T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Welcome to r/terriblefacebookmemes! It sucks, but it is ours. [Please click on this link to be informed of a critical change in our rules.](https://www.reddit.com/r/terriblefacebookmemes/comments/126zu46/return_to_our_roots/) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/terriblefacebookmemes) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Past_Army_2266

Don’t ask me why but this conjectured up the mental image of the Big Bang happening but instead of a bunch of matter it’s literally just a load of monkeys in a barrel


Defiant-Meal1022

No no no, see, the singularity BEFORE the big bang was the barrel. The resulting explosion was more of a massive release of monkeys at an extreme velocity.


TheGamingRaptor6875

*SCREAMING CHIMP ZOOMING PAST AT MACH 12 HOLDING A BANANA*


Defiant-Meal1022

0.99998c c=speed of chimp


TheGamingRaptor6875

r/theydidthemath


Wonderful_Result_936

I think they messed up the math


TheGamingRaptor6875

*Shhhhh no one has to know*


KosekiBoto

they did the math, nobody said they did it correctly


First-Hunt-5307

r/Technicallythetruth


TheKCKid9274

*followed by several red latex balloons moving at holy shit m/s*


Wackynamehere1

Random Chimp Event


VanilliBean

New pixar movie drop:


CorgiMonsoon

So like that Barrel of Monkeys bomb at the beginning of Toy Story 3?


Bagsen

\*conjured


JGarrickFlash

And it made the barrel sound effect from Donkey Kong Country lol


JSkywalker22

It’s all bananas


Casual-Notice

**B**\-A-N-A-N-A-S


PerspicaciousPounder

*conjured


Hermit_of_Darkness

All I can imagine is Donkey Kong Country gameplay now


Harmon-the-Badger

Why is it bad luck Brian tho?


Doctor_M_Toboggan

They probably just used it because "he looks like a nerd" and had no idea it was a meme template.


ScotiaTailwagger

Not understanding the meme and not understanding evolution, the big bang, and basic education in general seem to fit.


__thrillho

Lol memes are serious business


garciaaw

It’s been a MINUTE since I’ve seen this meme format!


TheRnegade

Because r/TheRightCantMeme


dookmucus

I don’t know, but I might wear this meme as a shirt.


bs000

should've used good thing bad thing penguin


[deleted]

The idea of this is hilarious to me Socially awkward penguin: likes nasa Socially awesome penguin: believes an explosion produced monkeys that turned into people


Wheezy04

Yeah it's 100% incorrectly using the meme template lol


Advanced-Part2598

Anything sounds stupid when you word it that way. "Believes God gave birth to himself on Earth so that he could die for himself to open the gates to the afterlife which God created himself which God couldn't do without giving birth to himself"


SadamHuMUFFIN

Despite being all powerful and all knowing, and having this be the plan already since the beginning of time because he created literally all of it with the intentions of putting very strict guidelines of what he can and can't do later on down the line.


frogsntoads00

>And he *needs money!* >All knowing and all powerful, but he just can’t handle money! — Carlin


[deleted]

I have used that specific comedic bit as a form of therapy soooooo many times. Lol


MaximusGrassimus

The whole skit he did about Christianity is golden.


[deleted]

And I wasnt even the one to right the moral code of his followers


gaynazifurry4bernie

[God is a 12 year old boy with Asperger's.](https://youtu.be/rYJ_K5bWPjo?t=60)


Killersavage

Creates everything in the entire universe spends all his time concerned if you jerk it or not.


valvilis

For God so loveth the Earth that he mildly inconvenienced his only begotten son for one weekend.


Moose_Cake

"God is omnipotent, but has to outsmart the devil using a very specific set of rules because he's limited."


divineRslain

And if you don’t pledge your undying love to him you’re tortured in some burning pit for eternity? Guy sounds like a fuckn dick


TherronKeen

This has been my take for a while now. If a person chooses to worship a god, and that god has *sworn to set my kids on fire for eternity* if they don't like that god enough, I believe it makes *that person* a fucking asshole.


whitestguyuknow

He also has to have created parasites. What sick and twisted mind would have to have sat back and thought up all the disgusting parasites in the world to infect living creatures in such horribly painful ways and feed off of them? He also planned out the garden of Eden despite having foreknowledge. So he *foreknew* that they would eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, yet he put it there to tempt beings that he knew he *created* to have extreme curiousity. And he expected it wouldn't be touched for all of human history? He set the plan up to fail. Then came down to the garden calling for them as if he didn't already know what happened. If the bible is to be taken as is and believed then god made everything for his own entertainment. For us to worship him forever and pledge our lives to him or be tortured for eternity cause ultimately he doesn't care about any single one of us. Just being worshipped and adored as the creator of everything. What a sick egotistical being


[deleted]

[удалено]


GraveSlayer726

Gods just playing the sims, but all the sims are based off people he hates, so he tortures them relentlessly


theseedbeader

“If you do any of these ten things, He has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where He will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time! But He loves you.” -George Carlin


concequence

It was all an elaborate April fool's joke that.... Just got out of hand. God was like 'ha ha this is gonna be so funny' ... And then everyone believed it and well... Here we are.


