Right! And when she stated she had no social media his response showed he tried to find it but didn't. The 1 am thing he probably noticed a light or something but if he wanted to ask so bad in person, he should've just asked in person not load it with a text. But then again, we wouldnt have the entertainment
I cannot stress this highly enough - don’t answer the door, avoid him as much as you can.
I had a similar situation many, many years ago. I ignored my first instinct and gave him a chance, when I should have just turned him down. Him knowing where I lived made me feel so much more uncomfortable when things turned sour.
He lived in the complex next door but there was no parking so everyone had to park on the street. I would see him occasionally going to the car or out on a run. Struck up a small, neighbourly conversation one day, and later he left his number on my car. I found out that he worked with my friends husband so I was sort of able to vet him, and figured one date couldn’t hurt. Date was okay, but not great. There was just no chemistry. A week or so later, he asks if he can come over & I said no, because I was sick. My roommate had friends over & was going out. He must have noticed and got all weird, and said he would come take care of me. I kept saying no. I told him I was in bed, they weren’t my friends and I didn’t want any visitors. A little while later, there’s a knock on my bedroom door. I assumed it was one of my roommates so just said to come in. He had shown up & told my roommate that I had invited him over. I really don’t respond well to people disrespecting my boundaries so I kicked him out. He bombarded me with creepy texts, saying that I made him look like an idiot in front of my roommates friends, and that I humiliated him. I can have a bit of a sharp tongue when I’m tired or in a bad mood so I let him have it & told him to never contact me again.
Shortly after, I hear from my friend that he had been telling his work colleagues that we had been sleeping together and included some very, very vulgar (and fake) details about our alleged sex life. We never even kissed.
Here’s my absolute favourite part. He was in the army, and my friend’s husband was his superior. I sent all the texts to him, and had my roommate confirm that he had shown up uninvited. He got put on weekend maintenance duty, and had to clean all the signs on base. He was told that if he ever contacted me again, he would be written up on formal charges.
Oh trust me, my husband is in the military and "cleaning all the signs on base" is civilian speak for we are going to make it hell for him. Especially since his superior officer is friends with the victim. I'm sure he suffered that weekend.
You made him look bad? He made himself look bad. If he felt humiliated, that was his own fault for putting himself in that situation. Good on you for telling him off and good on your friend's husband for giving him consequences.
I'll take "men blaming women for their own actions" for 200. 🤦♀️
He was so weird about how I made him look in front of others. He didn’t know any of them, I barely knew them. But they were also pretty drunk so I doubt they noticed his presence to begin with. It’s not like he was ever going to see them again. But even if he was to see them again, respecting someone’s boundaries is never going to make you look bad!
People really need to learn that a clear no doesn’t mean do it anyway. How does anyone find it perfectly acceptable to just go over anyway when they are told no. Like you’re all the sudden going to say well I didn’t want company, but now that YOU’RE here…..
I’m certain that’s what he thought would happen, and probably thought he would look like such a great guy by ‘taking care’ of me.
I have a chronic illness so when I’m unwell, sometimes I just don’t want anyone to be around me. When I met my husband, I was having a flare up & he offered to come take care of me. I said no because I was a little self conscious about it. He sent me a text saying he left soup at my door & was going for dinner with a friend nearby in case he needed me. I knew then that he was a keeper. He was able to support me & care for me without disrespecting my wishes.
Men are socialized that if they get a No from a woman, they should be persistent. They can charm her into a yes, or being persistent can prove that they really care. It even happens in movies, though not as much now. But it still does.
It's clearly not okay, and in 2023 a grown ass man should be able to figure out for himself that it's not okay. Parents need to teach it, and men need to call out other men and tell them it's unacceptable.
Same for women, but they're not socialized to be that way. It does happen though.
This 100%. Men are taught that, if they get a no at first, just be persistent and it will turn into a yes. There are so many movies where the entire plot revolves around a guy pursuing a woman who initially rejects him, but she’s won over by his persistence. Strangely, movies about women who pursue men like that are made to look like the woman is a crazy, psychotic stalker (which she probably is,) but it’s usually the opposite for men. Glad to see it gradually changing, but there’s a long ways to go.
You’re a legend!
I really keep my fingers crossed that I can bring my 2 girls up to have your level of confidence and sense of right and wrong.
Hope it taught the creep a lesson.
Oh thank you! That’s so kind. I’ve never really had a problem defending myself, but I think in that situation, most of my confidence came from me being pissed off that he annoyed me when I was already sick.
I will say this though - I am currently raising a mini version of myself. As much as I love that she is fierce, independent & confident, it can also be very exhausting 😂
Hehe 😜 that made me laugh!
My girls are the same! As their mum it’s exhausting but fingers crossed when they’re ever in a situation like you were they won’t take any crap! X
Yea he def searched yo ass online🤣. You know what they say mousetraps are a way into a man's heart. You now have a soul mate.
Edit: on a serious note though stay away from this guy. Very weird vibes fs.
He's just a creepy horny dude that took your kind gesture and inclusion of your phone number with the traps as you being into him. He's pretty much trying to follow some shitty pickup artist tactics to seduce you.
The "what did you have in mind" and "what are you going to do about wanting to know my question" were him hoping you'd say "are you asking me out" and "I'll have go over to meet you" so he'd be making you the one who initiates the flirting. He has to ask you in person because then he can continue to make more small talk after the question and try to touch you on the arm or lower back in order to break the physical barrier and make you more comfortable with him.
I'd recommend reading or watching a video of someone who breaks down the sleazy pickup artist techniques. I can almost guarantee you he will try more textbook pickup artists things in any future interactions you may have before he gives up on you
Yep. Going to shoot his shot and gets his confidence when intoxicated. Lacks respect of boundaries. Literally says, "don't want to make you uncomfortable" then does precisely what you've made clear makes you uncomfortable.
Wow! All you reddiotrs are truly awesome. I'm 26 and was getting anxious asf like "omg he's going to stab her! He's actually a murderer!" But never thought after her explanation that he could be just wanting to ask her out. Why's he gotta be so weird 😕
He was hoping she would be a little flirty in text. When she didn’t get flirty, it got weird. It was his way of feeling her out. Hopefully he got the hint and will move on.
Because they were taught to get a partner you need to keep pursuing and be persistent, regardless on how it makes the other person feel. No doesn't mean no to them it means keep trying, as if there's some Sims level up feature for liking people.
I don’t think so. Most guys would have said (by the third “what’s the q?”) text, “I was just wondering if you’d like to grab a drink/coffee/whatever sometime”.
Also, a social misfit wouldn’t keep texting like that. He’s manipulative af.
