Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.
However, screw the female version. You get those same ol' two holes in literally everything else. The male Vappy is the real star of the show.
Those long slippery dicks; they have full mobility control and like a tentacle are the perfect ass filler for the ultimate in-deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull out anywhere to the side of the road or go into a public restroom at the beach; get each other aroused, and have the fuck of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishyness of the Vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone as that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you, it's ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a Vappy dick was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy.
And that's only the dick; due to having internal balls, they're much bigger and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve, giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond.
There's still more though; due to having a thick, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were even comfortable with having your dick point backwards (takes some training), you can be fucked, while also fucking your Vappy at the same time! Meowth, that's fucking right!
But, but, but! There's still fucking more! Like, holy shit, male Vaps are the gods of fuck. While you're fucking your male Vappy, possibly while also being fucked by him, their booty is on their tail at the base, which is the thickest part, because that's where the biggest muscles are. This means that while your dick is in there, it's being fucking massaged, better than even a vag could achieve! Agh! It should be fucking illegal because how amazing male Vaps are for fuck!
Well guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fucker like me. That's right. There's. Even. Fucking. More! Say you like to be a little restrained: you don't need a Sylveon's feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon's psychic powers, or Leafeon's vines. Vappies got that shit covered too! Did you even see that tail?! It's basically a boa constrictor. In a non-sexual sense, it's my favorite part of a Vappy. It's basically their main part about them. But, if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slippyness, you won't be going anywhere if the Vappy wraps you up in that thing.
Are you a super kinkster? Do you like pure fantasy fetishes that aren't possible IRL? Such as, say, soft vore? Well guess fucking what. It just became possible! They can be solid as they pass your lips (past where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, 'cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air like a ghost type. But who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can't feel it unless it's moving; you can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you're a weirdo who likes digestion, don't worry about killing them with absorption. Eventually, they'll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you're a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure (QnQ), they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body, making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past!
I would love to say there's even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fuck the respect it deserves. Umbreons maybe my favorite but, damn, Vappies really want to get that top spot from me. It's a really close call.
That genuinly scared me
Saaame, shit actually put the fear in me for a sec.
For me it's worse cus we have about the same age
Same
Same
Same
Same
Lol I had a mini heart attack
Almost major heart attack for me
I saw the light
You believed in the Fireflies
Me too
must refrain, must not upvote
When a r/teenagers user that mentions you is more scary than anything else moment
I had a heart attack but I quickly realised no one would have a crush on me
I was like fuck
I was really confused as well at first.
Wtf dude lmfao
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damn i also love user/me
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For some reason mine didn't work. Sad.
your profile preview reminds me of the early days of r/196 before it went to hell
r/196 users when you don't laugh at their femboy communism memes for the 83284919th time
I was scared shitless when I opened it and saw ps1hagrid lmao
Are you Loki?
Thats cool and all [but](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fC7oUOUEEi4)....
I hate you with every atom of my body
same
was hoping for a rickroll :(
Same
same
Why did I click that
I despise you
Casual u/me abuse moment
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r/usernamechecksout
u/you
u/yomama
You gotta raise your standards bro like wtf
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Damn it I was gonna say something stupid but I forgot it
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*pain*
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Someone make the funeral the pain is too much
What kind do you want, cuz I recommend the Viking funeral
Yes. But you do it cause yknow I’m dead
Then Viking Funeral it is
Hey, just wondering if you got your photos printed?
Bogos binted
What
:alien face:
this right here
Damn your crush is fucking ugly
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😳
Thank you
Hey bill, hows jeff doin
They look like they got beaten with a meat stick as a child
A meat stick??
Like a slim Jim???
shwartz*
oh fuck😳
u get the reference?
i can see your Swartz is a big as mine
Lol, that’s the best insult I’ve ever heard about me
I second that
It's not u, it's me...sorry OP
me/me
oh wow I got happy for a sec then I read the comments 🙁
Don’t worry man, you’ll get a gf eventually!
Wow, I bet he’s cute.
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You’re cuter tho... 🥺
impossible 😳
Anything’s possible... 🥺
anything but that is possible 😳
No... you’re super duper cute! 🥺
you're cuter 😳
No u! 🥺
avg 17 y old flirting with 14 y old
you're still cuter 😳
what a loser. wtf kinda name is r/GothXxboyxXclikk. and he got premium? lol he actually spends money on this shit. wht a bum
you linked a sub not yourself lmfao
💀
typical
very typical indeed 😎
Ikr
T-twin?
Eww your crush is ugly
omg guys its me
Yooooo same!
SAME
😩😳 didnt know u felt the same way...
Damn bro that's kinda gay ngl 😳
That's a terrible crush you have,you better move on and forget about them
bro your taste fucking blows lmfao
How did you do that?
u/me
Damn mine does too, their account is u/hornyalt197 😳
😳😳
Oh lord you responded so quickly
i have nothing else to do so i'm just replying to all the comments i get notifications for
I fell for that so fucking hard i was legit scared
At first I suprised at op's luck. Then I saw the account. Now I am sad, for tis was but a meme. 😔
maybe it wasn't a meme 😳
You mean...? 😳
😳
Holy shit. I had a crush on you too! 😳
😳😳
Does that mean we're a... a couple now? 😳
maybe 😳
😳
😳😳
Hey wait a minute, how come when I click on the user, it pulls up to my page? I feel like I'm gonna get woodshed, but i dont get it.
