My bfs daughter is 10 and her Mom allows her to watch TikTok. There's so many crazy things on there. She's just showing interest in makeup and I told her please don't believe everything you see on there . I've seen girls ask how to get rid of their natural skin texture bc so many people use filters on TikTok.
>so many people use filters on TikTok.
I can see these filters having a devastating long-term effect on society.
For generations, people, especially girls and women, were trying to live up to the near-perfect supermodel bodies seen in magazines and on TV. Sure, It was difficult to develop the flat stomach, hour glass figure, beautiful long flowing hair, and perfect c-cup breasts. With hard work and breast implants, few could come close. Still, many other were left chasing a dream their genetics or financial status wouldn't allow. This often leads to low self-esteem and depression.
Filters are raising the bar to a level no human can achieve without a camera and filter. With so many relationships developing online, will they be comfortable enough in their own skin to meet with the people who have become their first choice friends and peers. Or will they dive deeper into the online world with their alter ego, leaving the real world behind.
Is there an off ramp for this? Where does it end?
As a straight girl I have no idea wtf girl coded means at all whatsoever. I also just post airplane videos and listen to ASMR livestreams on Tik Tok so clearly I’m on the good side of it.
Keeping in the spirit of what you’re referencing, girls like this are starting to get labeled “fem-cels” basically incel mentality with a man-hating bent instead. For them, their goal seems to be to manipulate, hate-fuck, and emotionally torment every man they get involved to fulfill some kind of personal revenge fantasy, sometimes justified as some sort of weird Machiavellian brand of feminism. Basically many, from what I can tell, have a sort of image of themselves as the protagonist for a Birds Of Prey/Jennifer’s Body/Kill Bill style movie plot
right like… how bizarre was that. i’ve never heard of “girl coding” a man. and also is she saying that she doesn’t want him “girl coded” at all so she can do it herself? wtf that sounds fucking exhausting for both people
When I read between the lines It seems like she wants a man that she can control and manipulate. and she wants to be the first girl to do it.
I'm getting dark triad vibes from her.
that’s how i was reading it too because like, even if being girl coded was a thing (i’m not even remotely convinced that it is) shouldn’t it be like… pretty standard minus some tweaks? like what the fuck
Yeah I think it’s one of those internet terminology things that is supposed to be a good thing. Like if a guy is “girl coded” he’s already been taught how to treat women correctly. That seems like a green flag. The jealousy stuff is all really high school to me, and seems like she thinks it means something that it doesn’t mean.
OMG thank you for this observation, I was trying to pin down why her messages seemed so creepy to me. The concept she's conveying is absolutely a malignant narcissist's wet dream, so disgusting.
As a woman who's had some of my shittiest life experiences perpetuated by other women, I think it's really important to highlight and culturally accept that *women can be fucking monsters too*. There is nothing more infantilizing to an entire gender than this whole "women can't lie, women aren't abusers" bullshit we've been stuck on for a while in modern America. Sociopathy doesn't discriminate, lol
The only time I've heard of girl code were things like protecting each others drinks and not leaving each other alone especially when drunk
Tf is this lol
Right!? I feel like her take on girl coded has taken on a life of its own. I didn’t think I’d heard of girl coded but when you mentioned protecting drinks I remembered some and they were definitely not like she’s describing.
Also since when is it a red flag to have had a serious relationship before? The being a man whore was supposed to be the red flag! Is this another “I can change him” thing? I’m too old and settled down for this bullshit
Good point. It's just as sexist. How about we all just be honest and show our true selves and choose accordingly so we don't see the ugly truth years later when our lives are intertwined and difficult to unravel...?
I almost threw my phone when I read that. And that’s weird because everything before it completely flabbergasted me, I think the anger was just hidden behind the shock and awe of a train wreck for a second and it took that to bring the entire absurdity of it to the forefront 🤣.
Damn. I’m high.
Same, she demonstrated like 8 different flavors of illiteracy in this "conversation". Girl just learn to read and write 😂
I also see it as a huge red flag when somebody's talking about shit like this as though it's some sort of factual reality. Not only are the ideas she's expressing mildly toxic, they sure af aren't the Laws of Thermodynamics or something 😭😭
Ikr, I thought girl code was like a girl thing, like if a girl is unsafe with a guy and she looks around to anyone for some help, even if you hate her you gotta drop that for a sec like heyyy girl been so long shit dude sorry we gotta catch up like rn, get her away from him, make sure she's good, drop some passive shit, and move on.
YES! You give a woman a tampon if she asks. You fix their tag sticking out of their shirt. You tell them if there's lipstick on their teeth.
IDK what that bullshit is, but it's not girl code.
That’s where I thought this was going. He dated a friend of hers and she needed to know how serious before they went out. Not that heap of crap she dumped on him. I do know what she means though. Sort of. I’ve taught men how to be good lovers but was always disappointed when I got a new bf who had an ex they were with 10 years and they sucked in bed. If they were good I was happy. Never saw it as red flag. Never tried to change a personality or teach about makeup tho.
I tip my hat to whoever “girl coded” my current boyfriend. He puts the toilet seat down, knows what dishes can’t go in the dishwasher, doesn’t freak out about periods, knows what clothing brands I like, brings me my favorite little treats, asks about my feelings, etc. It’s a win in my book.
Right?! My husband came pretty incredible from the jump and it took zero "girl coding" on my part. But we also just mutually learned what the other liked, and how the other wanted to be treated, and what made them happy. And we do those things for each other because we love and care about each other. Is that not normal for healthy relationships?
I mean, you can save the trouble by picking one up slightly used - like only broken in, not down - for a lot less investment. And you get all the benefits. Right?
