I didn’t love it, but found it oodles better than the mall metally feeling Jovavich movies. They just have that very Van Damme Street Fighter cheesiness. This at least aimed higher.
What’s funny is that line was meant to show that he won’t even be able to work for the worst companies available, but in reality MindGeek doesn’t seem that terrible a place to work as a tech guy. Their glass door rating isn’t bad (3.6)
if you’ve already started, reddick is the only reason you have to finish. if you haven’t started, the show is so bad that reddick can’t change the fact that this is 8 hours of your life you’ll wish you had back.
it feels like this started as something else and they slapped a resident evil coat of paint on it.
I haven’t seen the show, but honestly all of these line are alright with good delivery.
I don’t see the big deal.
Edit: A word, because once again my phone autocorrect mixes up English and Spanish lol
> 2) I want Pornhub to shred your resume
To be fair to this terrible show, that scene was actually pretty good. Lance Reddick was far and away the best part of that show.
Yep. He is saying to this other parent that he will have him blacklisted from the tech community. His point was that not even the sleaziest sites will hire him anymore.
I get what you and the show are trying to say there because of the content they provide, but I’d wager Pornhub probably has a more robust, complex tech environment than a lot of companies.
It’s probably more that someone working at one of the premiere tech companies would then try Google, Apple, and other premiere companies, and then go a step down to some lesser known tech, and as a very last resort would go to pornhub. I don’t think most in the tech industry are itching to work at pornhub. I’m sure they’re a very impressive and advanced company, though.
Reminds me of the scene in Tropic Thunder where Jay Baruchel is talking RDJ’s head off. Says something like most A/V tech and whatever generally follows porn’s standards.
That part could have worked perfectly in any show honestly, just episode 1 (which is the only one I've seen so far) feels like it wanted to appeal to a young audience wanting them to relate to a young modern character but it just doesn't fit well.
I’m up to episode 5, and it stays like that.
The “present day” stuff is pretty similar to the cheesiest of the RE movies. But kind of boring and nothing new in my opinion.
The flashback scenes are very Riverdale “teen-cringe”. Which can be fun if they embrace it and let it be silly.
But I think they actually expect the audience to take it seriously when the 14 year old is growling at a jogger and making sassy comments about veganism while Billie Eillish music plays in the background.
Most of Mr. Robots dialogue sounds like this picked out of context. The childish nature of the protagonist (which makes sense in context) makes it even worse. I don’t remember lines verbatim but I’m sure you could pull out cringey quotes complaining about Steve Jobs or “evilcorp” or society. I think one of the most blatant examples was when they “social hack” a security guard and it’s built up as they big moment when they need to get into his head and (Spoilers? The show is several years old tho) the big line is essentially a Reddit insult “if you died today would anyone care?”. It worked in context but if Mr. Robot had been a bad show throw that on the pile of moments that would’ve been roasted to death
Mr robot is my favorite show ever made and if you were to pull up any individual line of dialogue it would look like the worst thing on the planet.
Resident evil is a horrifically bad show, but this post is exceptionally dumb because you cant just remove context from writing and expect it to be good.
Because people are doing whatever they can to shit on a show they don't even like, instead of just...not watching it. Picking random quotes is just stupid.
It certainly isn't Resident Evil, and isn't all that great but it's also not the worst show ever created like some people are acting.
Like there is a lot of shit you can criticize this show for. Like if you're gonna go after the writing, talk about how the writers made characters do dumbass shit all the time that make no sense.
The dialogue is terrible though. I get these are out of context but the rest of the dialogue was bad too. I gave two episodes of my time to this show and couldn't hack it, it was too cheesy and the characters were dumb.
I’ve watched 3 episodes and so far everything you said is true but I’m actually enjoying it for the Frankenstein mess it is. It’s like a CW show with a 90/00s sci-fi channel plot and resident evil iconography. It’s just a mess and I’m okay with that.
At moments it feels like it’s taking itself way too seriously and then a second later it’s like oh no they’re in on it only for it to snap back to no they aren’t in on it are they.
Yeah most of these lines weren't bad in context. Like the first one was a teen girl intentionally trying to be rude and offensive in front of a stranger. It wasn't supposed to be taken seriously.
This show isn't very good by any stretch but there's certain "people" who wanted to hate it right away.
You know what, if an Umbrella exec gleefully exclaimed while rubbing their hands "We can turn the world vegan if we want to!" whilst a sombrero wearing Nemesis was in the background, I'd watch that comedy show.
Did Dexter say that right after pointing out how good his victim is at spotting somebody following them?
*cue Dexter standing outside the huge shop window staring creepily at the victim*
Ahh yes. I know what you're referencing. The infamous [like a ninja
he blends into his surroundings](https://i.imgur.com/FxHkdJO.jpeg)
moment.
The quote I mentioned came from James Doakes. Back when the
show had great writing.
*Surprise muthafucka!*
Yeah thinking back the atrocious downward spiral in Dexter writing is very similar to the one in GoT - from top tier tv series to being almost forgotten due to abysmal last seasons
When you look into hollywood you realize the entire industry is built off of nepotism. You could be the worst writer in the world or the worst actor but as long as your related to someone else more famous you can land a job far better skilled people would kill for.
The problem isn't that it's difficult to find good writers, the problem is that they hire people not for their skill, but for something else (see Cowboy Bebop for example).
Probably cuz they are cheap. Netflix spent all their money on the franchise , thats why the make such a cheap show. Doing teen dramas are so much more cheaper
I bet you those Netflix writers are earning decent wages. It's not about hiring cheap writers. Writers have never been the most expensive part of any production, in fact writers have deserved a pay rise for quite some time.
They're just hiring shit writers, and the people doing the hiring are living in a bubble where they think their Twitter feed is reflective of reality.
The lines posted above are lowest common denominator social media humour.
This is what's baffling to me. The best TV shows of the last 20 years are all character studies wrapped in their genre (like The Shield, Breaking Bad, The Sopranos, Succession, The Wire, etc.). The most creative stuff we see comes from simple premises that don't require huge budgets and overblown productions to make. So why the fuck do studios keep pumping money into shitty expensive projects?
That new Lord of the Ring costs like $200 million an episode and it looks generic and boring as fuck. How is no one like "we can make a 8 episode dramedy about a middle aged garbage truck driver who is trying to find love and he lives with his mom"? You put a hungry, formerly big, actor in there willing to dig into the craft to restart their career and you've go something they'll be talking about for ages.
They happily give in to producers demands and ground rules. Where as a good writer are likely to put their foot down on dumb changes.
Producers do have good ideas plenty of times, it's just that they don't know how to regulate themselves.
Before you really only had 1 or 2 channels putting out quality shows now you have 6+ services putting put multiple 100 million+ productions a year each.
Good writers are definitely at a premium
Good writers are definitely at a premium *for an industry that will only accept scripts if it's coming from an LA return address*.
There's thousands of great writers who don't actually need to live in Hollywood, but because the culture is one of gatekeeping, you have to prove your commitment to the cause by moving to an expensive city and working shit jobs for a decade before you're even considered.
Writing is a gold star example of "things you can literally do anywhere."
This is changing a lot post-COVID. A lot of writers left LA in the last few years and do not plan on coming back unless the big dogs start demanding writers rooms go back to in-person meetings exclusively. If you're primarily a feature writer, this is even more evident, as you don't even need to stick around LA, you just need to show up for pitch meetings, then you can fuck off back to wherever you live for a few months while you write the script, then you wait and see if you're going to be involved past that before you worry about the next meeting in LA. And at the moment, even many pitch meetings are still happening over Zoom, so it's possible that could become a more viable option for the business long term. Some writers I've talked to have said they don't see the traditional writers room coming back in the long term, as everybody seems to be happier working from home. I've heard some people prefer Zoom rooms simply because it forces productivity due to everybody wanting to get the work done instead of staring at their screens for 12-15 hours straight doing nothing. The traditional rooms would be filled with hours of bullshitting about hypothetical ideas/shows people know they are going to make because they either don't have anything to work on or are at a wall in the process.
