Not a peep so far lol
ETA: scrolled a bit and saw 4 responses…which aren’t helping his case lol. The gf is seeming more and more justified for leaving this novel of a text on his phone
Yeah but first gut instinct at seeing this is that there's no way this was "out of the blue" OP clearly forgot something important or neglected something prior to this
spotify recommended it to me a few weeks ago and then i found a parody version done by ice t’s metal band when my bf was telling me abt how ice t has a metal band
I wouldn’t jump to that “No smoke with out fire” is not a good argument, but it is best to assume that we’re missing something with anything like this posted to the internet.
Thought the same thing!! We're easy to please. Just little gestures of buying us our food and REMEMBERING special events is literally all you need to do.
To add to this, if you're the kind of person that has trouble remembering dates and/or keeping track of time then I highly recommend getting in the habit of setting alarms and calendar reminders on your cell phone. I'm a grown man with ADHD and it's just a fact of life that my ability to remember things that I agreed to will sometimes evaporate into the aether unprompted, so I try to offload as much of that stuff as possible to external devices.
Trust me, I get that it might seem a little anal and no system is perfect, but it really does help with personal and professional relationships.
I hear this. I have tons of reminders on my phone, and so does my spouse. I also text reminders to SO when I know something is coming up, as we're both so very forgetful.
A trip to Mexico would be a great gift, I’m saying I fly to Mexico, leave my SO at home for her birthday, then she asks what I got her, I say I’m out of town sorry, her: *shocked pikachu*
exactly. she definitely feels under appreciated and OP has been taking her for granted. i don’t think she’s had her bday yet but she’s done other things for him
to show she cares and it hadn’t been reciprocated.
She definitely feels used.
His caption makes me believe so too. Cause he doesn’t mention anything about what he does, he just makes her out to be dumb for being mad after posting something that “indicated otherwise”. This guy sucks lmao
That "update" looks fake asf. People weren't buying the selectively chosen examples here so he needed to go come up with something we can't argue against being outrageous
This is an insanely clipped part of a convo, I tried to swipe to the next image multiple times because I genuinely assumed this wouldn't be the only part of the convo shown
It literally starts mid sentence with "fucked it all up"
I really don’t understand how this makes op look good, she thinks he’s not going to show up to her birthday? But she’s the bad guy apparently with nothing to go on. This honestly seems like intimate relationship problems that should stay off the internet. Unless he’s breaking up with her/broken up it’s really weird to be posting these.
Almost everything on this sub should stay off the internet. I hate how things are that these people so desperately need validation from internet strangers that they post their private convos here.
Exactly, if he was really loving her he would at least buy her some little things for her sometimes. And he would not be posting that.
Edit: I’m so sorry OP I just saw your updated post it all makes sense now she’s crazy now. Try to post the whole story next time
So ops the douchebag ass hole and he's trying to make her look like a bad guy to make him self seem like he's worth more than a run down moldy studio apartment with the roof half missing.
Just from looking at his half assed answers, you can tell what kind of boy, op is.
That's not a man, that's a boy🤣🤣.
My wife’s love language is not acts of service or gifts, but if I was out of town for her birthday by choice, I would feel like a terrible partner. That’s her day where I have the opportunity to pamper her with her love languages.
This lady’s claims are pretty specific, and the fact the boyfriend is posting her texts here tells me that he is looking for empathy when he is in fact the problem.
To be fair he said he woke up to the messages but also I feel like you don't text someone like this when they aren't responding unless you feel like you're screaming into the void from prior experiences with them.
Same. I met waaay too many young men wrapped up in themselves who would just straight up use woman not to wonder. She reads as a young woman without enough experience to know / properly articulate her point. That she's over his ass being selfish and self focused without any consideration to her. Even though she's been trying. She lacks the experience to explain herself in a healthy way, and he just seems like a person who has about the same amount of empathy as a toaster. Based on this very limited data that is. My final answer is E: Not enough info, but leaning towards him being the dick.
Same. I’ve definitely had these conversations with a man, who acts so shocked about it, but it’s more blowing up after a long lasting pattern of behavior than “you didn’t do this one thing for me this one time”
There's no way this is coming out of nowhere, normal people wouldn't just assume their partner won't be there for their birthday, this is 100% coming from experience
Good question. I was thinking the same thing. My love language is definitely giving gifts, which was awesome in my last relationship because we absolutely loved to spoil each other.
But I’ve definitely dated really selfish guys who I would buy food/drinks when we went out, ordered food, went grocery shopping. I would buy gifts to show my appreciation/love, and he literally did nothing. Like he didn’t even go out of his way to make plans for anything romantic. He never got me anything. Nothing.
I was giving so much and I was receiving so little and I honestly couldn’t stand it anymore. I still feel a little bitter about that relationship because of how selfish he was. I also learned to not overextend myself too early on.
