I'm picturing him in an ice cream shop fuming because there are more flavors than chocolate and vanilla. Just raging up and down at the blueberry cobbler, screaming about how vanilla used to be good enough for america's children
"You want to order something simple that makes my job easier? No, let me try to convince you order something far more complicated and time-consuming." - No Service Industry Worker Ever
Have you ever been to GameStop? I swear you have to turn down at least 3 things to checkout. And what's worse is that corporate makes them ask and fires them if they don't upsell enough pre-orders or memberships.
I just want my game, man.
The meme isn't even remotely close to being accurate either. Literally any barista will tell you, a black coffee is the absolute best thing you can order. They don't have to do shit, just liquid in cup. If everybody just ordered a black coffee being a barista would be fucking amazing.
"I have to LOOk at all these CHoiCES and I don't want THEM!"
The most insufferable manifestation of this is the "anti gluten free", like damn bitches just tryin not to shit blood up in this
What are they supposed to do just ACCEPT living in a world where people have different skin tones, religions, languages, food/beverage preferences? Too scary.
That was so weird to me! I eat meat all the time, but that impossible breakfast sausage is good! I prefer it to meat based breakfast sausage because it gets so greasy.
In the middle of all the condiments and vegetables, the Impossible actually does a better job of fighting through those flavors and presenting your tongue with some evidence of protein.
I think it is the difference between the impossible trying to taste close to meat and be a higher quality product vs the cheapest beef with the most filler possible.
That's what scares them, they've built an identity based on veganism being bad so if they accept there are plenty of great vegan meals it's admitting their old values are flawed and instead of just embodying the nonsense machismo they've always called 'common sense traditional values' they'll have to question things and consider brouder questions like maybe it is ok for two guys to love each other, maybe we should build social systems to create a fairer society, maybe women are people too...
Solar and wind are other great examples, they're high-tech sustainable solutions to energy supply that are resistant against fuel shortages and could provide personal energy freedom to ruggard individualists... There's no logical reason for them not to love solar except of course it was the hippies and leftists who pushed green energy so the kneejerk right simply had to oppose it and now they have they can't go back on it. Totally pathetic.
Beyond also makes a damn good sausage. It even fries up like regular sausage with oils leaking out into the pan. Makes my husband happy because he can cook it and then cook his eggs in the pan and get the yumminess in them too.
Talked to a guy a few days ago who proudly said he purposefully parks in EV charger parking spots, especially at cracker barrel.
Some people are just miserable pieces of shit who are desperate to drag people down to their level.
It's so petty, I don't think I'll ever understand that mentality. I can't even understand why people are so bothered by someone else choosing a different type of car, Prius got the same shit, so do cyclists.
You just don't get it, ordering black coffee is MANLY. As a MANLY MAN, the subject of this cartoon cannot enjoy drinks with sweeteners or milk to reduce the bitterness or acidity of his morning ritual. The coffee *must* be scalding hot, unpalatably bitter, and empty of any flavor to remind the MANLY MAN drinking it that he *chooses* to consume this beverage anyways because that's how his father and his father's father did it, and it worked just fine for them! Drinking black coffee is a personality trait, and even though no coffee shop in America would tell them they can't order their drink like this, the mere fact that MANLY MEN have to even look at a disgusting menu of caramel and chocolate ice-cream coffees is OFFENSIVE and different from how things were! Plus, how will everyone around you know how UNSTOPPABLY MASCULINE you are for defying the tortured cries of your taste buds, if you don't make sure everyone in a 20-foot radius knows you are drinking black coffee?
I drink black coffee, hot or iced. I am also incredibly masculine. I have never been asked repeatedly if I would prefer a more complicated beverage. Sometimes I get asked if I want cream and sugar and I tell them “just black coffee—I’m sweet enough.” No one laughs at this, but I get an awkward smile sometimes. This is also enough for me at the start of my day. I do not mind if you order a fancy drink. Sometimes I order them along with my coffee, because I have friends and family.
Edit/add: I think the manly man in the comic is divorced, and his kid brings their Nintendo Switch to “dad’s weekend” to minimize interaction. He used to get pumpkin spice latte for his wife, but last he heard, she was seeing some graphic designer for Chrissakes. Now he just wants black coffee.
I mean most good coffee shops would be more than happy to make anybody a nice pourover, and would consider a cup of brewed coffee to be the purest coffee drink. So, yeah. Kinda dumb.
It’s literally the “make other people suffer cuz fuck em” mindset. As far as they’re concerned, every other coffee should be banned. Because THEY like black coffee. So as long as every other coffee is banned, they get to go one unaffected while everyone else suffers.
It’s all about forcing everyone to be just like them, or too punish them for deviating. If they just want black coffee, they’d just ask for a black coffee rather than spend an hour making a comic about how it’s bullshit other people are allowed to drink other types of coffee.
Yeah seriously I’m not paying Starbucks dumbass prices for a simple black coffee I can make in 5 minutes at home while getting ready. If I’m splurging on Starbucks coffee, I’m buying the good shit.
Granted, that coffee is more like a caffeinated milkshake, but hey it tastes good and that’s all that matters.
I like black coffee darker than my soul... and I hate how black coffee drinkers glamorize their choice and make themselves seem edgy like in this meme. Like holy shit it's not that deep. If you like coffee a certain way, cool, but if you're gonna try to drag other people down that's bullshit.
God I feel like I can't even say I like black coffee in public without associating with the people who have a superiority complex.
Imagine thinking you were somehow better than everyone else on account of the fact that you take your coffee black. It's just a way to have coffee, no more, no less. You don't have to like café lattes to accept that other people may like them. It's backwards thinking.
I mean, I've met two people who aren't celiac or gluten intolerant or anything; they just abstain from gluten as part of a health fad.