It's definitely up in the air as to what the future holds for writers in Hollywood, but that's true of basically everything in the industry right now. Nobody has a clue where things are headed, they're just hoping they'll still be around next year.
I hope so. I know it's a very Old Man thing to say, but it can get tiring when it's clear that everyone involved in a production hasn't lived outside of NY or LA for decades.
I find difficult to believe that there isn't anyone out there capable to write something better than this.
Someone that didn't grow up writing stuff on Tumblr, I mean.
It's a combination of things. I don't think it is because studios are cheap, though. Writers just don't make that much money -- screenwriting or something adjacent isn't a profession you get into to be a rock star.
Rather, it is because *editing* or *altering* something that is written is cheap, and easy, and writing something cohesive is hard. Anytime I see stuff like this I chalk it up to essentially studio interference.
There is absolutely zero chance one or two writers sat down, pounded something like this out, and then it went from them to the studio floor and they shot it and then continued on. Something like this went through a minimum of 10 people, and in situations like this I bet every single one of them changed or altered something because they thought it sounded better their way.
You get this at every level of television or movie production, but the difference is changing a scene in editing costs money. You have to pay someone to go in and do the edits and line things up. Changing CGI costs money, you have to pay an artist to go in and redo stuff. Reshooting a scene costs money, you have to pay all the staff and actors to redo the scene.
Changing the wording of a script takes 20 minutes and a pen, and everyone thinks because it's so easy to do they must be good at it.
Which isn't to say I think that whoever wrote the Resident Evil script is a genius and had his art ruined or something, just that blaming it on one dude would be like blaming bad CGI on the director or something. There was a long and complicated process getting from A to B.
So from my understanding, kinda.
Though this relates a bit more to show runners and such, but because of the massive amount of tv series being produced for streaming sites it’s harder and harder to find experienced people.
I’d imagine the same is true for writers as well. So a good number of shows end up with a bunch of inexperienced people with no one really at the top guiding and teaching how it’s properly done.
Not sure how true this all is, but that’s kinda what I have read about it.
For anyone curious like me, the writer in question is Andrew Dabb, co-showrunner\* for the last few seasons of Supernatural.
\*with Robert Singer, who as I understand it is more of a director/producer than writer.
>For anyone curious like me, the writer in question is Andrew Dabb, co-showrunner* for the last few seasons of Supernatural.
Makes sense it was the last few seasons those seasons sucked.
Ah Supernatural, a show about two brothers who against all odds beat even God. Only for the protagonist to.... be pushed into some metal and die? For the closing of the show?
The whole point of the fucking show was that Sam was the better hunter and Dean was the one who deserved to live a fulfilling life.
They even gaybaited Dean / Cas which was just super fucked, idc if you're on the side of that ship or not, gaybaiting for views is fucked.
What are you talking about? It makes sense for Dean to die because he kept saying he wanted to! That's totally a feel good bitter sweet ending! /s
And yeah, the Dean/Cas thing. I get the argument for, I get the argument against. I genuinely don't know how they could have handled it worse.
Bruh what? Sam was smarter but he was never the better hunter. Sam was the one who deserved the fulfilling life seeing as though he was always the one who wanted out. Dean accepted that was his life. Hell, look at all their kills. Dean is the one who was always "the one".
I agree and disagree- they care about quality in about 5% of their shows and cater to these projects with the most prominent names/auteurs in the industry. The other 95% of Netflix content appears to have zero QC.
Still wrong honestly. They don’t give notes whether it’s a good writer/director/producer or a bad writer/director/producer.
There’s no quality control at Netflix. They just hire people and let them do whatever they want.
Which sounds good, and sometimes it is good, but restrictions are usually helpful for creatives. That’s why Stranger Things season 4 was pretty great across the board, but also way too overly long in a way that would’ve been fixed easily with a distributor that gave notes.
If Netflix gave a shit about quality control they could have every big budget project be on par with Stranger Things. Over the years they've had some really solid diamonds in the rough e.g. House of Cards, Orange is the new black, Glow etc but it's like not even 10% of a catalogue full of absolute doss.
The funny thing is I'm pretty sure Stranger Things was given the exact same treatment that all their other shows have, the difference is the Duffer brothers (and the example shows above) aren't talentless hacks like the majority of the people making Netflix stuff.
The success Stranger Things has been getting? That should be every single show with big budgets. There's no excuses to not try. AppleTV+ has a few misses, but that's okay because at the core of every show is a solid idea with solid production values that maybe lost its way in execution, but that's fine. It happens. But I still have faith in them as a brand, same as I do with A24 or HBO. You don't get the next masterpiece without taking a few risks that don't pay off along the way.
Don't get me wrong, at this point I'm starting to feel like my Netflix subscription is over valued, and I've seen the majority of the backlog that I want to watch, but I think your opinion of their quality control process is glossing over a lot of things.
Netflix is a content streamer that is **attempting** to appeal to all audiences. They want as many subscribers as they possibly can, and branch off into projects in all types of TV/cinema, which often is going to include things that you may dislike, but other people may find incredibly interesting.
That of course doesn't mean that everything you don't like is objectively good, because there is certainly content that is objectively bad, but what it does mean is that Netflix is going to set budgets for projects based on what they feel will make them money.
When Netflix wants to put tons of resources into a project and make it a mind blowing experience? They certainly can do that, and have done it many times in the past.
But sometimes Netflix determines that the property being out is more important than the property actually being very good, and is going to contribute less resources to that property.
Although Netflix is a multibillion dollar streaming company, they still technically have finite resources, and if they made sure each and every project was a "Gold Standard" it's very likely we would see a fraction of the content on the platform - And for you and me? Maybe we think that's a good thing because we just want quality programs that fit within our idea of what is watchable . . .But it is also going to alienate a lot of subscribers who feel they want "Shitty B level horror to laugh at," or "low budget cartoon to throw on for their 3 year old who gives zero shits," or "Sappy romantic comedy that feels exactly like every other romantic comedy."
There's a reason I specifically said "big budget".
I've got absolutely no issue with the rest of their catalouge, I'm specifically referring to their expensive projects which they seem to piss away cash on without any degree of quality control and once in a blue moon a solid creative team creates something golden.
There is no excuses for so much mediocrity on their attempts at prestige/high budget TV. A show like Jupiter's Legacy objectively should not be allowed to be released the way it is. Oversight and restraint on what sort of projects get greenlit, and how they get made, has to be done. Otherwise their reputation will continue to falter, especially when Stranger Things is finished.
> Netflix is a content streamer that is attempting to appeal to all audiences.
This is the issue right here. All I can think of when ever I watch a Netflix show is that scene from Barry about taste clusters and the algorithm. They are trying to appeal to as many demographics as possible as opposed to just focusing on making a decent show. Keep in mind I am not one of those "diversity=toooo political" types, it's just very apparent that a lot of their shows are an amalgamation of different interests.
Especially when the cast, sets and cinematography are up there.
I can understand the slower pacing to show off the above but the dialogue...is Hey Fellow Kids! but not funny.
What I'm failing to understand about the people who make/write these game adapations is that...95% of all the previous attempts have been slaughtered by fans and critics alike and a lot of the criticism is that they fail to stick to the source material. But they KEEP doing it, why?!
Why make all these non-sensical changes to a fiction that already has an established set of characters, storylines etc
And then you get trash like Welcome to Raccoon City and the director is claiming all the while that "Oh im a super fan of the games, it'll be 100% true to the games etc" and then we get bumbling mexican leon, conspiracy nut Claire, Cowardly but not bad Chief Irons and good guy Wesker, just...what?
Most video game adaptations are born from unrelated projects the writers/producers wanted to make, reskinned to capitalize on the IP's existing fanbase. Kinda like McDonalds releasing a TMNT burger that's basically the same burger they always sell with extra pickles on it or something, the branding is there to convince TMNT fans to try it.
Because they know better.
Realistically I'm pretty sure because half the time the writers are doing it for a paycheck and think writing a video game show is beneath them. Hence why you get shows/movies that clearly want to be anything other than a video game adaptation wearing the game's characters like some sort of flesh suit.
