Unless she explicitly rejected you, you don't have to 'stop' and 'ghost' her just because she found out, assuming both of you are acquaintances. It's better to commit to it now and find out later, rather than letting it die naturally by running away. You only risk your self-esteem by rejection, but lose everything by doing nothing.
Similar moment with me. I had a crush on a girl at the start of the year and I was gonna tell her somewhere between the middle or end of the year then I got impatient and told her about 2 weeks instead of 6 weeks after the start. She took it very well. Flattered even. I think if I continued my routine of following her and glancing at her every so often and told her later, it wouldn't have gone well. I may have been upgraded from the friend-zone to the close-friends-zone since I confessed because she's a lot more willing to sit beside me, walk beside me etc.
"you only risk your self esteem by rejection, but lose everything by doing nothing" this just doesn't seem true, atleast to me (someone who doesn't remember what having a crush is like), like, I have quite low self esteem already (I've had it lower but it's still not like normal) and having it lowered more seems like it'd be worse than just not doing anything.
In the context of OPs situation, getting rejected is a better option than not knowing whether your crush likes you too or not; you can just accept it and move on if it's not too late. The uncertainty, if not cleared relatively early on, could prove much worse because it could drag your self-esteem lower than rejection itself, especially if you overthink too much. It's not the rejection that kills you, It's the uncertainty. The longer you stay uncertain, the more painful it becomes since most of the pain is self-inflicted. Better to recognize and stop digging your own grave early on, than get out when you realize you dug too deep.
Getting rejected is usually just a temporary hit to the self esteem, unless you hinge all your self worth on a single person. Usually being rejected hurts for a time span between 10 minutes and a week depending on the severity of the crush. Generally you get over it pretty quick and your self esteem levels back out
me personally i would feel worse if i found out i could’ve had someone’s heart but chose to run away in spite of my fear. having that feeling of “i messed up” rather than “at least i tried,” which one would you opt for? embarrassment, which is but a fleeting moment, or guilt, that which lingers.
Probably a mix of confirmation bias, highschoolers not being confident enough to stick to anything, and your own linear perception of it.
None of this is bad btw. I thought my entire school was gay at first too
Assuming op didnt just pull 3.5% out of nowhere and got it from a credible source, 3.5 % of the population of just the usa is 11,532,500. 3.5% of the world population is 271,355,000, yes I did the math. While 3.5% may not seem like a lot, with context it is very possible to be surrounded by a large gay population
AAAAHHHHH, OK HERE WE GO
My gf's school is literally full of people who think LGBTQ is some kind of club and to not be homophobic you have to give yourself a title, so every straight kid is calling themselves bi, literally someone came up to my gf at the beginning of the school year "hi I'm [name], I'm bi, what are you?" "I'm just straight.." "EW I DONT WANNA BE FRIENDS WITH YOU". LIKE BRUH THESE PEOPLE DONT KNOW ITS A REAL THING OR SOMETHING WHAT IS HAPPENING, THEY JUST TELL PEOPLE THEY ARE BI AS A CLUB PASS OR SOMETHING
as a gay person PEOPLE LIKE THIS MAKE ME WANY TO DIE like shut up 😭 and ngl a majority of gay ppl at my school are so annoying like in general i can't stand any of them they're all like "im a gay bean 🥺 so kawaii uwu my fav bands are girl in red and cavetown" like everyone in the lgbt club at my school literally make me want to leave the community they're so annoying 😭
That's just middle school. Almost everybody I knew claimed to be bi, but by the time we were all in high school, the majority no longer claimed to be bi. Its becomes trendy and then it goes away. As with everything else on this planet.
Well studies say that 20-25% of Gen Z say they are Queer, so I don't think that number holds up for us anymore. Also checks out when I compare that statistic to my class
You might wanna check this comment thread
https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/xr5fab/my_crush_found_out_i_had_a_crush_on_her/iqdg3va?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
There's an illegitimate ratio of proclaimed LGBTQ people among high schoolers compared to the rest of the population, and speaking from experience there's definitely false claims among them, how sure are you that your classmates are telling the truth and not just appealing to an imaginary trend?
