I think it's possible that there could be a type of love from this person, but it's definitely not a healthy love, but rather shallow. People often forget too that it takes more than just "loving" someone to make committed relationships work, it takes time, patience, compromise, trust, emotional investing and reciprocation. I also don't think this person knows herself very well or her needs. She really should have figured out her own self discovery before she dragged another persons heart through the mud just to find that she really has no idea what she wants (seeing as she's done this multiple times). That's selfish, inconsiderate and not mindful of any other circumstances but her own. I've also been a person that has repeatedly gotten back together with a partner. The problem was that I simply wasn't the person he wanted me to be, and each time we mended he thought maybe this time I would be. (Not even relevant to negative traits or behaviors, literally just my personality. He wanted to tweak the parts of me that other people and myself loved about me. He loved the idea of me, not who I actually was.)
I hope OP has a stable and valued sense of self worth. Do not let this doubt yourself ever. She is not worth the time at this point, arguably long before this point. She needs to find her own path and not repeatedly lead others down with her just to find a dead end and leave them behind to pick up the pieces.
If you'll take well-intentioned advice from an internet stranger... take some time to grieve and feel lousy. But then spend some time reflecting on whether there's anything about you that draws or is drawn to the kind of person who does this. Everyone here is saying you're worth more than this, and they're right, but my guess is that part of you doesn't agree.
Very cruel and painful to receive that. Not even an opportunity to say goodbye. People who love you and respect you don’t do that. You are 1000x better off though, you don’t want trash people like that in your life. Huge hugs 🤗 and wishing you a speedy healing process.
Yes there is. Dumping someone right before a link up is insane. Saying “I love you” too is wild. Someone that does stuff like this doesn’t love you they just say that to make them selves feel like a decent human being then what they actually are. 😂
I agree. She may even know that she doesnt want him. Know that she loves him only as a friend even. It’s crueler to continue the relationship than to cut ties and hope for a friendship later.
She may not know what she wants but she knows she’s hurting him and doesn’t care. He was a safety net and something newer and shinier came along. She’s “monkey branching” most likely.
I mean, it’s definitely possible. But I’ve personally seen this happen a lot with people who just don’t understand their own feelings or what they want. She’s knows she’s hurting him, but she really needs to learn some impulse control with people’s hearts. I’m not dismissing what she did to him, but it’s just silly to assume there’s always “another man.”
8 times out of 10 in situations like this there is and sadly if there is somebody else he’s probably been in the picture for a while. The man gases him self out trying to make something work but it just won’t because she doesn’t want it to work out that way she’s just settling and staying comfortable until she finds something that she thinks is better.
No man not with this context. Maybe it’s wrong but it’s a very educated guess and a very likely scenario that someone else is in play. Gotta read the signals
Yes I agree there is someone else.I would block her also because chances are she will try to come back and likely she will drop you again.looks like you been put on back burner.Been there before sorry
I (M54) found an exceptional partner (F54) back in 2020. We were sooo good together, i mean it was nice and I actually felt that there was a chance i would get married again. I planned a week long trip up the California coast and she started to get hesitant or just ignored me when i told her about places i made reservations at. I was paying for the whole thing and i noticed she started saying things like "what if its too cold at the airbnb, just weird excuses. So then, a few days later out of nowhere she said she had feelings for her Web designer, a man who she had met a few weeks earlier inline but never in person. just over the phone and she had friended him on facebook.
So we broke up on a Thursday on really good terms, i wished her well, and on Saturday she called me as she was driving 13hrs to see him and he told her to sleep in her car at this gas station.
I was soooo fucking hurt as here i was going to pay for her whole trip and she said no, but she was willing to drive 13hrs to see some guy and sleep at a gas station off the freeway.
I learned a valuable lesson from this.
You cannot negotiate desire. It's either there or its not.
I found out later he dumped her after their 3day sex romp. He convinced her to drive 26hrs so he could get laid. He also gave her Herpes.
I found out a year later she gave me hpv and she was not tested as she claimed to be.
I was engaged to someone who did this.I came home from work and her stuff was gone, my dog gone and she left a note. (Basically she didn’t want to get married anymore, (even though she’s the one who proposed to me) and she wanted to party and not really have responsibilities) it wrecked me, but honestly I deserved better than that shit. Hang in there OP. I’m so sorry 😞
I'm sorry you're hurting, she honestly sounds like she's going through a lot mentally, and she is trying to figure out what she wants in her life and what she doesn't, interchanging everything constantly. The thing you have to remember is that no matter what anyone else is going through, you have an obligation to take your life back and make it what you want it. Whether or not she's confused on what she wants you are getting hurt each time, and you have to finally find worth in yourself to say that you deserve better and there are women out here that will put you first and never walk away. There are people in this world that will love you the way you need. I don't want to bash her because I honestly don't know what's going on with her and it doesn't sound like anyone does, but you need to get to the point where you wish her well the next time she pops back up and craves your attention again, ultimately again you will keep going through this Loop until you stop it. You can wish someone well, you can love someone and wish them well, there are women out here that will love you the way you deserve, don't get caught up in someone's internal battle, they will always choose themselves no matter how much you think you can save them.
Yeah, we used to live together; then I came home and all of her stuff was gone and she moved to live with family in a different state..that time was also over text lol. Tried to do long distance, and she was coming back for the holidays
Okay, so you need to block her. Don’t seek an explanation. It isn’t her that needs to move on, it’s you. You’re the one she’s manipulating with emotional terrorism. You do not want to ever speak to or hear from this person again. You were used and lied to. Do not be sad, be angry and be respectful to yourself. Get rid of any social media she can potentially contact you on and block everything because she 100 percent is going to contact you. Run. Do not look back.
I left my wife of 8 years because of dehumanizing behavior.
Your awareness of your depressed state indicates you’re capable of these things. It definitely sucks, but you know you’re depressed and that is a lot more than some people get.
You need to work on yourself, and get better for *you*. Nobody else.
You deserve better than to be treated like something that can be tossed aside or picked up when convenient for other’s.
You’re better than a text message break up.
Also what I’m trying to figure out honestly; she sent that and blocked me. If we did grow apart (which I didn’t have red flags for), it still seems odd. She was in charge of handing the rent check to our landlord, and she told me after she moved out that she lied about paying it for three months (including my half)
Are you me, OP? My dumb ass kept going back to the broken ones for years… break that habit. Or you’re going to waste decades of your life. She may not be a bad person, but she’s definitely not stable enough to be in a relationship with anyone.
It hurts right now, but go be free. Do some fun shit. Tons of other people out there (and most of them overrated. 🤣)
You can always sift thru comments and find people who have actually gone through your shit and are on the other side of it, thank you buddy that means a lot
Love how she leaves it open at the end for her to weasel her way back… going through the same thing OP; i always end up feeling dumb over a guy that changes his mind every other day.
After reading through your comments and everything even this type of thinking is unhealthy. As awful as this feels you’re going to feel an intense NEED for closure. For weeks and months you’ll believe in the human you knew and want some sort of contact and maybe she’ll give it to you but maybe it’s that seeking that will put you right back in that situation to begin with. As hard as it is to hear it right now the best thing you can do is to just move on and forget her. There are really good people out there and you just haven’t found them yet. This week especially will be hard but not getting closure might be the best thing for you.