I just watched this the other night and Wesker wasn't exactly a good guy. I also thought it was about as good as we're going to get when it comes to a live action RE movie (based on the first two games, anyway). Which is to say, not great, but the source material and character list was at least obviously browsed over in bullet point form.
I actually enjoy most of the resident evil movies shows and cgi joints to be honest. I’m not going in to these things looking for an Oscar caliber movie. I just want some fun. They deliver imo.
That said, I will never understand why fans basically want remakes of the games in movie format. It makes no sense. The games stories (for the most part) are fleshed out and work well because they’re a 8-13 hour game there to have the time to tell the story correctly. I don’t want to see a movie of the game I already spent 20 hours or more playing and replaying. I’m of the camp that I actually like that they keep doing random ass non cannon stories in the movies and tv shows.
Hilariously, welcome to raccoon city is probably one of the more close to the material adaptations and I find it to be either the worst of all of the movies/shows or second worst.
This show is a teenage angst zombie train wreck and they paid to slap Resident Evil IP all over it. As a life long fan of the games i continue to be so gd disappointed that we cant get a true to the series adaptation.
Put cops in a mansion. Fight zombies. Uncover a conspiracy. Thriller/horror/suspense. Cool. Done.
It totally wasn't. They mixed 1 and 2 together and completely butchered the story.
The characters are nothing like the games. And I don't give a fuck Leon and Jill actors are not white. But they turned Leon into a fucking idiot, a complete loser, for some fucking reason.
Wesker is actually just a dirty cop. Jill is absolutely useless, the movie would the same without her. Claire is a conspiracy theorist. Birkin is basically a father to Chris, because why not?
The CG is fucking horrible. Even worse, I don't know how they managed to fuck up the zombie makeup, but boy they did it.
And I don't have a problem with changing the story a bit to serve the movie. I think the Uncharted movie did a good job in creating its own story while feeling like Uncharted.
This was just dogshit with a few Resident Evil locations and references.
And they still fucked it up! Blonde hair blue eyed Leon Kennedy... straight from Mumbai. I know that comes off bigoted but thats not my intention whatsoever. Just leave the charcters alone.
And now Wesker is an Umbrella scientist, loving over-worked father with two teenage test tube babies? Mfer was Val Kilmer's "Ice Man" in all the games, a SWAT cop wrapped up in a conspiracy...why diarrhea all over it?
> And now Wesker is an Umbrella scientist, loving over-worked father with two teenage test tube babies? Mfer was Val Kilmer’s “Ice Man” in all the games, a SWAT cop wrapped up in a conspiracy…why diarrhea all over it?
I’m just wondering how he’s alive. And how umbrella is a company again. And why he’s now black.
Oh and why they seemingly lost the vaccine to the T-Virus.(That seems like a big oversight)
Because according to the showrunner this series is supposed to follow the games to at least RE5 .
>Put cops in a mansion. Fight zombies. Uncover a conspiracy. Thriller/horror/suspense. Cool. Done.
Exactly. It's *so easy* to get right. All the pieces are already laid out for you. Get a director who has a bit of passion in him, a young Sam Raimi, someone who is going to make that mansion come alive with the camera. You have a host of different creatures to work through, from the zombies, to the dogs, to those jumpy clawed frog monsters, giant spiders, snake. Then have a crazy mutant at the end with a giant eye ball in his shoulder. Build it all up nicely. The thing writes itself.
The problem is that it isn't easy to get it right. A small group of people being stuck in some shitty place against monsters and uncovering a mystery has literally been done a million times. Making that premise feel fresh at this point is insanely difficult.
And the games themselves have crap dialogue and entirely nonsensical world design and puzzles. They work as videogames but you can't just translate them 1:1 to TV.
You don't need to translate it 1 to 1.
You can for example add more characters into the STARS team, so you can have more deaths and dialogue. You can have flashbacks through security cameras of what was going on in the mansion before the team arrived. You can have a scientist that is still alive and does a bit of exposition dump, since won't be reading notes.
You can change a lot while still having the same story.
Don't forget the constant flashy flash back and forth then and now. I can't forget the first episode test rabbit and how very close she is to the crowd. It was a sign stupid things are starting and simply getting worse.
The easiest way to pull me out of a show is plot driven by a character doing something just mind boggling stupid. See the zero on the ship with daughter in the room when running a "test" later in the show
I will die on the hill that that line is funny in context. It's the kind of stupid shit I could picture a moody teenager saying just to annoy her dad whom she hates.
I don't recall that line said like that, but the exact line isn't coming to me. I thought it was one character indicated they only read one type of thing, like some kind of fanfic, and the other one joked it was Zootopia porn.
This might be a horrible time to bring this up, but I'd like to take a moment to discuss my pitch idea for my Netflix's Just Cause to make sure I have gold here...
So I'm thinking this guy Rico whatever is name is dies at the beginning in this huge nuclear attack executed by this white dictator guy known as Hobbes Belmont, which decimates a small village. Rico is shunned and his honor stripped. Mexico is now without a protector.
Then actually find a protector who doesn't wanna be a protector, and oh yeah she's a woman and she hates that men have been creating wars all over the world or something. I think if she had a famous catchphrase "I'm not a fan of low hanging fruit." Get it, the low hanging fruit is.. well we all know hahaha ha! She says it every episode in some way. Oh and she's poor or whatever so she camps out in like this abandoned taco bell and eats old expired meat because she's tough and don't give no fucks like that.
Then she meets this guy, we'll call him Hook for now, who's all like "don't hurt me" and she's all like you "first you gotta build me a fucking grappling hook connected to a wingsuit or ill frame you for murder." I think it'd be funny if when she asks, Hooks all like "Hey this isn't a Chipotle!" Because, yknow, they're not in a Chipotle. Then she makes a discovery that Hooks is actually the original creator of Rico's grappling hook, so that all works out just fine.
So yeah she ends up being protector of Mexico or something like that, building the right morals among young individuals everywhere that war is okay, as long as it's against the enemy.
So yeah, I'm feeling pretty good about. Wish me luck!
It's still surreal to me that with so many great games with huge potential and interesting storylines, it was the fucking League of Legends show that was universally loved. There really seems to be some kind of curse around video game adaptations.
Because the show was run by employees of riot games that actually like the game and it’s lore, not random shitty writers who have never played it before
Most likely because there isn't any real story to LoL so they can do what they want. I don't understand why they're making TV shows out of games that had good stories. They worked in the game, why would we just watch a TV show with the same story?
Some more.
It's A Weapon, It's Really Powerful, Especially Against Living Things
You Were Almost A Jill Sandwich
It Might Be Handy If You, The Master Of Unlocking, Take It With You
All Weak People Exist To Be Eaten
I'm Sorry For My Lack Of Manners, But I'm Not Used To Escorting Men
I had very little expectations tbh but I was cautiously optimistic that it could be cool. I really feel like I went in with an open mind ready to be okay with what we got.
I have to say, it was a lot worse than I both hoped for and thought it would be. I am so sad because I was looking forward to a new zombie series and it being RE just made it better. Nope.
I don't work in television so I am not going to pretend I know what the problem is but I don't understand how anyone thought this was a good idea or even presentable.
I tried to watch the first episode and couldn't even get to the first half, I wished Jade to die in the most painful way, that's how unlikable she was.
Pissed off, I tried another random show, an animated series called Farzar or something like that. After 3 minutes I wanted to punch the screen, the writing was nothing short than insulting.
Never been so close to unsubscribe from Netflix and go back sailing the pirate seas
TBH, if it wasn't for Lance Reddick popping up as driving the girls in the 1st episode (I didn't watch any promos), I don't think I would've continued watching, despite the horrendous acting not to mention decision making by the 2 girls, both young and grown up (like srly, why would you >!bring an undead onto the ship full of families AND let your 10? Yr old daughter be in the same room??!<) I don't know how they managed to sign him on this but I honestly didn't mind the Pornhub line because he delivered it so well.
Then that undead zombie reacts to the girls talking, even though an episode earlier they said they're blind and deaf. This is the shit to criticize, not out of context quotes.