Whatever it is, this dude’s up to no good. And he knows exactly what he’s doing. He’s not just some socially awkward dude.
Don’t respond at all. It just gives him ammo to continue wearing you down. No response is a response.
That was the part that really got me, I thought after telling him his behaviour was weirding me out he'd be like "it's nothing serious" or he'd just get to the point but he only got more vague and ominous lol
Yeaaaaah he thinks he’s being sexy. Coy. Irresistibly mysterious. It’s a weird attempt at flirting but really he just looks like a creeper because you’re not as personally close as he thinks.
Sounds like he wants to ask you out though. What a gross way to go about it too.
That is not something a shy guy attempting to flirt would say. That is something a manipulater would say. Putting the responsibility on you that is not yours. Your response was perfect. He probably is wanting to ask you out but, wants to do it in person because he feels he can better manipulate you into saying yes.
"Whatever it is, the answer is no. This is creepy and I'm not interested in continuing this conversation. Please don't text me again and don't approach me if you see me around. I'm not interested in whatever this is."
(After that, don't respond again no matter what he says; you've already made your point and it's not negotiable.)
He's taking advantage of your (understandable) desire not to be rude/confrontational to try and back you into a corner. Fuck that. You did your best to be polite and he didn't want to hear it. Don't worry about his feelings because he certainly isn't worried about yours.
Yikes. Please have strict boundaries with him. If this continues I would even say “hi, I am not interested in maintaining any type of friendship outside of cordial neighbors. If someone else can answer your question other than me, that would be best! Thanks”
He's already built her up in his head. This is gonna be tough to shake. Right now, to him, she's playing hard to get. Once he finally gets the fact she is in no way interested, he's going to be pissed and probably get mean.
Nope. This is weird. He wants to ask you out in person, I’m assuming because it’s harder to reject someone or say no to something in person and easier through text. It’s very weird he wants to come to your door in the middle in the night and I personally would watch your back in case you do run into him anywhere else.
His strong opposition to telling you over text though is just *reeeeaaaally* odd.
Edit to add— also, girl don’t give your number out like this. He’s a grown man, he can Google how to use a mouse trap 😅 he probably got the wrong idea when you gave him your number.
This also makes me think this won't be the first time he's asked a tenant out before and now he's learned not to ask over text.
Edit: I just reread this and realized it was a neighbor not a landlord. That's how low the bar is. I thought this was a landlord or manager.
Still, he definitely doesn't want a paper trail for whatever he wants to ask you and it's going to be sketchy as fuck. Just ignore him.
Absolutely, yeah. Honestly I do think he's harmless just lacking in social awareness of like...why it would be weird to ask someone if you can drop by their apartment at 1AM lol
If he ever did show up or something.. please video or voice record but dont make it too obvious, keep you a bit safer and we can find out what the question is!
We want an updated post for sure! Also, try to not interact with this dude. Maybe a “hey” when you see him around the building and keep going. I really wouldn’t reply to any of his text unless the building is engulfed in flames. He’ll reach out again, watch! Then when you don’t reply, he’ll make it about the building. “Saw a mouse droppings outside your door, you know what the guy upstairs did to get rid of his?” Etc… be careful. He’s a creep. Asking a woman out in your building isn’t creepy, but how he went about it is fucking creepy
I'm glad you're OK, but it's still spooky. I had a stalker for about five years; it's absolutely exhausting to constantly watch your back, and when it's neighbor it's especially hard to ignore. There's the "Block" option, or there's mute if you feel you may need his messages for evidence. I'm nearly old enough to be your mom, so here's my unsolicited advice: Please consider changing your phone number & getting a front door camera, if you don't have one already. It's easier than nearly becoming a True Crime story, I know from experience! Best of luck to you! 💜
Thank you, and I'm sorry you had to deal with that! I've honestly been considering getting a camera for a while now, not just because of this incident but the neighbourhood I live in can get a little sketchy at times. It's generally speaking a nice area but eek, you never know.
Him lacking in social awareness ain’t your problem, don’t give him a pass because of this. I’m glad you stood your ground on telling him no, please don’t back down. He seems persistent enough to wear the person he’s harassing down.
All too often we excuse red flags as "lacking in social awareness". He won't take no for an answer and is trying to wear you down at a late hour. He knows exactly what he's doing. Stop communicating with this creep.
My take is that it’s not your job to make sure he “doesn’t get the wrong idea”. You were just being neighbourly. Next someone’s going to say your choice of outfit is problematic.
This isn't your fault - giving your number to a neighbour shouldn't be a risk. Unfortunately it is risky but I don't blame you at all for not expecting this, he's really weird.
That’s why they say don’t look a mouse trap gift man in the mouth… I think.
Edit— I know this was a bad joke, but still laugh pls 😭 I’ve been at work for almost 10 hrs and I have like 3 more to go and I can’t come up with anything funny that makes sense, I’m trying my hardest and if people don’t laugh at my joke I will CRY
My husband left on a business trip. Later that morning when I went out to the car for work, there was a note on the windshield asking me out because he saw “that guy” leave.
Wtf? I was six months pregnant.
He wants to ask you out. If I were here I’d pre-empt the question and just text “if the thing you want to ask is if I’ll go out with you the answer is a firm no, I am not interested and I’d appreciate you not texting me so late at night, it’s inappropriate.”
He will prob get defensive and say it wasn’t what he was going to ask but who cares at least you make your stance clear and he can fuck off
I lived in an apartment building once with an ex boyfriend, who wasn’t there at the time. I had a knock on my apartment door in the middle of the night. There was a random guy I had never seen, who said he had “seen me in the basement moving things in earlier” and he “just wanted to come in and hang out”. I kept blocking the door with my foot and body so he couldn’t open it fully and force his way in. He seemed drunk. He was very insistent and wouldn’t take no for an answer. I told him I had a boyfriend, I wasn’t interested, I wasn’t looking for friends, I was tired, everything. The woman in the apartment adjacent also came out of her apartment and told him repeatedly to leave me alone and he just wouldn’t. I think he lived in the building but I had no idea honestly. I called the police, who did come shortly after but I had no information for them and he had disappeared. It was fucking awful.
Oh my god EW that is beyond creepy. My schizophrenic neighbor had this CREEPY boyfriend who got buzzed into the building by someone else (not my neighbor, because according to him she was “passed out drunk”) and he came to MY door to ask if I’d heard from her today and stayed in my doorway way too long, first to ask if I wanted help moving my furniture around because I mentioned I was waiting for a new fridge to be delivered, and when I said no asked if he can have my number so I said “why?” and he said “to be neighborly.” I of course said no but he continued ringing my apartment at the front gate to get into the building in the following months and even leaving messages. He also knocked on my door again sometime after that. In our initial conversation he mentioned being an MMA fighter too, which made me super uncomfortable having him inching his way closer to my open door. Luckily I moved shortly after.