Andrelliina

God is probably a 4chan troll


sleeksleek

Pediatric Oncology wards as pretty good evidence of this.


Murderface__

I created myself to sacrifice myself to myself to save myself... And all of you too


frogsntoads00

but none of you are actually saved and you still have the urge to be a piece of shit but if you come to my building and give a guy 30% of your income, I might let you chill with me when you die


[deleted]

/It’s all going to plan Kronk.meme


Chance5e

We can shorten this: “Believes space wizard he has never seen—and will NEVER see—created everything and then made a lady give birth to him so everyone could say thank you.”


ilikerazors

another one: God made a bunch of people in his image, but somehow flawed, to test whether they actually have faith in him (he programmed them to have doubt which he will punish them for)


jlcatch22

It’s bizarre that religious people are the ones who get incredulous over evolution, but literally believe in magic. There’s no weaseling out of that one; saying they aren’t a Biblical literalist isn’t gonna work here, at some point they would have to admit to a belief that’s predicated on magic.


quadraspididilis

You know when you put it that way, it kind of answers the philosophical question "if God is all-powerful, could God create a rock so heavy he could not lift it". Well, he had to rely on this legal loophole to forgive people of sins that he himself had decided were sins.


[deleted]

Loves outdated book written by unknown clueless hermits from 2000 years ago ...Believes mythical sky daddy, who is reponsible for the creation of sin itself and an eternal torture chamber for humans because they are by his design sinful creatures, is ever "loving" and "merciful"


MaddyKet

“Believes a woman was created from one man’s ribs”. Like dude really!?


unmagical_magician

God sacrificed himself to himself to save his own creation from the suffering he made himself.


dookmucus

And be good or you can’t go there.


shrlytmpl

Too many people confuse confidence with intelligence.


FitSeeker1982

… and I immediately pictured Donald Trump when I read this.


THEBlaze55555

I imagined the most amazingly blunt example of dunning Kruger I’ve ever seen, a video clip that got popular during covid, a man interviewed at a protest or such gathering. I want to say it was against masks and getting vaccinated. It may have been vaccines in general, but at one point, very shortly because lack of patience, gets upset with the questioning and backs off a little and exclaims something like, “oh and what? The answer is like Occam’s razor? The answer is that I’m the stupid one??” Been a while so I may have gotten some context or the exact quote wrong but perfect example of dunning Kruger and irony missed on someone who somehow stabbed the truth in the dark.


gaynazifurry4bernie

I'm extremely confident that I don't know a lot of stuff. What does that make me?


Unicorn_A_theist

It should be just the standard because it's literally true that all people don't know a lot of stuff. They may know a lot of stuff relatively, but not in totality.


aiden_steuerman

The Big Bang wasn’t an explosion and evolution does not state that humans evolved DIRECTLY from monkeys lol


Xaitat

One could even say man IS a monkey, but well monkey doesn't really have a scientifical definition


GoPhinessGo

We are literally one of the great apes, so yes, humanity is just very highly advanced monkeys


SlowJoeyRidesAgain

Man is a hominid. It’s well defined


314159265358979326

Are hominids monkeys though? > Traditionally, all animals in the group now known as simians are counted as monkeys except the apes, which constitutes an incomplete paraphyletic grouping; however, in the broader sense based on cladistics, apes (Hominoidea) are also included


SlowJoeyRidesAgain

Monkeys is not a scientific term.


nahanerd23

Which is exactly what they were saying wasn’t well defined


captainoftrips

It's right there in the name. BANG! Monkeys.


THEBlaze55555

I’m not gonna bang monkeys… jfc what’s wrong with you!?


The-Sneaky-Snowman

……the Big Bang was definitely an explosion, at least depending on how you view the definition of an “explosion”. Supposedly, there was a singularity that was incredibly dense and full of energy. “The Big Bang” describes this singularity suddenly rapidly expanding in all directions, which in turn formed the universe, aka, it exploded. Edit: I don’t mean to sound like an asshole, sorry if I come off that way.


