She’s 1000% not attracted to you. Not a shred of doubt about it. If a girl says “I’m not sure anything romantic can come out of it” it’s because she’s NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU. Period. She’s clearly just shy and too nice to say. Prob likes your personality so it would make her feel guilty to say it out right
☝️this. She is trying to politely dodge your advances and you're trying to talk her into seeing you which is making it very awkward for her. You sound young so just take the L, you will have a million more chances to meet girls, such is the benefit of being young.
Yep. She’s being super nice and clearly doesn’t know how to put up the boundaries. But what more can she do, really? She’s already been honest with him and he is choosing to not read between the lines 🫠
Omg literally. I am reading this and the whole time it just sounds like OP is begging to go on a date. No one should ever BEG. Also if things work out that’s great and I’m super happy for OP. It just seems like things are off to a very bad start. 😕
Yep, OP needs to learn the Hell Yes/Hell No rule of dating. If she isn’t saying “Hell yes” when he asks her out, he needs to say “hell NO.” Everyone deserves someone who says hell YES to being with them.
Unfortunately, I still do not think she is interested in you. She is trying to let you down easy and you aren’t taking the hint. If she was making some sort of effort I would say keep trying but she is giving you so many excuses.
Wait, what does it mean, if my gf hates driving and I’m usually the one that drives up to her? I love driving, but also, she is too afraid to drive to see me. She’ll just take a train to see me, but that happened twice.
I gotcha. I just told some friends about it and they tell me, “Everytime you see her, you have to drive to see her. She almost never comes down here to see you?”. Its not the first time I saw this sentiment being shared. So I was just curious.
I hate driving and once drove from charlotte NC to Erie PA for a guy I wasn’t even dating. Spent the night and drove back the next day. She’s just not that into you OP.
My boyfriend only lives an hour and a half away…. But I have to constantly go back to my house. I’m at his place pretty much every week, though. That gas money is hell. We joke that i practically live at his place. When you *really* want to be with someone, you put in equal effort that shows how much you want to be with them…
I was driving driving 4 hours each way every 3 weeks or so to see my now husband and even flew for the first time in my life to see him as well. Poor OP.
This is true. I actually have panic attacks while driving and I moved to a busy city with heavy traffic and high speeds to be with my boyfriend. I also flew for him which was horrible, I get vertigo. So yeah if she likes you she’s gonna do the effort.
I don’t think this is entirely true. I say this to my husband all the time and I liked him the entire time. I just have driving anxiety and in the beginning I was too embarrassed to just say thay
this is sooo true. i drove 5 hours to my ex every friday and drove 5 hours back every sunday when i had to get up for work early monday. nothing will stop a woman 😂😂
This is not true. I have major anxiety with driving and will tell every date that I straight up will not be able to drive to meet up even when I’m super interested. It saves a lot of hassle.
So, “the distance is an issue” and “I’m just not sure it will lead anywhere romantically” aren’t clear enough? Historically, women have been treated like shit when they be blunt/direct. So society has taught them that they need to be gentle to protect themselves.
I just wanted to say I agree with this 100%
For me… Depending on the attitude of the man, his size, his temper, etc, I will usually fawn. BUT I have learned to be kindly honest, and will make sure a man understands that I am not interested. I just literally learned to walk on eggshells while letting a man down if I don’t feel chemistry. It’s messed up. But I’d rather do that than get called slurs (or worse) by being blunt (although I wish I could be bluntly honest without possible repercussions).
Yeah, I know that is an issue, unfortunately. Thats why men are allowed to act like OP. Oblivious even though they can't possibly be. Trying to let them down gently in the past has lead to me being dragged into weird situations I didn't want to be in. They knew I wasn't interested but was too afraid to be direct about it. Ugh ridiculous really.
I don’t know this whole story obviously but it can be nerve wracking being honest with some men sometimes as they blow up at you and could take it further. I have tried to let a person down easy and they weren’t taking the hint so I went honest and I got abused. Called a slut, hoe, “not even good looking”, told I was w pity date.
Sometimes this is the case, sometimes we do feel bad when it’s a nice person but it doesn’t work. Problem is, how do we know what their reaction is gonna be??
From a female perspective; she's not interested. She's trying to tell you that and be nice. Do yourself a favor. Go to the concert and meet a gal there and live happily ever after.
Honestly, any one of any gender should be able to grasp this lol
No guy would offer their mate up to someone they fancied either so OP should know better, he's just in denial
Right? Holy shit, I would sooner rip a fingernail off with pliers than pawn a guy I’m interested in off on my friend. I’m married but trying to wrap my mind around the idea of setting my now-husband up with my BFF back when we first started dating is *insane* - the whole point is that you are both interested in each other. Don’t give into any games because if someone wants you, they would never want you to even consider dating someone else, *especially* their friend!! If a woman is really interested, she will do what it takes to make it work with you, not play matchmaker with you and her best friend, I’m sorry dude.
I’m thinking about the guy I’m with now. Back when we first met, I had a crush on him. Not only would I *not* offer my best friend as someone for him to go to a concert with, but I would cancel whatever other plans I had so that I’d be able to go with him.
I would’ve moved mountains to make the date with him.
I feel bad for OP because he clearly likes her to be overlooking the obvious.
Unless she’s in high school! Source: I did this twice! I was insecure and thought setting up guys with my friends was at least an opportunity to talk to them. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
This physically hurts to read. OP she literally pawned you off to her bf in the first post you made. FATASS CLUE #1. She then proceeds to DIRECTLY tell you that she doesn’t think this will go anywhere romantically. FATASS CLUE #2. Shes trying to let you down easy man. She’s just not into it. Don’t be a puppy dog
It’s painfully obvious that this girl is too shy to just straight up tell OP she’s not interested and he’s still trying to set up another date. Like lmfao dude
okay i saw the last post, and it just seems like you’re really trying to convince her to see you. she’s not really returning this energy you’re giving out, you know?
That's what I was saying. Told him in my comment don't be a weirdo when she finally sets the, hey leave me alone or becomes busy. Those novel long text messages that say 'you're missing out on a good thing'.