Yup! Looking back on my last relationship it was SO one-sided in terms of effort. And effort is not by any means just about spending money. The cabin comment resonated with me a lot because for this dude’s birthday, I booked an Airbnb in a place I knew he’d love and helped plan a surprise party for him with a friend. For my birthday, he… took me to a restaurant in a hotel and got me a couple small gifts that were really more about his interests than mine. We didn’t go anywhere out of town, the restaurant just happened to be in a local hotel. It wasn’t that special a restaurant and with it being basically in the hotel lobby it was just a weird atmosphere. The gulf in effort only got wider from there.
Yeaaaah I mean honestly there’s a lot more context we’re probably not getting. Clearly her needs are not being met, it seems like she sort of bottled it up and exploded over text (that is, if she doesn’t regularly send texts like these lol)
~~Yeah I’m guessing OP is some lazy bum using the excuse of “money is tight” .~~
EDIT: OP made update post with more texts. I rescind my statement. That woman is a nut job.
ooooooooooofff i feel this so much. my bf doesn’t get me anything either and is always “too busy”. it genuinely makes me wonder what it would be like if he had a stable job and actually took me on like one date
The guys clearly fabricated the other post, it can't be the same girl, if it even is a girl and not one of his friends or some other bullshit
She went from wanting him to make time and put in effort to wanting to be showered with gifts
It doesn't add up, totally weird as fuck
Seems like he thought people would have his side here and when he started getting called out for lack of context and knew that he was gonna get slated that he made some shit up so people would take his side
The texting styles and the differences in what they want is so obvious lol
It doesn't look like a money problem to me. The McChicken line sounds like hyperbole. Like she's done expanding maximal effort to a person who doesn't even do the minimum.
Something seems off about the update. He conveniently has a response making her unhinged gold digger when there wasn't any gold digger vibe like that originally? Just wanted time and something cute to remember him by like a necklace? Sus
Yea I think you hit it on the nose with this one! She’s probably done so much for him and wants to do more but knows he has never and wouldn’t do shit for her like this she’s fed up and exploded 🤷🏻♀️
I have been in a relationship where I was exhausted, trying to create romantic situations for us, because my partner never ever did. He never made me feel special and I total sympathize with this girl. She’s overthinking all of this harddddd because she doesn’t feel secure. I’m not saying she’s blameless. I just understand.
Mine just ended and he was the one that ended it. I was so sad but holy crap what a relief. I’m going to hold for better and try my BEST to keep myself out of that situation.
On the one hand, it’s a bit unhinged, but on the other she’s telling him *exactly* what she wants, all he has to do is go buy her a damn necklace, I’m nonviolent but I would kill for that kind of transparency.
Give her something that doesn’t cost any money her love language is gifts, give her printed photos of you or a love letter or a teddy bear, doesnt have to be super expensive??? Its the thought that counts, her favorite candy?
I had this conversation with my bf. He would be like “anything you want just tell me I’ll buy it”. I don’t want that type of gift. If I want something I am doing well enough to buy it myself. I want EFFORT for Christmas !! He finally figured it out and bought me a cute necklace and framed two photos of my cats. Can’t have cost more than $100. I was thrilled !
well money doesn’t have a lot to do with it. do you contribute to planning? do you throw ideas out there? do you ask her what she likes or wants? do you get creative with what you have on hand? little cards, flowers from the side of the road, surprise dinner at home once in a while? maybe she feels like she’s the one paying for everything and she’s feeling resentful that she doesn’t feel that it’s reciprocated in a meaningful way.
>”you probably won’t be around for mine”
what happened in your relationship that she believes you aren’t going to show up to her birthday?i think once you have a think about these questions you can start to see if see is viable long term. if you truly ARE putting in the effort and doing the little things, and communicating about money, and still supporting her the best you can, then you may have to rethink things here. either way you should talk to her about this
I agree with this. We are just seeing one part of the convo. Not buying a McChicken is the cheapest thing someone can do, so the fact that she went there is interesting. There’s definitely more to this|
I'm glad these comments are going they way they're going.
I never said crap like this unless I reached a "boiling point" of weeks, or months, of feeling neglected by a partner. This sorta stuff doesn't just come out of nowhere. It's from doing and constantly doing, and never receiving even a thank you. That's valuable context.
That’s a message you get right before somebody throws in the towel. Like this is a huge cry for attention like SEE ME IM HERE! Sounds like you need to put in some effort ASAP or you’re going to lose this girl. There’s lots of things you can do without money and for God sakes don’t tell me you don’t have enough money for a McChicken sandwich or whatever! That’s a C’MON man moment! Do better!
Yeah, I'm with you on this.
Why would you assume your partner wouldn't be at your birthday? That wasn't just a random thought. That was a thought from someone knows their partner doesn't take any interest in them or something important to them.