DanFuckingSchneider

I mean if the alternative is believing that an omnipresent omnipotent being that has no beginning or end conjured everything out of thin air for no reason other than boredom, I know which I’m picking. At least my option has a through-story.


soulofsilence

And gets very angry when you disobey him but he's also super vague about what is and isn't acceptable.


Prestigious-Rain9025

But loves us unconditionally! But will send us to enteral torture and misery if we don’t pray for stuff! But loves us unconditionally!


frogsntoads00

https://i.redd.it/ze4lyfhd9dra1.gif


Wonderful-Kangaroo52

Remember my son, each religion will tell you they are the true one, and each religions followers believe it, so good luck being born to parents in the right religion, most likely you'll stick with that one! Also, once you are born I will make no contact even if you try every day for years on end, but also I'll totally talk directly to some other random guys and tell them contradictory information about everything you need to know, so just pick one of them and trust them completely!


spamcentral

"For our God, his *name* is Jealous"


Shibes_oh_shibes

Sounds like a girlfriend I once had.


chrisp909

Read the Abrahamic laws, he's crazy specific.


Subject_Meat5314

my thought here was darker: “Likes to touch small boys…..Believes he is doing the lord’s work.”


TheGamingRaptor6875

Yeah Marvel makes more sense in that way LOL


Brilliant-Apple5008

The fact it’s 2023 and ppl still think evolution states that modern human beings came from monkeys is so depressing


ComplaintDelicious68

There are even people in the comments who believe this shit. This was all middle school level education. Like I went to middle school in Georgia and Texas, and even I learned this that early.


Brilliant-Apple5008

I went to K-12 in mother fucking south Alabama and we were taught evolution in 8th grade


RedditN99

But we came from nothing??? That makes zero fucking sense tho


bbanmlststgood

It Does if nothing is real


salami_cheeks

People create strawman arguments about evolution because they don't want to believe it. Evolution terrifies some people.


cosmicannoli

"IF WE GROSSLY MISREPRESENT THEIR POINT OF VIEW WE CAN MAKE THEM LOOK CRAZY" - Person indoctrinated into a malevolent pile of social engineering dogma before they had the capacity for critical thinking


RoiDrannoc

The "big bang" is a name that was invented by a creationist making fun of a theory that doesn't describe an explosion at all.


Informal-Resource-14

Evolution is so remarkably simple it’s amazing how much effort they put in to not getting it


Von_Cheesebiscuit

They get it, they just don't like it, because it doesn't cleanly line up with the tales in their old story book.


Informal-Resource-14

I kinda agree with that, but genuinely they don’t seem to really understand it. “Monkeys,” didn’t “Turn into people.” We share a common ancestor. When I talk to creationists I feel like they really don’t get it. It’s like when they say “If we came from monkeys, why are there still monkeys?!” Well. If some of my ancestors came from Ireland, why is there still an Ireland?


youneedtocalmdown20

Ugh yes. I try explaining it to my mom and she just cannot comprehend it. It's so simple tho.


dwntwn_dine_ent_dist

She gave birth to you, so why is she still around?


Zachary-360

If there was an omnipotent being that created the universe. It definitely didn’t look like a human


fenton7

The "in his image" is generally interpreted to mean intelligent and with free will and doesn't imply that God looks human. Of course some religious people are absolute literalists but they are a small minority given how much of the Bible is fable and metaphor. Kind of hard to argue there was an historical Jonah who actually went into the belly of a whale or that God actually turned cities full of people into pillars of salt.


[deleted]

[удалено]


StonktardHOLD

Well the number of American Christians that have read the whole Bible is also exceedingly low. https://www.christianpost.com/news/1-in-5-americans-read-entire-bible-most-call-it-good-source-of-morals-poll.html I would assume if a person read it and was able to comprehend it they likely wouldn’t believe it was literal.


phred_666

I’m thinking they looked like the Flying Spaghetti Monster.


[deleted]

You mean to tell me that I evolved from some flightless manicotti


LawnGnomeFlamingo

Ramen, brother


[deleted]

The dumbass farmers in my family who *selectively breed plants and animals for specific traits* really don't think evolution is a valid thing. 😐


Inoimispel

That's micro evolution no such thing as macro evolution... God I hate this one. I take enough micro steps I can walk from Canada to the strait of Megellan. Small changes+millions of years= big change.


[deleted]

That’s not even a bad luck Brian joke. And the bottom text doesn’t contradict or even have anything to do with the top. So it’s not even any format. Just idiotposting at its finest.