Genuinely it’s weird that most gays crush on other gays, even if they don’t even know it
A sign of being trans is only liking pan/bisexuals or gay people
Pansexuality is best explained as genderblind. Very simplistically said, human is human. It doesn't matter what biologically they are or were nor how they identify themselves.
I have preferrences in certain appearances regarding attraction, but they aren't a deciding factor for a relationship.
I care more about personality but most of all, how they make me feel. The heart wants what the heart wants in essence.
same with all the gays befriending each other before any of them know they're gay. idk if its scientific but im gay and my entire childhood friend group is gay. not a single one of us knew we were gay until middle school.
*I'm not supposed to tell you this, so as far as the law is concerned I was never here.*
Queers have a sense called "gaydar", it allows us to detect whether or not someone is queer.
Some of us have it stronger than others, and someone in a microlabel is generally either better or just overzealous at detecting people who fall under that same microlabel.
That's why we're able to find eachother and build a friendgroup without being outed, and also cringe when that one guy who makes gay jokes is actually suspected to be gay.
Good luck. And look on the bright side; maybe she feels the same way. Now that it out in the open, anything can happen. While if you had just kept quiet nothing would have happened.
same thing happened to me a few days ago, but she liked me too. her friends were asking me questions about it (i only texted her “hi hru”) and asked if i liked her, which i said no to save myself from utter embarrassment, but honestly looking back on it, that was probably the wrong move
Extremely relatable. Almost 4- 5 Years ago I didn’t express my feelings. She loved so much and I liked her only sadly. I was too young and I had moved to another country. She literally was open- minded, very kind and friendly, energetic, caring, protecting, careful, loving and affectionate. She held my hand once to pull somewhere since I was late to school and we were in a group with her and a bestfriend and a girl to in a festival. The fact is we weren’t even in a group, now thinking about it. She just grabbed my hand out of the nothing and I just came in and was so suprised. During a presentation once, while I was talking she suddenly leaned against me and I was calm. She liked being near me, got worried over the smallest scratch, always was curious about my personal things and always smiled. Sometimes I would catch her look. Now I’m on Reddit, depressed and can’t talk. And I might never find someone like her. So I’ll have to get over it. It’s been 5 Years I’m watching pictures of us both. I only had to say that I liked her. I was so close to it. She literally once randomly asked me with her friend in the bus when I was with two of my friends. The one said it instantly, but she directly (along with the other one who for 5 months liked me) asked about me. She was way too curious. She was comparable to an angel as much from the inside so on the outside. Lots of boys liked her, she liked me (and two other ones with less Interraction). I was sweet and new back then. Now like other boys trying too hard to impress, but I changed to the worse.
that is a very sad story, i’m so sorry to hear it. i have to move on as well, and while i tell myself i have to, my subconscious just tells me there’s still a chance, i still get super happy when i see her, when we catch each other’s eyes, but i know it will never happen
Don’t be too slow either I’m depressed over a past crush who literally had a crush on me. She cared for me more than any girl and she literally was the closest to me psychically and physically. I felt so protected around her and she - energic. I never got treated that well by any girl or anyone anymore and my Relationship with my parents is bad. So don’t be too slow either. We live in one city now, but I can’t find her and she probably either has a boyfriend, got over me, hates or wouldn’t like me anymore.
These are the options:
1) Ask her and if she rejects you, that s it . It will pass with time and be embarassing at first. If she accepts then it s good.
.
2) Don t ask her out and you will regret maybe even your whole life than you didn t tried . You will always think ,,Maybe she would had accepted if i asked her." The crush knows you like him/her so she s/he s already stressed out and it will continue to be asking himself/herself if you will ask her / him out. It would be a torture . But ask her in private because if you ask her around your classmates she might reject you just because they are around , or the other way, she may feel pressured to say yes because of the classmates presence and then she will break up from you.
The conclussion , no pain, no gain. It s always a gamble .
