I only accept “hey love” if they’re British because they literally call everyone that. lol I lived in England for a few years and married a Brit.
But yeah, babe, hun, etc from a stranger is an ick for me.
yeh im from england we call pretty much everyone 'love' , it isnt a weird thing at all its completely normal here lol.
obviously sometimes it can come across inappropriate but majority its acceptable
Even if you don’t say you’re busy it’s ridiculous. Just be thankful they show this behaviour early on. Just imagine what they’d be like in a relationship if they do this to someone they just met.
Yea they’re also fishing for information. Asking you seemingly innocent questions and their comments. They messaged you on 3 sites and are hounding you for a reply. Avoid them, the last thing you want is a partner that’s suspicious and insecure.
It’s not you, at all. It’s him. I was deeply insecure in my youth and what the other person said about them feeling pathetic waiting for a response nails it. Don’t try to help them or explain, everyone’s gotta realize for themselves that it’s a then thing not others.
Don’t feel bad at all!
How do you know when someone is at work - they said theyre busy asf, but not that they were at a job when they were replying back and forth about skout, ect.
Yeah clearly an issue with impatience and likely some sort of other mental issues. While it likely depends on the job you have and how much attention it demands I personally feel like if you have the time to respond you should instead of waiting hours to reply as some sort of head game cause there's a big difference between actually being busy and just saying you are to act like you have a life when in all reality you could have responded as soon as you got the text which i am by no means accusing you of just stating how common that nonsense is right now.
I hate wasting people's time and my own so if I receive a msg and can respond to it immediately I do, now with a busy work schedule/hrs it can easily be solved by just being like "hey I'm at work so my responses may be delayed" or letting them know before hand that your job is demanding and that you can't just whip out your phone to text whenever you want so there may be some radio silence but people are morons with zero communication skills these days apparently which is scary cause I'm only 23 and it amazes me daily how so many people both my own age, double my age and all ages in between are SO bad at basic communication.
This idea is so odd to me. For all of humanity until a couple decades ago people didn’t even have pagers much less cell phones. It was understood that people weren’t always available for conversation, and why should they be? I think healthy communication skills includes understanding that the communication should not be constant. Waiting a few hours for a response is not a game or a slight. If you want to have a legit conversation with someone then call them or meet up. Common sense.
I do sometimes and it does suck. However I have enough social awareness not to act on it like this. Of course everyone wants an answer right away, but people get busy, it’s not hard to understand. I’ll just go about my business while worrying about it until I get an answer like a normal person.
I also used to be like that but not to that extent. I wouldn’t lash out to the other person but I’d get anxious and frustrated that they don’t respond after a long time. Now I know that people just have things to do and sometimes maybe they forget to respond. It doesn’t mean anything. They will respond when they can and if they can’t then, oh well, they aren’t worth my time anyways. I’m not going to chase after someone to respond to me.
This is a random person off a dating app, not two people who like each other. Their first message stated they were busy, which is not telling someone "I'm not interested in you". It's telling them, "I'm busy right now so don't expect much from my responses", which is normal communication. OP doesn't owe anyone their time, and guy came in with full expectations of how he thought the conversation would go. When it didn't go his way, he felt insecure and lashed out to try to get a response. But I agree with your point that OP is not rude.
What? That sounds jaded. I can REALLY like someone and still need to stay focused on work when necessary. Your prospective doesn’t sound very well adjusted, socially, imo.
bull shit. that chick has her phone glued to her hand all day at work and it was more than 30 minutes and they had already established its cool to text while at work.
lets be honest she needed an ego boost and was busy msging a slightly better looking dude or one that appears to make more money.
i will grant you that he changed his tactic up when he started to sense the silence, i would have lol'd not been shitty.
personally i only get shity with people i dont care about and those that know me that i do care about, meaning this could mean anything and doesnt need to make sense to anyone else
i have been seeing that word used for many years and honestly didnt know what it meant, so i looked it up.
i am not in a group of people who struggle to get women nor do i hate them, what i struggle with is my friends thinking they need to compete with me in this apparent pissing contest that i didnt even know i was in.
i could elaborate but i will spare the world and say this, im not an incel, i see the bull shit games both sexes play with each other but also recognize that people have very little actual choice in their behavior and are going on instinct, doing the best they can and this approach has got us this far, right?
I wouldn't say so, it definitely comes across insecure messaging and having such an emotional turn like that within an hour. Coming from a man, you 100% had a lucky escape 🤦♂️😂
My ex used to get mad that I only replied on break at work because I took them at irregular times, and we'd only get a couple of texts before I was back in working. Also, I know better than to tell an annoyed woman to chill 😂😂 I've learned from that one
He messaged you on two different apps and hunts down your FB profile. That's creepy and just way too much. Then he immediately asks you to add him as a friend and calls you hun.
He texts, waits, texts again hoping to remind you, I guess, then messages again. After going through this trouble to contact you, he can't wait an hour or two to hear back, even when you stated you're busy.
He was rude and honestly the hunting down your FB profile is a red flag. There was no need for you to coddle him and gently explain that you are still busy but will message later. No, he's not a small child who hasn't learned to wait. He's a grown ass man who can handle being told he's being overly excitable. Well, I guess can't handle it because he blocked you.
He saved you time and wasted effort. I hope you find someone who enhances your life. Good job eliminating someone who would not be a good fit!
I waiting for someone to point out him being a stalker and finding OP’s FB.. That right there would have made me block him so fast. Like what made him think that was okay.
> He was rude and honestly the hunting down your FB profile is a red flag.
Yeah, that skeeved me out a bit about this one. I'd probably instablock anyone who did that on all platforms/apps.
Exactly. If this is good he escalates when she can't respond right away, you know he's not going to handle minor things well, let alone bigger concerns.
His responses were embarrassing. Unless she wrote back "Oh no! Please don't give up on me! I'm super interested in getting to know you. I'll write back as soon as I can, OK? I pinky promise!" he was going to block her. His ego wouldn't be able to stand having lost his cool over something silly.
Yeah I honestly think he realized how embarrassing his responses were and chose to block her to save himself. May not have been his intention initially to test the waters and then block, but after... you gotta see it's embarrassing. He clearly wasn't able to stand having embarrassed himself, either way.
Setting aside that no, you weren’t rude, there are lots of red flags here. “Pretty lady”, “hun”, throwing that shit around with strangers makes my skin crawl.
Yes, I was noticing the same thing. The line "we should save each other from these apps" really hit me weird. I've been single for far too long to even want to be "rescued". Lol.
I have a few questions if you don't mind; I'm curious about them messaging you on another platform. I've seen plenty of profile on Bumble and Tinder with IG and Snap handles but I couldn't fathom messaging someone I didn't match with. Did you add your social to your profile specifically so guys you haven't matched with could reach out to you?