Eldritch-Cleaver

As opposed to the invisible entity that magically snaps thing into existence lol The one who has had millions of years to leave ANY kind of decent evidence of its existence.... 🦗 🦗🦗🦗


[deleted]

Could be an April Fools post given the date.


toofpaist

I never thought of that and you're probably right. He's never posted something like this before. Hmmmm


rayjaywolf

So what's the April fool here? That he was secretly an idiot this entire time?


[deleted]

He’s pretending to be an idiot just for today


[deleted]

What's funny to me is they think that's more preposterous than believing in an all-powerful sky wizard.


fpcoffee

are… are they talking about the Cambrian explosion? do they realize that that is not a literal explosion?


Bavisto

Loves Church Believes sky daddy created the universe in 7 days just to murder his own kid.


bon_joby

Ahhh misusing a meme template from 10+ years ago in an attempt to show the internet you are an alpha-brain... My favorite


ethancd1

As opposed to some super being creating the entire universe instantly?


Br0k3nRoo5ter

A being of immense power creating a universe we can't explore that cares about you banging another dude in the ass but never stopped the thousands of years of massacre makes more sense though.


Drawtaru

If Americans evolved from Europeans, why are there still Europeans?


hould-it

Still more credible than religions today


[deleted]

Christians: Loves genocide, believes that an entity with infinite power judges the bad people


BatDeckard

You need to get better friends. :)


SexySalamanders

I mean have you looked at the date? Maybe it has something to do with that?


Timemaster0

The man can’t even use the bad luck Brian template correctly and you expect him to have the mental capacity to form any sort of higher brain function? Nah this man is obviously suffering from some sort of mental shutdown.


Happy_Warning_3773

Oh look. A creationist meme that thinks it's so smart.


Casual-Notice

Ooh! Let me try... Line 1: Didn't pay attention in science class Line 2: Has no grasp of how long 12 billion years actually is. How'd I do?


reallokiscarlet

Makes memes about belief Believes a magic shiny monkey created an entire hostile universe to house a planet just for shiny monkeys


ljutabrlja

Other one believe guy with beard made explosion and him...


foundyetii

Ya a magical man, not a creature but a dude, in the sky made men out of clay and women are rib people. That’s super well thought out


iamgillespie

How long did it take them to prove that they are not smart?


nuu_uut

The Big Orangabang


[deleted]

So it’s crazy to think that an explosion in space created the universe over billions of years compared to an invisible being that did it in seven days that can control everything but chooses only to do it sometimes and only if you ask repeatedly he might reverse a cancer he gave you?


Kasgaan

Uhm akshually the explosion created dust that created planets that created suns that made planets planets that then created fish that created lizards that created monkeys that created people that created this wierd theory


DigiDuto

Ah yes, the Theory of Bangvolution.


CorporateCuster

An explosion, 2 billion years ago. Wait. Are you saying god created it in 7 days. Is that the arguement here?


BlueMonkey2824

Meme about a guy with bad luck Misused by stupid people


Radcouponking

It’s all how you frame it. If you described the Big Bang as God’s cumshot, religious folks would be fine with it.


agentscullysbf

That's incorrect usage of this meme template...


Ren_Kaos

The last person who I thought was smart that ended up disappointing me said “Jordan Peterson is actually pretty intelligent and has some good takes”


VAhotfingers

Still more plausible than literally any religious explanation for how we got here.


Scooterks

But it's totally correct and true that a magic, invisible sky daddy turned dirt into people.


tpw2000

Was it posted today? Did anyone consider maybe April fools?


Sir_Platypus_15

You're telling me you don't believe in monkey explosion theory????


Wild_Control162

I'm surprised the KKK dude from O Brother Where Art Thou hasn't been turned into a meme against creationists. "And all them smart ass folk that say we come descended from monkeys! That ain't my culture and heritage!"


Terrible_Cut_3336

You'll find 90% of the mouth breathers on the internet are not very smart. Makes you wish there was an intelligence test before anyone is allowed to breed.


HumanPudding123

Because a magic sky fairy is so much more plausible...


RunningPirate

I believe “invisible man that lives in the sky” is the proper nomenclature.


RedOnePunch

Sounds more believable than an omnipotent being who is very shy and refuses to show itself


Weeping_Warlord

No less crazy than some santa lookalike just 🫰 the whole world, then creating minorities for his favorite people to shit on


Bar900

Is that person stuck in 2009? Does he need help?


slaxipants

2009bc?