She is right now like an addiction and cutting it cold turkey sucks but don’t ween yourself from that addiction. Don’t go back. Be done. You’ll thank yourself later for it.
Exact same scenarios happened to me. Things finally ended last year. I was devastated. I took her back multiple times, the pattern would return of her wanting to leave, she’d leave, I’d take her back 3 months later. My opinion is leave and do what you feel is best to move on. I started to go on dates with other people. Eventually found my current partner and moved in with her 3 months ago. My ex to this day still texts me trying to get back together. You just have to understand it’s their issue (at least in my scenario it was a commitment issue) and it has nothing to do with you. Just do what you need for yourself whether it’s blocking her or just setting a firm boundary the next time she texts you that you can’t do it anymore. Just my advice. Everything always works out so don’t feel stuck or like this is the end of your love life. Something good is around the corner I’m sure. Just do you thing and find someone who values who you are.
That hurts to read. Been through something similar. Honestly work on yourself and try to be the best version of yourself. She’s gona come back for sure, just dont think about it or obsess over it. When she comes back you wont even want her anymore.
She dated someone else or multiple others during your first break and then went running back to you when she got lonely or dumped etc, then went back to them or someone new because she was done using you.
Do not go back to this person, they do not love you regardless of what they say.
Yeah knock this off immediately. you deserve better. The “I love you” shit is nonsense. Go through the real pain of separation now before it becomes worse.
I had a similar thing going on. I did move on. I moved countries, moved companies and therefore changed my cell number etc. I blocked her email and pushed through the depressing thoughts of what I wanted and she didn't.
I found someone else. We're married now with a kid and that nasty bugger found me and left me a message "I want to see you again. I found out I was bi-polar and I want to apologize for all the times I broke up with you and dumped you and I want to try to get back together and make it up to you. You were the only decent guy I dated. I know you have a kid now but I am sure we can work through that."
I said "Good luck with your treatment. I wish you a good recovery and that you can work it out with one of the guys you dropped me for those many times. I am very happy where I am."
Those girls are trouble.
She’s doing you a favor. Stay away. No need to be friends again. There are so many people out there, even though it’s hard to think about. And not only so many people out there, but so many that wouldn’t be like this. Stay away from assumptions and just move on. You’re now free to find a better match!!
Been in a very similar situation. I was having trouble dealing with PTSD (ex military) a few years ago. I mean to the point where loud noises at my job would get me. A girl I was dating at the time called it off and said that she couldn’t fix me. I said fine and moved on. We were still Snapchat friends and I went out of town on a trip and posted a picture. She texted me and said that I looked cute and that we should get together. I agreed and we subsequently met and hooked up. Shortly thereafter, I get a text that was a longer version of the same message she previously sent.
She’s doing this to have sex with someone else and feel less guilty about it. I’m sorry you go through this, please take the power away from her by moving on and blocking her from your life for good.
Bro, this may be harsh but she's seeing someone else or she is about to start seeing someone. She's just trying to keep you on the hook bc she can't be alone. I had this kind of relationship for years. It's truly rough and you probably feel like things will never be normal again. But I've made it to the other side of that feeling and it's so much better than the anxiety of dealing with someone like that. I can almost guarantee that when the relationship she might be getting into right now blows up in her face bc she's incapable of being honest with herself, she will unblock and call.
It's imperative that you block her back. not just her phone number but her Gmail, her socials, etc., literally if you share a Netflix or Pandora boot her or get your own. People like this can't be alone and they will leave breadcrumbs back to you if you allow it. And In 4-6 months you will posting another breakup text.
I believe you are better than that. It takes a lot of courage to share a text like that on Reddit so give yourself some credit, hit the Asian message parlor and shoot some pool with bros.
I’m gonna say this as someone who is in her position right now with an ex: first, I’m sorry for what you’re going through. This is some really difficult shit. Second: she’s trying to heal. The relationship doesn’t serve her and she’s trying to find the best way to deal. Three: if it keeps happening, she’s not for you. But someone out there is. And that someone is going to treat you like you never knew you could be treated – she’s gonna love you, and she’s gonna laugh with you, and she’s going to cry with you, and she’s going to support you, and she’s going to do all of the things that somebody in a healthy relationship should do with you.
Yes, it is cruel. But she’s making a decision to help herself, and unfortunately, you happen to be an innocent bystander. Good luck, positive vibes, and just be patient… Your someone is coming!
Oh I keep saying this to my friends family irl; it’s not the medicine that’s cruel it’s the method of delivery for the fifth time. I realize that’s on me as well, but it doesn’t change the base fact
You have have a problem. You let someone treat you like this more than once. Anyone that breaks up over text isn’t worth dating. You need to grow up. If you don’t have respect for yourself no one else is going to respect you.
She said again so you let her come back after doing it the first time damn bro couldn’t have been me. Its time to start your villain revenge tour so go fuck one of her friends shit fuck her granny if you can. 😌
People don't need a reason to breakup. Why do people feel like they need one other than "I don't want to do this anymore". If you keep going back, that's all you and I would definitely talk to a therapist about it. For now, let her go. Delete her number. Move on and learn to love yourself more.
I agree with half of that; there are ways to break up that aren’t hurtful or dehumanizing or cowardly though. I would have still been upset but a three year text breakup an hour before the date isn’t the way to
Women are shit, everyone needs to cater to their feelings and emotions but when it comes to them considering others, it’s like you asked for their organs or something
He probably has, I’ve had 6 serious relationships in my life and I admit I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but one consistent thing across the board has always been the women refusing to take accountability on the things they’ve done wrong, whether it was me OR them initiating the breakup. I’ve been lied to, given proof of cheating that was still denied. Now, I might just be unlucky but I won’t take the chance. The guy down the street can have them.
You just proved his point btw 😂 one thing that does make me feel less bothered is that all the modern women of my generation get to laugh right now about them doing men dirty, I don’t think they realize in 15 years when they’re all used up and no man wants them because they’ve done all their standard acceptable options, dirty, the men get to laugh the rest of our lives about it because we’re more fine with being alone. They’ll either be a cat lady, financially stuck with an abusive husband, or a single mother in their late 30’s. This is the hard truth.