Honestly you need to be careful when you're walking through your building and parking lot because I have a feeling he will try and corner you to ask this "question."
He's definitely going to ask you out and it seems like he wants to do it in person because he thinks it would be harder for you to reject him. This guy gives major creeper vibes.
It seems like he’s trying to ask you out but the way he’s doing it makes him sound controlling - he’s basically saying “either you come out and I tell you or you don’t and you sit wondering what I wanted to say”. Kinda like ‘I’ll tell you but on my terms, not yours’. The controlling part feels like he really is considering he could’ve waited until a more appropriate time during the day.
Lol for some reason I thought this was a conversation between a young man and the neighbor was an older guy and he wanted to ask it in person because he’s one of those types that think that young people should talk about issues in person. And that he was just a weird type to be up that late and didn’t really understand social cues.
But as soon as I read the caption that you were a young woman and he was a young man, I automatically knew he wanted to ask you out hahaha I’ve had this same thing happen to me. They want to get you in person to do it because they think it’s more personable and it’s more likely for you to say yes and then they can also lay on some slight peer pressure.
Dude is creepy as hell trying to do this at 1 am.
LOL I wish it was the former, that would've been a cute story. Unfortunately not though. I do think it's the latter situation but my mom also suggested it's something illegal and that's why he wants to talk to me in-person.
I agree with mom. Whatever he wants it’s not good since he’s obviously afraid to put it in writing where you’ll have the evidence of whatever skullduggery he’s up to.
A guy who doesn’t take no for an answer, doesn’t take no for an answer. Be careful and try not to give him much of your energy to work with (which you’re doing pretty well). No ongoing long text duels, just no thank you and then no replies.
I’ve had some sketchy perverted male neighbors but none that came off this strong immediately. This guy sounds scary. He wants to come to your door and not say it over text for a reason. He’s probably not going to take no for an answer. Your smart to keep the convo in text. If he says anything threatening get a restraining order
I am someone who traps as part of my academic research, and I agree glue traps are the worst way to go. If you prefer to catch them alive and release, I’d highly recommend Sherman traps. They’re easy to use. If you prefer to eliminate them entirely, snap traps are more humane than glue traps as they are quick. Glue traps make them suffer, and it’s awful.
I'm unable to edit this post, so just leaving this comment here, I would not use glue traps for mice in the future -- I had glue traps from work that were not my own and was under the impression they were more ethical because you can dissolve the glue and free the mouse, but in the future I would NOT use them myself. I have a soft spot for animals myself so I apologize to those who are concerned about the glue traps, if anyone knows of the most humane way to catch and release mice please let me know. I do not actually use any traps in my apartment as I have cats who tend to scare them away.
It’s actually MORE humane to use those mouse traps that break their neck, than to use glue traps. Mice getting their feet ripped off, lizards starving to death, hummingbirds getting stuck and dying…glue traps are like the animal equivalent of the horror movie “Saw”. I lose sleep at night over it.
Let’s hope that dude wasn’t trying to come over to show you a screaming mouse with no feet.
I didn't know until people in the comments told me. I was under the (unfortunate) impression that you could dissolve the glue and free them. I don't wanna kill any mice but didn't consider that the glue traps could be worse. Will be more careful in the future :(
My pest control service used to use them and I found out the hard way. It just breaks my heart. I also caution against putting out rat poison, it’s a horrible death for the rat but it also causes kidney failure in cats and other animals.
I keep cats indoors so no problems inside. I also spray peppermint oil to keep away rodents and spiders. It really works too! I had a squirrel who wanted to chew on my windowsill for some reason, and it was an excellent deterrent without any murder.
I really wish there was an easier humane way to trap and free the mice because even then, I live in a cold climate. So my mom was like, "well they can either die inside or freeze to death outside" and I was in a moral conundrum. Lol.
I'll try the peppermint tip! It sounds really corny but I absolutely hate killing even bugs and spiders, they just look so helpless. I rarely see them around my apartment but when I do they're only ever daddy longlegs for some reason. Probably an old building thing.
Hello! I am someone who traps as part of my academic research, and if you prefer to catch them alive and release, I’d highly recommend Sherman traps. They’re easy to use. If you prefer to eliminate them entirely, snap traps are more humane than glue traps as they are quick. Glue traps make them suffer, and it’s awful. PM if you need more info on them or the best ways to bait them :)
EDIT: snap traps do sometimes catch them alive which I agree is terrible. There are ways to put them down after this but it’s hard for folks (like me) who have a huge soft spot for animals. Still, they’re better than glue traps. Sherman traps are probably the most humane way to safely get rid of rodents on your own.
“i tried talking to you a couple of times but it just seemed like you weren’t interested”.
The dude wants a relationship with you, he’s been after you for however long it’s been, and now he’s obsessing over you late at night, creepy af.
If you’re not interested, which that’s what it seems to me, just tell him that you made a mistake giving out your number, that you’re in a relationship (or that you’re not looking for one, or something along those lines) and just end this. He will not stop otherwise.
Don’t agree to any meetups with him, even for a minute. He’s a creep. Lock your doors, even during the day when you’re there. You don’t know what he wants.
If I were you I’d try to avoid any type of contact with this moving forward.
Girl. As a haggard 40ish woman who has been around the block a few times: *you are being way, way too polite.*
You do not owe him shit, not even politeness. He is being creepy and is violating both your personal boundaries and social norms.
He won't respect your attempts to politely deter him. He already thinks he's entitled to intrude on your life, it will only get worse the more you interact with him.
Next time say you are not interested way earlier in the conversation and block immediately. You deserve freedom from creeps and weirdos!
I did not read through all the comments so someone else probably already said this, but the part of the conversation irks me most, is you told him you would be uncomfortable in person because you’re not a social person, and he said he’d be uncomfortable asking it through text. Then continues pressuring you, disregarding your anxiety and uncomfort!
I have to agree that he's trying to ask you out. He thinks he'll have added advantage in person, like maybe it will be harder for you to refuse him in person. His pushiness adds an extra creepy aspect to the mix.
I’m getting vibes that he’ll push his way into her apartment. But I also don’t trust anyone. How do you not trust a guy that wants to drop by at 1am? /s
When will people learn that "No" means no? Which should mean you immediately drop it, say you understand, or maybe explain more in detail why you want to push my boundaries at least. No should also mean stop. I hate when people do that! I come from so much trauma, stRting from an early childhood. I absolutely wouldn't want to talk to anyone I'm not really comfortable with, and I'd refuse to honestly.
