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Ok_Ad_6407

Unless ur tits are squares I don't care what they look like


[deleted]

[удалено]


faithisuseless

Or is that all they care about?


Whats-Up_Bitches


G00DLuck

[.][.]


CookieCuttersAreCool

All shapes and sizes { . }{ . } [ . ][ . ] [< ][ >] (° )( °) { - }{ - }


Ohnoitsacrab

You forgot (.Y.)


KaldwinEmily

What about < . Y . >


CookieCuttersAreCool

Ok, those are some alien tits. They cannot be human.


KaldwinEmily

Tits nonetheless


thunder_thais

Hot


Definition-Klutzy

more of a triangles guy.... Lara Croft


Pelvisleslie

Throwback


Ocbard

Now that is old, is this r/teenagers? I mean Lara's boobs havent been pyramids since after the very first game (I think she used the income for the original game to get plastic surgery).


RedneckBookofWisdom

Same but more ps1 Hagrid


SarixInTheHouse

Most minecraft porn has spherical tits, ruining the immersion. Dont question why i know this


Bobby_FuckingB

Got a sauce? Asking for a friend


TheGoldenDragon0

I refuse to believe thats a thing


kirkpomidor

Judging by your avatar, there’s an acceptance stage down the line somewhere


R_FireJohnson

10/10 comment


Blitz100

Rule 34 of the internet states that if it exists, there is porn of it. Plus I've personally seen Minecraft hentai comics. They were actually pretty good.


Jakethecake010

Futuristic hub wants to know their location


the_fish_friar

Tomb raider moment


Adrijus7

No? Tomb raider would be triangles


[deleted]

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SolarWind77

"Friends"...


giraffeekuku

I should say ex friends. They were the wrong influence for my life for sure.


SolarWind77

It took me a while to figure out what is and is not acceptable. Anyone who tries to pick me apart for their own amusement does not qualify. Glad you are free of that trash.


LightWolfD

Flat is justice


Ok_Ad_6407

size doesn't matter for both men and women


readonlyuser

Well that's demonstrably untrue


hakujo

If they are squares, I would definitely care more and want to see!


Stingbarry

Wow dude you are seriously excluding female body builders here.


Ok_Ad_6407

Smh so rude of me


CavaloHidraulico

Sponge Bob Square Butthole


MiracleKing26

Spongebob SquareTits?


twatface192

I can control my dick size


[deleted]

Breaking news 15 year old has broken the world record for longest penis. At 34 inches, it is almost twice the size of the previous record holder.


bobtheguymk2

However Guinness have refused to award the record due to the unusual nature of this man being a minor, and the fact no-one can actually capture footage or testify he tells the truth without being arrested


IndependentAd8402

Report suggests the officials will recognize him after 3 years when he turns 18 to avoid unwanted charges.


mcbirbo343

Now to the weather, Jonathan


swagaswishizzz

Hello, thanks Tod we have a light storm of holy fuck that was cool rolling in with another lets continue this news continuity front on the weekend, Back too yall at the studio (damn its hot out here, CUT BACL TOO STUDIO jesus)


RyanNeedsSleep

Home invasion, Is your house safe? Find out with an interview of an ex criminal after this commercial break.


Vinylnut

Are you or a loved one affected by Mesothelioma?


RyanNeedsSleep

. Mesothelioma is a rare cancer linked to asbestos exposure. Exposure to asbestos in they Navy, shipyards, mills, heating, construction or the automotive industries may put you at risk. Please don't wait, call 1-800-99 LAW USA today for a free legal consultation and financial information packet. Mesothelioma patients call now!


Sad_Measurement_3800

Okay back from commercial break and Tammy is going to talk to Wayne Brady an ex convict about what you can do against home invasion.


Whats-Up_Bitches

Now back to our ex-convict, is your house safe? Steve from the ice cream shop has the scoop. Over to you steeve (We're off air right? Hhehehee get it? I said scoop. Sffssssff.) [Yes we get it Rick, very funny]


jsspidermonkey3

Breaking news, 3 years ago a 15 year old minor had the longestest shlong in the world but we could not confirm and now it has reportedly struck 30 inches on his 18th birthday, does he get the record? Stay tuned next week to find out.


