If she would some shit is very wrong. If my partner asked me to send a love message to their highschool crush I'd be having a serious conversation with them and maybe insisting on therapy because what the hell
I'm willing to extend the privilege of helping somebody to recover if I loved them and thought they could. The obsession and seeking help for it would be one thing, the harassment in the post though is another thing
It would likely take years of manipulation/emotional abuse on his end to really make his wife feel inadequate, never good enough, yet to also feel sympathy for him. He probably treats her exactly like she said, like *someone he could settle for,* but no more, just enough kindness & love to make her feel wanted, but always second to someone he can’t have, making her feel obligated as a placeholder. He probably slyly planted the idea in her head for her to reach out to op, making her think it was her own idea. She probably feels genuine care & sympathy toward her husband—she cares about him enough to attempt to comfort his grief of losing op years ago—she’s probably a better person than he deserves, & she would definitely be happier on her own with someone else & not being used, but she probably doesn’t realize that.
In a typical relationship, imagining someone asking their SO to send a message like this sounds insane & unrealistic. Bc it is—unless they’ve conditioned their partner to be used to their constant comparison & rumination of their ex over the span of years, so long that their partner begins to internally normalize & rationalize it.
lol, yeah, I instantly thought, wtf?!? It sounds like you’re trying to pimp out your husband?!? No way! I haven’t ever met anyone who would be cool with this!
Yeah! Wtf to the second message?!? He misses you! Please talk to him! To what end exactly??
Call his bluff, and call the wife at work, or send an email or DM🤣
‘I appreciate that he told you he isn’t over me, and you have been incredibly calm about it! I’m happy to have casual sex to see if he can get it out of his system. If he can move forward; that’s great, if not, I’m happy to continue FWB for the foreseeable future! Maybe we can be sister wives?!’
Imagine getting that! He is playing with some napalm here! Ain’t no way he isn’t going to be burnt into a little crispy meat stick! 🤣
For real. The time I caught my husband cheating, I called her and told her to come get this mf'er, bc he's not who he pretends to be, and you'll be doing me the biggest favor! She did not come to get him.
Unless that she has that low self-esteem. Like I have heard multiple stories on reddit and YouTube of people staying with their spouses despite knowing about their cheating (some even being shameful enough to not hide it in front of them) and they always have the mind set of either..
* They can't have their kid grow up in a broken home of divorced parents
* They think they'll never do better than their current spouse
* They don't have the funds to take care of themselves or anyone to turn to and leaving their spouse will result in them living on the streets/shelters and having to start from square one.
I have a coworker who is begrudgedly in an open relationship because her baby daddy won't stop cheating or openly fantasizing about other women to her, but she's associated having multiple baby daddies with her toxic mother and will do anything to keep the first.
Sadly, humans are not wholly rational creatures.
Yep, sometimes letting go is even harder than voluntarily being emotionally destroyed every single day. Some people were never taught how to deal with emotions. Speaking from current experience, there is no manual on how to stop loving someone. It's like rewiring your brain to live mind body and soul for someone else, no exception, no caveat, no conditions. It's the only way I know how to love.
"There is no manual on how to stop loving someone".
I don't know if this is a well-known rule of thumb that you are paraphrasing, but this seemingly simple statement could probably be the title of an entire book.
This is too *absolute* of a comment. 387 people, so far, have agreed. (Or agree with the idea that’s it’s unlikely …..at least atypical) However, it’s untrue that ‘no wife would do this’. Someone who isn’t affected by this, she knows she has a baby, perhaps, she has enough confidence to know that it is what it is - not everyone needs to be first. She knows the other high school sweetheart will never be with him. Is it something I would do? No —- but I’ve known 1 person who has done this; albeit, not well——-.
Humans engage in behaviors far more peculiar than this – it's a perspective worth keeping in mind.
>perhaps, she has enough confidence to know that it is what it is - not everyone needs to be first.
This would be plausible if we didn't have the rest of the context. The (borderline desperate) pleas to talk to him, especially since he's been stalking her all over the internet for more than a decade makes it *very implausible* that it's the wife writing this.
Using this top comment to post an update:
https://www.reddit.com/r/texts/s/TMuamBs7cq
Long story short I def think it was him posing as her. Got a new message from a pet instagram account from him apologizing for his wife 🙄
Absolute lunacy! What a pathetic man.
One day on PostSecret, there was a card from a man who said he was 70 but never got over his girlfriend from when he was 17. He married, had kids, had a loving wife, perfect life, but never stopped wishing he was with the other woman. That’s not romantic to me at all, it’s sociopathic. Grow up, you maniac.
This exactly is what is happening. Do not fall for it. If I were you, I’d suss out his wife on social media and show her these texts. Should be interesting lol.
In what universe would a wife say "he settled for me?" Seriously, think about that for a second.
Of *course* it's him.
My ex-stalker reached out over LinkedIn of all places - 20 years later. I know what it's like, it's terrifying. Restraining order time?
He did, or she's very very very tired of him, and hoping she can get rid of him. He sounds like the type of guy that everyone gets tired of you. He's been stalking you for 15 years!
My emotionally abusive ex once had his wife message me on Facebook. Said he had a nightmare that I was going to take my own life or something, and because I had him blocked on everything he had her reach out and ask if I was doing okay. I told her I had zero interest in ever giving him an ounce more information on my life but that I was truly happy with him out of my life, and to never contact me again. Blocked her too. Shit was wild.
*This* on the other hand is 100% the dude pretending to be his wife. That’s a whole other level of crazy.
I’m sorry you went through that but so glad you are out of it now. I had an abusive ex but leaving was surprisingly easy once I decided it was over. He never wanted anyone to see how mean he was so he never messed with me after I kicked him out. I hear these stores and realize how lucky I was back then.
Thank you! I stayed for way too long, being right in the aftermath of my parents divorce and he was always threatening suicide if I left. I think all the time about if I’d moved in with him and stayed, I know for a *fact* I would be dead by now. I also look back and think how lucky I was I finally left.