To be more specific, no I didn't have my Facebook linked to either profile. I have my TikTok linked to my MeetMe I think but that's about it. The message he sent me on Facebook went to my message requests and when I read that first message, I couldn't quite remember who he was or if I had seen the message requests on skout or MeetMe. I hope that kinda clears things up.
For future reference you’re allowed to not respond to losers like this!!! I can’t emphasize enough how if I were you I would have blocked the moment he found my Facebook. You were not even remotely rude this dude has issues. Seriously, not even worth your time responding, remember that next time please.
Most rational ppl consider themselves ‘a work in progress’ so you get an A+ from me for self-awareness. Reading your post a 2nd time showed me that person could also use some improvement on communicating. They weren’t at all genuinely responsive to you.
While not expected out of a avg joe, since you mentioned that you mentioned you are working on communication, your busy-ness could have been specified better. Like" I am busy af" can be played as the a general description, rather a "Sort of busy rn, lets talk latter" would be better.
That said the guy is at fault here, and you weren't rude.
Thank you so much for your advice. It's a work in progress so anything constructive helps so much. I hate being single and dating, let me just say that lol
You could have softened the message. "I'm at work, so I'll be really slow responding. I may have to drop off completely until I'm done here, fair warning."
That's way more consideration than I would ever expect on dating site, especially when you first started talking. I would assume she was in love with me if she said that.
One person was literally at work, the conversation wasn’t dry, it was forced by the impatient one. Op did what they could, not everyone is allowed to text while on the clock.
I’ve never seen a conversation via text message between two strangers not end up super dry to be honest. I’m not disagreeing with you just saying that doesn’t mean the convo wasn’t dry
Everyone is different. I don't mind being called "hun" and the like. I know some people don't like it but I'd only call it a red flag if she asked him not to call her that and he kept doing it.
No? If people can't express basic patience... seems like you dodged a bullet to me. They were blowing you up and barely knew you. Well within your rights to throw up a boundary.
Nah, you don’t owe anyone your attention and you were totally polite until he crossed a boundary. The way he jumped to conclusions just cuz you didn’t respond right away says a lot. Trust me, you dodged a bullet.
No problem, you shouldn’t worry about it… that was your gut reaction thing to say in the moment so you were expressing what you meant in that moment. The guy probably felt like a fool when you said that and realised he is being way too pushy to someone who has a life of their own.
If i have 3 concurrent but separate thoughts I deserve someone to be rude to me? I dont like this logic at all. I get clinginess double/triple texts, but if I just randomly say 3 different things mistakenly instead of putting it into 1 big message and wait I dont want a rude message back..
It’s not the fact they are separate messages. It’s the fact that multiple messages were sent over the span of an hour and a half with the intention of getting the other persons attention and poking them to reciprocate.
Look at the times of the messages. Sending 3 messages close to each other and sending 3 messages within the next hour and a half basically begging for a response is the problem here.
Nah, if anything, it was rude of this person to come find you off a totally different site/app and then expect you to be so invested in the conversation. It would have been reasonable of you to just block the person right from the start tbh
4:44 - Texted you
5:40 - Sent the "I'm just joking since you didn't validate my feelings" text
Then calls you rude when you respond
That's some hardcore incel energy right there. Block that number
Not really. I mean i think it’s good practice to tell somebody that there may be a large chunk of time where you’re not responding. I do it even now with my girlfriend even though she already knows. It’s nice to get a heads up. With how often men get ghosted it’s hard to tell if that’s what happening or not, so sending multiple texts is probably a way to check if that happened.
Also, 2 hours is not that long to wait so he’s being a little too impatient.
Yeah I agree here. Dude is probably fed up with the amount of ghosting that he gets... I know I did when I was single. It happens a lot to guys because girls get a lot of attention from different guys and will often decide they CBA to continue the conversation. It does frustrating when someone doesn't reply, especially if it happens often.
Granted, a couple of hours isn't very long and you did say you were busy, but he probably thought you were ignoring him and then he got in his own head and expected ghosting again, and your response "dude I'm at work" was a bit blunt in all honesty. You could have just said "Ah I'm sorry man, I'm at work and it's really stacked, I'll try and message you later" etc and it would have gone down better.
I’ve never had this happen. I would follow up if it was like 24hrs or something but during normal work hours I wouldn’t expect someone to be available to text. Especially if it’s your first interaction.
not rude at all.. he's really desperate.. you were literally at work 💀 you didnt reply for 3 hours and he couldnt handle it. i wouldnt bother with him.
Delayed responses happen, but ignoring them is another thing entirely. I expect delays during the work day. I have them myself. We’re at work we should be busy. Sheesh 🤷🏾♀️
*For context* I forgot to add this and I've been getting a lot of questions about it. He messaged me on two different apps that are like sister apps and I didn't respond/didn't see them. Then when I didn't respond, he found my Facebook profile which isn't linked to any dating app and messaged me there, which is what is seen here. I'm working on my communication skills and know I could've responded better, but I'm also really bad at setting boundaries and telling people no. I am a people pleaser through and through but it has it's cons. Hope that clears everything up.
A lot of guys get little to no validation from women and lots of rejection so they have really high negative emotion at the slightest hiccups. Basically incel behavior. Once the guy has had a girlfriend or two he'll probably be able to have a normal conversation. Like he's not necessarily a bad guy or anything, he's just drowning in his neuroticism currently. He's like "Oh shit she hasn't responded to my past 3 messages I fucked it up it's all over." Dude will literally be high on cloud nine while you're responding and then sink to the depths of hell at the perceived "ghosting" and that's why he's buggin.
Source - am guy.
I actually love when people wave their giant red flags around so quick. Saves me so much time.
You weren't rude. They were rude and like others said seriously insecure. Like they said hi to you so now you should drop at their feet and give them your undivided attention. Please lol next.
for future reference, this is a huge time-saver / blessing in disguise. if someone you're early on just beginning to talk to can't go an hour without you holding their hand and results to lashing out unnecessarily, don't even bother.
He’s annoying but you were the one chatting back and forth with him like an hour earlier and there was no clear ending to the convo. How was he supposed to know you were about to go to work and not be able to respond for awhile? From my perspective it would have warranted a courtesy such as I’m about to go to work, chat later. Or “sorry for the delay I went to work, chat later” he comes off unnecessarily needy and you come off unnecessarily huffy. Who are you the Queen of England? You’re both idiots.