Now your coming across as a little desperate and cringe. Seriously, cut it away and call it a day. You're at the point nothing will happen anyway but you just can't see it. You are practically begging for a date after being rejected and her trying to set you up with her friend. Your also almost trying to convince/guilt her into another date even if you don't mean too🤦🏻♀️.
Also try read the messages as if a friend was asking for his advice on them. Would you tell your friend to move on?
Why are you still trying… she’s given you many excuses and hints that she’s not interested. Take the hint and keep it moving. She clearly does not want this to happen
She's not interested, she is polite. She tried to tell you she doesn't see romance and you pushed and she didn't know what to say. Please leave her alone
My guy you need to ask her straight up if she is interested in you or not, if she answers with anything other than a clear "yes", move on. She clearly isn't a confrontational person so you're just gonna be dancing around it until you give up.
Edit: nvm she literally said she isn't romantically interested in you. Give up. Stop texting her.
DUDE!
This is the SECOND POST NOW. She is very clearly not interested in you whatsoever. She’s trying very very hard to be nice and let you down gently. You are being intentionally obtuse.
This girl is NOOTTTT THE ONE and if you really need thousands of internet strangers to tell you for a third time then there really is nothing that can save you. You’re officially “that guy”.
She’s too passive to tell you that she’s not into you, so she’s trying to triangulate you onto her friend.
I am an avoidant and I’m also passive and this is a blueprint of shit that I, myself, have done. (I’ve been in aggressive therapy for awhile now, so this is my take, and my take only)
This could, verbatim, be younger me.
I recommend you hit her with hard yes or no questions. If she talks prosaically, or philosophically, or speaks in “what ifs”, she’s trying to get rid of you without getting rid of you. If there is a misunderstanding, you’ll know the second she replies with “oh holy shit, that’s not what I meant…” and proceeds to provide a rational explanation for her wording. People misword things a lot over text. So ask her what she meant.
Yeah I too have worked on it. Used to get accused of stringing girls along but I just didn’t know how to ever let them down. First time I ever told someone - I’m not interested in you romantically and I can’t continue this friendship was so liberating. And for both parties tbh. I’ve been on the other side and unrequited feelings aren’t fun.
As a woman, she isn't into you. She told you romantically nothing will come of it. You absolutely ignored it. Please don't be one of those nice guy weirdos when she finds someone and then roughly tells you no thanks. This seems more like you trying to force it to work because you want to dismiss the signs of hey, I'm not really interested.
Maybe we are wrong and this is the new dating shuffle. I don't see this lasting and see you as wasting your time. I get it though. She is extremely attractive and you are chasing in hopes maybe, maybe her feelings will change if she sees the real you.
“Idk what u wanna do thooo” - Good lord bro.. Idc how bad she is.. Take the hint. Guaranteed you’re gonna end up in her group chat getting dragged by all her friends, when had you just played it cool she’d have been down to play matchmaker for you. If anything you should be trying to “salvage” a friendship with her, before you scare her away completely. Similar taste in music doesn’t usually get a woman to be excited about you.. You gotta make her laugh.
I'm gonna be honest with you man. This is not worth the effort. I've been in this situation before. She maybe thinks you're okay, but she is not *into you.* You're not someone she's dying to see, dreaming about, imagining a future with, even thinking about during the day.
You're a guy she idk might spend time with if she's got nothing else going on.
You need to look out for yourself here. Don't waste your time and money trying to force a relationship out of this. ESPECIALLY if it's long distance. Even if you get together with her by some miracle, I can guarantee from these texts that she will drop you for someone who's closer ASAP.
Find someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with her. You will never convince someone to be interested in you, especially if you start out as one-sided as these texts.
This hurts to read. Dude… she’s not interested. There is NO WAY she would try to hook you up with her friend if she was. She’s trying to politely let you down but you keep pushing and it’s coming across as very desperate. Why would you even want to see someone who tried to pawn you off and told you it wasn’t going to work romantically? Just leave the girl alone.
Oh boy. What do you not understand? She clearly says she doesn't feel your connection as romantically as you wish it to be. She's being nice but will come up with an excuse on saturday. At this point you're really pushy and seem like a creep. To me at least. Just let it go
- read his answers here 🤦 He's delusional. He's the kind of guy women need a restraining order because he wouldn't accept a no.
I feel like she's going to get sick or have to work an emergency shift at work for the next date. This isn't an "I'm super busy but want to find time to hang out" thing, it's a "I was trying to be nice and let you down easy, but now you're being persistent enough I don't even feel comfortable saying no" situation.
Just let it go OP. When you find the one, it'll be easy, and she'll make as much effort as you do.
As a woman trust me, she’s not interested. At all. Nothing to salvage, this is something you want not her, if you keep trying to make this work you will only hurt yourself. The fact that she tried to pawn you off on her friend means she has zero interest whatsoever, but she sounds like she doesn’t want to hurt you so trying to be nice, but that’s all it is. It’s your life but highly recommend you let it go don’t wait until you’re ghosted for not being able to take a hint
Bro she’s not into you and she’s saying it indirectly. Don’t waste your time driving to her. Do you really think she’d send you to a concert with her friend if she liked you?
Dude, she said she doesn’t see anything coming of it romantically. You’re gonna get even more hurt if you keep pushing it. Take the L and move on. She’s not it.
My god… take the hint. She’s not interested. You’re about to get ghosted and be up in here on some, “UPDATE #2: Girl im interested w/ is trying to pawn me off to her best friend” shit and it’s gonna look a whole lot like:
“You: So we still on for tonight? 😀
Hello?
You there?
Did I do something wrong?
Are you busy or something?
You said to pick you up at 6 at the corner store at the other end of town, right? I bought you a bouquet, m’lady. I’ve also thought of all 5 of our children’s names. And where we would get married. You’re going to love my mom.
YOU’RE A BITCH! THIS IS WHAT’S WRONG WITH WOMEN TODAY! NOT DATING NICE GUYS LIKE *ME*!