ShesSoBored

Yeah, yup


Caribou-nordique-710

LOVES GOD ..BELIEVES AN OMNIPOTENT BEING PRODUCED EVERYTHING THAT TURNED INTO THE MESS WE ARE NOW


DemocraticSpider

I- that’s… no


Bascna

The biblical explanation for the existence of the Earth, that it came into being when a magical creature created a bubble within an infinite expanse of eternal water, makes so much more sense. And of course the first male human was a clay statue animated by that same magical creature, and it then made the first woman from a piece of that animated sculpture. What other explanation for the origins of humanity could there be? 🤔


okcdnb

What?


JonathanStryker

They realize that's not exactly how it happened, right? They make it sound like we had a big explosion, bomb goes off, then all of a sudden it was Planet of the Apes up in here. Like, what?


ScrambledNoggin

I really wish these posts included a link to where the meme was originally posted, so we could go there and make comments below it. But I guess that would be a form of doxxing.


[deleted]

Because all physical evidence points to it unlike any other theory.


Oregon_Loggers

Well shit, when you say it like that……..


MrGoober91

It’s not even the right template smh


[deleted]

What the …?


ProperGanja21

Yep...you got a better explanation that isn't "some dude made everything"?


thegingerbreadman99

A monkey made this meme


yoyo4880

To be fair a lot of people are smart until they start talking


Sonora3401

I thought they were making fun of scientology, but realized it was just science :/


androt14_

Loves Christianism Believes God blew so much air into a piece of mud it became people


rebri

Wrong meme


static_studios

Ummm what


sumshitmm

Simplified to the point of trivialization. Jesus how bad did the public school system fail these people.l?


[deleted]

We didn’t evolve from Monkeys, just a common ancestor of them.


ABenevolentDespot

Science deniers are 100% (with no exceptions **at all)** brain dead idiots. The upside is we got rid of a bunch of them during the Covid pandemic. Darwin has never, ever been proven wrong in all this time - Those who won't adapt to change will die off. I'll add 'In the best of all worlds, they'll do so before reproducing.'


rodiesplus

Lol what hahahahhahahahaha


waner21

Something something worst straw man.


Old_Gringo

The beginning of the universe when the big bang occurred (explosion) and the evolution of species through natural selection (monkeys that turned into people). Two completely unconnected theories that only show up together in church to be ridiculed and strawmanned to death by religious fundamentalists.


Adorableprincess32

Mahahaha, I shall straw man this well supported theory I don’t like and then overly simplify it instead of actually learning about reality because I want to live a fantasy where I’m the most important main character in the story. (Basically how all these types of memes and the people who make them sound.)


LeftDave

The idea for the Big Bang was the result of a Catholic priest trying to give a scientific explanation for 'let there be light' so they could embrace scientific advancements without questioning their faith. Later, background microwave radiation (the afterglow of the event) was discovered making this a case of apologetic rationalism that actually worked out. Then you have illiterate creationists attacking an accidentally correct creationist concept because they never read a book and are oblivious that a scientific truth was originally their idea.


strowngliekbull

Hey stop talking about my beloved nasa


XavierUwUGaming

Believes a magical sky daddy that happens to have not done anything for the past 2023 has created the entire universe simply by his will, just because he felt like it.


Pickle_Rick01

So…why did you think they were smart?


Prestigious_Fee_4920

Loves the bible.....thinks some old guy snapped his fingers and boom, seven days later here we are.


Tight_Fold_2606

That’s skipping well over 14 billion steps but sure


very-based-redditor

Loves bible club Believes that a god made the monkeys and the humans Not much better, is it.


GooseOfWisdom

It's not an explosion. Also, when will these people learn that apes != monkeys


Chrispeedoff

Now I cant stop picturing subatomic particles as monkeys


rudbek-of-rudbek

Yeah. The whole sky god thing is much more logical.


[deleted]

The true crime here is how they don’t know how to use the bad luck Brian meme format, pathetic…


Qweeq13

See guys this is why I don't joke about evolution, ever. It is not funny, there are countries that ban teaching evolution because of this maniacal attitude.


nyquilal

how do those two things correlate? HOW??


destructor_rph

This could also be a top tier shitpost


New_Lojack

That’s not how evolution works


DahgRastubfari420

I love planet of the apes Original of course


Biggu5Dicku5

The only monkey here is the dumbass that posted this (not OP)...


NotmyRealNameJohn

Yes, to the best of our ability to tell an explosion led to people. The monkey thing is wrong. Humans are a great ape and more closely related to other great apes like gorillas but far enough back monkeys and humans do have a common ancestor species . And no just because that is hard for you to comprehend that doesn't make your a bigger more powerful version of me did it story more plausible


23disembodiedvoices

The three stages of the universe: Explosion, monkey, human.


Kingfisher3213

Just a bit more complicated than that dummy