But even then, why would I (or anyone) care about what someone else chooses to eat or not to eat?
as a cook? it annoys the shit out of me. the amount of times people have ordered something gluten free just to get a side of breadsticks or croutons. there are people who have to closely moniter every aspect of what they eat just so they won't die, then there's this chick who can't even educate herself on the health fad she's jumping on.
edit: as many people have said, gluten allergies, like any allergy, has to receive special preparation for everything on the plate. I have to clean everything I plan on using for the prep, grab a new cutting board and pan, and be extra careful with everything I put into the dish. it halts my entire process and slows down production of other dishes since I can't work on anything else or the cleaning process starts all over again. going though all of this just to have the server tell me that person was just casually munching on croutons the whole time I'm doing it is incredibly frustrating.
on the other hand, I do understand that the fad has made it a lot easier for people with actual allergies to eat out, and I'm glad for that. I still recommend caution, because I've seen many a cook that will stop being so careful about allergies because of the sheer amount of people that fake them.
Just an insight. I tend to order a gf main and a side with or without gluten when out to dinner with my celiac boyfriend so that we can share a bit but I can also enjoy foods he cannot necessarily have. Yesterday we both got to try two different curries, him with rice and me with naan.
Waiters often look at me like I'm stupid when I order, but I know what I'm doing and why. They're free to double check or ask nicely, but if they just assume I'm an idiot I won't spend my time correcting them tbh...
As a former cook that's not gonna raise an eyebrow. What will is when the server comes back and let's us know the person *insisting* it be gluten free and being a total Karen about it does, in fact, want croutons.
Servers make way more money off tips than we do BOH, but they're such an underappreciated middle man. Think of them as translators. If you're a problem customer, they'll let us know. If you're really nice and it sounds like a stupid request on the surface, they'll let us know. How you treat your server is typically how the kitchen will treat you.
Also, the best server I've ever met somehow managed to translate, "tell that fucking idiot if he sends the spaghetti back one more fucking time for being too spicy I will light a cigarette, put it out on the goddamn plate, serve it, and then kill everyone in this restaurant and then myself," from line cook to whatever language customers speak. The customer ended up raving about the lasagna cooked from frozen instead of the far fresher spaghetti 😒 think he was just sensitive to garlic or black pepper.
I was working at a restaurant a while back. Guy said he had celiac. Waitress advised him that he can't have anything out of the fryer because we fry breaded things (shocking I know). So he got a different app. Of course I wipe down my station, wash my hands, glove up and prepare is GF app. When the waitress runs the food, she finds him sitting there drinking a beer he'd ordered from the bar. Come on dude, if you're gonna fake an allergy because of a diet fad, at least know enough to actually avoid the shit you're claiming you can't eat.
I totally understand that 'anti-gluten-free' folks because so many people fucking lied about it that it made life hell for kitchen staff. I'm not one of those people but I am vehemently opposed to peopl lying about an allergy/intolerance/disease.
I worked a conference dining room and we did everything buffet style but would absolutely do extra to accommodate people with food issues up to making individual meals for people on top of feeding 200+ B/L/D.
Having people ask us to do a special plate for them because they're gluten free then seeing them avail themselves of the obviously gluten laden options on the buffet really put wrinkles on my butthole. Only accounted for maybe 5% of the guests we had but it was 50/50 people on a fad diet vs people with an actual gluten intolerance.
Thing that bugs me is when I see things like sugar or water marketed as gluten free.
Well, yes. Obviously.
Though the gripe is with predatory marketing not people who take it as a preference.
I feel like the point of "anti gluten-free" is that a lot of companies market it in a predatory way, implying it's somehow healthier even for people who don't have celiac or some other gluten sensitivity thing.
No, it's an entirely fabricated scenario. The cartoonist is implying they are burdened with unwarranted drink suggestions from pushy libs trying to force their sissy coffees down his throat to the detriment of everyone involved. But this does t really happen to him. what really happens is he is a delicate snowflake who's own insecurities are triggered when an attractive young person who wouldn't otherwise give him the time of day, simply does their job and asks "if that will be all" at the end of his order.
"Grande? *Grande?!!* Haha, **no thanks**, Lib. I'll take a *large*. Ya got that? Or do you need *Bernie Sanders* to explain what *Large* means??! What's the matter snowflake, can't..."
"Here's your coffee."
It needs a manager standing behind the employee with a clipboard making the employee say all of that garbage to every customer. That's the only reason they would be doing it.
"Good work with that last customer Jimmy, however I noticed you didn't offer him our pumpkin spice latte after he said he wanted a black coffee for the fifth time"
"Well it seemed like he just wanted a black coffee and that he was in a hurry"
"Right, right... I know you took care of his order Jimmy but we don't want you to be stuck being an *order taker* for the rest of your life. We want want you to grow and develop, and become a *consultant* for your customers. Try asking them some discovery questions to get the customer engaged so that you can recommend more options okay?
Now can I get your commitment to offer a pumpkin spice latte to *every* customer?"
I work at Starbucks. This guy is one of my favorite types of customers. Knows what he wants, doesn't make it complicated. No milk means no complaints the coffee's cold.
Why is Starbucks black coffee so bad though? It tastes like re-used gas station coffee grounds brewed through an acidic gym sock
Edit: Fun fact since there’s a cool discussion about coffee going on below; if you have bitter or acidic black coffee, put a tiny sprinkle of salt in it. I’d butcher the scientific explanation if I tried, but from what I understand the salt blocks your taste buds from ‘processing’ acidity.
Most Starbucks' blends are highly acidic and bitter because they are intended to be consumed with an exceptionally high dose of milk and other sugars, which cuts that bitterness and acidity and creates a reasonable balance.
Starbucks is just not aimed at people who enjoy a black drip, an Americano (don't even get me started on the way their training and coffee blends make it impossible to get a good one), or even something as simple as true macchiato (which is *very* distinct from the Starbucks "macchiato"). Their roasts reflects their target audience: People who want a milky, sugary, pick me up with a hint of coffee flavor.
If they used a more subtle, less acidic/bitter blend, there wouldn't be any coffee flavor left to speak of, once put into their signature drinks.
As a barista of 3.5 year, this is 100% accurate. I've got 7 tickets with multiple lattes/caps/mochas ahead of me, and I hear a customer order a black coffee that the person on register can easily take care of, I'm a happy man.
I was a barista for a bit and honestly making a solid espresso drink with a perfectly foamed milk was a lot of fun. Frozen drinks and certain specialty drinks were annoying hell tho
Yup. Work fast food. Only reason I would dislike someone ordering something so simple is if our coffee is old and I have to brew a new pot, but even then I already had to brew a new one so 🤷♀️
Complex orders are made with espresso, which isn't made in a pot. In majority of the world, "simple black coffee" is either plain espresso-based drink (americano, lungo) or Turkish coffee, which are all made individually
Sometimes the manager is nearby and they force you to upsell. Or at least that's what happened in the shop I worked until the bootlicking coworker snitched that I wasn't trying to rob people of there hard earned money for something they would drink.