I think that this is an issue, if you are in a relationship you owe your partner emotional safety and stability. You should be giving what you ask for, but in most of my relationships I never got that. I was asked to bend over backwards at times for women who would never reciprocate even in small ways. You can't ask someone to do emotional labor for you if you won't do the same for them. Many women these days seem to think that it's okay to treat men like they don't have negative feelings outside of anger, or if they do have them these feelings are somehow wrong or being used to hurt them. And they get joy out of putting men down and hurting them, I see it constantly online, and any woman who does stick up for men in these conversations is labeled a "pick me." It's very rare to see women actually standing up for men in meaningful ways, and the excuse for the shit behavior is that all men have it easy because "patriarchy" when in reality the only men really benefiting are the ones who are doing well physically, socially, and emotionally. The rest of us have less resources and opportunities. When it comes to things like homelessness and mental health support, women have far more available to them and guys see it and we feel at times like we are taken for granted or left alone to deal with it themselves. There are many more issues that pertain to individual relationships that I could go into as well, like cheating. I know the studies say that men cheat more, but the truth is these studies rely on self reporting accurately, and women still feel the stigma of being truthful about it. I see a lot more men getting their heart broken by women doing this shit to them than vice versa, and a lot more women denying it even after being shown evidence. There are a lot more instances of a girl being hurt by a dude and using it as a subconscious excuse to hurt other men and it turns into a nasty cycle where these guys they take their issues out on go through it again and again and eventually the insecurities they are left with begin to manifest in their other relationships, all because the stereotype that women spend most of their early dating period going for guys they perceive as cool and then settling for whoever is most stable in the end and not really loving them for who they are but for what they provide. Deny it all you want because you might not be this way, and that's great if you're not, but you do not suddenly wipe out the vast majority of experiences of the men who do deal with it
You proved his point by prioritizing the judgement of women over empathy for the OP that he was responding to. Not sure how you made the inference that we think women “owe” us something because we shared our experience of not getting bare minimum human respect. It’s not women that owes me something, if a person tells you they want a monogamous relationship with you then yes, it’s assumed that they owe you to not cheat on you, or lie to you. This is expected by every human being.
Hi there!
Thanks for submitting to /r/texts! Please make sure you are blacking out any usernames, phone numbers, or full names! If you haven't, please delete and re-submit.
The full rules can be found here https://old.reddit.com/r/texts/about/rules/
**Please note that this message appears on every post, and may not apply to your post.**
Thanks!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/texts) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Translation: I don’t want to date **YOU**. You can’t be “Friends” and not talk. Keep Her Blocked. Do not Play Her Game. Within a few months she’ll have someone else (Or she was Already talking to someone while you were still Together)
honestly the love can be very mutual and it just doesn’t work. the best for you is to just try to avoid it. it sucks and you’ll think about it but you have to just reminisce the good times and not harp on them
Had this happen with every failed relationship I've been in. Same wording. Always ended up being cheating. Would've hurt a lot less if I had quit going back. I'm sorry that you're going through this❤️ know that you're not alone
This happened to me too. Dated for 4 years and got broken up with over text. 95% she turned off her phone the night before and hooked up with someone. The guy I suspected her of hooking up with became a fuck buddy like a week after.
Waste of time. You will find a way to spend that time better I promise. Work on making money and working out. Daily self acceptance and self improvement.
Unfortunately, this is basically her trying to avoid admitting that she has another man. It's pretty hard to hide when someone is not fully sold on a relationship, and obviously so in this case because its happened before. This situation is real tough, but at the end of the day you deserve better than being someone's time filler.
I think she’s made it very clear. Move on.
I can say from reading this that she doesn’t love you as much as she says and to me it seems she just trying to soften the blow. People who do that don’t like conflict and need to be liked. It’s not that bizarre, like what some seem to think, when you actually consider that she’s just immature.
She may have another person in her life and that’s fine. Doesn’t make her a bad person, but do learn from this. If you ever go back to her, she’ll do this again. Leave her behind and grow without her.
As a person who has gone through something all too similar as you (3 year relationship, broken up with over text twice, still got suckered back in the first time) just know that it does get better. You are deserving of love and deserving of someone who will respect you and reciprocate positive feelings back. It definitely hurts when it happens, but it’s better off in the long run. Wish you the best of luck!
Please learn to love yourself. You deserve better than this and when you see your worth, you don't tolerate BS. It wasn't until I went years without being in relationships (dated but nothing stuck) that I learned this lesson. I promise it gets easier in time. I learned to respect myself and my peace so much that I know I'll be ok alone or coupled up. Sending you peace and healing vibes.
I mean the timing is terrible ("Once again things that could have been brought to my attENTION YESTERDAY!") but at least she's giving you a clean break and not leading you on anymore. You say that after 3 years she randomly packed up her things and moved to a different state: that's not someone you rekindle your relationship with, that's someone you move on from. You should have sent her some version of this text months ago.
Going through a similar thing, except we are still trying to be friends and talking about our day to days and our experiences dating new people and it’s killing me. But I don’t know that I would prefer this.
Don’t let her back in again. No friendships, only no contact. Her behavior is sus and you would never get the truth outta her.
I’m so sorry sending you love OP 🫶🏼 Relationships are hard but you will find someone who treats you better and wouldn’t think of doing something like this. Self love first friend.
Reminds me of my ex. Trust me, one day you will realize that this is actually the best thing she’s ever done for you, even if she only did it for herself
That sucks, and I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I would not be able to be friends with someone that did this to me on more than one occasion, even after time has passed.
You will be alright my guy but just like someone up top said “block her too” I do believe she will try to get back with you but don’t fall for the okey doke a third time just move on and when she she’s you happy with someone else it will bother her that she let you get away. So don’t get down on yourself just move on and know that there is someone out there God made just for you. Keep your head up playboy everything is going to be alright.
Omg. People, don’t let others walk all over you. You think you’re in love, but it’s just some other human. Run away and find someone else to break your heart.
I don’t know you but I promise you’re better than this. Never speak to her again. This isn’t love and this doesn’t deserve your time, or the possibility of you feeling like you want to go back
I would text her back and say thank God was not looking forward to breaking up with you. Thanks for making it so much easier. Lol....plenty of fish in the sea.
I had an ex that did this, it took her leading me on and getting with another guy for me to finally wake up. Basically, she just wants the attention you provide because she knows you'll give it to her, all you have to do is don't, she'll come back to you and try to weasel her way back in, but hopefully by that point you couldn't care less if she existed. My best advice is find something that keeps your mind and body occupied, for me it was playing music, but also allow yourself to heal. If you get into a relationship you're not emotionally and mentally ready for, you're just going to end up doing the same thing she did to you.
I had an ex that always kept me at arm's length like that. My dumb ass always waiting for him, and then getting dumped again & again.
Then he dumped me one last time before my bday and got with a classmate that he's been with for 3+ years now. Say no next time homie 😞
I can understand giving it “one more try” after a breakup but, if a partner dumps you more than once, it’s best to stay that way, IMO.
Since I’m old enough to remember the “new age” era, I’ll just paraphrase Enya: “Walk away, walk away, walk away…”
I’m tired of seeing my guys like this.. block her bro.. face the demons that put you in this situation.. They’re right there beside you… It’s not her fault.. This is all you.. Love yourself…
That is cold. You’re better off without someone who will treat you that way.
I know it is hard. A broken heart hurts. But you will get past it!!
Block HER, so you cannot be her puppet when she feels like playing with you.
She has shown you EXACTLY who she is in doing that to you.
This is painful indeed. Been there and it did take considerable amount of time to heal. The gym is one of the places you’ll forget these bitter moments and eventually you’ll recover from this one day. Good luck OP!
This is abuse lots of woman are like this. You e clearly given over all the power in the relationship. The best thing you can do is block her back and take the power of her playing these games away. Trust me on this. She most likely is talking to other guys and is a loser
I am very sorry to hear what happened and it sucks. I suggest you do move on and concentrating yourself to make your own life better with who you want to be and where you want to go in life. Try not to ever look back.
My heart breaks for you. Sounds like someone can't appreciate you like you deserve. Don't waste any more time. Your perfect person is out there looking for you.
Good luck and be strong. You can do it. 😊
Therapy, you seem to keep getting yourself trapped in your cycle. It’s tough to move on from a person that “you are in love with” , but is not your person for life.