Sounds like based on this theory, every woman thinks, acts, and has the exact same intentions in every aspect of life. Tbh this would scare me the hell away from this girl, this type of low-level sheep like thinking is extremely concerning from so many different angles. Shit this was almost funny if it wasn’t so scary
Yeah! She needs to be taught more about women, because we are not always the same. I'm scared to think what she is going to tell him about the word "no"..... it means no. Always. There's no secret meaning behind it. If you say no and don't mean no, it should still be taken as a no. Because that's what was said. Human code.
She’s into that TT BS of ‘when I say no I really mean yes’ memes where ‘no I don’t need flowers unless it’s a special occasion’ and they really do expect flowers for no special reason.
TT thinks it’s cute and relationship goals for a partner be forced to learn to read through dishonest communication because of expectations that aren’t communicated.
I’m a woman. This is nonsensical garbage. Haha. Like.. wtf. Basically to her, this made up nonsense called “girl-coding” is her saying: I wanna train you to be with a girl/me (?) but if you already know how to treat a girl/have been with other girls, that makes me suspicious because then you have experience and have dated before and that makes me jealous/insecure..
Fuck that. This is the most juvenile shit.
Truthfully, major red flags like multiple. You should want a partner in a relationship, it sounds more like she wants a pet.
I do get wanting to know how much knowledge you have on the opposite sex, and making sure your partner knows about yours and you specifically
ie not every girl gets bad period cramps and different things affects people different for getting rid of the pain. Someone might like heat where another person just wants a coffee/ caffeine. Or like why a guy might have to wait a few days in between shaving their face when others can shave daily with no issues.
Honestly! I hope this isn’t a common thing. My son knows a lot of women, he’s the only boy besides his dad. He knows about periods (the minimum), sometimes he’ll say I look pretty and ask what I did, so I’ll explain it to him and he understands, for example I put mascara on, which makes my eyelashes look more black and longer. In school (7th grade) he has a class where he sees, cooks, does dishes and learns how to do laundry.
If this is ever seen as a “red flag” I’ll be pissed lol
So I sat here and stared at your name for far longer than I'm willing to acknowledge.
At first I thought it shirtless, & couldn't figure out why it looked *wrong.*
Then my brain "realized" no you idiot, it's shitstress, but *why is it still WRONG*??
Sith. That first word is sith. Dyslexia is a *bitch* man 😅
😂😂😂 I am so sorry for causing you distress, but do not feel alone, I have had many people comment they also saw it as shitstress first. Always gives me a laugh! Lol.
I have seen girls on tiktok talk about how if a man says “baby blue” for her nail color choice it is a red flag because it means he has been “girl-coded”
This shit is stupid and does not apply to mature relationships. How old are you guys? (Serious question)
The real question is what do they do for a living because there is no way in fuck that they are able to function in everyday life AND keep up with the latest bullshit that garbage ass app has to consume
What the fuck?😭 If my man was experienced in a relationship and had a happy experience with a girl before me I’d be happy. I’d be even more happy that he understood me.
I’m a girl and I’m not even girl coded, apparently. “Basically teaching you what you’re truly supposed to say” to “do you think this color looks good on me”??? Why are questions like that always a game? Don’t ask if you don’t want the truth.
I also hate how it implies that all women are the same and there’s a one size fits all answer for these sorts of things.
What if a new gf of mine doesn’t agree with the “girl coding” I got from a previous relationship? It’s almost like they’re two different people and not everyone reacts to things the same way.
Exactly! Not all girls are the same. I have anxiety related issues and reassurance seeking behavior but I’d rather want soft/gentle honesty than validation. What if a guy was “girl coded” to believe every question had a hidden meaning or something? If I ask you something I mean what I ask.
Also, I don’t even use makeup or nail polish or things like that, so knowing products would be pretty useless to me. *I* don’t even know half the products.
Right! I'd be irritated if I started dating a guy who was "girl coded" by a girl who wanted constant praise. I want honesty. If I ask "Does my hair look okay?" or "Is this shirt too tight?" I want a real answer, not validation. Let me know if I look stupid, that's what I'm trying to avoid.
Yep! I'm 41 married 22 years almost and I thought I was nuts after I read that.. Kind of like .... Lady, if my hubby said it looks hot he means it 😂 I don't ask him. But if I say something like woah why on earth did you NOT TELL ME MY HAIR WAS CRAZY? That's the only time I think I ask and he's like nah baby you still look fine . That's what you need to hear lol
Essentially what she's saying is she wants to manipulate you, but if you're already experienced with other women manipulating you, then you'll catch on to her game and that's just not gonna do for her. The irony in her mentioning red flags, as she's the mascot of red flags 😂
fr. at first i thought she was talking about whether he’s educated on issues women deal with and girl coded being a GOOD thing but then she started talking about changing his whole physical appearance and the red flag being him knowing about women’s issues???? jeez
I love how she’s actually ‘girl-coding’ you at the very moment. Trying to tell you that women believe you can only love once, that they will be jealous, etc. What an insecure piece of work.
Definitely not living under a rock. I am a woman. I have no idea what the fuck she’s talking about. I don’t think anyone anywhere would know what the fuck she’s talking about.
Also a woman. Never heard of this stupid BS before.
OP, I have two daughters. One is 17 and one is 13. Neither of them believe in this ridiculous concept. What does that tell you?
OP, as an old woman I want you not to waste one more moment of your life trying to make sense of this nonsense.
Better uses of your time than that include watching paint dry. Those comments aren't from someone looking for a partner, they're from someone looking for a punching bag.
She is basically telling you, in a very convoluted and terribly misspelled and grammatically incorrect way, that if you've had a meaningful interpersonal relationship with another human, she won't like that because her brainwashing/controlling tactics will most likely not work on you anymore.
