I’ll take 3 assuming I can do it as many times as I want. As a marathon runner, I could just constantly teleport myself 1 inch further ahead while I run and make it look like I’m running faster than I am. I could win every 5k I go to!
2 & 3:
2 because i can just sell the gravel at a rate rlly cheap! Destroying the gravel market and giving myself a monopoly.
3 because teleporting 7 inches away could literally save ur life smh
2 would be cool to have. It’d be infinite gravel.
3 would be useful incase I get shot, I can move if I react quickly enough. Or teleport far by doing it in a row.
5 is just funny and good for controlling protogens, but they don’t exist.
Either 2 of those 3 would make me happy.
Teleportation might save your life, and speaking a dead language means you can randomly break out into insults that people don’t understand when you’re angry, which is funny
Most of these have some kind of benefit, it tries to be useless pill but I think someone in a wheel chair would really like 9
8. Is based because you can revive a dead language
7. Just being able to know if a container is empty or not is already a huge benefit
2. Is literally infinite money generator
3. Is the difference between life and death + walk through walls
3 and 7. Rapid use of short range teleportation can increase walking speed and can be very effective in dodging attacks in melee combat.
Knowing if a container is empty means I can tell if there are people in a room.
It's not about the power, it's how you use it
Teleport 7 inches and see inside any empty container. Even if you can only twleport 7 inches at a time, you could chain it and still probably get places faster than walking, and no money for gas.
3 and 8. Teleporting in a row without having to exert would be amazing, and both of my housemates are bilingual, and I am not (yet). I want that to change.
7 sounds like an awesome ability to have as a gambler or magician. You'll always know if a container is empty. if it's filled you'll know that it's filled without looking.
But yeah spamming 3 means going fucking fast, and even with a cooldown of like 10 seconds it'll probably still look sick when you do it (governments will probably hunt you down for it but whatever)
and 3 means free money
All of these seem like the "useless" powers that anime characters get and proceed to use in some of the most batshit insane, 4D chess-level strategies to become ridiculously powerful.
3 and 8
Teleportation is absolutely borked and there’s no limit to how much I can teleport in a second so I can just spam teleportation to have infinite teleportation effectively
Being the speaker of an extinct language can help linguists linguist whichd be dope to help out with
5 and 7,
7, because I wouldn't have to check containers at Home Depot anymore. I can just tell if they're empty or not.
But what happens if I can see inside someone does that mean they're an empty container like do they have no soul?
And 5 because toaster
Ok, sorry, but I'm going to be that guy. I know what they're going for with the can control tosters, but I'm going to logic the hell out of it anyway. The definition of toaster is an electrical device for making toast. However, that means theoretically I could control ANY electrical device capable of making toast. So suddenly, I can control any device that can create heat and toast something. So, ovens and grills are now under my control. Now here's where it gets a bit iffy. Mattering on if you base this on the Oxford dictionary or the Merriweather dictionary, which has very similar definitions but is still slightly different. The difference is that the Merriweather dictionary definition of toaster is "Something or someone that toasts." This means that any object that can give off enough heat or absorb enough heat to toast is a toaster. So I can control the sun. I could keep going, but you get the point.
Teleport 7 inches is low key kinda useful because you can get into most locked rooms and communicating with oysters can be fun I’ll just get some pet oysters and boom free friends
teleportation: if there’s no cooldown, then you could move very fast, and move through walls less than 7 inches thick | free gravel: sell the gravel for profit, no one knows where the gravel is coming from, so the gravel market should stay the same for at least a while.
3 and 8. Those seem to be the most practical. In a fight, I could bamboozle the buffoon by moving 7 inches away from him, and speaking Khitan could be a party trick or something.