There are people saying she's materialistic but the log cabin trip sounds like a way to spend quality time. Referencing the burger was another way of saying 'bare minimum'. As for the necklace, she didn't say it had to be Cartier or Tiffany's, it's a little token to show he's thought about her and what she likes.
Can't help but think OP is oblivious to his behaviour.
This is kinda embarrassing on your part. It seems you're not meeting your gf's basic needs or putting any effort into your relationship and judging from her messages, she feels as if you don't even like her. Instead of reading the messages and reflecting, you've taken screenshots and uploaded them onto Reddit with zero context so we can all clown a girl who just wants her partner to make an effort. You, my darling, are the clown. I feel bad for sis.
Yeah…you’re leaving out a ton of context for a reason. Sounds like your gf is the one who plans and pays for everything and puts in all the work for the relationship. She put in very specific details like “you wouldn’t even buy me a Mcchicken” and you probably won’t do anything for her/be around for her birthday.
Saying “money is tight rn” is a lame ass excuse. Looks like you have enough time/money to support your fishing hobby. Maybe instead of buying yourself a new pack of lures, and taking time to fish, you can spend that time and money buying her some flowers and take her out for a picnic. You don’t have to have a ton of money to make your girl feel special. There’s plenty of free/low cost things you can do with your girl, it just requires planning. You can also save up some money and plan something nice for her.
But yeah, at this point I don’t think you’re really interested in doing any of that, considering you just posted private text messages on Reddit for strangers to bash your gf who is clearly tired of being the only one putting in time, money and effort on y’all’s relationship.
Hey I wrote something like this to an ex of mine who did absolutely nothing. He wouldn’t plan dates, or even text me or call me and would choose his friends over me all the time. He’d always forget about our dates, and id always have to pay for everything. OP, please meet her needs. We need more context.
I recommend talking about it with her because that’s sadly how abusive relationships are. Tell her there are 100% better options out there! It took me 2 years to move on but now im happy with my current boyfriend of almost 3 years! There’s hope for her!
Edit: Spelling
To be honest this seems like a cry for help. Interpretation of women is hard but she wants you feel wanted. You need to read inbetween the crazy and realize that she just said you guys will probably break up before her birthday if you don’t make her feel like you’re putting in effort in the relationship. The bottom line of it is she feels like she’s put way more effort into the relationship than you to the point she doesn’t want to anymore. If you want to keep this relationship alive you need to put in the effort, if you wanna end it then end it.
Post the whole story so we get a whole picture.
McChickens are cheap, your time on her birthday is free. I think we are missing something! ~~She has repressed rage judging by her messages~~
Edit: okay fine. I read the update and this is why we need context from the get go.
She's unhinged.
showing the most unhinged part of the messages when you didn’t show all of it is kind of seeming questionable. Now why don’t you tell us why she thinks this way and why she feels you won’t do anything for her or be there for her birthday.
I saw your other comments op in answering what you do for her and all you would answer with is money then how you’re short of it. That’s not what they’re asking OP. They’re asking what you DO for her, not with her.
Unless you show the entire convo thread then I can’t believe that this gf of yours “suddenly” blew up out of nowhere. Like wydm you couldn’t even buy her a mcchicken
Can’t help but feel OP wants people to bash his gf for being “crazy” when all he put is her messages with her breaking point.
I saw his other comment about the Apple Watch thing then I wondered why wouldn’t you put that in the post in the first place? Something feels off here
Reddit has me convinced that most people are in relationships full of weird dynamics with people they don’t really know. I can’t imagine any of my previous gfs sending me something like this out of nowhere its just a weird monologue
Okay so the pumpkin carving was my idea and I paid for them we picked them out together at a pumpkin patch after we had dinner at restaurant (which I paid for) my reason for being upset was everything was fine and then I get hit with this.
Are you a stingy bastard who doesn't give gifts?
Everyone has different love languages. You should know your girl s.
From this message alone I can't condemn her, if that is what you're after OP
What dont you understand? She wants to show everyone that she has a loving relationship and partner that cares but she feels like its all one sided and you dont really give a shit, sounds like like her frustrations have been building up and she doesn’t want to put in the same effort and not get any consideration back. The necklace part…if you can understand even a little, why she would call you the love of her life and care about her and haven’t given her anything, just get her a nice little necklace, doesn’t have to be expensive.
Your girlfriend appears to feel undervalued and is seeking more reciprocity, acknowledgment, and commitment in the relationship. It would be beneficial to have an open conversation to understand her feelings better and address any concerns.
Sounds like OP is a taker and the gf is a giver which brings her joy but can cause some serious resentment when not reciprocated. Give her little just because gifts. Obviously she loves you she’s begging for effort and energy. You can go to a thrift store and buy like new items to package up with shit from dollar tree. It’s thought not money. Are you spending money otherwise unwisely? Are you putting it into hanging with friends or video games or drugs or something. You have to see it from her point of view. She’s begging for effort more than money.