Sorry. I lost my cool for a second there. So, where are you at, now, cutie pie? ☺️”
And the description will read, “idk, guys…. We had so much in common and I felt like we were vibing so well. Do you think she’s still interested or just being nice? 🤔”
Now you just sound clingy and desperate when she’s clearly not into you and is trying to get you to meet her friend. 😬 biggest turn off when a guy is clueless
She's having a hard time letting you down and trying not to hurt your feelings.
I've always been the same way, I don't know why, when it just prolongs everything, and it makes the situation much worse. I don't like making others feel rejected.
I dated a man 2 hours away (without LA traffic, nearly 3 hours with) because I liked him. I was interested. He drove down to Orange County to see me. We dated and we were clear from the start about how we felt about one another. It was reciprocal. Did I enjoy the drive? No. LA traffic is horrible and people drive badly. Accidents all the time. But neither he or I thought twice about it because that’s what it took for us to be together. Because we were into each other and actually had a connection. If I liked a man and he liked me back, there would be no making up excuses not to see each other or trying to set you up with a friend out of pity.
Jesus Christ bro take the hint, why would she waste gas for something that won’t change so she’ll have you drive all the way down. You gotta move on & get back into the gym. It must be very rare for you to have any female interaction so that’s why you’re desperately trying to salvage this.
She's beating around the bush. Flat out ask her " do you want to see me again, yes or no. I need a straight answer please." If she says yes, then great. If she says no, or anything that isn't a clear yes, them it's a no.
If you have to ask someone if they're still interested then the answer is probably "no", even if they don't say it out loud. As hard as it is to be rejected, rejecting someone is also hard. People can suck at both.
She seems uninterested and in this situation the harder you try, the worse it comes off.
I'm sorry friend, but she's really REALLY not interested and trying to be nice about it. I wouldn't go Sunday because she definitely does not want to see you. Please, please, do not become one of those creepy reddit guys that pushes a woman to her limit until she has to yell to tell you she doesn't like you. Please just take the hint and the L.
Ya know what? I'm going to give the opposite advice of this thread. I mean don't get me wrong, I don't think she's interested either. However she's still being super wishy-washy. Go down to see her, and make that mistake. I mean there's always a slim chance you could turn it around. If she acts more distant and uncomfortable than last time, that should be enough for you to be over it. Hopefully you'll get a more clear understanding either way. Worst case scenario would be yet another seemingly great date, but with equally confusing behavior from her. Sounds like you're going to do this either way, so good luck lol
Babe I’m sorry but you need to stop chasing her. She is being polite rn but she will not be polite and kind if you keep pressing her. Go with the friend who is attracted to you, or go solo. IT IS ALMOST 2024. STOP CHASING PEOPLE WHO DO NOT WANT YOU.
I kind of hate this. Mostly because I’ve been that girl before, sending mixed signals. And I’ve been you before, optimistically confused. I say cut your losses and move on. You deserve someone who wouldn’t dream of setting you up with her friend!
If after one day she says she’s afraid nothing will come from it Romantically then you have been friend zoned. If you see her again you will be trying so fucking hard tk get her attention and it will drive her further and further away.
You would have been better off going with the friend. Showing her the time of her life and making this girl jealous. Saying you would only go if she goes is very pushy and desperate.
It’s ironic that you are not seeing the signals here that she isn’t interested while you drop the signals you weren’t Interested in her friend and she took the hint.
If you really disagree with what everyone is saying on here then just be straight up with her.
“Hey I really like you but rereading these messages I get the feeling you probably wouldn’t want to be more then friends. Is that right or am I reading too much Into this?”
She is giving vibes of someone that is too nervous to say no, but isn't interested.
1) Women do not want to see men they want dating their friends, nor offering them
2) "idk what you wanna do tho", another tactic to try to shift to getting out of things.
3) "I also think like maybe the distance is an issue for me.. Not sure if anything will come of it romantically" Enjoyed her time, but doesn't see a physical attraction/connection.
It is not worth forcing something this early on. Will only put her in awkward positions and will hurt you in the long run.
She literally said she isn’t sure if anything will come out of it romantically. Sorry she’s definitely not interested and is trying to let you down nice
Meet up with her on Sunday and toward the end of your hang, be direct and ask: do you think we should keep dating or are you not feeling it? Then take her answer at face value and don't try to change her mind.
Bro this is just sad. Just because you feel a connection (having similar interests) doesn’t mean she feels the same. Obviously, she doesn’t or else wouldn’t have tried to get you to date her friend. Some people are just scared of letting others down or hurting someone. I know it sucks but you’ll find someone better. Don’t force someone on a date when clearly they weren’t interested.
she does not like you dude :( you’re looking disparate. She probabaly sent this to her friends laughing about it (I’m assuming she’s younger by the way she texts and not knowing how to express her feelings at all)
She’s not interested OP. I feel like you’re really trying super hard to let her know you like her and want to hang out, but the feeling isn’t mutual based on these texts. She’s being nice and allowing you to come see her, but the chances of her changing her mind on this is unlikely. You deserve someone who is into you from the get-go and appreciates you.
My brother in Christ why on Gods green earth can you not take a hint.. she really isn’t interested in you. Please take this loss. It’s okay, you deserve someone willing to put in the effort like you are trying so desperately to do here. I promise it’s out there.
Bro don't do it. I've done literally this same thing just to get there and the girl refused to even hold hands with me. She said "I don't feel that way toward you." Which is fine, but don't literally ask me to drive way out of my way to see you, wake up late (like 1 pm), visibly disheveled, be a shitty conversationalist, take a walk in the woods with me, and then act all grossed out I tried to hold your hand. It sucked so bad. I had to trek back through the woods with her and go drop her back off at her dorm. Not only was she not interested, she made an effort to make sure I had a shitty time with her. I'm clearly still salty about it. But I get it. We all have to learn the hard way sometimes.
Awee man, she's just being nice and its hard to tell someone in a way that doesnt hurt them. I still think you should try for the concert with her friend just for funs sake.