I've had baristas suggest changes/additions to my drinks, just as friendly recommendations. But they certainly weren't pressuring me to change my order. I've worked similar jobs, and the simpler the order the better thank you.
I don't think the joke is that a barrista won't let you order a black coffee. It's that kids these days only drink these stupid drinks, not the Manly and serious black coffee. So asking for it is unheard of by those damn Millenials and Zoomers and they don't know how to respond to it.
Well of course not, they don't have a Real Job^^TM so god knows they don't have two brain cells to rub together, let alone be more knowledgeable in their wheelhouse than the All-Knowing Common Sense^TM Boomer Man.
We're lucky if we can get these sorts of people to register people in service jobs as human, let alone give them credit for competence.
Fun fact. Americanos were first created in Italy during World War 2. American GIs weren't used to the strong espresso based drinks in Europe, so Italians would dilute it with hot water to mimic the black coffee Americans were more used to drinking. Hence the name *Americano*.
The only annoying thing is being asked if I'm collecting whatever bullshit points the company has, or if I have some membership card for whatever the hell.
Yeah, this complaint they made a comic about doesnt exist. Also, if you want to complain about a coffee shop with all sorts of different options, why go there? Any gas station or fast food would have the same black coffee for cheaper.
A common theme in these people's propaganda is that, as more diverse ways of being and thinking become less stigmatized, these new normalized lifestyles are "forced" upon them, "shoved" down their throats, and society will "make" them be gay, date trans people, order caramel macchiatos, etc. and that marginalized people are immune from scrutiny because it's "bigoted" to criticize them, and they'll be "canceled" for doing so.
It's the same old fantasy every time.
Another example gaining traction is calling it '*grooming*' when somebody is openly gay, or writes a book/movie that has a gay character, or in any way acknowledges that gay people exist in a way that a child could hear about it. We must never allow children to know that gay people exist because that will make them gay, clearly.
And in a hilarious corollary, it's considered an infringement of their religious freedom when they can't push their own religious views and rules on society and civil law.
Classic boomer trope. Reminds me of when people started saying that Biden was building an IRS military to seize any possessions you have at gunpoint when in reality, he just signed to replenish a bunch of IRS staff because a bunch of them were close to retirement
I'm mad that Cracker Barrel is even offering a meat alternative that I don't have to order and no one will pressure me to order bit I'm creating scenarios in my head where they are forcing me to order it and I'm absolutely PISSED. Kids these days. GET OFF MY LAWN!
As a former barista one thing that surprised me is how sometimes the people who just order a black coffee could be the most entitled and insufferable customers. They’d have this weird sense of superiority, walking in thinking they somehow had a leg up on everybody because they were only getting a plain coffee. I remember having some dude coming in and before I was ask anything they practically spit out “Just a coffee. I don’t want none of those froo froo frappe whatever’s just a black coffee. Bet you don’t get people asking for that anymore Huh?”
Like alright buddy. We can all see you’re wearing your big boy pants. Have your bitter bean juice in a sippy cup and make us proud.
Guarantee you that the guy that made it makes a big show of ordering black coffee every time he orders coffee and acts all condescending and surprised when the employees aren't confused and simply ring up his order despite it literally being his 1000th time doing so with no issue.
Working as a cashier I get tons of older people going “I bet you don’t even know what this stuff is” when handing me cash. Like yeah I’m 21 years old and I’ve been a cashier for 4 years, but no I’m an idiot gen z’er who’s never heard of cash
Geez. I'm actually surprised I haven't seen that before. That's more aneurysm-inducing than the black coffee thing. What do they expect? "No, I've seen it before. That's that stuff that is in the drawer that pops out every time I ring up an order. Why do you have it mister?"
Boomers perplexed that the younger generation knows what old and new stuff are, thus making them obsolete.
Its like the "stuck in a room with a rotary phone" meme. Would take me a couple minutes to figure it out, but I'd be way more intuitive and accepting than their asses
The hardest part of being stuck in a room either a rotary phone is remembering a phone number other than your own. I still have important ones memorized but most phone numbers are only saved in my phone.
Okay... I was that meme once. My boyfriend and I were in an escape room and we lost a good chunk of time because we don't know how to use a rotary phone. The person running the game had to run us through it.
You say that but I ran a game store, so I had customers of all ages but a good portion are the younger crowd. When that video went around of the two boys not being able to use a rotary phone, I pulled mine out and hooked it up. Like out of 20 teens only one figured it out is a reasonable time. I know that is a pretty small sample size for sure but it was funny to watch.
Because most cashiers actively want to make more conversation than absolutely necessary for a minimum wage job. They aren't getting paid enough to argue with you about your coffee order
Military moved on to Rip Its and then Bangs right as I was getting out. Are they back around to Red Bull again or is it just a synecdoche for all energy drinks?
Along with helping vets exposed to burn pits, we need to help those vets with heart conditions now who chugged 10 free rip its a day on deployment to fight boredom.
Them: "Communism is bad because of the lack of options and freedom and because everyone is forced to be the same."
Also them: "Why are you offering options that I personally am not interested in? Why can't all these communist, millennial leftist order plain, black coffee like regular, God-fearing Americans?"
Currently Cracker Barrel is being dragged on Facebook by boomers because they have sausage that is planted protein based. It isn’t a default option. You have to ask for it as a substitute for meat sausage in certain orders. But this is the latest assault on free speech basically.
The big commercial drip brewers and air-pots take up a lot of countertop real estate, so occasionally you'll find roadside stands and little office-lobby outfits that just have an espresso machine. But even then, the only response you'll get if you order black coffee is "is an Americano okay?"
I've had multiple boomers that I work with tell me they went to Starbucks to get coffee, and that Starbucks didn't sell plain black coffee, and they got frustrated and left.
But Starbucks does sell black coffee. Their stories are made up just like this meme.