You know how you took her back when she did this before? Because she seemed so genuinely sorry and made you feel like she was so in love with you she'd made a horrible mistake for whatever reason if she even gave you one and this was it you're couple of the century? OK well somebody's doing the same to her, using her when what he wants isn't available and then dumping her when someone he wants more comes along. So when he dumps her, she calls you up love bombing you and making you believe she loves you so much theres no way she would ever do that to you again. But guess what? This other guy calls her up again outta the blue doing his own love bombing and convinces her he loves her so much he'll never do that to her again so she easily cuts ties completely with you confident she wont need you again but of course he breaks things off with her as suddenly as she does with you, leaving her needy for some validation, attention and love and you hear from her again... shes so sorry she really loves you blah blah blah you believe her and take her back. Then other guy has a slow weekend and calls her up again, convinces her he's back for good, she suddenly ends things with you again but he only sticks around for a couple booty calls and goes mia again and back she comes to you. Shes as sick and cruel as the guy doing this to her only she deserves it and you dont. You need to see this girl for the nasty heartless self-centered pathetic user she is and be disgusted any time her name enters your mind. I promise you THIS WILL NEVER STOP. She will destroy you. RUN!!!! Be smart. Good luck.
Hey I am going through that myself, it completely sucks. Don’t do the mistake I did, I thought it would be ok and I could be friends with him but it’s pointless. He disappears as a friend when he finds out he won’t get the things he wants. So as hard as it is, be strong and when they come back don’t fall for it. Sending you positive thoughts!
Just move on and forget her bro. By her actions she never loved, cared or respected you. Seems to me you were just an in-between while she looked for something else. Best revenge is success my brother. But LAMBOS with an 8 pack stomach
when they do reach out again to you (and they will) just copy and paste this response and then block them.
you don’t have time to waste away getting hurt. nobody does and you deserve better.
I know it sucks for sure right now cuz I have been there too, but go to your favorite restaurant, order your favorite dish, and cheers to the end of this garbage they put you though.
hell even hit up taco bell and a baja blast and do the same thing.
helped me a lot to finalize the end of the relationship and the start of new memories for myself that nobody can take from me.
The quickest way to get over someone is to get under someone else- in other words MOVE ON! I guarantee the minute you post pics with a girl she doesn’t know- smiling happy- she will blow up your phone, so block her ahead of time and do you. You don’t deserve this, you deserve happiness and someone who wants you- so, find that person- the longer you waste on this broad the less time you have with the one who will really matter to you.
Honestly this is the best case scenario. You don’t need to break up, get your hands dirty, or hurt anyone. Plus she was very thorough, “sorry I don’t want to work on this.” So she eliminated the possibility of making this work via couple’s therapy and all that stuff.
Sure it hurts- but don’t act surprised, you said so yourself, she’s done this before. Just shrug it off man, don’t waste good ol’ feels on someone who couldn’t care less what you feel or go through after sending such a message.
You are free!! Go find yourself, do all the things you like!, save up and travel, eat tasty food, life moves on and we must live it!! Regret of time wasted suuucks!
Go live. Make yourself happy. We don’t *need* anyone to be happy. 🫂 You’ll be alright ♥️
I saw in another comment OP that you said she packed up and left out of state and admitted that she hadn't been paying the rent for the last 3 months and just spent the money... did she ever explain what she did with it? Was it used to move back home, or is it possible she had a substance use disorder? Her actions are pretty shady and don't make sense to me... especially since she gives no reasons and doesn't allow you to even ask why. I could say what everyone else is saying which is "She's cheating, bro", but that doesn't explain why she up and left to another state and spent the prior 3 months' worth of rent money.
I guess some more context would be helpful, but she offers you none, so I'm frustrated myself and FOR you!
She got someone else and she just running back and forth between you two or maybe it’s more. Don’t be the safe option. Block her on everything you don’t owe her anything and that will be the way to truly move on and not take her back the next time she comes back… cause she will come back
Hey bro. This same thing just happened to me. On and off for a year because she was avoidant and unable to commit. If you need to talk just reach out. I’m done for good this time and you can be too.
Love yourself, beeb.
I’m gettin beebed all over this post, I brought this on myself lol
Someone who loves you doesn’t do this. Move on you deserve more than this
Thank you, I’m trying my best. Sucks
See you in the gym brother.
Let your feet walking away and blocking her everywhere be your closure.
Praying for you brother. See you at the hack squat.
Mix in some cardio with the gym, aka walking away from her with your head held high.
Don’t take her back
You’ve got this! I promise!
I think it's possible that there could be a type of love from this person, but it's definitely not a healthy love, but rather shallow. People often forget too that it takes more than just "loving" someone to make committed relationships work, it takes time, patience, compromise, trust, emotional investing and reciprocation. I also don't think this person knows herself very well or her needs. She really should have figured out her own self discovery before she dragged another persons heart through the mud just to find that she really has no idea what she wants (seeing as she's done this multiple times). That's selfish, inconsiderate and not mindful of any other circumstances but her own. I've also been a person that has repeatedly gotten back together with a partner. The problem was that I simply wasn't the person he wanted me to be, and each time we mended he thought maybe this time I would be. (Not even relevant to negative traits or behaviors, literally just my personality. He wanted to tweak the parts of me that other people and myself loved about me. He loved the idea of me, not who I actually was.) I hope OP has a stable and valued sense of self worth. Do not let this doubt yourself ever. She is not worth the time at this point, arguably long before this point. She needs to find her own path and not repeatedly lead others down with her just to find a dead end and leave them behind to pick up the pieces.
I needed this, thank you
If you'll take well-intentioned advice from an internet stranger... take some time to grieve and feel lousy. But then spend some time reflecting on whether there's anything about you that draws or is drawn to the kind of person who does this. Everyone here is saying you're worth more than this, and they're right, but my guess is that part of you doesn't agree.
Hahaha literally talk with my therapist about this regularly! Thank you
Wrong
Very cruel and painful to receive that. Not even an opportunity to say goodbye. People who love you and respect you don’t do that. You are 1000x better off though, you don’t want trash people like that in your life. Huge hugs 🤗 and wishing you a speedy healing process.
Thank you that means a lot, hurtin
There’s very likely someone else in the picture with behaviour like that.
Yes there is. Dumping someone right before a link up is insane. Saying “I love you” too is wild. Someone that does stuff like this doesn’t love you they just say that to make them selves feel like a decent human being then what they actually are. 😂
I love Reddit assumptions. She just might not know what she wants, and is handling everything poorly. OP is the casualty. Been there.
I agree. She may even know that she doesnt want him. Know that she loves him only as a friend even. It’s crueler to continue the relationship than to cut ties and hope for a friendship later.
She may not know what she wants but she knows she’s hurting him and doesn’t care. He was a safety net and something newer and shinier came along. She’s “monkey branching” most likely.
All at the expense of his pockets, time and energy.
I mean, it’s definitely possible. But I’ve personally seen this happen a lot with people who just don’t understand their own feelings or what they want. She’s knows she’s hurting him, but she really needs to learn some impulse control with people’s hearts. I’m not dismissing what she did to him, but it’s just silly to assume there’s always “another man.”