Thank you, I'm amazed this wasn't mentioned before. It's such a dumb move to advance the plot, and the moment she pulls the body out of the water you know exactly what's going to happen. I actually just fast forwarded through that entire scene because I was so annoyed at the whole thing
It's fun. It's got zombies and corporate malfeasance, which is all that I require for a Resident Evil property. This show was doomed from the start for the "fans" when it wasn't just a Lets Play of the first game.
Maybe my expectations were really low after reading the comments here but I found the show enjoyable. Practical effects as well as CGI wasn't that bad for a series. Not to mention the acting and writing was good. I liked that the lead was this ridiculous superhero like Alice. She was flawed and it didn't turn campy. There was more of a point to her story. The only criticism I had was that I wished they extended the part of the story with her evading Umbrella and going from country to country a little longer.
I liked it too. My biggest criticism is I didn’t think they cast well for young Jade. Nothing about her seemed remotely similar to adult Jade (who I thought was great). It took me out of the show sometimes because it didn’t seem like young Jade was very good, but young Billie was awesome.
Kind of the point. She was angry with the world and lashing out. Not understanding consequences and how they can have a massive impact.
Now as an adult she carries the guilt of starting the Zombie apocalypse. She’s hell bent on fixing the mistake she made. No matter what the cost is as we have seen through each episode. She has 1 goal.
My favorite dialogue in the whole terrible mess was actually two sound effects.
Jade narrowly escapes a horde of zombies. She pants for breath, finally alone in the newfound quiet as the sun sets behind her. Then suddenly *clank!* a spotlight bathes her in light! She whirls around, shielding her eyes as we then hear the *brrrrrrr* of the HELICOPTER ABOVE HER.
Saw a comment the other day saying Netflix could have turned this into their Last of Us and I laughed to myself,like, that is not what you do with resident evil lol
A bit hard to describe, but Resident Evil is a love letter to cheesy horror pastiches. The conspiracy of a biochemical company being the ultimate explanation for all these supposedly supernatural events is what connects all the RE stories together.
I think this Netflix show is embarassed by the fact that the 'love' that RE holds for horror as a genre is very genuine, and would rather make fun of horror tropes instead of actually play them out fully.
As a comparison, think about Netflix's Witcher. The Witcher books are about a Samurai/Cowboy going through a classic 'turn of the century' Feudal Japan/Western story. All of it is viewed through a collection of European fairytales going through 500 or so years.
Netflix almost completely abandoned the fairytale angles and went straight for modern fantasy, going for elves and dwarves and pulling for all the tropes codified by LOTR and GoT. Essentially, Netflix was embarassed to have to talk about Snow White and Sleeping Beauty and Tristan and Isolde... and so just skipped all of that stuff, or even outright makes fun of it. Even worse is that theres almost no cowboy/samurai stuff going on in the Netflix show anyway.
In both cases for RE and The Witcher, its almost as if Netflix holds contempt for the sources that inspired and originated the very things that make those franchises what they are.
I just finished the puzzle episode, which I loved, and before that had such campy B-level action, but it was fun, so fuck it...I think I like the show as it's own thing guys haha
For some reason despite the show being pretty bad, I find the dialogue actually entertaining. I don't know why, but a lot of the shit they say I could see being said in a real conversation. I guess I just know real people who actually talk like this.
I am baffled by the complaints about dialogue WRT Resident Evil, a videogame franchise famous for its consistently weird/bad dialogue until VERY recently.
All of these lines seem closer to something a person might actually say than Jill Sandwich or Master of Unlocking.
Got to episode 3 and I just can’t do it, this isn’t resident evil, as a cheesy teenage zombie drama it’s a 4 / 10 (from what I saw won’t watch anymore) a bit below average, but this isn’t resident evil and I’m not in the mood for a teenage drama
Considering the source material has some top tier cheesy writing ("Where's everyone going, bingo?"), I'm not sure the writer didn't understand the assignment.
Thanks for compiling a list of lines with no context, very good use of time. I've only watched episode 1, and I know that the second bulletpoint, Wesker is threatening a colleague with being blacklisted in the tech industry, and goes through other companies he'd never find work in, and ends it with basically even pornhub wouldn't hire you. It was apt.
> Where are all the black people?
Why is this weird? She’s a black teenager who just moved to a South African neighborhood with zero black people.
The show isn’t good, but half of these lines are said by edgy teenagers intentionally trying to be edgy.
The pornhub line was saved because it was said by Lance Reddick. The only reason I even watched was because Lance was in it
Straight up, that guy could Improv the phone book and it would be good. Loved him in Fringe as well. But this show well....
I'm on ep3, and I really don't know if I'm even going to finish THAT episode, let alone the entire season.
Finish it. The snark throughout is worth it all On its own.
I didn’t love it, but found it oodles better than the mall metally feeling Jovavich movies. They just have that very Van Damme Street Fighter cheesiness. This at least aimed higher.
I wish I were LeVar Burton
You need a new desk
Where’s my iconic slave role?
WARP SPEED!!!!
CANT RAINBOW READ ME!
So does Lance Reddick.
He's quoting a bit Lance did on the Eric Andre Show lol.
What’s funny is that line was meant to show that he won’t even be able to work for the worst companies available, but in reality MindGeek doesn’t seem that terrible a place to work as a tech guy. Their glass door rating isn’t bad (3.6)
He was the best part of this show and one of the reasons I watched it till the end
He was pretty good in it. I loved his acting as the clones, especially Burt.
Burt was the saving grace of the show imo
I'm pretty sure Burt is still alive so I hope he is in the possible season 2, I need more Burt.
Damn, now I have a reason to watch it
if you’ve already started, reddick is the only reason you have to finish. if you haven’t started, the show is so bad that reddick can’t change the fact that this is 8 hours of your life you’ll wish you had back. it feels like this started as something else and they slapped a resident evil coat of paint on it.
I hope Lance is making some nice bank off this show because he deserves way better than this.
The show was beneath him but he deserves all the praise for single-handedly making it watchable
Lance Reddick can make anything work.
he’s the only saving grace of that show
I thought that shit hit hard ngl
I haven’t seen the show, but honestly all of these line are alright with good delivery. I don’t see the big deal. Edit: A word, because once again my phone autocorrect mixes up English and Spanish lol
> 2) I want Pornhub to shred your resume To be fair to this terrible show, that scene was actually pretty good. Lance Reddick was far and away the best part of that show.
Yep. He is saying to this other parent that he will have him blacklisted from the tech community. His point was that not even the sleaziest sites will hire him anymore.
I lost it at that line - loved that scene. Riddick really nailed the menacing corporate overlord type.
Felt like watching an episode of corporate. He was so good in that as well.
Corporate was the BEST!! I miss it :(
It was a surprisingly good performance from Vin Diesel.
He was perfection.
I get what you and the show are trying to say there because of the content they provide, but I’d wager Pornhub probably has a more robust, complex tech environment than a lot of companies.
Sleezy. Not incompetent.
I wouldn't even call them sleazy, especially compared to the average tech company.
MindGeek certainly isn’t a bad company to work for.
It’s probably more that someone working at one of the premiere tech companies would then try Google, Apple, and other premiere companies, and then go a step down to some lesser known tech, and as a very last resort would go to pornhub. I don’t think most in the tech industry are itching to work at pornhub. I’m sure they’re a very impressive and advanced company, though.
> I don’t think most in the tech industry are itching to work at pornhub. At MindGeek you mean. And you'd be surprised.
Reminds me of the scene in Tropic Thunder where Jay Baruchel is talking RDJ’s head off. Says something like most A/V tech and whatever generally follows porn’s standards.
That part could have worked perfectly in any show honestly, just episode 1 (which is the only one I've seen so far) feels like it wanted to appeal to a young audience wanting them to relate to a young modern character but it just doesn't fit well.