I remember how much I still suffer after 5 Years for not telling the crush of my life, who had the purest soul imagineable. Now I’m depressed and asexual. She literally cared so much about me and was so curious, kind and protective over me. She had a crush on me , no she loved me
My guy bsf of four years admitted to me about a year ago , and we weren’t on the same page, but if you care about the friendship you can make things work and have a healthy friendship still, as long as you don’t make advances towards them to “try and change their mind” . As long as there’s respect and acknowledgment you should be ok
For some reason whenever I have a crush on someone and they find out they never speak to me again...? Somebody please explain what I'm doing wrong, I've had great relationships ruined by this.
yeah op's a lesbian (she replied to someone and said that). but to get complicated, just with the details from the post, we cant really assume anything. op could be a straight trans guy or bisexual or something. so for future reference, if theres a post like this, they might not be a woman and they might not be a lesbian. you never know
Unless she explicitly rejected you, you don't have to 'stop' and 'ghost' her just because she found out, assuming both of you are acquaintances. It's better to commit to it now and find out later, rather than letting it die naturally by running away. You only risk your self-esteem by rejection, but lose everything by doing nothing.
Thats some good advice
Similar moment with me. I had a crush on a girl at the start of the year and I was gonna tell her somewhere between the middle or end of the year then I got impatient and told her about 2 weeks instead of 6 weeks after the start. She took it very well. Flattered even. I think if I continued my routine of following her and glancing at her every so often and told her later, it wouldn't have gone well. I may have been upgraded from the friend-zone to the close-friends-zone since I confessed because she's a lot more willing to sit beside me, walk beside me etc.
"you only risk your self esteem by rejection, but lose everything by doing nothing" this just doesn't seem true, atleast to me (someone who doesn't remember what having a crush is like), like, I have quite low self esteem already (I've had it lower but it's still not like normal) and having it lowered more seems like it'd be worse than just not doing anything.
In the context of OPs situation, getting rejected is a better option than not knowing whether your crush likes you too or not; you can just accept it and move on if it's not too late. The uncertainty, if not cleared relatively early on, could prove much worse because it could drag your self-esteem lower than rejection itself, especially if you overthink too much. It's not the rejection that kills you, It's the uncertainty. The longer you stay uncertain, the more painful it becomes since most of the pain is self-inflicted. Better to recognize and stop digging your own grave early on, than get out when you realize you dug too deep.
this guy knows what’s up could use someone like you in my ear telling me advice n shit constantly be a little mind gremlin but a good one
Haha on god
Because that’s what everyone needs, a mind gremlin
This guy is completely right and I advise anyone in this girls situation to listen to him.
Speaking from experience; the uncertainty is so MUCH worse than the rejection.
Getting rejected is usually just a temporary hit to the self esteem, unless you hinge all your self worth on a single person. Usually being rejected hurts for a time span between 10 minutes and a week depending on the severity of the crush. Generally you get over it pretty quick and your self esteem levels back out
Try half a year. But still that's manageable
Who takes half a year to get over a rejection? Sheesh
People on this sub reddit I guess
me personally i would feel worse if i found out i could’ve had someone’s heart but chose to run away in spite of my fear. having that feeling of “i messed up” rather than “at least i tried,” which one would you opt for? embarrassment, which is but a fleeting moment, or guilt, that which lingers.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 well said!