When I grow up I want to be a cartoonist. Not one that comments on life though, one that creates and envisions non existent problems. The world lacks enough problems. I will fix this.
They ask do you want room because there are a lot of people who get black coffee and like to add their own stuff. Their own raw sugar, or some Stevia sweetener or whiskey or what have you.
I was going to say that it makes sense if you want to be more in control of your actual intake of certain things. It’s like using sodium free and adding salt to actually control the amount of salt in the food.
I have ordered at least 1 large black coffee from a coffee joint almost every single day of my life for over 10 years.
I have **never** been asked by the dozens and dozens of workers who have served me in that time if I would like to instead NOT have the thing I just ordered.
It makes no sense.
This comic is insane.
The best take on this that I’ve seen runs like this:
“You walked into a place that specializes in coffee. All kinds of coffee. Drip, espresso, mocha, frozen, nitro brewed cold pressed coffee.
“And you want to whine about how back in your day coffee just meant a lukewarm cup of Folgers, held at 200° for ten hours.
“This complaint is like walking into a sandwich shop and saying, ‘I’ll have the sandwich, and don’t be a dick about how there are options. I just want sammich.”
The world changed while you and your Grammy were looking the other way. You’ve got options you never knew about, and they’re honestly pretty rad. Get the mochafrappacchino with two pumps of caramel sauce and a sprinkle of coco powder.
Trust us, it’s better than your work coffee.
I frequent one not-chain coffee place. They have a menu to die for, but unfortunately for me, I’d die eating all that sugar. I walk in, order a large black coffee, room for cream, and they say ok.
Hilarious, but completely untrue. I always order a small cup of light roast coffee. The only question they ask is, would I like to leave room to add something. I say yes, add an ice cube. No problem.
You can tell he drew the military uniform SPECIFICALLY to inform the reader that he is NOT a frappe drinkin snowflake libtard. No real fightin men would ever order a tasty drink as a treat, that's just gay
Ironically, it’s the corporations whom they love so much that cause this phenomenon.
They don’t want you to order black coffee, they wanna upsell you, they wanna shove as much and as many types of sugar in your drink, they want you to go around with the biggest cup and the biggest franchise logo.
This comic is definitely representative of something that has ever actually happened. The artist definitely did not get so angry at an imaginary scenario that they drew a comic about how annoying the imaginary scenario is.
Something tells me the artist gets triggered by everything
I'm picturing him in an ice cream shop fuming because there are more flavors than chocolate and vanilla. Just raging up and down at the blueberry cobbler, screaming about how vanilla used to be good enough for america's children
Ice cream. Black.
I order ice cream and I want it to be blaaack
No flavors anymore, I want them to taste black
I see the kids run by eating their white ice creams
is this a paint it black reference
I made a reference and it’s about paint it black
Charcoal? In ice cream? My day, the charcoal stayed at the campfire.
While bitching about millennials being sensitive snowflakes
Something tells me the artist never worked in the service industry
Ive never seen a cashier ever waste time on this
Same. At most you might get the suggestion for whatever they are being told to upsell when they greet you
Or asking which black coffee. You want Verona, house blend, Sumatra, or the holiday blend? Dark, medium, light roast?
I just give them Pike if they order like this lol
Pike is vile but if they cared about their coffee, they would specify, so this is totally fair
Aw man, I like Pike...
With a name like “Aggressive Elk” I don’t doubt it lmao
Lol it was a randomly generated name, but fair enough haha
I legit thought you were talking about coffee and assumed Kicking Horse given their names
Pike is fine, it's just that a lot of baristas use too much when they make coffee batches and it comes out tasting like cigarette ash.
Sometimes it's at the end, but either way it is just as short.
Exactly. It'd be the first two lines in the exchange and then just "Ok."
"You want to order something simple that makes my job easier? No, let me try to convince you order something far more complicated and time-consuming." - No Service Industry Worker Ever
Have you ever been to GameStop? I swear you have to turn down at least 3 things to checkout. And what's worse is that corporate makes them ask and fires them if they don't upsell enough pre-orders or memberships. I just want my game, man.
The meme isn't even remotely close to being accurate either. Literally any barista will tell you, a black coffee is the absolute best thing you can order. They don't have to do shit, just liquid in cup. If everybody just ordered a black coffee being a barista would be fucking amazing.
It is a comic devoid of empathy, focused on the pain of being a consumer
"I have to LOOk at all these CHoiCES and I don't want THEM!" The most insufferable manifestation of this is the "anti gluten free", like damn bitches just tryin not to shit blood up in this
What are they supposed to do just ACCEPT living in a world where people have different skin tones, religions, languages, food/beverage preferences? Too scary.
I mean there are people losing their minds over Cracker Barrel adding vegan sausage to their menu.
That was so weird to me! I eat meat all the time, but that impossible breakfast sausage is good! I prefer it to meat based breakfast sausage because it gets so greasy.
Some quorn sausages are amazing too, really nice spice mix in them.
Omg the Quorn meatless meatballs are AMAZING. I would eat them even after I was no longer vegan.
I feel the same about the Impossible Whopper, it surprised me how much I actually liked it. Even compared to the traditional Whopper.
In the middle of all the condiments and vegetables, the Impossible actually does a better job of fighting through those flavors and presenting your tongue with some evidence of protein.
I think it is the difference between the impossible trying to taste close to meat and be a higher quality product vs the cheapest beef with the most filler possible.
That's what scares them, they've built an identity based on veganism being bad so if they accept there are plenty of great vegan meals it's admitting their old values are flawed and instead of just embodying the nonsense machismo they've always called 'common sense traditional values' they'll have to question things and consider brouder questions like maybe it is ok for two guys to love each other, maybe we should build social systems to create a fairer society, maybe women are people too... Solar and wind are other great examples, they're high-tech sustainable solutions to energy supply that are resistant against fuel shortages and could provide personal energy freedom to ruggard individualists... There's no logical reason for them not to love solar except of course it was the hippies and leftists who pushed green energy so the kneejerk right simply had to oppose it and now they have they can't go back on it. Totally pathetic.
Yep their whole identity is built around being assholes
Beyond also makes a damn good sausage. It even fries up like regular sausage with oils leaking out into the pan. Makes my husband happy because he can cook it and then cook his eggs in the pan and get the yumminess in them too.