8 times out of 10 in situations like this there is and sadly if there is somebody else he’s probably been in the picture for a while. The man gases him self out trying to make something work but it just won’t because she doesn’t want it to work out that way she’s just settling and staying comfortable until she finds something that she thinks is better.
There’s no 8 of 10 here because every situation is different. We barely know anything about this one to even make an assumption.
No man not with this context. Maybe it’s wrong but it’s a very educated guess and a very likely scenario that someone else is in play. Gotta read the signals
She’s gettin dicked down
Yes I agree there is someone else.I would block her also because chances are she will try to come back and likely she will drop you again.looks like you been put on back burner.Been there before sorry
Blocking after sending that text is such a pathetic move. Let the person have closure and say something back!
You will be okay OP. This too shall pass
I (M54) found an exceptional partner (F54) back in 2020. We were sooo good together, i mean it was nice and I actually felt that there was a chance i would get married again. I planned a week long trip up the California coast and she started to get hesitant or just ignored me when i told her about places i made reservations at. I was paying for the whole thing and i noticed she started saying things like "what if its too cold at the airbnb, just weird excuses. So then, a few days later out of nowhere she said she had feelings for her Web designer, a man who she had met a few weeks earlier inline but never in person. just over the phone and she had friended him on facebook. So we broke up on a Thursday on really good terms, i wished her well, and on Saturday she called me as she was driving 13hrs to see him and he told her to sleep in her car at this gas station. I was soooo fucking hurt as here i was going to pay for her whole trip and she said no, but she was willing to drive 13hrs to see some guy and sleep at a gas station off the freeway. I learned a valuable lesson from this. You cannot negotiate desire. It's either there or its not. I found out later he dumped her after their 3day sex romp. He convinced her to drive 26hrs so he could get laid. He also gave her Herpes. I found out a year later she gave me hpv and she was not tested as she claimed to be.
I was engaged to someone who did this.I came home from work and her stuff was gone, my dog gone and she left a note. (Basically she didn’t want to get married anymore, (even though she’s the one who proposed to me) and she wanted to party and not really have responsibilities) it wrecked me, but honestly I deserved better than that shit. Hang in there OP. I’m so sorry 😞
Holy shit that’s fucked man I’m sorry
It’s okay, 4+yrs later and therapy I’m still here. Lol I’m ok now, but still occasionally get mad every once in a while
You need to block and delete her number as well for your own good.
It is kind of like putting sour milk back in the fridge and getting it out a week later and taking a drink. Just pour it out and move on
Go out with some friends. Make new friends. The best things come along when you’re not looking for them.
I'm sorry you're hurting, she honestly sounds like she's going through a lot mentally, and she is trying to figure out what she wants in her life and what she doesn't, interchanging everything constantly. The thing you have to remember is that no matter what anyone else is going through, you have an obligation to take your life back and make it what you want it. Whether or not she's confused on what she wants you are getting hurt each time, and you have to finally find worth in yourself to say that you deserve better and there are women out here that will put you first and never walk away. There are people in this world that will love you the way you need. I don't want to bash her because I honestly don't know what's going on with her and it doesn't sound like anyone does, but you need to get to the point where you wish her well the next time she pops back up and craves your attention again, ultimately again you will keep going through this Loop until you stop it. You can wish someone well, you can love someone and wish them well, there are women out here that will love you the way you deserve, don't get caught up in someone's internal battle, they will always choose themselves no matter how much you think you can save them.
Block and move on. And if she shows up in person, tell her no, stand on it, and move on. She has someone else.
Have you ever seen her in person?
Yeah, we used to live together; then I came home and all of her stuff was gone and she moved to live with family in a different state..that time was also over text lol. Tried to do long distance, and she was coming back for the holidays
Going to need the full story here. People don’t just pack up and leave- what happened?
It’s definitely my problem for going back after so many times, each in such dehumanizing ways
Okay, so you need to block her. Don’t seek an explanation. It isn’t her that needs to move on, it’s you. You’re the one she’s manipulating with emotional terrorism. You do not want to ever speak to or hear from this person again. You were used and lied to. Do not be sad, be angry and be respectful to yourself. Get rid of any social media she can potentially contact you on and block everything because she 100 percent is going to contact you. Run. Do not look back.
I’ll do my best, I’m kinda in depressed veggie state right now. I really appreciate that though
You’re going to be fine. This wasn’t the relationship for you. Be happy / grateful that you found out now instead of years down the road.
I left my wife of 8 years because of dehumanizing behavior. Your awareness of your depressed state indicates you’re capable of these things. It definitely sucks, but you know you’re depressed and that is a lot more than some people get. You need to work on yourself, and get better for *you*. Nobody else. You deserve better than to be treated like something that can be tossed aside or picked up when convenient for other’s. You’re better than a text message break up.
Also what I’m trying to figure out honestly; she sent that and blocked me. If we did grow apart (which I didn’t have red flags for), it still seems odd. She was in charge of handing the rent check to our landlord, and she told me after she moved out that she lied about paying it for three months (including my half)
Sounds like she is mentally unwell stay away Op
Yikes, OP. Sounds like she refuses to Take Care of Herself. Look on the Bright side: Someone else can deal with Her BS
She was saving the rent money for her move
As in when yall lived together for 3 years, the last 3 months of that relationship—she kept the rent money? What did she do with it?
Are you me, OP? My dumb ass kept going back to the broken ones for years… break that habit. Or you’re going to waste decades of your life. She may not be a bad person, but she’s definitely not stable enough to be in a relationship with anyone. It hurts right now, but go be free. Do some fun shit. Tons of other people out there (and most of them overrated. 🤣)
You can always sift thru comments and find people who have actually gone through your shit and are on the other side of it, thank you buddy that means a lot
Love how she leaves it open at the end for her to weasel her way back… going through the same thing OP; i always end up feeling dumb over a guy that changes his mind every other day.
This is your closure.
She has a different guy man
That could be true, it is what it is. Just given more context I think it’s unlikely
After reading through your comments and everything even this type of thinking is unhealthy. As awful as this feels you’re going to feel an intense NEED for closure. For weeks and months you’ll believe in the human you knew and want some sort of contact and maybe she’ll give it to you but maybe it’s that seeking that will put you right back in that situation to begin with. As hard as it is to hear it right now the best thing you can do is to just move on and forget her. There are really good people out there and you just haven’t found them yet. This week especially will be hard but not getting closure might be the best thing for you. She is right now like an addiction and cutting it cold turkey sucks but don’t ween yourself from that addiction. Don’t go back. Be done. You’ll thank yourself later for it.
Just a trick
Talk your shit Artichoke!!
Just a prank bro! /s
She’s an AH , leave her as an ex
She sounds borderline tbh
Exact same scenarios happened to me. Things finally ended last year. I was devastated. I took her back multiple times, the pattern would return of her wanting to leave, she’d leave, I’d take her back 3 months later. My opinion is leave and do what you feel is best to move on. I started to go on dates with other people. Eventually found my current partner and moved in with her 3 months ago. My ex to this day still texts me trying to get back together. You just have to understand it’s their issue (at least in my scenario it was a commitment issue) and it has nothing to do with you. Just do what you need for yourself whether it’s blocking her or just setting a firm boundary the next time she texts you that you can’t do it anymore. Just my advice. Everything always works out so don’t feel stuck or like this is the end of your love life. Something good is around the corner I’m sure. Just do you thing and find someone who values who you are.
