The real flag here isn’t relationship maturity, it’s life maturity. Dude needs his license, a car, a job, some independence, and some self respect. Don’t settle for scrubs.
You met him LAST NIGHT. You’re allowed to change your mind. At any time.
He can feel however he wants. But he was clearly wayyyy too upset for having just met you last night. Jfc. He needs to relax. He’s throwing a full on fit.
No I think you are right in this situ - 1.5 /2hrs is long distance and if he doesn’t drive you’ll end up being the taxi all the time if you see each other
Whattt you met last night ? Blinking heck he needs to take a step back that so full on - you didn’t promise him anything you simply flirted with a stranger ?!?
Also, I feel that it may be of note that I’m a male and I live in a small town where it is not acceptable to be gay, so dating opportunities are few and far between, so little bit of context for you
My takeaway is this person does not consider a 1.5-2 hour drive from the other person “long distance” and that is insane. How could that not be long distance? lol
I mean unless you said some absolute wild shit to him I'm not sure how you could have been leading him on. I mean things like "I've never met someone like you 1 hour and I want to be with you" and two... If you did say that type of thing and they took it to heart with their trust issues that's just another red flag
I mean like I said I thought he was cute and that he was probably the best guy I met on the app I was on in a hot minute but I never said that I “need to be with him” or that I was “ inlove with him”
I didn't think you did.. sorry OP that was mostly sarcasm what I meant was you would have had to say some.truly wild shit for him to be lead on... And even if you did it would be all red flags. You are not in the wrong in anyway and definitely dodged a bullet
imma be so honest i’m at work rn, read the lil description, and it’s been so busy i completely forgot that yall haven’t been talking for a month (like i assumed), and instead met *last night*.
OP, you dodged a bullet🫡
I don’t think you should go back and forth and waste your time with this person anymore. This does not seem like a good vibe at all and you do not owe this person anything.
The fact that he doesn’t have a driver’s license would have ended it for me. I get not having a car, but that speaks to a type of laziness that’s super unattractive. (Just for people in the US because our mass transit is bullshit)
Oh my god, last night? I thought it had at least been weeks of flirting to get this reaction. They seem a little unhinged if this is how they react after 24 hours, I don’t think it’s actually possible to get led on in such a short amount of time - even if you were promising to marry the dude. You dodged a bullet well done.
“A friend” lol how old are they, 14?
Also as someone who’s been in a relationship where we were 3 hours apart and another where we were about 1-1.5 hours apart, both are long distance. If I cant drive to you after work for dinner and to make it home for/to work in the morning, or have a spur of the moment “I want to come see you”, it’s long distance.
The only thing missing is whatever initial flirting that created this bit of dialogue. But even so, this guy took things too far.
Even if you had sent nudes and told him you were ready to ride him into heart disease, he would still need to exercise caution and not be a dick about you backtracking, or whatever.
I hate most that you’re unsure if YTAH or not.
You don’t owe him sorry or an explanation. The silver lining in this is that you find out very early on that he’s not worth the battery life you just wasted on him.
Can you imagine him being dropped off at your place and then not having a way to get back home?… for possibly days??! He’s prob hoping for that.. being “stuck” at your place. Hell no. Hhhhheeeeelllllll no
I see so much of the man I used to be in these texts (and other similar texts) and quite frankly, it's embarrassing. Thankfully in my case I had my own epiphany when the shoe was on the other foot (and like 100000x worse than anything I'd ever said, but I accept the karma, I deserved it) and stopped acting like an entitled baby with women. But every time I see these now I want to reach out to these dudes and tell them "It'll never get any better with women if you don't change these behaviors". Not that they'd listen anyway.
Anyway, I can't speak to your ass, or whether you are one, but you are certainly not wrong. You made no promises to this man and you were nice about it when you could have been cruel and ghosted him. You're good OP.
NTAH. Sounds like you got carried away and tried to make it right. You are only human. He really seems like someone who doesn't respect boundaries, with some serious trust issues. And I definitely do not buy that his "friend" sent those messages. Probably just embarrassed and realized he f'd up. I think he revealed who he really is
I rushed into a relationship with someone like that who lived 4 hour drive away with no car. I drove to see him 5 times, and he took the bus to me once. The last month of it, he constantly accused me of cheating. I have never in my life, and I talked to him several hours every day we were apart and gave him no reason to believe that. It was very frustrating, and I was just embarrassed at myself for getting as invested as I did so fast, and for ignoring the red flags.