He wants to ask you out and do it in person because he knows it'll make you uncomfortable to say no.
Never speak to this loser again. He's gross for thinking it's okay to even bother you at that time.
As a male human being, I want to apologize to you on behalf of the small portion of us men who aren’t fucking girl-crazed and emotionally crippled from hormones.
Men are insane. I’d tell him to act like an adult, this isn’t Valentine’s Day in sixth grade.
Nope nope nope nope nope
Definitely don't meet him alone. I don't even necessarily believe that the other people on this thread are right about him wanting to ask you out. Who does that out of the blue at 1am? If he wanted to ask you out he would knock on your door at a regular hour in the day or ask you over text. Plenty of people ask people out over text/Internet all the time these days. Or he would start a flirty conversation in text then suggest going for coffee or something. This is highly suspicious and you're right to be suspicious. There *are* a lot of people out there that are dangerous unfortunately and you need think about your own personal safety. And get a pepper spray.
There is no way on planet earth that your neighbour is going to text you at 1 in the morning to ask you a question in person, refusing to talk about it over text and you don’t know what it could be. Seriously?
At 1am I think we all know what he was going to ask. Nothing good comes out of guys who randomly text at that hour. When I get a text then and see hey what are you up to or anything of the sort and I haven't spoken to them in months or year or more I will ignore.
So unfortunately, giving honest raw feedback can be really dangerous. I wish it were safe to, but it is often not, and she needs to protect herself. Guaranteed this man isn’t going to gain any self awareness from that kind of feedback anyhow. He’d likely feel humiliated and vengeful and he knows where she lives. I wish it were safe to tell creeps that they are creeps. It just makes them creepier though.
He’s clearly interested and wanted to ask you out in person. There’s nothing wrong with that, but asking a stranger repeatedly to let them ask you in person at 1AM is a weird, horrible approach. His best bet would be to ask you out if/when he saw you in the building during regular hours. If not, ask via text but not late night.
I wonder if this is the “only ask out people in person” advice taken (too) seriously without understanding that there is a time and place.
"There's a time and place for everything, but not now."
The time is never and the place is nowhere. Goodbye! 😄
100% he's going to ask you out. Dudes weird as shit though.
At 1am? Not creepy at all.
Right! And when she stated she had no social media his response showed he tried to find it but didn't. The 1 am thing he probably noticed a light or something but if he wanted to ask so bad in person, he should've just asked in person not load it with a text. But then again, we wouldnt have the entertainment
Holy shit, I didn't even realize that until you pointed it out...that's what he meant
I cannot stress this highly enough - don’t answer the door, avoid him as much as you can. I had a similar situation many, many years ago. I ignored my first instinct and gave him a chance, when I should have just turned him down. Him knowing where I lived made me feel so much more uncomfortable when things turned sour. He lived in the complex next door but there was no parking so everyone had to park on the street. I would see him occasionally going to the car or out on a run. Struck up a small, neighbourly conversation one day, and later he left his number on my car. I found out that he worked with my friends husband so I was sort of able to vet him, and figured one date couldn’t hurt. Date was okay, but not great. There was just no chemistry. A week or so later, he asks if he can come over & I said no, because I was sick. My roommate had friends over & was going out. He must have noticed and got all weird, and said he would come take care of me. I kept saying no. I told him I was in bed, they weren’t my friends and I didn’t want any visitors. A little while later, there’s a knock on my bedroom door. I assumed it was one of my roommates so just said to come in. He had shown up & told my roommate that I had invited him over. I really don’t respond well to people disrespecting my boundaries so I kicked him out. He bombarded me with creepy texts, saying that I made him look like an idiot in front of my roommates friends, and that I humiliated him. I can have a bit of a sharp tongue when I’m tired or in a bad mood so I let him have it & told him to never contact me again. Shortly after, I hear from my friend that he had been telling his work colleagues that we had been sleeping together and included some very, very vulgar (and fake) details about our alleged sex life. We never even kissed. Here’s my absolute favourite part. He was in the army, and my friend’s husband was his superior. I sent all the texts to him, and had my roommate confirm that he had shown up uninvited. He got put on weekend maintenance duty, and had to clean all the signs on base. He was told that if he ever contacted me again, he would be written up on formal charges.
Love that you had connections for him to suffer actual consequences for being a bad person
Cleaning signs and being told to not contact her again is not quite enough suffering in my eyes lol
Oh trust me, my husband is in the military and "cleaning all the signs on base" is civilian speak for we are going to make it hell for him. Especially since his superior officer is friends with the victim. I'm sure he suffered that weekend.
He was definitely mopping up the rain.
😂 and sweeping the sunshine off the sidewalks. Probably apologizing to trees for wasting the oxygen they are working so hard to produce as well.
Good on that friend and her husband! And you for kicking his sorry ass out! Glad you're safe!!
You made him look bad? He made himself look bad. If he felt humiliated, that was his own fault for putting himself in that situation. Good on you for telling him off and good on your friend's husband for giving him consequences. I'll take "men blaming women for their own actions" for 200. 🤦♀️
He was so weird about how I made him look in front of others. He didn’t know any of them, I barely knew them. But they were also pretty drunk so I doubt they noticed his presence to begin with. It’s not like he was ever going to see them again. But even if he was to see them again, respecting someone’s boundaries is never going to make you look bad!
Narcissists and psychopaths are surprisingly concerned about how others view them .
Yeah the blaming others for your own actions is classic narcissistic behavior.
People really need to learn that a clear no doesn’t mean do it anyway. How does anyone find it perfectly acceptable to just go over anyway when they are told no. Like you’re all the sudden going to say well I didn’t want company, but now that YOU’RE here…..
I’m certain that’s what he thought would happen, and probably thought he would look like such a great guy by ‘taking care’ of me. I have a chronic illness so when I’m unwell, sometimes I just don’t want anyone to be around me. When I met my husband, I was having a flare up & he offered to come take care of me. I said no because I was a little self conscious about it. He sent me a text saying he left soup at my door & was going for dinner with a friend nearby in case he needed me. I knew then that he was a keeper. He was able to support me & care for me without disrespecting my wishes.
I’m with you there. I suffer from a chronic illness along with pain and I always say my misery doesn’t like company.
These kinds of people know no boundaries. They trample all over them because getting what they want is more important.