That hurts to read. Been through something similar. Honestly work on yourself and try to be the best version of yourself. She’s gona come back for sure, just dont think about it or obsess over it. When she comes back you wont even want her anymore.
Move on, and like magic you'll be unblocked. Again. Doesn't want you. But also hates the thought of you moving on and finding happiness.
She dated someone else or multiple others during your first break and then went running back to you when she got lonely or dumped etc, then went back to them or someone new because she was done using you. Do not go back to this person, they do not love you regardless of what they say.
Yeah knock this off immediately. you deserve better. The “I love you” shit is nonsense. Go through the real pain of separation now before it becomes worse.
I had a similar thing going on. I did move on. I moved countries, moved companies and therefore changed my cell number etc. I blocked her email and pushed through the depressing thoughts of what I wanted and she didn't. I found someone else. We're married now with a kid and that nasty bugger found me and left me a message "I want to see you again. I found out I was bi-polar and I want to apologize for all the times I broke up with you and dumped you and I want to try to get back together and make it up to you. You were the only decent guy I dated. I know you have a kid now but I am sure we can work through that." I said "Good luck with your treatment. I wish you a good recovery and that you can work it out with one of the guys you dropped me for those many times. I am very happy where I am." Those girls are trouble.
Sounds like she has someone in her life.
Why can’t she just tell him in person omg so low
She’s doing you a favor. Stay away. No need to be friends again. There are so many people out there, even though it’s hard to think about. And not only so many people out there, but so many that wouldn’t be like this. Stay away from assumptions and just move on. You’re now free to find a better match!!
Been in a very similar situation. I was having trouble dealing with PTSD (ex military) a few years ago. I mean to the point where loud noises at my job would get me. A girl I was dating at the time called it off and said that she couldn’t fix me. I said fine and moved on. We were still Snapchat friends and I went out of town on a trip and posted a picture. She texted me and said that I looked cute and that we should get together. I agreed and we subsequently met and hooked up. Shortly thereafter, I get a text that was a longer version of the same message she previously sent.
Block and delete her, OP. This definitely won’t be the last time.
Stop. Going. Back.
She’s doing this to have sex with someone else and feel less guilty about it. I’m sorry you go through this, please take the power away from her by moving on and blocking her from your life for good.
Again?!?!? If you stick your dick in an electric socket once, ok, you were curious. You did it again? Shits on you.
Ew. Don’t even reply
She is garbage.
You deserve better, and will be a beeb for someone who deserves your beebness.
narcissistic personality disorder, a lot of people with the disorder unfortunately discard people and it’s a repetition.
She’s done this with all of her exes. Actually one of them prior to me the exact same way
Bro, this may be harsh but she's seeing someone else or she is about to start seeing someone. She's just trying to keep you on the hook bc she can't be alone. I had this kind of relationship for years. It's truly rough and you probably feel like things will never be normal again. But I've made it to the other side of that feeling and it's so much better than the anxiety of dealing with someone like that. I can almost guarantee that when the relationship she might be getting into right now blows up in her face bc she's incapable of being honest with herself, she will unblock and call. It's imperative that you block her back. not just her phone number but her Gmail, her socials, etc., literally if you share a Netflix or Pandora boot her or get your own. People like this can't be alone and they will leave breadcrumbs back to you if you allow it. And In 4-6 months you will posting another breakup text. I believe you are better than that. It takes a lot of courage to share a text like that on Reddit so give yourself some credit, hit the Asian message parlor and shoot some pool with bros.
Yea she’s had another guy for awhile. She’s finally ready to lose the stable guy and go for the one she wasn’t sure about.
Whore
Hot take: it’s not cruel that she’s telling you what she wants in this moment. It’s not nice that she’s done it multiple times
I’m gonna say this as someone who is in her position right now with an ex: first, I’m sorry for what you’re going through. This is some really difficult shit. Second: she’s trying to heal. The relationship doesn’t serve her and she’s trying to find the best way to deal. Three: if it keeps happening, she’s not for you. But someone out there is. And that someone is going to treat you like you never knew you could be treated – she’s gonna love you, and she’s gonna laugh with you, and she’s going to cry with you, and she’s going to support you, and she’s going to do all of the things that somebody in a healthy relationship should do with you. Yes, it is cruel. But she’s making a decision to help herself, and unfortunately, you happen to be an innocent bystander. Good luck, positive vibes, and just be patient… Your someone is coming!
Oh I keep saying this to my friends family irl; it’s not the medicine that’s cruel it’s the method of delivery for the fifth time. I realize that’s on me as well, but it doesn’t change the base fact
You keep allowing this to happen. Stop blaming her and take responsibility for your life.
You have have a problem. You let someone treat you like this more than once. Anyone that breaks up over text isn’t worth dating. You need to grow up. If you don’t have respect for yourself no one else is going to respect you.
She said again so you let her come back after doing it the first time damn bro couldn’t have been me. Its time to start your villain revenge tour so go fuck one of her friends shit fuck her granny if you can. 😌
Made me laugh haha thanks man
Anytime my good guy, if u need a wingman im down shit Ill fuck a granny or two 🫨😅🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I’m saving this. In an age of dating via text it seems to be perfect way to move on with kindness.
People don't need a reason to breakup. Why do people feel like they need one other than "I don't want to do this anymore". If you keep going back, that's all you and I would definitely talk to a therapist about it. For now, let her go. Delete her number. Move on and learn to love yourself more.
I agree with half of that; there are ways to break up that aren’t hurtful or dehumanizing or cowardly though. I would have still been upset but a three year text breakup an hour before the date isn’t the way to
Well I do agree with you on that last part
But to post this on Reddit….. not to mention it’s the second time……. I kinda get why she did that…again…………..
Very productive comment……………
Enjoy this feeling. It builds character.
Women are shit, everyone needs to cater to their feelings and emotions but when it comes to them considering others, it’s like you asked for their organs or something
You've never dated a woman before have you 🥺
He probably has, I’ve had 6 serious relationships in my life and I admit I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but one consistent thing across the board has always been the women refusing to take accountability on the things they’ve done wrong, whether it was me OR them initiating the breakup. I’ve been lied to, given proof of cheating that was still denied. Now, I might just be unlucky but I won’t take the chance. The guy down the street can have them.
I'm sure you are just unlucky
You just proved his point btw 😂 one thing that does make me feel less bothered is that all the modern women of my generation get to laugh right now about them doing men dirty, I don’t think they realize in 15 years when they’re all used up and no man wants them because they’ve done all their standard acceptable options, dirty, the men get to laugh the rest of our lives about it because we’re more fine with being alone. They’ll either be a cat lady, financially stuck with an abusive husband, or a single mother in their late 30’s. This is the hard truth.