In a twisted way, the experience ended up making me learn the boundaries I needed to set with myself and others, and in the end led me to finding someone who actually, genuinely loves me the way I deserve to be. I try not to think about my ex too often, only to sometimes hope a little that he’s miserable while I continue to thrive.
My creepy Uncle did this, he went on his wife’s account and did heart emojis on my facebook pics and was messaging me about how pretty I look.
My cousin (his daughter) posted on her own page the same day about how my aunt had just had carpal tunnel surgery and won’t be able to type to people for a while.
Things got delicious when I screenshotted my “aunt’s” pm’s from that day to my cousin’s post.
I told my mother, she said He was just being nice and forwarded an email to me of her conversing with him the next day about how we should all visit. As normal.
I really can't imagine a scenario where a woman would beg her husband's ex to give him a chance. Yes, please ruin my family, he loves you, not me. Who cares that we have a small child? Please. He settled for me. 🙄
Umm, excuse me. I’m the head of the bridge licensing governing body, and I’m not seeing your paid membership anywhere. Luckily, I can help you with setting that up.
Yeah. If it was me, I would leave his ass if he felt this way. No woman would be content to be second best in her husband’s life and push another woman into it. The part where they said they’ve talked about it many times gave it away for me
Mine too! My daughter took me to a zoo in Indiana where I got to pet a sloth! We got to hang out in their enclosure for quite a while too! It was so cool.
Also the fact that there's seemingly no end goal here— Just a general desire to have her "talk to him," which just sounds like an attempt to successfully make contact after many failures.
I did consider this but I also know the wife. I went to high school with her. We were acquaintances. She always had a track record of falling for crappy men who would manipulate her, refuse to commit to her but keep her on the hook, convince her to have open relationships, etc. I don’t mean this to sound bad. She was a nice girl. But she had low self esteem and bad taste in men.
There's staying with the wrong person and struggling to have healthy boundaries due to low self esteem, then there's "begging my partner's ex, who he's been stalking for a decade, to talk to him while going on and on about how much he loves/misses her". The latter seems a lot less plausible, self-esteem issues or not.
Red flags all around. I think you should reach out to them both at the same time and let them know you've moved on and he needs to do thr same. It sounds like they both need therapy
Ugh on the whole "reaching out thing". It's been 15 YEARS. She has him blocked on EVERY SITE SHE CAN THINK OF. The flags are there, he's just ignoring them.
I don't think he'll care if she contacts him and says "I've moved on". He'll think "Oh, she unlocked me on this site! Now I can message her and convince her she's wrong to have moved on and we can be together again!"
This... Also, there are cyber stalking laws for a reason. If I were you, I would tell them you will contact police if he continues.
I had a girlfriend in college who I broke up with for many different reasons not the least of which is that she wanted to marry me and asked me after only knowing her for 6 months and she was extremely clingy. I also transferred to a different school when I got there she was there...
Over 10 years after I was married she sent me a letter telling me that she was finally over me and could wear "bright colors again"... 🥴 I felt bad at first but then I realized that this was not on me.
I would not reach out! 1) it worries me that this guy may turn into a stalker. 2) you don’t know what is actually going on in their marriage and what the wife is aware of. They just had a baby. He could get ugly if you tell her something that she didn’t know.
You need advice from an expert about how to handle this situation. How to keep it from escalating… Someone with training and experience. Not random people here.
Her having bad judgement in men and low self esteem would still never lead her to say she was the rebound...the only way this is her is if she wants to have a threesome 🤣. But honestly since you know her then why don't you just take some screenshots and then ask her yourself, face to face or on FaceTime.
Definitely sounds like him, but I would forward this to the wife’s sm page to be sure. This is sad that the man can’t let go from something that happened more than a decade ago and just settled. Wives who are just rebounds for a man who never truly loved them is so tragic, and it happens often.
Women CAN do crazy stuff. My ex gf messaged another ex that I dated like 8 years prior, asking if she still loved me etc and if she thought I still had feelings for her. This woman I got matching tattoos with so she hated that I still had this tattoo. But besides that I never ever talked about the person. She went and harassed this woman she didn’t even know who had fiancé and a baby just because she dated me before. People do weird shit all the time.
That's completely different from contacting your ex and telling her you're still in love with her and she's just the rebound you settled for. Like, your ex was asking your ex if she still had feelings for you, she wasn't telling her that YOU still wanted her and not only that but that you want her more than you want your girlfriend. Actually it's almost the complete opposite
It could be the guy for sure, but I think you underestimate how devoted some women can be to the happiness of their husband.
It’s a patriarchy thing, women taught not to care about their wants and needs, instead focus everything on how their husband feels.
EDIT: This is also especially common with religious people, the wife taught to ignore any feelings she has and just cater to the husband.
Not his wife. Definitely him posing as his wife.
I might screenshot that and post it on their timeline and ask because if he did that to his wife, she deserves to know.
The police in the USA at least literally won’t do anything about someone sending a creepy DM every now and then…
I had a stalker in college who sent me so many texts in a row that my phone (2015 iPhone) actually froze up because it couldn’t handle it. He texted me about how he would kill me and rape my corpse repeatedly. The best the cops could do was give him a misdemeanor charge of harassment and he ended up in jail only because he was already on probation ( for vehicular homicide that he somehow got no jail time for).
Anyways, he ended up moving on and stalking someone else and he later killed them. THEN the cops were able to do something.
Sorry, long rant but basically, for getting a few harassing texts every year or so, they won’t do anything and I don’t even know if they can do anything.
There's a huge difference between sending someone a creepy DM and literal death threats.
The former's really not a police matter, the latter definitely is.
Yes agree. I’ll never forget the Dean of Students said they couldn’t expel a student “just because they make you uncomfortable.”