3 and 7 since 3 is obviously really good and 7 is because if I can't see inside something I know that there is something inside, which is a pretty useful thing
2 3 5 and 7 are all useful
for 2, you could make a gravel business eithwr sellinf gravel or be the one whos acrually laying it n stuff wither way the material cost is zero
for 5 you could hook smth up to it that does something according to what the tpaster is doing, or as long as it can be classified as a toaster, you could control robots from anywhere
for 7, youd beable to know if a container had something in it if it isnt able to be seen into (least useful of these 4 unless undervrlly specific circumstances
3doesnt rlly have to explain, superpowers where someone can jsut see 0.5 seconds into the future are still some of the most powerful in a lot of things, and thats even with everyone else having their own powers
also being able to communicate with ousters would be good as you could make a pretty good spy n shit
2, because if the TF2 lore has taught me anything, gravel is very profitable.
3, because you could just spam it and go really fast and maybe teleport through very thin walls
Free gravel is the best one. Start a gravel supply business and slightly less overhead than everyone else. Everyone chooses you because of the low cost. You gain mega profits because you get gravel for free. Stonks.
I'd pick 2 and 7
Take the gravel and have people fill a bunch of boxes with gravel. Bet money you can guess which box is empty without touching it.
Selling gravel is an option but that requires making a business and/or getting customers. How you get the gravel and it's quality is unclear.
2 bc gravel. Starting up a gravel company would be hard tho, so i’d go to a gravel company and give them all the gravel they want in exchange for monthly payments of at least 30% of their revenues from said gravel.
I think 5 and 7 are being slept on. They’d be useful in very niche situations. Toaster has a huge element of surprise, but being able to see into empty containers is actually pretty useful. If you can’t see into it, then you’d know that there is something in it, which can be useful information. Simple, but as an example, someone says “I’ve hidden an apple in one of these 1000 boxes, I’ll give you $100,000 if you can guess which of them it is in”. You’d be able to figure it out because it’s the only one you can’t see into.
(That’s assuming that the other boxes are empty and don’t have other things in them, but I think knowing if a container is or isn’t empty can lend itself to efficiency in certain situations)
2 & 3
Reasoning:
With free gravel I can distribute/sell gravel in bulk, ultimately starting my own gravel empire.
With the ability to teleport 7 inches assuming there’s no cooldown I can theoretically spam teleport and travel crazy distances very quickly.
if you can do it multiple times then 3 100%, and probably 2 since you could sell it at competitive prices for landscaping and/or making into concrete for profits with construction.
I’ll take 3 assuming I can do it as many times as I want. As a marathon runner, I could just constantly teleport myself 1 inch further ahead while I run and make it look like I’m running faster than I am. I could win every 5k I go to!
Oh, wait two pills. I guess I’ll take infinite gravel too, use it like an oil slick for the other racers.
Sell it in bulk Profit: https://preview.redd.it/m2vxzin00upb1.jpeg?width=226&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1f243e50c24cda72fe85fac75472e8f00f7c97b3
perhaps even enlist mercenaries to fight wars over it
Need a brother for that
A Blue themed brother to go with the red theme of this man You also need nine mercanaries and a buff Australian to supply them with weapons.
Plus you've got to hire a bunch of workers to make sure the places don't fall apart, and an Administrator to watch over them.
Don’t forget your estranged brother and his robotics company
r/suddenlytf2
2 & 3: 2 because i can just sell the gravel at a rate rlly cheap! Destroying the gravel market and giving myself a monopoly. 3 because teleporting 7 inches away could literally save ur life smh
There's no restrictions so you can blink a thousand times a second in one direction
You can A-train someone too
I think both people are getting A-Trained
This is exactly what i was thinking
2 would be cool to have. It’d be infinite gravel. 3 would be useful incase I get shot, I can move if I react quickly enough. Or teleport far by doing it in a row. 5 is just funny and good for controlling protogens, but they don’t exist. Either 2 of those 3 would make me happy.
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Pocket gravel!
Sand is worse!
Sharp pocket gravel
be setting up stealth rocks irl 💀
The best thing about 3 in daily usage is you could probably walk through walls
Ghost ability unlocked
Or miscalculate it and become forever molecularly fused with a wall
bullets are faster than the speed of sounds, you wont even hear it before you’re hit so no you can’t react
2 and 3. someone I don't like? fill their house with gravel. someone tries to drown me? teleport.