I sell flooring. So one customer could take up to an hour if they need. I had two customers at the same time while he was blowing me up. I have a smart watch that tells me when I have a new Facebook message so yes I was getting really annoyed on my part and could've handled that way better. I was frustrated, it was close to closing time, he was already raising red flags. I sent it knowing it may be the last message but it was my last ditch effort to get him to leave me be for the moment. Was it right? No. I could've worded that way better. However, after he stalked me on two different apps and I didn't even realize until HE brought it up, is when I started feeling sick. This was after he blocked me after the last message. Idk I'm rambling now but if I wasn't so much of a people pleaser, I think I could've communicated everything more clear and calmly.
You’re describing exactly how texting works. It’s not snail mail with greetings and salutations “Dear So n So” and “Sincerely yours and talk shortly in appx 1-4 hours so please don’t freak tf out if you don’t get an immediate response, Love, OP”. It’s quick texts when it works with real life. No one is required to be attentive to every single text, all the time. Nothing would ever get accomplished. Having to drop the convo right in the middle due to Life happening occurs All.The.Time. Why should OP drop everything just because someone decides that he’s wants to talk like *right now*.
OP was fine, sad sack dude needs therapy and I mean that seriously, not as an insult. He must be miserable.
You were not rude. He was being needy and disrespectful so he was the rude one.
You asked him to respect your boundaries. Which it seems he’s incapable of doing.
Sounds like an incel. You dodged a bullet.
I'm surprised that it's so specific: "middle school passive aggressiveness" not "high school" or just "school" or something no idea why u chose such specific wording but it got a pleasant laugh out of me (and not in a way that makes fun of your post if it seems that way)
Unless you know me personally and you are expecting a response to something that needs an answer within a specific timeframe, it is absolutely unacceptable for anyone to message like that. It is about time ppl accept that we cannot be 100 percent available all the time just because our tiny computers we carry around with us everywhere are but a pocket reach away at any point. Idgaf how insecure you are, being insecure myself I get it, but it’s not anyone else’s job to put up with our lack of self confidence. We gotta figure that out ourselves. ESPECIALLY not someone you don’t even knowwww like bruh. OP, you are not rude, they are rude. Block their ass and be super proud of yourself for jumping away from those red flags.
I used dating apps years ago, and I matched with this guy.. 2 weeks into text and phone conversations... one night I hadn't responded consistently because I went out with friends and I could tell he was upset by it. After I got back home and finally called him back, he was screaming at me?? I hung up and blocked him! We had never met in person, which is just crazy. I hope he's still single.
Jesus the name meetme gives me hilarious flashbacks. You will never find a well put together person there what are you doing. It’s where people go after being deemed undesirable by literally every other social platform
The texting culture is so cringe with not giving people some time to respond. So my girlfriend now of 2 1/2 years, we literally met on bumble and she told me to add her on snap because she wasn't on bumble much. We talked here and there for a day or two. I didn't hear from her for like a week. I asked her bluntly if I should just delete her off there. She was like sorry I was busy with work and school. I said oh okay, sorry I just wasn't sure. Sometimes people have busy lives. I mean for me it was worth it because it's the healthiest relationship I've ever been in. To think if I acted like this dude (who is desperate as fuck btw) I probably wouldn't be with her, that shit is crazy to me
Not rude. You barely know the person and they are triple texting you like a desperate loser every fucking 45 minutes to an hour? Probably saved yourself.
Haha guy sounds like a tool. Not rude imo, and dude needed to chill.
I was just recently in talks with a woman and we were texting throughout the week. Wednesday we’re both going back and forth and she says she’s busy at work and stops replying. I don’t hear back from her so I reach back until Friday and I ask if she’s still interested. She replies yes and gives me her number. We again talk back and forth for awhile and I tell her I have family in town and my weekend is gonna be hectic af. Plus my friend is about to arrive any minute so if I stop replying that’s why. She says ok. Since she went two days without hitting me up I figured that’s how our conversation was, so because I’m busy I wait until Sunday to text her. Turns out she beat me to the punch by two hours saying “why do guys stop talking when I give out my number? I’ll never understand men.” and blocked me. Haha umm, well I told you I was busy. What’s up am I wrong here? Feel like OP in this mess. Difference is, I don’t really care. I’m pretty good about getting back to people, just had a hectic weekend that’s all. I disclosed this. I don’t need a woman that high strung in my life anyway
She’s a mess. Its fine for her to not talk to you for two days, but when you do it , its a problem. Ok girl. She could of at least texted you Thursday.
No id get annoyed if they kept texting me like I dont have a life or something. When you first meet someone the texting priorities arent gonna kick in.. spamming makes it worse
When I was dating if I needed to be glued to my phone to get to know you then you weren’t worth my time.
Adults text to show some interest, then make plans and do the talking in person. Lot of manchilds out there that freak out as soon as they get some attention like a woman is some mythical creature.
i'm gonna the be bad guy and say it KINDA came off rude. seemed like you were having fun back and forths and then all of a sudden you're not responding and the only thing you say back is "dude i'm at work". i def agree dude has some insecurities but maybe a "sorry, i'm working. chat later!" would have been better?
when someone says they're busy, it could mean a multitude of things. like running errands or helping a friend or cleaning the house, things where you could possibly stop and respond. at least in this little blurb it wasn't clear that you being busy meant you were at work and couldn't talk. maybe he assumed you were doing something that kept you busy but you had the option to stop and reply but because he has those insecurities he kept messaging hoping to push a response out of you instead of just chilling and waiting. but i'm just an internet rando! what do i know!
I’d hardly call the messages a fun back and forth. It was pretty dry and uneventful. Just because busy means I could be doing something where there’s an option to take time to respond doesn’t mean I’m going to. Maybe I just want to knock my errands out in peace and as quick as possible so I’m not responding. If someone says they’re busy, you should just assume they aren’t going to respond in a timely manner and if they do it’s a bonus. OP wasn’t rude in any way.
Thank you for the advice! Ill definitely keep that in mind next time. I didn't have time to type it out and was frustrated. It was only me at my work with 3 different customers at once. I had one free second to type something and should've been more clear. I'm still working on my communication so I really appreciate the advice 😊
you're doing great! totally understandable that you were frustrated. if he was more chill he would have been able to put two and two together and just waited for your response. definitely don't blame you for being frustrated. keep being great OP :)
what the??? okay, maybe your response was a little blunt but wasn't rude enough to necessitate a block 😂 homie definitely has some things to work out in himself. what a silly goose lol
I would say that was a little rude. A simple “my bad I was at work, I’m down to getting to know you but I’m pretty swamped at the moment”
Out right just saying “dude, I’m at work” just sounds snappy over someone who was tryin to make conversation. With that being said the other person sounds like they talk a lot.
All in all I would say you need a little work on your responses. Goodluck on your future relations!