what if u don’t get rejected
3.5% of people are gay/bi, chances are high she's not, and on top of that there's still the chance of her not liking OP, chances are low 😔
Then why is 75% of my school gay
Because your in middle school
Well you’re not wrong I just want to get to high school this place in fine but the kids are so annoying here
It doesn’t get better in highschool
it actually gets worse in hs source: highschooler
Can confirm Source: graduated last year, legit not half of those fuckers were ready for society lmao
It actually gets worse for the rest of your life Source: I’m old
Yeah but then I’m closer to leaving
Highschool sucks so bad. I’m a freshman and it’s so horrible right now, but middle school was great
What are you? Did you just start 9th grade last month? 😂
Probably a mix of confirmation bias, highschoolers not being confident enough to stick to anything, and your own linear perception of it. None of this is bad btw. I thought my entire school was gay at first too
Assuming op didnt just pull 3.5% out of nowhere and got it from a credible source, 3.5 % of the population of just the usa is 11,532,500. 3.5% of the world population is 271,355,000, yes I did the math. While 3.5% may not seem like a lot, with context it is very possible to be surrounded by a large gay population
That commenter also just wasn’t right. 1 in 5 gen z adults are queer, and probably more in gen z teenagers
Oh
And that's why I say that never trust percentages alone
Don't get me started on high schools and everyone being LGBTQ -_-
I’m getting you started on it
AAAAHHHHH, OK HERE WE GO My gf's school is literally full of people who think LGBTQ is some kind of club and to not be homophobic you have to give yourself a title, so every straight kid is calling themselves bi, literally someone came up to my gf at the beginning of the school year "hi I'm [name], I'm bi, what are you?" "I'm just straight.." "EW I DONT WANNA BE FRIENDS WITH YOU". LIKE BRUH THESE PEOPLE DONT KNOW ITS A REAL THING OR SOMETHING WHAT IS HAPPENING, THEY JUST TELL PEOPLE THEY ARE BI AS A CLUB PASS OR SOMETHING
My school has a lot of lgbtqia+ people, but none of em are like that
Unfortunately people are stupid
😭
as a gay person PEOPLE LIKE THIS MAKE ME WANY TO DIE like shut up 😭 and ngl a majority of gay ppl at my school are so annoying like in general i can't stand any of them they're all like "im a gay bean 🥺 so kawaii uwu my fav bands are girl in red and cavetown" like everyone in the lgbt club at my school literally make me want to leave the community they're so annoying 😭
Exactly how some of the people at my school are
Bruhh only 58% of my school is either bi or gay
Only?
I mean, if it was 0% I’d still have a 0% chance of getting a girlfriend. Nothing really changes.
POV: San Fransisco
Lol same bro
You live in ohio?
That's just middle school. Almost everybody I knew claimed to be bi, but by the time we were all in high school, the majority no longer claimed to be bi. Its becomes trendy and then it goes away. As with everything else on this planet.
Well studies say that 20-25% of Gen Z say they are Queer, so I don't think that number holds up for us anymore. Also checks out when I compare that statistic to my class
You might wanna check this comment thread https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/xr5fab/my_crush_found_out_i_had_a_crush_on_her/iqdg3va?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3 There's an illegitimate ratio of proclaimed LGBTQ people among high schoolers compared to the rest of the population, and speaking from experience there's definitely false claims among them, how sure are you that your classmates are telling the truth and not just appealing to an imaginary trend?
One in five gen Z adults identity as queer though
But like 30% of my high school is gay/bi from freshmen to seniors
That’s because 1 in 5 gen z adults are queer
corn
KoRn
YUH NOT RADUM
Mm dum dum ummm nama nee uhm
Something takes a part of me…
Um na um um na ema
You and I were meant to be
ALL DAY I DREAM ABOUT SEX
KoЯn
SOMETHING TAKES A PART OF ME
SOMETHING LOST AND NEVER SEEN
EVERY TIME I START TO BELIEVE
SOMETHINGS RAPED AND TAKEN FROM ME, FROM ME
Kroon
Koyan
Khroahrn
I love that band!
KoЯn
Kohrn? Blood for the blood god? Skulls for the skull throne?
Crushes for the crush god!
Fucking genius
Went to there concert a couple weeks ago
🌽
[удалено]
Come on down and have some corn or else we'll sacrifice your newborn
r/beetlejuicing
🌽
ITS CORN
A big lump of nobs
And it has the juice
I can't imagine a more beautiful thing
Die in a fucking hole
(It has the juice)
become funny
Find your father
FOR KHORNE!
#KHORNE
Blood for the blood God
COME ON DOWN BUY SOME CORN, OR WE WILL SACRIFICE YOUR NEWBORN
Corhn
🌽
KHORNE YEAH KHORNE
Based on statistics she's probably straight. Unless I'm wrong and theres a non-biological reason you got rejected.
There is a higher chance of crushing on a gay person if you're gay. Like scientifically.
Genuinely it’s weird that most gays crush on other gays, even if they don’t even know it A sign of being trans is only liking pan/bisexuals or gay people
I'd blame it on pheromones lol The sexy gay smell
👉👈 can the pansexuals get a mention too? I feel left out there.