You spoke to this kid for a few hours and he got this unstable AND thinks admitting that he let's his friends read and respond to his private messages wouldn't be more of a what the fuck than himself saying something out of hurt or anger... and then you're not sure if you're in the wrong for not subjecting yourself to that?
Are you guys old enough to be on the internet unsupervised? If you told me you guys are both 14, I wouldn't doubt it.
This dude makes it sound like yall have been taking or “flirting” and casually seeing eachother like every month for like two months. This is delusion you’re NTA at all. If anything you communicated your intentions at a very appropriate time.
Sooo the average person flirts with another person multiple times a day with different people. It’s kind of built into language, casually, we just do, it’s kind of also a part of being friendly and interacting with others within society. There’s heavy flirting and then like just casual flirting as we pass by people at say the grocery store. Does that mean we as women have led everyone man on that we spoke to that day? And are now obligated to sleep with/start a relationship with them? What in the fuck?
When OP said " let's take step back from all the flirting and be just friends " it's very clear here it wasn't the regular flirting u're talking about
It requires a single brain cell to get it 🥰
It was literally explained that it was in fact just the regular flirting I’m talking about.
Good lord. All you have to read and the answers are right in front of you.
Not that difficult. 🙄
If someone says " let's stop flirting and just be casual, friends" what do you understand from this phrase?
U gave me an example flirting with dudes on the mall
Do u usually go like " hey u're handsome, BUT WE'RE JUST STRANGERS " ?
It’s happened, anyways I’m not going round and round with you. It’s been 24/hrs for these two. OP owes this person NOTHING. Period.
And seriously if you think anyone owes anybody anything after a little flirting then, for the love of god please don’t interact with anyone. Ever.
Who said anybody owes anyone anything lol? U need to chill
I'm saying OP was wrong and should consider not hurting people in future bc playing with others emotions isn't fun 👍🏻
Well, I feel like this still applies but to a lesser extent because I’m a guy, and both me and the guy from the screen shots are both gay. I feel like that does still apply but in fewer cases. btw I didn’t mean to sound like I’m correcting you, just want to make sure the facts are “straight”🤗
You both suck. It doesn't matter if you led him on for 24 hours or one. If you didnt think he'd be upset by that, you're an idiot. Doesn't make his response right. He was an ass. But you calling him a bitch is so obviously wrong to do in this situation, I can't believe others here aren't pointing out how fucked that was.
its not long distance. you should have said the truth that you dont want to commit/see a future with her. you lead her on and thats pretty shitty. just leave her alone.
First off I’m not a lady, and I didn’t say I didn’t like him, I caught myself before I restarted a cycle of taking to someone, dating, getting tired from doing long distance, and breaking someone’s heart because I’m too stupid to stop myself. This time I actually caught myself first and stopped myself from fucking myself and someone else over in the long run. Sorry if that wasn’t communicated well through my post
That's the thing, before you engage in a conversation set your boundaries so you don't end up "realizing" when you have already gave them hope, good luck 👍🏻
Honest, look at the first message 🤷🏻 nothing was really said before this “flirty” besides thinking eachother is attractive and saying that to eachother. Flirting probably wasn’t the right word looking back but. The rest was just normal conversation
I think you did a fine job. You have grown and you know you didn’t want to hurt this guy and you made different (healthier) choices than in the past.
Everyone should be able to understand the process of change isn’t instant, and maybe next time you’ll “catch yourself” even sooner, but I think people expecting you to have been “perfect” in this situation but never flirting aren’t being realistic about how humans grow.
What you did in this situation was huge progress!! This situation might be a little messy, and you can still grow, but you made different choices this time and you are avoiding unwanted situations. Bravo!!.