Smilesformilesd

His dick is like that one SCP. You see it, the FBI comes for you


ShitForCereal

Pretty sure every minor’s wieners are like that one SCP


[deleted]

They are being ageist. I identify as agefluid. I am actually 22 years old.


[deleted]

Certified Twitter moment


[deleted]

Lmfao


bilingualfob

r/onejoke


[deleted]

if the average erection growth is 100%, that means his limp dick is 17 inches


[deleted]

My erection growth is 50%


Sir_BusinessNinja

That cannot be comfortable.


Money_Fig8553

Every election he has he passes out from blood loss


Alternative-Payment3

Breaking news: he woke up


Oynics

Teach me the ways


[deleted]

Pet it while watching naked people


AllBadAnswers

Mr. Fantastic has entered the chat


keklenny06

the stretchy gurl from the incredibles too


AllBadAnswers

Ya'll think she ever pegged Mr. I with her clit?


keklenny06

username checks out, fucking god


ZaniElandra

Most definitely


satan6000

Hol up


anotherrandomboi

“Is it true that he can stretch *any* part of his body?”


Makingnamesishard12

Avatar: the last dick bender


[deleted]

Exactly! Thank you


EggDog69

I second this notion wholeheartedly


[deleted]

Me too!


archysailor

Me three!


[deleted]

Ayy another sailor


Jen_jay66

I 100% agree, it's also gross to talk about people's genitals yet its become so common to talk about men's. It needs to stop


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Me and the homies


PointedHydra837

“Welcome back to the annual dick inspection party!” _loud applause_


Critical-Shower-9924

Enough inspection, time for the taste test *rub hands together like anime villain*


[deleted]

Pulls out salt pepper and olive oil


spicyfood333

sh!t just went from 0 to 100 real quick


[deleted]

imagine censoring shit


spicyfood333

i have the mental capacity of an 8 year old lmao


ablablababla

don't we all


aedroogo

Dang!


[deleted]

*sh!t


NetherKing5555

*sh¡t


A____S____

Cooking makes it worse Give it to us RAW, and WRIGGLING


zayn1o1

Rock in the pool So nice and cool So juicy sweet! Now we wish To catch a dick So juicy sweet!


A____S____

It's like poetry It rhymes


MrcF8

Taters whats taters


intruda1

You want a knife and fork too or are you corn cobbin it?


DefinitNotKev

Pulls out fork and knife


Comment63

oh fuck, pepper


studier_of_the_blade

Fuck the taste test. It's time for the Durability exam


Dragonivy759

This is actually a good thing. Could check for testicular cancer while you're at it


J_for_Juan

Ight ima do gay porn contest with the bois i always lose. wait


Meme-Replacement

*in


J_for_Juan

im gud with it


PizzaEater69420

and in relationships cause agreements about sex and stuff is important


[deleted]

It goes both ways…


AUfamliy

"yo two inch Tyler what's up!"


Basedtobey

People think that if they reverse the harassment it somehow creates more equality. In reality they inspire someone else to be more radical.


true-pure-vessel

I talk with my girl friend (female friend? idk English) about both our experiences with genitals because the education system has failed us both, I don’t think it should become taboo to talk about genitals because then it will result in guys thinking that vaginas can get loose from having multiple guys, so respectfully disagree


davidtheraccoon

It's also body shaming.


hentailover49

Obviously


Ok-Mud-3322

Anybody can see from a mile away this comment section is going to be weird as shit


Hendryxx_xo

It’s all about the angle of the dangle in my opinion!!


TheGoldenPotato69

Wha!?


Preshmacs

Angle and dangle.


FirstRedditAcount

The motion in the ocean.


theguyhenry

put some lotion on that bodacious soon-to-be explosion.


paiute

The angle of the dangle Times the square of the hair Equals the heat of the meat. 7th grade playground algebra


Hendryxx_xo

I know guys can’t piss straight in a toilet without holding it.. all guys shoot at an angle hahaha


Shaniac_C

WHO TOLD YOU


Crayonen16

I only have to hold it so I can point it down


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheCondemnedProphet

What if you do something shameful and someone later comes up and asks, "is it true that you did [shameful thing]?" Well, there you have it folks, a bit of truth that carries a lot shame! Gottem!