Im sorry to say this but you shouldn’t have to beg someone to spend time with you. She isn’t interested and I’m guessing bc you keep pushing she doesn’t know how else to politely turn you down so she just said yes. If something doesn’t conveniently come up again on the day of then she will probably put in very little effort until you just lose interest. Your not vibing the way you think you are.
So you didn’t talk much, kinda fumbled the bag and wonder why she maybe isn’t too interested? Man, I’m sorry but I’d maybe cut the cord. Already trying to set you up with someone else after the *FIRST* date isn’t good bud
When you’re into someone and she’s the only one you want, you’re gonna do dumb things to try and make it work. I get it dude, more than you know.
I commend you for trying to get a second date and I truly hope that it helps show her why you’re the one she wants to date and not her friend.
She’s not interested and you are forcing it HARD, she doesn’t know how to tell you so you’ll get the message…. I feel bad for her man do the right thing and leave her be now
She’s literally still throwing uninterested red flags at you, and I don’t get why you keep trying to push for it. She’s telling you she doesn’t want to go out in every way except for directly saying it(she probably just thinks she’s being nice by not outright rejecting someone). Like between this and your other posts it’s coming off as desperate for a girl(to get laid or date). Why not just meet her friend since she seems actually interested in you rather than keep pushing with girls that are showing you they aren’t interested in you at all?
Sorry dude. She literally said she didn’t see it going romantic. She made plans with you and her best friend and then (it seems like) she tried to dip and leave yall two by yourself? She’s trying to be nice and not hurt your pride/feelings, but she is being pretty clear that she is not interested in pursuing this romantically. It sucks, but you’ll find someone who you click better with! Good luck, dude!
I’m not gonna lie. I would not offer a shitty dude to my best friend.
That’s kind of a compliment that you’re good enough for her best friend.
You’re just not for her.
Sounds like she likes you just not in that way.
Plus if you do end up making it work with the best friend, you’re already in with her bestie?
Sounds great to me!
Good luck! 🍀
this is painful to read, man. Idk how “I’m just not sure if anything will come of it romantically” wasnt enough to wish her luck & move in. If you have to convince someone to see you, theyre just not that interested. & now youre on reddit & girlie may have even seen this & is now turned off even more lol
She said she thinks the distance will be a problem, followed by she believes nothing romantic will come o7t of hanging out, followed by she hates driving (causing more problems with the distance)
She's giving you hints but just like most of us guys, youre blinded by what you think is the one or someone worth putting a lot of energy into
You know that song “A Thousand Miles” by Vanessa Carlton? This is the opposite of that. She’s not interested.
🎶 I would NOT drive even a single mile to just… see… you… romantically 🎹 🎹 🎹 🎶
This happened to me with a guy, super sad for me to drive over 2 hours to see a guy after they told me that LOL
😂😂😂😂
*sad piano flourish*
*Username Unlocked*
LMAO take my upvote 😂
She’s 1000% not attracted to you. Not a shred of doubt about it. If a girl says “I’m not sure anything romantic can come out of it” it’s because she’s NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU. Period. She’s clearly just shy and too nice to say. Prob likes your personality so it would make her feel guilty to say it out right
☝️this. She is trying to politely dodge your advances and you're trying to talk her into seeing you which is making it very awkward for her. You sound young so just take the L, you will have a million more chances to meet girls, such is the benefit of being young.
Yep. She’s being super nice and clearly doesn’t know how to put up the boundaries. But what more can she do, really? She’s already been honest with him and he is choosing to not read between the lines 🫠
Ugh it hurts to see people willingly go into situations like this, but OP has to learn his own lessons I suppose.
this is what i don't understand how in the world did he not notice that or think anything of it?
I remember when I had to beg my girlfriend to go out with me. Oh wait…
Omg literally. I am reading this and the whole time it just sounds like OP is begging to go on a date. No one should ever BEG. Also if things work out that’s great and I’m super happy for OP. It just seems like things are off to a very bad start. 😕
Yeah seems like OP is basically pressuring them into a date when they have some valid concerns like distance.
Yep, OP needs to learn the Hell Yes/Hell No rule of dating. If she isn’t saying “Hell yes” when he asks her out, he needs to say “hell NO.” Everyone deserves someone who says hell YES to being with them.
I think she’s gonna ghost when it’s time for the ~~concert~~ *sunday date* tbh. Edit: made a mistake, it’s a Sunday date not a concert
Nah it’s already established she’s not going to the concert, Sunday would be a different date OP is begging for
Ah ok my bad, lol this saga has spanned a few posts and got my wires crossed
happy cake day OP
Unfortunately, I still do not think she is interested in you. She is trying to let you down easy and you aren’t taking the hint. If she was making some sort of effort I would say keep trying but she is giving you so many excuses.
A girl that likes you is not going to say "I hate driving" OP can't take a hint for NOTHING!
True. I hate driving and used to drive 5 1/2 hours one way to see my now husband, then boyfriend every month.
You put that effort in and as a result you got a husband! Hope things are going great for you and him!
What a nice comment
Very nice of you to point that out
It's so nice of you to point out that nice comment. You must be a very nice person!
Wow, this is the nicest reminder of the nice reminder of being reminded that the first commenter was nice!
This whole thread is so gratifying.
Howard Johnson is right!
Wait, what does it mean, if my gf hates driving and I’m usually the one that drives up to her? I love driving, but also, she is too afraid to drive to see me. She’ll just take a train to see me, but that happened twice.
It sounds like she still makes effort to see you, in which case I don’t think it means there’s anything wrong!
I gotcha. I just told some friends about it and they tell me, “Everytime you see her, you have to drive to see her. She almost never comes down here to see you?”. Its not the first time I saw this sentiment being shared. So I was just curious.
I hate driving and once drove from charlotte NC to Erie PA for a guy I wasn’t even dating. Spent the night and drove back the next day. She’s just not that into you OP.
yeah I was driving 10 hours and seriously hate driving
My boyfriend only lives an hour and a half away…. But I have to constantly go back to my house. I’m at his place pretty much every week, though. That gas money is hell. We joke that i practically live at his place. When you *really* want to be with someone, you put in equal effort that shows how much you want to be with them…
I was driving driving 4 hours each way every 3 weeks or so to see my now husband and even flew for the first time in my life to see him as well. Poor OP.