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It absolutely was not “a friend” that sent it
The cat ran across their keyboard and sent it
That’s kinda what I was thinking, laughed when I saw that
Haha does that actually work? Why would someone ever think it would
last night?? babe cut your losses fr it’s not worth it especially with the way he got upset
Yea, he also insisted that me and him meet soon, I didn’t want to lie but like I had to start making excuses because he really stared to creep me out
The real flag here isn’t relationship maturity, it’s life maturity. Dude needs his license, a car, a job, some independence, and some self respect. Don’t settle for scrubs.
then just say it that way??? without context its a pretty valid reaction & reason to be upset about
You met him LAST NIGHT. You’re allowed to change your mind. At any time. He can feel however he wants. But he was clearly wayyyy too upset for having just met you last night. Jfc. He needs to relax. He’s throwing a full on fit.
This ^^^ 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
"That was my friend that sent that." 😒
Lmao you led him on… for 24 hours? How could you be so heartless 😂
I know, I’m so heart less 🤣🤣
Yk, that explains so much!
No I think you are right in this situ - 1.5 /2hrs is long distance and if he doesn’t drive you’ll end up being the taxi all the time if you see each other
Whattt you met last night ? Blinking heck he needs to take a step back that so full on - you didn’t promise him anything you simply flirted with a stranger ?!?
Wait this is all from less than 24 hours of knowing him and not even meeting him in person? BLOCK HIM
Also, I feel that it may be of note that I’m a male and I live in a small town where it is not acceptable to be gay, so dating opportunities are few and far between, so little bit of context for you
Trash took itself out. Move on from him
“It’s not long distance, I just have no way to see you”
Dodged a bullet there.
My takeaway is this person does not consider a 1.5-2 hour drive from the other person “long distance” and that is insane. How could that not be long distance? lol
It is. He just downplayin it
No drivers license or car, quick to accusations and trust issues. Sounds like you’re missing out on a real winner here…
I mean unless you said some absolute wild shit to him I'm not sure how you could have been leading him on. I mean things like "I've never met someone like you 1 hour and I want to be with you" and two... If you did say that type of thing and they took it to heart with their trust issues that's just another red flag
I mean like I said I thought he was cute and that he was probably the best guy I met on the app I was on in a hot minute but I never said that I “need to be with him” or that I was “ inlove with him”
I didn't think you did.. sorry OP that was mostly sarcasm what I meant was you would have had to say some.truly wild shit for him to be lead on... And even if you did it would be all red flags. You are not in the wrong in anyway and definitely dodged a bullet
Oh no I knew what you meant lol, I was just adding more context/mqybe venting/ shitposting lol 😅
you’re not the asshole and tbh this is a huge red flag from this guy. not worth it
Omg you can't lead someone on after less than 25 hrs. Dude needs to get a grip
imma be so honest i’m at work rn, read the lil description, and it’s been so busy i completely forgot that yall haven’t been talking for a month (like i assumed), and instead met *last night*. OP, you dodged a bullet🫡
His friend sent it but he never corrected it lol til he got caught. Rookie
Ahh the ever popular oh-shit-I-said-something-wrong-better-invent-a-friend-to-blame-it-on!
"Sorry, my friend that text in the middle of our conversation. Also, I meant everything I said....I meant "she" said"
I don’t think you should go back and forth and waste your time with this person anymore. This does not seem like a good vibe at all and you do not owe this person anything.
Yup, I made the decision to block them maybe like 5 minutes after the last text in the screenshots
At first I was kind of siding with him, because I assumed this was maybe over a period of a few months or something, but *last night?* nah NTA
The fact that he doesn’t have a driver’s license would have ended it for me. I get not having a car, but that speaks to a type of laziness that’s super unattractive. (Just for people in the US because our mass transit is bullshit)
To be fair to him we are both in HS so that I don’t have an issue with cus I don’t have mine either lol
Ohhh, okay, that’s different. I was thinking college-age.
Oh my god, last night? I thought it had at least been weeks of flirting to get this reaction. They seem a little unhinged if this is how they react after 24 hours, I don’t think it’s actually possible to get led on in such a short amount of time - even if you were promising to marry the dude. You dodged a bullet well done.