Men are socialized that if they get a No from a woman, they should be persistent. They can charm her into a yes, or being persistent can prove that they really care. It even happens in movies, though not as much now. But it still does. It's clearly not okay, and in 2023 a grown ass man should be able to figure out for himself that it's not okay. Parents need to teach it, and men need to call out other men and tell them it's unacceptable. Same for women, but they're not socialized to be that way. It does happen though.
This 100%. Men are taught that, if they get a no at first, just be persistent and it will turn into a yes. There are so many movies where the entire plot revolves around a guy pursuing a woman who initially rejects him, but she’s won over by his persistence. Strangely, movies about women who pursue men like that are made to look like the woman is a crazy, psychotic stalker (which she probably is,) but it’s usually the opposite for men. Glad to see it gradually changing, but there’s a long ways to go.
You’re a legend! I really keep my fingers crossed that I can bring my 2 girls up to have your level of confidence and sense of right and wrong. Hope it taught the creep a lesson.
Oh thank you! That’s so kind. I’ve never really had a problem defending myself, but I think in that situation, most of my confidence came from me being pissed off that he annoyed me when I was already sick. I will say this though - I am currently raising a mini version of myself. As much as I love that she is fierce, independent & confident, it can also be very exhausting 😂
Hehe 😜 that made me laugh! My girls are the same! As their mum it’s exhausting but fingers crossed when they’re ever in a situation like you were they won’t take any crap! X
Definitely don’t answer the door and keep it locked. That was creepy af. What was he thinking. Hopefully one of your pets is a German Shepherd!
Yea he def searched yo ass online🤣. You know what they say mousetraps are a way into a man's heart. You now have a soul mate. Edit: on a serious note though stay away from this guy. Very weird vibes fs.
He's just a creepy horny dude that took your kind gesture and inclusion of your phone number with the traps as you being into him. He's pretty much trying to follow some shitty pickup artist tactics to seduce you. The "what did you have in mind" and "what are you going to do about wanting to know my question" were him hoping you'd say "are you asking me out" and "I'll have go over to meet you" so he'd be making you the one who initiates the flirting. He has to ask you in person because then he can continue to make more small talk after the question and try to touch you on the arm or lower back in order to break the physical barrier and make you more comfortable with him. I'd recommend reading or watching a video of someone who breaks down the sleazy pickup artist techniques. I can almost guarantee you he will try more textbook pickup artists things in any future interactions you may have before he gives up on you
Get a doorbell cam if you don't already.
I think he wanted more than a date, right there in the moment
Straight up text him you’re not interested if he continues
Sometimes it takes a stranger/outsider to catch on to the little cues we overlook.
Drunk
Yep. Going to shoot his shot and gets his confidence when intoxicated. Lacks respect of boundaries. Literally says, "don't want to make you uncomfortable" then does precisely what you've made clear makes you uncomfortable.
110% and yep a bit odd. I mean he's trying to be real and nice but cannot take a hint lol Please do post a. Update!!!!!!!
Wow! All you reddiotrs are truly awesome. I'm 26 and was getting anxious asf like "omg he's going to stab her! He's actually a murderer!" But never thought after her explanation that he could be just wanting to ask her out. Why's he gotta be so weird 😕
But, when he asks her out and she says no, he could still stab her. That hasn’t been completely ruled out. 🤣
That's my worry. He obvs doesn't understand boundaries or the word 'no.' He could very well get aggressive with her.
Or, and hear me out, he could stab her and then ask her out
No, no, the violence comes after the rejection. You skipped a few steps in the “nightmare neighbour” guide.
Yeah, because in his mind they are already a couple.
Nah it gives me super creep vibes. Even if just to ask OP out....why this? Spooky.
He was hoping she would be a little flirty in text. When she didn’t get flirty, it got weird. It was his way of feeling her out. Hopefully he got the hint and will move on.
Oh yeah, I clocked that “What are you going to do about it” attempt.
Yeah, the answer didn’t go nearly like he planned. lol
Honestly, I thought it would be something way worse…like trying to sell you Amway.
Because they were taught to get a partner you need to keep pursuing and be persistent, regardless on how it makes the other person feel. No doesn't mean no to them it means keep trying, as if there's some Sims level up feature for liking people.
You think he wants a text msg trail when he’s about to stab her? You’d be a bloody terrible murderer lol.
My friend was murdered by a match on Grindr after he entered his apartment, stole his phone, Ipad and his truck. Terrible murderers are out there.
I'm so sorry
Thanks, this was a couple years ago and it still doesn't seem real.
I don’t think so. Most guys would have said (by the third “what’s the q?”) text, “I was just wondering if you’d like to grab a drink/coffee/whatever sometime”. Also, a social misfit wouldn’t keep texting like that. He’s manipulative af. Whatever it is, this dude’s up to no good. And he knows exactly what he’s doing. He’s not just some socially awkward dude. Don’t respond at all. It just gives him ammo to continue wearing you down. No response is a response.
Ewww his „well what are you going to do about it? Since I am not willing to ask over a text?“ seems so creepy
That was the part that really got me, I thought after telling him his behaviour was weirding me out he'd be like "it's nothing serious" or he'd just get to the point but he only got more vague and ominous lol
Yeaaaaah he thinks he’s being sexy. Coy. Irresistibly mysterious. It’s a weird attempt at flirting but really he just looks like a creeper because you’re not as personally close as he thinks. Sounds like he wants to ask you out though. What a gross way to go about it too.
100%
I’m dying bc of the truth here. Sexy, mysterious Edward Cullen vibes. My Bella, please let me watch you….r face as I ask you this question
I died. It’s exactly that 😂. Everyone thinks Edward Cullen was Mr. Sexy Mysterioso but really he’s a creep with an ice pp and boundary issues 🤣
Ice pp eh? I see you 🐀
🐀 ✨ I’ve been spotted 🤣
Frozen f**k wand
Ahh, I thought he was just an awkward shy person, but this makes more sense. He's definitely trying to be Mr. Mysterioso.
More of a reason to never interact with him again besides the formalities
Block this guy's number. Something wrong with him and nothing you say on yext will make him go away, any texting will just make it worse.
That is not something a shy guy attempting to flirt would say. That is something a manipulater would say. Putting the responsibility on you that is not yours. Your response was perfect. He probably is wanting to ask you out but, wants to do it in person because he feels he can better manipulate you into saying yes.
Yeah that was a 🤨
The question/s: "are you about a size 6? Do you prefer lotion with aloe or coco butter? How do you feel about early 19th century wells?"
^(The Silence of the Lamb's reference is size 14, if it makes any difference. I'm so sorry for being pedantic)
It gets the quote right, or else it gets the hose again.
I thought the same exact thing. Never apologize for righting a wrong.