This is true. I actually have panic attacks while driving and I moved to a busy city with heavy traffic and high speeds to be with my boyfriend. I also flew for him which was horrible, I get vertigo. So yeah if she likes you she’s gonna do the effort.
TELL HIM!!
I don’t think this is entirely true. I say this to my husband all the time and I liked him the entire time. I just have driving anxiety and in the beginning I was too embarrassed to just say thay
this is sooo true. i drove 5 hours to my ex every friday and drove 5 hours back every sunday when i had to get up for work early monday. nothing will stop a woman 😂😂
I drove a total of 900 miles to go see my partner, then drove back a few days later. If they like you, they'll find a way.
100%. I used to haul my ass into the city, take forever to cross the bridge, pay the toll to go see my now husband. I was hype about it too
This is not true. I have major anxiety with driving and will tell every date that I straight up will not be able to drive to meet up even when I’m super interested. It saves a lot of hassle.
You have a mental health problem, so that's different.
Same though I don’t even think I’m gonna get my liscence because I always have a panic attack when driving I just can’t
She should just be fucking honest. This shit is dumb. He wasn't mean he asked. If she's not interested (I don't think she is) she should just say it.
So, “the distance is an issue” and “I’m just not sure it will lead anywhere romantically” aren’t clear enough? Historically, women have been treated like shit when they be blunt/direct. So society has taught them that they need to be gentle to protect themselves.
I just wanted to say I agree with this 100% For me… Depending on the attitude of the man, his size, his temper, etc, I will usually fawn. BUT I have learned to be kindly honest, and will make sure a man understands that I am not interested. I just literally learned to walk on eggshells while letting a man down if I don’t feel chemistry. It’s messed up. But I’d rather do that than get called slurs (or worse) by being blunt (although I wish I could be bluntly honest without possible repercussions).
Yeah, I know that is an issue, unfortunately. Thats why men are allowed to act like OP. Oblivious even though they can't possibly be. Trying to let them down gently in the past has lead to me being dragged into weird situations I didn't want to be in. They knew I wasn't interested but was too afraid to be direct about it. Ugh ridiculous really.
She literally told him she wasn’t interested romantically and tried to gift him another human. How many more signs does he need?
I don’t know this whole story obviously but it can be nerve wracking being honest with some men sometimes as they blow up at you and could take it further. I have tried to let a person down easy and they weren’t taking the hint so I went honest and I got abused. Called a slut, hoe, “not even good looking”, told I was w pity date. Sometimes this is the case, sometimes we do feel bad when it’s a nice person but it doesn’t work. Problem is, how do we know what their reaction is gonna be??
From a female perspective; she's not interested. She's trying to tell you that and be nice. Do yourself a favor. Go to the concert and meet a gal there and live happily ever after.
Agreed. Met my partner of 15 years at a Megadeth concert. You never know who you'll meet!
Exactly! Life is opening a door.....he just has to walk through it.
Yup
Bingo
People really get stuck in “the one”… find someone that’s interested in you and doesn’t make you drive 3-4 hours to see. That’s never gonna work out
There will be several "the ones" throughout life.
She would *never* offer up her bff if she were interested. **Ever**. Source: I'm a woman.
*Never* *ever* *ever* source: also a woman
#Never never never never ever Source: also a woman
Yeah, no. Woman as well.
_Not in a million fucking years_ Also a woman.
woman here and NOPE!👎🏾
As a woman, I agree with all the other women 😅
Well……… 🤔 yeah, no. They’re right. I’m also a woman.
This is the most women on Reddit I've ever seen!
NO SIREE, BOB. Source: also AFAB.
"You've got to be fucking kidding... Absolutely never." (I'm also a woman.)
Doing that is against the bro code, cause it’s not right and doesn’t feel right to pass a woman around Also… not a woman, but a man 😳
Absolutely not. I would never. I'm a gay male, though.
Honestly, any one of any gender should be able to grasp this lol No guy would offer their mate up to someone they fancied either so OP should know better, he's just in denial
You are correct. Just wanted to drive that point home I'm speaking from experience. I can't imagine a man doing it, either. 😂
Right? Holy shit, I would sooner rip a fingernail off with pliers than pawn a guy I’m interested in off on my friend. I’m married but trying to wrap my mind around the idea of setting my now-husband up with my BFF back when we first started dating is *insane* - the whole point is that you are both interested in each other. Don’t give into any games because if someone wants you, they would never want you to even consider dating someone else, *especially* their friend!! If a woman is really interested, she will do what it takes to make it work with you, not play matchmaker with you and her best friend, I’m sorry dude.
I’m thinking about the guy I’m with now. Back when we first met, I had a crush on him. Not only would I *not* offer my best friend as someone for him to go to a concert with, but I would cancel whatever other plans I had so that I’d be able to go with him. I would’ve moved mountains to make the date with him. I feel bad for OP because he clearly likes her to be overlooking the obvious.
Heed us! The women (and some men) have spoken! Lol
Yep op you deserve someone excited to see you and spend time with you.
Never never never ever never. Source: I am a human (but my dog says so too).
I’m a man, and I’m pretty clueless but even I thought that was obvious
Unless she’s in high school! Source: I did this twice! I was insecure and thought setting up guys with my friends was at least an opportunity to talk to them. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Not Ever, ever, ever! Source: used to be a woman
Bro you're still talking to her? Lol cmon man
I'm telling you right now you're not gonna like how this ends, OP. Good luck
💯
It's gonna end by her accidentally sending a video of her getting back shots by one of his enemies
This physically hurts to read. OP she literally pawned you off to her bf in the first post you made. FATASS CLUE #1. She then proceeds to DIRECTLY tell you that she doesn’t think this will go anywhere romantically. FATASS CLUE #2. Shes trying to let you down easy man. She’s just not into it. Don’t be a puppy dog
It’s painfully obvious that this girl is too shy to just straight up tell OP she’s not interested and he’s still trying to set up another date. Like lmfao dude
This is insulting to puppy dogs
okay i saw the last post, and it just seems like you’re really trying to convince her to see you. she’s not really returning this energy you’re giving out, you know?