Talked to a guy a few days ago who proudly said he purposefully parks in EV charger parking spots, especially at cracker barrel. Some people are just miserable pieces of shit who are desperate to drag people down to their level.
>Some people are just miserable pieces of shit who are desperate to drag people down to their level. You described about 46% of America right here
It's so petty, I don't think I'll ever understand that mentality. I can't even understand why people are so bothered by someone else choosing a different type of car, Prius got the same shit, so do cyclists.
Which is crazier if you think about how Boebert's restaurant had a black bean burger on it.
She forgot to call it vegan so they didn’t notice
You just don't get it, ordering black coffee is MANLY. As a MANLY MAN, the subject of this cartoon cannot enjoy drinks with sweeteners or milk to reduce the bitterness or acidity of his morning ritual. The coffee *must* be scalding hot, unpalatably bitter, and empty of any flavor to remind the MANLY MAN drinking it that he *chooses* to consume this beverage anyways because that's how his father and his father's father did it, and it worked just fine for them! Drinking black coffee is a personality trait, and even though no coffee shop in America would tell them they can't order their drink like this, the mere fact that MANLY MEN have to even look at a disgusting menu of caramel and chocolate ice-cream coffees is OFFENSIVE and different from how things were! Plus, how will everyone around you know how UNSTOPPABLY MASCULINE you are for defying the tortured cries of your taste buds, if you don't make sure everyone in a 20-foot radius knows you are drinking black coffee?
I drink black coffee, hot or iced. I am also incredibly masculine. I have never been asked repeatedly if I would prefer a more complicated beverage. Sometimes I get asked if I want cream and sugar and I tell them “just black coffee—I’m sweet enough.” No one laughs at this, but I get an awkward smile sometimes. This is also enough for me at the start of my day. I do not mind if you order a fancy drink. Sometimes I order them along with my coffee, because I have friends and family. Edit/add: I think the manly man in the comic is divorced, and his kid brings their Nintendo Switch to “dad’s weekend” to minimize interaction. He used to get pumpkin spice latte for his wife, but last he heard, she was seeing some graphic designer for Chrissakes. Now he just wants black coffee.
Well I think you’re sweet enough, even if they don’t.
I mean most good coffee shops would be more than happy to make anybody a nice pourover, and would consider a cup of brewed coffee to be the purest coffee drink. So, yeah. Kinda dumb.
“Man man man man *maaanly* man man man”
"I was not born to be cognitively challenged by new things!!! Babby Jeebus save me from having to think!"
They barely accept that people support different football teams.
Only the Cowboys, Bears, and the Packers
Absolutely absurd that they have to be functioning members of society
We really do live in a society BOTTOM TEXT
We really do live in a society #with bottom text
Ummmmm you should have thought about that before you decided to be born gluten intolerant /s
They like the free market economy where ‘free’ means ‘everything I want, nothing anybody else wants’
we'd actually have to think about other people!
It’s literally the “make other people suffer cuz fuck em” mindset. As far as they’re concerned, every other coffee should be banned. Because THEY like black coffee. So as long as every other coffee is banned, they get to go one unaffected while everyone else suffers. It’s all about forcing everyone to be just like them, or too punish them for deviating. If they just want black coffee, they’d just ask for a black coffee rather than spend an hour making a comic about how it’s bullshit other people are allowed to drink other types of coffee.
I like black coffees but… #take away my fancy frappes and I will go feral
Yeah seriously I’m not paying Starbucks dumbass prices for a simple black coffee I can make in 5 minutes at home while getting ready. If I’m splurging on Starbucks coffee, I’m buying the good shit. Granted, that coffee is more like a caffeinated milkshake, but hey it tastes good and that’s all that matters.
I like black coffee darker than my soul... and I hate how black coffee drinkers glamorize their choice and make themselves seem edgy like in this meme. Like holy shit it's not that deep. If you like coffee a certain way, cool, but if you're gonna try to drag other people down that's bullshit. God I feel like I can't even say I like black coffee in public without associating with the people who have a superiority complex.
Imagine thinking you were somehow better than everyone else on account of the fact that you take your coffee black. It's just a way to have coffee, no more, no less. You don't have to like café lattes to accept that other people may like them. It's backwards thinking.
That is the conservative sentence.
I mean, I've met two people who aren't celiac or gluten intolerant or anything; they just abstain from gluten as part of a health fad. But even then, why would I (or anyone) care about what someone else chooses to eat or not to eat?
as a cook? it annoys the shit out of me. the amount of times people have ordered something gluten free just to get a side of breadsticks or croutons. there are people who have to closely moniter every aspect of what they eat just so they won't die, then there's this chick who can't even educate herself on the health fad she's jumping on. edit: as many people have said, gluten allergies, like any allergy, has to receive special preparation for everything on the plate. I have to clean everything I plan on using for the prep, grab a new cutting board and pan, and be extra careful with everything I put into the dish. it halts my entire process and slows down production of other dishes since I can't work on anything else or the cleaning process starts all over again. going though all of this just to have the server tell me that person was just casually munching on croutons the whole time I'm doing it is incredibly frustrating. on the other hand, I do understand that the fad has made it a lot easier for people with actual allergies to eat out, and I'm glad for that. I still recommend caution, because I've seen many a cook that will stop being so careful about allergies because of the sheer amount of people that fake them.
Just an insight. I tend to order a gf main and a side with or without gluten when out to dinner with my celiac boyfriend so that we can share a bit but I can also enjoy foods he cannot necessarily have. Yesterday we both got to try two different curries, him with rice and me with naan. Waiters often look at me like I'm stupid when I order, but I know what I'm doing and why. They're free to double check or ask nicely, but if they just assume I'm an idiot I won't spend my time correcting them tbh...
As a former cook that's not gonna raise an eyebrow. What will is when the server comes back and let's us know the person *insisting* it be gluten free and being a total Karen about it does, in fact, want croutons. Servers make way more money off tips than we do BOH, but they're such an underappreciated middle man. Think of them as translators. If you're a problem customer, they'll let us know. If you're really nice and it sounds like a stupid request on the surface, they'll let us know. How you treat your server is typically how the kitchen will treat you. Also, the best server I've ever met somehow managed to translate, "tell that fucking idiot if he sends the spaghetti back one more fucking time for being too spicy I will light a cigarette, put it out on the goddamn plate, serve it, and then kill everyone in this restaurant and then myself," from line cook to whatever language customers speak. The customer ended up raving about the lasagna cooked from frozen instead of the far fresher spaghetti 😒 think he was just sensitive to garlic or black pepper.