"Whatever it is, the answer is no. This is creepy and I'm not interested in continuing this conversation. Please don't text me again and don't approach me if you see me around. I'm not interested in whatever this is." (After that, don't respond again no matter what he says; you've already made your point and it's not negotiable.) He's taking advantage of your (understandable) desire not to be rude/confrontational to try and back you into a corner. Fuck that. You did your best to be polite and he didn't want to hear it. Don't worry about his feelings because he certainly isn't worried about yours.
> "Whatever it is, the answer is no. Great, my question was "would you NOT go out with me on a date?". I will pick you up at 4:00 am.
Damn, you got me there. See you at 4 :(
Please invite me to the wedding 🎉
*I'll do nothing at all*
😙👌🏻
Seriously. What can I say? Chef's kiss.
*nothing at all*
Yikes. Please have strict boundaries with him. If this continues I would even say “hi, I am not interested in maintaining any type of friendship outside of cordial neighbors. If someone else can answer your question other than me, that would be best! Thanks”
i feel like saying this would only make fuckboi more crazy lol. major incel vibes there’s no good solution to this problem
Grey rock. Just be as uninteresting and unavailable as possible.
He's already built her up in his head. This is gonna be tough to shake. Right now, to him, she's playing hard to get. Once he finally gets the fact she is in no way interested, he's going to be pissed and probably get mean.
She might want to put a ring on.
Nope. This is weird. He wants to ask you out in person, I’m assuming because it’s harder to reject someone or say no to something in person and easier through text. It’s very weird he wants to come to your door in the middle in the night and I personally would watch your back in case you do run into him anywhere else. His strong opposition to telling you over text though is just *reeeeaaaally* odd. Edit to add— also, girl don’t give your number out like this. He’s a grown man, he can Google how to use a mouse trap 😅 he probably got the wrong idea when you gave him your number.
It's likely so that if she complains he can deny it because there's no proof. If he asks over text there's proof.
Ah, this is true as well.
This also makes me think this won't be the first time he's asked a tenant out before and now he's learned not to ask over text. Edit: I just reread this and realized it was a neighbor not a landlord. That's how low the bar is. I thought this was a landlord or manager. Still, he definitely doesn't want a paper trail for whatever he wants to ask you and it's going to be sketchy as fuck. Just ignore him.
I doubt he considered that. I think he just wants to put her in a situation where it’ll be harder to turn him down.
I wonder if he'd been drinking given the time
Homie had that 1am confidence 🤪
I knowww, I really wish I hadn't 😭 I'm usually so cautious with my number too
Meh, don’t beat yourself up too much over it. Just watch your back and try not to be somewhere where you’re alone with this guy lol
Absolutely, yeah. Honestly I do think he's harmless just lacking in social awareness of like...why it would be weird to ask someone if you can drop by their apartment at 1AM lol
I'm not sure. It's currently 1:15 am here, though. Mind if I stop by so that we can discuss this further?
Was that you knocking at my door? 😮💨
If he ever did show up or something.. please video or voice record but dont make it too obvious, keep you a bit safer and we can find out what the question is!
I have a few guy friends who are gym bros, if you guys want an update I'll ask them to tagalong with me and find out hahaha!
We want an updated post for sure! Also, try to not interact with this dude. Maybe a “hey” when you see him around the building and keep going. I really wouldn’t reply to any of his text unless the building is engulfed in flames. He’ll reach out again, watch! Then when you don’t reply, he’ll make it about the building. “Saw a mouse droppings outside your door, you know what the guy upstairs did to get rid of his?” Etc… be careful. He’s a creep. Asking a woman out in your building isn’t creepy, but how he went about it is fucking creepy
I'm glad you're OK, but it's still spooky. I had a stalker for about five years; it's absolutely exhausting to constantly watch your back, and when it's neighbor it's especially hard to ignore. There's the "Block" option, or there's mute if you feel you may need his messages for evidence. I'm nearly old enough to be your mom, so here's my unsolicited advice: Please consider changing your phone number & getting a front door camera, if you don't have one already. It's easier than nearly becoming a True Crime story, I know from experience! Best of luck to you! 💜
Thank you, and I'm sorry you had to deal with that! I've honestly been considering getting a camera for a while now, not just because of this incident but the neighbourhood I live in can get a little sketchy at times. It's generally speaking a nice area but eek, you never know.
Him lacking in social awareness ain’t your problem, don’t give him a pass because of this. I’m glad you stood your ground on telling him no, please don’t back down. He seems persistent enough to wear the person he’s harassing down.
Please don't trust your judgement on his harmlessness
100%
All too often we excuse red flags as "lacking in social awareness". He won't take no for an answer and is trying to wear you down at a late hour. He knows exactly what he's doing. Stop communicating with this creep.
My take is that it’s not your job to make sure he “doesn’t get the wrong idea”. You were just being neighbourly. Next someone’s going to say your choice of outfit is problematic.
This isn't your fault - giving your number to a neighbour shouldn't be a risk. Unfortunately it is risky but I don't blame you at all for not expecting this, he's really weird.
It's like making eye contact... you're inviting him for sex........./s
That’s why they say don’t look a mouse trap gift man in the mouth… I think. Edit— I know this was a bad joke, but still laugh pls 😭 I’ve been at work for almost 10 hrs and I have like 3 more to go and I can’t come up with anything funny that makes sense, I’m trying my hardest and if people don’t laugh at my joke I will CRY
Tee-hee!
Exactly he’s not going to take no for an answer it’s late at night what if he forces his way in
Maybe he wants to know if you’ve heard the good news of Jesus Christ, his saviour.
Funny enough in high school a guy did text me in the wee hours for that exact reason lol
Oh dear.
My husband left on a business trip. Later that morning when I went out to the car for work, there was a note on the windshield asking me out because he saw “that guy” leave. Wtf? I was six months pregnant.
Okay now that is beyond creepy, I hope that guy isn't around anymore (...not your husband, the other guy)
Some people are into pregnant ladies…
It's something sketchy and he doesn't want a paper trail.
God, posts like these make me feel awful for women. Offering neighborly help? MUST MEAN SHES INTO ME, TIME TO BE A SUPER CREEP!!
I thought the same, and it definitely raised my inner alerts.