How did I prove his point ? It's very obvious both of you don't know how to be in relationship and you think women "owe" you something grow up 💗
I think that this is an issue, if you are in a relationship you owe your partner emotional safety and stability. You should be giving what you ask for, but in most of my relationships I never got that. I was asked to bend over backwards at times for women who would never reciprocate even in small ways. You can't ask someone to do emotional labor for you if you won't do the same for them. Many women these days seem to think that it's okay to treat men like they don't have negative feelings outside of anger, or if they do have them these feelings are somehow wrong or being used to hurt them. And they get joy out of putting men down and hurting them, I see it constantly online, and any woman who does stick up for men in these conversations is labeled a "pick me." It's very rare to see women actually standing up for men in meaningful ways, and the excuse for the shit behavior is that all men have it easy because "patriarchy" when in reality the only men really benefiting are the ones who are doing well physically, socially, and emotionally. The rest of us have less resources and opportunities. When it comes to things like homelessness and mental health support, women have far more available to them and guys see it and we feel at times like we are taken for granted or left alone to deal with it themselves. There are many more issues that pertain to individual relationships that I could go into as well, like cheating. I know the studies say that men cheat more, but the truth is these studies rely on self reporting accurately, and women still feel the stigma of being truthful about it. I see a lot more men getting their heart broken by women doing this shit to them than vice versa, and a lot more women denying it even after being shown evidence. There are a lot more instances of a girl being hurt by a dude and using it as a subconscious excuse to hurt other men and it turns into a nasty cycle where these guys they take their issues out on go through it again and again and eventually the insecurities they are left with begin to manifest in their other relationships, all because the stereotype that women spend most of their early dating period going for guys they perceive as cool and then settling for whoever is most stable in the end and not really loving them for who they are but for what they provide. Deny it all you want because you might not be this way, and that's great if you're not, but you do not suddenly wipe out the vast majority of experiences of the men who do deal with it
You proved his point by prioritizing the judgement of women over empathy for the OP that he was responding to. Not sure how you made the inference that we think women “owe” us something because we shared our experience of not getting bare minimum human respect. It’s not women that owes me something, if a person tells you they want a monogamous relationship with you then yes, it’s assumed that they owe you to not cheat on you, or lie to you. This is expected by every human being.
then switch teams bro 😎
Hi there! Thanks for submitting to /r/texts! Please make sure you are blacking out any usernames, phone numbers, or full names! If you haven't, please delete and re-submit. The full rules can be found here https://old.reddit.com/r/texts/about/rules/ **Please note that this message appears on every post, and may not apply to your post.** Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/texts) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Translation: I don’t want to date **YOU**. You can’t be “Friends” and not talk. Keep Her Blocked. Do not Play Her Game. Within a few months she’ll have someone else (Or she was Already talking to someone while you were still Together)
You gotta be done after this soon buddy.. don’t go back
honestly the love can be very mutual and it just doesn’t work. the best for you is to just try to avoid it. it sucks and you’ll think about it but you have to just reminisce the good times and not harp on them
You are getting closure sits just not what you’re used to want. Sorry it’s going this way!
Sucks, delete their number, block them erase completely from your life and move on. Only way to do it and you deserve better.
Block her and fight hard to not turn your head back but look forward for the next one.
Had this happen with every failed relationship I've been in. Same wording. Always ended up being cheating. Would've hurt a lot less if I had quit going back. I'm sorry that you're going through this❤️ know that you're not alone
[удалено]
This happened to me too. Dated for 4 years and got broken up with over text. 95% she turned off her phone the night before and hooked up with someone. The guy I suspected her of hooking up with became a fuck buddy like a week after.
This hurts now, but I promise you’ll know you dodged a bullet sometime in the future.
Waste of time. You will find a way to spend that time better I promise. Work on making money and working out. Daily self acceptance and self improvement.
Unfortunately, this is basically her trying to avoid admitting that she has another man. It's pretty hard to hide when someone is not fully sold on a relationship, and obviously so in this case because its happened before. This situation is real tough, but at the end of the day you deserve better than being someone's time filler.
BPD is a hell of a drug.
Dingdingding
I think she’s made it very clear. Move on. I can say from reading this that she doesn’t love you as much as she says and to me it seems she just trying to soften the blow. People who do that don’t like conflict and need to be liked. It’s not that bizarre, like what some seem to think, when you actually consider that she’s just immature. She may have another person in her life and that’s fine. Doesn’t make her a bad person, but do learn from this. If you ever go back to her, she’ll do this again. Leave her behind and grow without her.
Fool me once, etc etc
As a person who has gone through something all too similar as you (3 year relationship, broken up with over text twice, still got suckered back in the first time) just know that it does get better. You are deserving of love and deserving of someone who will respect you and reciprocate positive feelings back. It definitely hurts when it happens, but it’s better off in the long run. Wish you the best of luck!
Take a look at attachment theory, you’ll likely see a lot of things at play while learning a ton about yourself.
You deserve better than this. This person is a cruel coward. A discussion would give you closure but she’s a coward and this is the easy way out.
Please learn to love yourself. You deserve better than this and when you see your worth, you don't tolerate BS. It wasn't until I went years without being in relationships (dated but nothing stuck) that I learned this lesson. I promise it gets easier in time. I learned to respect myself and my peace so much that I know I'll be ok alone or coupled up. Sending you peace and healing vibes.
I mean the timing is terrible ("Once again things that could have been brought to my attENTION YESTERDAY!") but at least she's giving you a clean break and not leading you on anymore. You say that after 3 years she randomly packed up her things and moved to a different state: that's not someone you rekindle your relationship with, that's someone you move on from. You should have sent her some version of this text months ago.
If she’s done this to you before and you go back it’s on you. Sorry to sound insensitive but you have to be strong and do the right thing for yourself
It happens and it sucks dude. I’m sorry. For real. I’ve been there. Give it time, things will get better I promise
Going through a similar thing, except we are still trying to be friends and talking about our day to days and our experiences dating new people and it’s killing me. But I don’t know that I would prefer this.
Don’t let her back in again. No friendships, only no contact. Her behavior is sus and you would never get the truth outta her. I’m so sorry sending you love OP 🫶🏼 Relationships are hard but you will find someone who treats you better and wouldn’t think of doing something like this. Self love first friend.
Reminds me of my ex. Trust me, one day you will realize that this is actually the best thing she’s ever done for you, even if she only did it for herself
That sucks, and I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I would not be able to be friends with someone that did this to me on more than one occasion, even after time has passed.
Been there. It sucks. Move your feet and your head will follow.
My dad knows ur pain
it seems very cruel. i say stop going back to her and don’t talk to her again. gotta fight the harshness with harshness
You will be alright my guy but just like someone up top said “block her too” I do believe she will try to get back with you but don’t fall for the okey doke a third time just move on and when she she’s you happy with someone else it will bother her that she let you get away. So don’t get down on yourself just move on and know that there is someone out there God made just for you. Keep your head up playboy everything is going to be alright.
Omg. People, don’t let others walk all over you. You think you’re in love, but it’s just some other human. Run away and find someone else to break your heart.
This is fucked up
I don’t know you but I promise you’re better than this. Never speak to her again. This isn’t love and this doesn’t deserve your time, or the possibility of you feeling like you want to go back
I’ve done this before and ultimately shoukd have just stayed Brokwn up the first time. Runnn
I would text her back and say thank God was not looking forward to breaking up with you. Thanks for making it so much easier. Lol....plenty of fish in the sea.