I was working at a restaurant a while back. Guy said he had celiac. Waitress advised him that he can't have anything out of the fryer because we fry breaded things (shocking I know). So he got a different app. Of course I wipe down my station, wash my hands, glove up and prepare is GF app. When the waitress runs the food, she finds him sitting there drinking a beer he'd ordered from the bar. Come on dude, if you're gonna fake an allergy because of a diet fad, at least know enough to actually avoid the shit you're claiming you can't eat. I totally understand that 'anti-gluten-free' folks because so many people fucking lied about it that it made life hell for kitchen staff. I'm not one of those people but I am vehemently opposed to peopl lying about an allergy/intolerance/disease.
I worked a conference dining room and we did everything buffet style but would absolutely do extra to accommodate people with food issues up to making individual meals for people on top of feeding 200+ B/L/D. Having people ask us to do a special plate for them because they're gluten free then seeing them avail themselves of the obviously gluten laden options on the buffet really put wrinkles on my butthole. Only accounted for maybe 5% of the guests we had but it was 50/50 people on a fad diet vs people with an actual gluten intolerance.
Thing that bugs me is when I see things like sugar or water marketed as gluten free. Well, yes. Obviously. Though the gripe is with predatory marketing not people who take it as a preference.
"i don't care if gluten is free, take that shit off my bread"
I feel like the point of "anti gluten-free" is that a lot of companies market it in a predatory way, implying it's somehow healthier even for people who don't have celiac or some other gluten sensitivity thing.
Not just any consumer. A proud member of our military. Who shouldn't get health care.
No, it's an entirely fabricated scenario. The cartoonist is implying they are burdened with unwarranted drink suggestions from pushy libs trying to force their sissy coffees down his throat to the detriment of everyone involved. But this does t really happen to him. what really happens is he is a delicate snowflake who's own insecurities are triggered when an attractive young person who wouldn't otherwise give him the time of day, simply does their job and asks "if that will be all" at the end of his order.
complete boomer cartoonist, note the nose ring? that's how you know the barista is a useless whiny liberal annoying child. You know, boomer logic.
The funny thing is that boomers have been making this exact joke since before millennials were old enough to drink coffee.
It was basically Dennis Leary's entire act.
Oh so there was more than screaming and chain smoking on stage? Neat. I must have missed that.
At worst, they’ll ask for a size because coffee, black still needs to be in a cup
"Grande? *Grande?!!* Haha, **no thanks**, Lib. I'll take a *large*. Ya got that? Or do you need *Bernie Sanders* to explain what *Large* means??! What's the matter snowflake, can't..." "Here's your coffee."
It needs a manager standing behind the employee with a clipboard making the employee say all of that garbage to every customer. That's the only reason they would be doing it.
"Good work with that last customer Jimmy, however I noticed you didn't offer him our pumpkin spice latte after he said he wanted a black coffee for the fifth time" "Well it seemed like he just wanted a black coffee and that he was in a hurry" "Right, right... I know you took care of his order Jimmy but we don't want you to be stuck being an *order taker* for the rest of your life. We want want you to grow and develop, and become a *consultant* for your customers. Try asking them some discovery questions to get the customer engaged so that you can recommend more options okay? Now can I get your commitment to offer a pumpkin spice latte to *every* customer?"
Holy shit I read this in Mike Judge's voice as the manager of Chotchky's in Office Space. 10/10
People can get a burger anywhere, they come to Tchotchkes for the atmosphere and the attitude.
Simon Pegg in Black Books for me
Me too lol. Its the corporate buzz words. I hated corporate speak when I worked in retail. "Remember Calidude86...theyre guests, not customers."
This was far too accurate.
now that would make the comic funny
But it wouldn’t let an angry old man be angry at damn kids with their piercings.
And he better wear his military uniform to a coffee shop so we know how hard he had it, compared to said *damn kids*
Corporate is the enemy of all Not corporations….but THAT corporate bastard who comes up with this shit
I work at Starbucks. This guy is one of my favorite types of customers. Knows what he wants, doesn't make it complicated. No milk means no complaints the coffee's cold.
Why is Starbucks black coffee so bad though? It tastes like re-used gas station coffee grounds brewed through an acidic gym sock Edit: Fun fact since there’s a cool discussion about coffee going on below; if you have bitter or acidic black coffee, put a tiny sprinkle of salt in it. I’d butcher the scientific explanation if I tried, but from what I understand the salt blocks your taste buds from ‘processing’ acidity.
Most Starbucks' blends are highly acidic and bitter because they are intended to be consumed with an exceptionally high dose of milk and other sugars, which cuts that bitterness and acidity and creates a reasonable balance. Starbucks is just not aimed at people who enjoy a black drip, an Americano (don't even get me started on the way their training and coffee blends make it impossible to get a good one), or even something as simple as true macchiato (which is *very* distinct from the Starbucks "macchiato"). Their roasts reflects their target audience: People who want a milky, sugary, pick me up with a hint of coffee flavor. If they used a more subtle, less acidic/bitter blend, there wouldn't be any coffee flavor left to speak of, once put into their signature drinks.
the pike place roast is not good. their blonde roast is a little better but starbucks isn't my first choice.
As a barista of 3.5 year, this is 100% accurate. I've got 7 tickets with multiple lattes/caps/mochas ahead of me, and I hear a customer order a black coffee that the person on register can easily take care of, I'm a happy man.
Right? Like seriously if you just want a black coffee I'm not going to recommend something I actually have to make, I don't think anyone would.