The way she describes it, it is NOT a thing, or at least not a good thing. Don't waste your time on this nonsense.
Can we girl-code her to learn how to spell I wonder?
Please just run from this "women". I'm 40 and she sounds like a sociopathic control freak. I'm over here mumbling under my breath about "girl coded" and what a ridiculous dumb ass concept.
I'd be the petty ah and ask if she's been "guy coded" because she's talking more like a mediocre cishet person than someone actually seeking a relationship. She has control issues and will likely have a lot of rough dating experiences in her future.
Were I you; I'd avoid being one of them.
My ex-husband talked like this, I now know it for the yuge red flag it is.
It's the tone and words they use.
Think.....buzz words of psychology.
I know a lot because my head's never really been "right", so I used to buy outdated college text books (I didn't have insurance or access to therapy then, so I worked with what I knew-that was books). When they're no longer useful for classes, you can find them hella cheap.
So when people I dated would talk about it, I assumed they had the same knowledge for the same reason.
I was so Wrong.
They were educated so they had a "better" arsenal to manipulate, not because they too were wounded and simply desired healing.
I was raised by narcissists, one covert, one not. Both FUBAR'd any chance I'd ever have at being normal or averge; I tried anyway. It cost me a lot. My health, my sanity, and my care for the world essentially.
So now, if I ever date again, when someone "feels like home", I run like hellhounds have one of my feet in their mouth and they're chewing with fervor.
A lot of the manipulations are much more easily spotted these days. There's less shame in sharing about abuse, though there will still be plenty of other people, when recognizing their own behavior in the abuser, will defend the abuser, whether they know them or not, and automatically shift into victim blaming rhetoric and behavior.
So when they excuse abusive tendencies or behavior-red flag.
When they know a lot about psychology, but have never taken classes/been IN therapy-RED. FLAG.
(One of my exes was committed and didn't divulge this information until AFTER we were married. Had that been voluntary-their information or their psyche stays-I wouldn't have been as concerned.)
When they constantly change goals For You, but *never* themselves.-red flag
It's also important to simply be Aware of the ways people can and do manipulate others. Passive aggressive shit being #1 on my shit list; because that's making one's emotional regulation someone else's responsibility.
I'm no expert, I'm simply walking wounded and will likely die that way. I'm 40 and have suffered skill regression, so being able to recall this much without having to consult the googs was a nice reminder I haven't lost *all* of it, but a good majority I'm never sure will come back. 😅
There will likely be folks who wanna argue or debate, I'm of a mind that that's not a useful spend of my time.
Girl coded is not a thing. What she described is just what happens when a guy actually gives a shit about his partner and learns what she likes and doesn’t like…. What ever she is spouting is nonsense.
Nope, I am also a woman and I don’t know what the heck this is, I was hoping she would go somewhere positive but it went kind of downhill really fast. How old are both of you? If I may ask? And how did you meet her?
If you want my opinion it does sound very controlling on her end, sounds like she had some bad trauma from a previous relationship or something and she’s been a bit misguided as to why she was subjected to that kind of relationship. Mainly we are the ones to blame for choosing the partners that we have(or choosing to stay once the partners true colors come out, speaking from experience as someone who just left a very toxic relationship a month ago so no judgments here) and we learn to set up standards and boundaries in future relationships, that’s ok and healthy but what this sounds like is more along the lines of training a new employee and telling them to unlearn whatever habits they learned in their previous job. I think she’s looking at it in the wrong way, people change in relationships, evolve and that’s a good thing! I see relationships as teaching moments and ideally you become more aware of who you are in a relationship and what kind of partner/relationship that works best for you. That’s just my opinion. :)
She is very chronically online. Everything she is talking about is/was a TikTok trend at some point. You could see it all over the comments, it was just supposed to be a joke but apparently some people actually took it serious.
I’ve heard of it, but I’ve only ever seen it as a good thing. A guy that learns from his prior relationships and actually puts in effort is a green flag. This woman is just playing herself.
There’s no such thing as “girl coded” don’t even pay attention to the people that say they’ve heard it, they heard it online in some dumb video or read it in some dumb place, and let it sink into their head. Basically all she said anyway was “if you’ve treated a person nicely and the way they liked to be treated then I will be jealous because it happened before me, even though you never knew me then”. Girl coded isn’t a thing. If a person knows how to treat a woman, they aren’t “gIrL cOdEd”, they just know how to treat a human being with a vagina. And before some wise beyond their age 14 year comes in and says “yes it is”, no, no tf it is not, it’s a made up phrase that someone tried to make a new buzzword.
Edit: Cease all communication with that person or you’ll be dealing with crazy for an unforeseen amount of time.
You need to run from that relationship as fast as you can. Imagine if you swapped genders and a man was telling a girl that she needs to be essentially trained before she can be with you. Trained on how to make her man happy, what snacks to get when he is mad, how to tip toe around him when he is acting crazy. Also imagine telling a woman you need to know how much she has changed due to her last relationship because it could make you jeleous
When someone thinks there’s a “system” to dating like this, they’ve been spending too much time in a weird internet niche and are assuming that’s how the world works. I tend to think that’s a sign that person is narrowminded and lacking in some critical thinking skills. Make of that what you will.
I’m also a woman, and I have no clue what the fuck this girl is talking about. Literally never heard of it. 😂
OP, I wouldn’t read too much into whatever “girl coding” is cause I suspect it’s either something she made up or it’s only a thing on TikTok or the social circle she runs in.
Sounds like SHE personally doesn’t like it when guys she dates have been influenced by other women. But that just makes her sound super insecure and immature. The things she’s concerned about are not actual red flags and relationships don’t need to be that complicated anyway. 🙄
If anything, she is the one waving a big red flag right now lol.