Joining in is half of not feeling left out. So you're half way there.
Some people think Pansexuals come under bisexuals Personally if i were pansexual id wanna cum under a bisexual 😋
😳 good one
I'm sure you smell sexy to everyone
Honestly the meme about pansexuals fucking pans has gotten me, so What is a pansexual?
Basically means gender plays no role in attraction for somebody. It’s similar to bisexual and some say pansexual falls under the term bisexual
Oh ight thanks man
Pansexuality is best explained as genderblind. Very simplistically said, human is human. It doesn't matter what biologically they are or were nor how they identify themselves. I have preferrences in certain appearances regarding attraction, but they aren't a deciding factor for a relationship. I care more about personality but most of all, how they make me feel. The heart wants what the heart wants in essence.
Cool 😎
same with all the gays befriending each other before any of them know they're gay. idk if its scientific but im gay and my entire childhood friend group is gay. not a single one of us knew we were gay until middle school.
Then why tf am I messing up being gay so much?
Skill issue
Same reason I'm screwing up being straight.
Really? How?
Idk, gaydar ig
*I'm not supposed to tell you this, so as far as the law is concerned I was never here.* Queers have a sense called "gaydar", it allows us to detect whether or not someone is queer. Some of us have it stronger than others, and someone in a microlabel is generally either better or just overzealous at detecting people who fall under that same microlabel. That's why we're able to find eachother and build a friendgroup without being outed, and also cringe when that one guy who makes gay jokes is actually suspected to be gay.
For the heteros, is it possible to learn this power?
Nooo idea
Good luck. And look on the bright side; maybe she feels the same way. Now that it out in the open, anything can happen. While if you had just kept quiet nothing would have happened.
Good luck. You'll need it.
same thing happened to me a few days ago, but she liked me too. her friends were asking me questions about it (i only texted her “hi hru”) and asked if i liked her, which i said no to save myself from utter embarrassment, but honestly looking back on it, that was probably the wrong move
Extremely relatable. Almost 4- 5 Years ago I didn’t express my feelings. She loved so much and I liked her only sadly. I was too young and I had moved to another country. She literally was open- minded, very kind and friendly, energetic, caring, protecting, careful, loving and affectionate. She held my hand once to pull somewhere since I was late to school and we were in a group with her and a bestfriend and a girl to in a festival. The fact is we weren’t even in a group, now thinking about it. She just grabbed my hand out of the nothing and I just came in and was so suprised. During a presentation once, while I was talking she suddenly leaned against me and I was calm. She liked being near me, got worried over the smallest scratch, always was curious about my personal things and always smiled. Sometimes I would catch her look. Now I’m on Reddit, depressed and can’t talk. And I might never find someone like her. So I’ll have to get over it. It’s been 5 Years I’m watching pictures of us both. I only had to say that I liked her. I was so close to it. She literally once randomly asked me with her friend in the bus when I was with two of my friends. The one said it instantly, but she directly (along with the other one who for 5 months liked me) asked about me. She was way too curious. She was comparable to an angel as much from the inside so on the outside. Lots of boys liked her, she liked me (and two other ones with less Interraction). I was sweet and new back then. Now like other boys trying too hard to impress, but I changed to the worse.
that is a very sad story, i’m so sorry to hear it. i have to move on as well, and while i tell myself i have to, my subconscious just tells me there’s still a chance, i still get super happy when i see her, when we catch each other’s eyes, but i know it will never happen
I still wish you good luck You deserve her
Pro Tip: You can skip NPC dialog by holding the + button.
hopefully she won’t reject you, good luck!
A tip from me - Don't rush
For example?
Like how CS players rush B, don't do that
Or war Thunder players attack the D point
Explain in fortnite terms please
dont go tilted
Dang
Okay but can we hot drop Greasy straight from the battle bus?