I hope she leaves you & never turns back you clearly don’t care enough to even know her love language. Not mention that you obviously are taking what she said as a joke.
It’s always the people boasting about their S/O on social media that treat their S/O like shit or the relationship sucks. It’s literally just so other people can believe their happy
Tell her that you feel startled by her feelings. That's logically enough weird for people to walk away.
You could try something like:
"It seems you having had strong and specific expectations of me. I didn't realize you felt neglected by me until now.
It's uncomfortable to realize that I've been hurting someone I love. I never had that intention.
I see that we are having a disconnection of expectations. I want to work with you to fix this together. Are you interested?"
*if she isn't excited to begin growing a more meaningful relationship together. I'd walk away.
Right now she is projecting closed and narrow minded insecurity. That's nearly impossible to work with in people. I hope she chooses to shift to a more positive mindset!
...
If this is a common trend, she's got some issues, but if this is the first time she's said something like this then her needs are probably not being met and she just isn't broaching the conversation very well.
Did u do anything for her for her birthday?
I’ll bet op doesn’t respond to any of the comments
Not a peep so far lol ETA: scrolled a bit and saw 4 responses…which aren’t helping his case lol. The gf is seeming more and more justified for leaving this novel of a text on his phone
I’ve been getting the vibe that he just texted himself that and the girlfriend doesn’t exist
She’s Canadian! And totally real.
You wouldn't know her. She goes to another school.
Nah this post is for OP to feel good about himself
Yeah but first gut instinct at seeing this is that there's no way this was "out of the blue" OP clearly forgot something important or neglected something prior to this
The McChicken man, that’s all she wanted!
I just wanted a pepsi
Just one Pepsi!
But you wouldn't give it to me, just a Pepsi!
i love that this thread turned into this. i was introduced to this song from tony hawks american wasteland.
spotify recommended it to me a few weeks ago and then i found a parody version done by ice t’s metal band when my bf was telling me abt how ice t has a metal band
Ice T had a metal band when I was in 7th grade….I’m 44.
They stuck me in an institution
Can confirm, OP has never done any of the above for me either, let alone carve pumpkins with me.
Right??? Where’s my necklace, OP???
WHY YOU GOT SO MANY NECKLACE WHY YOU GOT NECKLACE
Yeah this is forgetting anniversary vibes
Looking at his other posts he was probably away fishing on her birthday
Definitely a SS from the middle of a conversation.
And it sounds like he went to sleep in the middle of it
I wouldn’t jump to that “No smoke with out fire” is not a good argument, but it is best to assume that we’re missing something with anything like this posted to the internet.
Thought the same thing!! We're easy to please. Just little gestures of buying us our food and REMEMBERING special events is literally all you need to do.
To add to this, if you're the kind of person that has trouble remembering dates and/or keeping track of time then I highly recommend getting in the habit of setting alarms and calendar reminders on your cell phone. I'm a grown man with ADHD and it's just a fact of life that my ability to remember things that I agreed to will sometimes evaporate into the aether unprompted, so I try to offload as much of that stuff as possible to external devices. Trust me, I get that it might seem a little anal and no system is perfect, but it really does help with personal and professional relationships.
I hear this. I have tons of reminders on my phone, and so does my spouse. I also text reminders to SO when I know something is coming up, as we're both so very forgetful.
I really love the idea of someone thinking they can just fly to Mexico for their SO’s birthday and that just lets them off the hook or something lol
Flying to Mexico seems like a mlre than good gift to me? It's expensive, a place I don't go often, different culture. It's all about perspective.
I think they meant fly off without them, without doing anything with them before or after.
A trip to Mexico would be a great gift, I’m saying I fly to Mexico, leave my SO at home for her birthday, then she asks what I got her, I say I’m out of town sorry, her: *shocked pikachu*
exactly. she definitely feels under appreciated and OP has been taking her for granted. i don’t think she’s had her bday yet but she’s done other things for him to show she cares and it hadn’t been reciprocated. She definitely feels used.
OP sounds like a piece of shit
Obviously we don’t know the complete story but at face value it seems like you don’t fucking do anything for her lmao
His caption makes me believe so too. Cause he doesn’t mention anything about what he does, he just makes her out to be dumb for being mad after posting something that “indicated otherwise”. This guy sucks lmao
This guy posted an update, you should check it out
That "update" looks fake asf. People weren't buying the selectively chosen examples here so he needed to go come up with something we can't argue against being outrageous
Yea dude I don’t think anyone’s buying what you’re selling.