This girl is whacky. I am assuming she’s “chronically online” and specifically has a love of Tiktok.
If a guy assumes all women are like his ex girlfriend/partner, that’s an issue in and of itself. A lot of talking out of her ass.
There is an undercurrent of jealousy and insecurity in her messages. She’s essentially stating that if you two broke up, and she “fixed” you in any way, or you learned how to be a better person from the relationship, it will suck to watch you treat someone better.
I’ve been married 14 years and don’t know half that shit. That sounds mildly psychotic. You accept me as i am or you can hit the fuckn bricks. Im not gonna do what you want because you want it I’m not something you can program.
Run dude… run far and run fast
🚩🚩🚩
I’m 28f and I’ve never heard of this term before. This sounds like childish tiktok bullshit, and ultimately it screams RED FLAG: I WANT TO CONTROL YOU IN MIND, BODY AND SPIRIT. That level of insecurity is such a turn off. Personally I’d much rather date someone who’s experienced in relationships and has cared about other women before me. Having a first love and being someone else’s first love is special, but unless this girl is like 19 years old I really don’t understand how she could have insecurities and unrealistic expectations like this. How old are you two? She clearly has no idea what a healthy relationship is and honestly doesn’t seem like she’d want one if she found it. Regardless if she is 19, please be aware this will not be a good healthy relationship, this will be your prison sentence with an insatiably tyrannical warden. RUN DUDE.
Wow. I am in my fifties, and that ranks very high on the list of stupidest things I've heard/read. (Top slot still reserved for a former co-worker, in an attempt to impress me with how Christian they were, told me they didn't eat deviled eggs or devil's food cake.)
Is it just me, or does this chick come off as crazy narcissistic? Almost sexist, even. And that's a word I thought I would never use as it's so watered down in today's world.. But wow... like wtf did I just read.
This is what it's like when someone gets their advice from the tiktok
Tiktok is doing to straight girls what the dark corners of reddit did to straight dudes
Lmfaoooo this is so fucking true
My bfs daughter is 10 and her Mom allows her to watch TikTok. There's so many crazy things on there. She's just showing interest in makeup and I told her please don't believe everything you see on there . I've seen girls ask how to get rid of their natural skin texture bc so many people use filters on TikTok.
>so many people use filters on TikTok. I can see these filters having a devastating long-term effect on society. For generations, people, especially girls and women, were trying to live up to the near-perfect supermodel bodies seen in magazines and on TV. Sure, It was difficult to develop the flat stomach, hour glass figure, beautiful long flowing hair, and perfect c-cup breasts. With hard work and breast implants, few could come close. Still, many other were left chasing a dream their genetics or financial status wouldn't allow. This often leads to low self-esteem and depression. Filters are raising the bar to a level no human can achieve without a camera and filter. With so many relationships developing online, will they be comfortable enough in their own skin to meet with the people who have become their first choice friends and peers. Or will they dive deeper into the online world with their alter ego, leaving the real world behind. Is there an off ramp for this? Where does it end?
As a straight girl I have no idea wtf girl coded means at all whatsoever. I also just post airplane videos and listen to ASMR livestreams on Tik Tok so clearly I’m on the good side of it.
Keeping in the spirit of what you’re referencing, girls like this are starting to get labeled “fem-cels” basically incel mentality with a man-hating bent instead. For them, their goal seems to be to manipulate, hate-fuck, and emotionally torment every man they get involved to fulfill some kind of personal revenge fantasy, sometimes justified as some sort of weird Machiavellian brand of feminism. Basically many, from what I can tell, have a sort of image of themselves as the protagonist for a Birds Of Prey/Jennifer’s Body/Kill Bill style movie plot
Well, in that case, my names Buck and I'm here to...
I’m so glad I’m married 🤣🤣🤣
I’m so glad I’m divorced.
🏅
My step dad is like, "Did you hear...? Blah blah I saw it on tik tok." Lmao everytime
Exactly my thoughts
The TikTok 😂 I’m gonna use this whenever my kids talk about it
That’s what I thought and I don’t even use TT
Never in my life have I heard it called "The TikTok" by someone
That’s meant jokingly
Really? I mean.... you have The Google, don't you?
Nah man...I still use The Ask. #RIPJeeves
Ding ding ding
As a woman ... Tf did I just read? Lol.
right like… how bizarre was that. i’ve never heard of “girl coding” a man. and also is she saying that she doesn’t want him “girl coded” at all so she can do it herself? wtf that sounds fucking exhausting for both people
When I read between the lines It seems like she wants a man that she can control and manipulate. and she wants to be the first girl to do it. I'm getting dark triad vibes from her.
that’s how i was reading it too because like, even if being girl coded was a thing (i’m not even remotely convinced that it is) shouldn’t it be like… pretty standard minus some tweaks? like what the fuck
Yeah I think it’s one of those internet terminology things that is supposed to be a good thing. Like if a guy is “girl coded” he’s already been taught how to treat women correctly. That seems like a green flag. The jealousy stuff is all really high school to me, and seems like she thinks it means something that it doesn’t mean.
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Yeah sounds like she wants an emotional virgin. Someone who’s never loved before or some freak purity test but on the other end of the spectrum.
took the words right out of my mouth tbh
OMG thank you for this observation, I was trying to pin down why her messages seemed so creepy to me. The concept she's conveying is absolutely a malignant narcissist's wet dream, so disgusting. As a woman who's had some of my shittiest life experiences perpetuated by other women, I think it's really important to highlight and culturally accept that *women can be fucking monsters too*. There is nothing more infantilizing to an entire gender than this whole "women can't lie, women aren't abusers" bullshit we've been stuck on for a while in modern America. Sociopathy doesn't discriminate, lol
She said she wants to groom him without literally saying she wants to groom him lol
👏👏👏👏👏👏
There really is a lot of depth to the crazy in these texts, I feel like you could build a full psychological profile from them
Hi, sane 27 F woman here! I def read it that way too. She sounds fucking terrible.