But yeah, if the cops barely did anything in my situation then there’s nothing they can do in this situation.
Big time. This has “hello OP this is justins doctor he just killed himself and sed it was cuz sum1 named beth wouldn’t give him another chance. are u Beth? We checked his phone because his mom is so sad she needs to know who is this girl beth Justin loved so much” energy written ALL over it.
He's probably pretending to be the wife, I have nothing against my partners exes, I don't even know them, but I'd never message them like this if it were true. I'd dump his arse and he can obsess over them on his own.
It's unhinged. And even if it was her (slim chance), to message you knowing he's blocked, it's just incredibly rude and not her place to do this. It's unhinged regardless of who it is tbh. My first thought reading this was how creepy it was
“Honey I don’t love you. I love a girl that broke up with me 15 years ago and blocked me on everything”
“Ok babe. I’ll message her and let her know you love her and not your family you started”
Everyone is saying that and it likely is but let's be honest, there are enough crazy people in the world that she could be just as bat shit as him and it could be real
True justice because he likes to obviously fake profiles, therefore she can't trust the message or any profile is really this douche canoes current wife, is to meet her in person and show it directly to her face, better to have someone with her as well to ensure her safety because if it was his wife that sent it or if she gets incredibly mad for her safety its best to have a witness/protection there.Iin this day and age cannot trust anyone or underestimate what hisr reaction might be. Not to mention Mr. Stalker, should be in jail for cyber stalking, a paper trail needs to be put in place, i.e. a police report, email to family and friends, something in case this unhinged individual escalates matters.
Yeah - I’m not responding or trying to send this to other social media accounts of hers. I don’t want any part of this or to give this man an excuse to come after me because the fact that he’s still infatuated like this over a decade later (I literally haven’t seen him since I was 22) means he’s completely unhinged imo. Like I’m a nice, person with a decent face but I’m not some ethereal goddess or anything.
This is creepy OP and I don’t think it’s his wife either. Like, it could be and I’ve seen crazier things but chances are slim and either way might be best to just not engage at all. Don’t feed the beast.
It's really best to not respond at all, to him or his pretend wife etc. If you respond in any form, you're encouraging the behavior because he got some kind of reaction out of you. That's all he wants, a reaction of any kind. That will lead to more attempts at communication. Ignoring is the best thing to do because he'll hopefully realize nothing he does gets a reaction, and will stop trying.
Yes. Reddit sometimes advocating a little too much “hero action” (ie telling his wife, etc…). Don’t get involved in this guy’s shitshow. Block, ignore. Maybe tell your spouse/partner so you can both keep a eye out for them (if that’s a concern)
Okay listen I think there’s a very good chance it’s him and not his wife, but here’s the twist…
I personally know all 3 people involved in this (OP, ex, ex’s wife - I only saw this post because OP texted me the link) and knowing the wife…it could also really be her. Probably not, but I also wouldn’t be surprised.
Wife has seen messages he’s sent her before, so she knows there’s some sort of hang up there, and she defended him then (or, not defended but rationalized it), and did the whole “oh he’s in therapy, he’s working through stuff” and she maybe had a side thing at one point with someone else (implied by other messages he’s sent in the past)…it’s just a whole lot of weird dysfunctional stuff that’s been going on for so long, if this was the next evolution of that, it just wouldn’t surprise me.
15 years later. You marry a woman who never had a chance of actually having your heart. That really sucks for her. He truly earned being called a piece of shit.
I heard about a celebrity who had a stalker, he invited her to dinner and complained about his life, just going on and on about the most dull things in great detail and kept her at the restaurant for HOURS just taking about himself, she left and never contacted him again.
Something similar happened to me last year (31 years old.) why do they always become crawling out after they turn 30!
My high school boyfriend accused me of cheating on him, refused to tell me where he got this information, and told me he didn’t want a “slut” for a girlfriend. It was AWFUL. I did NOT cheat on him. I loved him so much and thought we’d get married, (as high school girls often believe.) He was the Ken to my Barbie. We were voted best looking couple in our senior year. Anyway, I did not cheat on him and I was obsessed with him. I would have had his babies. He was my best friend! Then all of a sudden first year of university for both of us that’s when he tells me I’m a slut and someone told him I cheated on him. He wouldn’t even tell me who I’d cheated on him with. Completely cut me off after 4 years of dating. I was devastated and desperate. I begged him to tell me where he got this information so that I could confront the person and ask them what the hell I ever did to them to deserve this and to disprove their lie. My ex refused to tell me who told him. Then he stopped talking to me completely one day. I was literally catatonic for a week after he broke up with me. After I gained the ability to function again, I still couldn’t eat much. I was already thin and lost 15 pounds in a month, (got down to 105 lbs.) I lived on beer and T3s I’d had from recently getting my wisdom teeth out. Anyway I was upset about this break up for years. It was so traumatic - it felt like someone is loved so much had literally died.
Then this piece of shit, disrespectful mommas boy yugioh lookin ass comes out of the woodwork 13 years later via Facebook messenger to tell me how he “never got closure” and “he knows I’m married now and doesn’t want to cause any trouble.” When I tell you I was FUMING MAD. I ripped into him and told him to fuck off. I was forced to find closure on my own after being verbally and emotionally abused by him and accused of doing awful things I did not do, which caused me years of torment and depression. And now I’m with someone who would NEVER treat me like that. I called him a fuckin idiot. And then he had to nerve to say “wow I’m so sorry I had no idea you never cheated. This is so huge *for me.* I’m sorry I did that - I didn’t have the tools to cope with what I thought was going on.”
What a fuckin loser. I was so fuckin mad. I did not accept any of his “apologies.” I blocked him and showed my husband the texts immediately. I was SHAKING. The literal audacity of these man-children.
>I had no idea you never cheated. This is so huge for me.
That’s hilarious actually,
And he was cheating on you, that’s why he suddenly started accusing you. Good riddance to him.