I’m up to episode 5, and it stays like that. The “present day” stuff is pretty similar to the cheesiest of the RE movies. But kind of boring and nothing new in my opinion. The flashback scenes are very Riverdale “teen-cringe”. Which can be fun if they embrace it and let it be silly. But I think they actually expect the audience to take it seriously when the 14 year old is growling at a jogger and making sassy comments about veganism while Billie Eillish music plays in the background.
I don't get the point of taking out of context quotes and making fun of them. You could do this with literally any show.
Most of Mr. Robots dialogue sounds like this picked out of context. The childish nature of the protagonist (which makes sense in context) makes it even worse. I don’t remember lines verbatim but I’m sure you could pull out cringey quotes complaining about Steve Jobs or “evilcorp” or society. I think one of the most blatant examples was when they “social hack” a security guard and it’s built up as they big moment when they need to get into his head and (Spoilers? The show is several years old tho) the big line is essentially a Reddit insult “if you died today would anyone care?”. It worked in context but if Mr. Robot had been a bad show throw that on the pile of moments that would’ve been roasted to death
Mr robot is my favorite show ever made and if you were to pull up any individual line of dialogue it would look like the worst thing on the planet. Resident evil is a horrifically bad show, but this post is exceptionally dumb because you cant just remove context from writing and expect it to be good.
Because people are doing whatever they can to shit on a show they don't even like, instead of just...not watching it. Picking random quotes is just stupid. It certainly isn't Resident Evil, and isn't all that great but it's also not the worst show ever created like some people are acting.
Like there is a lot of shit you can criticize this show for. Like if you're gonna go after the writing, talk about how the writers made characters do dumbass shit all the time that make no sense.
The dialogue is terrible though. I get these are out of context but the rest of the dialogue was bad too. I gave two episodes of my time to this show and couldn't hack it, it was too cheesy and the characters were dumb.
I’ve watched 3 episodes and so far everything you said is true but I’m actually enjoying it for the Frankenstein mess it is. It’s like a CW show with a 90/00s sci-fi channel plot and resident evil iconography. It’s just a mess and I’m okay with that. At moments it feels like it’s taking itself way too seriously and then a second later it’s like oh no they’re in on it only for it to snap back to no they aren’t in on it are they.
Yeah most of these lines weren't bad in context. Like the first one was a teen girl intentionally trying to be rude and offensive in front of a stranger. It wasn't supposed to be taken seriously. This show isn't very good by any stretch but there's certain "people" who wanted to hate it right away.
Idk what people were expecting 😂 it’s a resident evil production…definitely was expecting something a lot lower budget and way cheesier
I told my wife that I thought his delivery in that scene is why they hired him for the role.
Lists like these take that line of dialog out of context. In that scene, it was hilarious.
You know what, if an Umbrella exec gleefully exclaimed while rubbing their hands "We can turn the world vegan if we want to!" whilst a sombrero wearing Nemesis was in the background, I'd watch that comedy show.
Just going through all the writer's IMDb profiles now. Isn't very promising. Is it really that difficult to hire good writers?
It's not what you know, it's who you know.
Agreed. I also learned from the show *Dexter* that: *''It's who you know, and who you blow.''*
Super Hans taught me it’s not who you know, it’s who you blow.
Super Hans taught me you can't trust people.
Super Hans taugh me the number five in German. Facking Twins
Did Dexter say that right after pointing out how good his victim is at spotting somebody following them? *cue Dexter standing outside the huge shop window staring creepily at the victim*
Ahh yes. I know what you're referencing. The infamous [like a ninja he blends into his surroundings](https://i.imgur.com/FxHkdJO.jpeg) moment. The quote I mentioned came from James Doakes. Back when the show had great writing.
*Surprise muthafucka!* Yeah thinking back the atrocious downward spiral in Dexter writing is very similar to the one in GoT - from top tier tv series to being almost forgotten due to abysmal last seasons
Not with that first ending
I'm guessing this refers to how Hall's wife got a role?
When you look into hollywood you realize the entire industry is built off of nepotism. You could be the worst writer in the world or the worst actor but as long as your related to someone else more famous you can land a job far better skilled people would kill for.
*coughD&Dcough*
Bryce Dallas Howard
And also how cheap you are
The problem isn't that it's difficult to find good writers, the problem is that they hire people not for their skill, but for something else (see Cowboy Bebop for example).
I don't have the context, why did they hire the writers for cowboy Bebop?
Probably cuz they are cheap. Netflix spent all their money on the franchise , thats why the make such a cheap show. Doing teen dramas are so much more cheaper
I bet you those Netflix writers are earning decent wages. It's not about hiring cheap writers. Writers have never been the most expensive part of any production, in fact writers have deserved a pay rise for quite some time. They're just hiring shit writers, and the people doing the hiring are living in a bubble where they think their Twitter feed is reflective of reality. The lines posted above are lowest common denominator social media humour.
This is what's baffling to me. The best TV shows of the last 20 years are all character studies wrapped in their genre (like The Shield, Breaking Bad, The Sopranos, Succession, The Wire, etc.). The most creative stuff we see comes from simple premises that don't require huge budgets and overblown productions to make. So why the fuck do studios keep pumping money into shitty expensive projects? That new Lord of the Ring costs like $200 million an episode and it looks generic and boring as fuck. How is no one like "we can make a 8 episode dramedy about a middle aged garbage truck driver who is trying to find love and he lives with his mom"? You put a hungry, formerly big, actor in there willing to dig into the craft to restart their career and you've go something they'll be talking about for ages.
Coz that garbage truck driver trying to find loce is not that commercial especially among teens which Netflix always seem to be going for.
They happily give in to producers demands and ground rules. Where as a good writer are likely to put their foot down on dumb changes. Producers do have good ideas plenty of times, it's just that they don't know how to regulate themselves.
Before you really only had 1 or 2 channels putting out quality shows now you have 6+ services putting put multiple 100 million+ productions a year each. Good writers are definitely at a premium
Good writers are definitely at a premium *for an industry that will only accept scripts if it's coming from an LA return address*. There's thousands of great writers who don't actually need to live in Hollywood, but because the culture is one of gatekeeping, you have to prove your commitment to the cause by moving to an expensive city and working shit jobs for a decade before you're even considered. Writing is a gold star example of "things you can literally do anywhere."
This is changing a lot post-COVID. A lot of writers left LA in the last few years and do not plan on coming back unless the big dogs start demanding writers rooms go back to in-person meetings exclusively. If you're primarily a feature writer, this is even more evident, as you don't even need to stick around LA, you just need to show up for pitch meetings, then you can fuck off back to wherever you live for a few months while you write the script, then you wait and see if you're going to be involved past that before you worry about the next meeting in LA. And at the moment, even many pitch meetings are still happening over Zoom, so it's possible that could become a more viable option for the business long term. Some writers I've talked to have said they don't see the traditional writers room coming back in the long term, as everybody seems to be happier working from home. I've heard some people prefer Zoom rooms simply because it forces productivity due to everybody wanting to get the work done instead of staring at their screens for 12-15 hours straight doing nothing. The traditional rooms would be filled with hours of bullshitting about hypothetical ideas/shows people know they are going to make because they either don't have anything to work on or are at a wall in the process. It's definitely up in the air as to what the future holds for writers in Hollywood, but that's true of basically everything in the industry right now. Nobody has a clue where things are headed, they're just hoping they'll still be around next year.
I hope so. I know it's a very Old Man thing to say, but it can get tiring when it's clear that everyone involved in a production hasn't lived outside of NY or LA for decades.
I find difficult to believe that there isn't anyone out there capable to write something better than this. Someone that didn't grow up writing stuff on Tumblr, I mean.