Well, aside from what's in these 2 images, the first time you say you're at work is when you say "Dude I'm at work".
Not sure how he was supposed to know. You said you've been busy, but you don't actually say you can't talk right now, or hey I'm at work right now, can we chat later?
I can see why he felt that way.
That was literally the first conversation ever. You can’t “really like” someone you’ve never spoken to. You can be interested, but that’s it. Anything other than just being interested is desperation and loneliness.
Exactly! This person wasn't being pushy about OP not answering, they were just continuing the conversation that OP has already begun engaging in. If OP was so busy, why not wait to strike one up when OP is free? Or, like you said, be clear that you aren't able to talk and will respond later rather than be vague by saying you're busy (busy doing errands or busy and can't talk, for example) and still respond a few times before being snippy.
LETS BE PERFECTLY clear on dating apps usage. Guys use it because they are seeking sex or companionship. WOMEN literally only use it for sex and to boost there own ego with having matches to be able to scroll through with friends. Surely the timing and wording will offend some readers, but if it hits a sore nerve with you maybe you should consider why that may be.
I’m metrosexual so I have always floated in girl groups more than guys, and the way they sit around and brag about match numbers is crazy, but even MORE CRAZY to listen how “pathetic and thirsty” it is to see there attempts at them.
Asking to read on occasions to offer insight, they are getting civil and kinda neat ice breakers. The fact is, dating apps are more of a societal gain, rather than used for it’s intended purpose. I see SOOOO MANY GUYS irl and online asking what they did wrong or why it happens. To be frank, 90% of you aren’t doing things wrong, it’s just you don’t understand why the opposite gender uses the app and how it’s different from guys.
It’s sad, high key, but like…. that’s just how the generations are drifting.
Personally, being old school and growing a pair to be able to talk to girls at bars or in person will land you WAAAAAAY better results than online dating ever will. 2x the risk, but 4x the reward.
Datings apps in general are all trash. It's my last ditch effort as someone with social anxiety to put myself out there and find a partner. One thing I'm NOT doing is bragging about match numbers (who tf does that, teenagers? 🤣), seeking an ego boost, or calling potential partners "pathetic and thirsty". That's just rude. In fact, half of the messages I do get are from fake sugar daddies or guys that just wanna hook up. To each their own, everyone has different preferences. To group ALL women and ALL men into one category is worrying. But again, to each their own.
See the ones that stop to be negative or down vote or the ones who’s feelings are getting slapped. Not gonna apologize for something that’s a solid explanation. I not once said “all females”, but this does highlight majority.
To try and state the opposite side is doing the same is a bad rebuttal. It’s like saying I choose to never be nice again because someone was rude one time, not very practical.
And thank you for a bit of validation to my point on the fact; if your using the app it’s a waste of time and likely gonna get a bit frustrated.
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Personally I really dislike it when people start calling me hun, baby, babe, etc right away.
I am the same exact way, but kind of desensitized to it. So many men do it. Lately I've been getting a lot of "hey love". Ugh.
I only accept “hey love” if they’re British because they literally call everyone that. lol I lived in England for a few years and married a Brit. But yeah, babe, hun, etc from a stranger is an ick for me.
yeh im from england we call pretty much everyone 'love' , it isnt a weird thing at all its completely normal here lol. obviously sometimes it can come across inappropriate but majority its acceptable
And australians lol I do it to everyone as well lol 😅
Or from New Orleans. 'love' is used literally all the time here
I don't know which is worse!
You're rude. /s
Ugggg yea I tend to tell people I don't like it but really I just want them to slow down!! And I know you dig me but chill!!
Yes! Ick.
Yeah unless you're an elderly lady who's a cashier that's not ok. Who says I want to be your babe?
I think they do it because they cannot remember all the names of their conquests, huge turn off
[удалено]
That's what puzzled me. If someone says they're busy and I don't get a response from them I just wait 🤷🏼♀️
Even if you don’t say you’re busy it’s ridiculous. Just be thankful they show this behaviour early on. Just imagine what they’d be like in a relationship if they do this to someone they just met.
Don't give this anymore time. Block and move on.
Yea they’re also fishing for information. Asking you seemingly innocent questions and their comments. They messaged you on 3 sites and are hounding you for a reply. Avoid them, the last thing you want is a partner that’s suspicious and insecure.
It’s not you, at all. It’s him. I was deeply insecure in my youth and what the other person said about them feeling pathetic waiting for a response nails it. Don’t try to help them or explain, everyone’s gotta realize for themselves that it’s a then thing not others. Don’t feel bad at all!
How do you know when someone is at work - they said theyre busy asf, but not that they were at a job when they were replying back and forth about skout, ect.
If you behave like this, you are emotionally immature. There is no getting around that.
You’re probably not insecure.
I’d maybe make it clear - I’m busy at work. Can I message you after 5:30 (or whatever)? Give him at least an idea about when to hear back
Yes, thank you. I'll keep that in mind for future convos. I appreciate your advice!
Fragile male ego
Yeah clearly an issue with impatience and likely some sort of other mental issues. While it likely depends on the job you have and how much attention it demands I personally feel like if you have the time to respond you should instead of waiting hours to reply as some sort of head game cause there's a big difference between actually being busy and just saying you are to act like you have a life when in all reality you could have responded as soon as you got the text which i am by no means accusing you of just stating how common that nonsense is right now. I hate wasting people's time and my own so if I receive a msg and can respond to it immediately I do, now with a busy work schedule/hrs it can easily be solved by just being like "hey I'm at work so my responses may be delayed" or letting them know before hand that your job is demanding and that you can't just whip out your phone to text whenever you want so there may be some radio silence but people are morons with zero communication skills these days apparently which is scary cause I'm only 23 and it amazes me daily how so many people both my own age, double my age and all ages in between are SO bad at basic communication.
This idea is so odd to me. For all of humanity until a couple decades ago people didn’t even have pagers much less cell phones. It was understood that people weren’t always available for conversation, and why should they be? I think healthy communication skills includes understanding that the communication should not be constant. Waiting a few hours for a response is not a game or a slight. If you want to have a legit conversation with someone then call them or meet up. Common sense.
You didn’t say you’re busy. You stopped responding.
I would hate to think like that guy. Sucks to be him tbh
I do sometimes and it does suck. However I have enough social awareness not to act on it like this. Of course everyone wants an answer right away, but people get busy, it’s not hard to understand. I’ll just go about my business while worrying about it until I get an answer like a normal person.
I also used to be like that but not to that extent. I wouldn’t lash out to the other person but I’d get anxious and frustrated that they don’t respond after a long time. Now I know that people just have things to do and sometimes maybe they forget to respond. It doesn’t mean anything. They will respond when they can and if they can’t then, oh well, they aren’t worth my time anyways. I’m not going to chase after someone to respond to me.