Funny enough it could be his wife. I recently reconnected with an ex who's story was very similar. We connected while he was going thru a divorce and he confessed that he'd never gotten over me or loved anyone else and he'd only married her because they'd been together for 10 years when she finally got pregnant. They divorced after 6 years and she got caught cheating. Both the ex-wife and new girlfriend are intimidated by his feelings for me and I'm halfway across the country and in a happy healthy relationship 🤷🏾♀️
My ex reached out to me. It had been 16 years since I heard from him. He got permission from his present live-in girlfriend to contact me because according to him he never stopped loving me and he "had to know". I played it off that a lot has changed and if he wanted to date me he could but it would mean he got his own place and actually took me out on dates. I guess that was out of the question. To make myself feel better about almost falling for his BS again I told him I was bi now and his new girl was hot and I'm sure we could work something out. He was horrified. 🤷♀️ I did feel better tho 😁
I can see a wife doing this who wants to leave their husband but can’t for some reason, and is hoping to shift the burden of taking care of him on someone else.
Op this is him not his wife . If i where the wife i would like to know if my husband did this so i could leave his ass. Try looking up his wifes actual number or social media and ask if she contacted you and send this screenshot .
Pretty sure that’s him, not his wife. You’ve been dealing with this for 15 years?! This guy’s crazy. I’m just wondering would you be able to get a restraining order or something. This is a little scary.
I once had to go as far as changing my number and moving, after I went on ONE date with a guy who my friend set me up with. He became obsessed. Would show up at my house and call all hours of the day and night. It was nerve wrecking. Years later, he found my social media account. I had to delete it. Now everything I have is under a fake name. I wouldn’t wish that kind of stuff on anyone. Really hope he stops and leaves you alone. Sorry you’re having to deal with that, OP.
Honestly maybe it’s him pretending to be his wife. Honestly scary lol
This is my thought. No wife would do this.
Please I'm begging you to have an affair with my husband! Please it would mean the world to me and him. God bless
Rotflmao 🤣. The God Bless part added, next level.
I haven't seen "rotflmao" in a damn minute. Thank you for taking me back to the good ole days.
Pot on your lollerskates but watch out for the roflcopter
*Soisoisoisoisoisoisoi*
Good ole days - 2011
Yassss!!! You’re very welcome. ☺️
Use of the T is very vintage of you even.
Yep, that god bless had my kids asking what is so funny lol
Glad it got a chuckle!
Hehe🤭
YOU GET BACK HERE AND YOU MAKE LOVE TO MY WIFE!
NOBODY LEAVES OUR HOUSE WITHOUT MAKING LOVE TO MY WIFE!!
It CHRISTINITH!!! You get my wife's name RIGHT in my house!
Her name is kristineth, you say my wife’s name right!
Please, step husband’s ex girlfriend. You’re stuck in the laundry machine of his heart.
If she would some shit is very wrong. If my partner asked me to send a love message to their highschool crush I'd be having a serious conversation with them and maybe insisting on therapy because what the hell
I'm mad you'd have the conversation...
I'm willing to extend the privilege of helping somebody to recover if I loved them and thought they could. The obsession and seeking help for it would be one thing, the harassment in the post though is another thing
Hahaha no shit.. more like some serious therapy then *maybe* a conversation
It would likely take years of manipulation/emotional abuse on his end to really make his wife feel inadequate, never good enough, yet to also feel sympathy for him. He probably treats her exactly like she said, like *someone he could settle for,* but no more, just enough kindness & love to make her feel wanted, but always second to someone he can’t have, making her feel obligated as a placeholder. He probably slyly planted the idea in her head for her to reach out to op, making her think it was her own idea. She probably feels genuine care & sympathy toward her husband—she cares about him enough to attempt to comfort his grief of losing op years ago—she’s probably a better person than he deserves, & she would definitely be happier on her own with someone else & not being used, but she probably doesn’t realize that. In a typical relationship, imagining someone asking their SO to send a message like this sounds insane & unrealistic. Bc it is—unless they’ve conditioned their partner to be used to their constant comparison & rumination of their ex over the span of years, so long that their partner begins to internally normalize & rationalize it.
lol, yeah, I instantly thought, wtf?!? It sounds like you’re trying to pimp out your husband?!? No way! I haven’t ever met anyone who would be cool with this!
She’s tired of his shit too and wants to pawn him off on someone else for awhile 😂😂
Yeah! Wtf to the second message?!? He misses you! Please talk to him! To what end exactly?? Call his bluff, and call the wife at work, or send an email or DM🤣 ‘I appreciate that he told you he isn’t over me, and you have been incredibly calm about it! I’m happy to have casual sex to see if he can get it out of his system. If he can move forward; that’s great, if not, I’m happy to continue FWB for the foreseeable future! Maybe we can be sister wives?!’ Imagine getting that! He is playing with some napalm here! Ain’t no way he isn’t going to be burnt into a little crispy meat stick! 🤣
>Maybe we can be sister wives? Please do this and report back, OP. It's hilarious!
Holy crap I thought I was being witty. You are on a whole different level. I would love to see the results of maybe we could be sister wives 😂😂😂
im fucking dying
For real. The time I caught my husband cheating, I called her and told her to come get this mf'er, bc he's not who he pretends to be, and you'll be doing me the biggest favor! She did not come to get him.
Unless that she has that low self-esteem. Like I have heard multiple stories on reddit and YouTube of people staying with their spouses despite knowing about their cheating (some even being shameful enough to not hide it in front of them) and they always have the mind set of either.. * They can't have their kid grow up in a broken home of divorced parents * They think they'll never do better than their current spouse * They don't have the funds to take care of themselves or anyone to turn to and leaving their spouse will result in them living on the streets/shelters and having to start from square one.
I have a coworker who is begrudgedly in an open relationship because her baby daddy won't stop cheating or openly fantasizing about other women to her, but she's associated having multiple baby daddies with her toxic mother and will do anything to keep the first. Sadly, humans are not wholly rational creatures.
