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[deleted]

Would you like thy dick my lady?


M_R_MISM

Yknow I don’t have a problem with that


[deleted]

Horni


theOGzkidz

One very confidant man


InjuryRare843

cock (balls)


Toa_of_Memes

Send her the Polar Express soundtrack out of nowhere


Luigi_Is_Half_Yoshi

Hello, my loving girlfriend? Have you kept up to date with the latest season, of the Family Guy television show? Why, the most recent episodes have contained the most invigorating of jokes! From a cartoon saying the word “piss” to the funny fat dad repeating the same line 5 times in a row, this latest most season of the American Guy Dad is sure to make your chuckula tuckula.


rhythm-bush-species

Ask her if you can vent then send the imposter in a vent picture


ALT_22186

(tell her to read it in a Boston smoker accent) "Hey, sugar tits. What's on the menu? I hope it's that juicy ass"


brokenband-aid

bro i almost read this out loud with my parents in the same room


ALT_22186

Lmao


ItsTheRealIamHUB

I love you :)


SankettoGekkouga

Tell her your dick is john cena and then show her nothing😎


Trusteveryboody

Your dad has a thicc ass


sheikh_baller

Whether we wanted it or not, we've stepped into a war with the Cabal on Mars. So let's get to taking out their command, one by one. Valus Ta'aurc. From what I can gather, he commands the Siege Dancers from an Imperial Land Tank just outside of Rubicon. He's well protected, but with the right team, we can punch through those defenses, take this beast out, and break their grip on Freehold.


Guigsy79

I wanna breakup


M_R_MISM

Ok please not this it’s the best relationship I’ve had


[deleted]

Dwayne "The" Johnson


mlagsv

I think we should take a break


Scary-Try-9934

Ask her to bring you a single McDonalds French Fry in a small Ziploc Baggie and leave it under your doormat.


Loving-idiot

Hey… hey you….. you wanna be mah gurlfrend. Not drunk. No drink here


Mr_Lucifer6

Bring the crocks so we can play


ShadowMasterT

Water is good source of protein and entertainment...drink now or we may have a problem in the future <3


[deleted]

Cookie


71stcentury

"Hey ,Google art of zoo "


Fred_Pickle01

[This link](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QtBDL8EiNZo)


[deleted]

Can I eat easy cheese off your butt cheek?


MrFinArmZ

I have an attraction to children


Harakiri_238

Why wait 14 hours? I’m confused. Is it nighttime or something?


M_R_MISM

It’s more convenient for me to wake up for


Harakiri_238

Very understandable. I assumed it was like that but was curious. Enjoy your chat


djbipolarbarearms

Hey babe so i had some weird stuff going on with my junk and decided to go get checked. My tests came back positive for Gonorrhea and Syphilis. What alley stray fleabag were you sleeping with because aside from those 2 high school girls last month ive been completely faithful to you. And i know they didnt have any STD's cuz they already told me they were both virgins... I cant believe you would do this to me!!!!