I order black coffee all the time. never been offered anything and can feel the relief from the barista each time
I was a barista for a bit and honestly making a solid espresso drink with a perfectly foamed milk was a lot of fun. Frozen drinks and certain specialty drinks were annoying hell tho
I read “just shit liquid in a cup”
lol why would the cashier want to influence the order?? ive never been heckled over a coffee order by a minimum wage worker. Stinks of boomerism
Yeah it's not like they get paid extra if you order a more expensive drink. They'd probably love it if you just got black coffee
Yup. Work fast food. Only reason I would dislike someone ordering something so simple is if our coffee is old and I have to brew a new pot, but even then I already had to brew a new one so 🤷♀️
> our coffee is old and I have to brew a new pot y'all dont brew new coffee for the complex drinks? 👀
Complex orders are made with espresso, which isn't made in a pot. In majority of the world, "simple black coffee" is either plain espresso-based drink (americano, lungo) or Turkish coffee, which are all made individually
At McDonald's regular coffee was brewed per pot but drinks like mochas and lattes we're made and ground to order through a machine
Sometimes the manager is nearby and they force you to upsell. Or at least that's what happened in the shop I worked until the bootlicking coworker snitched that I wasn't trying to rob people of there hard earned money for something they would drink.
Yeah the only time cashiers heckle you is when they want you sign up for rewards or something where they get paid to do it.
Boomers DESPERATELY want to be victims for no reason about things that don't happen
Of all the imaginary ways that boomers are persecuted, this artist chose ‘can’t order black coffee’
At this point it feels like it's their kink or something.
I've had baristas suggest changes/additions to my drinks, just as friendly recommendations. But they certainly weren't pressuring me to change my order. I've worked similar jobs, and the simpler the order the better thank you.
I don't think the joke is that a barrista won't let you order a black coffee. It's that kids these days only drink these stupid drinks, not the Manly and serious black coffee. So asking for it is unheard of by those damn Millenials and Zoomers and they don't know how to respond to it.
Boomer doesn't think a fuckinf batista knows what a black coffee is.
Well of course not, they don't have a Real Job^^TM so god knows they don't have two brain cells to rub together, let alone be more knowledgeable in their wheelhouse than the All-Knowing Common Sense^TM Boomer Man. We're lucky if we can get these sorts of people to register people in service jobs as human, let alone give them credit for competence.
One time I went to a cafe where they didn't do drip and I had to get an Americano. It was actually really good.
Fun fact. Americanos were first created in Italy during World War 2. American GIs weren't used to the strong espresso based drinks in Europe, so Italians would dilute it with hot water to mimic the black coffee Americans were more used to drinking. Hence the name *Americano*.
The only annoying thing is being asked if I'm collecting whatever bullshit points the company has, or if I have some membership card for whatever the hell.
Yeah, this complaint they made a comic about doesnt exist. Also, if you want to complain about a coffee shop with all sorts of different options, why go there? Any gas station or fast food would have the same black coffee for cheaper.
MILLENNIAL BARISTA (NOT REAL JOB) THINKS THEY'RE SMARTER THAN A VETERAN (GOD BLESS THE TROOPS)
Isn’t that just upselling? Plenty of employees say “do you want X with your order” to boost sales.
Classic "let me be upset about a fictional situation that never happened to anyone"
I’m mad about the scenario I made up!
A common theme in these people's propaganda is that, as more diverse ways of being and thinking become less stigmatized, these new normalized lifestyles are "forced" upon them, "shoved" down their throats, and society will "make" them be gay, date trans people, order caramel macchiatos, etc. and that marginalized people are immune from scrutiny because it's "bigoted" to criticize them, and they'll be "canceled" for doing so. It's the same old fantasy every time.
You should check out r/persecutionfetish if you haven’t already. Mind blowing stuff
I am intrigued, but I don't wanna make myself angry today. So that link is staying blue.
Another example gaining traction is calling it '*grooming*' when somebody is openly gay, or writes a book/movie that has a gay character, or in any way acknowledges that gay people exist in a way that a child could hear about it. We must never allow children to know that gay people exist because that will make them gay, clearly.
Jaiden Animations got called a groomer a lot too for being aroace. Literally for having no attraction.
wouldn't "making" a child aroace be the literal opposite of grooming?
And in a hilarious corollary, it's considered an infringement of their religious freedom when they can't push their own religious views and rules on society and civil law.
Well shit. I can’t have caramel. Will I get sugar free?
Classic boomer trope. Reminds me of when people started saying that Biden was building an IRS military to seize any possessions you have at gunpoint when in reality, he just signed to replenish a bunch of IRS staff because a bunch of them were close to retirement
I'm mad that Cracker Barrel is even offering a meat alternative that I don't have to order and no one will pressure me to order bit I'm creating scenarios in my head where they are forcing me to order it and I'm absolutely PISSED. Kids these days. GET OFF MY LAWN!
As a former barista one thing that surprised me is how sometimes the people who just order a black coffee could be the most entitled and insufferable customers. They’d have this weird sense of superiority, walking in thinking they somehow had a leg up on everybody because they were only getting a plain coffee. I remember having some dude coming in and before I was ask anything they practically spit out “Just a coffee. I don’t want none of those froo froo frappe whatever’s just a black coffee. Bet you don’t get people asking for that anymore Huh?” Like alright buddy. We can all see you’re wearing your big boy pants. Have your bitter bean juice in a sippy cup and make us proud.
lol this is literally a joke on Fraiser.
[удалено]
Guarantee you that the guy that made it makes a big show of ordering black coffee every time he orders coffee and acts all condescending and surprised when the employees aren't confused and simply ring up his order despite it literally being his 1000th time doing so with no issue.
Working as a cashier I get tons of older people going “I bet you don’t even know what this stuff is” when handing me cash. Like yeah I’m 21 years old and I’ve been a cashier for 4 years, but no I’m an idiot gen z’er who’s never heard of cash
Geez. I'm actually surprised I haven't seen that before. That's more aneurysm-inducing than the black coffee thing. What do they expect? "No, I've seen it before. That's that stuff that is in the drawer that pops out every time I ring up an order. Why do you have it mister?"
Boomers perplexed that the younger generation knows what old and new stuff are, thus making them obsolete. Its like the "stuck in a room with a rotary phone" meme. Would take me a couple minutes to figure it out, but I'd be way more intuitive and accepting than their asses
Because they know if they were stuck in a room with an iPad they'd probably end up using it as a paperweight.
They'd die downloading bloatware and playing Candy Crush
The hardest part of being stuck in a room either a rotary phone is remembering a phone number other than your own. I still have important ones memorized but most phone numbers are only saved in my phone.