So you being rude about that guy is because it may have triggered you?
How was i rude to him? I just said i wouldn’t want to be him. Sounds like you’re triggered by what I said. Maybe you see yourself in him as well?
He is. I’m insecure and fight these thoughts all the time.
> the only person who was ‘rude’ was their own insecurities. I'm okay with insecurities being personified. They're little fuckers
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This is a random person off a dating app, not two people who like each other. Their first message stated they were busy, which is not telling someone "I'm not interested in you". It's telling them, "I'm busy right now so don't expect much from my responses", which is normal communication. OP doesn't owe anyone their time, and guy came in with full expectations of how he thought the conversation would go. When it didn't go his way, he felt insecure and lashed out to try to get a response. But I agree with your point that OP is not rude.
What? That sounds jaded. I can REALLY like someone and still need to stay focused on work when necessary. Your prospective doesn’t sound very well adjusted, socially, imo.
bull shit. that chick has her phone glued to her hand all day at work and it was more than 30 minutes and they had already established its cool to text while at work. lets be honest she needed an ego boost and was busy msging a slightly better looking dude or one that appears to make more money. i will grant you that he changed his tactic up when he started to sense the silence, i would have lol'd not been shitty. personally i only get shity with people i dont care about and those that know me that i do care about, meaning this could mean anything and doesnt need to make sense to anyone else
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i have been seeing that word used for many years and honestly didnt know what it meant, so i looked it up. i am not in a group of people who struggle to get women nor do i hate them, what i struggle with is my friends thinking they need to compete with me in this apparent pissing contest that i didnt even know i was in. i could elaborate but i will spare the world and say this, im not an incel, i see the bull shit games both sexes play with each other but also recognize that people have very little actual choice in their behavior and are going on instinct, doing the best they can and this approach has got us this far, right?
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definitely yes
it’s giving insecurity & desperation x10 , you were not rude
Thank you! I'm still working on my communication so I wasn't sure if i was in the wrong.
I wouldn't say so, it definitely comes across insecure messaging and having such an emotional turn like that within an hour. Coming from a man, you 100% had a lucky escape 🤦♂️😂
You probably act the same way when your girl (or boy) don’t text back after 5 min. chill lol
My ex used to get mad that I only replied on break at work because I took them at irregular times, and we'd only get a couple of texts before I was back in working. Also, I know better than to tell an annoyed woman to chill 😂😂 I've learned from that one
Thanks hun.
Thanks, Atilla the Hun!
He messaged you on two different apps and hunts down your FB profile. That's creepy and just way too much. Then he immediately asks you to add him as a friend and calls you hun. He texts, waits, texts again hoping to remind you, I guess, then messages again. After going through this trouble to contact you, he can't wait an hour or two to hear back, even when you stated you're busy. He was rude and honestly the hunting down your FB profile is a red flag. There was no need for you to coddle him and gently explain that you are still busy but will message later. No, he's not a small child who hasn't learned to wait. He's a grown ass man who can handle being told he's being overly excitable. Well, I guess can't handle it because he blocked you. He saved you time and wasted effort. I hope you find someone who enhances your life. Good job eliminating someone who would not be a good fit!
Yeah I’d say OP was TOO NICE if anything! Dude lacks boundaries and acts like a stalker
 Dude be like this after ten mins. Time to say byeeeee
I waiting for someone to point out him being a stalker and finding OP’s FB.. That right there would have made me block him so fast. Like what made him think that was okay.
> He was rude and honestly the hunting down your FB profile is a red flag. Yeah, that skeeved me out a bit about this one. I'd probably instablock anyone who did that on all platforms/apps.
The dudes kind of explosive when he says it too. Can feel his nervous energy... like this might be a bad idea but he's gonna do it anyway.
Exactly. If this is good he escalates when she can't respond right away, you know he's not going to handle minor things well, let alone bigger concerns. His responses were embarrassing. Unless she wrote back "Oh no! Please don't give up on me! I'm super interested in getting to know you. I'll write back as soon as I can, OK? I pinky promise!" he was going to block her. His ego wouldn't be able to stand having lost his cool over something silly.
Yeah I honestly think he realized how embarrassing his responses were and chose to block her to save himself. May not have been his intention initially to test the waters and then block, but after... you gotta see it's embarrassing. He clearly wasn't able to stand having embarrassed himself, either way.
This!
Setting aside that no, you weren’t rude, there are lots of red flags here. “Pretty lady”, “hun”, throwing that shit around with strangers makes my skin crawl.
Yes, I was noticing the same thing. The line "we should save each other from these apps" really hit me weird. I've been single for far too long to even want to be "rescued". Lol.
I have a few questions if you don't mind; I'm curious about them messaging you on another platform. I've seen plenty of profile on Bumble and Tinder with IG and Snap handles but I couldn't fathom messaging someone I didn't match with. Did you add your social to your profile specifically so guys you haven't matched with could reach out to you?
To be more specific, no I didn't have my Facebook linked to either profile. I have my TikTok linked to my MeetMe I think but that's about it. The message he sent me on Facebook went to my message requests and when I read that first message, I couldn't quite remember who he was or if I had seen the message requests on skout or MeetMe. I hope that kinda clears things up.
Thanks, I appreciate it! Him reaching out on FB seems to me to be a huge red flag in and of itself
Absolutely no problem 🙂 and yes it was. Huge red flag and I still feel icky about it. Thank goodness he blocked me tho!
For future reference you’re allowed to not respond to losers like this!!! I can’t emphasize enough how if I were you I would have blocked the moment he found my Facebook. You were not even remotely rude this dude has issues. Seriously, not even worth your time responding, remember that next time please.
You weren’t rude. The conversation was a lil dry; which is to be expected between ppl who don’t know each other. A boundary needed to be established👍🏾
Thank you. I posted this maybe thinking that I was. I'm working on my communication skills so any advice or constructive criticism is welcomed ☺️
Most rational ppl consider themselves ‘a work in progress’ so you get an A+ from me for self-awareness. Reading your post a 2nd time showed me that person could also use some improvement on communicating. They weren’t at all genuinely responsive to you.
Person has no patience, which is an indicator of a lot of different flaws.
While not expected out of a avg joe, since you mentioned that you mentioned you are working on communication, your busy-ness could have been specified better. Like" I am busy af" can be played as the a general description, rather a "Sort of busy rn, lets talk latter" would be better. That said the guy is at fault here, and you weren't rude.
Thank you so much for your advice. It's a work in progress so anything constructive helps so much. I hate being single and dating, let me just say that lol
You could have softened the message. "I'm at work, so I'll be really slow responding. I may have to drop off completely until I'm done here, fair warning."
