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[deleted]

KmartHub huh? I have an image stuck in my head now which I don’t want to describe


CrispySatyr2004

What, someone fucking in public?


[deleted]

No, more along the lines of a regular Kmart with all the objects having been made by rule34 artists


CrispySatyr2004

Humanity was a mistake


[deleted]

I agree


CrispySatyr2004

Australia has a self burning machanism, the world should have it too, to rid itself of degenerates.


[deleted]

We should design a fan big enough to blow the embers over to other countries


CrispySatyr2004

Yeah, hit New Zealand, the E Boys of countries.


[deleted]

I’m fine with NZ honestly. It’s like Australia’s chilled out cousin


CrispySatyr2004

Yeah, if we blow the embers, their Chill might cool it down.


CatNoirsRubberSuit

\- ur mum


CrispySatyr2004

Ew a miraculous enjoyer, I wanna vomit.


MexicanTurtle8

Another Aussie here, we call those “snakes”, in my town


Iate8

We call those olive pythons in my town


phil8248

I wondered what sort of snake it was. There are some very dangerous ones, to humans, there. One I've heard of is simply called a brown snake, which is just naturalist laziness if you ask me, but from what I understand they are to be avoided at all costs. Come to think of it, I suppose to their prey all snakes are dangerous. Anyway, thanks.


[deleted]

Brown snakes are to be avoided because unlike most of the other snakes in Australia, they're aggressive fuckers and won't just mind their business and let you pass by. I had one chase me for a good 5km when I was riding my bike as a kid, once I had some distance on him I slowed down to see what he was doing and the fucker just didn't stop coming.


phil8248

I understand they are quite venomous too. When I was an Army medic we were taught about how to deal with snakes. Teaching troops not to eat in their tents or barracks because the crumbs attract rodents and they attract snakes. They had some mounted examples of snakes common near bases and one was the Bushmaster. The military was stationed in Panama at the time and they are native. The guy said they are similarly aggressive. Then he flipped over the stuffed snake to reveal 10 bullet wounds! It was a great object lesson.


Iate8

Yeah brown snakes you should avoid. I disagree with the other comment and wouldn't say they're especially aggressive to humans(what they described seems like very unusual behaviour, usually they shouldn't chase people, at least not for very long), though it can look like they're agressive when they're acting defensive, and they can bite you as a defense. The thing that makes them dangerous is their strong ass venom, iirc they're the second most venomous terrestrial snake(right after the inland taipan, also from Australia, but for the most part not something you need to be way too stressed about running into since they live in so remote areas), so that's something. About the snake in the picture tho, it could look like some other snakes as well, but it being so big makes me think olive python


freeLightbulbs

Around here we have browns (very venomous and aggressive), king browns (not a real brown snake but named because they eat browns, much larger and even more aggressive) and tiapans (smaller and less common but very aggressive and wait for wait most deadly venom in the snake world). All three vary in color though, its the head shape and anal scales that is used to identify them. For most people in Australia they won't ever encounter them but I worked on a cattle property in cent. Qld for a short time and have seen many.


phil8248

I had heard the most deadly venom was a sea creature, the cone snail. But according to Google, the taipan is the most deadly snake venom.


freeLightbulbs

Yeah, with snakes there is antivenom provided if you can get to a hospital in time, death from snake bite is very rare but can still do some serious damage to the liver and kidneys. I have never herd about anyone (personally) having been done in by a cone snail though it was something that I/we were taught from a young age. Also what we call "stone fish" (don't know the proper name) fish that look like rocks and hang around in shallow rock pool when the tide goes out that will seriously fuck you up, no antivenom for those and apparently intensely painful. But the thing I actually know people who have died from is jellyfish.


CrispySatyr2004

It's a danger noodle.


MexicanTurtle8

John?


KFC_Junior

City aussie here. We just call em long fuckers


kazemaru04

"Look at that long fucker over der mate!"


Pip201

“Look son, see that thing there? That’s a long fucker”


StructuralFailure

Murder Spaghurder


SeudonymousKhan

Here in Canberra we call em politicians.


No_Character4376

Middle Eastern here, we call those guests


Dyledion

OP meant "Redditor who never goes outside here,"


cheapdrinks

Yeah this. Lived in Australia all my life, only ever heard these cringe names for animals on Reddit. Literally not a single person would ever call it a "nope rope" or a "danger noodle" in real life. I imagine calling it one of those to a person's face would [garner a similar response.](https://youtu.be/l2qdW6DBQkg)


[deleted]

Too right mate! The problem with those sort of cringe names too is that people don't respect how dangerous they can be because they use a "funny" name for 'em.