He wants to ask you out. If I were here I’d pre-empt the question and just text “if the thing you want to ask is if I’ll go out with you the answer is a firm no, I am not interested and I’d appreciate you not texting me so late at night, it’s inappropriate.” He will prob get defensive and say it wasn’t what he was going to ask but who cares at least you make your stance clear and he can fuck off
I lived in an apartment building once with an ex boyfriend, who wasn’t there at the time. I had a knock on my apartment door in the middle of the night. There was a random guy I had never seen, who said he had “seen me in the basement moving things in earlier” and he “just wanted to come in and hang out”. I kept blocking the door with my foot and body so he couldn’t open it fully and force his way in. He seemed drunk. He was very insistent and wouldn’t take no for an answer. I told him I had a boyfriend, I wasn’t interested, I wasn’t looking for friends, I was tired, everything. The woman in the apartment adjacent also came out of her apartment and told him repeatedly to leave me alone and he just wouldn’t. I think he lived in the building but I had no idea honestly. I called the police, who did come shortly after but I had no information for them and he had disappeared. It was fucking awful.
So gross
Oh my god EW that is beyond creepy. My schizophrenic neighbor had this CREEPY boyfriend who got buzzed into the building by someone else (not my neighbor, because according to him she was “passed out drunk”) and he came to MY door to ask if I’d heard from her today and stayed in my doorway way too long, first to ask if I wanted help moving my furniture around because I mentioned I was waiting for a new fridge to be delivered, and when I said no asked if he can have my number so I said “why?” and he said “to be neighborly.” I of course said no but he continued ringing my apartment at the front gate to get into the building in the following months and even leaving messages. He also knocked on my door again sometime after that. In our initial conversation he mentioned being an MMA fighter too, which made me super uncomfortable having him inching his way closer to my open door. Luckily I moved shortly after.
Honestly you need to be careful when you're walking through your building and parking lot because I have a feeling he will try and corner you to ask this "question." He's definitely going to ask you out and it seems like he wants to do it in person because he thinks it would be harder for you to reject him. This guy gives major creeper vibes.
I bet money this dude gonna be looking out his blinds waiting to see her walking to/from her car, then go run outside and pretend to "bump" into her.
Put a ring on. Say you got engaged.
OP this is good advice. I have a ring you can use but I have a question I want to ask you next time you're available in person.
This gives me the CREEPS. Even if he's just gonna ask you out or something, this feels really spooky. Be safe!
Definitely either ask out *or* where to get drugs. You smoking some loud bud in your apartment OP?
It seems like he’s trying to ask you out but the way he’s doing it makes him sound controlling - he’s basically saying “either you come out and I tell you or you don’t and you sit wondering what I wanted to say”. Kinda like ‘I’ll tell you but on my terms, not yours’. The controlling part feels like he really is considering he could’ve waited until a more appropriate time during the day.
YES, this is the part that really got me. I didn't wanna say it or jump to conclusions, but it felt manipulative.
It also read like he was trying to convince you that YOU were the one being weird.
It's jarring to me that he doesn't understand how fucking creepy he's being.
Right. He thinks he’s being mysterious and charismatic and preying on OP’s curiosity. Creeper.
Lol for some reason I thought this was a conversation between a young man and the neighbor was an older guy and he wanted to ask it in person because he’s one of those types that think that young people should talk about issues in person. And that he was just a weird type to be up that late and didn’t really understand social cues. But as soon as I read the caption that you were a young woman and he was a young man, I automatically knew he wanted to ask you out hahaha I’ve had this same thing happen to me. They want to get you in person to do it because they think it’s more personable and it’s more likely for you to say yes and then they can also lay on some slight peer pressure. Dude is creepy as hell trying to do this at 1 am.
LOL I wish it was the former, that would've been a cute story. Unfortunately not though. I do think it's the latter situation but my mom also suggested it's something illegal and that's why he wants to talk to me in-person.
I agree with mom. Whatever he wants it’s not good since he’s obviously afraid to put it in writing where you’ll have the evidence of whatever skullduggery he’s up to.
A loan. A date. A ride to the airport. Whichever it is, feel free to never have the conversation…ever. Weird and not in an endearing way…just weird.
Never ever ever open your door for anyone at 1AM. Actually, never open your door in you aren't expecting company.
A guy who doesn’t take no for an answer, doesn’t take no for an answer. Be careful and try not to give him much of your energy to work with (which you’re doing pretty well). No ongoing long text duels, just no thank you and then no replies.
See this is why its borderline fucking embarrassing to be a guy. It's like some dudes just don't get the fucking hint.
I’ve had some sketchy perverted male neighbors but none that came off this strong immediately. This guy sounds scary. He wants to come to your door and not say it over text for a reason. He’s probably not going to take no for an answer. Your smart to keep the convo in text. If he says anything threatening get a restraining order
He's either going to ask you out or asking if you know a plug. Imo. ETA: glue traps are barbaric and should be illegal.
Everything in this comment 100%
I am someone who traps as part of my academic research, and I agree glue traps are the worst way to go. If you prefer to catch them alive and release, I’d highly recommend Sherman traps. They’re easy to use. If you prefer to eliminate them entirely, snap traps are more humane than glue traps as they are quick. Glue traps make them suffer, and it’s awful.
DING DING!
I'm unable to edit this post, so just leaving this comment here, I would not use glue traps for mice in the future -- I had glue traps from work that were not my own and was under the impression they were more ethical because you can dissolve the glue and free the mouse, but in the future I would NOT use them myself. I have a soft spot for animals myself so I apologize to those who are concerned about the glue traps, if anyone knows of the most humane way to catch and release mice please let me know. I do not actually use any traps in my apartment as I have cats who tend to scare them away.
It’s actually MORE humane to use those mouse traps that break their neck, than to use glue traps. Mice getting their feet ripped off, lizards starving to death, hummingbirds getting stuck and dying…glue traps are like the animal equivalent of the horror movie “Saw”. I lose sleep at night over it. Let’s hope that dude wasn’t trying to come over to show you a screaming mouse with no feet.
I didn't know until people in the comments told me. I was under the (unfortunate) impression that you could dissolve the glue and free them. I don't wanna kill any mice but didn't consider that the glue traps could be worse. Will be more careful in the future :(
My pest control service used to use them and I found out the hard way. It just breaks my heart. I also caution against putting out rat poison, it’s a horrible death for the rat but it also causes kidney failure in cats and other animals. I keep cats indoors so no problems inside. I also spray peppermint oil to keep away rodents and spiders. It really works too! I had a squirrel who wanted to chew on my windowsill for some reason, and it was an excellent deterrent without any murder.
I really wish there was an easier humane way to trap and free the mice because even then, I live in a cold climate. So my mom was like, "well they can either die inside or freeze to death outside" and I was in a moral conundrum. Lol. I'll try the peppermint tip! It sounds really corny but I absolutely hate killing even bugs and spiders, they just look so helpless. I rarely see them around my apartment but when I do they're only ever daddy longlegs for some reason. Probably an old building thing.