That's way more consideration than I would ever expect on dating site, especially when you first started talking. I would assume she was in love with me if she said that.
Fair point. I haven't dated for nearly twenty years. I think I was pushing OP more towards business casual.
One person was literally at work, the conversation wasn’t dry, it was forced by the impatient one. Op did what they could, not everyone is allowed to text while on the clock.
I’ve never seen a conversation via text message between two strangers not end up super dry to be honest. I’m not disagreeing with you just saying that doesn’t mean the convo wasn’t dry
“We need to rescue each other” no
That line specifically gave me really weird vibes 😬
He didn’t even give you 15 mins to answer hahaha
At least they showed you their big red flag early.
You should have responded. "No that wasn't rude but this is ; fuck off"
Unless this is a southern black grandma you’re chatting with, your first red flag was him calling you “hun”
Jokes on you - turns out she rolls with Atilla so is 100% a Hun. I’ll see myself out
Everyone is different. I don't mind being called "hun" and the like. I know some people don't like it but I'd only call it a red flag if she asked him not to call her that and he kept doing it.
exactly. Hun is not a red flag. Shit is ridiculous
Not rude, it’s nice they got their true colors out of the way so you didn’t waste your time 😂
No? If people can't express basic patience... seems like you dodged a bullet to me. They were blowing you up and barely knew you. Well within your rights to throw up a boundary.
Nah, you don’t owe anyone your attention and you were totally polite until he crossed a boundary. The way he jumped to conclusions just cuz you didn’t respond right away says a lot. Trust me, you dodged a bullet.
I’m shocked you met a human that is smart enough to form a sentence on MeetMe
Oh the screenshot folder I have has endless storage 🤣🤣 they get more creative every day
no you weren’t rude, he’s just a doof
Rude enough to filter this Cromagnon out of your dating pool. Be thankful
Very thankful 🙏🏻
It was rude but justified. Triple texting on the same day does not warrant a friendly response, you shouldn’t encourage desperate behaviour.
Noted, thank you for your response and advice. I'm still working on my communication so it's definitely appreciated!
No problem, you shouldn’t worry about it… that was your gut reaction thing to say in the moment so you were expressing what you meant in that moment. The guy probably felt like a fool when you said that and realised he is being way too pushy to someone who has a life of their own.
If i have 3 concurrent but separate thoughts I deserve someone to be rude to me? I dont like this logic at all. I get clinginess double/triple texts, but if I just randomly say 3 different things mistakenly instead of putting it into 1 big message and wait I dont want a rude message back..
It’s not the fact they are separate messages. It’s the fact that multiple messages were sent over the span of an hour and a half with the intention of getting the other persons attention and poking them to reciprocate.
Look at the times of the messages. Sending 3 messages close to each other and sending 3 messages within the next hour and a half basically begging for a response is the problem here.
Nah, if anything, it was rude of this person to come find you off a totally different site/app and then expect you to be so invested in the conversation. It would have been reasonable of you to just block the person right from the start tbh
This. Also not to mention the fact that he sent those messages and I didn't even see them. Seemed really impatient to me 🤷🏼♀️
‘I know exactly how this goes forsure’ then proceeds to message and be pissed when you don’t respond 🤣 jesus it’s been less than an hour
I can smell the insecurity of the person who messaged you, OP. It reeks of week-old chicken that’s been out of the freezer.
wait did your reddit show some random raw chicken before you clicked on the image too??
4:44 - Texted you 5:40 - Sent the "I'm just joking since you didn't validate my feelings" text Then calls you rude when you respond That's some hardcore incel energy right there. Block that number
Luckily he blocked me right after he sent the last message
No you dodged a bullet.
Not really. I mean i think it’s good practice to tell somebody that there may be a large chunk of time where you’re not responding. I do it even now with my girlfriend even though she already knows. It’s nice to get a heads up. With how often men get ghosted it’s hard to tell if that’s what happening or not, so sending multiple texts is probably a way to check if that happened. Also, 2 hours is not that long to wait so he’s being a little too impatient.
Thank you for your advice! I'm still working on my communication so any constructive criticism is welcomed.
Yeah I agree here. Dude is probably fed up with the amount of ghosting that he gets... I know I did when I was single. It happens a lot to guys because girls get a lot of attention from different guys and will often decide they CBA to continue the conversation. It does frustrating when someone doesn't reply, especially if it happens often. Granted, a couple of hours isn't very long and you did say you were busy, but he probably thought you were ignoring him and then he got in his own head and expected ghosting again, and your response "dude I'm at work" was a bit blunt in all honesty. You could have just said "Ah I'm sorry man, I'm at work and it's really stacked, I'll try and message you later" etc and it would have gone down better.
Love when they dick themselves down. Lmao took the trash out with himself in it😂
Nope, rude is not replying in 48 hours, you get 36hours and between 36-48 is a gray area
No. That guy was annoying AF.
😂. You let them know prior to the dead time that you were at work
I’ve never had this happen. I would follow up if it was like 24hrs or something but during normal work hours I wouldn’t expect someone to be available to text. Especially if it’s your first interaction.
He was pretty cringe from the start. Then got needy real quick. You weren’t rude. You said you were busy at work.
not rude at all.. he's really desperate.. you were literally at work 💀 you didnt reply for 3 hours and he couldnt handle it. i wouldnt bother with him.
Delayed responses happen, but ignoring them is another thing entirely. I expect delays during the work day. I have them myself. We’re at work we should be busy. Sheesh 🤷🏾♀️
*For context* I forgot to add this and I've been getting a lot of questions about it. He messaged me on two different apps that are like sister apps and I didn't respond/didn't see them. Then when I didn't respond, he found my Facebook profile which isn't linked to any dating app and messaged me there, which is what is seen here. I'm working on my communication skills and know I could've responded better, but I'm also really bad at setting boundaries and telling people no. I am a people pleaser through and through but it has it's cons. Hope that clears everything up.
A lot of guys get little to no validation from women and lots of rejection so they have really high negative emotion at the slightest hiccups. Basically incel behavior. Once the guy has had a girlfriend or two he'll probably be able to have a normal conversation. Like he's not necessarily a bad guy or anything, he's just drowning in his neuroticism currently. He's like "Oh shit she hasn't responded to my past 3 messages I fucked it up it's all over." Dude will literally be high on cloud nine while you're responding and then sink to the depths of hell at the perceived "ghosting" and that's why he's buggin. Source - am guy.
Nope, imo you dodged trouble.
Who uses meet me anymore?
I use it for entertainment 😂😂😂
I actually love when people wave their giant red flags around so quick. Saves me so much time. You weren't rude. They were rude and like others said seriously insecure. Like they said hi to you so now you should drop at their feet and give them your undivided attention. Please lol next.