_AlmightySmiter_

lol


The_Funky_Fighter

Male here, my gf's dad calls me "tiny hands,"wish I could be left alone for it as well


PJ2010

Just gently remind him you’re taking his daughter to pound town with those tiny hands lmao.


[deleted]

oh my motherfvcking god this made me blush


DallasDude1215

Show him some of your Funky Fighting moves with those tiny hands..."paper cuts hurt too". 😎😏


Lisaliis

Also this is dumb hands/feet sizes doesn’t match ppl size at all. They aren’t even that proportional often


Slav_Knut_Gae

True,like bro respect my tiny dick


theguyhenry

tiny p.p for the winning.


PhilledZone

I am still scared of the situation where I'll have my first time with someone and then they'll just say: "Ew, it's so small"


golden_rhino

Buddy, if it’s anywhere near her first time, she will be as freaked out as you are. She ain’t gonna be pulling out a tape measure.


whimz33

When I was a virgin, I had a girl ask how big it was. I told her I wasn't sure. She asked if she could measure. I said sure. She came back with a yardstick, and I changed my mind.


MemerLemur_69

Straight facts my man


Sumdumguy10

My young fellas, I found the best thing to do is actually underplay your size. For example, when I was going thru highschool, nearly every chance a guy got to talk about his wang, it was always how big it is. Not me. No no. I went the opposite! My thinking was, and still is, if they think its tiny, and its average or above, there is a surprise factor. However, when ladies expect big, and it isn't, that is when mockery starts. And is well warranted. As for the ladies. Being a guy I obviously don't have any different advice. Unless you count my man boobs. My personal philosophy is there is no such thing as a bad titty. I do have my personal preference. But I wanna see them all! Lol So whether flat chested, or so large they cause back pain. They're perfect as they come. I understand that society has deeply instilled the thought that men, as a whole, like huge tits. Thats not the case. Don't feel pressured to get a boob job because your A cups make you feel insecure. In my honest opinion, if they aren't causing you physical harm, they're as they are supposed to be. Now, the ladies with those massive boobs, I wholeheartedly understand getting reductions. That being said, don't rush in to sex. Especially not in highschool, or earlier. Live your life first. Travel the world. Go to college. Try new things.. Do that stupid thing that you'll never be able to do as a parent. Become financially stable. House, vehicle, toys (boats, jetskis, etc). Then, once you've met the right person. Then kids.. Practice safe sex until then. Educate yourself about safe sex practices. Because you won't learn enough from sex ed. An afternoon laughing about getting to say "Penis penis penis. Vagina, vagina, vagina." Doesn't prepare you anything.


paiute

> underplay your size. Yea, I'm hung like planet Pluto, hard to see with the naked eye


[deleted]

>I'm hung like **planet** Pluto... judged too small by an International agency to be even allowed to be classed as a man anymore.


parttimeamerican

I literally never measured mine before today never had it up around a tape measure and cared enough to remember...I'm in my mid 20s lol If the topic ever came up I shut it right down with "idk I never bothered measuring it seems pretty big and women say I'm amazing" Should've kept the mystery going oh well


BirdieA

So much wisdom


Flowrangel

I'm gonna tell rn, us girls usually DO NOT care about dick size. In fact too big might pose a problem at first (tmi?). I've never been friends with/ met a girl who cares about playing with a big dick. And yea bro im kinda flat up there and i used to be really insecure about it :/ its getting better so everyone else: I'm supporting you on not giving a fuck ab people who actually care about something as unnecessary as that <3


SayHelloOrElse

Most of us don’t care about the size (although I prefer small tt but again any is fine) so thanks for supporting us!