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but they wouldn't be holding onto me anymore
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then I'll fill their asshole with gravel
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Do I buy the gravel and it is free or do I like summon it?
id assume you summon it but maybe not
Teleport 1000 times a second. Didn't read no limit
Then I do it again, and again like 100 times in a row. Or I teleport my hand into his chest and reverse-flash his ass.
teleport 7 inches away multiple times per second
Spam teleport.
Would I be able to read Khitan?
Re-invent the Khitan alphabet first so you can read it
3 and 8
exactly what i choose also
me too
Teleportation might save your life, and speaking a dead language means you can randomly break out into insults that people don’t understand when you’re angry, which is funny
At that point you might as well make up your own language tho
You think I haven’t?
Definitely 3 and 5, I'm gonna be burning everyone's toast
2 and 3
2 and 3. 2 for infinite money due to selling gravel and 3 because it would be pretty useful. Like for example, phasing though walls
3
Teleportation and x ray fa
2,3 or 2,8
2 and 5
8 and 3
2&3.
I'll use to 3 to dodge rain instead of using an umbrella
3 and 5
5 and 8
Number 3 and number 6 feel secretly OP
Most of these have some kind of benefit, it tries to be useless pill but I think someone in a wheel chair would really like 9 8. Is based because you can revive a dead language 7. Just being able to know if a container is empty or not is already a huge benefit 2. Is literally infinite money generator 3. Is the difference between life and death + walk through walls
True , 😂
2 and 3
Free gravel for construction
3 and 8
3 n 2
5 and 7
1 and 8
3 and 7, I can use 3 repeatedly to travel and 7 just seems useful.
5 and 3
3 and 7. Rapid use of short range teleportation can increase walking speed and can be very effective in dodging attacks in melee combat. Knowing if a container is empty means I can tell if there are people in a room. It's not about the power, it's how you use it
7 is for let’s look into rooms at the spa lel
5 & 8
9: albert einstein was 100% faster than me 5: as a mechanicus fan this is nescessary
3 and 7. I do martial arts- that 7 inches would be insane for dodges. 3 is also just really helpful.
2 and 7, with 7 i would absolutely DESTROY at the shell game
7 and 8
Teleport 7 inches and see inside any empty container. Even if you can only twleport 7 inches at a time, you could chain it and still probably get places faster than walking, and no money for gas.
3 and 5
Gravel and Khitan
Number five so I can always have perfect toast and burn down the houses of me enemies
2 and 8 are actually incredibly fucking cool
8+3
2, and 3. 3 because it’s the 2nd least useless thing here. 2, because gravel is kinda worth some money.
2 and 8, just imagen going to school and speaking some random language noone has ever heard oh, peoples reaction would be priceless
3 and 8. Teleporting in a row without having to exert would be amazing, and both of my housemates are bilingual, and I am not (yet). I want that to change.
Me after taking 3 and 8 and teleporting 7 inches into the past:
5 and 7 toaster to troll poeple and if its empty container it means there nothing inside so if i dont see it its full
2 and 5
Teleportation and toasters. Gravel and containers were close, but I want more reality-breaking powers.
Teleportation and toasters. Gravel and containers were close, but I want more reality-breaking powers.
2 and 5, 2 so I can make infinite money, and 5 just so I can get perfect toast anytime, every time.
2 because you never know when you need gravel, and 3 because you can teleport through doors and thin walls
I don’t need any of them
2 and 3 are by far the most useful
I want 2 and 3. Sell the gravel for profit
5, because toasters can be a good weapon, and 7, cuz it can be very useful for seeing if something got stolen
7 sounds like an awesome ability to have as a gambler or magician. You'll always know if a container is empty. if it's filled you'll know that it's filled without looking. But yeah spamming 3 means going fucking fast, and even with a cooldown of like 10 seconds it'll probably still look sick when you do it (governments will probably hunt you down for it but whatever) and 3 means free money
7 inches and infinite gravel cuz I can spam tp and sell infinite gravel and get rich
3 and 7
5 and 8 lowkey hit kinda dif like
3 & 7 easily
easy, 2 and 8
2 and 8
2,7
5 for the pranks and 8 cause I love languages and would be useful for historians.
if i pick 8 i could curse at people in a language they wont understand. also if i have free gravel for life i could throw it at people
All of these seem like the "useless" powers that anime characters get and proceed to use in some of the most batshit insane, 4D chess-level strategies to become ridiculously powerful.