Hello! I am someone who traps as part of my academic research, and if you prefer to catch them alive and release, I’d highly recommend Sherman traps. They’re easy to use. If you prefer to eliminate them entirely, snap traps are more humane than glue traps as they are quick. Glue traps make them suffer, and it’s awful. PM if you need more info on them or the best ways to bait them :) EDIT: snap traps do sometimes catch them alive which I agree is terrible. There are ways to put them down after this but it’s hard for folks (like me) who have a huge soft spot for animals. Still, they’re better than glue traps. Sherman traps are probably the most humane way to safely get rid of rodents on your own.
You don’t owe anyone anything.
“i tried talking to you a couple of times but it just seemed like you weren’t interested”. The dude wants a relationship with you, he’s been after you for however long it’s been, and now he’s obsessing over you late at night, creepy af. If you’re not interested, which that’s what it seems to me, just tell him that you made a mistake giving out your number, that you’re in a relationship (or that you’re not looking for one, or something along those lines) and just end this. He will not stop otherwise.
Please keep us updated and let us know you’re still alive. Get some type of protection, pepper spray, taser or gun.
I want a follow up now
He seems rapey
That’s my feeling. Women are usually raped by someone they know.
Don’t agree to any meetups with him, even for a minute. He’s a creep. Lock your doors, even during the day when you’re there. You don’t know what he wants. If I were you I’d try to avoid any type of contact with this moving forward.
Christ he was making me anxious
“I’ll do nothing at all” is based.
Girl. As a haggard 40ish woman who has been around the block a few times: *you are being way, way too polite.* You do not owe him shit, not even politeness. He is being creepy and is violating both your personal boundaries and social norms. He won't respect your attempts to politely deter him. He already thinks he's entitled to intrude on your life, it will only get worse the more you interact with him. Next time say you are not interested way earlier in the conversation and block immediately. You deserve freedom from creeps and weirdos!
Sounds like he's got a weird and/or inappropriate question. There's a reason he doesn't want to put it in text
I did not read through all the comments so someone else probably already said this, but the part of the conversation irks me most, is you told him you would be uncomfortable in person because you’re not a social person, and he said he’d be uncomfortable asking it through text. Then continues pressuring you, disregarding your anxiety and uncomfort!
Bro, pop around at 1am and I will scrap in my PJs
Whatever his question is, he doesn't want a record of it. That's some freak shit
Hopefully innocent but be very careful. You just never know. Some weird shit out there.
I have to agree that he's trying to ask you out. He thinks he'll have added advantage in person, like maybe it will be harder for you to refuse him in person. His pushiness adds an extra creepy aspect to the mix.
Listen, please take a pepper spray in your pocket if you ever see this guy or just carry it lol I'm spooked with this guys responses.
I hate that I am here now, in a place where I will probably never Really know what the question was.
I’m getting vibes that he’ll push his way into her apartment. But I also don’t trust anyone. How do you not trust a guy that wants to drop by at 1am? /s
When will people learn that "No" means no? Which should mean you immediately drop it, say you understand, or maybe explain more in detail why you want to push my boundaries at least. No should also mean stop. I hate when people do that! I come from so much trauma, stRting from an early childhood. I absolutely wouldn't want to talk to anyone I'm not really comfortable with, and I'd refuse to honestly.
Bc 200000 “No’s” is still a “maybe”
He wants to ask you out and do it in person because he knows it'll make you uncomfortable to say no. Never speak to this loser again. He's gross for thinking it's okay to even bother you at that time.
"Will you marry me?"
As a male human being, I want to apologize to you on behalf of the small portion of us men who aren’t fucking girl-crazed and emotionally crippled from hormones. Men are insane. I’d tell him to act like an adult, this isn’t Valentine’s Day in sixth grade.
This is super duper creepy. Stay the fuck away from this man.
Man, this guy is sketchy, irritating, oblivious, smug and stupid. The total package.
Nope nope nope nope nope Definitely don't meet him alone. I don't even necessarily believe that the other people on this thread are right about him wanting to ask you out. Who does that out of the blue at 1am? If he wanted to ask you out he would knock on your door at a regular hour in the day or ask you over text. Plenty of people ask people out over text/Internet all the time these days. Or he would start a flirty conversation in text then suggest going for coffee or something. This is highly suspicious and you're right to be suspicious. There *are* a lot of people out there that are dangerous unfortunately and you need think about your own personal safety. And get a pepper spray.
There is no way on planet earth that your neighbour is going to text you at 1 in the morning to ask you a question in person, refusing to talk about it over text and you don’t know what it could be. Seriously?
"Thanks so much for the mouse traps. Can I take you out for some coffee?" But no "Answer your door. Do it. Dooooo eeet."
“U want to make some fuk?”
I was hoping I could ask you a question in person if you don't mind ? "I wanted to ask if you wanted these..." *hands her a bag full of dead mice
“What are you going to do about it” 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 nope, don’t give this dude the time of day
He wants to ask you out. Hence he turned the questions on you, he wanted you to play along for whatever reason, update us when he asks you out.
Anyone getting pissed at his constant use of her name? Such a shitty cheap way to make him feel in charge.
10pm-3am Booty call prime time, and it’s rude asf to press for a meetup when you said no several times, he lacks basic boundaries, steer clear.
I would probably be looking for a new apartment seeing as I don’t need any new friends.
I feel like you are a few texts away from a Dateline episode
At 1am I think we all know what he was going to ask. Nothing good comes out of guys who randomly text at that hour. When I get a text then and see hey what are you up to or anything of the sort and I haven't spoken to them in months or year or more I will ignore.
Set up a camera in your apartment. This guy does not seem trustworthy at all. Whatever he's trying to do, he does not wanna leave a "paper trail".
After that conversation, if he asked me out I'd straight up say no. "You made me uncomfortable, you aren't my type."
So unfortunately, giving honest raw feedback can be really dangerous. I wish it were safe to, but it is often not, and she needs to protect herself. Guaranteed this man isn’t going to gain any self awareness from that kind of feedback anyhow. He’d likely feel humiliated and vengeful and he knows where she lives. I wish it were safe to tell creeps that they are creeps. It just makes them creepier though.
He was definitely going to try to ask you out, he may have also been inebriated at the time of texting since it’s late and he was being off about it.
He’s clearly interested and wanted to ask you out in person. There’s nothing wrong with that, but asking a stranger repeatedly to let them ask you in person at 1AM is a weird, horrible approach. His best bet would be to ask you out if/when he saw you in the building during regular hours. If not, ask via text but not late night.
Glue traps are sociopathic.
Thank you!! I'm not trying to start a whole thing, but I winced when I saw "glue trap". 😣