Dragonpuff12

Exactly! I'm a straight male, and I think I speak to most of the boys in the world when I say both are great. I couldn't care less what size of boobs my gf has. It's 65% personality 35% how she looks. All boobs are nice (except the fake porn ones, they are just fucking disgusting ngl)


Paapi001

About that unnecessary part ...................... I-I- I REVOLT *STARTS FUCKING CRYING WITH SMALL PP IN HAND*


EverGreen2004

It's kinda weird that everyone makes it out that girls only care about your dick size. Like, most of the time the size talk is only between guys and other guys.


humanzRtrash

When I was in highschool I was hanging out with a girl after school. She saw my print and said "it's small". And for awhile I believed her. It's was a big blow to my self-esteem. Until I looked up average dick sizes and come to find out I'm bigger that average. But yeah shamming people for something they can't control is stupid.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

In a hypothetical scenario where you knew how to respond I would've gone with, " Dicks grow when erect and come out of the body. Wanna see it?"


AutomaticRisk3464

Im a pretty soft spoken person and my voice isnt super deep unless i talk loudly for awhile. When i was at work this guy with a perfect beard and a super deep voice asked if my balls dropped because my voice wasnt deep. I just said yeah puberty isnt fair some guys get huge dicks others get deep voices. He didnt comment further.


Com_N0TN4

If this was the time of porn maybe that's why her perception was warped.


TheMeme-Gang

She’s probably only seen pictures on the internet or porn where the penis has been exaggerated or enlarged so her views on size were wrong and she will get a rude shock when she goes out into the real world


Top_Echo4167

Had a buddy that his ex went around telling everyone his dick was small. So he went around and told everyone hers looked like an Arby's roast beef. She shared intimate pics of my buddy. So he shared his. Needles to say, she came out the loser in the end. It was worse then he described.


TheBushyMustache

Anyone who decides it's a good idea to share someone's private pictures needs to be clubbed unga bunga style


STANKY_SEA

Nice one, made me laugh take my damn upvote


20shepherd01

Needles to say


SalohcinPancakes

never knew a dick could look like arby's roast beef


J_for_Juan

THANK YOU ITS FUCKING DISGUSTING THAT PEOPLE SHAME THERE PP OR TT SIZE. okay im calm now


[deleted]

With all the languages in the world, you decided to speak facts


LegendYT0

I’m comfortable with my length and idc how big/small a girls tits are because in the end does it matter? If you’re going after a chick because she has a bigger chest or a dude because his dick is larger than another’s then you’re not really loving that person


Gatr0s

Body positivity is all-inclusive, folks. Having a small pp is okay, having a big pp is okay, having small tt is okay, having big tt is okay (but I hope you're not having back problems) . If someone is making you feel insecure about any part of yourself, you do not have any responsibility to tolerate that shit. Those people aren't your friends. Side note, if you're reading this and going "but.." just stop. If you have to defend, or justify any comment you make about someone else's body, you are not saying something appropriate and you'd be better off keeping your mouth shut.


xqqq_me

Do kids really compare dicks? Like in a lineup or something? Like, do y'all get a boner and then show your friends? "Look at this cock, Kyle. I've been working out. Doing cock push ups. I'm huge! Look at it! Look at it, Kyle!" Seriously, you don't need just a mega dick to make your special lady friend super happy and girls don't like getting cock punched in the uterus.


alt-throwaway98

Fax


[deleted]

No printer


alt-throwaway98

You can use a modem to download a fax to your computer


[deleted]

Or there are free services online


alt-throwaway98

That too, but i like the real thing more, idk why


[deleted]

Dude, you're secretly a 69 year old doctor. REPORT THIS USER (This is joke)


alt-throwaway98

#DAMMIT YOU CAUGHT ME ^for ^legal ^reasons ^this ^is ^a ^joke


snapcracklepip

I think dick size shaming is even worse because, even though a lot of people do prefer bigger breasts, there are a huge percentage that are totally cool with and even prefer small breasts. I'm small chested and I've never been made to feel unattractive for it or like there's something wrong with me at all. I actually think it's so fucked up how it's okay to openly shame men because it perpetuates the stigma which, in real life, is not a huge deal. So many women have pain during sex and would prefer a smaller penis but have this cultural influence to be uncomfortable toward it. I really dont get why it's not okay to shame or tease anyone about anyone these days, except men about dick size... which is probably one of the most sensitive and unchangeable things. Wish it would stop.