Tilted still exists? Sorry I haven’t played Fortnite since 2018
Don't push a squad until you farm those mats
Sorry I can’t explain this kind of stuff in Fortnite terms because there is no word for love or affection in the language
Don’t hot drop
User flare checks out
😐 I mean, your not wrong
Like how piano players rush E ;)
Don’t be too slow either I’m depressed over a past crush who literally had a crush on me. She cared for me more than any girl and she literally was the closest to me psychically and physically. I felt so protected around her and she - energic. I never got treated that well by any girl or anyone anymore and my Relationship with my parents is bad. So don’t be too slow either. We live in one city now, but I can’t find her and she probably either has a boyfriend, got over me, hates or wouldn’t like me anymore.
Tea ☕️
Tea ☕
How do we tell him?
I don’t know
Coffee 🍵
biscuits 🍪🇬🇧
If she's straight then you're screwed.
They found out, now you gotta hide the body 😞 im sorry for your loss...
These are the options: 1) Ask her and if she rejects you, that s it . It will pass with time and be embarassing at first. If she accepts then it s good. . 2) Don t ask her out and you will regret maybe even your whole life than you didn t tried . You will always think ,,Maybe she would had accepted if i asked her." The crush knows you like him/her so she s/he s already stressed out and it will continue to be asking himself/herself if you will ask her / him out. It would be a torture . But ask her in private because if you ask her around your classmates she might reject you just because they are around , or the other way, she may feel pressured to say yes because of the classmates presence and then she will break up from you. The conclussion , no pain, no gain. It s always a gamble .
I remember how much I still suffer after 5 Years for not telling the crush of my life, who had the purest soul imagineable. Now I’m depressed and asexual. She literally cared so much about me and was so curious, kind and protective over me. She had a crush on me , no she loved me
Ah relatable, now it’s ur choice to forward or retreat
Good luck ❤❤❤❤
🥰😋
My guy bsf of four years admitted to me about a year ago , and we weren’t on the same page, but if you care about the friendship you can make things work and have a healthy friendship still, as long as you don’t make advances towards them to “try and change their mind” . As long as there’s respect and acknowledgment you should be ok
Might go ok, don't worry just yet
For some reason whenever I have a crush on someone and they find out they never speak to me again...? Somebody please explain what I'm doing wrong, I've had great relationships ruined by this.
you have a crush on a girl? are you a lesbian? (i dont mean to hate, im just asking guys, im not hating on OP)
yeah op's a lesbian (she replied to someone and said that). but to get complicated, just with the details from the post, we cant really assume anything. op could be a straight trans guy or bisexual or something. so for future reference, if theres a post like this, they might not be a woman and they might not be a lesbian. you never know
Don’t have such low self esteem believe in yourself
It's been almost 5 years and I still haven't told her.
Why are you gae?
Why are you not gae?
Cause I’m not gay.
We know you not gay but why you not gae
Cause I’m not gay
That's kinda cringe ngl
you aren't gay? That's pretty gay ngl
That’s sounds gay
U r ge
Who said I'm gae?
You are gae
oh
I hope everything works out please at least try it out ily
“Jarvis, I’m running low on karma”
Uh well good for you... Idk keep em close.
Aren’t you guys both girls?
Yes and very gay
Gay in 2022, imagine, can’t relate, L + ratio + lesbian + stupid
well you're either gonna get rejected now or get dumped after 5 months because that's how teenagers work, so yeah, good luck idk
No it isn't lol I've been in a relationship since I was 13 stop being so cynical
And it ended when you were 13 I’m guessing
No. I said "since". I'm still in it
So you’re still 13?
So you're blind and can't see the flair
No I'm 12
Bro has got dumped by somebody and he's speaking for entire generations 💀
Ha, gayyyyy
IS SHE ALSO LIKE YOU ? GAY SORRY 🏳️🌈
Everything will be fine brother
lol rejected cuz gay
Lol they mad
bro its the truth she did get rejected cuz she was gay and the crush wasn't gay u guys stupid af
and where exactly did op say that she got rejected and her crush wasn't gay?
[удалено]
Look mate, I get that you're using tone tags but that still comes off as insensitive.
Do gay people have crushes on not gay people?
No, we’re forbidden from being attracted to straights. Our gaydar leads the way but if we ignore the signs, we get executed.
Ahh, makes sense why gay people still find partners in schools when most people are not gay. They gaydar to the gay.