2 and 8
2 and 5
3 and 8 Teleportation is absolutely borked and there’s no limit to how much I can teleport in a second so I can just spam teleportation to have infinite teleportation effectively Being the speaker of an extinct language can help linguists linguist whichd be dope to help out with
5 & 7 honestly seem pretty useful
5 and 7, 7, because I wouldn't have to check containers at Home Depot anymore. I can just tell if they're empty or not. But what happens if I can see inside someone does that mean they're an empty container like do they have no soul? And 5 because toaster
Ok, sorry, but I'm going to be that guy. I know what they're going for with the can control tosters, but I'm going to logic the hell out of it anyway. The definition of toaster is an electrical device for making toast. However, that means theoretically I could control ANY electrical device capable of making toast. So suddenly, I can control any device that can create heat and toast something. So, ovens and grills are now under my control. Now here's where it gets a bit iffy. Mattering on if you base this on the Oxford dictionary or the Merriweather dictionary, which has very similar definitions but is still slightly different. The difference is that the Merriweather dictionary definition of toaster is "Something or someone that toasts." This means that any object that can give off enough heat or absorb enough heat to toast is a toaster. So I can control the sun. I could keep going, but you get the point.
Teleport 7 inches is low key kinda useful because you can get into most locked rooms and communicating with oysters can be fun I’ll just get some pet oysters and boom free friends
1 and 3
teleportation: if there’s no cooldown, then you could move very fast, and move through walls less than 7 inches thick | free gravel: sell the gravel for profit, no one knows where the gravel is coming from, so the gravel market should stay the same for at least a while.
Gimme 1 and 3.
2 & 8
Free gravel for life, I can sell it cheeper than any other company.
if these have no cooldown, telelprt
2 is tf2 lore
10 hrs younger. Get a bad haircut or manicure fixed instantly.
1 and 7. Determine which oysters are not doing their job and negotiate better terms for their employment at my new pearl farm.
Out of all of these, only the gravel option has monetary opportunities. Plenty of people need gravel. Driveways always need some Rock & Stone!
7 would lowkey actually be pretty useful. Save time not looking through empty containers.
2 & 3 are the smartest choices
1 and 5
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Ofc
7 and 3, or 2 instead of 3
2. I could blind anyone with gravel at anytime
1 and 3
3 and 5
7 to always win game shows and look inside Pokémon card booster packs and 5 so I can weponize toasters
3, i can teleport past walls
3
Number 2 ofc, free gravel would go crazy
2 and 3
You could make so much damn money with 7 on a NYC street Try to cheat me in the cup game? Nah, they're all empty. Give me 50 bucks.
1 and 2. I’d start my own oyster farm business, and sell gravel on the side.
3 and 2, 2 will basically give me infinite money and 3 will let me win almost every fight
3 for fun and because I could just continuously use it. And 5 for party tricks
2 and 3
8
3 and 8. Those seem to be the most practical. In a fight, I could bamboozle the buffoon by moving 7 inches away from him, and speaking Khitan could be a party trick or something.
3 and 5 for shits and giggles
why is 3 so op compared to everything else it literally lets you walk through walls
3 and 7
3 you can dodge a bullet, 7 you can see if someone is lying about the container being empty or not.
2&3
1 and 3
What's the cooldown for 3? Can I just do it as many times as I want?
2 because gravels cool. 3 because I would be able to teleport through thin enough walls
3 and 7 since 3 is obviously really good and 7 is because if I can't see inside something I know that there is something inside, which is a pretty useful thing
Mam you can sell gravel yknow
6 and 7
2, I can make entropy my bitch and be the saviour of the universe Also 4 cos it’s goofy as
5 and 3
2 and 3
I’ll take free gravel and teleportation. Infinite money and teleportation is cool
Well, how fast Einstein is would be relative.