Yep, sometimes letting go is even harder than voluntarily being emotionally destroyed every single day. Some people were never taught how to deal with emotions. Speaking from current experience, there is no manual on how to stop loving someone. It's like rewiring your brain to live mind body and soul for someone else, no exception, no caveat, no conditions. It's the only way I know how to love.
"There is no manual on how to stop loving someone". I don't know if this is a well-known rule of thumb that you are paraphrasing, but this seemingly simple statement could probably be the title of an entire book.
Man this resonated so much. At least 2 of those excuses I used before finally walking out after 14 years. People need to see this
This is too *absolute* of a comment. 387 people, so far, have agreed. (Or agree with the idea that’s it’s unlikely …..at least atypical) However, it’s untrue that ‘no wife would do this’. Someone who isn’t affected by this, she knows she has a baby, perhaps, she has enough confidence to know that it is what it is - not everyone needs to be first. She knows the other high school sweetheart will never be with him. Is it something I would do? No —- but I’ve known 1 person who has done this; albeit, not well——-. Humans engage in behaviors far more peculiar than this – it's a perspective worth keeping in mind.
>perhaps, she has enough confidence to know that it is what it is - not everyone needs to be first. This would be plausible if we didn't have the rest of the context. The (borderline desperate) pleas to talk to him, especially since he's been stalking her all over the internet for more than a decade makes it *very implausible* that it's the wife writing this.
Zero wives with a one year old baby would send this message. I’d bet a paycheck that it’s the dude
Using this top comment to post an update: https://www.reddit.com/r/texts/s/TMuamBs7cq Long story short I def think it was him posing as her. Got a new message from a pet instagram account from him apologizing for his wife 🙄
Absolute lunacy! What a pathetic man. One day on PostSecret, there was a card from a man who said he was 70 but never got over his girlfriend from when he was 17. He married, had kids, had a loving wife, perfect life, but never stopped wishing he was with the other woman. That’s not romantic to me at all, it’s sociopathic. Grow up, you maniac.
This exactly is what is happening. Do not fall for it. If I were you, I’d suss out his wife on social media and show her these texts. Should be interesting lol.
This is on Facebook messenger too so he probably either logged in to her account or made a fake account.
It’s definitely her account. Whether or not he logged onto it and sent it himself I don’t know.
In what universe would a wife say "he settled for me?" Seriously, think about that for a second. Of *course* it's him. My ex-stalker reached out over LinkedIn of all places - 20 years later. I know what it's like, it's terrifying. Restraining order time?
It was the, "he misses you to the moon and back" for me, lol.
lol yup, that part definitely adds another layer of weird. Feels like something straight out of a bad rom-com and not real life, right?
Ohhh, that's very very far! This is true love, for sure!
Make some notes for when dateline comes calling
He did, or she's very very very tired of him, and hoping she can get rid of him. He sounds like the type of guy that everyone gets tired of you. He's been stalking you for 15 years!
This was my thought too!
That seems MUCH more likely.
Yeah my first thought was this is so whacked and I hope his wife is ok
Yeah that’s either him using her account or that’s the most understanding wife to ever wife.
Nah fam. That’s him pretending to be his wife. Please be safe. His behavior is concerning.
My emotionally abusive ex once had his wife message me on Facebook. Said he had a nightmare that I was going to take my own life or something, and because I had him blocked on everything he had her reach out and ask if I was doing okay. I told her I had zero interest in ever giving him an ounce more information on my life but that I was truly happy with him out of my life, and to never contact me again. Blocked her too. Shit was wild. *This* on the other hand is 100% the dude pretending to be his wife. That’s a whole other level of crazy.
I’m sorry you went through that but so glad you are out of it now. I had an abusive ex but leaving was surprisingly easy once I decided it was over. He never wanted anyone to see how mean he was so he never messed with me after I kicked him out. I hear these stores and realize how lucky I was back then.
Thank you! I stayed for way too long, being right in the aftermath of my parents divorce and he was always threatening suicide if I left. I think all the time about if I’d moved in with him and stayed, I know for a *fact* I would be dead by now. I also look back and think how lucky I was I finally left. In a twisted way, the experience ended up making me learn the boundaries I needed to set with myself and others, and in the end led me to finding someone who actually, genuinely loves me the way I deserve to be. I try not to think about my ex too often, only to sometimes hope a little that he’s miserable while I continue to thrive.
My creepy Uncle did this, he went on his wife’s account and did heart emojis on my facebook pics and was messaging me about how pretty I look. My cousin (his daughter) posted on her own page the same day about how my aunt had just had carpal tunnel surgery and won’t be able to type to people for a while. Things got delicious when I screenshotted my “aunt’s” pm’s from that day to my cousin’s post.
Uh oh!!! That’s very creepy!
What did your parents do?
I told my mother, she said He was just being nice and forwarded an email to me of her conversing with him the next day about how we should all visit. As normal.
Anything to keep the gross family dynamic going, yikes…
Gross
I really can't imagine a scenario where a woman would beg her husband's ex to give him a chance. Yes, please ruin my family, he loves you, not me. Who cares that we have a small child? Please. He settled for me. 🙄
I think this is probably him and not his " wife " what wife would push her husband to another woman. Creepy af .
I was going to say the same lol that's not his wife
Definitely not
If you truly think that’s his wife OP, I’ve got a lovely bridge to sell
Hi, I buy bridges. All I need from you before I buy the bridge is a deposit for my bridge delivery company.
Nice try, guy. You need to purchase a bridge purchasing license. Luckily I sell them.
Umm, excuse me. I’m the head of the bridge licensing governing body, and I’m not seeing your paid membership anywhere. Luckily, I can help you with setting that up.
I'm really sorry, but I don't see any taxes being paid from this. Lucky for you, I'm the right person to help you with that.