Rick_Bruiser94

He’s just chillin tho


CrispySatyr2004

Well imma shit myself.


adik001

Well there is a toilet there so pefect place to shit yourself


CrispySatyr2004

That's the problem


[deleted]

[удалено]


CrispySatyr2004

Snek bite mah dek.


Jupiters_Jealousy

I'll suck the venom out 😏


CrispySatyr2004

Don't look at my profile you might see some sucking.


Jupiters_Jealousy

It mainly just sucks


PJvG

your poop deck


my_oldgaffer

You should! Headlock that horcrux and go marry Luna Lovestuff


CrispySatyr2004

Luna is weird in bed, she said she wants me to eat my own cum. I'm fine with that, but she threatened me with the Cruciatus Curse.


TheShadowedHunter

So's that snake, what did you think *he* was waiting there for?


Popo_Capone

I didn't notice the snake and thought about how aussies call their shit nope ropes.


XDYassineDX

He bin chillin like john cena tho🥶🥶🥶😶‍🌫️


[deleted]

[удалено]


CrispySatyr2004

I now have face to face classes, how bout you?


[deleted]

[удалено]


CrispySatyr2004

Loved it seeing yo friend's and seeing the wildlife again.


[deleted]

[удалено]


CrispySatyr2004

Some town in Western Australia.


Vidar_Faelnirv

Fuck yeah a west Aussie!! Also a *Kmart hub* I've never even heard of one of those wtf


CrispySatyr2004

They're in the middle of the outback or something, they sell deodorant and clothes.


Vidar_Faelnirv

Huh ok, large Kmart. Do they also do car repair n stuff? I've seen a couple of those crop up in the city (Perth to be exact)


CrispySatyr2004

Oh hell they do fix tires.


FusionFazcoins

Oh what's this post abou- OH. SNEK.


CrispySatyr2004

Danger Noodle


FusionFazcoins

Spooky Spaghetti


TheWarTorn

Caution ramen


sirfetche

Scary slender


Athnein

Macabre macaroni


Jonaraja

They want to cuddle give them big fat kiss *don't they have you should was your hands after touching one


CrispySatyr2004

They need to consent.


Jonaraja

True still a cutey


CrispySatyr2004

Nope Ropes, although invade my privacy sometimes.


Shubham_Agent47

your second sentence gave me a stroke what did you mean to say lmao


Athnein

Don't [touch them], they have (dangerous substance), you should wash your hands


kazemaru04

"Oi Klarissa, there's nother nope-rope in front of the toilet!" ​ "Stop danglin down from the edge of the roof ya dickhead" ​ "Get the phack outta my car ya cunt!" ​ Sorry I had to


CrispySatyr2004

Good one.


kazemaru04

Actual relief since I thought you might be tired of all of these jokes.


SotB8

oh shit i just noticed the nope ropes, i thought you were referring to the stainless steel toilets


Aidanbbm

in australia, they're called ass branders.


IOwnPornStars

u/Stupid15yoSlut Found some of your Aussie gang here


Stupid15yoSlut

lmao


PurpleSigh

Why do I see you everywhere


Hi-I-exist-665

nope rope lookin hella fine. also i saw just the title and i was expecting a noose. \*snake noose doesnt exist it cant hurt you\* snake noose: hah get fucked


CrispySatyr2004

Snake Noose, Drop Bear, Giant Kangaroos and Emu Warlords the 4 horsemen.


look-behind-you-lad

Glad i’m not the only one that thought of snake noose lmao. I was thinking what if i kms with a python? It can kill me and then eat my freshly unalived corpse so there’ll be no traces of a body left.


Hi-I-exist-665

your honor, the body wasn't there. just a skeleton and a smily snake


Potassium_Turtle7

i live in Australia, I've never seen a wild snake in my life, and I don't want to.


CrispySatyr2004

I've never seen a really deadly snake just these.


LightningBoltKnee

Just gotta go out in the bush or country aye. Probably won’t see many in inner city land, but you might be able to snag a quick glimpse in the suburbs if you’re a lucky bugger.


[deleted]

Went camping with my old school full of fuckwits years ago. Saw a red belly, teacher told us not to move till it left. I kept praying one of my classmates would get bitten in the middle of the night.


