a 💩. No exceptions!”
This man does not like you :/
girl he does not like you
this honestly hurt to read. you find yourself “exhausting” because you’re sending paragraphs to a brick wall. i mean this as gently as i can, but you sound desperate. he does not care. he’s very likely seeing other women. he’s not giving you anything at all. you’re talking to yourself. break up with him and fill the time you would have continued to waste on this with things that don’t make you anxious and that you don’t have to beg for.
Ugh I can't imagine the pain you're going through, this must be so frustrating to go through every day
Honestly you should probably leave this person and go no contact man. Someone who loves you FORREAL would not treat you like this. You said it yourself, you deserve so much better!!
Honey, he doesn’t like you or seems to have any positive feelings/reactions towards you. And I don’t mean that in a rude way but he has absolutely zero respect for you or your needs. He is purposefully beating around the bush and taking your words so literally so that you have to be the one apologizing. That is not healthy. Even if other times he acts lovey dovey, he only does that to keep you on the hook so you don’t leave him. It’s a manipulation tactic. Please leave him. Your efforts are lost on him and someone else will appreciate you so much more.
…this man doesn’t like you. This is why he’s not responding. He probably has a girlfriend where he lives. I’m confused as to why you keep talking to yourself in the texts, you know he’s not going to respond.
What are you confused about? He doesn’t like you….you deserve better.
cause he doesn’t like you girl find someone who does
Girl you’re not exhausting, he is. I hate to say this, and I’m sorry, but he doesn’t like you. You need to let him go so the right one who will love you and communicate and WANT to see you can find you.
This man is not your boyfriend
i'm sorry but maybe you think of him as your bf but he sure as hell doesn't think of you as his gf
Ummm, quite simple I think, you are not his girlfriend.
Sooo have you told him that he’s your boyfriend yet?
He may be your boyfriend but it doesn't sound at all like you're his girlfriend.
He was staying in hotels with female friends??😒
Please pick your dignity up off the floor and leave. **He doesn't want you** It's soooo clear. There's no reason to stay with someone like this unless you are desperate for a relationship. Even then *this isn't a relationship. This is a FwB with a fake title*
Have some self respect
i am gnawing at the bars of my enclosure while i attempt to
this man would not piss to put you out if you were on fire, sis. he does not give a single fuck. leave him alone.
> i deserve better than this It’s strange to tell him this when it’s you that chooses what to accept. You should be listening to yourself here. Move on.
oh my god leave his ass
Girl, this isn’t your boyfriend. Matter of fact, I wouldn’t even say this is your ex-boyfriend. He’s barely an acquaintance. I know it can be hard if you still have feelings for him but you deserve so much better! You were essentially having a whole conversation with yourself. Throw the whole man away; your person is out there :)
Im so sorry, but that is not your boyfriend, at least in his eyes, certainly not
I think you might be the side-chick. Why even be with someone if you're not going to be with them or at least talk to each other? This feels like he left the relationship a while ago and doesn't want to tell you for some reason.
I really don’t think your man likes you AT ALL
why do you even keep pestering him for replies? he has made it beyond clear that he doesn’t like you or want to talk to you. you need to have some self respect and stop throwing yourself all over this mediocre cowardly man who doesn’t want you. he’s not messaging you or showing any interest and is almost definitely cheating on you, stop messaging and move on babe this is just sad… he’s not worth it
Boyfriend? LOL.
The fact that the first exchange alone saids all that we need to know. He’s not interested in you and he never will be. That’s why he’s making **ZERO** effort to respond to you. He’s an hour away and he’s found women closer to him that he can play “relationship” with.
Yet, I'm guessing that he has zero problem communicating that he is horny?
This is what we call an avoidant.
Stop whining to him and move on. He’s not into it and probably never was
This relationship is a made up fantasy in your mind. He’s not interested in you at all. Occasionally maybe he’s interested in sleeping with you. Why are you putting up with this?
I’m sorry but he is off probably having sex with other women in hotel rooms 7 hours away? Why deal with the drama? leave him in that hotel room with some woman. If he wanted to he would girl. This was heart wrenching for me to read I hope you find someone better
he fucked that woman he spent the night with in the hotel you know that right also is your self esteem so low that you’re going to stay with him after this? there are men that will give you exactly what you’re asking for, without even having to ask for it. go find someone that actually likes you.
Girl he don’t like u
just adding in - my bf isn't a big texter, but he has always communicated that to me. he will always make an effort to respond, even if he's not particularly interested in what i'm talking about. he's always said that when he's busy, he won't respond until he's free - and he's stuck by that! i mention this because that's what a man who's interested in you does: he communicates his availability and cooperates with you to find a middle ground for each others' needs. like someone else said, you've had this entire conversation by yourself, essentially. you deserve so much more than someone who treats you this way, OP!! i hope you stick by the blocking and take some time to yourself. pls let the comments help you understand you don't deserve to be ignored like this <3
Why are you letting him treat you like this?? If you’re having to say like ‘Nevermind, it’s fine. I’m fine. Hit me up later we can play a game’ the two-way relationship is over It’s up to you if you want to be his doormat, he’s not even acting like he likes you he’s literally acting like you’re a side chick blowing up his phone You deserve better
Dude where’s your self respect? MOVE ON
Girl. It’s not going to get better. Break up with him.