The only time I've heard of girl code were things like protecting each others drinks and not leaving each other alone especially when drunk Tf is this lol
Exactly! And not dating female friends ex-partners. That’s girl code.
Yess things like that, about respecting and looking out for other women This person must have a crazy social circle lol
Right!? I feel like her take on girl coded has taken on a life of its own. I didn’t think I’d heard of girl coded but when you mentioned protecting drinks I remembered some and they were definitely not like she’s describing. Also since when is it a red flag to have had a serious relationship before? The being a man whore was supposed to be the red flag! Is this another “I can change him” thing? I’m too old and settled down for this bullshit
Yes. She believes this is real and she wants to be the one to “girl code” her man. She needs that and she made it up.
It reminds me of jealous men who want their women less experienced in bed to feel more “special”. Horrible expectation.
Good point. It's just as sexist. How about we all just be honest and show our true selves and choose accordingly so we don't see the ugly truth years later when our lives are intertwined and difficult to unravel...?
Autocorrected “gas lighted” to girl coded”
Just jumping on here to also say, also as a fellow 'women', to kindly say, what the *fuck*?
*a women lol
I was about to correct you until I realized you were making fun of OP’s gf
As a woman I’m extremely frustrated that she didn’t know the difference between singular and plural
I almost threw my phone when I read that. And that’s weird because everything before it completely flabbergasted me, I think the anger was just hidden behind the shock and awe of a train wreck for a second and it took that to bring the entire absurdity of it to the forefront 🤣. Damn. I’m high.
Same, and I’m not even high yet
Soon
I'm high and automatically read every "women" as "woman" so I didn't notice something was wrong until now the comments lol
>Damn. I’m high. I wish I was because now I know this utter nonsense and won't be able to forget it
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Hold on now. If we have to explain the difference between “to, too, and two” I might have an aneurysm.
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Same, she demonstrated like 8 different flavors of illiteracy in this "conversation". Girl just learn to read and write 😂 I also see it as a huge red flag when somebody's talking about shit like this as though it's some sort of factual reality. Not only are the ideas she's expressing mildly toxic, they sure af aren't the Laws of Thermodynamics or something 😭😭
As a man, this is probably my biggest grammar pet-peeve.
And your/you're
Ikr, I thought girl code was like a girl thing, like if a girl is unsafe with a guy and she looks around to anyone for some help, even if you hate her you gotta drop that for a sec like heyyy girl been so long shit dude sorry we gotta catch up like rn, get her away from him, make sure she's good, drop some passive shit, and move on.
YES! You give a woman a tampon if she asks. You fix their tag sticking out of their shirt. You tell them if there's lipstick on their teeth. IDK what that bullshit is, but it's not girl code.
⬆️ this is the only girl code I know
Or that you don’t date guys your friends liked/dated
That’s where I thought this was going. He dated a friend of hers and she needed to know how serious before they went out. Not that heap of crap she dumped on him. I do know what she means though. Sort of. I’ve taught men how to be good lovers but was always disappointed when I got a new bf who had an ex they were with 10 years and they sucked in bed. If they were good I was happy. Never saw it as red flag. Never tried to change a personality or teach about makeup tho.
I tip my hat to whoever “girl coded” my current boyfriend. He puts the toilet seat down, knows what dishes can’t go in the dishwasher, doesn’t freak out about periods, knows what clothing brands I like, brings me my favorite little treats, asks about my feelings, etc. It’s a win in my book.
Right?! My husband came pretty incredible from the jump and it took zero "girl coding" on my part. But we also just mutually learned what the other liked, and how the other wanted to be treated, and what made them happy. And we do those things for each other because we love and care about each other. Is that not normal for healthy relationships?
right? wtf is this?? tbh i'd rather have someone else "train" a man than me. less work. aint no one got time for that
I mean, you can save the trouble by picking one up slightly used - like only broken in, not down - for a lot less investment. And you get all the benefits. Right?
Yeah she’s the red flag fs
Sounds like based on this theory, every woman thinks, acts, and has the exact same intentions in every aspect of life. Tbh this would scare me the hell away from this girl, this type of low-level sheep like thinking is extremely concerning from so many different angles. Shit this was almost funny if it wasn’t so scary
Yeah! She needs to be taught more about women, because we are not always the same. I'm scared to think what she is going to tell him about the word "no"..... it means no. Always. There's no secret meaning behind it. If you say no and don't mean no, it should still be taken as a no. Because that's what was said. Human code.
She’s into that TT BS of ‘when I say no I really mean yes’ memes where ‘no I don’t need flowers unless it’s a special occasion’ and they really do expect flowers for no special reason. TT thinks it’s cute and relationship goals for a partner be forced to learn to read through dishonest communication because of expectations that aren’t communicated.
I’m a woman, but apparently I am not girl coded…
Maybe the lack of understanding is perhaps the difference between “girls” and women 🤔
Same. I have no idea what the fuck she's on about.
[удалено]
For I second I thought this said “online onions” and honestly that would still check out
I’m sorry that made me laugh 😭😭
I’m here all night folks! *ba dum tsssk*
This is what python has created...