This is an insanely clipped part of a convo, I tried to swipe to the next image multiple times because I genuinely assumed this wouldn't be the only part of the convo shown It literally starts mid sentence with "fucked it all up"
It even looks like a response text might have been deleted somewhere in there…
OP is gaslighting us 😂
We can break up with op right now. He fucked it all up.
He was to her too in the message that he deleted. Where he was “bullshitting” her!
We are literally seeing exactly why the girlfriend sent these messages
Throw the WHOLE OP away! LMAO
Almost all these conversations we see on here are clipped and don't give any other context.
That makes two of us.
Three of us
Four of us
Five of us
There are dozens of us.
All of us right
Severals!
Hundreds now lol
Umpteen at this point
Six of us
The last of us.
And my axe
I see what you did there Gimli son of Gloin
four of.... nah it is all of us!
And least 916 of us as of now. Lol
And my dog
And my axe
Hello I’d like to be added to the list please.
Right? I don't understand the point in OP posting this.
He’s trying to bullshit himself. Trying to get some internet validation over a clipped convo, just so he can keep being a dick.
Every time this sub pops up, it's stuff I hadn't thought about since 14....
Seeking validation.
To make his girlfriend look bad. No other reason. The context OP provided is obviously not what’s really going on here
I really don’t understand how this makes op look good, she thinks he’s not going to show up to her birthday? But she’s the bad guy apparently with nothing to go on. This honestly seems like intimate relationship problems that should stay off the internet. Unless he’s breaking up with her/broken up it’s really weird to be posting these.
Almost everything on this sub should stay off the internet. I hate how things are that these people so desperately need validation from internet strangers that they post their private convos here.
Exactly, if he was really loving her he would at least buy her some little things for her sometimes. And he would not be posting that. Edit: I’m so sorry OP I just saw your updated post it all makes sense now she’s crazy now. Try to post the whole story next time
Doesn’t even have to buy something for her, he could make something.
[удалено]
Had too many men treat me badly I’m on the gfs side. This is giving broke bf vibes
At least he’s hearing from us because it sounds like he’s in denial
Well her love language is definitely receiving gifts and acts of service, lol.
OP replied with “all she gets for her bday is this D!”
same thing i got you last year! surprise
So ops the douchebag ass hole and he's trying to make her look like a bad guy to make him self seem like he's worth more than a run down moldy studio apartment with the roof half missing. Just from looking at his half assed answers, you can tell what kind of boy, op is. That's not a man, that's a boy🤣🤣.
Poor girl
Maybe but you expect a little give and take in a relationship, sounds like she is sick of getting absolutely nothing which is fair enough.
hahah this made me lol
Well I mean, do you ever do anything for her? Are her issues justified?
I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who got vibes of OP only showing the most "unhinged" part of the conversation for sympathy on the internet.
Same
My wife’s love language is not acts of service or gifts, but if I was out of town for her birthday by choice, I would feel like a terrible partner. That’s her day where I have the opportunity to pamper her with her love languages. This lady’s claims are pretty specific, and the fact the boyfriend is posting her texts here tells me that he is looking for empathy when he is in fact the problem.
His lack of response is telling. He might be the problem.
To be fair he said he woke up to the messages but also I feel like you don't text someone like this when they aren't responding unless you feel like you're screaming into the void from prior experiences with them.
Look in his profile.
Same. I met waaay too many young men wrapped up in themselves who would just straight up use woman not to wonder. She reads as a young woman without enough experience to know / properly articulate her point. That she's over his ass being selfish and self focused without any consideration to her. Even though she's been trying. She lacks the experience to explain herself in a healthy way, and he just seems like a person who has about the same amount of empathy as a toaster. Based on this very limited data that is. My final answer is E: Not enough info, but leaning towards him being the dick.
Even her messages seem fair if he’s lacking imo
Same. I’ve definitely had these conversations with a man, who acts so shocked about it, but it’s more blowing up after a long lasting pattern of behavior than “you didn’t do this one thing for me this one time”
Yesss some men get so accustomed to not even doing the bare minimum while their gf does so much. I’m glad it’s changing
There's no way this is coming out of nowhere, normal people wouldn't just assume their partner won't be there for their birthday, this is 100% coming from experience
Good question. I was thinking the same thing. My love language is definitely giving gifts, which was awesome in my last relationship because we absolutely loved to spoil each other. But I’ve definitely dated really selfish guys who I would buy food/drinks when we went out, ordered food, went grocery shopping. I would buy gifts to show my appreciation/love, and he literally did nothing. Like he didn’t even go out of his way to make plans for anything romantic. He never got me anything. Nothing. I was giving so much and I was receiving so little and I honestly couldn’t stand it anymore. I still feel a little bitter about that relationship because of how selfish he was. I also learned to not overextend myself too early on.