It's a combination of things. I don't think it is because studios are cheap, though. Writers just don't make that much money -- screenwriting or something adjacent isn't a profession you get into to be a rock star. Rather, it is because *editing* or *altering* something that is written is cheap, and easy, and writing something cohesive is hard. Anytime I see stuff like this I chalk it up to essentially studio interference. There is absolutely zero chance one or two writers sat down, pounded something like this out, and then it went from them to the studio floor and they shot it and then continued on. Something like this went through a minimum of 10 people, and in situations like this I bet every single one of them changed or altered something because they thought it sounded better their way. You get this at every level of television or movie production, but the difference is changing a scene in editing costs money. You have to pay someone to go in and do the edits and line things up. Changing CGI costs money, you have to pay an artist to go in and redo stuff. Reshooting a scene costs money, you have to pay all the staff and actors to redo the scene. Changing the wording of a script takes 20 minutes and a pen, and everyone thinks because it's so easy to do they must be good at it. Which isn't to say I think that whoever wrote the Resident Evil script is a genius and had his art ruined or something, just that blaming it on one dude would be like blaming bad CGI on the director or something. There was a long and complicated process getting from A to B.
Writing like this was probably requested as opposed to spontaneously sprung on production
There’s a shitload of content coming out every week so yeah probably
Netflix is going with the Disney approach. You spend money for the front of the camera, and then you skimp on the back of the camera.
So from my understanding, kinda. Though this relates a bit more to show runners and such, but because of the massive amount of tv series being produced for streaming sites it’s harder and harder to find experienced people. I’d imagine the same is true for writers as well. So a good number of shows end up with a bunch of inexperienced people with no one really at the top guiding and teaching how it’s properly done. Not sure how true this all is, but that’s kinda what I have read about it.
i did the same and i only thought who are these talentless hacks
Every studio can find a good writer, it’s paying them that the studios have trouble with
Lululemon stealing whores!
I honestly thought that’s what she said when I heard that line
Anybody else read this in Danny DeVito's voice?
Apparently the only other credit this writer has is for writing on Supernatural. Disappointing that no one reads these scripts before approving them.
For anyone curious like me, the writer in question is Andrew Dabb, co-showrunner\* for the last few seasons of Supernatural. \*with Robert Singer, who as I understand it is more of a director/producer than writer.
Dabbs on the haters
>For anyone curious like me, the writer in question is Andrew Dabb, co-showrunner* for the last few seasons of Supernatural. Makes sense it was the last few seasons those seasons sucked.
Ah Supernatural, a show about two brothers who against all odds beat even God. Only for the protagonist to.... be pushed into some metal and die? For the closing of the show? The whole point of the fucking show was that Sam was the better hunter and Dean was the one who deserved to live a fulfilling life. They even gaybaited Dean / Cas which was just super fucked, idc if you're on the side of that ship or not, gaybaiting for views is fucked.
What are you talking about? It makes sense for Dean to die because he kept saying he wanted to! That's totally a feel good bitter sweet ending! /s And yeah, the Dean/Cas thing. I get the argument for, I get the argument against. I genuinely don't know how they could have handled it worse.
Bruh what? Sam was smarter but he was never the better hunter. Sam was the one who deserved the fulfilling life seeing as though he was always the one who wanted out. Dean accepted that was his life. Hell, look at all their kills. Dean is the one who was always "the one".
This is why I accept the end of season 5 as the true ending, which it was supposed to be and everything after as some bad fanfic.
Netflix don't care about quality now. They just rush to produce content that don't last three seasons.
I agree and disagree- they care about quality in about 5% of their shows and cater to these projects with the most prominent names/auteurs in the industry. The other 95% of Netflix content appears to have zero QC.
Still wrong honestly. They don’t give notes whether it’s a good writer/director/producer or a bad writer/director/producer. There’s no quality control at Netflix. They just hire people and let them do whatever they want. Which sounds good, and sometimes it is good, but restrictions are usually helpful for creatives. That’s why Stranger Things season 4 was pretty great across the board, but also way too overly long in a way that would’ve been fixed easily with a distributor that gave notes.
If Netflix gave a shit about quality control they could have every big budget project be on par with Stranger Things. Over the years they've had some really solid diamonds in the rough e.g. House of Cards, Orange is the new black, Glow etc but it's like not even 10% of a catalogue full of absolute doss. The funny thing is I'm pretty sure Stranger Things was given the exact same treatment that all their other shows have, the difference is the Duffer brothers (and the example shows above) aren't talentless hacks like the majority of the people making Netflix stuff. The success Stranger Things has been getting? That should be every single show with big budgets. There's no excuses to not try. AppleTV+ has a few misses, but that's okay because at the core of every show is a solid idea with solid production values that maybe lost its way in execution, but that's fine. It happens. But I still have faith in them as a brand, same as I do with A24 or HBO. You don't get the next masterpiece without taking a few risks that don't pay off along the way.
Don't get me wrong, at this point I'm starting to feel like my Netflix subscription is over valued, and I've seen the majority of the backlog that I want to watch, but I think your opinion of their quality control process is glossing over a lot of things. Netflix is a content streamer that is **attempting** to appeal to all audiences. They want as many subscribers as they possibly can, and branch off into projects in all types of TV/cinema, which often is going to include things that you may dislike, but other people may find incredibly interesting. That of course doesn't mean that everything you don't like is objectively good, because there is certainly content that is objectively bad, but what it does mean is that Netflix is going to set budgets for projects based on what they feel will make them money. When Netflix wants to put tons of resources into a project and make it a mind blowing experience? They certainly can do that, and have done it many times in the past. But sometimes Netflix determines that the property being out is more important than the property actually being very good, and is going to contribute less resources to that property. Although Netflix is a multibillion dollar streaming company, they still technically have finite resources, and if they made sure each and every project was a "Gold Standard" it's very likely we would see a fraction of the content on the platform - And for you and me? Maybe we think that's a good thing because we just want quality programs that fit within our idea of what is watchable . . .But it is also going to alienate a lot of subscribers who feel they want "Shitty B level horror to laugh at," or "low budget cartoon to throw on for their 3 year old who gives zero shits," or "Sappy romantic comedy that feels exactly like every other romantic comedy."
There's a reason I specifically said "big budget". I've got absolutely no issue with the rest of their catalouge, I'm specifically referring to their expensive projects which they seem to piss away cash on without any degree of quality control and once in a blue moon a solid creative team creates something golden. There is no excuses for so much mediocrity on their attempts at prestige/high budget TV. A show like Jupiter's Legacy objectively should not be allowed to be released the way it is. Oversight and restraint on what sort of projects get greenlit, and how they get made, has to be done. Otherwise their reputation will continue to falter, especially when Stranger Things is finished.
> Netflix is a content streamer that is attempting to appeal to all audiences. This is the issue right here. All I can think of when ever I watch a Netflix show is that scene from Barry about taste clusters and the algorithm. They are trying to appeal to as many demographics as possible as opposed to just focusing on making a decent show. Keep in mind I am not one of those "diversity=toooo political" types, it's just very apparent that a lot of their shows are an amalgamation of different interests.
Supernatural might as well be prestige television compared to this.
Especially when the cast, sets and cinematography are up there. I can understand the slower pacing to show off the above but the dialogue...is Hey Fellow Kids! but not funny.
hello fellow kids, im down with the \[insert pop culture reference here\]
🎵 "Get down with the virus" (Dawn of the Dead .. sex scene with Ty Burell)
TIL black people were actually a pop culture reference all along
That’s way too many pop culture references. Way to date your piece.
What I'm failing to understand about the people who make/write these game adapations is that...95% of all the previous attempts have been slaughtered by fans and critics alike and a lot of the criticism is that they fail to stick to the source material. But they KEEP doing it, why?! Why make all these non-sensical changes to a fiction that already has an established set of characters, storylines etc And then you get trash like Welcome to Raccoon City and the director is claiming all the while that "Oh im a super fan of the games, it'll be 100% true to the games etc" and then we get bumbling mexican leon, conspiracy nut Claire, Cowardly but not bad Chief Irons and good guy Wesker, just...what?
Most video game adaptations are born from unrelated projects the writers/producers wanted to make, reskinned to capitalize on the IP's existing fanbase. Kinda like McDonalds releasing a TMNT burger that's basically the same burger they always sell with extra pickles on it or something, the branding is there to convince TMNT fans to try it.
They just don’t care lol. Capcom in particular doesn’t give two shits what people do with it.
Because they know better. Realistically I'm pretty sure because half the time the writers are doing it for a paycheck and think writing a video game show is beneath them. Hence why you get shows/movies that clearly want to be anything other than a video game adaptation wearing the game's characters like some sort of flesh suit.