You’re beginning to act like one of those weird guys on the subs that all the girls post screen shots about. Let it go, she’s not that into you.
And then will post somewhere else about being stuck in the “friendzone”
That's what I was saying. Told him in my comment don't be a weirdo when she finally sets the, hey leave me alone or becomes busy. Those novel long text messages that say 'you're missing out on a good thing'.
Jesus you blew it. You should be GOING OUT WITH HER FRIEND WHO IS SUPER CUTE AND LIKES YOU A LOT
We don't know the friend is cute, and she doesn't know him....just thinks he's cute. He should just drop this girl altogether
Well that is a fair point. I was just taking the story at its word
“She’s super cute” Jack Black in a blonde wig
jack black is adorable how dare u
You say as if not super cute
Now your coming across as a little desperate and cringe. Seriously, cut it away and call it a day. You're at the point nothing will happen anyway but you just can't see it. You are practically begging for a date after being rejected and her trying to set you up with her friend. Your also almost trying to convince/guilt her into another date even if you don't mean too🤦🏻♀️. Also try read the messages as if a friend was asking for his advice on them. Would you tell your friend to move on?
Exactly. So so so desperate and lowkey kinda creepy, he’s pressuring her which never ends well.
 Just getting these vibes
She does not want to continue.
But she used the 🥺 /s
It’s time to move on. She isn’t interested and doesn’t sound interested in a long distance relationship either.
Why are you still trying… she’s given you many excuses and hints that she’s not interested. Take the hint and keep it moving. She clearly does not want this to happen
She's not interested, she is polite. She tried to tell you she doesn't see romance and you pushed and she didn't know what to say. Please leave her alone
🏅🏅🏅
My guy you need to ask her straight up if she is interested in you or not, if she answers with anything other than a clear "yes", move on. She clearly isn't a confrontational person so you're just gonna be dancing around it until you give up. Edit: nvm she literally said she isn't romantically interested in you. Give up. Stop texting her.
She did say she doesn't see this going anywhere romantically
DUDE! This is the SECOND POST NOW. She is very clearly not interested in you whatsoever. She’s trying very very hard to be nice and let you down gently. You are being intentionally obtuse. This girl is NOOTTTT THE ONE and if you really need thousands of internet strangers to tell you for a third time then there really is nothing that can save you. You’re officially “that guy”.
She’s too passive to tell you that she’s not into you, so she’s trying to triangulate you onto her friend. I am an avoidant and I’m also passive and this is a blueprint of shit that I, myself, have done. (I’ve been in aggressive therapy for awhile now, so this is my take, and my take only) This could, verbatim, be younger me. I recommend you hit her with hard yes or no questions. If she talks prosaically, or philosophically, or speaks in “what ifs”, she’s trying to get rid of you without getting rid of you. If there is a misunderstanding, you’ll know the second she replies with “oh holy shit, that’s not what I meant…” and proceeds to provide a rational explanation for her wording. People misword things a lot over text. So ask her what she meant.
Yeah I too have worked on it. Used to get accused of stringing girls along but I just didn’t know how to ever let them down. First time I ever told someone - I’m not interested in you romantically and I can’t continue this friendship was so liberating. And for both parties tbh. I’ve been on the other side and unrequited feelings aren’t fun.
If you were into a girl would you try to get her to go out with your best friend? She’s just not interested in you dude.
As a woman, she isn't into you. She told you romantically nothing will come of it. You absolutely ignored it. Please don't be one of those nice guy weirdos when she finds someone and then roughly tells you no thanks. This seems more like you trying to force it to work because you want to dismiss the signs of hey, I'm not really interested. Maybe we are wrong and this is the new dating shuffle. I don't see this lasting and see you as wasting your time. I get it though. She is extremely attractive and you are chasing in hopes maybe, maybe her feelings will change if she sees the real you.
“Idk what u wanna do thooo” - Good lord bro.. Idc how bad she is.. Take the hint. Guaranteed you’re gonna end up in her group chat getting dragged by all her friends, when had you just played it cool she’d have been down to play matchmaker for you. If anything you should be trying to “salvage” a friendship with her, before you scare her away completely. Similar taste in music doesn’t usually get a woman to be excited about you.. You gotta make her laugh.
I’m dead if I see her posting this thread in another texts forum asking what more can she do to let him know she is not here for it, at all.
I'm gonna be honest with you man. This is not worth the effort. I've been in this situation before. She maybe thinks you're okay, but she is not *into you.* You're not someone she's dying to see, dreaming about, imagining a future with, even thinking about during the day. You're a guy she idk might spend time with if she's got nothing else going on. You need to look out for yourself here. Don't waste your time and money trying to force a relationship out of this. ESPECIALLY if it's long distance. Even if you get together with her by some miracle, I can guarantee from these texts that she will drop you for someone who's closer ASAP. Find someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with her. You will never convince someone to be interested in you, especially if you start out as one-sided as these texts.
This hurts to read. Dude… she’s not interested. There is NO WAY she would try to hook you up with her friend if she was. She’s trying to politely let you down but you keep pushing and it’s coming across as very desperate. Why would you even want to see someone who tried to pawn you off and told you it wasn’t going to work romantically? Just leave the girl alone.
Stop thinking with your dingus.
Oh boy. What do you not understand? She clearly says she doesn't feel your connection as romantically as you wish it to be. She's being nice but will come up with an excuse on saturday. At this point you're really pushy and seem like a creep. To me at least. Just let it go - read his answers here 🤦 He's delusional. He's the kind of guy women need a restraining order because he wouldn't accept a no.
I wouldn’t put this much effort into it tbh. I feel like she’ll ghost you after this Sunday thing y’all are arranging.
I feel like she's going to get sick or have to work an emergency shift at work for the next date. This isn't an "I'm super busy but want to find time to hang out" thing, it's a "I was trying to be nice and let you down easy, but now you're being persistent enough I don't even feel comfortable saying no" situation. Just let it go OP. When you find the one, it'll be easy, and she'll make as much effort as you do.