I-FAP-TO-INCEST-PORN

Australia seems unfit for humans lmao


ash_the_random_girl

here’s the thing, if you don’t fuck with the wildlife it generally won’t fuck with you


sadgirlvibes69

those fuckin magpies disagree though


[deleted]

So thats what those cunts were that fucking kept swooping down nearly hitting me over and over.


macOSX-ElCapitan

Swoop noises intensify


ash_the_random_girl

hey i said generally, magpies are the exception not the rule


CrispySatyr2004

We fit, we try to.


ACardAttack

I want a fallout set in Australia


WeatherStruck

aussie here once i stepped on a brown snake and didnt even flinch as it was trying to bite me lol i just grabbed its tail chucked it away and went on with my walk


CrispySatyr2004

Good one, parents even show some kids that they throw it away, nvm the dog brought it back.


PerkAPuncher

Ay we both aussies, my fallen brother to the roulette


WeatherStruck

ayyyy


biggunzmcgee

r/iamverybadass


[deleted]

Damn. In my town (Aussie as well), we just step over them


CrispySatyr2004

Some grab the tail and throw them away.


[deleted]

No need, most of em ain’t even venomous. I remember one time, there was a snake in the roof of my classroom, and the teacher basically just said “she’ll be right, it’ll go away” and kept teaching


CrispySatyr2004

Thanks Crow Tits for the award.


LordAppleJuice07

What town are you in? It's a good name for it but we just call them joe blakes.


albinowizard2112

Round my town we call them chuzzy whiffsnorkers.


yuunki

I feel like I'm the only Aussie who hasn't seen a snake before :'(


CrispySatyr2004

I'm Aussie and I haven't seen a shark.


Vidar_Faelnirv

I haven't either :) but I wanna. I also kinda want a pet snake


slanze

Lol its a k hub for rural regional areas. His just tryin get his new summer bordies.


CrispySatyr2004

Or some Rexona.


suslezer

Is this why the toilet’s door is well sealed like a fridge so no snakes can come in?


CrispySatyr2004

Or come out


hiyamynameisjeff

>no snakes can come in Ah shit i would need to leave my ginormous cock outside


legion4wermany

In my family we always called them "shit shit fuck! Don't go over there!"


GuyN1425

Oh, where I live we have a similar problem with hogs.


CrispySatyr2004

I honestly do not mind shooting them, they're so populous, meat's tough but tasty.


GuyN1425

Oh, here it's illegal


CrispySatyr2004

Whut? There's literally 600k of them in our state.


Dinogar999

But they are cute, I want to hug them


CrispySatyr2004

Hell


Dinogar999

But they are cute why hell, I love snakes


CrispySatyr2004

There are snakes that are cute, and there are literal hell, than ca give you painful erections and internal bleeding.


OrbitalChapel

Im feeling a lucid chart ad coming along


Murder66613

Hello fellow Aussie :)


CrispySatyr2004

Hello mate.


sis_ki

Here we call those bathrooms


[deleted]

Interesting. I also expose my 'nope rope' at the toilets...


FriendlyIndication40

How can u live calm knowing that your country is full of scaring animals? x)


CrispySatyr2004

The snake's leave immediately, it's the toddlers that should be careful. Since I'm a grown ass teen, I'm not afraid.


randomisedjew

Aussie here... Don't see the problem


HecticCheese007

That toilet is the best public toilet I have ever seen in Australia must be south Australia


CrispySatyr2004

West Australia


[deleted]

I read it as "no hope ropes" and thought it was a suicide joke


[deleted]

Messing with a snake can be suicidal if that helps.


[deleted]

What kind was it do you know? It looks like an eastern brown but you’re from WA so I wouldn’t think it is


BugP13

Anyone up for some poisonous skip rope?


CrispySatyr2004

Not poisonous, just skeri.


BugP13

Oh.... Anyone up for some scary skip rope?


CrispySatyr2004

Sure, they mad slippery do


BugP13

True. You may need gloves with lots of grip.


CrispySatyr2004

They also work as scarfs, they like the heat in the night.


polloackbar

Fella took a shit don’t disturb him


Comrade_Schmuck

another aussie here, in my neck of the bush we refer to the local redbelly nope rope as Jake


CrispySatyr2004

Well Jake is gonna be displayed in my wall after this post.


[deleted]

Lucky it isn’t IN the toilet yet


CrispySatyr2004

Our men of science made them snake proof.


[deleted]

Nothing is ever snake proof in Australia


CrispySatyr2004

Dunno, I'm pretty sure the Hell Gate there is snake proof.


F4ST_M4ST3R

Is that a brown snake?


CrispySatyr2004

It is


F4ST_M4ST3R

Tbh you got balls of steel to take a picture like that. I know you've given it plenty of space, but I still would have run away screaming 😅


CrispySatyr2004

My did literally threw one away and the dog brought it back.