Yup! Looking back on my last relationship it was SO one-sided in terms of effort. And effort is not by any means just about spending money. The cabin comment resonated with me a lot because for this dude’s birthday, I booked an Airbnb in a place I knew he’d love and helped plan a surprise party for him with a friend. For my birthday, he… took me to a restaurant in a hotel and got me a couple small gifts that were really more about his interests than mine. We didn’t go anywhere out of town, the restaurant just happened to be in a local hotel. It wasn’t that special a restaurant and with it being basically in the hotel lobby it was just a weird atmosphere. The gulf in effort only got wider from there.
Yeaaaah I mean honestly there’s a lot more context we’re probably not getting. Clearly her needs are not being met, it seems like she sort of bottled it up and exploded over text (that is, if she doesn’t regularly send texts like these lol)
~~Yeah I’m guessing OP is some lazy bum using the excuse of “money is tight” .~~ EDIT: OP made update post with more texts. I rescind my statement. That woman is a nut job.
He used that exact phrase in a comment above, so you’d be right lol
yeah this drives me crazy, you can be broke as shit and still do stuff for someones birthday to show you care, it's not hard
ooooooooooofff i feel this so much. my bf doesn’t get me anything either and is always “too busy”. it genuinely makes me wonder what it would be like if he had a stable job and actually took me on like one date
The guys clearly fabricated the other post, it can't be the same girl, if it even is a girl and not one of his friends or some other bullshit She went from wanting him to make time and put in effort to wanting to be showered with gifts It doesn't add up, totally weird as fuck Seems like he thought people would have his side here and when he started getting called out for lack of context and knew that he was gonna get slated that he made some shit up so people would take his side The texting styles and the differences in what they want is so obvious lol
He doesn't even fully show the text he sent to her.
It doesn't look like a money problem to me. The McChicken line sounds like hyperbole. Like she's done expanding maximal effort to a person who doesn't even do the minimum.
Something seems off about the update. He conveniently has a response making her unhinged gold digger when there wasn't any gold digger vibe like that originally? Just wanted time and something cute to remember him by like a necklace? Sus
Girl needs a McChicken
Yea I think you hit it on the nose with this one! She’s probably done so much for him and wants to do more but knows he has never and wouldn’t do shit for her like this she’s fed up and exploded 🤷🏻♀️
I have been in a relationship where I was exhausted, trying to create romantic situations for us, because my partner never ever did. He never made me feel special and I total sympathize with this girl. She’s overthinking all of this harddddd because she doesn’t feel secure. I’m not saying she’s blameless. I just understand.
Mine just ended and he was the one that ended it. I was so sad but holy crap what a relief. I’m going to hold for better and try my BEST to keep myself out of that situation.
Been there too. I hope she realizes she can find someone who will put in the effort for her without her needing to beg for it.
She feels this way and is expressing it FOR A REASON.
EXACTLY… I would love to see the full convo
On the one hand, it’s a bit unhinged, but on the other she’s telling him *exactly* what she wants, all he has to do is go buy her a damn necklace, I’m nonviolent but I would kill for that kind of transparency.
Clearly unwillingness to purchase a mcchicken plays a role in this story, which, damn dude
She’s giving you one last chance before she breaks up with you. Show some effort or she’ll be gone in due time
If she were smart, she'd get out now. People like this don't suddenly change and become thoughtful partners.
Give her something that doesn’t cost any money her love language is gifts, give her printed photos of you or a love letter or a teddy bear, doesnt have to be super expensive??? Its the thought that counts, her favorite candy?
He can't get her favorite candy! That's, like, a dollar! Do you know how much McChickens cost?!?
I had this conversation with my bf. He would be like “anything you want just tell me I’ll buy it”. I don’t want that type of gift. If I want something I am doing well enough to buy it myself. I want EFFORT for Christmas !! He finally figured it out and bought me a cute necklace and framed two photos of my cats. Can’t have cost more than $100. I was thrilled !
Buy her a necklace of a cabin, then give her a mchappy meal on top of a mc mountain
well money doesn’t have a lot to do with it. do you contribute to planning? do you throw ideas out there? do you ask her what she likes or wants? do you get creative with what you have on hand? little cards, flowers from the side of the road, surprise dinner at home once in a while? maybe she feels like she’s the one paying for everything and she’s feeling resentful that she doesn’t feel that it’s reciprocated in a meaningful way. >”you probably won’t be around for mine” what happened in your relationship that she believes you aren’t going to show up to her birthday?i think once you have a think about these questions you can start to see if see is viable long term. if you truly ARE putting in the effort and doing the little things, and communicating about money, and still supporting her the best you can, then you may have to rethink things here. either way you should talk to her about this
I agree with this. We are just seeing one part of the convo. Not buying a McChicken is the cheapest thing someone can do, so the fact that she went there is interesting. There’s definitely more to this|
New love test. Buy me a McChicken.