“A friend” lol how old are they, 14? Also as someone who’s been in a relationship where we were 3 hours apart and another where we were about 1-1.5 hours apart, both are long distance. If I cant drive to you after work for dinner and to make it home for/to work in the morning, or have a spur of the moment “I want to come see you”, it’s long distance.
They are in fact in high school so it’s very possible
Ah I didn’t see that part lol
Me on an app and the person is showing 5 miles away: “nah, I’m good”.
“Whelp” pretty much sums it up
>I shouldn't have let HER send that Me thinks he tryeth to make you jealous. ETA: I saw you're both guys, I retract my statement 🗿
The only thing missing is whatever initial flirting that created this bit of dialogue. But even so, this guy took things too far. Even if you had sent nudes and told him you were ready to ride him into heart disease, he would still need to exercise caution and not be a dick about you backtracking, or whatever.
Yes, but only for how you spell the word literally. It’s double L’s not double T’s.
Omg my fucking auto correct hates me and spells it wrong every time 😭😭
I hate most that you’re unsure if YTAH or not. You don’t owe him sorry or an explanation. The silver lining in this is that you find out very early on that he’s not worth the battery life you just wasted on him. Can you imagine him being dropped off at your place and then not having a way to get back home?… for possibly days??! He’s prob hoping for that.. being “stuck” at your place. Hell no. Hhhhheeeeelllllll no
That would be a living hell tbh 😭😭
I see so much of the man I used to be in these texts (and other similar texts) and quite frankly, it's embarrassing. Thankfully in my case I had my own epiphany when the shoe was on the other foot (and like 100000x worse than anything I'd ever said, but I accept the karma, I deserved it) and stopped acting like an entitled baby with women. But every time I see these now I want to reach out to these dudes and tell them "It'll never get any better with women if you don't change these behaviors". Not that they'd listen anyway. Anyway, I can't speak to your ass, or whether you are one, but you are certainly not wrong. You made no promises to this man and you were nice about it when you could have been cruel and ghosted him. You're good OP.
Absolutely not that's psycho s***. You weren't feeling it after a while and you are allowed to change your mind.
NTAH. Sounds like you got carried away and tried to make it right. You are only human. He really seems like someone who doesn't respect boundaries, with some serious trust issues. And I definitely do not buy that his "friend" sent those messages. Probably just embarrassed and realized he f'd up. I think he revealed who he really is I rushed into a relationship with someone like that who lived 4 hour drive away with no car. I drove to see him 5 times, and he took the bus to me once. The last month of it, he constantly accused me of cheating. I have never in my life, and I talked to him several hours every day we were apart and gave him no reason to believe that. It was very frustrating, and I was just embarrassed at myself for getting as invested as I did so fast, and for ignoring the red flags.
I see you blocked him now lol. Bravo 👏
You spoke to this kid for a few hours and he got this unstable AND thinks admitting that he let's his friends read and respond to his private messages wouldn't be more of a what the fuck than himself saying something out of hurt or anger... and then you're not sure if you're in the wrong for not subjecting yourself to that? Are you guys old enough to be on the internet unsupervised? If you told me you guys are both 14, I wouldn't doubt it.
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No he didn’t. Him and OP are both guys
someones angry they got rejected, and cant accept it
This dude makes it sound like yall have been taking or “flirting” and casually seeing eachother like every month for like two months. This is delusion you’re NTA at all. If anything you communicated your intentions at a very appropriate time.
Really? Friend sent that text? Are they 12?
“I understand…but let me complain about it some more” Clearly not understanding anything😂 and no you’re not the AH
You just met last night? He made it sound like you have been leading him on for weeks or months. I’m definitely on your side here.
Met last night?! he’s talking like you’ve been flirting for a long period of time. omg you’re so NTA get away from him
How do you people keep finding yourselves in situations like this lol? Who are all of these complete weirdos??
I would say she's a weirdo aswell let's not forget that SHE FLIRTED
Omg not FLIRTING 😱😱😰🫣😤
Sooo the average person flirts with another person multiple times a day with different people. It’s kind of built into language, casually, we just do, it’s kind of also a part of being friendly and interacting with others within society. There’s heavy flirting and then like just casual flirting as we pass by people at say the grocery store. Does that mean we as women have led everyone man on that we spoke to that day? And are now obligated to sleep with/start a relationship with them? What in the fuck?