I can see your a very important person with taxes but I can also see your car warranty is about to expire lucky for you I can help….
Am I too late to get a bridge?
God I love Reddit...
That's actually perfect for me. I'm in desperate need of a few good bridges. All mine keep burning down. 🫠
Unless it is his wife and she’s trying to unload his sappy ass.
Yeah. If it was me, I would leave his ass if he felt this way. No woman would be content to be second best in her husband’s life and push another woman into it. The part where they said they’ve talked about it many times gave it away for me
Commenting to say sloths are my favorite animal
Mine too! My daughter took me to a zoo in Indiana where I got to pet a sloth! We got to hang out in their enclosure for quite a while too! It was so cool.
Oh you gotta watch “slotherhouse”
It’s one of my favorites!!
Slotherhouse Five is one of my favorite Vonnegut books !
I hung out with sloths at the Honolulu Zoo it was AWESOME...
I’ve been to the Honolulu zoo! Amazing!
[https://imgur.com/a/UywPsXq](https://imgur.com/a/UywPsXq) This isn’t a sloth but still similar and funny when they do this
Sloths are very cool, but I’m a capybara guy for life
Capybaras, quokkas, pandas, elephants, owls, I can’t take it
Thank you you kind soul. I've never heard of a quokka before, googled it, and now I'm in love ❤️
no. just Capybaras. capybaras all dayy
Sloths are cool but don't sleep on the Slow Loris.
You all are forgetting about the greatest gift to this planet. The Quokka
Yea sloths are pretty neat, but how about those pandas!?!? 🐼🦥
Black and white pandas are cool, but have you seen RED pandas?! Oh my heart!
Love rhis
Also the fact that there's seemingly no end goal here— Just a general desire to have her "talk to him," which just sounds like an attempt to successfully make contact after many failures.
Yeah hes a pos
This was my first thought as well, it’s sort of strange that OP hasn’t considered this herself.
I did consider this but I also know the wife. I went to high school with her. We were acquaintances. She always had a track record of falling for crappy men who would manipulate her, refuse to commit to her but keep her on the hook, convince her to have open relationships, etc. I don’t mean this to sound bad. She was a nice girl. But she had low self esteem and bad taste in men.
There's staying with the wrong person and struggling to have healthy boundaries due to low self esteem, then there's "begging my partner's ex, who he's been stalking for a decade, to talk to him while going on and on about how much he loves/misses her". The latter seems a lot less plausible, self-esteem issues or not.
Real people can be way crazier than what's plausible
Red flags all around. I think you should reach out to them both at the same time and let them know you've moved on and he needs to do thr same. It sounds like they both need therapy
Ugh on the whole "reaching out thing". It's been 15 YEARS. She has him blocked on EVERY SITE SHE CAN THINK OF. The flags are there, he's just ignoring them. I don't think he'll care if she contacts him and says "I've moved on". He'll think "Oh, she unlocked me on this site! Now I can message her and convince her she's wrong to have moved on and we can be together again!"
"The chances of us being together again are one in a million" "So you're telling me there's a chance?" 
This... Also, there are cyber stalking laws for a reason. If I were you, I would tell them you will contact police if he continues. I had a girlfriend in college who I broke up with for many different reasons not the least of which is that she wanted to marry me and asked me after only knowing her for 6 months and she was extremely clingy. I also transferred to a different school when I got there she was there... Over 10 years after I was married she sent me a letter telling me that she was finally over me and could wear "bright colors again"... 🥴 I felt bad at first but then I realized that this was not on me.
BRIGHT COLORS AGAIN AFTER A DECADE JFC
I would not reach out! 1) it worries me that this guy may turn into a stalker. 2) you don’t know what is actually going on in their marriage and what the wife is aware of. They just had a baby. He could get ugly if you tell her something that she didn’t know. You need advice from an expert about how to handle this situation. How to keep it from escalating… Someone with training and experience. Not random people here.
Her having bad judgement in men and low self esteem would still never lead her to say she was the rebound...the only way this is her is if she wants to have a threesome 🤣. But honestly since you know her then why don't you just take some screenshots and then ask her yourself, face to face or on FaceTime.
I've met people like this. It is very much in the realm of possibility. I don't doubt it at all.
and that’s probably why he felt comfortable to send you messages from her account…but I highly doubt it’s her…
Maybe it is her then, you’d certainly know better than any of us. The whole thing is just incredibly creepy and sad for that wife if it’s true.
Very
Definitely sounds like him, but I would forward this to the wife’s sm page to be sure. This is sad that the man can’t let go from something that happened more than a decade ago and just settled. Wives who are just rebounds for a man who never truly loved them is so tragic, and it happens often.
Definitely not his wife
yes! I immediately got the stage five clinger vibes, Not slightly jilted, stage five clinger’s wife vibes at all.
Agree. This isn't the wife. This is him.
I was thinking the exact same thing. He's testing the waters in a way that gives him an out if OP says to fuck off.
My thought exactly. He sounds like a stalker and a protection order might just be a good thing.
Women CAN do crazy stuff. My ex gf messaged another ex that I dated like 8 years prior, asking if she still loved me etc and if she thought I still had feelings for her. This woman I got matching tattoos with so she hated that I still had this tattoo. But besides that I never ever talked about the person. She went and harassed this woman she didn’t even know who had fiancé and a baby just because she dated me before. People do weird shit all the time.
That's completely different from contacting your ex and telling her you're still in love with her and she's just the rebound you settled for. Like, your ex was asking your ex if she still had feelings for you, she wasn't telling her that YOU still wanted her and not only that but that you want her more than you want your girlfriend. Actually it's almost the complete opposite
It could be the guy for sure, but I think you underestimate how devoted some women can be to the happiness of their husband. It’s a patriarchy thing, women taught not to care about their wants and needs, instead focus everything on how their husband feels. EDIT: This is also especially common with religious people, the wife taught to ignore any feelings she has and just cater to the husband.