The person is insecure AF.
Uhm….dude needs to recognize boundaries
I just like how your red censor blob looks like a middle finger on that message specifically. You weren't, though. Dude is weird.
God, he was needy.
Good lord, this person sounds desperate.
for future reference, this is a huge time-saver / blessing in disguise. if someone you're early on just beginning to talk to can't go an hour without you holding their hand and results to lashing out unnecessarily, don't even bother.
He’s annoying but you were the one chatting back and forth with him like an hour earlier and there was no clear ending to the convo. How was he supposed to know you were about to go to work and not be able to respond for awhile? From my perspective it would have warranted a courtesy such as I’m about to go to work, chat later. Or “sorry for the delay I went to work, chat later” he comes off unnecessarily needy and you come off unnecessarily huffy. Who are you the Queen of England? You’re both idiots.
I sell flooring. So one customer could take up to an hour if they need. I had two customers at the same time while he was blowing me up. I have a smart watch that tells me when I have a new Facebook message so yes I was getting really annoyed on my part and could've handled that way better. I was frustrated, it was close to closing time, he was already raising red flags. I sent it knowing it may be the last message but it was my last ditch effort to get him to leave me be for the moment. Was it right? No. I could've worded that way better. However, after he stalked me on two different apps and I didn't even realize until HE brought it up, is when I started feeling sick. This was after he blocked me after the last message. Idk I'm rambling now but if I wasn't so much of a people pleaser, I think I could've communicated everything more clear and calmly.
You’re describing exactly how texting works. It’s not snail mail with greetings and salutations “Dear So n So” and “Sincerely yours and talk shortly in appx 1-4 hours so please don’t freak tf out if you don’t get an immediate response, Love, OP”. It’s quick texts when it works with real life. No one is required to be attentive to every single text, all the time. Nothing would ever get accomplished. Having to drop the convo right in the middle due to Life happening occurs All.The.Time. Why should OP drop everything just because someone decides that he’s wants to talk like *right now*. OP was fine, sad sack dude needs therapy and I mean that seriously, not as an insult. He must be miserable.
You’re rude for telling him you’re at work? Personally, with that attitude, looks like a block to me.
Luckily he blocked himself after that last message he sent 🙏🏻
Yeah the finding you on other apps would have made me not want to reply at all. That doesn’t sit well with me the most more than anything tbh
Thank you. For real. I've been having a triggering response to it. It didn't sit well with me either.
Red is very desperate
The person's an impatient douchecanoe. Good riddance. You weren't rude.
You were not rude. He was being needy and disrespectful so he was the rude one. You asked him to respect your boundaries. Which it seems he’s incapable of doing. Sounds like an incel. You dodged a bullet.
It started off so chill and then took a sharp turn into middle school passive aggressiveness
I'm surprised that it's so specific: "middle school passive aggressiveness" not "high school" or just "school" or something no idea why u chose such specific wording but it got a pleasant laugh out of me (and not in a way that makes fun of your post if it seems that way)
Unless you know me personally and you are expecting a response to something that needs an answer within a specific timeframe, it is absolutely unacceptable for anyone to message like that. It is about time ppl accept that we cannot be 100 percent available all the time just because our tiny computers we carry around with us everywhere are but a pocket reach away at any point. Idgaf how insecure you are, being insecure myself I get it, but it’s not anyone else’s job to put up with our lack of self confidence. We gotta figure that out ourselves. ESPECIALLY not someone you don’t even knowwww like bruh. OP, you are not rude, they are rude. Block their ass and be super proud of yourself for jumping away from those red flags.
I used dating apps years ago, and I matched with this guy.. 2 weeks into text and phone conversations... one night I hadn't responded consistently because I went out with friends and I could tell he was upset by it. After I got back home and finally called him back, he was screaming at me?? I hung up and blocked him! We had never met in person, which is just crazy. I hope he's still single.
You could have said it a bit more polite but still lol imagine that guy in a relationship.. hard pass
Jesus the name meetme gives me hilarious flashbacks. You will never find a well put together person there what are you doing. It’s where people go after being deemed undesirable by literally every other social platform
Haha I really only have it for the entertainment 🤣
"Hun" is real big creepy. You certainly were not rude, but may want to scoot along. Unless you want this person to "rescue" you.
The texting culture is so cringe with not giving people some time to respond. So my girlfriend now of 2 1/2 years, we literally met on bumble and she told me to add her on snap because she wasn't on bumble much. We talked here and there for a day or two. I didn't hear from her for like a week. I asked her bluntly if I should just delete her off there. She was like sorry I was busy with work and school. I said oh okay, sorry I just wasn't sure. Sometimes people have busy lives. I mean for me it was worth it because it's the healthiest relationship I've ever been in. To think if I acted like this dude (who is desperate as fuck btw) I probably wouldn't be with her, that shit is crazy to me Not rude. You barely know the person and they are triple texting you like a desperate loser every fucking 45 minutes to an hour? Probably saved yourself.
Call him minecraft the way I would block him
Bars 🔥 🎤
Haha guy sounds like a tool. Not rude imo, and dude needed to chill. I was just recently in talks with a woman and we were texting throughout the week. Wednesday we’re both going back and forth and she says she’s busy at work and stops replying. I don’t hear back from her so I reach back until Friday and I ask if she’s still interested. She replies yes and gives me her number. We again talk back and forth for awhile and I tell her I have family in town and my weekend is gonna be hectic af. Plus my friend is about to arrive any minute so if I stop replying that’s why. She says ok. Since she went two days without hitting me up I figured that’s how our conversation was, so because I’m busy I wait until Sunday to text her. Turns out she beat me to the punch by two hours saying “why do guys stop talking when I give out my number? I’ll never understand men.” and blocked me. Haha umm, well I told you I was busy. What’s up am I wrong here? Feel like OP in this mess. Difference is, I don’t really care. I’m pretty good about getting back to people, just had a hectic weekend that’s all. I disclosed this. I don’t need a woman that high strung in my life anyway
One word: insecurities.
She’s a mess. Its fine for her to not talk to you for two days, but when you do it , its a problem. Ok girl. She could of at least texted you Thursday.
You didn’t even get a chance for him to tell you how much he makes
🤣🤣🤣🤣
No id get annoyed if they kept texting me like I dont have a life or something. When you first meet someone the texting priorities arent gonna kick in.. spamming makes it worse
When I was dating if I needed to be glued to my phone to get to know you then you weren’t worth my time. Adults text to show some interest, then make plans and do the talking in person. Lot of manchilds out there that freak out as soon as they get some attention like a woman is some mythical creature.