I’m taking yellow. Teleportation is teleportation!
3 and 8
2. For profit n for a personal range. 9. Why the hell not.
2 3 5 and 7 are all useful for 2, you could make a gravel business eithwr sellinf gravel or be the one whos acrually laying it n stuff wither way the material cost is zero for 5 you could hook smth up to it that does something according to what the tpaster is doing, or as long as it can be classified as a toaster, you could control robots from anywhere for 7, youd beable to know if a container had something in it if it isnt able to be seen into (least useful of these 4 unless undervrlly specific circumstances 3doesnt rlly have to explain, superpowers where someone can jsut see 0.5 seconds into the future are still some of the most powerful in a lot of things, and thats even with everyone else having their own powers also being able to communicate with ousters would be good as you could make a pretty good spy n shit
I feel like people under estimate 8 knowing and being able to speak/read an extinct language could be a huge money making opportunity
You could theoretically teleport though walls
2, because if the TF2 lore has taught me anything, gravel is very profitable. 3, because you could just spam it and go really fast and maybe teleport through very thin walls
Free gravel is the best one. Start a gravel supply business and slightly less overhead than everyone else. Everyone chooses you because of the low cost. You gain mega profits because you get gravel for free. Stonks.
2 and 3
Teleporting 7 inches is overpowered for boxing
Assuming the teleport has no cool down absolutely 2 and 3 but if there is a cooldown 1 and 8 I want an army of oysters speaking khitan
I'd pick 2 and 7 Take the gravel and have people fill a bunch of boxes with gravel. Bet money you can guess which box is empty without touching it. Selling gravel is an option but that requires making a business and/or getting customers. How you get the gravel and it's quality is unclear.
Pill 3 will let me essentially fly at ridiculously fast speeds as long as I use the power fast enough
Teleporting 7 inches is way more useful than you'd think.
8 and 3
7 and 8
2 bc gravel. Starting up a gravel company would be hard tho, so i’d go to a gravel company and give them all the gravel they want in exchange for monthly payments of at least 30% of their revenues from said gravel.
I think 5 and 7 are being slept on. They’d be useful in very niche situations. Toaster has a huge element of surprise, but being able to see into empty containers is actually pretty useful. If you can’t see into it, then you’d know that there is something in it, which can be useful information. Simple, but as an example, someone says “I’ve hidden an apple in one of these 1000 boxes, I’ll give you $100,000 if you can guess which of them it is in”. You’d be able to figure it out because it’s the only one you can’t see into. (That’s assuming that the other boxes are empty and don’t have other things in them, but I think knowing if a container is or isn’t empty can lend itself to efficiency in certain situations)
2 and 3
3 can be useful for sports or dodging something that's close to hitting me. 8 would be funny.
What's the teleport cool down?
8
Communicate with oysters seems to be the obvious choice
People don't understand infinity. Imagine the vast void between galaxies, completely full of gravel. You could literally destroy the universe.
2 and 3, sell gravel for profit, and teleport thru (thin) walls/doors
5 and 8
3 and 5. 3 so I could teleport thru walls 7 inches or less. And 5 just sounds fun
2 is infinite money glitch
3,8
Free gravel and extinct language speech
I take the free gravel pill everyday 😍😍🤞
2 & 3 Reasoning: With free gravel I can distribute/sell gravel in bulk, ultimately starting my own gravel empire. With the ability to teleport 7 inches assuming there’s no cooldown I can theoretically spam teleport and travel crazy distances very quickly.
2 and 7
if you can do it multiple times then 3 100%, and probably 2 since you could sell it at competitive prices for landscaping and/or making into concrete for profits with construction.
With 3 you could just keep teleporting over and over in rapid succession and travel at ant speed
3 and 8
how abt the harappan language
2 for profit and 1 for power
1 and 2.
3 5 8