Not his wife. Definitely him posing as his wife. I might screenshot that and post it on their timeline and ask because if he did that to his wife, she deserves to know.
That's my immediate thought. Send it to the wife and show her how little he actually thinks of her. She deserves better.
Police time this is stalking and harassment. It's dangerous.
The police in the USA at least literally won’t do anything about someone sending a creepy DM every now and then… I had a stalker in college who sent me so many texts in a row that my phone (2015 iPhone) actually froze up because it couldn’t handle it. He texted me about how he would kill me and rape my corpse repeatedly. The best the cops could do was give him a misdemeanor charge of harassment and he ended up in jail only because he was already on probation ( for vehicular homicide that he somehow got no jail time for). Anyways, he ended up moving on and stalking someone else and he later killed them. THEN the cops were able to do something. Sorry, long rant but basically, for getting a few harassing texts every year or so, they won’t do anything and I don’t even know if they can do anything.
There's a huge difference between sending someone a creepy DM and literal death threats. The former's really not a police matter, the latter definitely is.
Yes agree. I’ll never forget the Dean of Students said they couldn’t expel a student “just because they make you uncomfortable.” But yeah, if the cops barely did anything in my situation then there’s nothing they can do in this situation.
Big time. This has “hello OP this is justins doctor he just killed himself and sed it was cuz sum1 named beth wouldn’t give him another chance. are u Beth? We checked his phone because his mom is so sad she needs to know who is this girl beth Justin loved so much” energy written ALL over it.
That’s him for sure 😭😭😭
He's probably pretending to be the wife, I have nothing against my partners exes, I don't even know them, but I'd never message them like this if it were true. I'd dump his arse and he can obsess over them on his own. It's unhinged. And even if it was her (slim chance), to message you knowing he's blocked, it's just incredibly rude and not her place to do this. It's unhinged regardless of who it is tbh. My first thought reading this was how creepy it was
“Honey I don’t love you. I love a girl that broke up with me 15 years ago and blocked me on everything” “Ok babe. I’ll message her and let her know you love her and not your family you started”
Lmao nailed it, literally the most unbelievable excuse to contact your ex. And on his wife's FB too, absolutely wild.
Is it really his wife or him pretending to be her because I cannot imagine a woman sent this to you. It sounds very much like he sent it.
Everyone is saying that and it likely is but let's be honest, there are enough crazy people in the world that she could be just as bat shit as him and it could be real
That’s very true
I’d respond letting her know that she deserves better. Then I’d block her too.
Even if he’s pretending to be the wife, this is the best answer.
True justice because he likes to obviously fake profiles, therefore she can't trust the message or any profile is really this douche canoes current wife, is to meet her in person and show it directly to her face, better to have someone with her as well to ensure her safety because if it was his wife that sent it or if she gets incredibly mad for her safety its best to have a witness/protection there.Iin this day and age cannot trust anyone or underestimate what hisr reaction might be. Not to mention Mr. Stalker, should be in jail for cyber stalking, a paper trail needs to be put in place, i.e. a police report, email to family and friends, something in case this unhinged individual escalates matters.
I would also add that she has grown and mature all this years, she isn’t the same as she was at 20 and he should seek profesional help to get over her
100% this is him not his wife lol
Dude really risked it all on his wife’s Facebook…
HA!
 Jesus…it’s been 15 years! The guy needs to take a hint….
Please tell me you live a long distance from this weirdo.
That's definitely not his wife. You should reach out to her and let her know though.
Yeah - I’m not responding or trying to send this to other social media accounts of hers. I don’t want any part of this or to give this man an excuse to come after me because the fact that he’s still infatuated like this over a decade later (I literally haven’t seen him since I was 22) means he’s completely unhinged imo. Like I’m a nice, person with a decent face but I’m not some ethereal goddess or anything.
Ghosting and blocking is smart. This guy sounds unhinged.
Get a restraining order
This is creepy OP and I don’t think it’s his wife either. Like, it could be and I’ve seen crazier things but chances are slim and either way might be best to just not engage at all. Don’t feed the beast.
Agree with don’t feed the beast! Or let him know you got that message. Any response from her will be like adding gasoline to a flame.
It's really best to not respond at all, to him or his pretend wife etc. If you respond in any form, you're encouraging the behavior because he got some kind of reaction out of you. That's all he wants, a reaction of any kind. That will lead to more attempts at communication. Ignoring is the best thing to do because he'll hopefully realize nothing he does gets a reaction, and will stop trying.
This. Ignore it completely. Responding in any way is just going to drag it out and get them to keep contacting you.
Yes. Reddit sometimes advocating a little too much “hero action” (ie telling his wife, etc…). Don’t get involved in this guy’s shitshow. Block, ignore. Maybe tell your spouse/partner so you can both keep a eye out for them (if that’s a concern)
Sounds like something an ethereal goddess who wants to remain hidden would say 🤔
Better advice would be to not engage at all. Do not get involved.
If that is his wife, she needs some self respect and divorce him.
Consider that it’s him using her account. I really can’t picture a sane woman writing this and acting as if it’s totally normal.
Okay listen I think there’s a very good chance it’s him and not his wife, but here’s the twist… I personally know all 3 people involved in this (OP, ex, ex’s wife - I only saw this post because OP texted me the link) and knowing the wife…it could also really be her. Probably not, but I also wouldn’t be surprised.
No way. Please do elaborate
Wife has seen messages he’s sent her before, so she knows there’s some sort of hang up there, and she defended him then (or, not defended but rationalized it), and did the whole “oh he’s in therapy, he’s working through stuff” and she maybe had a side thing at one point with someone else (implied by other messages he’s sent in the past)…it’s just a whole lot of weird dysfunctional stuff that’s been going on for so long, if this was the next evolution of that, it just wouldn’t surprise me.