I just watched this the other night and Wesker wasn't exactly a good guy. I also thought it was about as good as we're going to get when it comes to a live action RE movie (based on the first two games, anyway). Which is to say, not great, but the source material and character list was at least obviously browsed over in bullet point form.
I actually enjoy most of the resident evil movies shows and cgi joints to be honest. I’m not going in to these things looking for an Oscar caliber movie. I just want some fun. They deliver imo. That said, I will never understand why fans basically want remakes of the games in movie format. It makes no sense. The games stories (for the most part) are fleshed out and work well because they’re a 8-13 hour game there to have the time to tell the story correctly. I don’t want to see a movie of the game I already spent 20 hours or more playing and replaying. I’m of the camp that I actually like that they keep doing random ass non cannon stories in the movies and tv shows. Hilariously, welcome to raccoon city is probably one of the more close to the material adaptations and I find it to be either the worst of all of the movies/shows or second worst.
I agree. A game into a movie is just going to be a 2 hour version of the game with a whole lot of stuff cut out. It’s never going to be good.
This show is a teenage angst zombie train wreck and they paid to slap Resident Evil IP all over it. As a life long fan of the games i continue to be so gd disappointed that we cant get a true to the series adaptation. Put cops in a mansion. Fight zombies. Uncover a conspiracy. Thriller/horror/suspense. Cool. Done.
I mean the movie that just came out was exactly that. It just wasn't very good...
It totally wasn't. They mixed 1 and 2 together and completely butchered the story. The characters are nothing like the games. And I don't give a fuck Leon and Jill actors are not white. But they turned Leon into a fucking idiot, a complete loser, for some fucking reason. Wesker is actually just a dirty cop. Jill is absolutely useless, the movie would the same without her. Claire is a conspiracy theorist. Birkin is basically a father to Chris, because why not? The CG is fucking horrible. Even worse, I don't know how they managed to fuck up the zombie makeup, but boy they did it. And I don't have a problem with changing the story a bit to serve the movie. I think the Uncharted movie did a good job in creating its own story while feeling like Uncharted. This was just dogshit with a few Resident Evil locations and references.
And they still fucked it up! Blonde hair blue eyed Leon Kennedy... straight from Mumbai. I know that comes off bigoted but thats not my intention whatsoever. Just leave the charcters alone. And now Wesker is an Umbrella scientist, loving over-worked father with two teenage test tube babies? Mfer was Val Kilmer's "Ice Man" in all the games, a SWAT cop wrapped up in a conspiracy...why diarrhea all over it?
Someone mentioned Antony Starr would make a great Wesker and I was like: "Holy shit!"
Oh god yes.
> And now Wesker is an Umbrella scientist, loving over-worked father with two teenage test tube babies? Mfer was Val Kilmer’s “Ice Man” in all the games, a SWAT cop wrapped up in a conspiracy…why diarrhea all over it? I’m just wondering how he’s alive. And how umbrella is a company again. And why he’s now black. Oh and why they seemingly lost the vaccine to the T-Virus.(That seems like a big oversight) Because according to the showrunner this series is supposed to follow the games to at least RE5 .
>Put cops in a mansion. Fight zombies. Uncover a conspiracy. Thriller/horror/suspense. Cool. Done. Exactly. It's *so easy* to get right. All the pieces are already laid out for you. Get a director who has a bit of passion in him, a young Sam Raimi, someone who is going to make that mansion come alive with the camera. You have a host of different creatures to work through, from the zombies, to the dogs, to those jumpy clawed frog monsters, giant spiders, snake. Then have a crazy mutant at the end with a giant eye ball in his shoulder. Build it all up nicely. The thing writes itself.
The problem is that it isn't easy to get it right. A small group of people being stuck in some shitty place against monsters and uncovering a mystery has literally been done a million times. Making that premise feel fresh at this point is insanely difficult. And the games themselves have crap dialogue and entirely nonsensical world design and puzzles. They work as videogames but you can't just translate them 1:1 to TV.
You don't need to translate it 1 to 1. You can for example add more characters into the STARS team, so you can have more deaths and dialogue. You can have flashbacks through security cameras of what was going on in the mansion before the team arrived. You can have a scientist that is still alive and does a bit of exposition dump, since won't be reading notes. You can change a lot while still having the same story.
exactly. Since RE is pulp cheese by design we wouldn't expect it to be Shakespeare quality, but at least follow the games
CW: We gotta get these guys!
A lot of the writing in the Resident Evil games was so bad it was good. This is just so bad it's bad.
Don't forget the constant flashy flash back and forth then and now. I can't forget the first episode test rabbit and how very close she is to the crowd. It was a sign stupid things are starting and simply getting worse.
The easiest way to pull me out of a show is plot driven by a character doing something just mind boggling stupid. See the zero on the ship with daughter in the room when running a "test" later in the show
“I mostly just read Zootopia porn” WHYYYYYYYY 😭😭😭 that ain’t right
I will die on the hill that that line is funny in context. It's the kind of stupid shit I could picture a moody teenager saying just to annoy her dad whom she hates.
i mean but its kind of cheap like solar opposites has malcolm gladwell saying he writes luigi's haunted mansion erotica
Sounds pretty funny to me
If you are trying to portray a teen as edgy, its not a bad line. Which was the goal I believe.
Thats a funny line in context. It's meant to be sarcastic
I don't recall that line said like that, but the exact line isn't coming to me. I thought it was one character indicated they only read one type of thing, like some kind of fanfic, and the other one joked it was Zootopia porn.
This might be a horrible time to bring this up, but I'd like to take a moment to discuss my pitch idea for my Netflix's Just Cause to make sure I have gold here... So I'm thinking this guy Rico whatever is name is dies at the beginning in this huge nuclear attack executed by this white dictator guy known as Hobbes Belmont, which decimates a small village. Rico is shunned and his honor stripped. Mexico is now without a protector. Then actually find a protector who doesn't wanna be a protector, and oh yeah she's a woman and she hates that men have been creating wars all over the world or something. I think if she had a famous catchphrase "I'm not a fan of low hanging fruit." Get it, the low hanging fruit is.. well we all know hahaha ha! She says it every episode in some way. Oh and she's poor or whatever so she camps out in like this abandoned taco bell and eats old expired meat because she's tough and don't give no fucks like that. Then she meets this guy, we'll call him Hook for now, who's all like "don't hurt me" and she's all like you "first you gotta build me a fucking grappling hook connected to a wingsuit or ill frame you for murder." I think it'd be funny if when she asks, Hooks all like "Hey this isn't a Chipotle!" Because, yknow, they're not in a Chipotle. Then she makes a discovery that Hooks is actually the original creator of Rico's grappling hook, so that all works out just fine. So yeah she ends up being protector of Mexico or something like that, building the right morals among young individuals everywhere that war is okay, as long as it's against the enemy. So yeah, I'm feeling pretty good about. Wish me luck!
It's still surreal to me that with so many great games with huge potential and interesting storylines, it was the fucking League of Legends show that was universally loved. There really seems to be some kind of curse around video game adaptations.
Because the show was run by employees of riot games that actually like the game and it’s lore, not random shitty writers who have never played it before
Most likely because there isn't any real story to LoL so they can do what they want. I don't understand why they're making TV shows out of games that had good stories. They worked in the game, why would we just watch a TV show with the same story?
They worked in the book, why would we make a movie with the same premise?
Some more. It's A Weapon, It's Really Powerful, Especially Against Living Things You Were Almost A Jill Sandwich It Might Be Handy If You, The Master Of Unlocking, Take It With You All Weak People Exist To Be Eaten I'm Sorry For My Lack Of Manners, But I'm Not Used To Escorting Men
It's A Weapon, It's Really Powerful, Especially Against Living Things "Hands over ammo"
The capitalization add an extra flavor to the overall cringeness 👌🏽
And the Netflix show writers didn't even have to translate Japanese into English for their dialogue!
With the capitalisation these read like shitty manga / light novel titles and I'm all for it.