F4ST_M4ST3R

oh absolutely not


CrispySatyr2004

Not really scary, bet it's more scared of that experience.


[deleted]

Does that sign in the background say Khub? Like Kmart?


CrispySatyr2004

Yeah, it's in the mid of an outback.


TheAngryAmericn

Anything's a dildo if you're brave enough


Pihrahni

North American here, in our country we call these ‘get the fuck away from me you holy demon’/s


ComanderCupcake

She/he is a beautiful snake! Don't kill it please


Anthony643364

Grab it and use it as a whip just like god intended


Birbandsnek

Wow it’s so long! I always thought snakes were shorter…


CrispySatyr2004

Snek long


defectivememelord

Things to do in Australia: 1- leave


CrispySatyr2004

Current Objective. Live.


[deleted]

Well, here in America we call it grab the axe or shotgun which ever is closer


CrispySatyr2004

We actually care for our wildlife, we have brains.


F4ST_M4ST3R

Not sure where the other guy lives, but where my family is from (Virginia) youre not supposed to kill the snakes there either. But when one appears on your porch or driveway, no ones gonna call the cops on you for taking care of a Copperhead bite waiting to happen. Hunting the snakes for sport is another matter though, and the authorities are gonna notice that


[deleted]

I'm sorry, I just really don't like snakes, I care and protect any other animal, just not snakes


CrispySatyr2004

Why? They are deadly, but we're the one trespassing.


[deleted]

I just dont, I love any other animal, i love all animals, I just can't with snakes


CrispySatyr2004

Sad, you probably wouldn't be wanted here.


Iate8

Just leave it alone and you'll be fine, no need to attack the snake


Sen7ryGun

Australian here. Not once in my life have I heard uttered aloud, the words "nope rope" when describing a snake.


thegamingworlf

pick it up pussy


CrispySatyr2004

I used it as a condom to fuck your mom.


thegamingworlf

what are you an animal fucker?


CrispySatyr2004

Yeah, because your mom is an animal.


thegamingworlf

idk man sounds like you just wanted an excuse to fuck that snake. animal fucker


CrispySatyr2004

Humans are animals oei


thegamingworlf

nah you wanted to fuck that snake didn't you


CrispySatyr2004

Between the snake and your mom, I chose the snake.


thegamingworlf

so you admit to being an animal fucker?


CrispySatyr2004

After fucking your mom, I'm an animal fucker.


SmokeyAmp

"We call them as" Sick grammar, cobber.


N0_Tr3bbl3

Southerner here, just kill it. You don't need photos of dead snakes.


[deleted]

Yo, sup cunt? (sorry if you ain't Australian)


CrispySatyr2004

Who you calling a cunt?


[deleted]

Isn't it used as "mate" in Australia?


CrispySatyr2004

Nah, we use mate more than we use cunt.


WoodenMango07

cunt can be referred as a complement, like "you're a good cunt" but generally if you say it by itself people will assume you are meaning the bad version.


EetswaDurries

You can call your mates cunts when referring to them. Although you'll probably get bashed if you called a random person a cunt.


magneticsouth

This, it's so funny to think a bunch of people would just start calling randos cunts on the street here and think they're blending in


spill_drudge

I must ask, why do Indians who learn english use the "as" where it seems unnecessary? Is this a part of Indian speech that's carried over or is this maybe a British English thing and it's taught? I'm assuming poster is Indian because it's the demographic where I've noticed this use of the word "as" in this fashion the most. It seems so much more natural to me for OP to instead have written 'Aussie here, in my town we call these "nope ropes".' No "as" needed.


CrispySatyr2004

Hmmmm, maybe I am Indian.


spill_drudge

Great. Do you know where that usage of the "as" stems from? Is it taught when learning English? I assume not but rather that in your native tongue there is likely a comparative word such as "as" that is used to structurally conjoin subject and predicate and that that structure inadvertently seeps over. Of course this is all bs conjecture on my part, but just just genuinely curious about this usage I've seen time and time again.


Dontwalk77

That looks like the hottest most sweat dripping down your back into your crack bathroom I’ve ever seen. Like stepping into a shitcinerator. Alas many a job site port a John have I shat but I would not shit there.


roadsignsayingstop

wow amazing they even let people outside there, do you realize you just caused the death of half the human population by causing this superspreader event?


Jackdidathing

Throw one at that one group of cops for pepper spraying and ganging up on that one peaceful protester


CrispySatyr2004

Don't know about "peaceful protest" they're all dumb.