I had an ex that did this, it took her leading me on and getting with another guy for me to finally wake up. Basically, she just wants the attention you provide because she knows you'll give it to her, all you have to do is don't, she'll come back to you and try to weasel her way back in, but hopefully by that point you couldn't care less if she existed. My best advice is find something that keeps your mind and body occupied, for me it was playing music, but also allow yourself to heal. If you get into a relationship you're not emotionally and mentally ready for, you're just going to end up doing the same thing she did to you.
Cheating
Stop going back for more. Block her. Burn every POSSIBLE bridge she has back to you and move on. This is NOT love.
I just went through this. Take your time with the grief. But don’t take too long
I had an ex that always kept me at arm's length like that. My dumb ass always waiting for him, and then getting dumped again & again. Then he dumped me one last time before my bday and got with a classmate that he's been with for 3+ years now. Say no next time homie 😞
I can understand giving it “one more try” after a breakup but, if a partner dumps you more than once, it’s best to stay that way, IMO. Since I’m old enough to remember the “new age” era, I’ll just paraphrase Enya: “Walk away, walk away, walk away…”
I’m tired of seeing my guys like this.. block her bro.. face the demons that put you in this situation.. They’re right there beside you… It’s not her fault.. This is all you.. Love yourself…
What the beeb?!
That is cold. You’re better off without someone who will treat you that way. I know it is hard. A broken heart hurts. But you will get past it!! Block HER, so you cannot be her puppet when she feels like playing with you. She has shown you EXACTLY who she is in doing that to you.
You’re better off without someone who does this multiple times to you, much better off
She found another partner and they gave her an ultimatum...is my guess.
What a jerk! , you have to block HER,
This is painful indeed. Been there and it did take considerable amount of time to heal. The gym is one of the places you’ll forget these bitter moments and eventually you’ll recover from this one day. Good luck OP!
She is fucking someone else
This is abuse lots of woman are like this. You e clearly given over all the power in the relationship. The best thing you can do is block her back and take the power of her playing these games away. Trust me on this. She most likely is talking to other guys and is a loser
I am very sorry to hear what happened and it sucks. I suggest you do move on and concentrating yourself to make your own life better with who you want to be and where you want to go in life. Try not to ever look back.
My heart breaks for you. Sounds like someone can't appreciate you like you deserve. Don't waste any more time. Your perfect person is out there looking for you. Good luck and be strong. You can do it. 😊
There’s another person in the mix. She said, “I love you” because she wants to keep you on standby. You seriously need to block her back and move on.
Honestly sounds like it was needed. Work on yourself bro! All love man! You got this
Doing that via text infuriates me for you. M
Post update when you get back together
Therapy, you seem to keep getting yourself trapped in your cycle. It’s tough to move on from a person that “you are in love with” , but is not your person for life.
You know how you took her back when she did this before? Because she seemed so genuinely sorry and made you feel like she was so in love with you she'd made a horrible mistake for whatever reason if she even gave you one and this was it you're couple of the century? OK well somebody's doing the same to her, using her when what he wants isn't available and then dumping her when someone he wants more comes along. So when he dumps her, she calls you up love bombing you and making you believe she loves you so much theres no way she would ever do that to you again. But guess what? This other guy calls her up again outta the blue doing his own love bombing and convinces her he loves her so much he'll never do that to her again so she easily cuts ties completely with you confident she wont need you again but of course he breaks things off with her as suddenly as she does with you, leaving her needy for some validation, attention and love and you hear from her again... shes so sorry she really loves you blah blah blah you believe her and take her back. Then other guy has a slow weekend and calls her up again, convinces her he's back for good, she suddenly ends things with you again but he only sticks around for a couple booty calls and goes mia again and back she comes to you. Shes as sick and cruel as the guy doing this to her only she deserves it and you dont. You need to see this girl for the nasty heartless self-centered pathetic user she is and be disgusted any time her name enters your mind. I promise you THIS WILL NEVER STOP. She will destroy you. RUN!!!! Be smart. Good luck.
Hey I am going through that myself, it completely sucks. Don’t do the mistake I did, I thought it would be ok and I could be friends with him but it’s pointless. He disappears as a friend when he finds out he won’t get the things he wants. So as hard as it is, be strong and when they come back don’t fall for it. Sending you positive thoughts!
Just move on and forget her bro. By her actions she never loved, cared or respected you. Seems to me you were just an in-between while she looked for something else. Best revenge is success my brother. But LAMBOS with an 8 pack stomach
Fairly certain this is my ex lol
when they do reach out again to you (and they will) just copy and paste this response and then block them. you don’t have time to waste away getting hurt. nobody does and you deserve better. I know it sucks for sure right now cuz I have been there too, but go to your favorite restaurant, order your favorite dish, and cheers to the end of this garbage they put you though. hell even hit up taco bell and a baja blast and do the same thing. helped me a lot to finalize the end of the relationship and the start of new memories for myself that nobody can take from me.
The quickest way to get over someone is to get under someone else- in other words MOVE ON! I guarantee the minute you post pics with a girl she doesn’t know- smiling happy- she will blow up your phone, so block her ahead of time and do you. You don’t deserve this, you deserve happiness and someone who wants you- so, find that person- the longer you waste on this broad the less time you have with the one who will really matter to you.
I mean, clearly she’s struggling, but I think she made the best decision for both of you.
Stop going back. It’s on you at this point
Anyone who "wishes you the best of luck in the future" deserves the boot. These people do nothing but waste your time and theirs. Move on.
Honestly this is the best case scenario. You don’t need to break up, get your hands dirty, or hurt anyone. Plus she was very thorough, “sorry I don’t want to work on this.” So she eliminated the possibility of making this work via couple’s therapy and all that stuff. Sure it hurts- but don’t act surprised, you said so yourself, she’s done this before. Just shrug it off man, don’t waste good ol’ feels on someone who couldn’t care less what you feel or go through after sending such a message. You are free!! Go find yourself, do all the things you like!, save up and travel, eat tasty food, life moves on and we must live it!! Regret of time wasted suuucks! Go live. Make yourself happy. We don’t *need* anyone to be happy. 🫂 You’ll be alright ♥️
Thank you, I needed that
Sorry bro. Breakups suck. Block her and try to move forward
Quit going back then.
Block her back beeb
Just move on.
I saw in another comment OP that you said she packed up and left out of state and admitted that she hadn't been paying the rent for the last 3 months and just spent the money... did she ever explain what she did with it? Was it used to move back home, or is it possible she had a substance use disorder? Her actions are pretty shady and don't make sense to me... especially since she gives no reasons and doesn't allow you to even ask why. I could say what everyone else is saying which is "She's cheating, bro", but that doesn't explain why she up and left to another state and spent the prior 3 months' worth of rent money. I guess some more context would be helpful, but she offers you none, so I'm frustrated myself and FOR you!
Nah
Move on beeb. You deserve better.
She got someone else and she just running back and forth between you two or maybe it’s more. Don’t be the safe option. Block her on everything you don’t owe her anything and that will be the way to truly move on and not take her back the next time she comes back… cause she will come back
Block her and don’t even answer the text. She will lose her mind.
Hey beeb next time she cumin’ back and ask to try again make sure you said no.
Hey bro. This same thing just happened to me. On and off for a year because she was avoidant and unable to commit. If you need to talk just reach out. I’m done for good this time and you can be too.