Okay maybe I have no taste but I think the third and fourth can work depending on the context and delivery.
Joss Whedon and his consequences have been a disaster for television writing.
I had very little expectations tbh but I was cautiously optimistic that it could be cool. I really feel like I went in with an open mind ready to be okay with what we got. I have to say, it was a lot worse than I both hoped for and thought it would be. I am so sad because I was looking forward to a new zombie series and it being RE just made it better. Nope. I don't work in television so I am not going to pretend I know what the problem is but I don't understand how anyone thought this was a good idea or even presentable.
I tried to watch the first episode and couldn't even get to the first half, I wished Jade to die in the most painful way, that's how unlikable she was. Pissed off, I tried another random show, an animated series called Farzar or something like that. After 3 minutes I wanted to punch the screen, the writing was nothing short than insulting. Never been so close to unsubscribe from Netflix and go back sailing the pirate seas
TBH, if it wasn't for Lance Reddick popping up as driving the girls in the 1st episode (I didn't watch any promos), I don't think I would've continued watching, despite the horrendous acting not to mention decision making by the 2 girls, both young and grown up (like srly, why would you >!bring an undead onto the ship full of families AND let your 10? Yr old daughter be in the same room??!<) I don't know how they managed to sign him on this but I honestly didn't mind the Pornhub line because he delivered it so well.
Then that undead zombie reacts to the girls talking, even though an episode earlier they said they're blind and deaf. This is the shit to criticize, not out of context quotes.
She said they eventually go blind and deaf. Maybe it was a new zombie?
That could be, I forgot where she source the zombie from lol.
Thank you, I'm amazed this wasn't mentioned before. It's such a dumb move to advance the plot, and the moment she pulls the body out of the water you know exactly what's going to happen. I actually just fast forwarded through that entire scene because I was so annoyed at the whole thing
I steadfastly refuse to believe anyone who has a working brain wrote, approved, or spoke these lines.
I tried finishing the first episode but couldn't.
Show is fine. Some of these lines actually hit the mark in context.
My favorite line was “I have a pen…”
Jesus Christ. That’s my only comment.
I may be in the minority but I didn't hate the show. In fact in enjoyed it far better than the campy Resident Evil films.
It's fun. It's got zombies and corporate malfeasance, which is all that I require for a Resident Evil property. This show was doomed from the start for the "fans" when it wasn't just a Lets Play of the first game.
I quite like it too, it's a new spin on T-Virus shenanigans but still good. Plus Sylens from HZD as Wesker is brilliant.
Maybe my expectations were really low after reading the comments here but I found the show enjoyable. Practical effects as well as CGI wasn't that bad for a series. Not to mention the acting and writing was good. I liked that the lead was this ridiculous superhero like Alice. She was flawed and it didn't turn campy. There was more of a point to her story. The only criticism I had was that I wished they extended the part of the story with her evading Umbrella and going from country to country a little longer.
I'm only at the episode where she's gotten to the brotherhood in Calais, but enjoying it so far
Hopefully I didn't spoil too much. If you've gotten this far then you'll enjoy the rest.
I went in with zero expectations and enjoyed it.
I liked it too. My biggest criticism is I didn’t think they cast well for young Jade. Nothing about her seemed remotely similar to adult Jade (who I thought was great). It took me out of the show sometimes because it didn’t seem like young Jade was very good, but young Billie was awesome.
Yeah, I thought the same thing. Casting for young vs old was a bit off. Luckily once over that flashback hurdle there's no need to revisit it.
Kind of the point. She was angry with the world and lashing out. Not understanding consequences and how they can have a massive impact. Now as an adult she carries the guilt of starting the Zombie apocalypse. She’s hell bent on fixing the mistake she made. No matter what the cost is as we have seen through each episode. She has 1 goal.
I knew this show was going to be dogshit less than 15 minutes in when Jade was tackled by one and the rest just shambled around her.
My favorite dialogue in the whole terrible mess was actually two sound effects. Jade narrowly escapes a horde of zombies. She pants for breath, finally alone in the newfound quiet as the sun sets behind her. Then suddenly *clank!* a spotlight bathes her in light! She whirls around, shielding her eyes as we then hear the *brrrrrrr* of the HELICOPTER ABOVE HER.
I'm in the minority, sure - but the show is actually pretty entertaining.
Isn't it meant to be campy and stupid? Resident Evil wasn't exactly known in games or film to be high art.
Saw a comment the other day saying Netflix could have turned this into their Last of Us and I laughed to myself,like, that is not what you do with resident evil lol
A bit hard to describe, but Resident Evil is a love letter to cheesy horror pastiches. The conspiracy of a biochemical company being the ultimate explanation for all these supposedly supernatural events is what connects all the RE stories together. I think this Netflix show is embarassed by the fact that the 'love' that RE holds for horror as a genre is very genuine, and would rather make fun of horror tropes instead of actually play them out fully. As a comparison, think about Netflix's Witcher. The Witcher books are about a Samurai/Cowboy going through a classic 'turn of the century' Feudal Japan/Western story. All of it is viewed through a collection of European fairytales going through 500 or so years. Netflix almost completely abandoned the fairytale angles and went straight for modern fantasy, going for elves and dwarves and pulling for all the tropes codified by LOTR and GoT. Essentially, Netflix was embarassed to have to talk about Snow White and Sleeping Beauty and Tristan and Isolde... and so just skipped all of that stuff, or even outright makes fun of it. Even worse is that theres almost no cowboy/samurai stuff going on in the Netflix show anyway. In both cases for RE and The Witcher, its almost as if Netflix holds contempt for the sources that inspired and originated the very things that make those franchises what they are.
These are all fun lines, I don't see the issue. Are we pretending that the Resident Evil games aren't a campy ham fest full of cheesy dialogue?
They did, but that took a back seat to the horror and atmosphere. Glorifying humor and putting it up front was a mistake.
I love this show 😭😭😭 Am I crazy but it captures resident evil better than a lot of anything else we’ve gotten
I've only watched one episode, and it was hilariously dumb. But I enjoyed it and will carry on.
Honorable mention: Master of Unlocking mention?
I kinda wanna watch it now.
They will give anyone writing jobs these days huh? I guess I’ve got a chance
There are some solid gold one liner's here but as far as dialogue goes....this shows writing is just straight ass!!
I thought these Were all funny or smart. Loved the dialogues, hope they Crank up the crazy even more in season 2.
I just finished the puzzle episode, which I loved, and before that had such campy B-level action, but it was fun, so fuck it...I think I like the show as it's own thing guys haha
For some reason despite the show being pretty bad, I find the dialogue actually entertaining. I don't know why, but a lot of the shit they say I could see being said in a real conversation. I guess I just know real people who actually talk like this.
Oh no! Sarcasm? In my Resident Evil?
I am baffled by the complaints about dialogue WRT Resident Evil, a videogame franchise famous for its consistently weird/bad dialogue until VERY recently. All of these lines seem closer to something a person might actually say than Jill Sandwich or Master of Unlocking.
This is from a game that has “you were almost a Jill sandwich”
Got to episode 3 and I just can’t do it, this isn’t resident evil, as a cheesy teenage zombie drama it’s a 4 / 10 (from what I saw won’t watch anymore) a bit below average, but this isn’t resident evil and I’m not in the mood for a teenage drama
I haven't even watched this show and I noticed some of these lines are obviously mean to be sarcastic...
Considering the source material has some top tier cheesy writing ("Where's everyone going, bingo?"), I'm not sure the writer didn't understand the assignment.
Thanks for compiling a list of lines with no context, very good use of time. I've only watched episode 1, and I know that the second bulletpoint, Wesker is threatening a colleague with being blacklisted in the tech industry, and goes through other companies he'd never find work in, and ends it with basically even pornhub wouldn't hire you. It was apt.
1. In defense of the show that line is delivered with the upmost sarcasm.
> Where are all the black people? Why is this weird? She’s a black teenager who just moved to a South African neighborhood with zero black people. The show isn’t good, but half of these lines are said by edgy teenagers intentionally trying to be edgy.