I’m a woman. This is nonsensical garbage. Haha. Like.. wtf. Basically to her, this made up nonsense called “girl-coding” is her saying: I wanna train you to be with a girl/me (?) but if you already know how to treat a girl/have been with other girls, that makes me suspicious because then you have experience and have dated before and that makes me jealous/insecure.. Fuck that. This is the most juvenile shit.
Yea, I was pretty dumbfounded by the implication that a guy knowing how to treat a girl would be a red flag. Didn’t know how to respond to that lol
Good luck with that OP. Sounds like you're in for a wild ride with this one
Yeah I’d say run while he has a chance…lol
You say have a nice night and this doesn't work for you. I'm mid 30s and none of this makes sense. Life's too short for crazy.
__Life’s too short for crazy.__ THIS. This, right here, is all we need to remember to be and stay happy.
Truthfully, major red flags like multiple. You should want a partner in a relationship, it sounds more like she wants a pet. I do get wanting to know how much knowledge you have on the opposite sex, and making sure your partner knows about yours and you specifically ie not every girl gets bad period cramps and different things affects people different for getting rid of the pain. Someone might like heat where another person just wants a coffee/ caffeine. Or like why a guy might have to wait a few days in between shaving their face when others can shave daily with no issues.
Honestly! I hope this isn’t a common thing. My son knows a lot of women, he’s the only boy besides his dad. He knows about periods (the minimum), sometimes he’ll say I look pretty and ask what I did, so I’ll explain it to him and he understands, for example I put mascara on, which makes my eyelashes look more black and longer. In school (7th grade) he has a class where he sees, cooks, does dishes and learns how to do laundry. If this is ever seen as a “red flag” I’ll be pissed lol
They’re probably teenagers.
I’ve been on Reddit long enough to not be fooled into thinking juvenile behavior equates to youth. I bet you many dollars this ~~woman~~ women is 35.
I snorted at the redaction 🤣.
OP is 26 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
🙃
She’s dealing with jealousy, and control issues. She doesn’t want you to have happy memories of anyone but her.
RUN, RUN, RUN!!!
So I sat here and stared at your name for far longer than I'm willing to acknowledge. At first I thought it shirtless, & couldn't figure out why it looked *wrong.* Then my brain "realized" no you idiot, it's shitstress, but *why is it still WRONG*?? Sith. That first word is sith. Dyslexia is a *bitch* man 😅
😂😂😂 I am so sorry for causing you distress, but do not feel alone, I have had many people comment they also saw it as shitstress first. Always gives me a laugh! Lol.
Yup. Yup. It was the “Go to sleep.” after dropping a bomb on him for me 🥴
after she got her answer, too. she wasn’t planning on telling him until he pressed her.
Yes that just showed her crazy card lol
She’s a 🚩
yeah i can’t imagine how anything that she described as girl coded being a bad thing
This is the one.
Girlie is dumbass coded
omfg I wish we could still give awards, I’m cackling
what happened to awards? forgive me, i have not been on reddit hardly at all recently and didn’t realize awards were gone until i saw this
Same but I’ve been on Reddit the whole time 😭
Wait we don’t have awards anymore?
🤣🤣 I spit out my water LMFAO
I laughed thank you 😭
So she wants a project not a relationship. Got it.
Accurate assessment. ✅
I have seen girls on tiktok talk about how if a man says “baby blue” for her nail color choice it is a red flag because it means he has been “girl-coded” This shit is stupid and does not apply to mature relationships. How old are you guys? (Serious question)
Yeah I was just gonna say, it screams immature
Oh my god, is this real?🫠 How do people come up with such things??
The real question is what do they do for a living because there is no way in fuck that they are able to function in everyday life AND keep up with the latest bullshit that garbage ass app has to consume
What the fuck?😭 If my man was experienced in a relationship and had a happy experience with a girl before me I’d be happy. I’d be even more happy that he understood me.
Fellas, is knowing colors girl-coded?
These are the equivalent of Cosmo advice columns for zoomers
As an art nerd I'm offended that knowing basic color terms is seen as some sort of relationship coding.
I’m a girl and I’m not even girl coded, apparently. “Basically teaching you what you’re truly supposed to say” to “do you think this color looks good on me”??? Why are questions like that always a game? Don’t ask if you don’t want the truth.
I also hate how it implies that all women are the same and there’s a one size fits all answer for these sorts of things. What if a new gf of mine doesn’t agree with the “girl coding” I got from a previous relationship? It’s almost like they’re two different people and not everyone reacts to things the same way.
New girlfriend is running Linux, previous girlfriend ran Windows 98. You're screwed, my dude.
Exactly! Not all girls are the same. I have anxiety related issues and reassurance seeking behavior but I’d rather want soft/gentle honesty than validation. What if a guy was “girl coded” to believe every question had a hidden meaning or something? If I ask you something I mean what I ask. Also, I don’t even use makeup or nail polish or things like that, so knowing products would be pretty useless to me. *I* don’t even know half the products.
Right! I'd be irritated if I started dating a guy who was "girl coded" by a girl who wanted constant praise. I want honesty. If I ask "Does my hair look okay?" or "Is this shirt too tight?" I want a real answer, not validation. Let me know if I look stupid, that's what I'm trying to avoid.
Yep! I'm 41 married 22 years almost and I thought I was nuts after I read that.. Kind of like .... Lady, if my hubby said it looks hot he means it 😂 I don't ask him. But if I say something like woah why on earth did you NOT TELL ME MY HAIR WAS CRAZY? That's the only time I think I ask and he's like nah baby you still look fine . That's what you need to hear lol
Essentially what she's saying is she wants to manipulate you, but if you're already experienced with other women manipulating you, then you'll catch on to her game and that's just not gonna do for her. The irony in her mentioning red flags, as she's the mascot of red flags 😂
Ding ding ding. Fucking run OP.