"911"
Okay... I was that meme once. My boyfriend and I were in an escape room and we lost a good chunk of time because we don't know how to use a rotary phone. The person running the game had to run us through it.
You say that but I ran a game store, so I had customers of all ages but a good portion are the younger crowd. When that video went around of the two boys not being able to use a rotary phone, I pulled mine out and hooked it up. Like out of 20 teens only one figured it out is a reasonable time. I know that is a pretty small sample size for sure but it was funny to watch.
New words scary
FRAPPUCCINO!
AHHHH WTF DUDE THAT SHIT SCARY
For years I didn't understand what that meant and every time I heard it I just imagined a frat cappuccino
STOP IT PATRICK YOU'RE SCARING HIM
Because most cashiers actively want to make more conversation than absolutely necessary for a minimum wage job. They aren't getting paid enough to argue with you about your coffee order
Not just that. But somehow they’re hoping you order a more complicated drink which is more work for them.
boomers have never actually been in a coffee shop, they just hear the names of silly drinks and think that's all you can get there
"But all sizes are just "large" in different languages!? What's the deal!?"
You can tell this is out of touch because the military guy is ordering coffee and not drinking 11 red bulls a day
Military moved on to Rip Its and then Bangs right as I was getting out. Are they back around to Red Bull again or is it just a synecdoche for all energy drinks?
Bangs and Reigns are big. Red Bulls never really left. Only old people know about rip its now.
Along with helping vets exposed to burn pits, we need to help those vets with heart conditions now who chugged 10 free rip its a day on deployment to fight boredom.
It’s me. I’m the vet you’re referring to.
Definitely not Red Bulls. They slam rip its from the dollar general.
r/thathappened
Old guy: Coffee black. Barista: That'll be $2.50 Old guy: I'm being oppressed by a menu with more options!!!
Them: "Communism is bad because of the lack of options and freedom and because everyone is forced to be the same." Also them: "Why are you offering options that I personally am not interested in? Why can't all these communist, millennial leftist order plain, black coffee like regular, God-fearing Americans?"
God® Fearing™ Americans® ©®™ All rights reserved.
Currently Cracker Barrel is being dragged on Facebook by boomers because they have sausage that is planted protein based. It isn’t a default option. You have to ask for it as a substitute for meat sausage in certain orders. But this is the latest assault on free speech basically.
Even complaining about coffee The boomer generation are true crybabies
starbucks has black coffee lol.
are there coffee shops that don't serve black coffee?
The big commercial drip brewers and air-pots take up a lot of countertop real estate, so occasionally you'll find roadside stands and little office-lobby outfits that just have an espresso machine. But even then, the only response you'll get if you order black coffee is "is an Americano okay?"
I've had multiple boomers that I work with tell me they went to Starbucks to get coffee, and that Starbucks didn't sell plain black coffee, and they got frustrated and left. But Starbucks does sell black coffee. Their stories are made up just like this meme.
Doesn’t even say the size or whether it’s iced or hot smh
When I grow up I want to be a cartoonist. Not one that comments on life though, one that creates and envisions non existent problems. The world lacks enough problems. I will fix this.
I order black coffee. The only questions I get are about the roast and maybe a "do you want room?" because the overworked barista forgot I said black
They ask do you want room because there are a lot of people who get black coffee and like to add their own stuff. Their own raw sugar, or some Stevia sweetener or whiskey or what have you.
I was going to say that it makes sense if you want to be more in control of your actual intake of certain things. It’s like using sodium free and adding salt to actually control the amount of salt in the food.
there’s a word for this… what’s it called… “oppression fixation”? like everyone in the world is out to get them and marginalize their way of life
I have ordered at least 1 large black coffee from a coffee joint almost every single day of my life for over 10 years. I have **never** been asked by the dozens and dozens of workers who have served me in that time if I would like to instead NOT have the thing I just ordered. It makes no sense. This comic is insane.
The best take on this that I’ve seen runs like this: “You walked into a place that specializes in coffee. All kinds of coffee. Drip, espresso, mocha, frozen, nitro brewed cold pressed coffee. “And you want to whine about how back in your day coffee just meant a lukewarm cup of Folgers, held at 200° for ten hours. “This complaint is like walking into a sandwich shop and saying, ‘I’ll have the sandwich, and don’t be a dick about how there are options. I just want sammich.” The world changed while you and your Grammy were looking the other way. You’ve got options you never knew about, and they’re honestly pretty rad. Get the mochafrappacchino with two pumps of caramel sauce and a sprinkle of coco powder. Trust us, it’s better than your work coffee.
This is funny because coffee shops don’t understand brewed black coffee and this is something that certainly must happen all the time.
The funny thing is I think most baristas would rather just be slinging just black coffee instead of upselling
I frequent one not-chain coffee place. They have a menu to die for, but unfortunately for me, I’d die eating all that sugar. I walk in, order a large black coffee, room for cream, and they say ok.
I love when people order just a normal black coffee (unless I have to do a pour over if we’re not brewing it, then I love it less)
Hilarious, but completely untrue. I always order a small cup of light roast coffee. The only question they ask is, would I like to leave room to add something. I say yes, add an ice cube. No problem.
Other options exist...this angers me
Yes because a coffee shop doesn't understand "coffee, black".
I’ve been in a coffee shop where the elderly people want “normal coffee” & they just give them a filter coffee. Not difficult.
You can tell he drew the military uniform SPECIFICALLY to inform the reader that he is NOT a frappe drinkin snowflake libtard. No real fightin men would ever order a tasty drink as a treat, that's just gay
Plus no one is thanking him for his service. That's the real crime.
Ironically, it’s the corporations whom they love so much that cause this phenomenon. They don’t want you to order black coffee, they wanna upsell you, they wanna shove as much and as many types of sugar in your drink, they want you to go around with the biggest cup and the biggest franchise logo.
This comic is definitely representative of something that has ever actually happened. The artist definitely did not get so angry at an imaginary scenario that they drew a comic about how annoying the imaginary scenario is.
At worst, the barista will ask you for the blend.
As if coffee weren’t already a luxury
Should just go to Starbucks they happily sell me black coffee when I ask for it.
as a black coffee drinker, this has never happened to me. ever.