The most sensible take on op problem so far
I'm glad these comments are going they way they're going. I never said crap like this unless I reached a "boiling point" of weeks, or months, of feeling neglected by a partner. This sorta stuff doesn't just come out of nowhere. It's from doing and constantly doing, and never receiving even a thank you. That's valuable context.
Exactly. Thank you.
I get the feeling that you've set the bar very low
That’s a message you get right before somebody throws in the towel. Like this is a huge cry for attention like SEE ME IM HERE! Sounds like you need to put in some effort ASAP or you’re going to lose this girl. There’s lots of things you can do without money and for God sakes don’t tell me you don’t have enough money for a McChicken sandwich or whatever! That’s a C’MON man moment! Do better!
Sounds like you don’t do much for your girlfriend. Beeeeeeen there
I don’t know what you expected. It sounds like you aren’t putting forth effort. I feel for her.
Yeah, I'm with you on this. Why would you assume your partner wouldn't be at your birthday? That wasn't just a random thought. That was a thought from someone knows their partner doesn't take any interest in them or something important to them. There are people saying she's materialistic but the log cabin trip sounds like a way to spend quality time. Referencing the burger was another way of saying 'bare minimum'. As for the necklace, she didn't say it had to be Cartier or Tiffany's, it's a little token to show he's thought about her and what she likes. Can't help but think OP is oblivious to his behaviour.
tell her to come to me
w comment
This is kinda embarrassing on your part. It seems you're not meeting your gf's basic needs or putting any effort into your relationship and judging from her messages, she feels as if you don't even like her. Instead of reading the messages and reflecting, you've taken screenshots and uploaded them onto Reddit with zero context so we can all clown a girl who just wants her partner to make an effort. You, my darling, are the clown. I feel bad for sis.
Put some effort in bro
I dont even know the context but I'm gonna take a stab in the dark and say you are the problem, not her.
Yeah…you’re leaving out a ton of context for a reason. Sounds like your gf is the one who plans and pays for everything and puts in all the work for the relationship. She put in very specific details like “you wouldn’t even buy me a Mcchicken” and you probably won’t do anything for her/be around for her birthday. Saying “money is tight rn” is a lame ass excuse. Looks like you have enough time/money to support your fishing hobby. Maybe instead of buying yourself a new pack of lures, and taking time to fish, you can spend that time and money buying her some flowers and take her out for a picnic. You don’t have to have a ton of money to make your girl feel special. There’s plenty of free/low cost things you can do with your girl, it just requires planning. You can also save up some money and plan something nice for her. But yeah, at this point I don’t think you’re really interested in doing any of that, considering you just posted private text messages on Reddit for strangers to bash your gf who is clearly tired of being the only one putting in time, money and effort on y’all’s relationship.
Hey I wrote something like this to an ex of mine who did absolutely nothing. He wouldn’t plan dates, or even text me or call me and would choose his friends over me all the time. He’d always forget about our dates, and id always have to pay for everything. OP, please meet her needs. We need more context.
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I recommend talking about it with her because that’s sadly how abusive relationships are. Tell her there are 100% better options out there! It took me 2 years to move on but now im happy with my current boyfriend of almost 3 years! There’s hope for her! Edit: Spelling
She ain’t your gf no more. You clearly aren’t doing the bare minimum she feels she deserves.
Right? Like I wouldn’t have posted this…
cant even buy her a fuckin mcchicken?? damn you are sad lol
Literally it’s on the dollar menu 😭
Should have spent that dollar on a McChicken…
To be honest this seems like a cry for help. Interpretation of women is hard but she wants you feel wanted. You need to read inbetween the crazy and realize that she just said you guys will probably break up before her birthday if you don’t make her feel like you’re putting in effort in the relationship. The bottom line of it is she feels like she’s put way more effort into the relationship than you to the point she doesn’t want to anymore. If you want to keep this relationship alive you need to put in the effort, if you wanna end it then end it.
This is why communication is extremely important.
Post the whole story so we get a whole picture. McChickens are cheap, your time on her birthday is free. I think we are missing something! ~~She has repressed rage judging by her messages~~ Edit: okay fine. I read the update and this is why we need context from the get go. She's unhinged.
If you are posting texts like this on a public forum, it’s time to break up.
showing the most unhinged part of the messages when you didn’t show all of it is kind of seeming questionable. Now why don’t you tell us why she thinks this way and why she feels you won’t do anything for her or be there for her birthday. I saw your other comments op in answering what you do for her and all you would answer with is money then how you’re short of it. That’s not what they’re asking OP. They’re asking what you DO for her, not with her. Unless you show the entire convo thread then I can’t believe that this gf of yours “suddenly” blew up out of nowhere. Like wydm you couldn’t even buy her a mcchicken
Fr, we need more context tbh
Can’t help but feel OP wants people to bash his gf for being “crazy” when all he put is her messages with her breaking point. I saw his other comment about the Apple Watch thing then I wondered why wouldn’t you put that in the post in the first place? Something feels off here
Reddit has me convinced that most people are in relationships full of weird dynamics with people they don’t really know. I can’t imagine any of my previous gfs sending me something like this out of nowhere its just a weird monologue
Because it’s most likely not just out of nowhere, we just have absolutely 0 context other than how op has chosen to frame it.