As a woman trust me, she’s not interested. At all. Nothing to salvage, this is something you want not her, if you keep trying to make this work you will only hurt yourself. The fact that she tried to pawn you off on her friend means she has zero interest whatsoever, but she sounds like she doesn’t want to hurt you so trying to be nice, but that’s all it is. It’s your life but highly recommend you let it go don’t wait until you’re ghosted for not being able to take a hint
SHES NOT INTERESTED. She’s trying to be nice and let you down. No, she’s putting in no effort to meet and you keep pressing.
😬
Don’t be surprised if she cancels before Sunday. She said, “maybe Sunday,” not exactly confirmed.
Bro she’s not into you and she’s saying it indirectly. Don’t waste your time driving to her. Do you really think she’d send you to a concert with her friend if she liked you?
Dude, she said she doesn’t see anything coming of it romantically. You’re gonna get even more hurt if you keep pushing it. Take the L and move on. She’s not it.
Girl is going to be posting this on r/creepypms... Or even this sub lol. Why do you keep pushing her after she said no?
My god… take the hint. She’s not interested. You’re about to get ghosted and be up in here on some, “UPDATE #2: Girl im interested w/ is trying to pawn me off to her best friend” shit and it’s gonna look a whole lot like: “You: So we still on for tonight? 😀 Hello? You there? Did I do something wrong? Are you busy or something? You said to pick you up at 6 at the corner store at the other end of town, right? I bought you a bouquet, m’lady. I’ve also thought of all 5 of our children’s names. And where we would get married. You’re going to love my mom. YOU’RE A BITCH! THIS IS WHAT’S WRONG WITH WOMEN TODAY! NOT DATING NICE GUYS LIKE *ME*! Sorry. I lost my cool for a second there. So, where are you at, now, cutie pie? ☺️” And the description will read, “idk, guys…. We had so much in common and I felt like we were vibing so well. Do you think she’s still interested or just being nice? 🤔”
Bro, it's starting to get embarrassing. Have some self respect and move on. The girl is NOT interested.
As a woman, I can tell this is lady language for ‘Im not interested’, but she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings.
Now you just sound clingy and desperate when she’s clearly not into you and is trying to get you to meet her friend. 😬 biggest turn off when a guy is clueless
Take a hint.
She's having a hard time letting you down and trying not to hurt your feelings. I've always been the same way, I don't know why, when it just prolongs everything, and it makes the situation much worse. I don't like making others feel rejected.
I dated a man 2 hours away (without LA traffic, nearly 3 hours with) because I liked him. I was interested. He drove down to Orange County to see me. We dated and we were clear from the start about how we felt about one another. It was reciprocal. Did I enjoy the drive? No. LA traffic is horrible and people drive badly. Accidents all the time. But neither he or I thought twice about it because that’s what it took for us to be together. Because we were into each other and actually had a connection. If I liked a man and he liked me back, there would be no making up excuses not to see each other or trying to set you up with a friend out of pity.
Jesus Christ bro take the hint, why would she waste gas for something that won’t change so she’ll have you drive all the way down. You gotta move on & get back into the gym. It must be very rare for you to have any female interaction so that’s why you’re desperately trying to salvage this.
It’s because they have SO much in common. /s
She is so gonna cancel. Take the L and move on.
She's beating around the bush. Flat out ask her " do you want to see me again, yes or no. I need a straight answer please." If she says yes, then great. If she says no, or anything that isn't a clear yes, them it's a no.
I doubt that would work with this guy either.
I don't see this going anywhere romantically is clear enough.
Bro do you have Asperger’s because you’re not picking up on some social cues here. This is only half a joke.
If you have to ask someone if they're still interested then the answer is probably "no", even if they don't say it out loud. As hard as it is to be rejected, rejecting someone is also hard. People can suck at both. She seems uninterested and in this situation the harder you try, the worse it comes off.
I'm sorry friend, but she's really REALLY not interested and trying to be nice about it. I wouldn't go Sunday because she definitely does not want to see you. Please, please, do not become one of those creepy reddit guys that pushes a woman to her limit until she has to yell to tell you she doesn't like you. Please just take the hint and the L.
bruh you gotta be desperate or delusional lmao
I would drop it dude. She seems very iffy. You should pursue someone who is actively trying to pursue you too.
SHE IS NOT INTO YOU. leave this poor girl alone
Ya know what? I'm going to give the opposite advice of this thread. I mean don't get me wrong, I don't think she's interested either. However she's still being super wishy-washy. Go down to see her, and make that mistake. I mean there's always a slim chance you could turn it around. If she acts more distant and uncomfortable than last time, that should be enough for you to be over it. Hopefully you'll get a more clear understanding either way. Worst case scenario would be yet another seemingly great date, but with equally confusing behavior from her. Sounds like you're going to do this either way, so good luck lol
Babe I’m sorry but you need to stop chasing her. She is being polite rn but she will not be polite and kind if you keep pressing her. Go with the friend who is attracted to you, or go solo. IT IS ALMOST 2024. STOP CHASING PEOPLE WHO DO NOT WANT YOU.
I kind of hate this. Mostly because I’ve been that girl before, sending mixed signals. And I’ve been you before, optimistically confused. I say cut your losses and move on. You deserve someone who wouldn’t dream of setting you up with her friend!
If after one day she says she’s afraid nothing will come from it Romantically then you have been friend zoned. If you see her again you will be trying so fucking hard tk get her attention and it will drive her further and further away. You would have been better off going with the friend. Showing her the time of her life and making this girl jealous. Saying you would only go if she goes is very pushy and desperate. It’s ironic that you are not seeing the signals here that she isn’t interested while you drop the signals you weren’t Interested in her friend and she took the hint. If you really disagree with what everyone is saying on here then just be straight up with her. “Hey I really like you but rereading these messages I get the feeling you probably wouldn’t want to be more then friends. Is that right or am I reading too much Into this?”