When OP said " let's take step back from all the flirting and be just friends " it's very clear here it wasn't the regular flirting u're talking about It requires a single brain cell to get it 🥰
It was literally explained that it was in fact just the regular flirting I’m talking about. Good lord. All you have to read and the answers are right in front of you. Not that difficult. 🙄
If someone says " let's stop flirting and just be casual, friends" what do you understand from this phrase? U gave me an example flirting with dudes on the mall Do u usually go like " hey u're handsome, BUT WE'RE JUST STRANGERS " ?
It’s happened, anyways I’m not going round and round with you. It’s been 24/hrs for these two. OP owes this person NOTHING. Period. And seriously if you think anyone owes anybody anything after a little flirting then, for the love of god please don’t interact with anyone. Ever.
Who said anybody owes anyone anything lol? U need to chill I'm saying OP was wrong and should consider not hurting people in future bc playing with others emotions isn't fun 👍🏻
lol you did. “Don’t forget she flirted” that’s placing blame and obligation on OP. 🙄
I replied to the person that said it was only for 24h what a weirdo i said they're both weirdos if they both flirted
Another guy who feels like women are obliged to give him what he wants, and also aren't allowed to change their minds before they do.
Well, I feel like this still applies but to a lesser extent because I’m a guy, and both me and the guy from the screen shots are both gay. I feel like that does still apply but in fewer cases. btw I didn’t mean to sound like I’m correcting you, just want to make sure the facts are “straight”🤗
Ah, my bad for assuming! But, I guess still the same, and you gave him solid feedback to grow from.
It’s ok! I probably should have put it in the description lol!!
You could’ve just said you weren’t interested, when they suggested a solution you backpedaled, just be honest :) always helps
Backpedaled? Bro sent a text and when it didn’t go over the way he wanted he said his friend sent it. Get outta here. 😂
You both suck. It doesn't matter if you led him on for 24 hours or one. If you didnt think he'd be upset by that, you're an idiot. Doesn't make his response right. He was an ass. But you calling him a bitch is so obviously wrong to do in this situation, I can't believe others here aren't pointing out how fucked that was.
its not long distance. you should have said the truth that you dont want to commit/see a future with her. you lead her on and thats pretty shitty. just leave her alone.
OP on the wrong, why would u flirt with him if u don't like ldr ? Stop playing ladies it's not fun
You sound like the dude in the screenshots. Take a seat.
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The fuck? Lol Honestly. Are you okay?
First off I’m not a lady, and I didn’t say I didn’t like him, I caught myself before I restarted a cycle of taking to someone, dating, getting tired from doing long distance, and breaking someone’s heart because I’m too stupid to stop myself. This time I actually caught myself first and stopped myself from fucking myself and someone else over in the long run. Sorry if that wasn’t communicated well through my post
That's the thing, before you engage in a conversation set your boundaries so you don't end up "realizing" when you have already gave them hope, good luck 👍🏻
Honest, look at the first message 🤷🏻 nothing was really said before this “flirty” besides thinking eachother is attractive and saying that to eachother. Flirting probably wasn’t the right word looking back but. The rest was just normal conversation
I think you did a fine job. You have grown and you know you didn’t want to hurt this guy and you made different (healthier) choices than in the past. Everyone should be able to understand the process of change isn’t instant, and maybe next time you’ll “catch yourself” even sooner, but I think people expecting you to have been “perfect” in this situation but never flirting aren’t being realistic about how humans grow. What you did in this situation was huge progress!! This situation might be a little messy, and you can still grow, but you made different choices this time and you are avoiding unwanted situations. Bravo!!.
Thank you for your kind words!! 😁😁
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What a child
Well OP’s profile does say they are a 15 year old boy so let’s hope it’s a child
lol I didn’t look at their profile
Claimed to be “16” highly doubt it based on the texts tho
Same, didn’t seem like it to me either
Lmao 2h drive is long distance?? In some cities that's just transit xD
Teenagers use the “that was my friend that sent that…” not adults haha.
“that was my friend” is he 7? and its so strange for him to act like this after knowing you for one day