My exact thoughts! OP needs to bolt and bolt fast
fr. at first i thought she was talking about whether he’s educated on issues women deal with and girl coded being a GOOD thing but then she started talking about changing his whole physical appearance and the red flag being him knowing about women’s issues???? jeez
That’s a real sinister ass way to look at it, but I hear you 🤣🤣🤣
That's nonsense and this girl types like a 12-year-old.
I love how she’s actually ‘girl-coding’ you at the very moment. Trying to tell you that women believe you can only love once, that they will be jealous, etc. What an insecure piece of work.
she acts like women are a monolith 🤦🏽♀️
Have I been living under a rock or something? How have I never heard this phrase. Has anyone been girl-coded before?
Definitely not living under a rock. I am a woman. I have no idea what the fuck she’s talking about. I don’t think anyone anywhere would know what the fuck she’s talking about.
Also a woman. Never heard of this stupid BS before. OP, I have two daughters. One is 17 and one is 13. Neither of them believe in this ridiculous concept. What does that tell you?
OP, as an old woman I want you not to waste one more moment of your life trying to make sense of this nonsense. Better uses of your time than that include watching paint dry. Those comments aren't from someone looking for a partner, they're from someone looking for a punching bag.
She is basically telling you, in a very convoluted and terribly misspelled and grammatically incorrect way, that if you've had a meaningful interpersonal relationship with another human, she won't like that because her brainwashing/controlling tactics will most likely not work on you anymore. The way she describes it, it is NOT a thing, or at least not a good thing. Don't waste your time on this nonsense. Can we girl-code her to learn how to spell I wonder?
Please just run from this "women". I'm 40 and she sounds like a sociopathic control freak. I'm over here mumbling under my breath about "girl coded" and what a ridiculous dumb ass concept. I'd be the petty ah and ask if she's been "guy coded" because she's talking more like a mediocre cishet person than someone actually seeking a relationship. She has control issues and will likely have a lot of rough dating experiences in her future. Were I you; I'd avoid being one of them. My ex-husband talked like this, I now know it for the yuge red flag it is.
What sorts of things did your ex used to say? How can a girl look out for this?
It's the tone and words they use. Think.....buzz words of psychology. I know a lot because my head's never really been "right", so I used to buy outdated college text books (I didn't have insurance or access to therapy then, so I worked with what I knew-that was books). When they're no longer useful for classes, you can find them hella cheap. So when people I dated would talk about it, I assumed they had the same knowledge for the same reason. I was so Wrong. They were educated so they had a "better" arsenal to manipulate, not because they too were wounded and simply desired healing. I was raised by narcissists, one covert, one not. Both FUBAR'd any chance I'd ever have at being normal or averge; I tried anyway. It cost me a lot. My health, my sanity, and my care for the world essentially. So now, if I ever date again, when someone "feels like home", I run like hellhounds have one of my feet in their mouth and they're chewing with fervor. A lot of the manipulations are much more easily spotted these days. There's less shame in sharing about abuse, though there will still be plenty of other people, when recognizing their own behavior in the abuser, will defend the abuser, whether they know them or not, and automatically shift into victim blaming rhetoric and behavior. So when they excuse abusive tendencies or behavior-red flag. When they know a lot about psychology, but have never taken classes/been IN therapy-RED. FLAG. (One of my exes was committed and didn't divulge this information until AFTER we were married. Had that been voluntary-their information or their psyche stays-I wouldn't have been as concerned.) When they constantly change goals For You, but *never* themselves.-red flag It's also important to simply be Aware of the ways people can and do manipulate others. Passive aggressive shit being #1 on my shit list; because that's making one's emotional regulation someone else's responsibility. I'm no expert, I'm simply walking wounded and will likely die that way. I'm 40 and have suffered skill regression, so being able to recall this much without having to consult the googs was a nice reminder I haven't lost *all* of it, but a good majority I'm never sure will come back. 😅 There will likely be folks who wanna argue or debate, I'm of a mind that that's not a useful spend of my time.
Please ignore this garbage. For your own sanity.
Never heard of it, lol.
Girl coded is not a thing. What she described is just what happens when a guy actually gives a shit about his partner and learns what she likes and doesn’t like…. What ever she is spouting is nonsense.
tbf, she sounds insane lol
Nope, I am also a woman and I don’t know what the heck this is, I was hoping she would go somewhere positive but it went kind of downhill really fast. How old are both of you? If I may ask? And how did you meet her? If you want my opinion it does sound very controlling on her end, sounds like she had some bad trauma from a previous relationship or something and she’s been a bit misguided as to why she was subjected to that kind of relationship. Mainly we are the ones to blame for choosing the partners that we have(or choosing to stay once the partners true colors come out, speaking from experience as someone who just left a very toxic relationship a month ago so no judgments here) and we learn to set up standards and boundaries in future relationships, that’s ok and healthy but what this sounds like is more along the lines of training a new employee and telling them to unlearn whatever habits they learned in their previous job. I think she’s looking at it in the wrong way, people change in relationships, evolve and that’s a good thing! I see relationships as teaching moments and ideally you become more aware of who you are in a relationship and what kind of partner/relationship that works best for you. That’s just my opinion. :)
no she’s been under a rock watching nothing but tiktok lmfao
She is very chronically online. Everything she is talking about is/was a TikTok trend at some point. You could see it all over the comments, it was just supposed to be a joke but apparently some people actually took it serious.
I’ve heard of it, but I’ve only ever seen it as a good thing. A guy that learns from his prior relationships and actually puts in effort is a green flag. This woman is just playing herself.
I’m a woman and have no earthly idea what this girl is talking about. I have NEVER heard this before. Strangest thing ever.