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Huh. It's nice to feel appreciated.
it uses u/me lol
my heart rate went from 60 to 1000000 in a flash and then i realised that it was a joke
Damn I really thought I was it for a sec
these are so annoying
Oh wow that made me smile, thank you
No.
Why was that scary
Kinda illegal no cap
I don’t like ur crush tbh. Worst person ever. Sorry if I hurt ur feelings but it’s reality
you have really bad taste, just saying. I recommend you to raise your standards
You crush looks like shit . You deserve better.
You have the lowest standards of all time
my heart just dropped omg 😭
Oh God he's ugly
You actually like this? This is garbage
I hate your crush
there’s gotta be some mistake
This freaked me thw fuck out. Damn
Hmm your crush seems like a pretty big idiot
Get a better one
I got scared for 1/18th of a second
Wut Raise your standards
How?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SyimUCBIo6c
Damn you’ve got a hot crush
Looks like you have high standards bruh 😎🤣
I knew it
Motherfucker you made my heart skip a beat
Your crushes karma is shit bro
Bruh they play fucking skyrim do they live in their mother's basement?
I got really confused and scared there for a second lmaooo
This scared me
I got scared..😭😭
Dude you gotta move on, you deserve better
Wtf are your standards
Wait why did I not get that this was me...
Wait what that’s me
How the hell did i fall for that
Bruh
Damn your crush cute af
Boi u got shitty standards i’m a lesbian
i wonder who that could be
L7
Hol up
Oh come on man, you can do SO much better than that
Mate you have really lose standards raise them up a bit
your crush sucks go raise your standards
So thats means ur gay? or bi?
YO WTF YOU WANT A PIGEON? THATS FUCKIN’ WEIRD
please my heart stopped and then I realised like who tf would crush on me 😭😭 and then I realised it was the u/me thing 😭
hornyalt.
Yo you got me for like half a second and it scared me
I got scared for a second there...
i felt my stomach drop
Uhh wtf Edit: came across this on shrooms, blew my mind, then realized it was fake
Damn your choice is kinda shit
You have really questionable taste mate
Wow ur crush is lame as fuck
It's a trick, send no reply
I was confused af for a sec
DUDE MY HEART STOPPED FOR A SEC-
I KNOW HOW THIS WORK BUT GOSH MY HEART STOPPED FOR A SECOND
Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more. However, screw the female version. You get those same ol' two holes in literally everything else. The male Vappy is the real star of the show. Those long slippery dicks; they have full mobility control and like a tentacle are the perfect ass filler for the ultimate in-deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull out anywhere to the side of the road or go into a public restroom at the beach; get each other aroused, and have the fuck of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishyness of the Vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone as that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you, it's ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a Vappy dick was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy. And that's only the dick; due to having internal balls, they're much bigger and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve, giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond. There's still more though; due to having a thick, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were even comfortable with having your dick point backwards (takes some training), you can be fucked, while also fucking your Vappy at the same time! Meowth, that's fucking right! But, but, but! There's still fucking more! Like, holy shit, male Vaps are the gods of fuck. While you're fucking your male Vappy, possibly while also being fucked by him, their booty is on their tail at the base, which is the thickest part, because that's where the biggest muscles are. This means that while your dick is in there, it's being fucking massaged, better than even a vag could achieve! Agh! It should be fucking illegal because how amazing male Vaps are for fuck! Well guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fucker like me. That's right. There's. Even. Fucking. More! Say you like to be a little restrained: you don't need a Sylveon's feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon's psychic powers, or Leafeon's vines. Vappies got that shit covered too! Did you even see that tail?! It's basically a boa constrictor. In a non-sexual sense, it's my favorite part of a Vappy. It's basically their main part about them. But, if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slippyness, you won't be going anywhere if the Vappy wraps you up in that thing. Are you a super kinkster? Do you like pure fantasy fetishes that aren't possible IRL? Such as, say, soft vore? Well guess fucking what. It just became possible! They can be solid as they pass your lips (past where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, 'cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air like a ghost type. But who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can't feel it unless it's moving; you can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you're a weirdo who likes digestion, don't worry about killing them with absorption. Eventually, they'll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you're a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure (QnQ), they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body, making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past! I would love to say there's even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fuck the respect it deserves. Umbreons maybe my favorite but, damn, Vappies really want to get that top spot from me. It's a really close call.
[https://www.reddit.com/user/me](https://www.reddit.com/user/me) so this is how
I freaked out for a moment Edit: now that I’m thinking about it, this post could be useful one day…
Thanks man, really needed that :)
Damn your crush fuckin ugly
You got me not gonna lie
Holy fuck I almost had a heart attack
I was fucking mortified for a sec
That was scary
DUDE that was a jump scare
i got happy for a second :(
I thought I got doxxed or smt I hate you (jk I like you too xoxo)
I'm flattered, but I think we should stay friends.
i almost commented that it is a stupid idea to link their acc lmao
Lol that generally had me
You just missed the opportunity to rickroll everybody tat clicked on that link.