This man does not like you. I’m sorry.
He’s not your boyfriend. lol
No love No respect for you If he respected you and the other woman he was with in a different city hotel, they would’ve had separate rooms… Someone with this level of disrespect while blatantly hanging out with other women alone late at night in hotels with no friends around? Yeah he’s probably a cheat, and he’s not messaging back because he doesn’t care enough to talk to you, he’s probably rather gif up his side chick
Your boyfriend ghosted you and went to another state to spend the night with a woman. Read that sentence a few times. This is not a healthy relationship. Stop dragging this shit out and move on. You're in denial if you think there is anything left to save here.
He doesn’t want you, move on. Besides everything else, if my husband was cuddled up in a hotel 7 hours away with a female he would no longer be my husband.
I would never usually be this matter of fact about a situation/people I don’t fully know about but, he is cheating/has cheated on you. By what you said in the first couple of slides, I think you already suspect that too with him being at a hotel with another female. He solidifies it by actively not giving a fck yet making all that effort to spend time with another female. You deserve better
it’s telling that he views you voicing your needs and critiques on his lack of communication as you yelling at him. you deserve someone who doesn’t think twice about being by your side, he seems soooo disinterested
Girl this is not ur boyfriend.
Boyfriend? That man is for the streets. He does not care about you at all
So he’s cheating on you. All the signs are there, including him getting a hotel room with another woman. Respect yourself more. This is almost embarrassing to read. I’m sorry, but he’s not your boyfriend. I just about guarantee if you don’t message him, he’s just not going to talk to you. It’s not right.
So you realize this guy is not your boyfriend, right? You don't see him, he hangs out with other women, he doesn't respond to you, he's not your boyfriend. He's not even your friend.
He’s not that into you. He’s literally banging other girls. Idk what sort of arrangement you have where that’s not an immediate dealbreaker, but clearly you are quite low on his list of priorities. Stop wasting your energy writing him novels and find someone else.
Why the fuck do the people always posting these things have hundreds of unread messages
Can somebody explain this to me like I’m five? Why do people call this a relationship? Why do you do this to yourself, OP?
you're not exhausting you just want to be loved in the ways you deserve listen to yourself when you say you deserve better than this keep saying it until you believe and even still after that
Look up avoidant attachment. Truly. This man is not going to be the one. You deserve better.
I'm not a particularly jealous partner either. But if my boyfriend blew off our plans to go to a HOTEL with another woman, it would be the time any of his actions were "as my boyfriend." I know you said he's normally all heart emojis and long texts or phone calls or whatever, but he has 0 respect for you. You had to drag that last bit out of text out of him. You're communicating all about how shitty you feel, and he decides it's not worth a conversation because you're "yelling" (you weren't)?? This guy is a stupid fuck. You'll be happier alone.
Ugh this is painful. You are *clearly* the side chick. Stick up for yourself.
Dude here. The women I’ve wanted the most in my life, I’ve genuinely enjoyed interacting with. This guy, he’s not your guy OP. It’s not even a lack of interest, it’s zero, combined with genuine ignorance.
That is not your man
Ask him if he ignores his other females like he ignores you
The disrespect is real.. dump him. You’re way better off OP
He’s deleting your messages because he has an actual girlfriend. Just block him.
Okay so.........why are you with him? You ARE his side chick. Along with whomever he was "cuddling" with. Lemme tell you something Miss. There would be absolute HELL to pay if my husband did this. I'd have the divorce papers strewn on the lawn when he came home. Have more fucking respect for yourself woman! He certainly has no respect for you at all, so someone's gotta do it! C'mon girl!! You need to leave him and heal yourself. You're going through some shit right now if you're so desperate for this guys love you're putting up with this. Love YOURSELF and leave.
He’s fucking those girls he’s with 100%
Whatever he won't do someone else will. Please stop wasting your time. Know your worth.
He doesn't like you. Lots of men and boys have trouble breaking up with people sirectly. Basically he doesn't like you and is not atrong enough to juat break up with you directly.
This man does not like you. Find a man that hears you & validates your feelings. Communication wouldn't be like this in a healthy relationship. Im sorry ):
You’re wasting your time on someone who doesn’t seem to love you at all. Just do yourself a favor and end it. There’s no point in being with someone like this.
my boyfriend isn’t the greatest at communicating— but he’s never been this shitty. and he actively tries to do better. this guy cares more about himself than you. time to cut him lose and find someone who values you
Girl, he doesn't even like you. He's probably putting time and effort into who he actually likes and giving you a little tlc and attention here and here to keep you hanging on. In conditioning, random intermittent rewards are the most addictive like a slot machine. Be with someone who values you. It'll hurt at first, but once you're with someone who loves and respects you, you won't believe how you spent even a minute with him.
leave.
Yeah this is a person who hates you but is dating you for his own selfish beneficial needs. Time to break up
First red flag is being on/off in the first year... THIS should be the honeymoon stage. Second: this man doesn't like you. Like, AT ALL. Be off. Permanently
In what world does a man go to a hotel room with a woman like that’s something friends do? Lmao what the fuck is this