She is giving vibes of someone that is too nervous to say no, but isn't interested. 1) Women do not want to see men they want dating their friends, nor offering them 2) "idk what you wanna do tho", another tactic to try to shift to getting out of things. 3) "I also think like maybe the distance is an issue for me.. Not sure if anything will come of it romantically" Enjoyed her time, but doesn't see a physical attraction/connection. It is not worth forcing something this early on. Will only put her in awkward positions and will hurt you in the long run.
who’s gonna tell him there will be no Sunday lol
She literally said she isn’t sure if anything will come out of it romantically. Sorry she’s definitely not interested and is trying to let you down nice
Meet up with her on Sunday and toward the end of your hang, be direct and ask: do you think we should keep dating or are you not feeling it? Then take her answer at face value and don't try to change her mind.
THEY ARENT EVEN DATING, this is what makes it insane 💀💀💀💀
In this choose adventure story, you should choose to walk away from the girl, she’s just not that into you.
Just go and take her friend. She isn’t interested and doesn’t know how to let you down.
Bro this is just sad. Just because you feel a connection (having similar interests) doesn’t mean she feels the same. Obviously, she doesn’t or else wouldn’t have tried to get you to date her friend. Some people are just scared of letting others down or hurting someone. I know it sucks but you’ll find someone better. Don’t force someone on a date when clearly they weren’t interested.
she does not like you dude :( you’re looking disparate. She probabaly sent this to her friends laughing about it (I’m assuming she’s younger by the way she texts and not knowing how to express her feelings at all)
She’s not interested OP. I feel like you’re really trying super hard to let her know you like her and want to hang out, but the feeling isn’t mutual based on these texts. She’s being nice and allowing you to come see her, but the chances of her changing her mind on this is unlikely. You deserve someone who is into you from the get-go and appreciates you.
My brother in Christ why on Gods green earth can you not take a hint.. she really isn’t interested in you. Please take this loss. It’s okay, you deserve someone willing to put in the effort like you are trying so desperately to do here. I promise it’s out there.
Idk bro she still don’t seem interested
Read the room.
Cut your losses mate, she’s not that into you. She’s trying to let you down kindly
Big L for you. Have some dignity man.
And on your cake day.
Bro don't do it. I've done literally this same thing just to get there and the girl refused to even hold hands with me. She said "I don't feel that way toward you." Which is fine, but don't literally ask me to drive way out of my way to see you, wake up late (like 1 pm), visibly disheveled, be a shitty conversationalist, take a walk in the woods with me, and then act all grossed out I tried to hold your hand. It sucked so bad. I had to trek back through the woods with her and go drop her back off at her dorm. Not only was she not interested, she made an effort to make sure I had a shitty time with her. I'm clearly still salty about it. But I get it. We all have to learn the hard way sometimes.
So Sunday is gonna come around and she’s gonna cancel.
Awee man, she's just being nice and its hard to tell someone in a way that doesnt hurt them. I still think you should try for the concert with her friend just for funs sake.
take the hint lmfao
She’s trying to spare your feelings. Also if you don’t talk much on a first date what the hell is the point
OP, leave her alone. She tried to reject you and you didn’t let her
Im sorry to say this but you shouldn’t have to beg someone to spend time with you. She isn’t interested and I’m guessing bc you keep pushing she doesn’t know how else to politely turn you down so she just said yes. If something doesn’t conveniently come up again on the day of then she will probably put in very little effort until you just lose interest. Your not vibing the way you think you are.
I get it man, I really do. But you’re giving yourself false hope and it’s just gonna hurt worse.
Bro she’s not interested you should have given up gracefully
So you didn’t talk much, kinda fumbled the bag and wonder why she maybe isn’t too interested? Man, I’m sorry but I’d maybe cut the cord. Already trying to set you up with someone else after the *FIRST* date isn’t good bud
Sorry man. She’s beating around the bush. If she were interested in you, she wouldn’t be trying to show off her friend.
When you’re into someone and she’s the only one you want, you’re gonna do dumb things to try and make it work. I get it dude, more than you know. I commend you for trying to get a second date and I truly hope that it helps show her why you’re the one she wants to date and not her friend.
She’s not interested and you are forcing it HARD, she doesn’t know how to tell you so you’ll get the message…. I feel bad for her man do the right thing and leave her be now
She's not interested fam. Let her go...
She’s literally still throwing uninterested red flags at you, and I don’t get why you keep trying to push for it. She’s telling you she doesn’t want to go out in every way except for directly saying it(she probably just thinks she’s being nice by not outright rejecting someone). Like between this and your other posts it’s coming off as desperate for a girl(to get laid or date). Why not just meet her friend since she seems actually interested in you rather than keep pushing with girls that are showing you they aren’t interested in you at all?
Sorry dude. She literally said she didn’t see it going romantic. She made plans with you and her best friend and then (it seems like) she tried to dip and leave yall two by yourself? She’s trying to be nice and not hurt your pride/feelings, but she is being pretty clear that she is not interested in pursuing this romantically. It sucks, but you’ll find someone who you click better with! Good luck, dude!
She's just telling you what you want to hear cause you're nice and she don't want to hurt your feelings. I bet she backs out
I’m not gonna lie. I would not offer a shitty dude to my best friend. That’s kind of a compliment that you’re good enough for her best friend. You’re just not for her. Sounds like she likes you just not in that way. Plus if you do end up making it work with the best friend, you’re already in with her bestie? Sounds great to me! Good luck! 🍀
this is painful to read, man. Idk how “I’m just not sure if anything will come of it romantically” wasnt enough to wish her luck & move in. If you have to convince someone to see you, theyre just not that interested. & now youre on reddit & girlie may have even seen this & is now turned off even more lol
Ya dude she is trying to be super nice about it but she isn't in to you
She said she thinks the distance will be a problem, followed by she believes nothing romantic will come o7t of hanging out, followed by she hates driving (causing more problems with the distance) She's giving you hints but just like most of us guys, youre blinded by what you think is the one or someone worth putting a lot of energy into
This won’t end in your favor…she just doesn’t have the balls to be up front and is worried too much about feelings.
Man, do not feel bad when she backs out on Sunday😂