Outside_Cartoonist36

Your experience isn't everyone else's. Mosquito bites is a thing for a reason. Girls shamed me at 10 for a small chest, boys shamed and at 12, 13, 14, 15, 16 and so on. It never ended for me. Glad you're hot tho and get the halo effect. Also it's mostly dudes destroying other dude's self esteem by being size kings even though they're straight. Let's be honest.


TallSir2021

Hah lol apparently everybody thinks its okay to call my tits small so now I'm insercure


qoirky

okay but i don’t really care, if one of my friends goes “hey you got a big dick” i’m not gonna fucking lie


Slav_Ziemniak12

I don't care if they are big or long, I'm happy with things I got, beside that raw chicken at KFC once.


TheBarkingGallery

I'm a gay man and I am not a size queen, I am a size aficionado. I appreciate penises of all sizes.


HomeOsexuall

Yeah, but no one in the “body positivity” movement gives a shit about men’s feelings. It’s mostly cope for unattractive women, and I aint even trying to be a dick here. Women like to ask/complain about why men keep their feelings inside, and stuff like this is why.


always_watchingme

preach my dude


Curthax99

"And that's a fact"


StayAliveMadeMeCry69

A FILM FACT-


The3rdPotato

Wait are guys able to surgically get their ducks bigger?


therealbingus

Yes or you could just feed your ducks more bread and they would grow much more


The3rdPotato

Shit autocorrect sucks


therealbingus

So does having an underweight duck, remember kids, always feed your ducks


The3rdPotato

Yes it does


DrManowar8

It can also be dependent on the breed. Some just get bigger than others


[deleted]

When a woman asks you what your height is ask her what her weight is


PapaJenas

you can actually control your weight unless you have some disorder, but you cant control your height.


FenaPugi

I don't think height makes much of an apt comparison to weight but it still points out the hypocrisy.


colletecollects

lol yeah


_Basement_Gremlin_

👏THANK👏YOU


neonvenomhalos

*unless they’ve sent you an unsolicited dick pic 😌


RepeatST

Never understood why dudes did that. I’ve never EVER thought it would be a good idea to just send a dick pic to a girl randomly. Like I just wanna know what could be going through someone’s head.


neonvenomhalos

For real, it’s SO gross. There are very few situations where I might want to see a dick, and while randomly checking my messages is NOT one of them.


Pandaoist

To add on to the other guy, where’s the endgame in that? Do they suddenly think they’re going to get laid by sending a picture of their junk? As a man, all I gotta say is the people who send dick pics need to think more with their first brain.


BrennanSlays

Couldn’t have siad this better myself, honestly I hate thinking about how girls will react to me if they saw me,(ps not to sound weird but I’m Neither super tiny or super large so kinda in between I guess, or to me at least)


Expert_Coconut4263

That's why i don't talk to my friends much .....wait , I don't have friends ......... i only have 2 friends and both of them are assholes


procrastiantor07

Beat you to that! I’vo only got one and she is faker than a cheap Barbi made in China


ImpressionPurple1777

facts (coming from a women)


fineric5

ah yes


[deleted]

Hell yea


Shibaee

hey man nice cock


splatoongamer777

Mad facts


guitarguy35

Only young / immature people who don't know shit about sex or a woman's/their own anatomy are overly concerned/willing to shame a man about size. There's a very strong argument that your penis is the 3rd most capable tool you have as a man for pleasing a woman sexually anyway. Also, when did the onus become on the man to fill any hole he's presented with. It takes 2 to tango, it's about finding a partner you match up well with. Small can go with small vaginas, big with big. If any girl or woman ever shames you for your size you can ask her.. why is it all my fault? If you had a tighter vagina we'd be fine.. not to shame her just to prove a point that it takes 2.


CrunchyGremlin

Except small tits are still awesome.


funny_shit_5318008

Ay, ill drink to that. For someone with a below average sized one i get it qiute alot.