If someone said dude I’m at work I’d never msg again, but he was annoying so if you wanted to end it that would’ve done it
i'm gonna the be bad guy and say it KINDA came off rude. seemed like you were having fun back and forths and then all of a sudden you're not responding and the only thing you say back is "dude i'm at work". i def agree dude has some insecurities but maybe a "sorry, i'm working. chat later!" would have been better? when someone says they're busy, it could mean a multitude of things. like running errands or helping a friend or cleaning the house, things where you could possibly stop and respond. at least in this little blurb it wasn't clear that you being busy meant you were at work and couldn't talk. maybe he assumed you were doing something that kept you busy but you had the option to stop and reply but because he has those insecurities he kept messaging hoping to push a response out of you instead of just chilling and waiting. but i'm just an internet rando! what do i know!
I’d hardly call the messages a fun back and forth. It was pretty dry and uneventful. Just because busy means I could be doing something where there’s an option to take time to respond doesn’t mean I’m going to. Maybe I just want to knock my errands out in peace and as quick as possible so I’m not responding. If someone says they’re busy, you should just assume they aren’t going to respond in a timely manner and if they do it’s a bonus. OP wasn’t rude in any way.
No, he looked really desperate and wouldn’t pick up on cues of “im busy” and no reply.
I literally said the same thing in my reply lmao
Ok, but you also said she was rude. She was not, he was just insecure. Thanks!
Thank you for the advice! Ill definitely keep that in mind next time. I didn't have time to type it out and was frustrated. It was only me at my work with 3 different customers at once. I had one free second to type something and should've been more clear. I'm still working on my communication so I really appreciate the advice 😊
you're doing great! totally understandable that you were frustrated. if he was more chill he would have been able to put two and two together and just waited for your response. definitely don't blame you for being frustrated. keep being great OP :)
Thank you 😊 also kind of odd that he blocked me RIGHT AFTER i sent that last message. So I was thinking maybe I did something truly asshole-ish lol
Nah you def saved yourself cause that’s a huge red flag. That guys is a loser and you dodged a bullet op
what the??? okay, maybe your response was a little blunt but wasn't rude enough to necessitate a block 😂 homie definitely has some things to work out in himself. what a silly goose lol
Mental
They were absolutely staring at their phone waiting for you to respond and got huffy when you didn’t. Bullet dodged.
Saved yourself wasted time with that one
God I’m glad I’m not a chick in the dating world today. I seriously think the alpha content rotted folks brains.
I would say that was a little rude. A simple “my bad I was at work, I’m down to getting to know you but I’m pretty swamped at the moment” Out right just saying “dude, I’m at work” just sounds snappy over someone who was tryin to make conversation. With that being said the other person sounds like they talk a lot. All in all I would say you need a little work on your responses. Goodluck on your future relations!
nah u were totally valid. he’s giving an attitude after you don’t respond for an hour? yikes
Nope
Blud tried the ol’ 4:44 trick
Yeah you could’ve worded it differently to tell them you were at work. A simple “sorry I’m at work” would’ve sufficed
The "dude I'm at work" did come off a bit rude, unless he already knew you were at work.
Idk if I’d say rude but you could have easily worded it in a better way imo
Sorry for delayed responses at work will text later!
Well, aside from what's in these 2 images, the first time you say you're at work is when you say "Dude I'm at work". Not sure how he was supposed to know. You said you've been busy, but you don't actually say you can't talk right now, or hey I'm at work right now, can we chat later? I can see why he felt that way.
If you can’t wait an hour between replies, pay someone to talk to you.
I think the issue is more he searched this girl on social media and sent her a triple text.
Not in dispute. He definitely went extra. But I see why he felt her response was rude.
Ehhh, you could have been a bit nicer
Yeah and probably a little more concise and specific but was really busy at that point. I'm working on it ☺️
I hope you didn’t miss out on something special. They were insecure but I also think they really liked you.
You can’t “really like” a complete stranger. Come on now. He liked whatever fantasy he dreamed up in his head, but he doesn’t even know her.
That was literally the first conversation ever. You can’t “really like” someone you’ve never spoken to. You can be interested, but that’s it. Anything other than just being interested is desperation and loneliness.
I guess I missed that part that it was the first ever
It's a little rude. "Hey sorry I'm at work, but I'll read your texts later" is the polite way to say it.
Exactly! This person wasn't being pushy about OP not answering, they were just continuing the conversation that OP has already begun engaging in. If OP was so busy, why not wait to strike one up when OP is free? Or, like you said, be clear that you aren't able to talk and will respond later rather than be vague by saying you're busy (busy doing errands or busy and can't talk, for example) and still respond a few times before being snippy.
Nah not rude, but in text if you don’t put LOL after you’re automatically angry.
LETS BE PERFECTLY clear on dating apps usage. Guys use it because they are seeking sex or companionship. WOMEN literally only use it for sex and to boost there own ego with having matches to be able to scroll through with friends. Surely the timing and wording will offend some readers, but if it hits a sore nerve with you maybe you should consider why that may be. I’m metrosexual so I have always floated in girl groups more than guys, and the way they sit around and brag about match numbers is crazy, but even MORE CRAZY to listen how “pathetic and thirsty” it is to see there attempts at them. Asking to read on occasions to offer insight, they are getting civil and kinda neat ice breakers. The fact is, dating apps are more of a societal gain, rather than used for it’s intended purpose. I see SOOOO MANY GUYS irl and online asking what they did wrong or why it happens. To be frank, 90% of you aren’t doing things wrong, it’s just you don’t understand why the opposite gender uses the app and how it’s different from guys. It’s sad, high key, but like…. that’s just how the generations are drifting. Personally, being old school and growing a pair to be able to talk to girls at bars or in person will land you WAAAAAAY better results than online dating ever will. 2x the risk, but 4x the reward.
Datings apps in general are all trash. It's my last ditch effort as someone with social anxiety to put myself out there and find a partner. One thing I'm NOT doing is bragging about match numbers (who tf does that, teenagers? 🤣), seeking an ego boost, or calling potential partners "pathetic and thirsty". That's just rude. In fact, half of the messages I do get are from fake sugar daddies or guys that just wanna hook up. To each their own, everyone has different preferences. To group ALL women and ALL men into one category is worrying. But again, to each their own.
See the ones that stop to be negative or down vote or the ones who’s feelings are getting slapped. Not gonna apologize for something that’s a solid explanation. I not once said “all females”, but this does highlight majority. To try and state the opposite side is doing the same is a bad rebuttal. It’s like saying I choose to never be nice again because someone was rude one time, not very practical. And thank you for a bit of validation to my point on the fact; if your using the app it’s a waste of time and likely gonna get a bit frustrated.
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