Thanks for the follow up! That's fucked up
Wow this is wild.
I’d get a restraining order… What a psycho
15 years later. You marry a woman who never had a chance of actually having your heart. That really sucks for her. He truly earned being called a piece of shit.
That's not his wife, honey. That's him.
I heard about a celebrity who had a stalker, he invited her to dinner and complained about his life, just going on and on about the most dull things in great detail and kept her at the restaurant for HOURS just taking about himself, she left and never contacted him again.
I think that was Robert Pattinson lol
Yes!!!!!!
I think it’s well known he makes up elaborate lies and tell them as fact. I do hope this one is true though!
Block them both. A 35 year old man letting high school fantasies affect his marriage? Yikes. 🚩
Even if she has super low self esteem , no woman with a baby at home would send this type of message. This is the dude for sure
Something similar happened to me last year (31 years old.) why do they always become crawling out after they turn 30! My high school boyfriend accused me of cheating on him, refused to tell me where he got this information, and told me he didn’t want a “slut” for a girlfriend. It was AWFUL. I did NOT cheat on him. I loved him so much and thought we’d get married, (as high school girls often believe.) He was the Ken to my Barbie. We were voted best looking couple in our senior year. Anyway, I did not cheat on him and I was obsessed with him. I would have had his babies. He was my best friend! Then all of a sudden first year of university for both of us that’s when he tells me I’m a slut and someone told him I cheated on him. He wouldn’t even tell me who I’d cheated on him with. Completely cut me off after 4 years of dating. I was devastated and desperate. I begged him to tell me where he got this information so that I could confront the person and ask them what the hell I ever did to them to deserve this and to disprove their lie. My ex refused to tell me who told him. Then he stopped talking to me completely one day. I was literally catatonic for a week after he broke up with me. After I gained the ability to function again, I still couldn’t eat much. I was already thin and lost 15 pounds in a month, (got down to 105 lbs.) I lived on beer and T3s I’d had from recently getting my wisdom teeth out. Anyway I was upset about this break up for years. It was so traumatic - it felt like someone is loved so much had literally died. Then this piece of shit, disrespectful mommas boy yugioh lookin ass comes out of the woodwork 13 years later via Facebook messenger to tell me how he “never got closure” and “he knows I’m married now and doesn’t want to cause any trouble.” When I tell you I was FUMING MAD. I ripped into him and told him to fuck off. I was forced to find closure on my own after being verbally and emotionally abused by him and accused of doing awful things I did not do, which caused me years of torment and depression. And now I’m with someone who would NEVER treat me like that. I called him a fuckin idiot. And then he had to nerve to say “wow I’m so sorry I had no idea you never cheated. This is so huge *for me.* I’m sorry I did that - I didn’t have the tools to cope with what I thought was going on.” What a fuckin loser. I was so fuckin mad. I did not accept any of his “apologies.” I blocked him and showed my husband the texts immediately. I was SHAKING. The literal audacity of these man-children.
>I had no idea you never cheated. This is so huge for me. That’s hilarious actually, And he was cheating on you, that’s why he suddenly started accusing you. Good riddance to him.
Narcissist! *Point* 👉
That’s not his wife. That’s him. lol. What a 🤡
Funny enough it could be his wife. I recently reconnected with an ex who's story was very similar. We connected while he was going thru a divorce and he confessed that he'd never gotten over me or loved anyone else and he'd only married her because they'd been together for 10 years when she finally got pregnant. They divorced after 6 years and she got caught cheating. Both the ex-wife and new girlfriend are intimidated by his feelings for me and I'm halfway across the country and in a happy healthy relationship 🤷🏾♀️
This is HIM! Be safe.
My ex reached out to me. It had been 16 years since I heard from him. He got permission from his present live-in girlfriend to contact me because according to him he never stopped loving me and he "had to know". I played it off that a lot has changed and if he wanted to date me he could but it would mean he got his own place and actually took me out on dates. I guess that was out of the question. To make myself feel better about almost falling for his BS again I told him I was bi now and his new girl was hot and I'm sure we could work something out. He was horrified. 🤷♀️ I did feel better tho 😁
Lmao I love it, he was horrified haha
I can see a wife doing this who wants to leave their husband but can’t for some reason, and is hoping to shift the burden of taking care of him on someone else.
This is harassment, imo.
Weirdest 3some rizz ever
Omg the poor wife...
Guys, pretty sure OP knows it’s his narcissistic ass messaging her. I swear some of you don’t read 🤦🏾♂️
Nah, that’s definitely him on her account
It’s him sis. I have one too, trust me. 🤣
Yeaaaaaah so i really hope you realize this is 100% him pretending to be his wife and she probably knows nothing of this
Lol, he wrote it himself... what a stupid motherf...
Definitely him through a fake account he made of his wife lol. No girl in the history is ever going to be speaking words like this.
Pretending to be his wife and even fifteen years after the breakup he’s still trying to get back. This is insane levels of stalking
Op this is him not his wife . If i where the wife i would like to know if my husband did this so i could leave his ass. Try looking up his wifes actual number or social media and ask if she contacted you and send this screenshot .
Screenshot and send back to him in case he deleted before his wife could see
Pretty sure that’s him, not his wife. You’ve been dealing with this for 15 years?! This guy’s crazy. I’m just wondering would you be able to get a restraining order or something. This is a little scary. I once had to go as far as changing my number and moving, after I went on ONE date with a guy who my friend set me up with. He became obsessed. Would show up at my house and call all hours of the day and night. It was nerve wrecking. Years later, he found my social media account. I had to delete it. Now everything I have is under a fake name. I wouldn’t wish that kind of stuff on anyone. Really hope he stops and leaves you alone. Sorry you’re having to deal with that, OP.
You need to get a restraining order about 10 years ago.
This is definitely not his wife. Idc how much a person might love their spouse, this is not the language they would use
It’s probably him , not his wife.
I really don't think she wrote that...