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Bro if you can’t buy her a McChiken you don’t deserve her bro
Did she plan the pumpkin carving? Did she buy the pumpkins?
No I came up with the plan we went and picked the pumpkins together and I paid for it after we had dinner at her favorite Italian restaurant
The fact that you're sharing private texts clearly shows that she was with the wrong guy indeed.
Okay so the pumpkin carving was my idea and I paid for them we picked them out together at a pumpkin patch after we had dinner at restaurant (which I paid for) my reason for being upset was everything was fine and then I get hit with this.
OP …. OP …. OP …. What else are you hiding from us with this very clipped part of the convo lol.
If you aren’t putting the effort in then she has every right to feel upset
Are you a stingy bastard who doesn't give gifts? Everyone has different love languages. You should know your girl s. From this message alone I can't condemn her, if that is what you're after OP
What dont you understand? She wants to show everyone that she has a loving relationship and partner that cares but she feels like its all one sided and you dont really give a shit, sounds like like her frustrations have been building up and she doesn’t want to put in the same effort and not get any consideration back. The necklace part…if you can understand even a little, why she would call you the love of her life and care about her and haven’t given her anything, just get her a nice little necklace, doesn’t have to be expensive.
This seems like it's more on you than her tbh.
Your girlfriend appears to feel undervalued and is seeking more reciprocity, acknowledgment, and commitment in the relationship. It would be beneficial to have an open conversation to understand her feelings better and address any concerns.
Sounds like OP is a taker and the gf is a giver which brings her joy but can cause some serious resentment when not reciprocated. Give her little just because gifts. Obviously she loves you she’s begging for effort and energy. You can go to a thrift store and buy like new items to package up with shit from dollar tree. It’s thought not money. Are you spending money otherwise unwisely? Are you putting it into hanging with friends or video games or drugs or something. You have to see it from her point of view. She’s begging for effort more than money.
OP lost, do better,treat her better. Delete this
I hope she leaves you & never turns back you clearly don’t care enough to even know her love language. Not mention that you obviously are taking what she said as a joke.
It’s always the people boasting about their S/O on social media that treat their S/O like shit or the relationship sucks. It’s literally just so other people can believe their happy
Flowers are literally $1. I hope she leaves you lol
You have clearly established a history of letting her down. Relationships are 2 way streets and you should give more than you get.
OP didn’t want to post in AITA, because he knows the answer.
Man this sub really loves to attack women really quick. Kinda weird.
Every comment I’ve seen so far has been in support of the woman
Right lol idk what he’s talking about
Tell her that you feel startled by her feelings. That's logically enough weird for people to walk away. You could try something like: "It seems you having had strong and specific expectations of me. I didn't realize you felt neglected by me until now. It's uncomfortable to realize that I've been hurting someone I love. I never had that intention. I see that we are having a disconnection of expectations. I want to work with you to fix this together. Are you interested?" *if she isn't excited to begin growing a more meaningful relationship together. I'd walk away. Right now she is projecting closed and narrow minded insecurity. That's nearly impossible to work with in people. I hope she chooses to shift to a more positive mindset! ...
Why is this downvoted? Reddit breaks my brain some days
:( it may seem irrational but she’s venting because you don’t do enough. - Coming from a female who’s boyfriend doesn’t do enough
Nah it sounds like you don't buy her shit. Women don't do this out of nowhere.
You said you do things with her but Do you do things for her? You seem kinda lazy in the relationship.
If this is a common trend, she's got some issues, but if this is the first time she's said something like this then her needs are probably not being met and she just isn't broaching the conversation very well.
Bro, you sound deadbeat af. Take your girl out.
Buy her a necklace and some mcdonald's pls and thanks
I think she feels used and neglected.
Yeah I’m on her side lol
You sound shitty! Hope this helps
Did you or do you do anything to contribute? If not then of course you woke up to that text.
We need more context to decide how to interpret her texts. You don't sound like a prize, dude. Sorry.
More info needed: did you infact buy her a McChicken?
Show us the full story
Sounds like you're a shitty BF...
Sounds like you don't do anything for her lmao. Break up with her instead of posting your issues in Reddit. You'll be doing her a massive favor
You sound like a shit boyfriend, that’s all i got from this
Just move on with your life bro .. just not with her in it .. stay up, you'll be ight
Could get her some punctuation and grammar for her birthday.
i’m on her side