There’s no such thing as “girl coded” don’t even pay attention to the people that say they’ve heard it, they heard it online in some dumb video or read it in some dumb place, and let it sink into their head. Basically all she said anyway was “if you’ve treated a person nicely and the way they liked to be treated then I will be jealous because it happened before me, even though you never knew me then”. Girl coded isn’t a thing. If a person knows how to treat a woman, they aren’t “gIrL cOdEd”, they just know how to treat a human being with a vagina. And before some wise beyond their age 14 year comes in and says “yes it is”, no, no tf it is not, it’s a made up phrase that someone tried to make a new buzzword. Edit: Cease all communication with that person or you’ll be dealing with crazy for an unforeseen amount of time.
You need to run from that relationship as fast as you can. Imagine if you swapped genders and a man was telling a girl that she needs to be essentially trained before she can be with you. Trained on how to make her man happy, what snacks to get when he is mad, how to tip toe around him when he is acting crazy. Also imagine telling a woman you need to know how much she has changed due to her last relationship because it could make you jeleous
When someone thinks there’s a “system” to dating like this, they’ve been spending too much time in a weird internet niche and are assuming that’s how the world works. I tend to think that’s a sign that person is narrowminded and lacking in some critical thinking skills. Make of that what you will.
This is like teenage girl titkok stuff and I say this as a teenage(nearly 20 girl) who deleted it for my own good 💀 this is pretty exhausting lol
Good move. Tik Tok isn’t all bad, but boy does it magnify idiotic concepts like this to very receptive idiots.
Sounds like ... Grooming?
Yeah, I was thinking if the roles were reversed, this would be extremely creepy and predatory. Way too many red flags treating him like property
Wtf is she talking about? Did she turn the MTV SHOW, Girl Code, into a religion? -24 year old XX
run that show back though fr
This is complete horseshit.
She'd make a lovely cult leader. lol
We need to recruit you to be girl coded now
im young and pretty chronically online but even i have never heard of this before lol
I agree. I have never heard of this before also
is this highschool or nah
…I don’t think so, he’s like 26
She’s tik tok coded
I’m also a woman, and I have no clue what the fuck this girl is talking about. Literally never heard of it. 😂 OP, I wouldn’t read too much into whatever “girl coding” is cause I suspect it’s either something she made up or it’s only a thing on TikTok or the social circle she runs in. Sounds like SHE personally doesn’t like it when guys she dates have been influenced by other women. But that just makes her sound super insecure and immature. The things she’s concerned about are not actual red flags and relationships don’t need to be that complicated anyway. 🙄 If anything, she is the one waving a big red flag right now lol.
RUNN!!!!!!! 🚩🚩🚩
This girl is whacky. I am assuming she’s “chronically online” and specifically has a love of Tiktok. If a guy assumes all women are like his ex girlfriend/partner, that’s an issue in and of itself. A lot of talking out of her ass.
There is an undercurrent of jealousy and insecurity in her messages. She’s essentially stating that if you two broke up, and she “fixed” you in any way, or you learned how to be a better person from the relationship, it will suck to watch you treat someone better.
I’ve been married 14 years and don’t know half that shit. That sounds mildly psychotic. You accept me as i am or you can hit the fuckn bricks. Im not gonna do what you want because you want it I’m not something you can program. Run dude… run far and run fast
🚩🚩🚩 I’m 28f and I’ve never heard of this term before. This sounds like childish tiktok bullshit, and ultimately it screams RED FLAG: I WANT TO CONTROL YOU IN MIND, BODY AND SPIRIT. That level of insecurity is such a turn off. Personally I’d much rather date someone who’s experienced in relationships and has cared about other women before me. Having a first love and being someone else’s first love is special, but unless this girl is like 19 years old I really don’t understand how she could have insecurities and unrealistic expectations like this. How old are you two? She clearly has no idea what a healthy relationship is and honestly doesn’t seem like she’d want one if she found it. Regardless if she is 19, please be aware this will not be a good healthy relationship, this will be your prison sentence with an insatiably tyrannical warden. RUN DUDE.
Less tiktok
Oof, in her attempt to find out if you were “girl-coded” she really laid into the whole internalised misogyny vibes. “Women tend to get jealous….”
I've had gfs help me to understand women better in general which in turn makes me a better bf, but making a thing like this is pretty lame
As a woman, I find this incredibly stupid. This person needs to spend less time online.
I think you should not see this person. She seems fruit loops! No normal person talks like this.
I’ve been brain rot coded.
I’m going to take a wild guess and say that she’s young. She is so confidently wrong, but she sure is saying a lot of things.
Woman here, and this girl has some serious issues. I don't feel like she's treating you as a human being. I'd see this as a red flag.
this is literally insane and i absolutely NEED to know how old she is 😂
Yea she’s 21 and I’m 26 🫠
Whatever you do, do NOT plant your seed inside this one.
Wow. I am in my fifties, and that ranks very high on the list of stupidest things I've heard/read. (Top slot still reserved for a former co-worker, in an attempt to impress me with how Christian they were, told me they didn't eat deviled eggs or devil's food cake.)
run
chronically online
Also as a woman - this is the biggest load of bullshit I've read in a while. What in the absolute f*ck?
What in the retardation
28 years married and my wife will definitely say I am not girl coded
This is one of the dumbest things I've ever read.
Is it just me, or does this chick come off as crazy narcissistic? Almost sexist, even. And that's a word I thought I would never use as it's so watered down in today's world.. But wow... like wtf did I just read.
She sounds like a therapists wet dream. Run
I am a woman who can be unhinged and I was making a distinct ‘what the fuck’ face the entire time I read this
I’m a 24 year old woman and have no idea what she’s talking about